And that’s precisely the wrong response. The right response is to delegate it so that others learn why, how, and when to do it.

This is a case where short-term thinking prevents grounded, future-building processes. In the short-term, finishing that 15 minute task rather than spending 30 minutes in the delegating, training, and supervision process and still not having it done seems counter-productive. The broader view understands that we owner-executives are swallowed whole by a heap of 15-minute tasks, but, not only that, the fundamental processes that lead to the heap will remain in place so that we’ll end up with a heap no matter what we do.

The only way out is to build better team processes and execution that remove those 15-minute tasks from your heap for good. Would you rather spend 30 minutes and be done with that kind of task for good or see that task return to you an indefinite number of times in the future?

The shift that occurs during the process of company-building is seeing yourself as the primary executor and seeing yourself as a team builder. When you make that shift, you see that your job isn’t to do the task itself – it’s to make sure that you have the people, processes, and systems in place to get the task done. And if you remain buried under that heap of 15-minute tasks that aren’t the essential functions of an executive, you can’t do the job that only you can do.

So, the next time you decide to just do it yourself, ask yourself whether you want to do it the next time … and the next time … and the next time. If not, it’s time to train, delegate to, and supervise somebody else on getting it done.

But neither the fringe nor the fair-to-middlings catch the bottled lightning of exercising for the creative spark. I’m not talking about how 10 downward dogs a day might keep you in good enough shape to type another 200 words on your to-do list for 2015. I’m talking about how exercising can open your skull so that ideas pour directly in, and what was a stone soup becomes nourishment for your noodle, and spicily stirred.

Here’s my recipe: have a writing problem. As a writer, you have writing problems. If you’re a home-based knitter, you have knitting problems. If you’re a coder, you coding problems. The world is cruel that way. So, my writing problems are often of this nature: There are no words to say what I have to say. I’m doomed! (Cue sound of grown man bleating like a wounded lamb.) My most recent problems were two: I had no angle on a magazine article I’m writing, because the base material was abstruse, and I couldn’t find a way in. The second was that I was stuck in a scene of the novel I was writing, and it was a scene needful of an narrative explosion.

I took my standard approach to solving this problem: I found some dust on the rear of my monitor, and I blew it off. I went in the house and ate a handful of peanuts. I checked Google News to see if Newt Gingrich was advocating arming grandmothers with hand grenades so they are safe while shopping. Surprisingly, my writing problems weren’t solved. But then I did something that has worked so many times before, and because I have banana peels where rational thought should be, something I always forget: I went bicycling.

But I didn’t go bicycling to furiously pedal while I furiously considered my writing problem. You see, I’d already done that while I was working with dust, peanuts and Newt’s grenades. Professorial braniacs have discovered that when you prime the pump of the mind, putting some pressure on that extraordinary neuronal glob within your noggin, it will seem to work out the primed problems on its own, without your direct intervention. In fact, in my case, it’s always better to stay out of the way.

Cut to bike—while I was moving merrily along the Santa Cruz coast, thinking that it’s so wonderful how climate change has me in shorts and a t-shirt in February and wondering if that means the next Ice Age will start in June, my brain sent me an instant message: problems solved. In succession, I heard in my brain the full, word-for-word title of the magazine article I wanted to write, and that title gave me the angle into the material. Next, the solution to my slagging scene in the novel, complete with several phrases I could use verbatim and a full sentence that set the scene’s full stage. Business writing problem solved, pleasure writing problem solved. And I did not crash.

But I did marvel. It occurred to me again, duh, that if you have your clammy hands around the neck of your mind while trying to extract a concept confession, relaxing your hands will let the confession come out. This has happened to me many, many times, often while biking, sometimes while hiking, and once in a while while picking nits off of the floor. (Note: you can buy bags of nits at the Nit Store if you don’t have any around the house.) Maybe you can do it golfing, shooting skeet, or popping your head back and forth over the neighbor’s fence to see if there’s any sunbathing going on.

So, whatever the cognitive mechanism by which this works, it does work. So whether you are avidly exercising so that you’ll be a bite of buff cake for your sweetheart, or you find the whole notion of working up a sweat too much work, consider that it’s actually a way to receive useful gifts from the cosmos. The cosmos is a giver of gifts—just move into a position to catch them.

We all want our words and actions to serve and contribute. Feedback lets us know whether or not we’re hitting the mark.

Sometimes we avoid giving feedback because we’re afraid of conflict or of not being liked.

Sometimes in giving feedback, our strong emotions about the topic cloud our ability to communicate clearly in the moment.

What to do?

Ground yourself in your intention for giving feedback.

Is your intention to make the other person wrong and to feel ashamed or guilty?

Is your intention to see behavioral changes even if it’s at the expense of rapport and morale? Set your intention to have all three: rapport, high team morale, and effective workplace behaviors.

When feelings are high

Feedback should not be venting.

If you need to vent because you have strong feelings about the issue, do that first, and in a safe way. Your journal or a trusted friend who knows how to listen empathically* should do the trick.

Make sure you surface what is important to you and the observable behavior that did not work for you, rather than judgments and analyses.

*(Here’s a short video I filmed titled “How to DO empathy” for how to be present effectively when emotions are hitting the frying pan – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBjTsuhsaOY)

This safe form of venting does not need to dilute your message. It will actually make it stronger because your communication will be clearer.

Components of clear feedback:

Concrete and specific observable behaviors

Stick to the objective facts, rather than your analyses, judgments, or interpretations.

For example, let’s say I am a customer service manager in a grocery store, and I see an employee treat a customer in a way I consider rude and disrespectful.

The first thing I want to be able to clearly articulate is observable behavior. This could be words or actions.

If I say, “I saw you being rude to a customer” that is less useful than “I heard you tell the person: ‘the item is right in front of you’ without looking up from your clipboard.”

Offering specific words or actions will make it easier for the other person to hear my feedback and correct their actions.

How I feel about it because of what is important to me (my values)

Don’t hide behind policies and rules.

If you are triggered, own it. It makes you more human, and it creates the kind of rapport that will make us more effective team members.

You can refer to policies, rules and norms, but own your experience and values.

Give the other person an actionable way to respond to your feedback in this moment (a clear, specific request)

This will require a fairly high degree of self-awareness about exactly what you are wanting – right now – from the person to whom you are giving the feedback.

Putting it together:

“When I heard you say to the customer ‘the item is right in front of you’ without looking up from your clipboard, I feel concerned because I value the success of our store. Treating customers as the most important people in the building is part of what sets us apart from our competition. Would you be willing to agree to reflect on this and re-prioritize exceptional treatment of customers?” (Notice that with the first several words, the other person can agree or not agree right now. This is actionable immediately.)

A few more examples

Rather than:

“It’s hard to run meetings when you keep taking us off on tangents.”

Try:

“When we were going over financial statements in the meeting, and you started talking about your upcoming vacation, I was distracted because I was really trying to understand some of the fine points of the discussion. Could you save that for during a break?”

Rather than:

“You people are a bunch of selfish a****les”

Try:

“In this discussion about compensation packages, I’m struggling, wanting for us to look after the well-being of everyone in the company, not just those in this room. I’d like to see a show of hands of other people who share my concern.”

Rather than:

“This copy makes no sense.”

Try:

“I’m having a hard time connecting the dots between our product and what you wrote for the sales page. Could you agree right now to re-writing it with a clear statement of the problem we solve at the top, and bold-face the benefits in a larger font?”

Advanced Tips

Seek to connect rather than chastise

People are more likely to do what I’ve asked, and for the right reasons, if they like me and trust me.

The question: “How do you feel about what I’ve just said?” or other variations like, “what comes up for you when you hear this?”, will involve the person in the feedback, let you know how you were heard, and whether the feedback was useful.

It can also sometimes yield surprising clues as to dynamics of which we were unaware. “I just found out my mother has cancer” or “I just learned that my wife has had an affair” might allow us to respond in a compassionate way that will increase rapport, and will make the workplace a little more human — and all of this will increase rather than erode morale and teamwork.

Don’t make it personal

When we approach giving feedback from the perspective of “we are on the same team” and our feedback is truly to serve the other person, the team, or the shared mission and vision, then our relationship – and by extension future collaboration – is not on the line because the feedback is not personal.

Feedback is more powerful when the other person solicits it

Try to establish an organizational culture of giving and receiving feedback, and do your best to hire and work with people who want to continually learn and grow. Seek to be one of these people.

Simplify your feedback

If someone has many areas that need to change, pick your top one or two so that you don’t overwhelm them. Most of us can work on and improve only one or two areas at a time. Save the rest for the future.

Positive feedback is as important as negative (constructive) feedback

This will increase morale and help your team members build on their strengths.

The feedback function of gratitude and appreciation

I wrote a blog post titled “The purpose of gratitude” (http://cascadiaworkshops.com/the-purpose-of-gratitude/) in which I make the point that since we all want our words or actions to contribute or serve, appreciation and gratitude serve an important feedback function to let us know when we have hit the mark. This type of feedback adds wind to our sails. Without it, it’s easy to wonder whether or not our efforts are worth it.

One former client begins all staff meetings with a gratitude round in which each person states one thing for which they are grateful. This also points the reticular activating system part of our brain in directions that will lead to higher effectiveness, morale, and productivity.

Later that day I talked with a client who was frustrated about having to go to this meeting and that and be involved in projects and committees he didn’t see the point of.  His thought was that if he didn’t have to do these things, perhaps he could do something really significant and meaningful.  In many of my meetings with clients, someone is bemoaning having to deal with a person they find difficult to work with (or be around) who tends to throw wet blankets on their greatest ideas or roadblocks in the way of their progress.  Of course, I can relate to all of this.  I think we all can.  And yet, I have to believe that these little things that have a way of driving us crazy sometimes must serve some vital purpose in our lives.

Repeatedly, I encourage my clients (and myself) to envision that which they believe would be the ultimate for them.  For some it is becoming a C-level leader, a best-selling author, an accomplished musician, a sought-after professional.  For others, it is better leveraging their talents in a way that they can get paid to do what they do best and most enjoy.  Perhaps it is simply learning to maintain a healthy work-life balance so that their success doesn’t come at the price of their happiness.

Do you have some secret dream of becoming more than you currently are?  Of tapping into the vast field of potential that lies waiting for you to discover it?

See if you can envision what it would be like to have already achieved that dream.  Can you see through the eyes of someone who has already arrived?  Get into it.  Play with it.  Become it – if only in your mind.  Now, with that state of mind – what would you do differently in the face of all your current challenges?

Would you find ways to minimize the time you spend on trivial things so that you could pour more of yourself into what really matters?

Would you show up differently in those meetings, projects and tasks?

Would you get started on that project/venture/creation that has been quietly and persistently beckoning to you?

Would you bring more of yourself to what you are doing?

Connect more deeply with others?

Be more present?

Could you find a way to transform your conflicts into opportunities for collaboration?

Albert Einstein once said “Problems cannot be solved from the same level of thinking from which they were created.”  We can elevate our thinking to break out of patterns that keep us from getting where we most want to go.  We can see through the eyes of someone who has already fulfilled their greatest potential, and experience our current tasks and challenges as though we were reliving the memory of the days before we achieved it.  Perhaps the very things we wish we didn’t have to do today are exactly what we need to prepare ourselves for where we most want to go.

Whether I like it or not, my kids are video game fanatics.  They know that to get to level 10 of their favorite adventures, they must successfully complete levels 1 through 9.  When they are able to progress through those lower levels with the skills and mindsets of the master, they will achieve their goal.  And then they’ll be ready for newer, more difficult and increasingly exciting video games.  Perhaps the same is true for each of us in the bigger game of work and life.

What will you do today to play more fully?

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.  Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land.  There is no other land, there is no other life but this.”  ~ Henry David Thoreau

Photo Credit: papaija2008

“The Niche of No” is a Candy Land to young entrepreneurs, because they are familiar with older authority figures telling them “no”. They are practiced at still believing in the possibilities when constrained by someone else’s negative opinion.

Having opposition and controversy around an idea usually means it has the potential to be a turning point or bridge toward a new enlightenment. Hearing the word “no” repeatedly and bouncing back is the norm for young people, and they should use that negativity-immunity in the marketplace.

As people age great numbers start to doubt their own ideas more and more.  When they hear the word “no” they start to believe more in the critic and less in themselves.  Young people innately challenge the word “no” and the status quo. This is a business advantage.

“The Niche of No” is the business version of the land of misfit toys. This is a place for crazy, wonderful business ideas. Some are horribly unprofitable, but they are all valued for their uniqueness.  It is where being off-the-wall is the norm, and unbridled collaboration is free to roam the plains in glorious majesty.

“The Niche of No” is a zone that produces many of the catalysts to the next new product category, the next new manufacturing approach, the next new distribution chain model. This is a place young entrepreneurs should inhabit with celebration and confidence, because this is where their youth is a gigantic business buffer. It is a protection from the vulnerability of doubt and learned resistance that is common to older folks when exploring creative new solutions and ideas. This vulnerability of the aged set is that they tend to visit the “Land of Doubt” when told no.

Imagine a world full of puffy, spongy, billowy trampoline clouds that help defeated ideas and businesses bounce back from failures and nos and critics. Then imagine the victories and triumphs that can be gained in business by embracing “The Niche of No” as a powerful tool in the youthful perspective.  Forget the “Land of Doubt”. Let the defeated and bitter operate there. Or better yet, send a convoy from “The Niche of No” to rescue them.

Either way, young entrepreneurs can use nos to their advantage, and they should. Remember, in the land of misfit toys Hermie actually did become a dentist after everyone told him it was craziness to think he could.

Photo Credit: steveritchie

Christina first picked up a camera at age 9 and fell in love with photography instantly. She remained devoted to it through school, majored in photography in college, and became a photographer’s assistant in the world of high fashion, working on shoots with elite supermodels such as Heidi Klum, Giselle and Cindy Crawford.

Six years later and still in the fashion industry, the death of Christina’s beloved grandmother brought her a wake-up call: she’d never really grieved the loss of her brother at age 13, and the grief was now surfacing. She was thrown into her own dark night of the soul, and started on an in-depth healing journey that led to an entirely different phase of her career.

Christina literally walked away from photography, moved herself from New York to L.A., and started to study cranio-sacral therapy followed by other healing arts, including polarity therapy, massage, shamanism and Reiki. During that time, she also discovered expressive arts like ecstatic dance and performance art improv:

I was total hippie healer girl…I was combining the healing arts with the expressive arts, and leading workshops, and I felt like I was creating something that was my own body of work, which was amazing. However, there was a big problem – I wasn’t making any money.

What happened for me – my turning point was reading an article that said ‘Let’s look at this: the balance of wealth and power in the world is in the hands of people who don’t care very much. Now what would happen if the balance of wealth and power in the world were in the hands of people who do care?’ That moment just woke something up for me. I was like “I say I’m here to change the world, but I’m not going to do a very good job house-sitting and making $600 a month.” At that point, I knew it was time to shift something.

Christina started studying online business structures and marketing, and made the investment in a business coach who could help her create the transformation she was seeking:

With the help of my mentor, we looked at it. I couldn’t figure out (how to combine) fashion photographer, healing artist, workshop facilitator, essential oil lover, ritual lover – all of that. I had no idea how it went together, and that’s why you need an outside eye, right? Because with her help, it was like “Right, let’s look at this: I know how to set up sacred space and really draw out someone’s essence and open up the energy. Well, now what if I photograph them?” And so I had launched my business combining the transformation work with the photography, photographing women entrepreneurs and helping them to embody the heart and soul of their brand.

It was this really interesting process. Now it didn’t happen overnight, of course, because I kind of had to integrate my old “fashion” self with my current “hippie” self internally so I could pull it off. But what was cool was that I was basically launching a very unique business. There’s not a lot of other people out there mixing those two together so I didn’t have a ton of competition.

This is the pathway, so now when I say ‘I help women entrepreneurs bring together all their gifts to help create careers that don’t exist yet,’ people respond like crazy to that. They’re like “Oh my God, that’s me!” And so I think there are a lot of us out there who know we’re supposed to make our own path, and it’s not supposed to fit in any box. And those are the people that I’m here to help because there is something correct about the niching concept. You are meant to choose one thing, I do believe that. I’m not necessarily a believer in the whole renaissance thing because that’s a disbursement of energy if you’re doing many things.

But there’s another option that they don’t talk about, and that’s taking all the many things and turning them into one. And that’s an alchemy of the highest order, I believe. That’s what I help my clients do. And then the next step is you’ve got to tie into where does it intersect with problems people are investing in (solving) in the marketplace.

Yes, Christina!  I have found a similar thing on my own journey, that the twists and turns on the path of your life all have a purpose and a reason that can and do eventually converge, if you look for the way. There is nothing wasted, kind of like Steve Jobs dropping out of college and taking a calligraphy course purely out of interest, and integrating that learning into the typography installed into all Apple computers starting a decade later, a significant influence that continues to this day.

You can listen to my entire interview with Christina here, where you can hear more about her story including how she went from earning $600 per month in 2008 to earning an average of $15,000 per month in 2011, only 2 years after launching her business, how she financed the investment in her mentor, and how, for her, creating your own business is the best personal development program on the planet.

You can check out before and after photos of Christina’s transformational work with clients here, and learn about her latest program for how to combine your passions and create Your Ecstatic Brand here.

The bottom line is don’t limit yourself! You can create and express all of who you are and what truly matters to you. That starts with believing it’s possible for you too.

Although these questions may not seem to have much in the way of relevance to the project at hand, you’ll be glad you asked them, as the answers can give you an indication of whether or not you’re working with a true professional.

1. What Industry Websites, Blogs or Magazines Do You Read Regularly?

This question may not seem like something that would be remotely interesting to you – but the designer’s answer should show that they stay updated on the latest trends, tools, software and techniques that make their job possible.  In my case, I read Website Magazine, KISSmetrics blog, CrazyEgg, Copyblogger and Unbounce (and also write for many of them) so that I can stay informed on strategies that are important to my business.  If it has to do with conversion-focused design, copywriting and landing page optimization – I want to know about it.

2. Name Three Websites You Admire and Why?

These answers could run the gamut from simple “zen-like” sites to Flash-laden interactive games and nearly any answer would be correct – depending on what you’re looking for in your own site.  Here again, I prefer sites which have a focus on growth – growing their subscriber base, customer relationships, orders – anything that turns a browser into a buyer.

I admire sites that start out small with one great idea, and end up somehow changing the way we live and work.  Currently, Pinterest is the site getting all the attention, but I also stay in the loop via places like TechCrunch and Mashable for technology-related business “sprouts” that could be the next big thing.

3. How do You Plan for the Growth of the Websites You Build?

This question is vital simply because some web designers simply don’t think that far ahead – and it can be crucial to your business to be able to weed them out.  Although no one knows what kind of technologies the future holds (could any of us honestly say in 1997 that websites on cell phones would be commonplace in the future?), being able to plan with a company’s future website growth in mind will help ensure that your pages are built using strong technical and community foundations.

For instance, WordPress is one such tool that blossomed from a blogging platform to a full-blown content management system.  What used to be something “just for bloggers” has reached out into ecommerce, social networking, mobile commerce and many other facets of the web.

4. How Will Your Design Work Help Me Reach My Goals?

Your website should have several goals – whether it’s for next month, next year, and/or five years from now.  And your web designer will likely play an intrinsic role in making sure you reach those goals.  They should be able to help you brainstorm accurate goals for not just launching the website or business, but also meeting specific sales or growth targets as well – such as:

• A 30% increase in email subscribers within six months
• A reduction in a website’s “bounce rate” by 10% in 30 days
• A 25% increase in revenue from e-commerce sales during the holiday season

The right website goals have a number and a timeframe in mind – as well as a path that outlines the individual steps to help you get there within said timeframe.  While it’s entirely possible that you won’t hit all of your goals, you should at least make measurable growth in some areas, and learn from your mistakes in others.

A qualified designer can help you set up what are called “Conversion Goals” in metrics programs like Google Analytics (which is free) to help you see where prospects may be falling through the virtual cracks.

These are just a few of the many questions you can (and should) ask your web designer before you begin to work with them.  A pretty portfolio is one thing, but the ability to get results for customers can mean quite a bit more for your bottom line.

Photo Credit: daveknapik

One of the interesting things about following the primaries is watching the political pundits. Two things have been consistent throughout:

1. The pundits present their ideas as though they are facts, or at least inevitabilities: (“Romney will win”, “Gingrich is finished”, “Gingrich will win”).
2. The pundits are consistently wrong.

This year’s primaries have been striking because the conventional wisdom of the pundits has changed so dramatically.

A few examples:

• The pundits considered Governors Tim Pawlenty and Rick Perry formidable, top-tier candidates. Until…Pawlenty and Perry were two of the first candidates to drop out of the race.
• Last summer, the pundits said that the Gingrich’s campaign was over. Now he is one of the final four candidates left standing.
• After the New Hampshire primary, the pundits said that Romney was the inevitable winner, and that he could even finish off the race by February. Now Romney is struggling in the polls against Rick Santorum (a candidate that the pundits considered an also-ran).

In short, no one knows what is going to happen.

The conventional wisdom that surrounds the Republican primaries is an interesting lens through which to look at the world. We are constantly bombarded with conventional wisdom. On all topics from fashion to success to money.

I know that when I am in an uncertain situation, I have a tendency to look for the conventional wisdom. The authority figure who knows what she is talking about. To look for the correct answer. The thing is: oftentimes there isn’t one.

Image Credit: DonkeyHotey