Vanillery Garden

How To Use Facebook

2013-06-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

Facebook is such a great tool if you are using it the right way. We spend so much time on the internet that we are sometimes overwhelmed by the information. We just take in and hardly ever think about it. What I realised for my self is that this information influences and forms my view on the world. Somehow my facebook newsfeed represents the overall mood that I believe to world to be in. So if I am constantly swamped with news like "God, I hate my life." or "Thank you annoying person who did this to me. Why me? Why always me?" or "Today sucks." it will affect me, if I want it or not.

This is about taking care of myself. I want to nurture myself with good vibes. Get some inspiration or happy thoughts into my head. Be strict about what I let into my life and what not.

Finally it´s up to you. You are the best friend you can have, no matter what social media status you have or how many friends you added. It´s just a tool. Use it this way. Use it in a way that helps you become more the you that you always wanted to be instead of mass-collecting facebookzilla.

How do you use Facebook? What information do you gather? How does it influence you?

5 things I am grateful for today:

I edited and cut my first video on my new mac. I´ve been working on my old MacBook for somewhat 6 years now and especially video editing was very hard and time consuming. Yay for more video stuff!
Working for the toy customisation exhibition that I will be taking part in.
Due to the cold weather Suki somehow learned that sitting on my lap is warming and nice. She never did that before and now it´s hard to get her off. She is becoming the most perfect cat in the world day by day.
Homemade ramen. Yummmm!
Hot water bottles. I´d freeze to death without one at night.

Many hugs to you!!!

How Adobe Became Part of My Self-Awareness by Shutting Down their Creative Suite (Drama, Baby!)

2013-05-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

My recent focus is on "being in the now". Or being present. I realized that mostly when I experience stress, it´s either about the past or the future. Now let me tell you what happened to me today. You might laugh, because actually when I look at it now, it´s really hilarious. But in that moment, at that time I was sort of horrified. I had a story going on in my head. Here it goes:

I was at a shooting today and while we were preparing everything for the next model and scene, a very good friend and co-worker of mine read out an email, saying that Adobe wants to shut down their Creative Suite after CS6 now and continue to shift their software to their Creative Cloud service via monthly subscriptions. In my case that would mean paying 50$ every month. Evvvvveeery mooooonth!!!!
I suddenly felt dizzy, because that seems to be an awful amount of money for something that is actually not mine. I´m not a friend of cloud services, knowing that the security is less than trustworthy. And without me realizing it, my brain created a wonderful movie for me to see.

I saw myself in about 15 years from now, still working with Adobe CS6, because I refuse to update to the cloud service. I´m probably even stuck to a really old iMac, even though we have the year 2028. I´m wearing glasses (God knows why) and I´m sitting in a dark room filled with blue cigarette smoke (and even this is so absurd since I am allergic to tobacco!) and I´m having a mental breakdown because after so many years, of course, somehow the computer crashes and nothing will work. I was desperately pulling my own hair, head flat-faced on the desk, almost crying.

Now let me repeat this, just to get it right. Here I´m sitting in a wonderful studio, surrounded by funny and awesome people, yummy food and juices and yet I´m having a mental breakdown over an imagined mental breakdown I believe to have in 15 years!!! Not only is this utterly crazy, it´s also quite the opposite of being present. My hands were even trembling slightly and I had to gulp down a huge glass of water and orange juice before I could even thing straight again.

I sat down and I slowly started to laugh because it seemed so absurd and funny. 15 years. Not tomorrow or next week or anything even remotely closer. No, 15 years from now, I will be a smoking crazy hermit because of the Creative Cloud. Honestly?!?!?!? What was I thinking?

Why could I even trick myself into believing that kind of stuff? But at the moment I did and it lead me to tense up and feel stressed. The bad thing is not that Adobe tries to change their sales management, the bad thing is that I believe my crazy thoughts about what this might mean to me.

In the end it´s about trusting the Universe that everything will go the way it should go. And that everything is taken care of, as it always is. I know, this is just a very materialistic thing to talk about, but if I can´t even trust that these small things will resolve themselves, well what about the really important things like family, fur babies and nature? Even these thoughts show how restless my mind is and how many thoughts are swirling around in my head. Thinking fast, finding problems, trying to solve them, on to the next problem. Continue until madness sets in.

What calms down my mind instantly is gratefulness. Whenever I blog, I find this in my daily routine, as I always have my "5 things I am grateful for today" section, but lately I´ve become busy, almost too busy to keep up that ritual. So the new mantra I´m focusing on is:

Be present. Count your blessings. Question your thoughts. Move slowly.

I hope that I could help you to question your own believes and stories. Notice what they do to you. And notice who you would be without them. A big big big help with this is Byron Katie. As always. :)
Is there anything that you noticed going on in your life? I´d be happy if you shared your story in the comment section with us!

5 things I am grateful for today:

The Creative Cloud. Obviously. Because it lead me to question my mind and bring me back to routines and rituals that are good for me.
Cleaning my apartment today and bringing it back to it´s zen status. I listened to some tibetian singing bowls while doing it. So calming. :)
Having Chufli for breakfast. Whenever you can grab it: Take it!!!! It´s so good for your body. It´s sweet, but has no white sugar. Yumm!
My job. It kind of feels like I´m taking a giant workshop on life, even though it does not say that in my job description.
Heavy rain and the moments of silence that it brought along. People waiting for it to pass. No stress. No nothing. Just raindrops, fresh air and a free shower.

Many hugs to you!

A Little Roadtrip Home From Germany

2013-04-12T10:17:00.000-07:00

I love travelling. Put me in a car or train. Landscape passing by. Telling funny stories, laughing, listening to good music. We´ve been out for a shooting in Germany, only a daytrip, but the weather in Austria was marvellous. Everything covered in golden light. I am blessed with my life, being able to do work I love with people I care about. Here´s a little clip for you!

5 things I am grateful for today:

Meeting people that I haven´t seen in ages and realizing that so much changes, even if it doesn´t seem so.
Suki being fast asleep even thought there were two techno parties going on outside. She was the main reason why I didn´t freak out on people.
Sleep. Honestly. Good sleep is heavensent!
Lavender tea and rice waffers. Healthy noms.
A wonderful weekend ahead. Lots of work, but lots of love too.

XOXO,

Sunday Sleeping Positions With Suki

2013-04-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

Finally spring seems to have arrived. Hence bringing with it the need to just sleep. Here in Vienna we had the dullest winter since 130 years. No sunlight at all. As soon as the first glimpse of sunlight hit my apartment, Suki was there to enjoy a perfect sunday snooze next to the radiator. She somehow managed to pull the curtain onto the seating, using it as a kind of D.I.Y. hammock. It´s so hard not to wake her up and cuddle.

I want to go outside and celebrate. Make a picnic. Something like that. I often tend to forget how important it is to listen to my body. I tend to live in my head, thoughts and visions rather than being present in my own body. Back to yoga. Learning TCM and Shiatsu. So many things to experience.
What are your plans?

5 things I am grateful for today:

With a little sunshine it´s so much easier to do without chocolate in exchange for a healthy and fit body. Now just a little bit more sports and I´m totally happy.
By simple changing a little bit of the layout on the blog, I´m like "Woah, pictures!" and it´s much more fun to put up illustrations and images now!
Knowing that I have friends that forgive me, even when I make stupid mistakes.
Being able to actually treat co-workers with a massage therapy during my working hours. I am so grateful that I can help them and through this I´m able to help myself. We even ordered a massage table that should arrive in the next 2 to 3 days!
Basically starting to customize everything that I own. But that´s another story soon to be revealed!

Many hugs to you!

8 Songs To Fight Grumpy People

2013-04-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

This playlist is as mixed as the weather is right now. Yesterday Vienna was covered in snow, today it´s sunny. People are grumpy and easily irritated. It´s hard to fight against the moody downward spiral that everyone is going through. Mostly because it is so easy to forget about yourself. As if everybody´s sulkiness were an excuse to be angry yourself.

Your surrounding is not you. I am not them. Or at least I don´t want to be THAT PART of them. People will roll eyes and snort. Don´t give in. How do YOU feel? Isn´t that the most important question? Treat yourself with some fresh juice. Or raw food. (Good site on not spending loads of money and yet eating healthy: Raw on 10$ a day (or less).

Optimism and happiness are like manners for the soul. It´s something you can train, something you choose to do or not to do. Not always easy, but always helpful. Always good for you. Please be nice to yourself.

5 things I am grateful for today:

Sunshine!!!! FINALLY, after so many days of grey and grey and grey!!!
Eating fresh mozarella and 6 different kinds of salads. Food is so amazing.
Receiving one of the kindest compliments about looking like a fairy. Made me tear up at work. So much happiness.
Deciding to make even better plans for the future.
Focusing on my "wants" instead of my "shoulds".

A big hug to you,

I Love Pastel Colors (story of a giant painting)

2013-04-03T12:35:00.002-07:00

My apartment is white. My table is white. My bed is white. Even my cat tree is some kind of ecru-white. The main inspiration for the way I furnished my apartment is shabby chic. (Though admittedly it still lacks the shabby part, which is yet to come the moment my white table starts to have funny spots and scratches. Sandpaper here I come!) But I digress…

Some of you might have noticed in my youtube videos that my walls are still pretty much empty. Thus not really contributing to the cozy feeling one should have while lounging on the couch, right? I moved into this apartment in summer LAST YEAR. So holy cow, it took me over 7 months to actually get a canvas that is large enough to actually fill the space!

As soon as I started to stretch the canvas, it became very obvious that I couldn´t wait forever until I started painting. Why? Basically it was so huge (2,50m x 1,90m or 78.7' x 39.3') that it covered almost both of my living room windows, transforming it into a constant twilight zone. Not so good.

Now I won´t lie: Creating an abstract painting is way harder for me than making an illustration. I decided not to paint some cat or scenery or anything specific and definite mainly because of the size. Imagine a giant grinning cat constantly glancing down at you. Anything with eyes was impossible. I don´t want anything to look at me whenever I sit there. Hence an abstract painting.

2 days and approximately 7 layers of paint later I had a painting that I was somehow content with. It´s not intrusive or pushy, it´s not garish. It won´t bother me much. It´s just there and it makes a homely room out of something that used to be rather cold and empty.

Up until now Suki has not tried to use it as a scratcher, so I guess it has been approved to be worthy of hanging on my wall. I´ll take some close-up pictures soon. The funniest thing about this is that everybody seems something different. From a watermelon and seeds to an upside down whale that sprays a black fountain. What do you see? I decided that I will hang a piece of paper next to it and every visitor has to write down their interpretation of it. Give me your suggestion and I´ll put it down onto that piece of paper!

5 things I am grateful for today:

Making a delicious and healthy salad for lunch and paying lots of attention while eating it. I want to be more aware of the moments when I consume something.
The amazing Placebo video from Hugnation. How we make or break ourselves with our thoughts.
Putting Suki back into a happy mood after some ravens teased her in front of the window this morning. She was very frustrated, but now she´s all happy and talkative again.
Washi tape that I use for hanging pictures onto my wall. I found a store that sells original mt tape in Vienna and I couldn´t be more excited. (Yes, Kristian, it´s "just" tape made out of rice paper. And it´s colorful. And probably a bit expensive. But hey, I love it! *g*)
Not being bothered as much by this long winter as I could be. I wished for snow for so many years and now that it´s here, I might as well be happy about it!

XOXO,

Skateboard Art - Finisage of Inga Guzyte at SQRL

2013-03-08T12:06:00.002-08:00

On Thursday, February 28 2013, Inga Guzyte had a finisage at the SQRL atelier in 6th district of Vienna. To be honest I have never heard of her before, but when I came across the facebook invitation of finisage, I just felt like I needed to make use of the opportunity and take a look at her artwork. I don´t know how much time goes into making her characters out of old skateboards, but she knows her craft very well. There´s such a fascinating feeling to her work, as every piece has been used and loved before it became part of a whole new piece. The rhinestones add a nice contrast to the shabby look.

Everyone at the SQRL gallery was so nice, they even served us real donuts so we wouldn´t eat the fake ones off the wall. So if you ever get a chance to see Inga´s work, make sure you do!

Find her here too:
her website http://ingaguzyte.com/
facebook http://www.facebook.com/pages/Inga-Guzyte-Art/
twitter https://twitter.com/#!/IngaGuzyteArt

SQRL http://sqrl.at/

5 things that I am grateful for today:

I got my RAM upgraded from 4 to 12 GB. Such a difference!
One of my favorite things to do is developing a corporate identity for someone. There is something about giving a lot of thought to the image and message you convey.
Suki´s good morning songs always make my day right from the start.
Eating tramezzini with lots of different things (from fresh sheep´s cheese to tomatoes to olives and salad, etc.) made me feel so refreshed and content. Food love!
Receiving very cute twitter and mail messages that make me aware of the beauty of the responsibility that I carry as a blogger. I love what I do!

Many many hugs!

XOXO,

8 Songs To Summon Spring

2013-03-06T11:08:00.001-08:00

Spring is just around the corner and I collected some songs that are perfect for sitting in the first snatch of sunshine. Eyes closed and drifting away, daydreaming.

5 things I am grateful for today:

I got to paint the glass walls at my workplace! So much fun!
Warm sunshine coming in through the opened windows. I was so happy it was actually warm enough to have fresh air without freezing to death after 2 minutes.
Waking up with a sore throat that by now is back to normal! Wohoo, meadowsweet tea!
Watching Interstella 5555 after what feels like ages and still loving that movie!
Having Suki in my bed in the morning, purring like mad.

Happy Wednesday everyone!
XOXO,

March in Nuremberg

2013-03-04T22:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I´ve been on a day trip to Nuremberg workwise. I had to get up pretty early (4am!!) to catch my flight and I consider early morning to be the best time for flying. Everytime I see the sun rise, I think to myself that it is simply a breathtaking experience. Especially now, where spring is just around the corner and the sunlight is strong, clear and warm. I could sit outside with a cup of tea and just enjoy the sunlight for hours. (Well packed into a fuzzy and warm jacket, mind you.)

The architecture in Nuremberg is somewhat british and very cute. I feel kind of sorry that I hardly had time to take pictures, but I think you can still get the image.

We were served super yummy food all over the day. It´s very easy to make me happy with delicious noms since I´m very sensitive to what I eat. *drool*

5 things I am grateful for today:

Yet another day that seems very promising for spring to return.
Getting up super early and sipping tea while writing this blogpost before I go to work. Productivity boost!
Being healthy. I was sick for the last two weeks and I am surrounded by people who have a cold and other terrible icky stuff. I pray that everyone of you stays healthy out there. :)
Fox´s Classics traditional ginger cookies. Sweet, but also a little hot. Yumm!
Hatsune Miku smiling at me from my tea mug. Bo peep bo peep bo bo peep bo!

Many hugs to you!

Beginner´s Advice: Don´t compare yourself

2013-01-23T04:21:00.002-08:00

We are in our own way most of the time. Just because we think we´re not good enough yet.
Time to change that.

XOXO,

A Mouthful Of Vlog //// Working on Sunday

2013-01-21T02:07:00.000-08:00

This was my Sunday. Anyone else who worked this weekend?

XOXO,

Vanillery Vlog //// Wheeeee, Winter!

2013-01-18T06:26:00.001-08:00

We are drowning in snow here. When I look out of the window right now, there are gazillions of little snowflakes raining down on us. Winter is finally really winter again! The recent years have been such a disappointment to all the snowman/bobsleigh/everything-is-white-and-gorgeous fans. I bought myself a new daily planner and a set of matching stickers from giftaholic. I can´t really work with regular planners like Moleskine as they have nothing fun on them. They are just pure black and boring. I don´t even want to look at them and then I end up being unorganized just because I refuse to use something that is not inspiring me.

I´m planning on making more vlogs, let´s see how I can put it all together. :)
Enjoy!

XOXO,

Lately I Can´t Sleep

2013-01-04T12:51:00.000-08:00

find my illustration on tumblr too!

It´s been like that for 2 weeks or so. I open my eyes, feel wide awake and when I take a look at my iPad, it´s freaking 3am in the morning. Anyone else out there having issues with falling asleep lately? Happy Friday though! Let´s hope we can get some rest tonight.

XOXO,

Being Smart in 2013 /// My Favorite Infotainment Videos

2013-01-03T12:24:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite things to do is to learn. I don´t have a TV, but I love shows that will teach you something about this world. There´s this iPad app for youtube that I have and it lets you put up to 5 videos into the cache, which is perfect when you are on public transport on your way somewhere and want to learn something. Hopefully you like them too! If you have any channel that you like to watch on a regular basis, please let me know in the comments, I always like new stuff on my youtube subscriptions!!! High five to all the smartasses out there!

Hugs,

January 1st! Welcome 2013!

2013-01-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

original on my tumblr

So far this year has been a blast! (Haha, I´m so funny…not.) I got to spend the night with my brohter, my best friends and their family and their friends. I woke up at 5am today, surprisingly well rested and hungry as hell.

Taking a hot shower in the new year has become some sort of ritual. A day where I really spend hours in the bathroom, taking my time. Do you have a certain habit for January 1st? By the way: Yesterday´s illustration of Suki the Cat sort of blew my mind. Reblogged 600 times by now.

I have a little sneak peek video from yesterday which might give you a little impression of the fun going on.

Have a wonderful start into the day. Let´s raise our glasses to a wonderful adventure ahead!

Hugs,

Happy New Year!

2012-12-31T04:03:00.001-08:00

click here to see the animation on my tumblr

I wish you the best year of your life! 2013 here we come!!!

Sending you many hugs!

Does It Get Any Better? My Personal End of 2012

2012-12-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

The yummiest raw tiramisu from simply raw bakery

So we´re still alive, huh? Surprise! Wow, looking back at 2012 I can say that this has been the best year in my life so far. Not that I personally achieved anything on the outside world that I could show you. Like publishing a book. Or making a movie. Or even doing weekly vlogs. (Which are still on my list btw…)

But if I would take a look inside of me, I would say that the personal development has been huge. I´m talking Quantum leap. It initially started when I split up with my boyfriend in February (we´re still talking, no hard feelings) and then spent 6 months going back and forth between Vienna and my parents place. 4 hours on a train every day. That gave me lots of time to think and reflect.

As some of you might now, I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for a very long time. The symptoms of fear have been a constant companion over years. There was a time when I could not even remember what it felt like to be without fear.

tiramisu and chocolate mousse from simply raw bakery

It was then in June that I discovered Halcyon Styn from hugnation. He brought a whole new way of thinking into my life, a way to view the things that happened to me under a different kind of light. Not always heading out and pointing the finger of blame onto others. I realized it was not about being right or wrong.

I admit that I have sometimes had the urge to always know things better, just for the sake of winning an argument. It wasn´t even something I did on purpose, I just felt like if I were wrong, I would equate that with being a failure. Not worthy. I am blessed to have a very good friend who would bring this to my attention. That totally blew me off my feet. It opened my eyes to personal improvement. There was a spot that urgently needed to be worked on. I remember sitting at that chinese restaurant and not being able to stop crying, as I´ve realized how much I made myself and others suffer.

"Would you rather be right or free?" (Byron Katie)

The next thing I know is that I discovered Byron Katie and her book "Loving What Is". If you don´t know her, you will find very helpful downloads on her website. Her ways of asking four questions to yourself will unveil every hidden story of your mind. A year ago my panic attacks were so strong, I could neither fly nor take the underground. I honestly thought I would die. By now I have even taken the plane all by myself (I even fell asleep!) and I sit on the subway smiling at people and being really relaxed. I will go into more details with this in another post if you´re interested.

Setting my mind free and healing old wounds, putting my focus onto a calm and peaceful life has done so much for me. It might not have changed a lot on the outside, I have always been this outgoing person that loves life, but now I can fully appreciate it. I can be free from my ego. At times at least, because life is about learning and the ego is your classroom where you will get tested. Sometimes you´ll make it and sometimes you have to re-take a class.

In 2012 I learned that everyone is a teacher, whether you like it or not. Everything that you struggle with is your chance to learn a lesson. Every day gives you the opportunity to start over. Every negative thought of yours is a moment where you are being harsh to yourself and where you are confronted with a story that does not coincide with the loving being you really are.

2012 has also been the year with the most amazing birthday presents ever. Two of my best friends surprised me with a washing machine!!! It was the only thing that was still missing in my apartment even 4 months after I moved in. Every time I use it, I have to think of them and it makes laundry day become pure bliss.

On my birthday my mother brought in these two really big boxes. The top one said "Hello Natalie! We´re back!" When I got to open the box, I started to cry. In it were all my old "My Little Ponies" back from the time when I was a little girl. My mother had put a lot and effort and time into collecting them back from the people we gave my old toys to. She even managed to get back the Pony House! (Geez, I´m even sobbing now! Such a crybaby! ^____^")

The year ends with the most interesting outlook on 2013. I can´t say too much about it yet, but you´ll be filled in when the time has come. I´ll spend New Year´s Eve with my best friends, my family, funny games and laughter. Don´t be afraid if you see the blog going through a couple of changes in the next days. Nothing too big, but I want to rearrange and organize myself a bit better.

Have a wonderful New Year´s Eve and thank you so much for being here!
Mwah!

Weekend Candy //// Quick & Easy Christmas Gifts DIY

2012-12-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

Cold Porceilain tutorial by Memi the Rainbow

The older I get, the more I enjoy making and receiving handmade gifts. Maybe it´s because in these times going out and buying stuff is the easy way. My good friend Leni (you should definitely check out her deviantart!) always made me the most beautiful gifts and she has such a talent when it comes down to putting a lot of love into what she does. One can see the effort and the time she took. Every time I´m wearing one of her creations, I feel like a giant, invisible teddybear keeps hugging me throuth the day.

If you caught the DIYtitis too by now, you´re in for a treat. Let´s have a look at the things I found all over the creative web:

♥ Craft Passion´s macaroon coin purses look so cute and aren´t that hard to do.

♥ For the home: Colorful Paint Dipped Flower Vases by Curbly

♥ For aspiring organizers (aka "Next year I´ll be less messy.") Cork Board Messaging Hoops by Paint Me Plaid

♥ Double fun for the little ones: Topsy-Turvy Rag Doll Tutorial by Handmade Charlotte

♥ Poppytalk double-love part one: Color Blocked Coasters

♥ Easy as pie part two: Cute Quote Block by poppytalk

♥ And last but not least this wonderful video!

5 things I am grateful for today:

Throwing a lovely pyjama party, so now I know I can fit up to 5 people into my apartment overnight. :)
Getting up and preparing breakfast for friends. It´s like having a little bed&breakfast, which always has been a secret dream of mine.
Finally deciding to get a second cat for my birman. She obviously needs a friend when I am off to work and I want her to be as happy as can be.
The internet is still such an amazing tool to connect to the nicest people in the world.
8.30pm and I am off to bed superearly.

Many hugs to you!

December Mixtape //// Winter Snow

2012-12-05T12:23:00.000-08:00

Winter Blossomsby *dimitricaceaune

I haven´t made a mixtape in ages! I made a collection of beautiful and calm songs that are perfect for sipping a cup of hot tea while you read a good book or cuddle with your special someone/somecat. Enjoy!

A Furbaby Moves In! My Sacred Birman Says Hi.

2012-12-03T07:35:00.000-08:00

It was 4am when I woke up yesterday. I stared at the screen of my phone and groaned. This is how it has been for the recent two weeks, ever since I knew for sure that I would adopt the pretty Sacred Birman. Not much appetite, a constant load of adrenalin in my bloodstream and a giant lack of sleep. I have fought a battle with myself over the period of months. "Cat, no cat. Maybe a bunny? Nope, no animal at all. But a cat would be kinda nice… No stop it, no animals in your home… Well, let´s at least look around the Internet for fun, maybe there´s a cute kitty in need…"

This is how you fool yourself into thinking that you don´t actually really want a cat, when your heart is crying out loud for a furry companion all the time. I officially need to apologize to certain friends of mine and to my brother for being such a nuisance. I constantly mumbled my thoughts out loud and asked them for advice. When it was sure that I was about to take in a cat, I bombarded them with hundreds of links. "This one? Or this one? What do you think about these? Waaaah!"

When I found Wendy (that´s her name for now, not sure I´ll keep it that way) on the internet, I instantly knew that I needed to take a look at her. There is something so very sweet and kind about her. She has quite a story too, for she miscarried her first litter a couple of weeks ago and has been in dire need for silence and calmness ever since. When we brought her to my home she would sit on the cat tree for hours and wouldn´t move.

In the evening I carefully carried her across the room to have dinner. I then sat down at the opposite corner and waited. She would slowly tiptoe around, sniffing here and there, her eyes wide open, acting kind of timid. After 20 minutes she would start to circle around me, getting closer and closer. When she finally reached me, she sniffed my hand, uttered a soft purr and gave me a Chuck Norris headbutt on the knee that almost knocked me over.

I don´t exactly know what happened there, but she has followed me around ever since. She watches me when I brush my teeth and she sits next to me on the chair when I work on the computer. I tried to make a short video of her, but she keeps kissing the camera, so I´ll have to wait for her to calm down so you get to see her better. The above picture demonstrates the process quite well. Whenever I take a photo of her, I got about 3 seconds time until she comes closer and headbutts the lens. ^____^

You´re sure in for more cat stories and treats in the near future! Also overwhelmingly big thanks to the many of you, who encouraged me to go on with my blog. I have many blissful stories that I want to tell you, it really feels like my life is a giant birthday celebration day after day. I feel very blessed with everything that happens to me. Thank you for being a part of all of this and bearing with me over such a long period of time. *cries and hugs everyone*

P.S.: I really need help with giving Wendy a new name! I thought about a Studio Ghibli name (I love Jiji!) but then again I really can´t decide on anything. Arrrgh! HAAALP!

5 things I am grateful for today:

Getting back into blogging. I have missed it so much and it has given me the opportunity to put myself "out there" in a way I never thought possible.
Wendy *ermherm* is such a cutie. She isn´t pushy or anything of that kind. I hope I can give her a home that lets her establish her kind and calm character even further.
My family, who also happens to be my best friends. So much personal growth going on here and everything under the shining light of love. Amazing.
Christmas chocolate from the British Food Store.
Kyary Pamyu Pamyu´s background dancers are amazing kids. Even as dancing fruits.

Have a wonderful day!
XOXO,

Natalie

=^.____.^=

Weekend Candy: Video Crushes October

2012-10-28T10:40:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!
XOXO,

Silence Is A Good Teacher //// A Day In Autumn

2012-10-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

Coming to terms with myself was very frightening sometimes. The process of getting there is vulnerable and beautiful, but also involves a lot of unveiling hidden thought patterns and detecting socially imposed actions. Like for example I always thought that if I were a people´s person, I have to be able to be around crowds all the time. Which I am not. Therefore, maybe I´m a loner? But I like to be around people! Just not always.

I discovered that my thinking was (and partly still is) very black and white when it comes to myself. I kept bombarding myself with "I´m this!" or "I´m not this!" thoughts. "I´m so slow!" or "I´m absolutely not a motherly person." When the truth is: Sometimes I am. Sometimes I´m not.

To me it wasn´t so much about where others push me. It´s where I push myself. But the main question should be: Why push anyway? Why not just be? This is where silence is a good teacher. I sat down on my cosy carpet with a cup of hot chocolate and just listened to myself. All of what I thought about myself, all of my thoughts, all of the stories that I created about what I was or should be: They were mere concepts of me.

To get a sense of who I was, I had to put myself into a box. And then I had to break free from it. Which seems brutal because you have to destroy the box and start from scratch.

The result from this feels like opening my eyes from blindness.I´m extremely happy and extremely grateful. I love the people that the universe has brought into my life along the way as well as I love my family and am able to see them from a new perspective. I´m trying to spread some of the happiness with something like illustrations I do on the sidewalk or picking up garbage whenever I see it. (Picking up trash is one of the best ways to make you feel better instantly. Head out, bring a bag along and help nature to relieve some of the itchiness going on there.)

I also realized that it´s not a bad thing to have the need for solitude. It just makes me able to focus and act with integrity; to be able to come back and be my best self. So I can have days like this one. Here´s my little share. Enjoy!

Tomorrow is a new day for everyone.

5 things I am grateful for today:

Watching the private documentation of Klara Harden, making her way across Iceland alone.
Cheese and butter popcorn.
Laughing tears with my brother while watching silly youtube videos. You gotta have one of these days where you delightfully stay inside and do nothing but having fun.
Falling asleep and waking up to rainy weather.
Fresh Raw Bakery supply!

Sunshine to you!
XOXO,

Walking A New Path /// Life Recently

2012-10-25T14:17:00.000-07:00

If you had told me some half year ago that there would come a time, where I would stop blogging for a whole month, I probably would have laughed at you and said something like "Never ever going to happen! I need to blog! Need to! You understand?!?" Maybe even involving some grabbing by the shoulders and maniacally shaking. I would not have been able to even imagine a special moment in my life that I wouldn´t have wanted to share on my blog.

Yet I noticed that something inside of me was yearning for silence. There was a part of me that needed full attention. That wanted to be listened to. For the past months I have been feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities that spread itself before me. I am totally and utterly free, I don´t depend on anybody. What do I want to do? I needed to sit with that question.

What do I want to do? That´s a big one. Of all the things in life, where do I want to put my creative energy into? Where is my focus? It wasn´t like I felt lost. My mind went crazy with "Oh, you could make more with puppets! Or you should make more movies! Try make something professional out of your blog! And don´t forget to make tutorials! And videos! And photos! Did you try knitting recently? How about doing something creative with washi tape? By the way: You should be more creative. I mean look at you. You don´t even do anything that could be idetified with you. What a shame!"

My brain was probably right. There wasn´t something…well, how do I put it? There wasn´t something out there that was totally and utterly me. I sat down and for two weeks straight I did nothing. I went to work, I got back home, I had no internet, no TV, no radio. No influences whatsoever. Just me and silence.

There was a particular day on a weekend where I went to the Vienna Kids Farm with some dear friends of mine. It was one of those days where you feel like you need nature and the close connection to animals. I tell you: It was heaven. The farm is such a hidden treasure. Sheeps, goats, goose, horses, a lovely donkey, chickens, a wild herbary and a pumpkin covered vegetable garden. Within all of this, there was a point where something like enlightenment struck me. The kids went to the rabbit hutch with me and we fed them some crops. Grain by grain.

The surprising thing about it was, that the rabbits weren´t greedy at all. In fact you could watch them cuddle with each other, clean their friends or just sit in the sunshine and doze happily. I turned to my friend and said: "They look like Tibetan rabbits, praying for world peace." The rabbits looked like they had it all figured out. The next day it came to me that I wanted to paint one of them. An enlightened rabbit, happily praying.

It´s funny how you sometimes need to go around the world, seeking for something in every corner only to find that you go back to what always touched and moved you. With me it´s animals and illustration. It has always been.

The twist in the plot is the aspect of enlightenment. I think animals are much more zen masters than we are. They experience the now as it is, they don´t conjure up concepts of how their life should be. If you have ever seen a cat sleeping in the sunlight or if you ever met the loving behaviour of an affectionate horse, you know what I am talking about. They are unconditional love itself, wrapped in fur and puppy eyes and they will show you. There is nothing more inspiring to me. It´s something that I aspire to become. And they do teach me well.

5 things I am grateful for today:

Hula Cam at Burning Man 2012. A GoPro Cam mounted onto a hoop. Such a breathtaking video about this gorgeous planet we live on. (Be warned, not save for work.)
Walking into the kitchen at work in the morning and finding free chocolate that a colleague brought for everyone.
The cat ghost puppet is so cute, it gives me goosebumps. Apart from the song just being very very nice.
Noming hot chocolate powder with a spoon. No milk added.
Watching waaaay too many Ragdoll cat videos. You know where this is getting…

Have a wonderful day! I missed you!
XOXO

Calm Video Crushes September

2012-09-18T04:56:00.000-07:00

September has reached its peak. As I walk down the streets of Vienna, I am aware that the last sunny days have arrived. I love autumn. Snuggling into my pyjamas, I like to entertain myself with small video clips. They are like miracles to me. I always get excited about how many wonderful things this world has to offer.

5 things I am grateful for today:

Being super inspired for building a new puppet.
Listening to wonderful guitar music on jamendo.
Munching a vanilla-cream-filled chocolate donut that a new friend has given to me.
Wonderful coincidences that do make me believe that the world is really small and connected on so many wonderful levels.
New bedsheets with pastel colored dots.

Happy Tuesday!
XOXO,

New Favorite: Bento Bag From Satsuki Shibuya (which I don´t use for bentos)

2012-09-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have been looking forward to this package in my mail like I hardly did to any mail before. Since I stumbled upon the lovely Satsuki Shibuya and read (or should I better say devoured) her touching blog, I really fell for her and her wonderfully handmade pieces. She creates the patterns on the fabric herself via screen print.

Since I always carry my camera around in my backpack, it kind of tends to fly around in there loosely. I was not very happy with that. So when I found her "late night munchies" bento bag, I figured it would be the perfect companion. Just look how much effort she puts into making the packaging! Every single thing is handmade, sewn and with ribbons added to it. Even the paper of the order bill smells nicely. I´m completely happy with my bento bag!

I hope you´ll come to love her just as much as I do. If you want, you can also find her on twitter and facebook. And here´s a very cute clip of her from OTIS:

5 things I am grateful for today:

Taking a day off to take care of myself and the fever flashes that I´ve been having since Sunday. Sleep is sacred.
Being super teenager-like and listening to the Twilight Soundtrack (I´ve never seen the movies though, mind you.) Muse is just yumm yumm!
Making cute pom pom flowers for my bathroom. (Pics will follow.)
Reading on in Byron Katie´s book "Loving What Is" and tonight I finally get to the chapter of Self-Judgement. That shall be very interesting.
Living without a TV. No temptation to slack of on the couch at all.

Happy Wednesday!
XOXO,