If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. (Bush tax cuts) ‘Since you are all such good customers,’ he said, ‘I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.’  Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.  But what about the other six men – the paying customers?  How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share?’

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:  Under the new cut,

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pays $5  instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.  ‘I only got a dollar out of the $20,’declared the sixth man.  He pointed to the tenth man,’ but he got $10!’  ‘Yeah, that’s right,’ exclaimed the fifth man. ‘I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I got’. That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!’

‘Wait a minute,’ yelled the first four men in unison. ‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’  The nine men surrounded the tenth and complained nonstop.

The next night, the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.  In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

(thanks, Aunt Joanne, for the updated version)

Who needs 2TB of space? Someone paranoid about constant backups like me, that’s who!

So, knowing that the deals have already started, I decided to browse around and found a great deal on a Seagate External 2TB hard drive. It’s even cheaper than some of the 1TB drives.

No, it’s not a portable drive, but I’ve got a few of those already, I need something to sit here on the desktop and keep my backups in order. (Time machine is a GOOD thing!)

This is what I’m getting:

Seagate ST320005EXA101 Expansion External Drive – 2TB, USB 2.0

I also run a backup program that backs up my data to a remote site as well. No point in taking risks with all my client files.

We should allow it in order to promote tolerance. I also propose that two gay nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque to promote tolerance within the mosque. We could call them “The Turban Cowboy” and “You Mecca Me Hot”.

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork and has an open barbecue with pork ribs cooking at lunchtime. Across the street there should be a daring lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret”, and next door with flashing neon sign should be an Adult Toy Shop.

In this way we can all learn tolerance for each-other.

(from an email received from one of my sisters)

I saw a brief demo of this at Web Video University. If you’re interested in beefing up your video skills, I highly recommend that site. Dave Kaminski knows his stuff.

Roger and Shelley (Faircloth) Hobbs — keep those names in the back of your head… there’ll be a grammy in their future. (He’s already got an emmy.)

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day..

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”

Curtis & Leroy replied, “Well, then just give us our money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already..”

They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”

The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”

Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!”

Leroy said, “We shore can!  Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!”

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis &Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly  grocery store and asked.

“What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”

They said,”We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”

Leroy said,”Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.”

The farmer said,”My Lord, didn’t anyone complain?”

Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

They’re overseeing the Bailout Program.

(sent to me by a former colleague)

Most folks are not aware that there are additional benefits for Veterans or their Widow(ers). There is something called an “improved pension benefit”. What does it take to qualify?

• only 90 days of continuous, active duty military service, one of which was during wartime.
• any discharge other than a dishonorable discharge
• disabled OR at least age 65

For seniors living in assisted living or other senior facilities who are at least 65, there is up to $1950 per month available TAX FREE.

(I’m just hitting the highlights from the brochure.)

For more information, visit Dukes Benefits Advocates LLC: http://dukesbenefits.org/
or call Ronald Dukes at (757) 233-8404, or email him at rdukes@dukesco.com

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