Today is the Internet’s 40th Birthday. Thank you Internet, for bringing me Homestar Runner, Failblog, and a place for people with every imaginable fetish ever to congregate. Oh and thanks for my livelihood, too. Now go order me a pizza.

It’s also National Oatmeal Day. Hope someone alerted your bowels.

Happy National Cat Day. Thank you Internet, for your abundance of lolcats.

If you’re in New York City, this is why you’re fat may be coming to a street near you. Sometimes when I’m feeling fat from the prior night’s Taco Bell, I just check out their blog and get full.

Tomorrow on October 30th, the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast took place 26 years ago, in 1983. If you’ve never heard it, go listen to it. It had people thinking the world was ending.

And finally, bizarre Facebook ads

I don’t understand why this needs to be in children’s writing

If you can make sense of this, then tweet me @vcardillo.

Oh and I almost forgot: What I learned today
Kids are way more fun that adults. Work after five today became filled with children running around in costumes and collecting candy from everyone’s office. It’s so fun to watch them do this. And then later, there was a piñata. Now, the candy in this was totally lame (in my opinion). But it didn’t matter to the kids. There was still a mad dash towards the candy from every kid in the room, as if that stuff were gold. But if it were gold, they probably wouldn’t care anymore. Only us adults would. Do the details really matter, as long as you’re having fun and surrounded by good company? I want to be a kid again (a Toys ‘R’ Us kid, preferably).

Bed bugs at Mediavest, in NYC
Disgusting? Yes. Leave it to NYC to be filthy.

Advertising vs. Reality
A hilarious comparison of food packaging imagery, versus what it looks like once you actually make it.

Cheerleader Gets Flu Shot, Now Can Only Walk Backwards
A sad story indeed.

Hulu to Begin Charging in 2010
Why? Just, why?

My favorite overheard quotes of the day
“Can we post this onto the Twingle?”
“Do you think this should go onto that FaceSpace thing?”
“They like their logo big. So start out smaller than normal, and by the end, it may actually be a normal size.”

What I learned today
Today my co-worker informed me that it is now officially taboo to cover your mouth with your hand when you cough. Instead, and what children are now being told, is that you’re supposed to cough into your elbow. Why? Because then the germs are on your clothes, instead of on your hand. Makes more sense? I thought so. Looks classy too. I guess instead of hand sanitizer we now need elbow sanitizer.

On Twitter I decided to ask people, if society went to shit, what’s the number one thing they’d miss?
I was disappointed with my answers. Amuse me better next time, people. Answers included “The internet”, “Life”, and quite possibly the weirdest, “toilet paper with aloe lotion.” Okay, no one actually said that. That’s the thing I’d miss most. Don’t laugh. That stuff is possibly better than the Internet.

Well that’s all. Go check your Myface and your Tweeter now. Isn’t that what kids do?

Now that you’ve asked me if I’ve gotten it, I probably don’t want to read it anymore. What’s the point? It’s like you’ve already unwrapped the present for me. The surprise is ruined.

some common phrases

• “Did you get that email I just sent you?”
• “Did you get my email?”
• “Hey did you see that email from Sue?”
• *phone rings* “I just sent you an email.”

My favorite is the two-timing double-whammy email-with-phone-call-followup. For some reason, it’s necessary to click the send button while simultaneously calling me, only to ask if I’ve received your email yet. What you really mean when you ask is, “Did you read my email?” The answer is no, I haven’t, or I obviously would have replied to you… maybe. Email offers such an effective way to remain impersonal. If I don’t want to deal with you, then I simply delete your email. Gone, poof, as if the problem has rectified itself.

I often find myself writing an email to people down the hall from me. And when I’m done writing, I plan to walk to the kitchen, whereby I’ll pass their desks, and probably ask, “did you get my email?” That’s when I stop writing, and go walking. Human interaction: There’s still something to be had with it.

No, I didn’t get your email.

We, the people of this nation, fully understand, and knowingly agree with, the below writings in full:

America is based on capitalism, and merits. Major corporations function on the idea of a meritocracy. High positions must be earned, and only those rightfully deserving are promoted as such. In reverse, those who are deserving are not held back in fear that they may prove better and more productive than someone who currently resides in an upper level. Promotions and positions are given based on merit, and removed based on merit. Those who are productive achievers merit advancement, and those who fail at productive achievement merit removal.

Smith is a negative asset to this country. Any national system should take the honor, dignity, and respect of its citizens as a virtue, and with the utmost of sincerity. It should recognize those who display such virtues, as positive figures. The belittlement of citizens in front of foreigns is unacceptable, as is the belittlement of citizens in any setting whatsoever.

A productive country begins with productive citizens. Citizens cannot be productive when thinking is regarded as a depravity, and certainly can not be productive without the tools to do so. Smith discourages independent thoughts and actions, and will then wonder why those under him are being neither thoughtful, nor independent. When punishments are given at a constant rate, citizens will do whatever is necessary in order to avoid punishment in the first place. In an engineered environment such as this, avoiding punishment means becoming a robot. Do x. Do y. Do z. Without independent thought and action, and by only doing exactly what is defined, is it possible to avoid being blamed when something goes wrong. With the removal of positive reinforcements, comes the removal of independent thought, comes the removal of the desire for achievement, meaning that productivity is destroyed…

The rest is unreadable.

but it wasn’t T-Mobile’s fault!

I’m seeing this argument from a lot of people, and I’m not exactly sure why. Everyone wants to blame Microsoft (who now owns Danger). Microsoft isn’t without blame, but neither is T-Mobile. In trying to counter my point, someone asked me, “Who hosts the websites of your clients? If their sites failed, would you be blamed?” This is actually a perfect analogy. The answer is a 3rd party hosts them, and yes, we’d still be blamed. Why? Because we recommend the vendors, and we advise our clients whom to work with. Our customers aren’t responsible for making sure they’re using the right vendors, we are—That’s what they’re paying us for. The same applies to T-Mobile.

T-Mobile sells the Sidekick, charges for it, and contracts with Microsoft/Danger to provide the data services. That does not make T-Mobile inculpable for the recent events. T-Mobile would certainly have its own internal set of rules and standards regarding the storage and treatment of customer’s personal information. Their CIO is ultimately responsible for ensuring these standards are met. Just because a 3rd party is providing the services does not abdicate oneself from ensuring the vendor implements and upholds your standards.

This was absolutely T-Mobile’s fault, for their failure to monitor Microsoft/Danger, and oversee that their practices were up to T-Mobile’s standards. Had T-Mobile taken the necessary steps to work with Microsoft/Danger, this might have been avoided. Going back to my analogy, if a client’s website is completely lost thanks to the company that provides the hosting services, then we, the agency, are ultimately answerable and responsible, not the hosting company. The scenario is the same. T-Mobile should have done more to watch over the situation at Microsoft/Danger, especially considering T-Mobile’s stake in the Sidekick brand.

It will be interesting to see what happens Monday, when the next statement from T-Mobile is scheduled to appear to customers.

UPDATE: I am not the only one who feels this way. And based on the timestamps, Engadget and I were writing this at almost the same time.

“T-Mobile, a sideline player in this carnage that ultimately still shoulders responsibility for taking users’ cash month after month and keeping tabs on the robustness of its partners’ workflows. We’re betting that heads are going to roll at both of these companies…”

Weird.

On September 1st her new book and website launched. Check it out at ordinaryinjustice.com.

Website Designer Wanted!!! be sure to use multiple exclamations

I’m looking for someone able to build a cutting-edge website for a slicing-edge company. There is no pay, but there is great opportunity for future revenue. This is really the kicker opening, and sure to attract.

We need someone who has the latest skills in website design, marketing, and SEO. We want blogs, and members, and a top ranking on Google. We need our members to be able to blog while driving, and to be able to drive while blogging. So there’s some serious UI considerations here, meaning you also need to be an expert in UI design and testing. Sounds pretty simple so far!

This website needs to be a site for the web. If you don’t understand the web, then you need not apply. If you don’t know everything about internetular websites, then you should look elsewhere. You should also be good at making coffee, and using Powerpoint. The entire website should be created in Powerpoint, and then ported over to an Adobe PDF for viewing on the web. You also need to plan on coupling an Adobe Flash into the Powerpoint, so that it can then be exported to an SEO viewer for the web. The website also needs to play a song from my favorite record. This is pretty basic for anyone in a college that teaches the interwebs.

Lastly, you need to be able to read a Word document, because all of my programming requirements are in a Word document. You should be able to just do File->Save For Web and then make the website. This shouldn’t really take a lot of time for you. My thoughts have been typed into a computer, and therefore the computer simply needs to execute my typing. But that’s where you come in. And I can’t really afford to pay you a lot, because I’m on a budget. I can pay you in giraffe poop deodorant, because that’s what my website will be selling. Oh, I forgot to mention that you just need to have e-commerce abilities in this website, as well. But that should be easy for a pro like you.

So, if you’d like to make no money, working for someone who knows nothing about what they’re asking for, please contact me. I mean, it’s not as though roofers or carpenters or mechanics get paid. They just dictate their commands into the Matrix and shit just happens. That’s reality… the reality of your skills being worth nothing to me. I guess if you need some money though, I can offer you ten freaking dollars for some coffees or something. But that’s really pushing it.

So, by using this example posting on Craigslist, you’re sure to get lots of attention! I hope this helps you make your webular dreams come true!

• I don’t receive some channels I used to.
• I have to buy special converter equipment.
• The signal is either there, or not there. There is no in between “fuzz” as with normal analog. “No signal” is really a popular show.

Thank you Clinton, for signing this ridiculous and awful bill. Thank you U.S. government, for screwing up my DTV converter box coupons, and never sending them to me.

The U.S. government can’t even handle properly dispensing a coupon, yet I’m supposed to trust they can fix our economy? Yeah, okay.