Unity Life Center Durham blogs

Cry On

pzabkar — Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:56:37 +0000

"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts." Don Talayesva, (Hopi) from Words of Power, edited by Norbert S. Hill, Jr. (Oneida)

Somehow, some (or perhaps most) of us have learned that we are not supposed to cry...especially in public. We have been told or have come to believe that we should 'stuff' our emotions, keep them under control, look away, not admit to them. The emotion of sadness, we learn, should be one that is let out only in solitude...in the safety of our room. Even there we have learned to not let it out...to not cry too loudly lest we be found out.

Well, today I am sad and I want you to know it. Sadness crept in yesterday and has not yet left. I am apt to cry at any moment...remembering what has been but also in feeling grateful for all of it. I sing a song in my mind, begin to write a 'thank you' card, imagine how I will miss the routine of my life of the past year, feel the immense love and appreciation of all who looked to me as a spiritual leader, friend, even reverend. And today I will cry some more.

These words from Don Talayesva are a comfort to me. They remind me that with the release of tears, the emotional healing will begin. They remind me to be gentle with myself, to not rush the process, to be kind, to accept where I am. They remind me of the importance of release in the process of a clearing out and beginning again.

It is okay to allow the mind to be occupied by sorrowful thoughts. It is comforting and empowering to know that tears...and release...will make room for the next powerful, amazing and inspiring thought to emerge.

Cry on, my friends.

With deep love and appreciation.

Paula

Enough Time

pzabkar — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 17:22:16 +0000

Some of us believe that we never have enough time. There is just so much to do and not enough time to get it all done. We are a busy lot! The minutiae of daily living can be overwhelming. Daily life is assigned its overwhelming nature in our mind. It is in our mind that we create and build a story that has as its foundation...overwhelming-ness...and not enough time.

The story we create in our mind is like any really good movie or book. There is this underlying current that holds our attention and draws us in. This current permeates the film or the written word in a way that is subtle and strong at the same time. And so it is with our mind..our story...and the idea of not enough time.

There has been much written about time and its relevance (or irrelevance)...but just for a moment I want you to consider that you can shift the current that underlies your belief about not enough time. Just as the author, screen writer or director create the foundation in a book or film...you create the same thing in your mind. Do you want to feel as if there is enough time? Begin in your mind. Create and direct the current. Use this affirmation: there is enough time. Take a deep breath and say it...there is enough time. Say it AND feel it...ground it in your being...there is enough time.

It is a process that results in a completed novel or film. There is no 'poof' and it is done. To shift the current in your mind about enough time...or enough of anything...money, love, creativity, self worth...you must begin. Begin in your mind...and then begin again. There is enough.

You are powerful, beautiful and enough.

Much, much love

Paula

Make Me Whole!!

pzabkar — Mon, 11 Aug 2014 20:53:05 +0000

"Any experience that has not been lived will hang around you...will persist...(saying) finish me, live me, complete me." Osho

What does it mean to live, to live an experience? To me it means to get every drop of life out of it. To roll in it, submerge yourself in it, to be utterly immersed in it. It means to come to it wide open and vulnerable to what it has to offer. Let me have it all...every exquisite morsel of it. Let my whole being pulse with it...this life. This is life living you! Life living me!

To let life live you is to risk everything...your entire being. It is to risk condemnation and personal greatness...to risk ridicule and deep peace...to risk knowing yourself deeply and loving unconditionally. Letting life live you is to be present and aware in each moment, in each breath and to be in awe and wonder at it all.

To let life live you is to leave this earth with no regrets. To shout out in every experience...make me whole!!

Start today with what you are experiencing...right now. It doesn't matter if you label the experience good or bad...live it...consciously. Allow it to live you. Stay awake and alert.

Risk everything to get even a glimpse of what you truly are.

All is well

Paula

Heaven Is...

pzabkar — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 14:22:14 +0000

"If you circumambulated every holy shrine in the world ten times, it would not get you to heaven as quick as controlling your anger." Kabir Das, Mystic Poet and Saint, India

I think the opposite of anger is acceptance. But the root intention behind acceptance is peace...peace in heart, mind and soul. Just stop for a moment and feel peace in your body. Take a deep breath, slow down, be still, notice your hands, feel your chest rise and fall, let your shoulders drop, close your eyes, notice your heart. Be at peace: untroubled, tranquil, content (from dictionary.com). Peace rises from within.

This is heaven...a state of peace. Heaven is being awake, realizing possibilities, feeling love. And out of peace...from heaven...we know joy, understanding and compassion. The source of peace is within our own soul.

Anger is quite the opposite...it is a state of turmoil and resistance. It arises from our need to control and our expectation that life happen a certain way. Out of anger comes judgment, frustration and condemnation.

Controlling anger is accomplished simply by choosing peace. Simple, yes...easy, well not so much. With practice, however, it is possible to reside in heaven more often. So today commit to practicing peace. Start first in your body, choose peace in your body and let it flow from there.

Much, much love to you

Paula

You Are Oh So Divine!

pzabkar — Wed, 23 Jul 2014 20:06:53 +0000

"True success...is the unfolding of the divinity within us."

Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

We all want to be successful. Some of us dream of traveling the world, having a lot of money, living in a wonderful house, having a vacation home, working at a job we love, being powerful and recognized, feeling healthy and whole, graduating with honors. When we approach life this way, our idea of success is measured in outer conditions and accomplishments. We will be successful when ________!

The truth is this 'when' never comes. We may get what we have been after...but there is just a next 'when'. We are not satisfied. Outer accumulation of stuff is not success. Success is not about having, it is about giving. You might think this is quite a radical idea. And it is! It is radical because it is not the way we usually operate.

Success is about giving the gift that you are. It is about expressing the talent that is uniquely you. It is about living and expressing your divine nature. How do you know what this is? You will know what this is for you because of the way you feel. Your true and divine nature is what will make you WANT to get out of bed in the morning. It is what makes you feel vibrant and alive. When you are expressing this gift, time is irrelevant, you are in the flow.

The other thing you will notice is that when you express your divine nature, other people will be enriched...they will receive something much more powerful than the apparent gift. They will receive energy, love and joy flowing from you. They will notice that you are 'different' when you are in the flow...and they will be attracted to it...they will want to be part of it.

Success is surely yours when you commit to living and expressing your divinity.

Peace always

Paula

Walk Gently, Move Fearlessly

pzabkar — Fri, 11 Jul 2014 07:00:00 +0000

"Keep walking though there is no place to get to.

Don't try to see through the distances.

That's not for human beings. Move within,

but don't move the way fear makes you move."

Rumi

There are many great truths in this short poem. The first that I notice is to keep going...to keep on keeping on...to not let anything or anyone be the reason that you stop. This walking idea is a metaphor for us. It represents the keeping on that we do in consciousness, not in the busyness of life. To keep walking is to maintain awareness, to stay alert, to allow wisdom to arise. It is not the 'walk' of searching outside. It is the 'walk' of awakening to our magnificence and potential. This awakening happens in the moment and over time as we 'walk'.

The second truth I see is that the key to 'walking' successfully is to not be moved by fear. There are a hundred stories that you could tell right now that spring from fear. The fear of not having enough and not being good enough. The fear of making a wrong choice and of not knowing what to do. The fear of failing or of someone noticing your shortcomings. The fear of losing what you have or never having what you desire. The fear of not making a difference. The fear of being alone.

We should move the way love makes us move. Love softens our heart and looks for possibilities. Love is never discouraged. Love sees good and feels joy. Love in our heart clears out a way for the Divine to flow through.

Love through you allows the great masterpiece that you are to become known on earth.

Walk gently and move fearlessly.

Peace always

Paula

Uncertain

pzabkar — Tue, 01 Jul 2014 18:00:55 +0000

"In my research, I have found that what silences our intuitive voice is our need for certainty." Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Most of us are not at all comfortable living with the unknown. We would like to have things figured out, ducks in a row, humming on all cylinders. No thank you to anything that will upset our apple cart...we want a sure-fire guarantee. Enough aphorisms?

What is the unknown? Well, it is different things at different times for each of us. We experience the unknown when we lose a job, are diagnosed with cancer, care for ailing parents, love a drug addict, lose lots of money, are convicted of a crime, grow old alone, are unsure about a choice, finalize a divorce, start a new business, get married, have a child, open our heart, fear being hurt, move to a new town, worry about what others will think, fear making the wrong decision. If only we could know for sure, if we could see into the future...then we would know what to do, we would know the next step to take.

We don't have to stress about the unknown. We can learn to be okay in uncertainty because we can rely on our inner knowing, on our intuition. It takes courage to trust our intuition. Everything on the outside may be telling us one thing...but if we can stand in our strength, and we are willing to allow a little room for it to work, our intuition will come through for us. It doesn't have to make sense to anybody but you. You will know it because you will feel it...you will feel peace in it, you will feel satisfaction in it, you will feel a sense of rightness about it.

There is no certainty to be had in this life. We need to stop pretending that certainty is possible. The yearning for it blocks the voice of intuition. At any moment our apple cart could be upset, it could crash and burn or the apples could slowly rot. If we trust enough to stand where we are, take a deep breath and know that the next step will be revealed, we will release the burden of having to be certain and unleash the next greatest possibility in the next moment of our life.

Much love

Paula

This is Your Wake Up Call

pzabkar — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 12:16:30 +0000

"Are you God?" they asked the Buddha. "No," he replied.

"Are you an angel then?" "No."

"A saint?" "No."

"Then what are you?"

Replied the Buddha, "I am awake."

Huston Smith, The World's Religions

There is a lot of talk about the importance of being in the present...or the idea that we should practice the presence...and the power of now. Many of us 'get it' that this moment is the only one we have. The past is a memory and the future is yet to be...but right here, right now is what life is about. It is filled with possibility and potential, if only we can bring ourselves to it!

This is a life work, really...to engage in the present moment. To engage is to become involved in, interested in and absorbed in. It is living on purpose and carefree at the same time. It means living with awareness of what is and at the same time being open to greater possibilities. It is about living fully without fear, anxiety, doubt or judgment. These reside in the imagination. They are associated with the past or the future. They hold no grip on the present...unless you allow it.

We can practice engaging the present moment in small ways. Say I love you, go for an ice cream cone with your kids, buy a bouquet of flowers, call a friend just to say hi, give time to yourself to read a book, take a nap, watch the sun set, hold the door open, smile at the bank teller, go for a walk, take some deep breaths, swim in the ocean, laugh. Realize and acknowledge that you are being present.

When you are here, in the present, notice what it has to offer...at this very minute. Pretty soon you will see possibilities and you will feel grateful. You can carry this practice into all areas of your life...even into the most challenging moments. What does the present have to offer?

Wake up!

Peace always

Paula

Sacred Journey

pzabkar — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 13:55:53 +0000

I felt in need of a great pilgrimage
so I sat for three
days
and God
came to me.

Poem by Kabir, from Mala of the Heart, 108 Sacred Poems, Ravi Nathwani and Kate Vogt

We so often search for answers and meaning in the doing-ness of life. One more book to read, class to take, workshop to participate in, lecture to attend and retreat to go on. I recognize the urge rising in me to figure it out, find an answer, make a decision or know with certainty in which direction I should be moving. Sound familiar?

The great wisdom in this poem requires little elaboration. Be still, allow, let go, release, trust. The power and wisdom and joy, that is the God of your being, will rise up in you and guide you and fill you.

What more could you possibly need?

Much love

Paula

Twenty

pzabkar — Fri, 06 Jun 2014 21:47:47 +0000

Twenty years ago fax machines were the rage, if you had a cell phone you carried it around in a bag and I was diagnosed with cancer. Today is the day, June 6th, 2014...the twenty year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis. Twenty years is a long time. Twenty years.

I am not one to look backwards much...to look back at what happened that was beyond my control, to look back and judge myself or others, to look back and question my decisions. I am comfortable saying I have no regrets. This does not mean that I conducted my life perfectly...oh no! It means that I don't carry it forward with me into this moment.

I have chosen not to bring the experience of cancer forward and wear it as a badge, as an accomplishment, as if somehow I am responsible for being alive. I have chosen not to take on the name victim or survivor. I have chosen not to set myself apart or above anyone else because of it.

I am remembering this span of twenty years...all that I have accomplished, all that I have become...and I feel content. I feel content and at the same time I feel the urging of Spirit to continue moving...to be all that I came here to be...to keep expanding into a greater knowing of our Oneness and potential and unlimited possibilities. And above all else to demonstrate love in all that I am, in all that I do, and in every situation and circumstance.

Today I am reminding myself to engage life fully and to be grateful for each moment...and to love...fully, deeply and unconditionally.

Much, much love,

Paula