Up My Own Ass Comedy

Life in the Fast Lane

katie — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 02:02:34 +0000

So, I had a birthday recently and, since I am rapidly approaching “mid-life,” I needed to commemorate it properly. A lot has transpired in my life recently, specifically a series of decisions made to bring more positivity and to eliminate all that is negative. Something that would serve as a constant reminder that life is [...]

Good News, Tucson!

katie — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:02:50 +0000

Um, thank you? I don’t even really know what this magazine is specifically about, but it poses the question, “What is happening to PASTORS?” I am not sure, but judging by the photo it probably involves a rifle and a clocktower. Not sure if it’s the PASTOR giving or receiving the lead host, but I am intrigued [...]

Sleepy Kitty Kneading Before Snuggles

Editor — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 22:40:24 +0000

I couldn’t think of a proper title for this… Jesus Christ it’s cute… maybe too cute. I love the fact that video cameras are so prevalent so we can capture stuff like this and stick it on YouTube. Related Posts:Sleepy Kitten Falls AsleepSLEEPY KITTY!The Internet is for CatsThe Anti-Snuggie, ShamWow and iPhoneHamster on a Piano (Eating Popcorn)Powered by [...]

Epic Beard Man Explains What Happened on the Bus

Editor — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 16:31:45 +0000

We previously blogged about “Epic Beard Man“, the 60-some-year-old man that beat down a teenager who suckered him on the bus. Re-watching the video you get this sense that EBM is some American Hero who was just trying to get home to feed his cat and take care of some homeless kids, but it look [...]

Tiger Woods Apologized. Can We Be Done Now?

katie — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:57:32 +0000

Not that I think there was any requirement for an apology. It’s none of my business. It’s none of ANYONE’S business. He cheated on his wife and got caught, but why is that national news? This man makes his living by chasing a ball with a stick. Who the hell do we think we are that [...]

Epic Beard Man and the Bus Beat Down

Editor — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 18:58:16 +0000

Life doesn’t always play out this way; some young whipper snapper getting beat down on a bus by an old dude with an epic beard, but sometimes it does and we are so happy when someone has a cell phone to capture it all for us: Related Posts:Epic Beard Man Explains What Happened on the BusTop [...]

Kiss My Ash!

katie — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:30:44 +0000

I grew up Catholic. For the most part, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, except for the part where I had to go to mass at 7:30 every morning before school. Ugh. I get tired and bored just thinking about it. Oh, yeah, and the part where the Catholic church believes that everyone [...]

Crappy Valentine’s Day!

katie — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 06:12:54 +0000

Well, tomorrow’s the big day, folks. Quite possibly the lamest, most high-pressure holiday in existance, created for the sole purpose of making people spend huge sums of money on useless crap to prove their love…or, at the very least, make people feel like complete douchebags. Don’t get me wrong. I am a girl, ergo I like [...]

Sharky, The Pitbull, Has a Bunny (Diabetes Sweetness Warning)

Editor — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:19:25 +0000

For a while now we’ve known certain things about cats, dogs and bunnies. For one, cats can “has bunnies“. It was only today that I ran across texasgirly1979’s videos on YouTube in which her sweet-as-can-be pitbull, Sharky, has all sorts of friends. First there are pre-bedtime kisses: which somehow led to the bunny sleepy on Sharky’s head: I’m [...]

Goodwill Hunting

katie — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 00:43:08 +0000

One of the best parts of thrifting, aside from finding fabulously valuable merchandise that you can flip on Ebay, are the small windows that open, allowing a deliciously voyeuristic glimpse into humanity. Take Cynthia, for example, who probably didn’t even realize that she tucked these important papers into the book she was reading in the [...]

Lifting Weights and Getting Shredded… Beef

Editor — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 17:20:05 +0000

I know it’s suppose to be funny, but the meat-arms look real enough like musculature that it makes me sick to my stomach. Enjoy! Related Posts:I Might Have a Sunburn… or LeprosyRob Zombie’s Tyrannosaurus Rex was made By Men, For Men (or Psychopaths)How Guys Really Visualize Airplane SafetyMy Face, My Beautiful FaceFuck You, Guy…Powered by Contextual [...]

Secret Music Hidden Within the da Vinci’s ‘The Last Supper’

Editor — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:46:15 +0000

Thanks to Marc Chung for sending over a link to a great Cracked article on hidden easter eggs (secrets) in real-life art. One of the easter eggs is supposedly the “hidden musical notes” inside of Lenoardo da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” piece. The claim is that if you overlay a standard 5-bar musical notation graph across the painting, [...]

Inappropriate Comes in All Shapes and Sizes

Editor — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 18:16:59 +0000

When you think of pervert I imagine you almost always picture a guy like the one in the above picture (note the two arrows and what they are pointing at) — some middle-aged guy with a mustache that looks like a creep. Unfortunately it looks like perverts come in all shapes and sizes as evidenced by [...]

Welcome Home, Matthew!

katie — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 06:58:54 +0000

My rant about the state of the universal healthcare initiative is going to have to wait. Today, I am a douchebag. For the past month, I have been lamenting the fact that an entire segment of my neighborhood has had their Christmast lights up…and LIT. Every day we’d drive by and I would say, “Oh, take [...]

Dating 101 – Bedroom Acrobatics

Editor — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 21:31:23 +0000

Did you actually know you could do this? I did not know this could be done, although I’ve been obsessed for years with doing something similar to this — using a partner like a chair while they use YOU like a chair. You have to face each other, and then start to sit down, with your left [...]

Fuck You, Guy…

Editor — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 15:10:24 +0000

You know what… you Walmart loving hobo… fuck you… just fuck you (click to enlarge): Related Posts:North Korean Food Shortage Solved: Giant RabbitsMotivational Poster TuesdayGiant African Land SnailWhatcha Gonna Do When the Bradley Effect Runs Wild on You?Google Suggestion Algorithm Getting More Nefarious?Powered by Contextual Related Posts