Verbatim

Autobahn

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 08:08:00 +0000

A motorway in Germany was closed
for hours as emergency crews
scraped frozen sauerkraut
off the road.

The pickled cabbage had spilt
from a lorry involved in a crash
near Frankfurt, freezing immediately
in the cold conditions.

A news story from the 'Weird but Wonderful' section of the Sunday Times, 12th February 2012. Submitted by Thom.

Liber Amoris

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

To have crossed the Alps with me
to sail on sunny seas
to bask in Italian skies
to have visited Vevai and the rocks of Meillerie
and to have repeated to her on the spot
the story of Julia and St. Preux

She's a strange, almost an inscrutable girl
It is all over, and I know my fate
its giant-shadow, clad in air and sunshine
my courage failed me
its enormous but graceful bulk
You are struck with the point of a rock
The truth is, I never saw anything like her

From Liber Amoris or the New Pygmalion by William Hazlitt, 1823. The text comes from the very end of Part II, 'Letter the Last', and the beginning of the first letter of Part III. Submitted by Grace.

Here

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

There is still snow on the trees; it is that kind of snow.
One sees it out of the windows here
like some extraordinary garden.
It is the kind of snowfall about which girls write verse.

There is an uncommon silence
when I walk Federico to the school bus.
The light is eclipsed and lovely.
One wants to see it all so clearly.

From a journal entry by John Cheever in 1968. The Journals of John Cheever (Vintage Classics, 2010, first pub. 1991), p. 244. Submitted by Thom.

Swimming a Horse

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 08:58:00 +0000

During seasons of high water, men,
in traversing the plains,
often encounter rivers which rise above
the fording stage, and remain in that condition
for many days, and to await the falling of the water
might involve a great loss of time.

If the traveler be alone, his only way is
to swim his horse; but if he retains
the seat on his saddle,
his weight presses the animal
down into the water,
and cramps his movements very sensibly.

It is a much better plan
to attach a cord to the bridle bit,
and drive him into the stream; then,
seizing his tail, allow him to tow you across.
If he turns out of the course, or attempts to turn back,
he can be checked with the cord, or
by splashing water at his head.

If the rider remains in the saddle,
he should allow the horse to have a loose
rein, and never pull upon it
except when necessary to guide.
If he wishes to steady himself, he can
lay hold upon the mane.

From The Prairie Traveler by Randolph B. Marcy (Perigree Books, 1994, first pub. 1859), pp.62-63. Marcy, a U.S. army captain, wrote the guide at the request of the U.S. War Department. Submitted by Alexa.

Images of earth

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

The sky is clear over the Sahara Desert
It seems I am leaving the planet forever

The bond between Earth and its inhabitants
must be defended like a holy relic

I used to have dreams when I was a kid
Like an infant in the womb of my spacecraft

The night before you went up – did you sleep?
the rustle of my muscles moving over each other

The Earth was absolutely round
I could hear the sound of pipes whining below me

moving further and further away from the ship
and you are yourself a satellite

Only in my soul is there something unquiet
Enhancing our pleasure in these shapes

Then, of course, the realisation hit me
I waved to her, she didn’t see me

From The Home Planet (Images and Reflections of Earth from Space Explorers), (Macdonald Queen Anne Press, 1988), ed. Kevin W.Kelley. The lines come from the translated comments of different astronauts that accompany the photographs from space. Submitted by Winston.

What shall remain

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Our civilization will be known for our diaper landfills
and our nuclear waste sites
Other fragments of our culture might survive as well:
bits of Tupperware
mountains of lithium batteries
or maybe the traces of our highway system.

The foundation of a skyscraper might make
for a breakthrough excavation
but the islands of plastic bottles
floating in the oceans may prove puzzling.

Perhaps we will bury a cache of digital archives somewhere
to be deciphered one day
like the hieroglyphics on an Egyptian sarcophagus.

From the Design Observer review of A History of the World in 100 Objects by Neil McGregor. The review is written by Adam Harrison Levy. Submitted by Grace.

Edits

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Christmas episode.
Billboard of underwear
model in opening. Black.
Cup of tea or coffee prepared.
Fart sound. Tea served.
Black. Coffee served.
Two doctors are shown arguing with some physical contact as well.
Black. “Thank God
my husband is not my doctor.”
Coffee drunk, and coffee machine
in the background. Black.
Scene in operating room. A baby is born. Non-graphic
and the baby is covered with a cloth.
“Thank God.” “If God”
“If God really
chooses to bless
me” Black.

Taken from KBYU Edits Sheet for a Christmas Episode of "Doc", starring Billy Ray Cyrus on the 1st February 2012. Submitted by Ben.

We've got a different CD player now

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 09:00:00 +0000

We’ve got a different CD player now
and so tonight we are here
listening to the two versions
of this song, which is
about divorce.
If it weren’t so hateful, the song
might almost feel like an attempt
to climb out of the undertow
and get a breath of air:
it’s got recognizable situations,
phrases from real life,
the human touch.
But it sticks its head up
above the self-absorbed,
inward-gazing
morass
only to draw attention
to the immeasurable depth
of it all. This is
a mean thing to do.

An undated blog post on the website Last Plane to Jakarta, about the Radiohead song 'Morning Bell'. Submitted by Haley.

Shreddies

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:52:00 +0000

(for Fred Goodwin)

For a few years, Shreddies' advert campaigns
featured a cartoon personification
of 'Hunger' as an antagonist.

He appeared as a blue monster with big teeth
whose goal it was to taunt hungry individuals
by drumming on their stomachs
with a pair of silver spoons.

Hunger would then be dispatched
when the victim consumed
a bowl of shreddies,
sealing hunger inside a shreddie cage.

Despite his troublesome persona,
hunger was frequently used as a mascot
for the cereal during this period.

Taken from the Wikipedia entry on Shreddies on 1st February 2012. Submitted by Nick.

Five People Liked His Status

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

I swear,
to everything I got,
I’ll defend my baby
till the end.

If a short,
little motherfucker
wants to
try and threatened
her for saying
something
to a freeloading skank,
who calls her mom
a bitch,
then I got a problem
with him.

Or else what
motherfucker?
Threaten her again
and I’ll show you.

From a Facebook status last year. Submitted by BJ.

Open Grave in a Public Place

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Grip the fork in your right hand
with as much strength as possible.

With your left hand use sharp
downward blows in a circular motion.

If you are uncertain,
lift up the palm of your hand
as shown in the diagram

WARNING
Quick questions
Will guarantee
A serious bodily injury

Fitting instructions for a quick release Shimano bicycle wheel. Submitted by Winston.

On the surface

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

Greed probably undid her in the end.
She was said to have taken a bait of uncooked tiger nuts,
which swelled inside her until she floated upwards.
Telltale empty paper bags were found on the bank of the river.
Or she may have been pregnant,

with 300,000 eggs causing complications, or stressed
after so much catching and releasing,
those constant brushes with extinction.

On the line between life and death, at Kingfisher Lake,
she breathed the fatal air and did not sink again.
And there she lay,
like Wisdom drawn up from the deep:
as golden, and as quiet.

From the Economist, the obituary of Benson, England's best loved fish. Submitted by Mat.

The Great Money Engine of State

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:35:00 +0000

(after Macaulay)

All who could help or hurt at Court,
ministers, mistresses, priests, were
kept in good humour by presents
of shawls and silks, birds’ nests and
attar of roses, bulses of diamonds,
bags of guineas.

Lord Macaulay, as quoted in an article in the Economist about the East India Company, 17th December 2011. Submitted by Rishi.

Post-Painterly Abstraction

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

for Helen Frankenthaler

She departed from the romantic search
for the sublime to pursue her own path,
pouring turpentine-thinned paint
in watery washes onto raw canvas
so that it soaked into the fabric weave
becoming one with it.

Her method emphasized flat surface
over illusory depth and the nature of paint,
releasing color from the gestural approach
and romantic rhetoric of Abstract Expressionism,
landscapes looking to many like a large paint rag
casually accidental and incomplete.

From the biography of Helen Frankenthaler in the New York Times. Phrases have been picked from the article and put together, in order, instead of one whole excerpt. Submitted by Jenni.

Petrifaction

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 08:31:00 +0000

This happens to bone marrow
in the hollow
bird-y
dinosaur bones,
it’s very pretty.
it’ll seem like a solid
black fossil but
if you accidentally
break
it
you see it looks
like it’s filled with crystals

Taken from a comment on a blog post about petrification, written on the 21st December 2011. Submitted by Haley.

You can say I am a hater

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 10:54:00 +0000

You can say I am a hater
but I would argue I'm a lover
I'm a lover of traditional families
and of the right of children
to have a father and a mother

I believe the earth gets warmer
and I also believe the earth gets cooler

is anyone saying same-sex couples
can't love each other?
I love my children
I love my friends, my brother
heck, I even love my mother-in-law

Quotes by Rick Santorum, candidate for Republican nomination in the US Presidential elections 2012. Specifically, quotes as they appear in Rick Santorum Quotes As New Yorker Cartoons posted by Jack Shepherd. Punctuation has been stripped out and the 'I'm' of line one turned back to two words for the irresistible rhythm. Submitted by Gabriel.

Father Rabbit

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:00:00 +0000

He;
Is disciplined and discerning
irons his pillowcases and tucks his sheets in
with hospital corners
prefers the cold side of the pillow
suggests if you are going to do it, do it
properly or not at all
prefers you finish what you started
likes his crème brulee unadulterated and his
pancakes thin
is meticulous in his laundry, preferring freshly
washed and smelling of lavender
uses a top sheet

Taken from the website of Father Rabbit Ltd. Submitted by Marika.

The Differences Between Dogs and Cats

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:11:00 +0000

The most obvious external differences
are visible in the head.
Dogs have wider and shorter heads
and a more U-shaped
than V-shaped snout.
For hard-to-distinguish specimens,
the protruding tooth is the most reliable feature
to define a species.

Dogs lack the jagged fringe which appears
on the hind legs and feet of the cat,
and the toes of the hind feet are webbed
not more than halfway to the tips.
Dogs strongly prefer freshwater,
and cats can better tolerate seawater
because of specialized glands for filtering out salt.

Dogs also tend to be darker in color than cats
often nearly black
but color is very dependent on water quality.
Algae-laden waters produce greener skin,
and tannic acid from overhanging trees
can often produce darker skin.

When cleaning dog pools,
some zookeepers can tread on dogs
without eliciting a response,
though cats almost invariably react aggressively
and are for the most part
more aggressive in their natural habitat.

From a Groupon offer page. Submitted by Patty.

Shema

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 09:00:00 +0000

I am the coat
I am the jumper
I am the coat
I am the jumper

I am the magic dress

Signs in the window of French Connection in Newcastle, spotted on the 17th October 2011. Submitted by Marika.

I decided not to save the world

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 10:46:00 +0000

It is of utmost importance
that we repeat our
mistakes as a reminder to
future generations of
the depths of our stupidity

An advert for an exhibition at the Tate Modern, spotted on Jonny Baker's blog on 16th December 2011. Submitted by Marika.

Shoreham harbour

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:00:00 +0000

In the harbour a single Guillemot
and two Purple Sandpipers roosting
with Turnstones on the inner wooden breakwater
and Peregrine sitting in the nest box
on the Power Station chimney.

Widewater; I searched the entire length
of the beach from the flats to the sailing club
without finding the Snow Buntings once again.

On the beach a single Rock Pipit
and twenty-four Sanderling, off shore little other
than a few regular gulls.

From the Sussex Ornithological Society, a Recent Sightings post by Bernie, 12 Dec 2011. The post has been topped and tailed, and the word 'very' removed from line 10. Submitted by Gabriel.

Papa Don't Shoot

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 09:01:00 +0000

"Papa rushed into the room”
Rola El-Halabi
told the newspaper. "He threatened us with
a gun in his hand and shouted
‘Everyone out!’ And then he shot me
in the hand from three meters.
I cried and screamed."

Bild reported that El-Halabi split
from her stepfather as a manager
in January. “When I had problems
I could talk with him about anything,
except when it was about boys,”
El-Halabi said.
“That was taboo.”

Taken from a news story on April 3, 2011 about a female boxer in Germany, shot in the hand by her stepfather before a bout. Submitted by Marika.

The Passenger and the Privy

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:52:00 +0000

I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station
and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit.
I am therefor went to privy.

Just I doing the nuisance that guard
making whistle blow for train to go off
and I am running with LOTAH in one hand
and DHOTI in the next

when I am fall over and expose all shocking
to man and female women on platform.
I am got leaved Ahmedpur station.

This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung
that dam guard not wait train minutes for him.
I am therefor pray your honour to make big fine
on that guard for public sake.

Otherwise I am making big report to papers.

A letter of complaint sent in 1909 to the Sahibganj divisional railway office in West Bengal. Source: New Delhi Railway Museum, via Letters of Note. Submitted by Gabriel.

Insects In General

noreply@blogger.com (Marika) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 09:54:00 +0000

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failures unless it comes through your own fault

Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

Taken from a letter by F. Scott Fitzgerald to his 12-year-old daughter Scottie, away at summer camp. Submitted by Marika.

The Complaining Lunch Queue Riposte

noreply@blogger.com (Gabriel) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:42:00 +0000

However the children complain
that they have to wait
they are hungry
they have less choices
they should even not have to wait
because they have their own lunch—
maybe this is all done deliberately
maybe temporarily
in order to teach them patience.

Why not?
They are not starving to death.
Should everything be easy?
Life is not like that.

Personally I trust the school.

From a Google groups message written by a parent at my child's primary school. He wrote it as a reply to a stream of complaints from other parents that their children were having to wait too long to get their lunch. Commas removed. Submitted by Gabriel.