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Oops, No Title

2009-10-26T06:04:00.003-03:00

Sippin and I mutually agreed to cancel the prop bet. We were both over 1200 games away from our respective goals, so it was a fairly fine note to agree to end on.

With that ended I've been taking some time off DoNs and SNGs in general. I've decided to get very serious about cash games. The money I put on FTP was for that purpose and I've been logging hands there lately. I've logged about 8500 hands so far and have been having nice results, but I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'm a cash crusher. I'm barely a student of the game at this point.

I'm seeking out every source of free learning information I can. This includes 2+2, blogs of successful players, reading material I have on hand, etc. Training videos are also an option. I'll consider coaching once I get to a certain level most likely.

For now I'm going to be trying to get in a better sleep schedule, a more consistent eating schedule, use my free time more productively towards learning things -- poker or otherwise. Poker will be key for a large part of the next two months.

I'm going to look at some sites and consider moving to a location with higher rakeback. A lot of the Euro sites have 40-60% rakeback, which would essentially double my rakeback earn that I'd be getting at FTP. Assuming I can still maintain my volume of play at another site and can play well there, it just makes good sense to try and increase my earn in every regard possible.

Goals for the day are to watch a video or two, start reading one of my cash game books, find a site with a 55%+ rakeback, decent traffic, playable software, and at least weekly rakeback payments. I'd also like to book a solid 2500 hands today or so.

I'm locked in with Platinum for the month at Stars, barely. Next month the goal will be to ship Nova finally. I'm less than securing Platinum away from securing Nova, and to lose Plat and get Nova in December would sort of suck 'cause I'd be getting fewer FPPs while doing it, so November seems the answer.

How I'll be finishing off Nova is yet another mystery. I don't have a large roll online anymore and would rather not having to spend a ton of hours at $5 DoNs to rebuild and go from there. I may work on building my cash roll and get it to a point where I could maybe move enough of it over for a bit to lock in Nova at Stars via cash. Nothing is decided, though.

So with the day's goals in mind I'm going to set out and do some site selecting and watch a video or two.

Mindset

2009-10-21T08:38:00.002-03:00

Slacking pretty hard as far as volume goes for this prop bet. My plan at this point is to book 300 games per day for the next week and just finish it off and get it over with. I just wrapped up a 141 game session and booked a solid enough win to be able to play 10s my next session. Assuming I crush the prop volume than I should be rolled for the 20s again by the end of the month.

Logged some cash hands earlier as well. Won about 3 buy-ins. As far as gameplay goes, I'm enjoying the intricacies of cash a bit more than the DoN grind right now. The DoN grind took a massive head-start with the last session, but I'm excited to get myself rolled for 25NL and start trying to crush that.

I'm not aiming for any particular sample size at any cash level. I'm aiming to build the bankroll to the point at which it as well as I are solid cash game earners. I've never really worked on building two separate rolls at once, let alone at two disciplines and I'm more than satisfied with the fact I chose to build from scratch.

It's interesting now, as I reflect back on what must now be three summers ago. I was splashing at 10NL and beating the game, but barely. I'm not even sure what my PTBB/100 was, but was it probably 2 or lower. I have no clue what it would be now, but I have a much deeper understanding of the game, even on a basic level. I've impressed myself with how far I've become, and I'm impressed not with the results but moreso with my comfort in decision making and my ability to learn.

Sometimes finding the correct material to learn from and deciding what to incorporate into your own game can be an oversight by many players. They take some niche of information as gospel but fail to realize alternate profitable lines. That's the beauty of poker, nothing is ever solidified as fact, at least permanently.

Aside from reading a lot about poker and playing, and wasting too many hours doing useless internet things, not much happening. I ordered Borderlands through seller online and hope to get it within a week at the latest. I checked around my city the day of release, and it was on for a bargain price of $40 and of course low shipment and sold out everywhere. Genius promoting by these guys, hats off. You created a buzz last minute surrounding a game that had little. I'm terribly amped myself.

I had to pay full retail $70 but got it free shipping, so it's even cheaper than getting it at the store once their restocked.

Gonna zone out right now, try to be up at a half decent hour in the afternoon to start the day. The goal... be on the felt by 9pm and log around 300 games by 8am. The felt do. Volume, money, whatever. Glad to get October finished just for the sake of needed volume, but it's a good motivator, I'll have a nice month to show for it overall.

It's been tough, though, some days. To get the mindset to load the games. That's usually all it takes, is getting the first several tables open, having your tools loaded correctly, shit working well. Get a vibe going. Jam some tunes, get into a show while things pick up. Things are usually fairly basic in the first levels so I like to relax early, your decisions come in middle and late game. By that time the music or show is background to poker, or at least if you're in the zone it should be.

It's tough to keep that focus though. It's an inane thing how it comes and goes. Learning new things is helping, and growing my game. All fun and games. I gotta sleep so I'll be up at a decent hour.

Downtime

2009-10-20T05:38:00.002-03:00

I'm updating my database on my desktop, it has all of the games I've played this year. Switching between laptop and desktop and trying to maintain the master here is a bit annoying, but worth it. I just have to remember the latest day I'm up to date with so I don't have to go back and check. Stoner mentality.

I haven't done a ton of volume since the rebuild attempt, but things are bound to pick up by the weekend at the latest. It's only Tuesday and Monday we went out and shopped a bit. I need to crush Christmas shopping soon so it doesn't sneak up on me like it always does.

I've probably logged close to the same amount of hours at both cash and DoNs. I'm up at both already, about 5 buy-ins at cash and 6 at DoNs I think. The hourly is pretty much the same right now, but I'm only 6-tabling cash while I figure some things out. I don't see me mega tabling cash, at least 6-max, any time soon. I'm excited to battle my way through the stakes though.

As for DoNs I will certainly be glad to hit my buy-in goals for moving up. I initially said 70, but I'm doing it with 60. The variance just isn't such that I should suffer my hourly that significantly. I'm playing life-nit right now since I'm going to be semi-busto after scratching off student loans, but in reality I'm still fine. I don't mind be a little nitty right now and do things right so I can reestablish myself well; debt free.

With 60 buy-ins I'll have a little less than half the roll in play at one time, but the variance for DoNs is such that the possibility of having a 35 buy-in downswing (the "reserve" buy-ins I have while having 25 in play, but one, open another). So the likelihood of dropping 35 buy-ins consecutively without winning any, or having a run such that you lose that much more than you win, is pretty thin. And the possibility of having it in one session is basically impossible unless you tilt like a monkey, which I'm proud to say I don't do so much anymore.

Cash rules are staying very strict, as I'm still learning the game at a very basic level, but I'm still very excited to be progressing the ranks there as well. Progressing DoNs is more about securing a more certain hourly level that makes things comfortable. Progressing cash is more about learning to make money, consistently, first -- at any stake. I think climbing the ranks is just a necessity for me to achieve the skill level I desire at cash.

Despite my desire to rise the ranks in DoNs quickly, I am still feeling terribly burnt out on the entire thing. I'll be glad to get done with the prop bet volume. I'm not sure what the exact plans are for November now, but I think it involves a decent amount of cash and likely a sizable amount of DoNs. Burnout or not, I'm doing this for these next months for a reason.

What may be the best idea is to play more tables than I generally have been. I can play from my desktop and do 35 tables pretty well, which is about 10 more than I'm comfortable doing on my laptop for an extended period (I do 25 and in the last 10-15minutes I load up to 32, and maintain that number until I've loaded for 2 solid hours). I'm a volume whore when I play a session.

So if I 32-35 table from my desktop for several hours the next several days I could wipe this prop bet out and make more decisions about where I'm headed. Even with 300 games per day I'm looking at the next 7 straight days. Not terribly excited about that at all. It might be more bearable if I just do it while doing a movie marathons or something. 25-table drone it for 7 movies a day or something.

It would be a sweet note to finish on if I make my number and sippin doesn't. Gonna grab some sleep and hopefully be up in time to get a session in early afternoon. I'm excited about this game I stumbled on yesterday, Borderlands. It drops tomorrow and I've been looking for an RPG but have been loving FPS lately. I'm looking forward to playing it, hopefully this weekend if I can go out and get it tomorrow.

Challenge On

2009-10-18T21:27:00.002-03:00

I've been wanting to do something like this for awhile. I've got some time to do it, the urge to do it, and sort of a reason to do it. I'm at a point where I want to wipe out my student loans and become debt free, and I feel like it would be a great time to rebuild in a very literal sense.

Without getting into numbers, I'm at a point where I could pay off my student loan and still be sitting with enough money that I'm comfortable with, both on hand and bankroll. So although I could just leave my roll as is, do what I'm doing, I feel like now is a great time to do a rebuilding challenge.

It gives me a chance to limit my exposure while going through a massive real life financial swing, gives me a chance to work hard on my cash game as well as my SNG game. It puts the two on an even platform, though there is much more for me to learn at cash than SNGs.

I'm leaving exactly 1k on as my online roll. It's split on to one site for cash (480) and Stars for DoNs (520). I have exactly 100 buy-ins overkill for the 5.20 DoNs and plan to move up with 70 buy-ins for each next level. For cash I'll be playing anything I have 40 buy-ins for, and be moving up with 25 for the next level, and down when I hit 20 or lower for the current level.

This puts Supernova off for a bit, but it's not a huge deal. I could still end up getting it this month if things go well. Either way I'm not concerned. I'll still lock it in for the year and I'll satisfy this month's prop bet by getting the volume I need. I'm excited to finish that up so I can focus more readily on cash.

To Satisfy The Cliché

2009-10-15T04:42:00.002-03:00

I am so close, yet so far. I'm less than 1/10th remaining to achieve Supernova but it still feels so far away. I'm partly considering playing 52s again soon, I'm rolled for them as long as I'm playing superb and paying attention. I think I'm at a point where I either have to take money off and focus on rebuilding or start mastering the 50s again.

I think the key is table selection, but it hurts my games per hour significantly. But I feel the 50s generally load such that table selecting them during the week and ignoring it for the most part on the weekend may be fitting.

Played some 100NL tonight and was doing okay, but the requisite HU tilt crept up fast and I ended the session down about half a buy-in. I'm not skilled at cash by any means, and it's always a sign I'm floundering when I'm at a cash table.

Just blew another bunch in a high buy-in HU SNG. The guy was a huge fish so I sat in impulsively.

I'm gonna withdraw a bunch I guess and just get back to the basics with grinding so I can ship Nova, this prop bet, more profit. I'm going to will myself back into grind mentality later today with some review, maybe crunch some numbers and set some short term goals for the month and plan for moving up at the first of November.

Assuming I can perform well over the next 2400 games then I'll be comfortably rolled to play the 52s at the start of the November, with Nova intact. Right now I just want to get through this month on a satisfied note.

Not Playing Well

2009-10-14T13:17:00.004-03:00

Experiencing a little bit of burnout and not playing that great the last couple sessions. Down a quarter stack of buy-ins for the $20 DoNs. Wasn't focusing a lot while playing, especially my last set last night. I felt like I was just rushing things and mostly wanting to get through the set. I should have just got some rest and played hard the next day, but I always push myself.

It wasn't a rough set emotionally really, I just wasn't focused on playing at all. I had the TV going, which has been fine most times lately, but last night I think it distracted me in a bad way.

I've been up about an hour and accomplished nothing really. Burned some minutes browsing random shit on reddit and some forums. Gonna grab some breakfast, shower, maybe review some, I dunno. I might even discuss rearranging my ongoing volume prop to a hands played prop and switch to cash. I'm feeling really burnt out with what I'm doing all of the sudden. Not poker so much, just the specific format I'm grinding. It's very monotonous.

Learning a new game would be fun, but I think it's boring without a network of players better and worse than me to communicate with to assist in growing as a player myself.

I think I'll just take a couple days and feel it out. It wouldn't be disastrous if I lost the prop bet by any means, and it may lead to bigger things for the month overall. I need some motivation, that's for sure. Right now I'm fumbling a bit, definitely lost the pace I would liked to have been on. It happens I guess.

The USD is falling before the snow. I really would prefer not being at par with them, or seeing them be much worse off. I'd like to see Stars open the floodgates for Euro accounts and establish a base in the UK. I'd strongly consider moving there.

Gobble

2009-10-13T02:46:00.003-03:00

With turkey days overtaking me, I fell a bit behind on volume but I'm still fine to finish the month well for the prop. Things continue to go well on the felt, results are there right now for sure, feeling good about my game, generally playing well when I play, of course some times I play a bit better than others.

I just finished a session and things went really well, but then a bit crappy at the end. I still had a great session overall but it could have (and was, at a point) twice as good. I'm just happy to have got at least one solid session in today. I had intended to play the entire time I was home but I found myself doing more things than I expected, which was fine.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to do 300 games just to pick up some speed. I may try to do that tomorrow as well as on Friday and Saturday. That would put me around 2800 games for the month going into the third week of October, so almost leaving two full weeks to do 1200 games. No problem. I might as well just aim for 5k.

Doing 5k games this month would really set a precedent for doing at least that next month and doing a minimum of 4k in December, which would be great as far as volume is concerned. I'm not sure where that puts me with regards to overall VPPs for the year. I'm going to be figuring shit out more at the end of this month, deciding if I want to take another shot at the 50s again or what's going to happen there.

So the goal is 5k. I'd be so pleased with 5k for this month, because at this point I don't feel overwhelmed. We'll see how things go.

I got my first star on Sharkscope a few days ago. I'm starting to climb the ladder of the total profit leaderboard for the $20 DoNs. I may end up blocking off my Sharkscope if I feel it draws negative attention, but at this point I haven't noticed anything. If I decide to leave it unblocked I'd like to get a gold star by the end of the year, then aim for a diamond/crystal/whatever next year in something.

Still just enjoying the time I'm having right now doing this.

A Quarter

2009-10-07T02:38:00.002-03:00

No, not more weed. I've hit the quarter way mark for my 4k game goal/prop today. Things continue to go quite well overall, I'm satisfied with the volume I've achieved thus far and am enjoying putting hands in for the most part. Some sessions can be annoying, of course, but what in life can't be at times.

I've been reflecting about life a lot lately. I didn't come from a lot of money. I didn't even come from a little money. We were pretty poor. I mean, we never went without meals or anything like that, but we were definitely barely getting by, especially before I was a teenager. I mean, my mom had me when she was a teenager herself, and she came up with less than we came up with together, so you know how that goes. Or maybe you don't.

I wouldn't change anything that I went through... I don't get into a lot of gritty details about my life outside of poker, and even less about my life outside of poker before poker, but I had a lot of chances to be just another fuck-up statistic. Going through everything I went through made me who I am today, and although I'm far from perfect, I don't have any qualms really.

If I could take one thing back ever, though, it would be to never have put that first cigarette to my lips. In fact, I wish I could've forced my hand further and completely refused to live in a household of smokers. It was, no doubt, detrimental to my long term health. Everyone in my family smoked. Everyone. My grandmother and myself are the only two within my immediate family that I can recall quitting the habit. It was the best thing I ever decided to do, as far as improving my life goes.

I can't take it back though, it's done. I don't smoke tobacco whatsoever anymore and have zero intentions of ever doing so again. In fact, I'd like to say I'll never smoke anything ever again, but I know I'll smoke weed again at some point. If I had the opportunity to test a Volcano and see if I enjoy the results (aka the smokeless aspect is better than what my vaporizer offers) and I liked it I'd get one, just to have on hand for when I do decide I want to blaze weed again.

Tobacco was the only real addiction I've ever had. It even has the "melting" feeling you hear that hard drugs offer. If I went a day or two without a cigarette and had one again, my entire body would just be swept over with this melting feeling. It's intense. I don't miss how awful smoking that shit made me feel.

This blog is more undirected than usual. So is my life I guess, but I'm loving every minute of it. I'm enjoying just doing what I'm doing right now, just being sick with the grind and having no goals outside of that.

The Weigh In

2009-10-05T03:34:00.003-03:00

The month is off to a great start. Unfortunately for me, I'm not. I'm playing well when I play, but off the felt I'm distracted. I decided to just go for 4k games and consider anything else gravy, which gives me a lot more leeway. I'm still not really satisfied with where that puts me at for hours played in the month, but poker is certainly a different beast than a 9-5.

I felt so conflicted, guilty even, about not getting on the felt and playing today. Stars was suffering disconnect and latency issues when I would normally log my first session, so the obvious choice was not playing then. I started a session late in the evening, but I had swapped out some of my software for updated versions and set some paths wrong and fucked myself a bit. So I cut that short, and ended up not getting back on the felt, and I've felt guilty of it since.

I'm all around conflicted about things right now. I feel like I should be so focused on poker and getting so much volume in, and I could but I'm always having to adjust slightly to fit others in. Poker is a beast that shouldn't be played with unless you're feeling ready to tackle it with all you've got. There are windows of time when you just know you should be on the felt, and windows of time when you just shouldn't. Fit other people's schedules into that and you're going to be closing a lot of windows.

Of course, life's not all about the grind or else it's not much of a life. The problem, I guess, is I don't even know what I want from life right now other than this. I just want to make a bunch of money doing this, while doing this is viable.

So... I'm 628 games into the month, would like to be at the halfway point to 4k by the end of next Monday. Assuming I have a solid internet connection while back home for the giving of thanks it shouldn't be an issue doing just that.

I'm already toying with the idea of getting back to the 50s sooner than expected, but I think I'll like myself more if I just do this month at the 20s as intended. That way I have another recent, proven sample of results at this stake and my game will be at a point I should be more satisfied with. As long as I'm satisfied with the results, I'll start 50s again in November.

I'm starting to come out of my self-induced guilt trip over not playing today, so this blog is being of some positive use to me. As long as I break 4k games this month I'll be more than happy. At that point I'll decide what to take off from my profit and where that leaves my bankroll.

Poker aside, I've started watching Generation Kill. It's a fucking great series. I'm not sure how accurate any of it is, but I'm thoroughly enjoying the show. I'm going to start gaming a bit again too. I'm toying with playing WoW again, but I've not decided for sure. I have to get some shit sorted out with regards to that tomorrow and then make my decision. I think it will assist me in putting pot on the back burner in a more serious manner for awhile to boot.

I just finished another quarter ounce yesterday and have no intentions of getting more. It really leaves my lungs feeling awful the day I'm smoking, since I smoke quite frequently throughout the day when I have it. The day after I wake up feeling mostly fine and as the day goes on if I don't smoke I'm basically back to feeling Grade-A. It's when I'm smoking every day, day in day out that I start to feel the toll.

I have a vaporizer, but it's not a Volcano. If I ever get in a position to be able to smoke weed cheaper than what I can right now then I'd invest in a Volcano and call it good, but as it is right now I'm just blowing money and my lungs.

That's about all for now, until I feel the need to update results or vent again. I'm hoping to get a session in before supper tomorrow, but it's fairly unlikely. It's 4:30am now, I won't be sleeping until at least 7ish... very unlikely I get to play before supper unless I wake up super early feeling ready to go. Otherwise I won't get to felt until 7 or 8 tomorrow night. Puts me in a bit of annoyed spot, since it will be late in the day trying to score 200 games before I sleep. I'll get it, I'll just be glad to be back being fairly normal and able to get in a session mid-day to take away the stress of trying to get in the games and still get to bed at a half sensible time so I can be up at a half sensible time to grind the next day.

Poker is definitely a tough way to make an easy living.

Precursor To A Long Day

2009-10-03T14:03:00.002-03:00

I only got in around two hundred games yesterday, which isn't bad but is a little on the weak side. It's fine, because I started this month on a really odd note anyways so I had a feeling I'd be playing some catch up.

The plan is to log two-fifty today and at least be on a two per day pace. Even if I maintained two per day and just played all month I'd still make the 6k, and this is a very not-that-busy month, so it's possible. I'd much rather afford two per day and hit 4-5k than to do two-fifty and burn out somewhere along the way and maybe barely crack 4k or something.

My laptop power cord decided to yesterday. I noticed it shortly after starting my first session of the day on it, and the battery started draining really fast with the heads up display running on so many tables. Soo, I switched to my desktop. I haven't played sessions in here in a couple weeks and doing it is a little annoying. I had been watching random movies and shit on TV in the background while playing my sessions, and now I'm trapped back in my desktop room. Maybe when I'm feeling loose in the pockets I'll get a nice HD screen for in here too.

I'd rather be paying my own mortgage if my rent is going to be what we're paying here. We split it so it's not a bad single rent payment, but together we'd be able to make a significant mortgage payment, which would at least allow us to show a return on it over time.

I've gotta see if I can get that laptop cord working at least for a short while so I can merge some hands. I found a really nice high-end laptop for a great price that I'm considering getting. The laptop I have now is fine, for now and for what I'm doing. But I have a feeling I'm gonna need more power in the fairly near future, plus it has a lot of features I've been looking for for a great price range imo. I could nit it up. If a new cord is all this one needs for recharging then I'm set, I could grind on it until after Christmas and get one if/when the prices drop. Or even right before Christmas is the market looks anything like it did last year.

I have no idea what I'm doing right now, other than grinding. That's all I see right now. It's tattooed to the inside of my eyelids. For some reason I really want this volume this month, so I guess I'll let myself have it.

Starting Behind

2009-10-02T03:39:00.000-03:00

The month of grind is off to an okay start. I did not get as many games in as I would have liked today, but I'm satisfied with what I got. I will be logging over pace on several days as well, I expect.

Six thousand games is going to be a marathon, but I'm ready. I'm excited to play often and well, I'm excited to make Supernova. Achieving Supernova itself is going to be another ambition booster, considering the time invested will translate into more FPPs than I'm use to, which will be exciting. Although it would be more exciting were I playing the 50s, but perhaps later. For now I'm focused on going intense with the 20s.

I'd like to break one thousand games before I sleep Sunday night/Monday morning. I should be able to pull that off. That will put me quarter of the way through the prop bet and a sixth of the way through my overall goal. It would be a great pace setter.

I'm Sky High

2009-09-30T02:47:00.002-03:00

Relapsed back and went and snagged a quarter tonight.

The 50s crushed me again last night. The entire set I was thinking, "I'm crushing, looks like a solid session.". The session ended and I was down another handful of buy-ins once again. At this point I've decided to just drop down and grind them for a month and just stack whatever. It's going to alter my overall plans for the remainder of the year as far as total VPPs are concerned, but it's for the best right now.

I'm very comfortable right now, but I also don't see any reason to not just put in intense dedicated volume at a level I'm still consistently beating. The plan is to go very intense in October, and I'm upping my goal to 6k games. I'm pretty confident I can nail it and would love to get action on it but it's not really that much of an impressive prop bet really. Maybe I'll go for 10k games some month, if the overall feel of next month goes well. I should be able to get action on that if I tack on some profit requirement.

Today got off track with me sleeping in late from staying up late last night, much like I'm up late right now. I only logged two hours today, but tomorrow I plan to put in another full day. Despite a lot of ups and downs, September has been alright. I started the month knowing things could go in a lot of directions, and I'm fine with where I'm at. Going deeper in a WCOOP would have been nice, but that goes without saying.

Struggling

2009-09-28T19:45:00.002-03:00

I'm still having an incredibly difficult time with the 50s. They don't feel any harder, but the results just aren't there. I dropped about 10 buy-ins during my first session today, over 137 games. It was an incredibly frustrating session, but I pressed through it and loaded for a full 3 hours as I intend to do consistently from now on, as long as my tilt is in order. In fairness to me, HEM says I should have been up a over 5 buy-ins that session, so it's possible I'm just running bad.

I still have enough buy-ins in my account to keep me pressing on with the 50s for now, but I can't help but wonder if I should just say fuck them and stay at the 20s. It will prevent me from hitting 200k VPPs for the year, but it may make sense as far as profit and hourly rates are concerned. That being said, I honestly don't find the 50s any harder than the 20s so I don't see why I can't crush them.

For now I'm gonna keep pressing on. I'm gonna log another solid session tonight and it will determine if I play 50s or 20s tomorrow, based on how the results go. Any downswing and I'll be forced (based on my personal buy-in requirements) to move down anyways. If I have to move down this time I'm going to wait until I have more buy-ins to try moving up next time. Here's hoping I can crush tonight's session.

Partially Wasted Day

2009-09-27T18:33:00.002-03:00

Ended up staying up way too late watching WSOP 2009 Main Event episodes online and didn't get up until late this afternoon. That put a damper on getting a solid afternoon/late afternoon session in, because by the time I got cleaned up, ate, and so on my girlfriend was on her way home, and I didn't want to be stuck playing as she arrived, so I'll probably only end up getting one session in today. I have to work on going to bed earlier again.

Last night went well. Logged 99 games, about 3 hours, at the 50s. Things went exceptionally well and I'm hoping I can hang tight and weather the swings at this level properly now. Assuming that is the case, my goal for hitting Nova is October 5. Hopefully that will pan out fine. I plan to take a couple days off after I hit, then it's pretty much 6 days a week grinding for the rest of October.

My prop for October only requires 4k games but my goal is 5200. I'd be pretty proud of myself if I pull it off, and I'm pretty confident I will. It will be a bit tight I guess, just realized Thanksgiving is next month so I'll have to head back home for a bit that weekend. I guess that means I'll just skipping taking a couple days off after I score Nova... I'll just keep pressing.

Come Together

2009-09-26T20:47:00.002-03:00

Booked over 250 games yesterday and killed it. Just finished my first session of today, 127 games. Booked a solid win. I've got as many buy-ins as I'd like to try the next level again, so my next session tonight I'll probably move up. It would be nice to crush it and be able to stay at this level again.

If I can successfully stay at this level then I'll be Supernova rather quickly, within the first full week of October certainly. I'll be getting a few less games per hour and my ROI will be lower at the next level, but I'm pretty sure moving up makes sense with regards to my hourly rate. It's just a matter of being able to move up and have a couple good sessions so my roll gets to a point of being able to properly weather the swings without me having to drop back down a level.

Once I'm properly rolled and playing 50s full-time again then I'll be a little more excited about logging so much volume, because I'll be racking up intense amounts of VPPs and FPPs. My intentions for the next while is just volume, volume, volume. I'm aiming for 200k VPPS for the year, which I'll get as long as I can play at least 50s for the rest of the year.

I plan to try 100s once I get enough buy-ins. I'm not sure what sort of winrate is even possible at that level, but if they're beatable it might be worth playing them exclusively. That's still in the distance a bit, so I'll wait and cross that bridge when I get there.

I'm gonna go get cleaned up, review, hit the felt again, log another 3.5 hours or so, and be done for the day. Here's hoping I crush.

I'm So High I Could Eat A Star

2009-09-25T12:04:00.002-03:00

Courtesy some graffiti pictures.

I decided about a week ago that when I bought this quarter ounce of fine indica strain marijuana, that I was going to quit when I ran out. So last night I was getting low and I decided to roll everything I had left (probably close to 2 grams) into a joint and smoke it all. Well, I didn't get through the entire thing last night. So here I am super stoned just out of bed, about to tackle the day.

I wanna quit for a few reasons, most pertaining to health. I honestly do think it will improve my poker game for now as well. I also think some fine sativa strain could help my poker game, but that's an entire other avenue of discussion.

I think for the next couple hours I'm just gonna enjoy this last buzz and chill out. Watch Entourage, review some. I'm kinda avoiding phone calls right now from people wanting to hang out. I don't mean to be a dick, but nobody gets it that I have to actually still dedicate time to learning and improving at this shit. It doesn't just come naturally on every level. If I don't stay on top of my game consistently I begin playing quite poorly.

Drudging Through It All

2009-09-24T18:19:00.002-03:00

Got my bankroll to a point where I was prepared to take a shot at the next buyin, things went well for a day. Got slaughtered my first session today to a point where I've gotta move back down. Doesn't hurt my ego because I haven't felt like I've been playing my best to begin with.

It was a bit of a wake-up call to review though. I've plowed through 11 hand histories so far, gonna check out another bunch while I eat. Then I'm gonna rip a few tokes off the bong and get back at playing. Assuming things don't get really nasty for me I'm still looking at a ton of volume tonight and throughout the weekend. Looking forward to making progress on Nova and hopefully redeeming myself to beating these games hard.

Most likely I'll get to Nova via DoNs regardless of how low my winrate gets, but if things are really bleak at the games then at that point I may decide to transition to something else. What, I'm not completely positive.

Although I'm not winning much and feel like I'm getting beat down, I also haven't reviewed in too long and review is so crucial. I always go through stretches where I get lazy and stop reviewing and start playing break even poker. It's not a great spot to find yourself while you're amped to log hands.

I've made great progress on the Nova chase this month, but I won't score it like I had hoped. If I hadn't got shut down at the 50s so easily today I was gonna chase it. It was a lot of volume but I definitely could have hit it. There won't be any way for me to do it having to rebuild at the 20s for a bit again.

Oh well, in time I'll hit it and get a slight boost in FPP accumulation and a few more options on cashing in on those FPPs. Hopefully at that point I'll be crushing the games again also.

Volume

2009-09-23T00:00:00.002-03:00

And marijuana. It's my Valium. Keeps me pressing on. Goal oriented, all up and on it again. Lighting a fire under myself to continue to go hard. Booked 240 games today, booked a small profit, more impressive was the amount I booked.

Things are feeling good. I feel excited to play right now, excited to build my account up again. Plan is to play a ton over the next several days. I'm just into it right now and need to keep this motivation.

I booked some action on a couple things. Next month I have a prop on playing 4k games. The idea is I have to play 4000 and he has to play 2000, if either one doesn't make it then the other gets paid off. If we both make it, no blood. Basically a bit of a motivation thing for me. I would've liked to book more action on it, but he's a busy dude!

Another piece of action I was offered was a Supernova prop. Another "if we both, no blood" sorta bet. If one doesn't make it, the other gets paid in January. If things go well over the next couple thousand games and I move up okay and smash my 4k game prop next month, then the Nova prop will be a lock as well. At least, I'll have secured my end of the deal.

I dunno how much more I wanna play the rest of this month. One might think cooling off knowing a 4k game prop is on the horizon, but I want to keep this pace going. I'm in a nice zone right now.

Traction

2009-09-22T16:08:00.003-03:00

Motivation is picking up, starting to finally feel like playing and putting in work. I'm still not reviewing at all, but I found a mode to just press along with. I don't think my play is horrible right now, but I also know it's far from what it's been. I think I made some things make sense last session, despite the results saying so. I really need to take the time and review some hand histories and talk some shit out.

Volume wise I've definitely found goals to set things into motion. I'm almost exactly 75% complete in getting supernova. I should clear the mark officially later tonight when I play. I'm still grinding my roll back up.

Never Enough

2009-09-20T16:03:00.002-03:00

The lack of responsibility in my life right now provides a great deal of freedom, but it also leaves me feeling very unmotivated and misdirected at times. With such few commitments during the week as a result of all of my friends being committed to showing up at an actual job, paired with the fact the games are the sweetest in the evenings and on the weekends, it leaves me with a ton of free time; that I feel like I'm pissing away.

Somehow, I need to find a way to add more structure to my lifestyle. I've worked on self control and tolerance with regards to poker and other things in recent months and feel I've had fair success, but moreover with regards to poker.

Since I'm fairly isolated when I'm grinding a lot, when I finally do get around people I sometimes explode with conversation and sometimes I feel I'd have a more meaningful conversation with a chain-link fence. It's usually those who... know me? the best. It's probably a side effect of my decisions as of late. I honestly could not care less, it just makes me want to get out and meet more and more people which is a far more positive side effect than becoming caught up in their insecurities and shortcomings.

All that aside, I really do need to lock down with poker for the end of the month. With the WCOOP I became sloppy at reviewing before playing a set of DoNs, so my game is leaking and results are showing because of it. So I need to fall back into the act of studying soo regularly again.

I think that's one of the things potential winners overlook so much, the great value in reviewing your own and your friends sessions. I think that will be what takes me from a breakeven (at best) cash player to a phenomenal (I hope?) cash game player at various games. Whenever I do finally dedicate to cash games full time it will be a pretty intense learning experience for me. Cash games interest me quite a lot, that alone sort of drives me to want to get in crush mode and rebuild this account.

I've been listening to Blueprint 3 a ton lately, probably more than I listened to any album as of late, Drake mixtapes aside. I've just started listening through Kid Cudi's debut album, Man on the Moon, a couple times and it's growing on me. I knew I wouldn't like it right off the bat, but it's a great album after playing through it a bit.

K, I've gotta blaze, do some laundry, shower, review, and hit the felt for a bit.

Fall; Back

2009-09-15T22:37:00.003-03:00

I've been very unmotivated to play as of late, which is really unfortunate because that was the entire point of this fall. I'm trying to get some momentum and the wheels are greasing, but I need to come back interested and excited to play. I've ditched plans for the remaining WCOOPs. It's a great series and I hope I'm better rolled to play a larger schedule next year.

I went for a short walk tonight, which was nice. It's a great time of year, just before everything changes color and the temperature takes an ugly dip. I'm going to just try and focus on being happy and making goal oriented decisions for the next few months.

Like A Ponzi Scheme, Shorty Just Madoff

2009-09-10T13:33:00.002-03:00

Went deep in another WCOOP. Busted 171 out of 1500+ runners in the mixed hold'em event. It was just a whatever spot, where if he didn't have what he had I get a ton of folds and I have a great chance to still hit and double in a great spot. But I whiffed and it's on to the next.

I played the $50 cubed on Stars that night too and bubbled the money when my AK couldn't outmatch KT all in pre-flop. Such is the nature of MTTs. I was left with 10BB after that hand but couldn't get it going again.

I'm a bit behind as far as grinding goes, and I'm way behind as far as being in shape and exercising goes. It looks like I might have to quit smoking weed because I'm just smoking way too much and my throat feels like shit, I think I may have an infection in my tonsils or something maybe. I'm just guessing, 'cause my throat isn' sore per se, but my adam's apple area feels irritated when moving my neck/head around... if that makes any sense.

I've grinded some but not much. Put in my first real sessions in any time last night, and basically broke even. I withdrew a lot of my roll and I'm playing my level on shorter buyins than I'd normally prefer, but it's fine for now. A bad run would suck right now, I'd probably have to move down and rebuild just because I wouldn't have enough online to grind with and I'm still going to be pumping dollars into the WCOOP.

Backing down and not playing the last bigger buyin WCOOP I want to play is an option, but I really want to take a shot at these last few I picked off the schedule. It's a bigger shot than I've ever taken but I definitely think I'm +EV in the games, they're just so soft.

Having to move down in stakes just would really suck a lot right now, so I'm not sure why I unnecessarily put myself into such a weird position, but it's fine. I have the next 3 days to get some decent volume at my grind stakes and see where things are at for the big sunday WCOOPs. Assuming I don't go on a vicious run at my grind stakes things should be fine.

I'm probably going to play a lot of the Mini FTOPs as well. It sorta slipped my mind that they started this week but I got in in time for the first event last night. I busted pretty early after flopping a set, getting it in, and getting rivered by a higher set. Seems really soft, no surprise.

I'm closer to Nova, but not significantly so. Making it in September is still an option I just have to go hard every day I'm not in a WCOOP. It will be nice making a lot more FPPs per game when I hit. Once I get Nova things won't slow down on the grind front, I'm hoping to actually pick the pace up significantly in October and make up for time "lost" on WCOOPs.

Surprisingly I'm still in a very dedicated grind mode, I'm just terribly distracted by all the shiny big-number tournaments Stars and FTP are offering right now. If this desire to grind carries over in October I expect a ton of volume. I'm still going for 200k VPPs total this year, so I really need to knock Nova out this month so that's still an option.

As for what's going on with regards to the new year, I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I don't know if high volume and a Nova Elite chase is in the works or what will transpire. I'm gonna get through the next few months and take it from there.

Accusation

2009-09-04T03:47:00.002-03:00

Just went really deep in the first WCOOP event. Busted 185 after I made a completely unnecessary play into kings. I still had plenty of chips after that hand but ended up getting JJ in against KK for my tourney.

I played so well that tournament and I've already accepted I played the 99 hand like a vegan. I'm over it pretty quick. I didn't flip, I made the only play I was happy with the entire tournament really and it backfired. Np, it happens I guess. I don't MTT often and I've often heard how hot you have to run to win one, so no doubt I was incredibly fortunate to make it that far.

Were it not for that mistake, though, who knows what could have unfolded. It's a really great structured tournament and unfortunately the only 6max one I noticed. I may play a few other events of the series, the ones that I feel the structures offer a lot of play. I had a ton of fun raising and re-raising pots, not gonna lie it got my blood pumping in ways poker hasn't done in years.

I really wish I could have that 99 hand back, because I would have played it better had I taken more time to think about the hand. It was a very pivotal spot, but for that setup it was clear to me, in hindsight, that I could've gotten away fairly cheaply.

Despite my fault, I'm incredibly proud at how I handled the entire tournament. No outbursts, no bullshit, even on that gross 99 hand and a couple 100k+ pots I lost. I kept my cool.

Although my final tabling that would have been an interesting turn of events, and winning it would have been an epic alteration to my life, I'm tranquil about it mostly. It haunts my subconcious a bit, but it will subside. I'll wake up tomorrow, eat, maybe go for a run, shower. Log more hours, grind.

Winning would have been many years worth of grind, but I whiffed. For never having anyone help me with MTTs, the level my MTT game at surprised me a bit. Although, as I said, that field is incredibly soft. But I felt at home on the battlefelt.

Early Realizations

2009-08-27T22:18:00.002-03:00

Yeah, I have those.

Things have been going great with poker, crushing pretty hard right now, running hot. I played a set today that I ran really hot in to start and then like a slip n slide in the opposite direction throughout the middle and to the end. Just kept grinding, logged a solid 3 hour session and posted my first losing set in awhile. That's poker.

I've started focusing on learning cash games, of course still studying my bread and butter game. I watched some PLO videos but I found myself really grasping at some things. My poker game isn't where I want it to be do get good at PLO so I'm gonna learn NLH cash games first. I've been watching some videos, reading some articles, going to start logging hands sometime soon.

Life is becoming more and more about poker, more than it ever has before. It's an interesting transition. My love for the game hasn't been at this level in a long time. I enjoy logging hands. I enjoy studying. I enjoy helping others with the game, helping dudes who brought me up at this shit. I enjoy being able to finally give something back to these guys, offer my opinion and don't feel like it's half bullshit. I feel confident in offering my opinion on hands and feel comfortable bouncing ideas about things back and forth with people.

But I'm also lost socially right now. I'm really a fucked up case. I can't relate to anything my friends are about really. It's a really strange thing. I'm trying hard, but I'm just not a guy to get slaughtered beyond recognition every weekend and spending the first half of the week recovering. I can have fun without booze, but it seems like some people can't.

I'm young, I want to have a great fucking time with life and make money at the same time. I've got the world before me, I can carry it on my shoulders or I can lay that shit out like a carpet and make it mine. There's absolutely no reason for me to not take it for everything it has to offer. We only get one shot at this existence. It's a bittersweet truth that makes life so priceless and worth experiencing, and remembering.

----

2009-08-19T00:00:00.003-03:00

Considering all of the free time I have available and what little I have to show for it as far as productivity goes, I need to look into new hobbies. I've found a niche with regards to the SNGs I'm playing right now and starting to feel a little more secure in that regard, but I'm feeling as though putting in a somewhat limited volume for the remainder of this month will be optimal. This is for a few reasons.

First, it gives me time to plan goals I want to achieve over the next four months. The current heatwave is putting a damper on my jogging routine, but I'm looking forward to it cooling off later this week so I can hopefully get some miles in. I also have various volume goals to lay out; seeing what is realistically possible over the next four months, while scheduling around getting the hell out and going on some adventures.

Second, September is going to be an isolation month of sorts. I'm going to be focusing very hard on the volume aspect once again. It's just going to be more of what works for my schedule as far as good poker playing hours, or when I most enjoy logging sessions, which is generally on the weekends because the games are the best.

I also want to begin and learn a side game. I've always talked about wanting to transition into cash, but I think the best option for getting into cash right now would be PLO. I think my understanding of NLH is at a point where I can take that and mold a great PLO game, and in turn have the PLO game open my eyes to some things I may not have realized about NLH. I'm going to work out more details on this latter, it will likely be a hobby filler. No excuse not to learn another money-making hobby.