Just for Laughs

Teacher Jokes

2008-03-07T18:03:00.000+05:30

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO ! "!!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !
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TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
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TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"

TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
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TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is…

TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right… "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of " COINCIDENCE?"

PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
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TEACHER : "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,

but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

PAPPU : "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
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PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
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TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !

PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
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TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?

PAPPU: No sir, I don't have to , my mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as yourbrother's. Did you copy his ?

PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
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TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?

PAPPU: A teacher

Some well Known ( we all know it happpens every day) Office jokes

2008-03-07T17:46:00.003+05:30

The very popular GREEDY BEAR Story

2008-03-07T17:42:00.001+05:30

10 More Pajii Jokes

2008-03-07T17:33:00.003+05:30

1.

Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

2.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.

3.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

4.
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....

5.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR

6.
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..

7.
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.

8.
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar". (What do you mean by which part ? Whole body is born in Punjab)

9.
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"

10.
Q:) How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A:) They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard..

Some More TOONS

2008-03-06T08:50:00.003+05:30

Some Corporate Lessons of Quality Management

2008-03-06T08:42:00.005+05:30

How to ask for Salary Rise ?

2008-03-06T08:38:00.001+05:30

HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!!

Dear Bo $$

In thi $ life, we all need $ ome thing mo$ t de$ perately. I think you $ hould be under$ tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $ o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .
I am $ure you will gue $$ what I mean and re$ pond $oon.

Your $ $incerely,

Norman $oh

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply

:

Dear NOrman,
I kNO w you have been working very hard. NO wadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NO ticed that our company is NOt doing NO ticeably well as yet.

NO w the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNO mists are NOt sure if the United States may go into a NOther recession. After the NO vember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NO thing more to add NOw. You k NOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

A Sample Extension Conversation

2008-03-06T08:37:00.000+05:30

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the

wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone .....

Origin of Human Race

2008-03-06T08:35:00.000+05:30

A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear?

The mother answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.

Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered:

Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed.

The confused girl returns to her mother and says: Mom how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were developed from monkeys.

The mother answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, while your father told you about his side...

A Camel Story - Corporate Lesson

2008-03-05T17:21:00.003+05:30

The Matt effect

2008-03-05T17:15:00.001+05:30

A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the
hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8
days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and
have a face-lift, liposuction, a tummy tuck. She
even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her
teeth!

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she
might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the
hospital.
While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an
ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said
I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of
the ambulance?"

God replied: "I didn't recognize you."

Some Football Accidents (!!!!!!!!!! (:.:) !!!!!!!!!!!!)

2008-02-29T11:48:00.004+05:30

Some more toony smile

2008-01-10T18:55:00.000+05:30

Wah Pajii

2008-01-10T18:46:00.000+05:30

Birthday

2007-03-27T08:29:00.000+05:30

Attorney: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 18th.
Attorney: What year?
Witness: Every year.

Teacher and Student

2007-03-27T08:16:00.000+05:30

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Student: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher

Power cut

2007-03-27T08:15:00.000+05:30

Lotta Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure.

Beppo Singh: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

Twisted maths

2007-03-27T08:14:00.000+05:30

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the

answer is 6!!

Running under windows

2007-03-27T08:10:00.000+05:30

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

Tim & the thief

2007-01-27T14:40:00.000+05:30

One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground.

The thief then went through Tims pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on Tim was 25 cents.

The thief was so surprised at this that he asked Tim why he had bothered to fight so hard for a 25 cents.

Was that all you wanted? Tim replied, I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I have got in my shoe!

The Golden BAR

2007-01-27T14:26:00.000+05:30

A man came home VERY late, drunk as a skunk, to find his wife waiting for him at the door. "Where have you been?" she screams. "It's 4 in the morning!"

He says, "Aww, I just stopped at this bar, I was only going to have one drink...but this bar, it was incredible. Everything in it was gold-plated. They had a gold rail under the bar, gold ashtrays, they served the drinks in gold shot glasses, the table posts were all gold-plated, even the mirror behind the bar was gold. The cash register was gold. I was so amazed by all this gold, I just kept ordering drinks, and so I could stay in the bar and look at it. Hell, even when I went to the Men's Room to take a leak, they had gold-plated urinals...man, I want to tell you, it was wonderful."

"I don't believe that story for one god damn minute," his wife said. "What was this place called?"

"Hell," he replies, "I can't remember...I got too drunk, and I forgot."

"You're gonna have to prove it to me tomorrow when you sober up, or I'm going to divorce you!" she said.

The next day, the man looks through the Yellow Pages under "BARS", but none of the names ring a bell. He decides that he'll call all the bars listed, and ask the bartenders about the decor in their establishments. He's called about 50 bars so far, and still no luck. Finally, he calls one bar, asks his question, and the bartender says that, yes, they are the bar with all the gold-plated stuff.

"Here," the man says, handing the phone to his wife. "Ask this bartender if I'm lying!"

The wife gets on the line, and begins to ask the bartender about all the things her husband had told her about on the previous night...the rail, the shot glasses, the mirrors, the table posts, the cash register, etc. etc. Finally, she says, "Now, this may seem like a strange question, but my husband says you even have gold-plated urinals...do you?"

The bartender puts the phone down on the bar, and she hears him yell, "Hey Mike!! I think I know who pissed in your saxophone..."

M&M's

2007-01-27T13:59:00.000+05:30

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.

"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's.

KFC: Our Daily Chicken

2006-12-12T02:23:00.000+05:30

A sales man from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken." The Pope refused his offer.

Two weeks later, the man offered the pope 10 million dollars to change it from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and again the Pope refused the man's generous offer. Another week later, the man offered the Pope 20 million dollars and finally the Pope accepted. The following day, the Pope said to all his officials, "I have some good news and some bad news. 'The good news is, that we have just received a check for 20 million dollars. The bad news is, we lost the Wonder Bread account!'''

Hot Enough For You?

2006-12-12T02:21:00.000+05:30

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.
There, he was greeted by George Washington.
"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.

Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

The Interview

2006-12-12T02:11:00.000+05:30

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for.

"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?"

"Wow! Are you kidding?"
"Yeah, but you started it."