Growing up immersed in a Jewish lifestyle, prayers and well-wishes were always the norm. In every conversation I heard in temple or in my house as a little girl—and believe me, there were quite a few—they had something to do with stating that they were in someone’s thoughts, that they were important, that their ideas or opinions mattered.

NFTY brought forth that concept that had been so ingrained in my Jewish identity—the idea of wishing well for others—and transformed it. You see, through programs, mixers, Torah studies and just socializing with other NFTYites, I realized that words only get people so far. The “well-wishes” are only meaningful if there are actions accompanied with them.

NFTY taught me, since my very first event, that if I want to see change happen, I have to make it happen. I can long for the change I wish to see, but if I am not willing to put myself out there and be that change, then my wishes just go to waste.

This lesson has directly let me to joining the organizations I work with today, one of which being the Alliance for a Healthier Generation, an organization that was created by the Clinton Foundation and the American Heart Association. I am a part of their Youth Advisory Board, a group of 21 people ages 8-18 throughout America who want to put their dreams into action and transform their communities into healthier places. All of us have our own dreams, our own visions for the places we live, but we all share one common basis—the passion for putting ourselves out there and making a difference. I am not aware how my other board members cultivated this passion, but I know that for myself, NFTY is what created this life meaning and goal for me. I am blessed to have been able to make an impact with this organization, and I know that I was able to do so because of the lessons NFTY has taught me.

It’s funny, because when you think of a Jewish teen organization, you never think what someone would learn there would impact the health of citizens in Henderson, Nevada. And the best part is, it’s creating so much more. Every person who goes into a NFTY event, be it in Florida, Phoenix or LA, has been changed by something they’ve learned. It goes past the programs, the social action projects or even the services—it’s the personalities they unfold, the memories that change them, the ability to be themselves that allow them to open up and find who they really are.

The impacts from NFTY don’t just occur at events; they occur when you get home. They appear when you reach out and make a new friend because you know the real value of friendship. They appear when you join a club or organization because you’ve realized how important philanthropy is. They appear when you are able to reach out and change your school, community, state or even world, because you now have the confidence in yourself to know that it is possible.

If I have learned anything to be undeniably true, it is that every NFTYite changes the lives of others. Every NFTYite is important. Every NFTYite makes an impact, no matter the size, that changes the lives of the people around them to be better.

As when I was young, I am still very involved in my temple, and I still hear people talk to each other quite often. But unlike when I was little, when I hear these well-wishes from people at synagogue or at NFTY, I also hear something else hidden between the words—a promise. It’s a promise to act, a promise to care and it’s truly a promise to not just hope for the well being of those people, but to be in active part in making sure that promise comes true.

By SaraAnn Stanway, NFTY-GER Southern Recruitment Vice President

When I first began attending NFTY-GER events, I was told time and again that it was a transformative leadership experience, and that anyone could be part of making GER the best it could be. Like most of my friends, I was eager to launch into new friendships and didn’t pay too much attention; I figured that leadership and making changes were up to Regional Board, and that even if I had found something that could be improved, it wasn’t my place. It’s only been a year, but since then, the amazing leaders of GER have inspired a total turnaround in my attitude.

Several months ago, I thought it might be fun to get together with a few other RCVPs in GER to talk about our jobs, goals, and TYGs. Worried about overstepping, I asked Pam what she thought about it – and there I learned that this amazing region absolutely makes good on its promise to encourage leadership and consider the ideas of even general members; so many people, board and non-board, helped create the first RCVParty, and this past weekend, after lots of planning and excitement, the event finally came.

I’ll be honest; it didn’t go quite as expected – but then again, what does? The programs and discussions we’d planned took on different directions and there was a bit of awkwardness in leading it with my friends; after all, we didn’t know how to run an event by ourselves and the whole experience was definitely strange! I may have ended up with a face full of glitter at one point, but in the end, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We had a great time talking about our TYG leadership experiences, discussing the future, and just hanging out and enjoying NFTY buddies. Learning to feel comfortable proposing my ideas, asking for help, and taking action was, just as I was promised at New Member Kallah a year ago, a transformative leadership experience, and I’m so grateful to all the GER giants who helped – here’s to looking forward to more!

By Amanda Wachstein, NFTY-PAR Advisor

Rosanne Selfon (my mom, also known as Bubbio), Mila and me

The best gifts in the world are the people in our lives and the moments we share together, especially when those people are our mothers, the women who have made us strong, resilient and loving. These women come in all shapes and sizes; they speak different languages; they work both in and outside the home; they chauffeur and clean and cook and do endless laundry. They are elegant and fun, all at the same time. Our moms impact our world, far and near, in different ways.

We can name famous mothers such as Sarah and Leah, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama, or Madonna. These remarkable, very different women are or were leaders and visionaries who will long be remembered. However, I believe that each of our own mothers has made a lasting influence, albeit in circles closer to our homes.  This Sunday, Mother’s Day, offers each of us an opportunity to acknowledge our incredible moms.  When was the last time you told your Mom how much you appreciate her? I know, from first-hand experience, that a mother’s love is unconditional and enduring. She nurtures, feeds, clothes, teaches, supports, encourages and gives all that she can.

I grew up in an average-sized family with two parents, two daughters and a dog. Females dominated our home. My Dad didn’t stand a chance – he learned, very early, to put the toilet seat down! He scared our dates but later shopped for wedding gowns. His world included fashion, cheerleading, and dealing with endless teenaged drama. Somehow, he gave us all the love and support we ever needed, despite the house being endlessly filled with so many girls with all their moods!

My maternal grandmother, Gangy, launched our family of strong-minded females. We speak our minds and believe in ourselves. Ours is not a family where females sit back and allow life to float by. Rather, we learned to take the bull by the horns, make our way, and enjoy the ride. My mom expanded Gangy’s legacy. I truly have the most remarkable mom in the world; I will go as far as saying, I have the best mom in the world but I hope most people feel as I do.

My mom taught my sister Lysa and me to always believe in ourselves, to love deeply, to laugh a lot, to always try our best, to work hard, to be polite but speak up, to not dwell in the past, to brush ourselves off and learn from mistakes, to try new things, to make learning lifelong, to give to others, to eat chocolate on bad days, and to remember that tomorrow always brings a new day.

Both my parents, but especially my Mom, instilled the Reform Jewish values I practice daily. L’Dor V’dor…they are the same values that my husband Ben and I share with our five year-old daughter Mila. Celebrating holidays with family and friends, caring about the environment, respecting all human beings, doing mitzvot, and on and on…these are values I learned from my Mom.

NFTY-PAR Spring Kallah 2013 Banquet with the females from New Board/Old Board and Mila

One could say that I have been a ‘pseudo-mom’ for the past twelve years while serving as the NFTY-PAR Advisor. Other than motherhood, being a NFTY Advisor is my life’s passion. The work that I do in NFTY is life affirming, intentional and extremely rewarding. Having the opportunity to mentor, guide and shape our teens who will lead the next Reform Jewish generation is humbling. Every four years, I have the privilege of witnessing a new NFTY generation enter our sacred kehillah and begin a transformation which concludes four years later when each graduating NFTYite stands confident, knowledgeable and passionate about being a Jew. This sometimes seems like a miracle, and it is always awesome to see! So much of what I give to NFTY comes originally from the values my Mom imparted to me.

As we celebrate Mother’s Day and all our mothers, we cannot overlook the birth of NFTY by its founders, the National Federation of Temple Sisterhoods, today named Women of Reform Judaism (WRJ). Since WRJ sought and fought to create a Reform Jewish youth movement in 1939 through to today, WRJ has supported NFTY both financially and with hands-on support. Just this year, WRJ gave thousands of dollars to support the Campaign for Youth Engagement.  WRJ sponsored the Dan Nichols Concert at the NFTY Convention. Without thousands of dollars in supportive scholarships given by local sisterhoods, many of our teens would never participate in the many NFTY programs we offer.

During this historic Centennial celebration, we at NFTY congratulate and honor WRJ. Its Centennial logo says inspired by its past…committed to the future. WRJ lives these words every day. This remarkable 100^th birthday is a testament to what passion, diligence and determination can create. On this Mother’s Day, let us honor and thank every woman in our congregations, Women of Reform Judaism.

Celebration, in part, honors an individual or marks a rite of passage. But at its hearts, a celebration also pays tribute to something larger than ourselves – our connection to community, to shared life experiences, and to love. Many good wishes to everyone this Sunday as you celebrate with your moms, sisters, grandmas, bubbies, gangys and bubbios. Remember to show how much you appreciate their love and all they mean to you.  Happy Mother’s Day to all of our incredible mothers!!

Originally posted on the Religious Action Center Blog

I recently had the opportunity to travel to Washington D.C. where I attended the Religious Action Center’s flagship policy conference, Consultation on Conscience.  I spent four days listening to inspiring speakers, having meaningful discussions, and learning more than I ever thought possible. While reflecting on this incredible conference, I realized that there are three Hebrew phrases that can aid me in sharing my experiences: Tzedek Tzedek Tirdof (Justice, justice you shall pursue), L’dor Vador (From generation to generation), and im tirtzu, ein zo agada  (If you will it, then it is no dream.)

Tzedek Tzedek Tirdof:  Justice, justice you shall pursue

Prior to attending the Consultation on Conscience, I knew that the Jewish community values the pursuit of justice. However, being surrounded by hundreds of motivated members of our movement helped me understand just how deeply rooted the idea of social justice is in our faith.  I loved seeing how passionate everyone became when they were inspired by a particular speaker. Because there were so many fantastic speakers, we all became more and more inspired with each one. Sunday night, we began the Consultation with U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice. She discussed her support for Israel and the Jewish community, as well as the idea behind the word Heneini, “here we are.”  She explained how we are all gathered as one to answer the call of justice. On Monday, we heard from a variety of speakers. However, the most inspiring for me was Naomi Natale, the founder of One Million Bones. This project was started in order to raise awareness about genocide. Through Natale’s program, one million clay bones are being made and will be displayed on the National Mall to draw attention to the victims of genocides worldwide and give them the recognition that they deserve. Tuesday, we all went to the Cannon Caucus Room on Capitol Hill and had the opportunity to hear from Members of Congress. We heard from Representative Chris Van Hollen, Representative Joseph Kennedy III, and Representative Henry Waxman, just to name a few. After each member spoke, there was time for questions. During this time, I saw members of our community articulate their deep passion about specific issues in conversation with their representatives who are fighting for justice for all Americans each and every day.

As the only NFTY representative at Consultation, I was given the opportunity to attend the Commission on Social Action meetings. The Commission on Social Action consists of members from throughout North America who help decide the official position that the URJ and the Central Conference of American Rabbis take on controversial issues. While at these meetings, I was able to chat with some of the members. While talking to them, I realized that these are some of the most passionate, dedicated people that I have ever met. They are all so dedicated to the Reform Movement and to the pursuit of justice in their communities and throughout the world. During these meetings, it was decided that there are two resolutions that may be appearing at Biennial in December. The first is a resolution to form a position on hydrofracturing (fracking) and the second is regarding employers providing paid sick leave for their employees.  Both resolutions have values that are rooted in the Jewish faith and I am excited to see if they pass at Biennial!

The Religious Action Center itself completely embodies the idea of tzedek, tzedek, tirdof. While hearing the RAC staff give updates, I was reminded of the amount of work they do each day to pursue justice. Throughout the year they advocate for 70+ issues by speaking with staff members on Capitol Hill, engaging congregations in their work, and mobilizing Jews all over North America. They recently raised $800,000 dollars for Hurricane Sandy relief.  In addition, they have been working on expanding their involvement in campaigns for Nothing but Nets (which donates mosquito nets to African villages), Gift of Life (which saves lives by registering Jews for the universal bone marrow registry), and organizing interfaith “call-in days” to Members of Congress advocating for gun violence prevention legislation. These endeavors are just a few examples of the inspiring work the RAC does to pursue justice.

L’dor Vador: From Generation to Generation

When I found out I would be attending Consultation on Conscience, I anticipated that the most powerful, inspirational moments would come from listening to the speakers. While I did learn a great deal from the speakers, I also gained so much from the interactions I had with the adults in attendance.  Being the only student at the conference gave me the opportunity to meet and have conversations with many interesting adults.  I heard the most amazing stories! I heard first-hand about Rabbi Israel Dresner’s important work during the Civil Rights Movement, Judge David Davidson’s dedication to the Religious Action Center and the Commission on Social Action, and Ms. Judith Hertz’s involvement in the WRJ and URJ, just to name a few. Before hearing their stories, I knew very little about the structure and inner workings of the URJ. However, through these conversations, they all passed down a piece of their knowledge to me, the next generation. Also, I developed a much greater sense of what being a Reform Jew means. To me, personally, it means being dedicated to the movement, keeping faith, holding my head high, and most importantly, having a belief in justice.

In NFTY, we love the saying “Generational Leadership.” Having served as the Social Action Vice President at the local and regional levels for three years, my position has come to mean a lot to me.  I recently passed down my Social Action leadership position as I prepare for the next stage in my life. As the youngest person in attendance at the Consultation on Conscience, I got a little taste of generational leadership on the larger URJ stage. During a meeting on fracking, everyone introduced themselves and stated whether they had ever been a committee chairperson. I would estimate that 1/3 of the people had served in a leadership role. I love seeing that the leadership positions have been passed between people. Because of this, many people have been able to share their passion and have the opportunity to impact the reform movement and the world. I can only hope that one day, I will be part of that line of leaders.

Im tirtzu, ein zo agada: If you will it, then it is no dream.

If there is one thing from this experience that I want to walk away with, it is that anything is possible. The work done by the Religious Action Center, the Commission on Social Action, and everyone in attendance at the Consultation on Conscience is a perfect example of people “willing change” and making it happen. Whether it is calling a member of congress, sending a malaria net to a village in Africa, or lending a hand to someone in financial trouble, the Reform Movement is perpetually willing change to happen in the world. From what I experienced, I now strongly believe in the power of our movement. I know that if we work together to will that change, justice will no longer be a dream.

Earlier this week, I heard a part of the Torah portion Emor which describes who is qualified to make an offering to God.  The part that caught my attention is as follows…

Leviticus 21:16-21:  The Lord spoke further to Moses:   Speak to Aaron and say: No man of your offspring throughout the ages who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the food of his God.  No one at all who has a defect shall be qualified: no man who is blind, or lame, or has a limb too short or too long; no man who has a broken leg or a broken arm; or who is a hunchback, or a dwarf, or who has a growth in his eye, or who has a boil-scar, or scurvy…  No man among the offspring of Aaron the priest who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the Lord’s offering by fire; having a defect, he shall not be qualified to offer the food of his God.

This was followed up with an interpretation that was posted by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat on her blog:  The Velveteen Rabbi:

“I think of the generations who have read and cherished this text, and I imagine how many of them were halt or lame, how many had spines twisted or lungs sickly, and I wonder what reading this passage meant for them, how it damaged their sense of who they might be. I remember the cruelty of eleven-year-old girls, confronted with a classmate who had a foreshortened limb, and how their barbs sting even now, so many years after their insults were lofted in the chalky classroom air. “

In hearing this interpretation, I couldn’t help but reflect on how NFTY-PAR teens view each other at NFTY events.  One of the things that I cherish most about NFTY is that everyone who wants to be accepted is accepted for who they are – without regard to their wounds, blemishes, or imperfections.  NFTY teens come in all shapes and sizes, with every possible orientation of spirit, political belief, family background, and sexuality.   NFTY teens bring with them all of their wounds and defects – whether based on birth, a physical injury, or a mental torment.  Yet despite these defects, all of them are perfect in the eyes of at least one other NFTY-PARite.

It is both beautiful and spiritual to be in an environment where anyone can be a leader, or create a program, or inspire others, or run for an elected position – because they are in an environment where each and every teen can be perfect when viewed with the right lens.

Recently, NFTY-PAR ended the year with Spring Kallah at Camp Harlam.  At the Friendship Circle on Sunday morning, I looked around the room, and everyone had someone with which to share the final, bittersweet moments of the event.  Everyone had someone to hug or to hug them.  Everyone saw someone as being perfect, or was seen as being perfect by someone else.

In a world that is often difficult to navigate, hard to understand, and sometimes downright cruel, I find it comforting that NFTY teens can all recognize that they have the potential to be perfect, and when seen in that light, are all worthy to make an offering to God.

By Allison K., NFTY-TOR Parent

Allison recently wrote this letter to her daughter, Logan. Allison’s daughter is a freshman in NFTY-TOR, the same region she grew up in over 25 years ago. 

Dear Logan,

After dropping you off for your Freshman Spring Kallah, I was overcome with emotions. I was trying to sort through them and knew I needed to write them down to share with you.

• Joy – For your enthusiastic energy towards getting to go to this place of utter comfort.
• Excitement – You can hangout with incredible teens that truly know you.
• Pride – Watching you grow as a leader.
• Love – For your shining spirit.
• Happiness – Knowing these events, these people will help you define what Judiasm means to you.

Mostly, I realized I felt gratitude. Gratitude to NFTY for giving you and other teens the gift it gave me over 25 years ago. The feelings you had before getting on the bus Friday, I had those too. The feelings you had while participating in Shabbat, song sessions & “NFTY” fun, I know those feelings. I remember being in the experience and struggling to define what that feeling was. (You know the one that only other NFTYites get). It took me seeing it your eyes 25 years later to identify it.

IT IS GRATITUDE!

Logan and her mom

Gratitude for giving teens that place to escape to every couple months where you are just free to be you. It is about getting to leave behind the stress and pressure of High School and all the drama that comes with it. Leaving your family, their annoyances, opinions and judgement at home. Being able to be with people that you were born with a connection too and understand why that connection is so important.

It is not until I now that I realize how much my NFTY years shaped who I am. As a Jew, as a leader, and definitely as a parent. I learned a lot of life lessons those weekends, but what I learned most was who I was and what was important to me. Being Jewish has been an incredible blessing in my life. It has given me lifelong friendships, lead me to your father, offered me comfort, but most of all it has giving my life value.

Logan, seeing where your NFTY experiences take you is truly a gift for me. Thank you for reminding me of mine and letting me witness you make your own.

I love you,

-Mommy

Orginally posted on the Temple Israel of Omaha Blog. 

By Samantha Prager, NFTY-PAR SAVP 2011-2013

Spring Kallah is the last event in the NFTY-PAR calendar year. It is always sad to see the seniors leave however it is almost magical to watch the generational leadership PAR values so much, come into play. A core value in NFTY is that of generational leadership. NFTY-PAR installs the New Board at this event and it is one of the most meaningful experiences to both watch and participate in. After Havdalah, and senior roasts, both the New and Old Boards line up, in reverse gavel order, starting with the CVP and ending with President. At the start of the ceremony the Old Board has their candles lit, and prepares to light their successor’s candle.

I watched as my fellow Board members lit their successor’s candles, and passed the torch down to another wonderful generation of NFTY-PAR leadership. Before I knew it, it was my turn, to pass the Social Action Vice President position to the lovely Erica Strauss. I gave my few words of wisdom, and lit her candle, knowing that I have left PAR in great hands.

Being in NFTY changes a person for the better. There are not many communities where teens have an opportunity to be a part of while feeling accepting and welcomed. NFTY-PAR is a place that I have called my home for the past four years. I have grown and transformed into the person and leader I am today. Something I have learned is that NFTY-PAR is not a place. It is an atmosphere created by the people in it, and that atmosphere can transform any room. NFTY-PAR will stay with all of the seniors for years to come, and will continue to grow into whatever future generations want it to be.

I am so thankful of everything NFTY has given me, but more importantly, I cannot wait to see where NFTY-PAR will continue to go. Future leaders are made in NFTY-PAR, and watching generations of leaders go through PAR within my four years is something that words cannot describe. I consider myself lucky to be part of such an accepting and transforming community. With guidance from the New Board, and the continuous participation of both present, past, and future members, NFTY-PAR will continue to flourish.

NFTY-PAR Regional Board 2012-2013/5773 at Hag/Mac in May 2012 beginning their term.

NFTY-PAR Regional Board 2012-2013/5773 at Spring Kallah in April 2013 ending their term.