Melissa Frey, Kutz Camp Director

Just prior to the start of camp this year, a powerful rainstorm came through Warwick. I was heartbroken the next day upon realizing the scope of the damage – one of our iconic willow trees along Lake Rolyn had cracked in half, branches were strewn around Pagoda Isaac, fractured in pieces too many to count. I couldn’t help wondering at that moment if what I was seeing was a metaphor for how I was feeling. Our tree removal service came to take the rest of the tree down and the pieces away. In my gut, that just felt wrong. The next day, Eddie Emmanuel, our facilities manager of more than 35 years, took me to where the tree had been discarded. We selected a large crosscut section where both the bark and interior wood were visible. It was beautiful and perfect in its own way, and we had it delivered back to camp.

The weekend of July 26-28, more than 160 young alumni joined us at Kutz for the first of our alumni events to honor this space and show gratitude for all that camp has provided us. On Saturday evening, we gave our alumni the opportunity to create their own mezuzah that included wood from that willow. There was such beauty and intentionality in how people chiseled their pieces from the branch and selected the perfect piece of wood for their own mezuzah. Just like our attendees, each mezuzah was unique and extraordinary. We were able to take something that felt broken and create it into something different, meaningful, and even more beautiful – it was a true metaphor.

Camp will continue to live in our hearts, in our homes, and on each of our journeys. I have such profound love and appreciation for Avra Bossov, Evan Traylor, and Sierra Debrow for their leadership in making this weekend exactly what we needed it to be. I am so grateful for and inspired by the remarkable Kutz staff for their ongoing perseverance and passion. And to our event attendees, thank you for showing up. Your magical voices, whole hearts, sweaty hugs, ugly cries, laughs so hard they hurt, and so much love for each other made each moment priceless. My gratitude for the people who continue to make our shared experience so special is beyond measure.

#Kutz365

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Last night, our teen community opened the doors to their future connection to camp. Kutz 365: The Kutz Camp Alumni Network was launched, and our teens will sit at the helm as we move this exciting initiative forward.

NFTY-Southern California Regional President and two-summer participant Fletcher Block said, “We’ve used the term Kutz365 to represent moments outside of camp that reflect what we’ve learned while in camp. Now it’s even broader than that, representing the future for our alumni beyond a physical space, and how we bring what we’ve learned at camp into every single day of the year.” Just like the summer program, this effort will be teen-powered, and the inaugural class of members will take on the responsibility of engaging alumni that span the generations into an interconnected web across the world.

“It’s important that our alumni network reflect many of the core values of our community,” said Block. Some of these teachings include ‘the only people who are not welcome here are people who make other people feel unwelcome here’, that ‘every person’s presence adds to the community’, being sure that we are ‘listening to people with the same intention that we wish to be heard’, and the resonant teachings of HaSefer Boo, which has been part of our community for more than a decade.

We encourage all Kutz alumni to complete our brief online registration form. The data collected here will be used to keep alumni connected and informed. Just like at camp, we want all our alumni to have the opportunity to shine. Kutz365 will be the way we stay connected throughout the year, celebrate our achievements, and find meaningful ways to reconnect.

Fletcher Block is president of NFTY’s Southern California Region, and congregant at Temple Solel in Cardiff by the Sea, CA. Melissa Frey is the director of the URJ Kutz Camp.

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Who’s familiar with the show Wicked?

What if I were to tell you that the story of Wicked was based on the Torah.

I would be lying of course. I mean, maybe elements of it reflect Jewish values, but I really don’t think it’s based on any biblical story. At least, not intentionally.

Wicked tells the origin story of the Wicked Witch of the West from the classic story “the Wizard of Oz.”  The show follows this witch, Elphaba, from birth to college, and through the events that lead to her being labeled as a wicked witch. In it we see her as a friend to Glinda (the “Good Witch”) and a political activist hoping to do good in Oz. If we just watched or read the Wizard of Oz, we would only see Elphaba as an evil character. Wicked tells another story, providing context for Elphaba’s decisions and showing the humanity and kindness that originally influenced her life. There are two sides to every story.

This week’s parsha, Shelach, discusses the Israelite spies that were sent to the land of Canaan to scope out the land. They went in, observed, stole some grapes, and returned to the Israelite camp. In their report, 10 of the spies claim the land is dangerous – it’s inhabited by giants who would destroy the Israelites immediately with their strength and great power. Two spies speak against this and claim that the people should maintain faith and believe that God will allow them to enter the land in peace and with safety. But, as Jews do, the Israelites only heard the bad news and went totally hysterical, fearing the land and losing faith that they should enter. But that’s only one side of the story.

Who knows what Haftarah is? You likely read it at your bar or bat mitzvah, maybe some of you knew why, maybe lots of you didn’t. I have never heard Haftarah read anywhere outside of synagogue. Never at camp, never at NFTY, which kind of sucks.

The Haftarah is a portion of the second and third books of the Tanach (Neviim and Ketuvim) that is paired thematically with each Torah portion. The Haftarah provides a really nice addition to the weekly parsha. Instead of just reading one story, we are given the opportunity to study another story that relates to it, therefore learning more about the theme and the lessons shared. Sometimes the connection between Torah and Haftarah is obvious, other times you have to really look for it. This week, it’s beautiful.

This week’s Haftarah, from the book of Joshua, tells the story of the spies from the other side. In it, one of the “giants” that the 10 spies had feared so much, reveals their feelings about the spies. They claim that “all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan have melted away because of you [Israelites]. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt; and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites that were on the other side of the Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom you completely destroyed. And as soon as we heard, our hearts melted.”

Excuse me, the GIANTS were afraid of US??? The spies made such a big deal about how the natives of Canaan would dominate over us, but they had no idea that the “giants” they spoke of were just as scared of them and their God. There are two sides to every story.

We can learn a lot from Shelach, and we can learn a lot from Wicked. We learn there are two sides to every story, and without both sides how can we truly evaluate a situation properly? How can we judge a person with just what we initially see, when there is so much more we don’t know about them? How can we assess and act on a situation with just the information in front of us?

I’ve learned a lot at Kutz and a lot from Melissa Frey. One of my favorite concepts that Melissa teaches is to “Assume Good Will.” When a challenge arises, don’t make assumptions, find out facts. Some evolutionary something has resulted in the human tendency to always think the worst and jump to immediate conclusions. Not only is this unhealthy for us, it can be damaging to other people. We can’t always assume the worst in everybody. There are things happening in their lives that we might not know about and that is prompting them to act a certain way. If we don’t know the whole story, we shouldn’t judge people. Simple as that.

As general people, we should always assume goodwill, but as leaders, it is even more important. We are going to work with people that we don’t like. People are going to let us down, fall through on projects. It will suck, you might want to hate all the people you work with. But just try, don’t make judgements, don’t form hatred, until you know the full story. In fact, it is our responsibility to actively seek out information and stories in order to form a more educated, sensible, and complete opinion.

Who knew that the giants of Canaan would be willing to submit so easily to the Israelites? Moses and the people of Israel could never have known that with just the Spies’ side of the story. We, sitting here at camp, could never have known that without the Haftarah. We can become our best selves with both sides of the story.

In Wicked, Elphaba proclaims, “I’m through accepting limits, because someone says they’re so.” The information we initially see and use to judge so quickly, is a large limit to our leadership abilities. We should be done accepting those limits, we should break those limits. We should look around, look at everything, gather all the information we can, instead of jumping to conclusions. That is what will take us from good leaders, to great leaders and will allow us to defy gravity.

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You’ve probably read the dozens of testimonies about how Kutz Camp turned alumni into better community members, leaders, friends, and Jews. The most beautiful part of Kutz in my eyes– frustratingly overlooked by many in their mournings over camp’s closing — is its long-standing inclusion program for teens on the Autism Spectrum: The Gibush Program. Gibush was a unique program that weaved the active inclusion of teens on the Autism Spectrum into every part of camp life. It wasn’t about creating programs for teens unable to participate in ‘regular’ programming, instead Gibush worked to make Kutz’ programs more accessible to all teens. Thanks to the Gibush program and the staff who prioritized accessibility, actions truly combined with intent to create a kehillah kedoshah (holy community) for our teens of all abilities.

I was a very shy rising sophomore when I first participated in Gibush, then called Mitzvah Corps, in the summer of 2012. At the time, I dabbled in online activist spaces but lacked a full understanding of social issues. Thanks to Mitzvah Corps, I finally spent quality time with the people I had previously cared about in the abstract alone. Together, we made paper-flower bouquets, braided challah, petted zoo animals, argued over who won that last round of connect four, and visited New York City’s Museum of the Moving Image. In the class-based portion of the major, I learned from now-Rabbi Leah Citrin about how to better solve social issues from a humble, policy-based standpoint that prioritizes the people activists work with over the changemakers themselves. Peers at Kutz led me to further question the norms I had previously learned as I began to understand my agency in making the world a better place.

I’ve often heard people say that they’re their happiest, best selves at camp. I am, too. When I’m back home and no longer surrounded by the passion of Kutz’s participants and staff, I often process crises in isolation instead of with community (see, for example, how this blog post was due four months ago). But time and time again, former NFTY leaders pull me back into community when they lead by example. In a turbulent America, NFTY alumni fearlessly protest for Gun Violence Prevention, organize support for Standing Rock, travel to marches for racial justice, hold Israel accountable for its occupation of Palestinian land, stand up for queer justice, and register thousands of people to vote, just to name a few.

Like every organization, though, Kutz wasn’t perfect. It had its in-groups and out-groups; as human as everyone else, campers and staff sometimes acted contrary to the values of Melissa Frey’s guidelines to live by (the famous Ha Sefer Boo). But Kutz is also where the Autistic teen I hung out with last summer played tennis with a group of neurotypical teens who always gave him high fives when he passed them by. Kutz is where Jewish rockstars knew Gibush teens by name, and where one teen performed on stage at a Dan Nichols’ concert and anther recorded his own music in camp’s recording studio. Kutz is where five Gibush graduates worked on staff alongside neurotypical staff members and where one teen bonded so well with the girls in her cabin, that she slept there every night after the first week of camp. And Kutz is where the Gibush counselors bonded over late nights and 7:30 AM meetings and lunches that were beyond overwhelming while laughing the whole way through the summer.

On the eve of opening day 2018, the eight Gibush counselors and our operations director came together to record a video about camp. We filmed a spoof of ‘Where You Are’ from the Moana soundtrack. You can find happiness right here at Kutz/where you are, the chorus sang.
The Gibush counselors and our fifteen teens found happiness at Kutz. We found action. We found a truly holy community that, as perfect and imperfect as any community, dedicated each day to its participants and worked to create generations of new leaders. I am deeply grateful for the love of Kutz’s participants, staff, directors, and donors, like the recently late Marshall Warshauer, who made a community built on inclusion a reality for Kutz.

The good news is that Kutz is not an island isolated from the rest of the Jewish world. Kutz is part of an archipelago of Jewish programming aimed at creating inclusive future leaders. As I balance my disappointment in the decision to close camp with excitement about Kutz’s last summer and the desire to recreate holy communities, I turn back to the knowledge we can find happiness where we are with the right actions. And the actions of our regional boards, who passed legislation to form an advisory board of teens to whom the URJ senior staff can turn, of the hundreds of alumna who speak out in defense of Kutz’s importance, of the former leaders who continue to organize in troubling political times for what’s just, of the teens signing up for Kutz to learn from generations of Jewish leaders who came before them, of  the attempts to find former Gibush teens new, just-as-welcoming summer homes, proves that we’re on the right track.

This summer, I’ll be working at URJ Henry S. Jacobs Camp in Utica, Mississippi, with two of our previous Gibush teens to help bring some of Kutz to the rest of the URJ. This summer, the staff of the URJ Kutz camp will open the gates of 46 Bowen Road for our newest leaders of the Reform movement. Even if down the line, Kutz is no longer the physical home of the Jewish movement, when I think of tomorrow, there we are: working to create kehillah kedoshah hand-in-hand wherever we go. Whether you have the honor of going to Kutz this summer or are creating holy community outside of Warwick, NY, how will you recreate Kutz where you are?

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A year ago, I had no intention of spending four weeks of my summer away from home. When I was younger, I attended overnight camp and absolutely HATED it, and after that experience, I was determined to never spend a summer away from Arizona again. But then, a little less than a year ago, I was elected to become the next president of NFTY Southwest, and everything changed. Hours after my installation, I was sitting next to my predecessor, looking through a binder that had been passed down to regional presidents since 2003, when I came across a letter that changed my life.

“Everyone is the most important person in the world to someone. Treat every person you meet as if they are to you,” said Melissa Frey, director of the Kutz Camp. This past month I attended Kutz: NFTY’s Campus for Reform Jewish Teens. The experience that I had there and the memories that were made will never be forgotten. I spent 26 days in a cabin with 17 other high school guys whom, prior to the first day, I had never met. That first night could not have been more uncomfortable…I was alone on that night and did not have someone to talk to. However, in 26 days, those 17 people went from being strangers to being some of the most important people in the world to me. There isn’t one person in that cabin who I wouldn’t be there for.”

Of course, I had heard about Kutz before, and had even toyed with the idea of going despite my vendetta against overnight camps, until I was offered a summer job. I had had my summer plans laid out for months before my election, but one paragraph into this random letter I knew they had to change. I had feared being alone like this person had been, having no one to talk to, feeling uncomfortable in a new place. But this person clearly got over it, and I figured that I would be able to as well. “In 26 days, those 17 people went from being strangers to being some of the most important people in camp to me.” I wanted to find connections like that, and all of a sudden, it seemed so possible.

“At the Kutz Camp we were given a lot of time to ourselves. This time may have been spent sitting in a pagoda by a beautiful lake and watching the geese chase each other around or sitting in the grass area by the cabin and watching people playing guitar or Frisbee or attempting to tan in the shade. At times I would reflect on the people who have inspired me: the people who inspired me to join NFTY, the people who inspired me to continue my Jewish education following my Bar Mitzvah, and most of all the people who have inspired me to become the person I am today. One day following dinner, I was sitting on a rock looking out at the lake and thinking about the friends I have made and the amazing people I have met at camp. There were only three days left and it hit me. In three days I would have to go back home and leave that place that, when I arrived, everyone greeted me by saying “Welcome Home.” That night I walked back to my cabin with a friend and began crying. I wasn’t ready to go home. I loved being able to sit for a while and think without any interruptions. At camp we had services every day. Everyday during the silent prayer of the Amidah I would walk up along with the rest of the camp to the edge of the Teatron, where services were held, and look out onto a beautiful lake. Those two minutes each day are the most important thing that I will take back from the Kutz experience. Having those two minutes each day taught me that no matter how busy your day is, you only need to take two minutes to yourself to reflect or think or breathe or do whatever it is you need to do for two quiet minutes.”

This camp he described was bliss, it seemed too good to be true and I knew I had to find out for myself. When I got to Kutz, I found that everything he described was true. Each day, I found moments of tranquility, connection, friendship, and reflection. In 26 days, the 12 girls in my cabin went from being strangers to being my best friends. The time spent in the Grove, hammocking in the sun, laughing with friends was euphoric. Being at Kutz was the happiest I have ever been, and I still think about the memories and friends I made there daily, missing it and counting down the days until I can return.

That magic that existed sixteen years ago has transcended the years and is still alive and well this summer. I can’t wait to spend another summer in the most beautiful place in the world, surrounded by inspiring leaders who will change the world – the next generation of Kutz participants. If you know an exceptional teen who would thrive in an immersive Jewish leadership experience, this is the summer to nominate them for Kutz. I hope to spend my summer with your most remarkable teen leaders!

URJ Kutz Camp brings together hundreds of the most passionate Reform Jewish teen leaders from around the world for a summer of leadership development, deep learning, and joyful Judaism. Join us this summer, June 23-July 21, 2019>

Register now!

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This shabbat, in addition to being Shabbat Shuva, the shabbat between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur when we read a special and beautiful haftarah all about repentance and forgiveness, is also one of the last parshiyot of the year, Vayelech. I want to call our attention to one particular line from Vayelech (and there aren’t that many to choose from- at 30 psukim, Vayelech is the shortest parsha in the Torah). Most of the parsha concerns Moses passing on the mantle of leadership to Joshua and instructing the Israelites about Hakhel, the gathering they will undertake every seven years during Sukkot to read the Torah, and warning of how the people will stray after Moses’ death, that God will be angry and forsake them, but that they will have “hashira hazot”, this song, to remind them and serve as a witness.

         However, this week what is really resonating with me the most is the second pasuk of the parsha, Deuteronomy 31:2:

וַיֹּ֣אמֶר אֲלֵהֶ֗ם בֶּן־מֵאָה֩ וְעֶשְׂרִ֨ים שָׁנָ֤ה אָנֹכִי֙ הַיּ֔וֹם לֹא־אוּכַ֥ל ע֖וֹד לָצֵ֣את וְלָב֑וֹא וַֽיהוָה֙ אָמַ֣ר אֵלַ֔י לֹ֥א תַעֲבֹ֖ר אֶת־הַיַּרְדֵּ֥ן הַזֶּֽה׃

And Moses said to them, “Today I am one hundred and twenty years old. I can no longer go or come, and the Lord said to me, “You shall not cross this Jordan.”

I’ve been home in Toronto for a week now, since before Rosh Hashanah, and feel lucky to still have another week and a half at home over the chagim, finally having a chance to relax and catch my breath after an amazing summer at Kutz, meaning  that I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with my family. In particular, I’ve been trying to make as much time as possible to go visit my grandpa, who’s been in the hospital since December, my grandma, who is spending most of her time caring for him, and my Bubby, who now constantly regales us with tales of her exploits in Ubers since she gave up driving last year, finally acknowledging she was getting older (and admitting to herself that frankly, she’s much better at being an Uber passenger, bragging about her 4.85 rating, then she ever was at being a driver). And so, after a summer spent constantly surrounded by so many young, healthy, active teenagers and college students at Kutz, I’ve had to confront again what it means for people who I love so much, who have been such a vital part of my life, to have abilities that they’ve always taken for granted slowly start to fade away. My grandparents,  who once had the complete ability and vitality that Moses did latzet v’lavo, to go and to come, to be active, are now seeing that slowly fall away from them. The transition has been particularly stark with my grandpa, who went through an extremely dramatic shift from being a doctor curing sick patients to now being a patient on the same floor of the hospital where he ran a clinic, confined to bed or a wheelchair as he tries to recover from cancer.

I know how lucky I am to still have three of my grandparents with me, in good enough mental and physical shape that we can spend time together, talk, go out for dinner, and enjoy each others’ company. But, I find myself becoming more and more scared by the reality that this won’t last. No longer living in the same place as them, my visits home are relatively rare, and a part of me is in a constant fear that the moments I get to spend with them are limited. I can’t help but think about what it means when time starts coming to an end, when the years start coming to a close, when the abilities start to fade, when we realize that there are Jordan rivers that won’t be crossed. It’s another version of the feeling I get every summer at Kutz, knowing that we are experiencing something so special that we need to hold on to while we can because the last day will come, the buses will leave, that what we have won’t last forever.

So my hope and my prayer for all of us this Shabbat Shuva, as we continue to repent, to consider our actions, to think about the year that has passed and the year ahead, is that we all are able to grasp on to those 120 years of Moses that we have before we’re no longer able to come and to go. That we make sure we spend those extra moments with our grandparents and all of our loved ones, that we live our lives to the fullest, that we treasure what the Moseses in our lives have brought before their time gives way to the Joshuas that will follow them.

Let us try our best during these aseret y’mai teshuva, these Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, to spend a little less time bemoaning what went wrong and saying sorry for the mistakes we’ve made and a little more time rejoicing in what went right and saying thank you for the gifts we’ve been given. While we have the gift of being able to come and to go, let’s hold tight to what and who we are blessed to have in our lives. And may we reach the day, at the end of our 120 years, when we can pass along our mantle of love and of leadership to the Joshuas that will come after us , secure in the knowledge that we’ve lived good, full lives, that we’ve done our coming and going as we wished while we could, and that we’ve journeyed just a little bit closer to the Promised Land.

Wishing all of our Kutz community and your loved ones a Gmar Chatimah Tovah, and only the happiest, sweetest new year.

Shabbat shalom,

Josh

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Abraham. Cain. The daughters of Tzelafchad. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. All of these people have one thing in common: passion for advocating for and pursuing justice. Cain advocated to God on his own behalf for a more just punishment. Abraham stood up to god in order to prevent the destruction of an entire city. The daughters of Tzelafchad advocated for the right of women to inherit land, for themselves and for future generations. Now, Ruth Bader Ginsburg pursues justice for women across the U.S. The idea of advocating for justice is found in one of our oldest stories, and countless times throughout the Torah. It continues to be a cornerstone of Judaism to this day.

When Tzelafchad, an Israelite man with no sons, died, he had five daughters. At the time, only sons were permitted to inherit land. The five women spoke with Moses about the unfairness of the law. Moses then spoke to God on behalf of the daughters, and God agreed that women should be able to inherit land.

In 2018, an Israeli Jewish man died. At his funeral, his two grieving daughters were told that they were not allowed to stand next to their father’s body while he was being buried, because they were women. Together with the Reform Movement in Israel, the women sued the Rabbinate in the Supreme Court of Israel.

In both stories, the daughters fought for their basic rights. The difference between the two is that in the first story, the rights of the women were realized and the law changed. In the second, women were denied their rights despite existing law that prohibits separating genders at funerals in Israel.

The seemingly simple idea of pursuing justice has influenced many great leaders throughout history, with many of them being Jewish, such as Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. However, many others, such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. weren’t Jewish. Nonetheless, Judaism is a religion that heavily embraces and emphasized social justice. In fact, in Deuteronomy, the fifth book of the Torah, there is the phrase, “tzedek tzedek tirdof,” meaning “justice, justice shall you pursue.” However, that implies that the pursuer of justice is a man, so instead, we should say tzedek tzedek tirdof, tirdefi, v’tirdefu. Justice justice you all shall pursue. Looking back, this small phrase explains so much about many parts of the Torah that people often overlook, seeing them as trivial metaphors. However, a decent amount of these are tales of the pursuit of justice.

We, as Jewish teenagers, participants in the Action and Advocacy immersive at the URJ Kutz Camp, have spent a summer learning how to advocate for equality, organize, and speak truth to power. We know that our voices are strongest when we stand together and speak as one. Now, we have the tools that we need in order to continue the long, arduous journey to pursue social justice. We will not be silent. We need you to do the same: speak out, join with your friends, family, and community in advocacy, and pursue justice. Speak the truth to a higher power, even when it seems like change can never happen. Because if nobody speaks out, it never will. Tzedek, tzedek, tirdof.

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Kutz is my home. I have spent just shy of 10 summers here teaching (and learning) alongside these incredible teens and staff. Two years ago, in partnership with The Jewish Board, UJA-Federation of New York, and a great group of teens I launched a Jewish teen mental health initiative. Our goal is to support mental health, wellbeing, and resilience through learning, connections, and creativity. The program is called Here.Now. and this summer I returned to Kutz as a faculty member to lead programing and work with teens around these sometimes hard to talk about themes.

While not everybody has mental illness, everybody has mental health, and the teens at Kutz understand how important it is to talk and think about themes like resilience and failure and loving who you are. So, for the past week we have worked on four incredible projects together.

The first project was a photo project where we asked teens “if you had a microphone that reached every teen, what would you say?” The teens took photos with their powerful messages  like “you matter” and “even if you feel alone, you are not.” I also worked with a group of teens to create two videos on lending a helping hand and asking for help when you need it, and how you can be two things at once (ex: bad at math and incredible at english or be somebody who both has some anxiety and is a performer).

Finally, on Thursday night we had an all camp program on owning and loving who you are, #OwnIt. We talked about how you can hold struggle and challenges at the same time as loving and having compassion for yourself. The teens were each gifted with a homemade Tallit with the words Kutz #OwnIt 2018 on it and we ended the program at the pool, sitting together, as one community and hearing beautiful remarks from Melissa Frey about how each person at the pool adds something so incredibly needed to this world and community. It was a powerful program and the smiles on the teens faces and seeing them embrace each other will stay with me for a long time to come.

We think these projects are incredibly powerful and can’t wait to share them with you and with other teens and Jewish communities!

Kutz is a magical place where teens come ready to learn, partner with adults, push themselves, and grapple with hard questions and themes. That’s the reason that I count down the days every year to join my Kutz family. It’s good to be home.

Feel free to follow Here.Now. through out website www.ProjectHereNow.org and through social media at @projectHereNow on Facebook and Twitter and Project.Here.Now on Instagram.

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A year ago this evening, I stood before our camp community, and offered the commencement address at our Failure Graduation. It opened with this line from Proverbs, “A righteous person falls down seven times, and then, gets up.” That night I shared my own narrative around failure, and how those experiences helped to make me into the person I am today. My remarks concluded with the following charge:

You are hereby authorized to screw up, bomb, or fail at one or more relationships, friendships, texts, exams, social media interactions, presentations, interviews, auditions, diets, extracurriculars, resolutions, or any other choices associated with life … and still be a totally worthy, utterly excellent, human being.

All these words I still hold to be true. And in reflecting on that program over the year, I’ve also come to realize that each time we fail is as important as every time we thrive. That challenges stretch us, and opportunities help us grow. That moving out of our comfort zone helps open a world of wonder and magic we likely couldn’t have imagined if we simply stayed put.

Perhaps most of all, as we navigate through each day – the twists and turns, the delights and fears, relationships, school, work, life, friends and family, through laughter and tears, in joy and in sorrow, every moment of every day is a gift. And, each experience we have is unique in the world because we are in it. Your experiences would not have been the same if you were not there. This would not have been the same if you were not here. I want you to think about owning this moment. Because it’s uniquely yours, and ours.

When we think about ownership, it’s often about possessions. I’d like to suggest we pivot and think about owning who we each are. It’s the journey we are each on that creates the narrative of our own lives. We make choices – some are good, some not so much. Regardless, we should own them. We engage in all kinds of relationships, and sometimes they fail. Growth comes from owning our part and learning from it. Sometimes we do things that make us in retrospect think, “why in the world did I do that”? Owning it builds character.

For years I have shared with our staff one of my core beliefs.

“Every person is the most important person in the world to someone. Maybe they know it, maybe they don’t. Treat each person with the highest levels of respect always. You never know when the next person you meet may become the most important person in the world to you.”

I do believe that statement to be true. And, I realize that this statement is about how we treat other people. I’m not so sure that I treat myself with that level of thoughtfulness, intentionality, inclusion, and love. Why is it that we are better at taking care of each other than we are taking care of ourselves? ‘Owning it’ is all about our relationship with our self. Perhaps the hardest thing to internalize, recognize, and actualize is knowing that who I am, who we are, in each moment, is exactly who we need.

I travel a lot for camp in the off-season. Last fall, on a flight to Israel, I watched and fell in love with the movie “The Shape of Water.” There is a quote at the end of the movie that deeply resonated with me.

“Unable to perceive the shape of you, I find you all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with your love, it humbles my heart, for you are everywhere.”

While the quote is about a love story between a human and an amphibious creature, these words resonate with me about the relationship between camp, and the humans who breathe life into it every summer. I live here during the year and watching the seasons change is breathtakingly beautiful. When we close the property around Thanksgiving, when the leaves fall from the trees, and sunshine is replaced with snowflakes, it’s quiet, serene, and tranquil. And, it’s just a physical space.

And that is when I feel you everywhere, all around me. I walk through the Beit Am and Arts Center and think about the programs that were inspiring and where you were able to shine. I hear your Shabbat evening Shir Hamalot and Birkat Hamazon and remind myself that it’s the only thing that sounds good in that dining hall. When I go to feed the turtles, I see you praying at the edge of Lake Rolyn, and know that while for some, daily tefilah here is a lot, that you would give anything to have one more moment in the Tron during the silent Amidah. I think about the passion that you brought to Jewish learning, and the pride I know you carried home from this sacred place. I’m able to look back at the lighter side of meetings in my office, trips to the emergency room, and my shpilkies about Trip Day. I think about your smiles, and your tears, and your kisses in the grove, and your pictures on Shabbat. And I think to myself, I hope they each know how important they are. I hope they know how much they are loved for exactly who they are.

Life can be really hard. We all have self-doubt. We all fail. We all make bad choices. We also each contribute to creating a more just and compassionate world. We share the best of ourselves with one another. And we strive to be the best versions of ourselves. And all these pieces happen when we own our journey – every aspect of it – the good and the bad, the joy and the grief, the smiles and the tears. It works when we own it.

So my blessing for each of us tonight is this –

Own It.

For the times I totally mess up, get it wrong, or miss the mark,
Ani lo-kachat ach-rayut. I take responsibility.

For the moments I feel that I don’t belong in my own skin…
Ani nivra’a b’tzelem Elohim. I am created in the image of God.

For the days I feel broken, and wonder how the pieces will ever fit back together…
Ani shlemah. I am whole.

For the nights I look up at the stars and question my own place in the universe….
Ani sha-yechet. I belong.

For the moments of self-doubt, self-deprecation, or self-harm,
Ani re-u-yah. I am worthy.

For the roles and titles I have inherited and chosen…
Tzrichim oti. I am needed.

For all of my accomplishments and times I paved the way for others,
Ani asi-ti et zeh. I did this.

For the people I have chosen to surround myself with,
Ani m’vorachat. I am blessed.

For all of the goodness and all of the blessings,
Ani re-u-yah l’zeh. I deserve this.

For all I am, for all that I have ever been, for who I am in this moment, and who I strive to be,
Kabalah atzmit. I own it.

Amen.

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