Where did the term, rule of thumb come from? Why not just call it a rule? Or thumb to live by is kinda catchy. Here’s a thumb to live by – When traveling with buddies, pick the lesser of two eeeeechs. Another? The best short cuts take the long way around. Finally. Know when to quit.
1st Thumb to live by: Pick the lesser of two eeeeechs. Some people do their best thinking in the shower. Recently, the notable cerebral gymnastics happened after the shower. In fairness to our host, he did say, “Bring your own towel since none were at the ranch.” Correction, there was one towel. A luxurious, plush, bathroom hand towel. Perfect for an Oompa Loompa.
Traveling to a south Texas for a guy’s trip, none of us remembered our “bring a towel” suggestion. Combine that with the Darwinian, competitive nature of dudes relative to drying off with a used towel – you’ve got a formula for eeeeech.
With the shower turned off, the mind kicked on. “Okay, this used towel’s the size of a Chili’s menu. Where exactly has it been? Chances are most of said towellette’s real estate visited nether regions of the previous guy… eeeeech. Drip dry? Sure. Shake a leg. Then the other. Use hand to squeegee water back into tub. Not enough. How about - college hazing romp through the ranch house to do the ol’ commando air dry? No. Too weird. Bingo. Do T-shirt towel-off. Better to mitigate the effects of a shower with your own dirty T-shirt than a used Willy Wonka staff lounge towel.”
2nd Thumb: The best short cuts take the long way around. Figuring out what it takes to win is a constant pursuit for anyone chasing higher ground. The short cut is; you get better results with more up-front effort.
David Sedaris’ brain doesn’t work like normal humans. His writing is offbeat and clever. He can morph any situation into a twist on rational thought. An interesting tidbit surfaced from Sedaris’ Chipmunk Seeks Squirrel promotional interview. For this latest book, he wrote 25 stories then took the very best 10.
Flashback to a comment in the Music World Entertainment studios where Beyoncé recorded her music. COO John Cawley said she recorded 32 songs to come up with the 12 best selections.
From these two examples you can interpret a 2.5 to 1 formula for excellence. If you’re single, you need to date at least three people to come up with one keeper. (Save time. Date all three at once.) Have kids? Odds are one will delight while the other couple require unconditional love. If you’re hiring a contractor, interview two and a half (which one the half is will be abundantly obvious). If you’re writing a proposal, take at least two or three shots at it and pick the best one. (Your competition will only write one.)
Opposing Digit 2.5: Know when to quit.
Very interesting find by Howard Getson.
Late one night I felt like watching a movie, and I only had two unopened DVDs to choose from: Memoirs of a Geisha and Brokeback Mountain. Where’s a brainless movie with flatulence and destruction—or both—when you need it?
Memoirs was my second choice because I’d read the book, but Brokeback Mountain… late at night… alone… on my sofa? It seemed a bit odd.
Then I thought, “Who cares?” I hadn’t seen the movie. So what if it had a couple of cowpokes light in the ropers. It won a few Oscars and I carried no phobias. Reason enough.
I unwrapped the DVD, plopped it into the tray, set the lights to an ember glow, and with a similar languidness in which Adam extended his hand toward God on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, I pointed the remote toward the television. Click.
Within minutes after the film began I recognized the countryside. It was my old stomping ground. Time had turned back. The Ranchers reminded me of many a Calgary Stampede. The mountains in the western horizon triggered a heartwarming sentiment.
When the two cowboy “friends” hopped onto their horses and headed into the mountains, my eyes widened. I realized they were riding in the exact area where I’d saddled up with my buddy Dale a few years prior. Even the characters’ campsite looked familiar.
I marveled at the film’s cinematography. The images closely conveyed what it was like being there in person. The stunning majesty of the Rockies, hypnotic streams, velvety sunsets casting mammoth shadows across breeze-filled valleys, a crackling fire launching sparks that faded into the starlit sky, beers until we yawned, scuttling into the tent and…
< Cue needle scratching off vinyl record. >
In no way, whatsoever, did the rest of the movie resemble what Dale and I experienced. Listen, the sound of Dale snoring is exactly like a revved-up chainsaw. One night he even sneezed a booger on my neck from clear across the other side of the tent. Romantic? I think not!
By the time the tent scene happened it was too late to call Dale and do that whole scream/whisper combo, “Have you seen Brokeback Mountain?”
It turned out he had. He was quick to add, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you Vince.”
“What?”
“I can’t quit you.”
In the Age of Speed it’s easier and more common than ever to jump to conclusions. The lesson here? Be careful with the conclusions you jump to on an every day basis. How quickly have we arrived at a conclusion given limited information?
Consider:
Christine O'Donnell as a Witch.Lindsay Lohan's rehab problems.
Wall Street's bonuses.
Isn’t it obvious?
Wall Street executives were getting hammered while O'Donnell was giving Lohan a ride on her broom to a camping trip in Canada.
We process information
through our cognitive filter. Your attitudes and beliefs make up your truth.
You then judge this information relative to your truth. You then act on that
judgment. Or you do nothing at all.
Then you get results that are either positive or negative.
Most of us adults think that our actions (or inactions) are the cause of our results.
Yet it’s the cognitive filter, how we think, that is the source of all our results.
Choose your
thoughts wisely!
What if you didn’t believe everything you think? How
different would your results be?
What if you didn’t believe everything you think about an ex-spouse, neighbor or family member? What if you had a shift in your belief, attitude and truth about that person? How different would the results you’re getting with that person be?
What if you didn’t believe everything you thought about a certain politician or fallen-from-grace celebrity? How much lighter would it feel to let go of that kind of judgment?
What if you didn’t believe everything you think about another country, culture or race? How much more curious and forgiving would you be?
The bottom line is, if you didn’t believe everything you think, you might just speed past problems and issues. You might just flow through life with a little more ease.
Or, stick to your closely held truths and make being right more important than being happy.
Not believing everything you think might just help you speed up the results you’re looking for in life.
Our family was invited to participate in a YWAM Homes of Hope trip to Ensenada, Mexico. There we would build a home for a family living in abject poverty. The Carranza Mora family existed in a one-room shack with two beds, a cooking area and a deteriorating nightstand. The father, Salvador Carranza, had a job in a local factory that barely supported his wife and two children. By giving them a home they would instantly be part of a group of families that have broken out of the cycle of poverty into a life of options – all within their own generation.
For those of us in love with instant gratification, the YWAM Homes of Hope formula is pretty amazing. In one weekend, with a concrete slab, a stack of lumber and a foreman, we joined other families in building a house. Thirty hours after erecting the first wall we participated in handing the keys to a fully furnished home over to a thunderstruck family. It was YWAM’s 2453rd home.
Our initial motivation of exposing our privileged children to the way millions of people live in other parts of the world was augmented by a way to contribute in such a direct fashion. Worlds away from throwing spare change into a donation jar, our kids helped with painting, hammering and well wishes. It was an unforgettable family experience.
The final evening, each Dallas family related their impressions. As our turn to speak approached, the auspicious timing of this event struck me. A couple of days later, the United States would inaugurate an African American President with the Bible that Abraham Lincoln was sworn in with. Lincoln’s dedication to equality of opportunity and the right to be treated with dignity was reflected in the events of the day.
Giving the gift of dignity was something I never considered an option. I spent my life giving the gift of hope or a realm of new possibility… but ‘dignity?’ The evolution of dignity has followed a rocky, yet progressive path. What was impossible a generation ago, is reality today.
I also thought about ‘the butterfly effect,’ a phenomenon, backed by the laws of physics. A small change in one side of the world results in a massive difference in the other. The beating of a butterfly’s wings in one hemisphere could change the path of a tornado in the opposite hemisphere.
It’s possible a difference to the Carranza Mora family might have extraordinary impact on the other side of the world, or at least, the other side of their street.
May the seeds of dignity continue to grow and thrive for generations to come.
When Apple first announced they were opening the iPhone to third party developers, Calvin saw a birth of a whole new platform. “The mainframe gave way to the desktop computer. The desktop gave way to the laptop, and the laptop is giving way to the iPhone,” says Calvin.
He threw himself in the middle of the Internet surge in the 90’s. Now he’s on the cutting edge of the ‘Internet in your pocket.’ Less than a year ago he founded Bottle Rocket to meet consumer’s desire to be conveniently connected anytime, anywhere.
This is not news. One estimate has iPhone apps (utility or game programs) at 13,000 and climbing from a dead start only 6 months ago. Bottle Rocket released eight programs virtually all at once. “I called them the essential eight. A friend renamed them to the crazy eight because I was crazy for doing this. Why not just do one? Then another. I did this because I wanted to rope-a-dope the App Store. I wanted to hit it with so many excellent apps that Bottle Rocket would instantly and forever be known as one of the top iPhone development companies in the world.”
In place of just
going fast, Calvin’s BIG approach seems to have worked. Wings, a flight
simulator, held the top 10 of 7,000 apps for a month. Voxie, a premium voice
recorder and messaging app, still holds the #2 spot in business apps. GasBuddy
was heralded as the new standard in cheap gas finding utilities, and Overnight
caught on by efficiently managing express shipments. Due to third party
interest, Bottle Rocket now offers custom application development to small and
large companies.
The common misperception in the Age of Speed is success is not ONLY about how fast you go. The way to get ahead is to add forethought to execution. Thinking big adds extra need for preparedness but, done right, $ signs might just flow from your head into your wallet.
Bottle Rocket and Calvin Carter are a good example of that!The quickest way to agitate someone is to press his buttons. It’s hard to tell if a sibling, spouse or roommate does it to hurt, out of habit or for the pure sport of it all. I can say for sure, when someone near me (hypothetically speaking, let’s say my wife) presses my buttons, I get worked up. (Followed by a retreat where I fantasize about all the comebacks I should have said. For example: “I know you are. So what am I?” or “Oh ya, Miss Poopy Pants” or the ‘lpblpbslpbslpbslpbs’ raspberry accompanied by the international sign for donkey ears.
In the great game of hockey, the term for the button pressers is “the Agitator.” Hockey (did I mention it’s a great game?) has role players: Goal Scorers, Enforcers, Grinders and Agitators. Each role helps the team win. Rough up a Goal Scorer and the Enforcer will pull your jersey over your head then relocate your nose with his fist. Grinders get the puck to the Goal Scorers. Agitators focus their attention on buttons - buttons on the opposing players – especially Gold Scorers.
Some Agitators take their role seriously. They want to get under your skin. Kenny Linesman from Boston then the Oilers’ glory days in the ‘70s and 80s was nicknamed The Rat. Claude Lemieux, who just retired, was nicknamed Pepe, as in Pepe LePew. One of the foremost agitators in the NHL today is Dallas’ Steve Ott (nicknamed Otter). Media have anointed Ott with a slogan, “Simply the Pest.
Ott realized early in his career a sharp tongue can rile up another team. In preparation for the 2001 World Juniors he learned insults in several languages. "I got in a little scrap with a Russian kid and he was just yelling in Russian, and I had no clue what he was saying, and he had no clue what I was saying," Ott said. "So I asked around, talked to some friends and found out a few things to say in other languages."
Today, Ott specializes in Finnish phrases. Recently he wanted to learn, "I'm going to come at you like a spider monkey," from the movie Talladega Nights. Now, if I said that to you, “Aion tulla milloin haluat hämähäkki apina,” you’d likely think I had a Cheeto stuck in my throat. But if you’re Finnish I might sufficiently take you off your game.
The bottom line is this. If you get paid to press buttons, then be the best gosh-darn Agitator you can be. Prepare with the verve of Steve Ott and you will instantly help your team.
Conversely, if you instinctively button-press, a talent perfected by some (like this friend of mine’s wife has where it really, really annoys him – which makes my friend mention it in passive aggressive ways), then hopefully you’d rethink your motivation. Otherwise you could end up hearing the comeback, “Aion tulla milloin haluat hämähäkki apina - lpblpbslpbslpbslpbs!”
One requirement on the Parenting Curriculum Vitae is disciplining. As you try to administer punishment you never know if you’re flailing or failing. We discipline to teach the concept of consequence. How can you expect your child to be ready to leave home after 18 years if the kid doesn’t understand the concept of cause and effect? So we play Whack a Mole with best-guess parenting.
Last year, teachers informed us our son was out of line and rightfully looked at us to solve “the problem.” So we took away Max’s band for six weeks. He had gigs and practices. Our intention: teach him the concept of consequence. You step out of line you get punished. The problem was we beat him down more than the teachers were already doing five days a week. Max was miserable.
Amidst our Whack A Mole parenting we sought the advice from Candace Fitzpatrick, President of Core Clarity. Candace knows a lot about helping children and teachers maximize the strengths of students for measurable benefits in the classroom. When we shared our strategy with her, we expected the same response we got from all parents we told. (Parents do this when they get together. They talk about their kids to the point of hives, uncontrollable twitching and medical attention.) The universal response was always, “Good for you. It’s hard to punish your kid but you have to do it. I bet he sure learned his lesson.”
Yet Candace said immediately, “That was a mistake. What you did was take away something that gave him joy and energy. This creates less enthusiasm and more problems.” She was right. Our punishment didn’t solve anything. It wasn’t until months later we discovered Max had dyslexia and was acting-out from frustration. This year we moved him to a school for children with learning differences.
The joy and enthusiasm is back. But he’s still a kid with lapses in good judgment. Recently we found out he was signing my name on homework sheets instead of proper authorization. Meanwhile his marks were suffering and Max was just getting by. We needed to punish him but Candace’s advice was not lost on us.
This time the six-week punishment involved two things. In his room by 8:30 pm. (Max loves to stay up late.) And his cell phone charges in the mudroom. (Eliminating interruptions or texting distractions at night.)
The net effect? Max gets more sleep. His “punishment” is over but his marks have gone up and his level of joy and enthusiasm is even higher. We asked Max if he thought continuing the curfew was a good idea and he did.
So in the world of good parenting I guess we can “whack a mole” every once in a while.