Not only because it makes you feel like the ultimate man, but it’s also such an amazing display of God’s divine handiwork.

The very idea that a human being is growing inside of the woman I married and care for so deeply, a life that we helped create (with a little bit of God’s help of course) is something that I still haven’t wrapped my brain around.

But there is one word that really helps me describe everything; blessed.

Psalm 27:3 says, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord…” & Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

Wow. A gift given to us from God, one that was created in my wife’s and my likeness, ultimately created in HIS image.

That’s some powerful stuff.

And for that reason, I don’t want to take the gift of fatherhood lightly.  

Growing up, my parents were always the first one’s that I turned to when I needed advice. They knew me better than anyone. And after 27 years, they are still one of the few people that I go to for advice.

I don’t just go to them because they are my parents; I go to them because they care. They’ve always been there for me, no matter what.

In many ways, our parents are an extension of God’s guidance on earth, depending on whether or not they choose to lead in his footsteps.

I’ve come to realize that being a parent is not simply a label we receive when we have a child. It’s so much more than that. While it’s a gift, it’s a gift that’s given with responsibilities attached.

I think it starts first with throwing away our own selfish needs and desires. Sacrifices will need to be made. Certain habits may need to be changed.

Having children makes you think about your priorities.

When I first started thinking about the fact that I was going to be a dad, I started thinking to myself, “ok, what do I have to do before this little guy or girl pops out of my wife.” I think it was in those exact words as well.

But really, everything starts flooding your brain. Where are we going to live, what will we need, how much money will we need, is my wife going to work, how will we do this, how will we do that, blah blah blah.

In many ways, I found myself trying to figure everything out for myself…forgetting that God has a pretty big role in all of this. I have a feeling that my mumble planning sounded a little bit like Charlie Brown’s teacher…wah wah wah wah.

In all seriousness, I don’t want this process to turn into a “what do I have to do…” situation. I want it to be a “I want to do this…” situation.

My wife and I chose to try and have a child, and God gave us that gift. Why then should we waste our time trying to get every little thing perfect without involving the very One who picked out the gift in the first place?

In many ways, I’ve made a decision to use the gift of fatherhood as my opportunity to trust God more faithfully and rely on his ultimate plan.

Time and time again, I look at the process of becoming a parent as a bit of a worry festival (I think I just made that up, but if they existed, parent’s all over the world would show up in herds). And then I remember that God is the only one who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, next week or 10 years from now. Why not let him take care of that?

Now, this doesn’t mean parent’s should quit their jobs and wait for God to rain cash from the sky to help fund their amazingly hip, Pinterest-stolen-but-I-kind-of-said-that-I-came-up-with-it-myself-decorated baby room.

Saying that “everything is in God’s hands” but forgetting to include him in your decisions and using the brain and skills he’s given you isn’t exactly following God’s plan.

I’m talking about living a daily, conversational life with God that allows you to sell away your worry festival tickets for good.

I’ve come to grips with the fact that I simply can’t be a dad on my own. I need help from my heavenly father, or I’m simply going to struggle and try and do everything on my own. It’s quite a humbling experience.

A lot of people like to quote “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phillipians 4:13).

Great verse.

But how are we going to get pumped up without ever working out? How are we going to be strengthened by God if we don’t rely on him to give us that strength? How will we succeed if we don’t let him coach us?

As I think about my journey towards fatherhood, I can’t help but think about the fact that God made the ultimate sacrifice by sending his son to this earth to be broken for us. He goes through all the fatherly pains that I will go through. He’s been there, and he’s still there going through it every single day with his earthly children.

I want to go to him for advice first and foremost. I want to make him my #1 source of strength so that I can do everything he has equipped me to do.

To be the best father I can be, not because I “have to,” but because I know that God does it for me every single day.

He gives us his all, and I want to give my all to Him, my wife and my soon-to-be son or daughter.

I accept my gift of Fatherhood with a blessed and joyful heart.

He has blessed me exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine.

He’s given me the gift of life, and life everlasting!

photo credit

I ask myself that question on a daily basis.

Not because I’m so lost that I feel like I’m wandering all over the place. But because I want to feel alive, every single day I wake up.

I don’t want to have any “throw away” days. Granted, there are days that seem to never end, one’s where everything seems to be going wrong. But if you step back and really take a hard look at it, there had to have been one moment in your day that was worth living.

You see, no day is meaningless. There isn’t a day that goes by that we should throw out the window. Life is too short and too important.

This is when I wish I was a kid again. Because kids always find something exciting, every single day. There’s always at least one thing in their day that makes them smile. It doesn’t have to be big. They have the ability to enjoy the moment.

Are you enjoying your moments? Do you take time throughout your day to simply stop and realize just how blessed we are to be free, breathing human beings, living on a beautiful planet.

Yes there are hardships. Yes there are tragedies. Things aren’t always easy. Life…well, isn’t always easy.

But that doesn’t give us the right to sulk in the fact that we have to work every week day, or that we have to sit behind a slow driver, or that we have to wait in line for more than 5 minutes at the store.

What are we doing with our lives that so many things irritate us? 

I’m guilty when it comes to, well, not always finding the good in everything. It’s so easy to throw away the day and hope tomorrow is better.

This is one instance when hope is bad. “Hoping” that things get better is a crappy thing to say to someone. “Hey, I hope things get better for you.” Great, thanks for the concern.

Action is much better. Take them out to dinner. Make them dinner. Write a letter, get them a card or take them out to see a movie. DO SOMETHING. Hope is great, but without any action, it’s dead.

Let me put it this way. Hoping I win the lottery…but never buying a lottery ticket  (Sadly, this is true for me. I don’t want to waste my money on tickets, yet somehow I believe I could find a winning lottery ticket in the trash somewhere). I can hope all I want, but if I don’t believe it will happen and take steps and put in the effort, it’s just not going to happen without a miracle.

As a believer, this is very similar. I put my hope in God that he can bring me out of a difficult situation, but I shouldn’t just go sit and sulk in the corner and “hope” he shows up. I should pray. I should ask God to help me. And then I should do everything I can to show God that I know he is able to overcome whatever is facing me.

So what are you doing today? Tomorrow? 5 years from now? You don’t have to have your life mapped out. But you should make sure that you live every single one of those days like it’s your last. 

What does that mean? No, you don’t go and spend all the money you have traveling to places you can’t afford. It’s not even crossing off every little thing off your bucket list.

It means that you get up every day with the intention of making it count. Be intentional. Step out of your comfort zone. Care for people. Put yourself second.

And most of all, throw away your worries.

Cast your cares to God, cause he’s the only one who knows what’s going to happen today, tomorrow and 5 years from now. 

I get it. We are all flawed. We all make mistakes. But when did accountability turn into judgement? How come no one can hold anyone accountable these days? The only “supposed” accountability in the world right now is the law. If you do something that goes against our laws, you most likely will get punished.

Who holds you accountable on a daily basis? If it’s no one, you’re in trouble. Humans are flawed, I’ll say it again…we aren’t perfect. We make tons of mistakes, even just on a daily basis. Whether we choose to admit it or not, we know we make mistakes. We know when we do things wrong, even if we don’t admit it. There’s that feeling in the pit of our gut that says “hey, that’s not right.”

But we don’t want people to point it out for us. Cause if they do, then they are judging us. “How dare you judge me!” This is our first reaction response. And people that are so called religious are the biggest offenders of judging others…right? If you were to walk up to the average Joe and ask him a group of people that judge people the most, it would most likely be people who are religious…most likely Christians.

Why Christians? Because many of them make it a priority to hold each other accountable. Now, there are plenty of people who claim to be Christians who have missed the mark on what accountability is and how it should be used. Walking up to strangers and telling them that they are going to Hell because they are a sinner is not accountability.

Christianity is built on community. We need each other because none of us can do this thing we called life on our own. We need, first and foremost, direction for God and trust that his will for our life is bigger than ours. But secondly, we need community. We need people to keep us accountable for our actions and the way we live our life.

Christian or non-Christian, people need to care about others. It’s part of who we are. Selfishness always leads down a difficult, unfulfilling path. So if we care about other people, shouldn’t we want to keep our friends and family members accountable for their actions?

You see, loving someone does not mean supporting them no matter what they do. I can love someone but not condone their actions. So many people are so concerned with making sure they don’t offend anyone that they end up standing for nothing. If your friend became a mass murderer, you wouldn’t say, “Hey, that guy’s/girl’s my friend, I’ll always support him/her no matter what.”

That would be ludicrous. But what if you said that you didn’t condone what he/she did, but you still love him/her. That would make more sense. You are holding them accountable for their actions. They did something wrong, so you make an effort to point out their flaws but still reassure the fact that you care about them. 

Why is this wrong? Because it’s become blown out of proportion by so many people. Immediately, we put our guard up and throw out the J word. “You’re judging me!”

What an excuse. We use the term “judge” as a great excuse when it comes to our own mistakes and shortcomings. It puts some of the blame off of us and onto someone else.

Of course, it’s easy for people to be misguided in their accountability. But simply because I make mistakes as a human being doesn’t mean that I should never ever point out mistakes in one of my friends or family members. What kind of love is that?

You sin, I sin, we all sin…so let’s do nothing about it. Great plan. 

Not. That’s a terrible way to go about your life. For example, I’ve struggled with anger for a good portion of my life. Not so much on big things, but on the little things. I overreact when, say, I drop a cup of water all over the kitchen floor. It’s water, no big deal right? Well…for some reason, it gets to me.

This is a flaw I have. I’m constantly working on it though…but only because my wife pointed it out to me. Before I was married, no one really questioned it. People just kind of ignored it. My wife holds me accountable. She lovingly pointed it out to me, and I realized how pathetic it really was. Now I’m working to change it.

Accountability. WE NEED IT. Judgement, not so much, unless we break the law and find ourselves in court. And of course, when we breathe our last day on this earth and face our creator. He’s the only one who can judge the living and the dead.

So, I get it. I understand we shouldn’t judge people. But maybe we need to take a step back and define what judging really means. Maybe we need to look at our flaws and realize that sometimes we need accountability. Sometimes, we need to give “tough love” so to speak, in order to be a loving, and caring friend.

Doing nothing about it is not love. Loving someone despite their flaws should be our goal. But loving someone and ignoring their flaws is a whole different thing. 

Love is great. It’s a powerful thing. But love is not blind living. It doesn’t mean we walk around oblivious to wrongdoings and flaws.

We need to be accountable with each other. This can be done without sending someone’s soul to hell. There’s a difference.

Let’s take the foot off the judgement pedal and ease into the accountability pedal. I will never judge you, but I will hold you accountable for your actions and the way you live your life. You see, it’s my duty to hold you to a certain standard. And it’s yours to hold me to it as well.

We can’t live this life on our own.

We need each other.

We need to keep each other accountable.

Goals are great. Achieving them, heck, even better. But if our whole lives were planned out, what kind of fun would that be? My wife and I don’t really plan things. We prefer to fly by the seat of our pants. This tends to make us look like we don’t care about things. You see, planners don’t understand how people can get up on a Saturday and not know what they are going to do that day. “WHAT, YOU DON’T HAVE ANY PLANS, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!?!”

Excuse the all caps, but it gets the point across. Planning has its place in our world. For instance, planning to have some type of income stream (a job) in place when you’re looking to start a family. Planning a college fund for your children. Planning out your finances. All these things are essential.

But it’s the rest of the planning that makes me bored. I don’t want to wake up every day knowing exactly what I’m going to do. How is that fun? When discussing job situations and looking for a job that I enjoyed, my dad responded by saying, “Aaron, life isn’t fun.”

He’s got a good point, because most of us have planned out a life or boring, routinely robotic living. If that kicked you where it counts, I apologize. But hey, if you weren’t expecting to get kicked where it counts, at least you got a taste of some spontaneity, eh?

The art of spontaneity is something that all of us should study. Think about people who win the lottery. Yes, the money is a huge part of the excitement, but most people get a rush from winning the lottery because it’s spontaneous. They don’t expect to hit the jackpot.

Expectations can also come from planning. When plans fall through, your expectations have not been met. Then you get ticked off. So you’re mad about the fact that you planned something and it didn’t happen. Boohoo.

Some planners even plan backup plans. That’s like super planning. Picture a superhero who is an amazing planner. Lets call them the superplanner (quite original, I know). How much would that comic book stink? “The superplanner planned to have a picnic at 3:00 at the park, and they did!” Freaking awesome. I never saw that coming…

I got a little carried away there. But you get the picture. Planning is boring. There’s really no way around that. Planning reminds me of being an adult, which is not something I like to be called. I prefer to still be called a kid. I think you can be smart, have goals and survive without necessarily having to waste hours of your life planning.

Spontaneity is a an art form. Being open to doing whatever on a given day is freeing. When you “plan” to have people over your house, you also plan a bunch of other things that you don’t want to do. You “plan” on cleaning the house (yippee!), you “plan” on going to the grocery store to get food and you even “plan” a time when they will leave (depending on how much you like them).

This is why people hire wedding planners. Weddings are stressful enough (for most people, my wife and I didn’t experience this), but thinking about planning one is another store. We basically tell the world that planning stinks when we hire someone to do it for us. We want someone else to do it for us. This, in many ways, shows our longing for spontaneity.

Many people have 9-5 jobs. We plan to work for 5 days a week, every week pretty much, from the morning to evening. Our weeks are planned out for us for 8-9 hours a day, 5 days a week. Coupled with the fact that most people dislike their jobs, that’s a pretty planned life with little excitement.

So how do we enjoy a spontaneous life? It’s pretty easy actually. Stop planning!

I just blew your mind.

There’s this thing that some people do…it’s called living in the moment. Very few of us do it. Taking what comes your way and running with it. Throwing away your “to-do” lists. (By the way, have you ever looked forward to the things on your to-do list? Seriously, those things stink. “I get to mow the lawn, clean the kitchen AND go grocery shop in the SAME day? YES!”)

If you are a crazy planner, there’s hope for you. There’s nothing wrong with you. Unless it takes away your ability to live in the moment and enjoy the here and now. If you are upset when you have nothing planned, there could also be some issues…are you content?

Let me be clear here. Planning isn’t a bad thing. It has its place in our lives and people who plan are not my enemies. I  know plenty of people who are planners. But if it restricts you from ever taking part in the spontaneity of life and living in the here and now, you are missing out big time. Some people are shopaholics, buying stuff they don’t need. I think there are planaholics as well. They get a high from crossing off their “to-do” lists and starting a new list for the next week (I just threw up a little in my mouth).

If you are a planner, you probably hate this post. In many ways, this post stemmed from my use of “planning” as an excuse. I’ve always wanted to start my own business, and my way of putting it off was to “plan” to start a business. This type of planning is called being lazy. Planning to workout and lose weight and then actually gaining another 20 pounds is the equivalent to my business endeavors.

What did I need? I needed action. Start something. Do something. This is my point about the pitfalls of planning. We can plan our lives away without actually doing what we love and enjoying our lives. We could plan to do fun things and do them, and still not enjoy them because we are already looking for the next best thing to plan/do.

For me, the only type of planning I do is an excuse. Whenever I say that I “plan” on doing so and so, I’m really saying that I’m putting it off. I’m either afraid to fail or I’m too lazy to execute. This type of planning is the most dangerous kind. Don’t plan your life away (put your life on hold). And don’t spend your weeks planning every little thing to occupy your time.

These 2 types of planning are very different, but both lead to the same problem…

Spontaneity doesn’t exist. There’s no thrill in your daily living. Not only that, I think some planners find it hard to be satisfied and content. Sitting outside on a Sunny day is great, but if you don’t have any “plans” that day…your day feels empty. People who don’t plan all their weekends can enjoy those sunny days on the back patio without worrying about what they are going to do later on.

There’s something powerful about being spontaneous. I encourage you to give it a try. Let things happen.

I always go back to the phrase of “what are you doing today?” This is probably heard in households throughout the world on the weekend. Whenever my wife asks me that question, I usually say “I don’t know.” Because, in reality, I’d rather not know.

I’d rather just let things happen.

Because that’s when I feel most alive.

Here’s to the art of spontaneity and the ability to live life one day at a time. It’s an amazing gift.

But maybe we need to focus on taking care of the money that we DO have and read more articles about how we lose our money so easily.

I think it’s safe to say that most people are good at spending money. It’s pretty easy. We want something, we buy it. Sadly, we are spending a lot more money than we are earning. In fact, we are blinded by the word “earning.”

We think that because we’ve plopped our behind’s in a desk or cubicle for 40 hours a week, the money we get in return is ours to liquidate. For some reason, earning has come to mean spending. We frequently use this as our way of justifying our purchases. “I’m going to go buy a new (fill in the blank) because I’ve earned it!”

How many of us say, “I’m going to put this money away in savings because I’ve earned it!” Frankly, I’ve never ever heard anyone said that. Granted, there are people who are great savers and do put money away, all the props to you.

But you probably know more spenders than savers. People spend so much of their paycheck that they even go to their employers and ask for a raise because of their inability to save and handle their money. Why should you deserve more money if you’re going to mishandle it again?

I wish every paycheck was given with another section entitled “actual money that you will still have in a week.” Because most likely all of it will be spent by then.

People are devastated when they physically lose their cash, either by misplacing it or when it’s stolen from them. But very rarely are we saddened when we lose it to impulse buys, luxuries we can’t afford and material items we don’t even need.

We lose our money every day. It’s a simple fact. Yet it’s life-changing to realize.

Sometimes we don’t understand the magnitude of our spending until we lose our source of income. We realize just how much we’ve become a slave to our paycheck. Without it, we can’t survive. Not just because we need essentials like food, gas and a roof over our head…but because we have so many debts and “things” piled up to pay for.

So why don’t we save our money? Well for one, saving is lame. If someone asks you, “Oh, do you own a home?” the lame response is “No, we are saving our money till we can afford it one day.”

Lame, oh so lame. We want to hear you have a nice big house and a nice fancy car, we want you to share in our debt and spending. Sadly, when we are treading water with our money, we find comfort and peace in the fact that other people are struggling as well. It eases the pain. It makes OK.

Most importantly, it becomes a norm. If everyone is in debt and spends all of their paycheck, then it’s really not that big of an issue.

Then we end up stuck in careers we don’t like, jobs that leave us feeling empty and relationship that are always on thin ice.

Losing your money doesn’t have to happen all it once…it can slowly happen over a period of ill-advised purchases and buying things you don’t need.   

We know how to lose our money. It’s time we start learning how to save it.

Yes, saving sounds lame. Most of the time when you think of people who love to save money you immediately think of someone who either uses it as an excuse for living with their parents or someone who has no life.

At what point did saving money get such a bad rap? Why do we glorify purchases so much? It’s actually kind of silly if you think about it…

You work. You are given green and white pieces of paper as compensation. You take that paper and exchange it for something that most likely will never be worth the same amount of paper you had to give up to get it. Then you take the next weeks paper and do it all over again.

Sounds kind of silly doesn’t it? Aside from the whole green and white paper nonsense, money is a tool. We should never look at it as something more than that. When it becomes something that drives us, something that fills voids in our lives or even something that measures our success…we’ve missed the boat.

Cause if that’s the case, then you’ll never have enough money. You’ll always want more and you’ll always spend more. You’ll always lose more.

God has blessed us so abundantly. We love to praise him when things are going great, when he blesses us with bonuses and promotions. But then we take all the credit by keeping that money and using it for whatever we feel like using it on.

We’ll give 10% of it to God and the rest of it, well…we can do whatever we want to do with it. Our view of tithing and money in general is quite flawed.

God isn’t only concerned with that 10% we give him. He cares about the whole 100%.

That other 90% shows where our heart really is. If we are simply blowing it all, what does that have to say about our heart? “Where your treasure is…there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21)

Being a good steward of your money and your finances is something that God expects of us. I’m blown away by the amount of people who waste their money away and claim to live their life in line with His teachings.

There are over 2,350 verses in the bible about money. That’s over 15% of the bible. So why are we so careless with our money? We are selfish.

I can’t count the amount of times I’ve wanted to buy something without really thinking about the consequences. The longer I think about a purchase, the less likely I buy it. Why? Because I’m using my brain. We like to turn off our brain when we see something we want to buy.

We want the latest and greatest right now. We’ll figure out how to pay for it later.

This isn’t the way we should be living. We shouldn’t be finding more and more ways to lose our money. We should be doing our best to use our money as a tool for good. There’s nothing wrong with spending wisely.

It all comes back to your heart. I’m not saying you should never buy anything you want. I don’t claim to be perfect in this area. But you should be aware of what your spending and why you are doing it. You should save your money and not just “want” to save.

How are you using your money? Are you being an example to others…your friends, family and your kids?

People see what we buy with our money. God sees how and why we buy. God sees our heart.

Give to God first, save second and spend what you need. You’ll have a hard time worrying about money again.