Whether you use an ancient iMac or a new MacBook Pro, if you visit sites that use Flash your CPU usage will spike, your fans will spin like a turboprop, and (if using a laptop) your crotch will be set ablaze.

Here is the task manager on my MBP;  i’ve got Safari open with one window on a Flash cartoon that’s got simpler animation than Magilla Gorilla.

57%? seriously??

This would not be a huge issue if it only happened on web cartoons or porn sites.  The problem is that Flash is ubiquitous — it is even used by many banner ad rotator packages.   So just by visiting, say, your local newspaper’s web site, you are loading Flash into memory.

Thus, if you browse many sites and keep several  windows open in Safari, the probability that you’ll  hit sites with Flash approaches 1.    Your shiny new $2500.00 machine suddenly performs worse than a Windows machine that’s 1/10th the cost.

But Why?
This isn’t just some small bug with the latest version of Flash;  this problem has existed since Flash has been available on OS X.  It simply is inefficient in a way that the Windows version is not.

Why it remains so is a matter of open speculation.  Some say Adobe simply doesn’t care about OS X because of its small market share.  Others say it is a pissing contest between Adobe and Apple —  recall that Apple refuses to allow Flash to run on the iPhone, ostensibly because they want greater control over the apps that run on the device.  (In Apple’s defense, I wouldn’t allow Flash on the iPhone either, at least as it is currently implemented;  I can only imagine how quickly it would drain the phone’s battery!)

Will this ever be fixed?
This thread about the OS X issue on Adobe’s ticket tracker makes it very clear that:

1) Adobe is aware of the issue

2) They aren’t devoting enough resources to fixing the problem, focusing instead on getting Flash onto cell phones (!)

3) Because this problem impacts all Macs, and Macs are becoming more popular, Adobe is needlessly causing a huge amount of electricity to be wasted.

One person in the thread did a back-of-the-envelope calculation that the amount of electricity that’s  turned into waste heat because of Flash’s poor implementation is the equivalent of the output of a small nuclear power plant.  Ironic, as Adobe fancies itself  a green organization.

A Work-Around: ClickToFlash

If you use Safari, the best thing to do is to install ClickToFlash ASAP — this will prevent Flash from automatically loading on a page.  With one click you can then load the blocked Flash app.

This has made a huge difference in my system’s performance and battery life.  As a bonus, it also blocked a bunch of annoying ads.

Of course, it doesn’t fix the underlying problem of Flash being a total pig on OS X.  We can only hope that Adobe does the right thing and makes OS X a higher priority going forward.

Sweet little thumb sucker

Reed, Adam and I had gotten to Chicago a few hours earlier. It was a combo-visit: we got to see Adam’s family and I got to attend ALA (with a very limited schedule so I could be with my little man). We were walking down Lake Shore Drive on the way to Lincoln Park. I had Reed in the Ergo Carrier on my front and I tripped over badly uneven pavement. I tried to regain my balance, but couldn’t with the extra weight on my front. So we fell. All I could think of in that moment was Reed. It was truly the scariest moment of my life. Luckily, I had just enough time to turn my body to the right as I was falling so my arm bore the brunt of the fall. Reed got a tiny bump on his forehead (which was gone within an hour) and got a small scratch on his forehead (which was healed before we even got back to VT). Still, we took him to the hospital and got him x-rayed to make sure everything was hunky dory. And it was.

I didn’t fare quite as well. I ended up with a badly sprained shoulder, a banged up knee and lots of road rash on my arm and leg. More than a week later and I still can’t carry Reed or change his diaper. Thank goodness we already had bottles and a breast pump, since there is no way I can nurse him now. It really sucks — I miss bouncing him and being able to just grab him and take him from place to place. It’s also incredibly inconvenient. Adam has had to pick up a lot of the slack. Thank goodness my parents had been planning a three-week visit that started on Friday (they’re renting a house locally), so Adam doesn’t have to do everything around here. For a few days, Adam even had to do my hair, which made me grateful that we had a son! I went to physical therapy on Friday and the exercises they recommended seem to be helping bit by bit. But I still can’t do a lot of motions with my right (dominant) arm and carrying any weight in that hand is impossible.

In spite of the pain I was feeling, all that mattered to me was that Reed was ok, and I couldn’t think about my own injuries until I knew that he was. And I felt so proud of myself for having that mother instinct to put myself into harm’s way to protect him. It was just a few seconds, hardly enough time to think, but I did the right thing for Reed. It made me feel like a real mom (even if I was one before).

Reed and his cousins Maddy and Max

Other than that, the Chicago trip was a lot of fun! Reed met his cousins for the first time, spent time with his grandparents, and met a whole bunch of my librarian friends at ALA. He started rolling from his back onto his side while we were there and has nearly gotten all the way over to his stomach. He is SO determined! While I’d never want to live in a city, I wish we had a wonderful park like Lincoln Park to take Reed to around here. It’s such a great, kid-friendly, beautiful space. Reed did a fantastic job on his first big trip! He behaved really well on the plane and was a perfect gentleman at O’Hare in spite of flight delays. We are amazingly lucky to have such a mellow little guy — he’s a gem!

I’d sprain my shoulder a thousand times over to keep him happy and healthy. It’s an awful injury to have, but he’s worth it.

Sleep Tight...

Reed just had his 3 month birthday, I can’t believe how quickly time is passing.  It is a cliche, but I really am having a hard time remembering what life was like before him! (Though that may have something to do with sleep deprivation.)

Meredith and I are lucky; not only is he healthy, but Reed is also an incredibly well-behaved baby.  Unlike his father, he communicates his needs with clarity —  he only cries when he wants to make a point (Hungry! Tired!), not just for the sake of crying.

He’s also a champ in the car and was even better behaved than his mother and myself when we were stuck at O’Hare for 6 hours the other day.

All told, having him come into our lives has been an incredible experience that’s been pretty much what I had expected.  The only real surprise to me is how deeply I love him.   Just going away for a couple of days at a time on business trips has been a total killer.   I miss seeing his smile and having him pass out in a floppy heap on top of me after feeding.

I hope  to cut down on travel for the next several months;  I know that he won’t be small forever and I don’t want to miss out on watching him grow.

Reed turned two months old today! We celebrated with his first hike in the woods, which he mostly slept through in his Ergo carrier. Part of me can’t believe he is already this old while another part feels like I’ve known him forever. The past month has been a whirlwind of visitors, but we have the house to ourselves for the rest of the summer. While it’s nice to have company and help, it’s also be nice when it’s just the three of us. My parents were so crazy about Reed that they’re renting a house nearby for three weeks to spend more time with him.

Reed has been growing like a weed. Two weeks ago, we learned that he was in the 75th percentile for height

Adam circa 1971

– which is impressive when you have two shorties for parents. He’s grown 4 inches since he was born
so is 23 and 1/4 inches now. While he eats like crazy, he’s still a pretty lean guy. I’m sure he’ll fill out
soon, though I was never particularly chubby as a baby. I’ve recently seen pics of Adam at this age and he is a chubby version of Reed; it’s really uncanny!

Tummy time or snack time?

Reed’s accomplished so many things this month. Four weeks ago he cracked his first smile and since then he’s been smiling all the time when he’s in a social mood. He’s been cooing a lot and we’re much more clued in to what his various vocalizations mean. He’s started playing with toys — batting at and clutching toys that dangle over him. He’s a whiz at tummy time and has a very strong neck. On Sunday morning he managed to roll himself from his belly onto his back!!! It was a big weekend of firsts since Saturday he also was able to consistently get his thumb in his mouth. He’s still not quite as crazy about it as the pacifier, but he seems to use it more and more each day. He’d been getting it into his mouth on and off for 2 weeks, but he was never able to consistently repeat the feat until now. Good work Reed!!!

I started back at work last week. I’m only working two days per week until mid-August (when Reed is 4 months old) and Adam will be watching him on days that I’m away. It’s difficult to be away from him, but at
least for now he’s with Adam who is so great with him. They have so much fun together and Adam is a really supportive, hands-on dad (and husband). The idea of sending him to daycare really freaks me out, but there really isn’t another good choice for our family.

Lots more to update, but my buddy here seems to want to play, so play we shall.

I know Adam’s taken other movies with our video camera, and hopefully he’ll upload them soon as well. And, as always, lots of photos of the Reedster can be found on our Flickr site.

He loves to sleep on us

A few course corrections later, and while Reed still has gas, he is passing it much better and is rarely in pain because of it. He’s eating well and sleeping brilliantly. He still needs to sleep with us (or, more accurately, on us), but we’re all getting a lot more sleep than before. I’m hoping that in the coming weeks he’ll be able to spend some time on his own, since right now he cries his lonely cry if he’s away from me or Adam for more than 3 minutes. I don’t mind that much since I love cuddling him, but it makes it difficult to get anything done. My in-laws are arriving for a week’s stay tonight and I’m just excited to have time to clean the house!

Last week, Reed started eating like an absolute pig. Turns out he was going through a growth spurt. He now is 4 inches longer than when he was born and gained 7 ounces in just 5 days. He really feels a lot heavier and his face and tummy are definitely filling out (he still has long skinny limbs). He’s also much more interested in the world around him. He loves looking at his reflection in the mirror and looking out the window on sunny days. He really enjoys

Reed's new friend Jacques the Peacock

playing with his hands and it’s awesome to watch him developing motor control. He’s even starting to become interested in toys — he’s fascinated by a colorful peacock toy, but the others don’t capture his attention yet. Best of all, he SMILED for the first time on Friday (and several times since) without gas. He’s just a very happy little guy and that thrills me to no end!

All in all, he is a dream baby, far more wonderful than I imagined he could be. He’s sweet, funny, loving, and beyond adorable. I could stare at him all day — and do. I keep saying to Adam “how did we make someone this perefct?” I wasn’t sure how I’d take to motherhood (and I especially worried in those first 10 days after having him), but I feel so bonded to him and so happy in this new role.  I don’t know what challenges might come in months 2, 3, 4, etc., but I feel like we’re equipped to meet them.

I came to motherhood having never done so much as changed a diaper. I’d held babies twice in my life and was extremely uncomfortable both times. When Reed was born, I was pretty terrified about picking him up for the first day, and it’s funny to look back on that considering how comfortable I am with him now. Being his mother feels so natural now, as does everything that comes with it. Nothing he does really phases me anymore after dealing with some of his epic diaper blowouts. Well, clipping his nails still terrifies me, but I think I’m going to be forced to do it soon as they’re getting rather long. I tried filing his nails last week and it helped a little bit, but not quite enough. They’re just so tiny!!!

I’m learning a lot more about his cues too. It’s easier for me to tell his “I’m wet” cry from his “I’m hungry” cry now. Some of his cries are still a mystery to me, but I’ve gotten better at calming him down during those times when he doesn’t need something obvious.

I’ve also learned a lot about the mental side of being a mom. I spent way too much time over the past few weeks beating myself up over things and, as a result, being irritable with Adam (I’m sure Adam would use a word other than irritable to describe my behavior, probably a word starting with “B”, but I digress). I was starting to worry that I had post-partum depression, but what I realized was that I was making myself sick and miserable trying to keep doing things that just weren’t working. What I’ve learned is that while a mother should always do what’s best for her child, a big part of that is taking care of herself and not being stressed or miserable. Stress isn’t good for a baby. Yelling isn’t good for a baby. Crying while feeding a baby isn’t good for a baby. After having a good talk with my pediatrician the other day, I’ve made some changes that have resulted in me being much happier and more relaxed. The measure of a mother is not how miserable she is, and I think it took me a little while to realize that. I feel much more able to enjoy Reed now and even Reed seems a lot more relaxed. Happy mommy, happy baby. We like that.

Reed’s over 8 pounds now and we have another well baby visit at the pediatrician’s office tomorrow, so we’ll see how he’s progressing. He’s crying a lot less now, seems much more interested in the world around him, and is sleeping so much better. I’ve started pumping breastmilk a bit, and Reed does much better with the bottle in terms of his gas. I do feel sad that breastfeeding just doesn’t seem to be working for him (or at least it’s not making him a very happy camper), but if something else will prevent him from being miserable, I’m willing to make a change. It’s all about him being fed, healthy and happy. And looking over at him in the swing right now, with his eyelids drooping towards sleep, he seems to be all three of those things.

On Friday, Reed turned two weeks old. Other than his gassiness, he’s doing quite well and growing like a weed. At an appointment on Monday, we learned that he is now around 7 lbs, 14 oz. Wow! I am really at a loss as to what to do for his gassiness though. We give him simethicone before every meal and burp him after. When he is gassy, we try putting him on his stomach across our legs or bellies or massage his abdomen (which he doesn’t really seem into). I’m trying a new nursing position — since I have forceful letdown when nursing — which we thought was working since he was doing great yesterday, but this morning he’s been in a lot of discomfort. I just can’t stand seeing my little guy in pain. If anyone has some tips for preventing gas or calming a gassy baby, I’m very open to suggestions.

Now that's what we like to see!

Last Thursday, Reed had received his circumcision which was far more traumatic for me than it was for him. He slept through the whole thing (!) while I cried and cried. It definitely threw off his eating and sleeping schedule though. He is slowly coming back to how things were before, which was frantic crying from 9 or 10 pm until 2 or 3 am (coupled with crazy cluster feeding), and then around 8 hours of relative mellowness where he eats every 3 hours and sleeps in between. The afternoons are unpredictable, but he usually has one long nap after an hour to hour and a half feeding. I am sure as soon as we really get used to this he will throw us another curveball, but it’s nice to know right now when I can expect to get a bit of sleep.

It is so amazing to be able to watch him learn and grow. Already I can see big improvements in his hand-eye coordination. He can hold his pacifier, can often keep it in his mouth with his hands, and last night he even nearly pushed it back into his mouth after it had fallen out. His neck muscles are crazy strong for a baby his age. It blows my mind how quickly he is developing new skills and strength. And the best part is that it is only going to get better! I can’t wait until we see a smile that isn’t gas!!!

A welcome distraction

This is the first time I’ve been on my computer for more than 5 minutes since Reed was born. I use my iPhone sometimes while nursing, but it’s rather difficult to write a blog post on one of those. After a marathon (1 1/2 hour!!!) feeding session, Reed is sleeping and I feel like I might actually have time to finish this post. Fingers crossed!

Reed has been an absolute joy over the past 11 days. I could spend days just staring into his beautiful eyes and holding him close. The love definitely makes the sleep deprivation more tolerable. The first five nights of his life, I got about three hours of sleep cumulatively, but I’ve been doing much better with sleep this week and am feeling a bit more lucid and less stressed. It also helps that Spring has finally sprung in Vermont and we’ve been able to take some nice walks with Reed.

One of the things I was most concerned about before Reed was born was nursing. Would he be able to latch on? Would he be satisfied with my production? Would my milk come in in a timely manner? Would it hurt too much? It’s kind of scary to have another person completely dependent on you for sustenance. And nursing him has been one of the great pleasures of motherhood, but also one of the greatest stressors. On the whole, things are going really well, but he does have occasional difficulties latching just because he gets so frantic on the breast. I’ve had to unlearn some of the things that I was taught in the hospital that were contributing to his freak-outs — some of the nurses had me shove my breast into Reed’s mouth, force his head onto my breast, and one even put sugar water on my nipple. Really, all it takes is good placement and patience. Things get better every day and my soreness is improving, so I feel very optimistic about our nursing relationship.

Mere minutes after Reed was born, I tried nursing him for the first time. And it was about as easy as a nursing session can be. I thought wow! This is great! It’s going to be so easy to nurse this little guy!. The nurses kept commenting on what a mellow little guy he was.

Unfortunately, by the next evening, Reed was not so mellow. He was extremely gassy and frantic about it, screaming all the time unless I was nursing him. He seemed to want to nurse every hour. I spent the entire night awake trying to calm him down and was really worried about him. I didn’t realize at the time, but it wasn’t that Reed wanted to nurse every hour, but that he wanted to suck for comfort while he was gassy, and it didn’t matter if it was a nipple, a finger or a pacifier that he was sucking on. I had mixed feelings about giving him a pacifier the first time, but it’s been one of the major things that’s kept the three of us sane and it hasn’t had any sort of negative impact on our nursing relationship (his latch keeps getting better every day). The first few nights at home he was extremely gassy and kept us up all day and night. He’s still gassy, but we’re giving him medicine before every meal, and he’s getting better about sleeping and letting us sleep.

On the morning that we were going to leave the hospital, we were visited by a different pediatrician in our pediatrician’s group. She asked me how nursing was going and I said that he was demanding feeding nearly hourly during the night. She then said that I should supplement with formula because it sounded like I wasn’t giving him enough food. When I expressed reservations about doing that, she told me that if he came into the hospital with dehydration, he’d have to go through a full battery of tests, including a spinal tap, so I shouldn’t take chances just nursing him. That scared the living daylights out of me, but it didn’t seem to me that he was dehydrated considering how moist his mouth was and how much he was peeing. But she seemed so sure that this is what I had to do and clearly she has a lot more experience with babies than I do. She also said that he looked small and may have lost too much weight since birth (mind you, this is the first time she’d seen him and had not checked his weight yet). Turns out, he’d only lost 5% of his body weight (over 10% is concerning), but she still continued to push the formula thing and made me question whether wanting to nurse exclusively was about me being stubborn and not about me doing what’s best for Reed. Even Adam said that maybe we should supplement, so I was definitely doubting myself as we left the hospital.

Fortunately, I trusted my body to do the right thing for Reed and my milk was totally in by the next afternoon. Within three days of leaving the hospital, he had gained 11 oz. from his discharge weight and was well over his birth weight. He eats well and pees so well that his diapers can rarely hold it all (in fact, he peed all over me while nursing early this morning). There is not now, nor was there then, any evidence that he is not getting enough from me. But the pediatrician seemed so sure that I should supplement with formula that it was difficult for me to trust my own judgment at the time.

In the hospital, you can pretty much convince a mother to do anything by just telling her it’s “for the good of the baby.” I would have undergone any medical intervention to ensure that Reed was healthy and happy. So when you hear from a medical professional that you’re not doing enough for your child, you tend to believe them. I’m sure a lot of people have heard that line about needing to supplement with formula and just trusted that the doctor knew better. I’m sure some people actually do need to supplement, but that should be based on evidence that the child really and truly needs it. I think medical professionals need to be more careful about creating doubt in a new parent’s mind in the absence of compelling medical evidence.

I’m thrilled that I can give Reed the nutrition and antibodies that he needs to grow and be healthy, and it pleases me to see him growing so quickly. His newborn diapers are already getting tight on him and I think we’ll be able to move on to the Level 1 diapers (8 lbs and up) very soon. Adam is doing such a great job feeding me, taking care of the baby, and making sure I get enough sleep to function. Things are definitely looking up from those first few sleepless nights full of doubts. We can do this!