Benedetti: “El amor es una cumbre”

That’s why this video clip is so funny to me. Cristina Kirchner, the current president of Argentina, has some snarky words for Obama. In a recent political speech, she sarcastically wondered aloud if Obama had been reading up on General Juan Perón, (dictator and husband of Evita). Kirchner also claimed that Obama was copying her (and her husband’s) economic model. (Her husband, Néstor Carlos Kirchner, was president of Argentina from 2003 until 2007 when Cristina was voted to succeed him in the position.)

Her comment about political plagiarism is laughable. That would be like me adopting an orphan from Africa and then holding a press conference to yell “copy cat!” the next time Madonna or Angelina Jolie decide to do the same. (Peruvian journalist Jaime Bayly, who appears in the following video, thinks la Sra. Kirchner is a little wacko too.)

Does Cristina Kirchner really believe that Obama even thinks about Argentina? In fact, it’s doubtful that he even knows who she is, as evidenced by the following video. Maybe her recent comments are a way to get back at Obama for this public snub or perhaps it’s just to prop herself up and recast herself as a strong leader by making some tenuous association between herself and Barry? Either way, it’s pretty amusing.

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To listen to Part 1 of this conversation please visit Luis’ web site, Rojas Spanish Podcast. Be sure to check out his cultural video language-learning program and online Spanish-language community while you’re there.

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I guest blogged this week over at Notes from Spain about Pan de Vino, a bread made out of wine. Sounds almost biblical, don’t you think? Anyway it’s being developed by a Spanish winery and a single slice of the purple-hued bread supposedly will have all of the benefits of two copas de vino without any of the side effects. I’ll drink to that. :)   [Click here to see a photo of it.]

Neat twist on the traditional travel guide: Ruba.com. Regular folks, like you and I, upload our favorite travel photos, creating a visual travel guide which is then put on display online. Each photo has a brief, one paragraph description of the location. It’s a lot like Flickr, but with a travel focus and it’s a nice way to explore your next vacation destination without leaving home. There are already several of these Ruba travel guides for different parts of Spain, such as Asturias, Costa del Sol, the Canary Islands, etc. Below is one entitled “Moorish Architecture in Spain: 800 Years of Domination.” (Click on the box below to see the photos.)

A quirky movie called “The Limits of Control” arrives in movie theaters this weekend. I read the New York Times review and still don’t understand what the heck this movie is about. It was filmed entirely in Spain, so it might be fun to try to spot the landmarks or figure out where exactly various scenes were filmed. The movie was directed by Jim Jarmusch and stars indie film favorites Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Gael García Bernal and John Hurt, so if you’re into art house movies, this might be your kind of entertainment.

The following video clip is an odd scene between the lead character, -who doesn’t have a name but is called “Lone Man” in the film credits-, and the always reliably bizarre Tilda Swinton. Her “Usted no habla español, ¿verdad?” made me chuckle, for some reason.

A different clip of the Lone Man with another character is more promising. Although we’re watching the clip out of context, it seems to make more sense as a stand-alone scene and it has got a bit of humor, thanks to the always reliably amusing Bill Murray.

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ReVerb Spanish is not a rigid grammar study course. It is more like a supplement to whatever you’re currently doing with your Spanish. It’s not going to teach you Spanish grammar or go into a lot of depth with lengthy explanations. There are already a ton of web sites out there brimming with Spanish grammar explanations. What is harder to find, at least compiled and cataloged in one location, are easy-to-understand insights into Spanish verbs.

To that end, my objective is to keep things very simple and to act as your guide, pointing out nuances and variations of Spanish verbs that have similar meanings. For example, the Spanish verbs salir, irse, marcharse and largarse all generally mean the same thing: to leave. However, there is an underlying meaning with a couple of these verbs that causes native Spanish speakers to use them differently to convey specific meanings. Meanwhile the typical Spanish-English dictionary won’t bother to tell you the subtext. It can’t because that would require a lot of space, in some cases, to explain these nuances fully.

In this podcast you’ll get an introduction to the ReVerb Spanish podcast and the type of content I’ll be posting over there. Get immediate updates to the blog and podcast by subscribing either via RSS, by email, or through iTunes. I also put together a 6-page “Action Guide” with advice on ways to conquer Spanish verbs. You’ll get that automatically when you sign up for the ReVerb Spanish email list. Just enter your name and email in the little pop-up box that slides into view when you land on the web site.

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This podcast is an introduction to my latest web project: ReVerb Spanish. If I do it right, it is going to help you review, relearn and remember the different meanings and conjugations of Spanish verbs. This podcast contains 3 separate ReVerb Spanish episodes in one sitting. It includes the general introduction, a segment about Conocer vs. Saber and then an audio verb drill of the verb SER.

Also, as a bonus, I’ve thrown in a micro relato by Julio Cortázar. Below is the text of that story. What more could you ask for? Enjoy!

Haga como si estuviera en casa: Un micro-relato de Julio Cortázar

Una esperanza se hizo una casa y le puso una baldosa que decía: “Bienvenidos los que llegan a este hogar”. Un fama se hizo una casa y no le puso mayormente baldosas. Un cronopio se hizo una casa y siguiendo la costumbre puso en el porche diversas baldosas que compró o hizo fabricar. Las baldosas estaban colocadas de manera que se las pudiera leer en orden. La primera decía: “Bienvenidos los que llegan a este hogar”. La segunda decía: “La casa es chica, pero el corazón es grande”. La tercera decía: “La presencia del huésped es suave como el césped”. La cuarta decía: “Somos pobres de verdad, pero no de voluntad”. La quinta decía: “Este cartel anula todos los anteriores. Rajá, perro”.

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Last September, when I initially met Luis, I asked him to record the intro to the short story reading “Cine Prado“, which he gladly did. At the time the U.S. presidential campaign was still in full swing and Luis said he thought it would be nice to do a joint podcast about Barack Obama and his educational policies. I thought we should wait to see who won the election first, but Luis was pretty confident that Obama was going to win.

In any case, we did wait until after the election to record this conversation. Since Luis and I both have podcasts, we decided to split the interview into two parts. In Part 1 he talks about his professional background, how he came to be a U.S. citizen and the growing interest Americans have to learn Spanish. This part is available for download here on his blog. Next week I’ll post the second part of the interview here at “Voices en Español.”

In addition to the podcast, Luis and his wife Joan offer an instructional video program called “Viajando en español con Luis y Joan.” These premium videos feature Luis and Joan in various Spanish-speaking countries where they interview the locals and offer cultural and language insights. Joan also has a blog where she writes from first-hand experience about the joys and challenges of learning Spanish. Additionally, Luis is also planning to offer Spanish language classes via Skype, so even if you don’t live in St. Paul, there will soon be a way to have Luis as your personal Spanish teacher.

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Piracy on the high seas has been all over the news this month. What had been simmering on the U.S. news media back burner last year finally boiled over earlier this month when a group of Somalian pirates hijacked an American cargo ship and then demanded a $2 million ransom for the ship’s captain. For a few days there the tension and anxiety were extremely high as everyone wondered who would blink first: Pres. Obama or a group of Somalian teenagers wielding assault rifles. Fortunately, for the U.S., it ended like a Hollywood action movie, but the ordeal continues for numerous other hostages being held for ransom on other ships. Who’s going to rescue them?

I first heard of the growing problem of Somalian piracy last fall. My initial reaction was to make a dumb wisecrack about Johnny Depp and the Pirates of the Caribbean movies but these Somalian pirates are no joke.

This week’s podcast is about the piracy problem. We recorded the episode before the news broke about the American cargo ship and the rescue of its captain, so you won’t hear any mention of that news story in this podcast. But there are still plenty of interesting stats and historical context provided which explain what forces created the Somalian pirates and why they do what they do.

¡Piratas! transcript: Spanish text with English translation of key words and phrases used in the conversation. $2.50 Click on “Buy Now” button to purchase and download.

Photo of pirate by Giorgio Fochesato, used under license from iStockPhoto.com

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• Why are young Somalian men turning to piracy?
• How much money does a Somalian pirate make?
• What exactly does a pirate spend his cut of the ransom money on?

Get the answers to these questions and more in this podcast.

(P.S. Based on the accent and a very obvious clue given in the podcast, can you guess where my friend Eugenio is from?)

¡Piratas! transcript: Spanish text with English translation of key words and phrases used in the conversation. $2.50 Click “Buy Now” button to purchase and download.

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Romance Sonambulo

Verde que te quiero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar
y el caballo en la montaña.
Con la sombra en la cintura
ella sueña en su baranda,
verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Verde que te quiero verde.
Bajo la luna gitana,
las cosas la están mirando
y ella no puede mirarlas.

Verde que te quiero verde.
Grandes estrellas de escarcha
vienen con el pez de sombra
que abre el camino del alba.
La higuera frota su viento
con la lija de sus ramas,
y el monte, gato garduño,
eriza sus pitas agrias.
¿Pero quién vendra? ¿Y por dónde…?
Ella sigue en su baranda,
Verde came, pelo verde,
soñando en la mar amarga.

–Compadre, quiero cambiar
mi caballo por su casa,
mi montura por su espejo,
mi cuchillo per su manta.
Compadre, vengo sangrando,
desde los puertos de Cabra.
–Si yo pudiera, mocito,
este trato se cerraba.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
ni mi casa es ya mi casa.
–Compadre, quiero morir
decentemente en mi cama.
De acero, si puede ser,
con las sábanas de holanda.
¿No ves la herida que tengo
desde el pecho a la garganta?
–Trescientas rosas morenas
lleva tu pechera blanca.
Tu sangre rezuma y huele
alrededor de tu faja.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
ni mi casa es ya mi casa.

–Dejadme subir al menos
hasta las altas barandas;
¡dejadme subir!, dejadme,
hasta las verdes barandas.
Barandales de la luna
por donde retumba el agua.

Ya suben los dos compadres
hacia las altas barandas.
Dejando un rastro de sangre.
Dejando un rastro de lágrimas.
Temblaban en los tejados
farolillos de hojalata.
Mil panderos de cristal
herían la madrugada.

Verde que te quiero verde,
verde viento, verdes ramas.
Los dos compadres subieron.
El largo viento dejaba
en la boca un raro gusto
de hiel, de menta y de albahaca.
¡Compadre! ¿Donde está, díme?
¿Donde está tu niña amarga?
¡Cuántas veces te esperó!
¡Cuántas veces te esperara,
cara fresca, negro pelo,
en esta verde baranda!

Sobre el rostro del aljibe
se mecía la gitana.
Verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Un carámbano de luna
la sostiene sobre el agua.
La noche se puso íntima
como una pequeña plaza.
Guardias civiles borrachos
en la puerta golpeaban.
Verde que te qinero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar.
Y el caballo en la montaña.

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“It’s not easy being green.” - Kermit the Frog

In English green is a color that generally has positive connotations. In Anglo culture green is generally associated with money or with nature. The same is true in Spanish culture. However, in Spanish verde is a color that frequently has negative or less than positive associations. If any of you reading this know the reason why the color verde leads such a hard knock life in Spanish, please share it with us below in the comments section. In the meantime consider some of the idiomatic Spanish expressions that use verde.

un chiste verde: a dirty joke

un verde canalla: a dirty, rotten scoundrel

un viejo verde: a dirty old man, a pervert

una película o un libro con escenas verdes: a racy (i.e. erotic) movie or book

un perro verde: a weirdo

estar verde: to be green in the literal sense (unripe) and figurative sense (inexperienced).

estar verde de envidia: to be green with envy. I’ve seen this phrase in Spanish but think it would be more common to use the adjective muerto instead of verde in that phrase. Estar muerto de envidia.

poner verde a alguien: to tell somebody off or to talk negatively about somebody behind their back.

a buenas horas mangas verdes: This is an idiomatic expression that is difficult to come up with an exact equivalent in English. Closest I can think of is “too little, too late.” General idea of the Spanish expression is to show exasperation when something happens too late to be of any use.

For example, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have a long-term relationship. Piggy wants to get married and gives Kermit an ultimatum - “Marry me or else.” Kermit doesn’t believe his porcine pareja will really leave him, so he does nothing until Piggy moves out. Devastated, Kermit finally buys Piggy a ring and proposes. But Piggy is unmoved and says “a buenas horas mangas verdes,” which essentially means “nice gesture, but it’s meaningless at this point because it has come too late.”

This Spanish expression reportedly dates back to the 15th-century and the Reyes Católicos and a special military unit they had to respond to emergencies. The sleeves of the uniform of this military corps were green. However, the group developed a reputation for always arriving late and being generally unreliable, never around when the people really needed them in an emergency. Thus the expression a buenas horas mangas verdes was born.

In present-day Spain, the Guardia Civil wears green uniforms but I don’t know whether or not this law enforcement agency shares the same reputation for unreliablity and lack of punctuality as its 15th-century predecessor.

Photos from the “Kermit Series” by Andy

(Special thanks to Andy for giving me permission to reprint his delightful Kermit photos on this blog. Photos cannot be copied or reproduced without his permission.)

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What this means for those people exactly is, yes, you are on my email list, but no, I do not officially have your permission to send you emails.

Because spam is such a huge problem on the Internet, automated services that send out blog updates and e-newsletters will not send emails to people unless they “double opt-in”. That means that you must take an extra step and specifically give your permission saying that yes, you do want to receive emails from me.

Here’s how the process works:

1). You sign up for my email list by entering your email address in a form on my blog.

2). You get a confirmation email from either Feedburner or AWeber, the automated services that I use to send out updates. You must open this email, click on the link inside that email which confirms your permission.

Where a lot of people are getting tripped up is at Step 2. If your email account is configured to automatically delete or filter incoming email from unknown sources, it’s a pretty sure bet that this confirmation email that was sent to you was deleted by your email service.

Since you never saw the email, you never knew that you needed to open it and click on the link inside. And since you never responded, my email services have taken that lack of response to mean “No, I’m not interested in getting updates by email from Voices en Español, so don’t send me anything.” In the meantime, some of you who did go to the trouble of signing up, must be wondering, “gosh, I gave Eleena my email address but she doesn’t write, she doesn’t call, nothing. She just went poof!”

While your email hasn’t been deleted from my list, I’m not allowed to use it to communicate with you because my email services won’t allow me to until you confirm your permission. Can you see how complicated this gets?

So, for those of you who have subscribed to my email list but have never received a single email from me, please check your junk mail filter and add the following URLs to the “Safe” list inside your email account. They are:

feedburner.com, aweber.com and voicesenespanol[AT]gmail.com (But use the @ symbol. I had to type my email address like this to prevent it from getting picked up by spammers.)

What’s the difference between the emails sent by Feedburner and AWeber? Feedburner sends you an email containing the latest and complete blog posts as soon as they are published. It’s actually pretty cool since it contains the graphics, photos, audio, whatever is attached to the blog entry. It’s a great way to have the blog’s contents delivered directly to your inbox so you don’t have to personally visit the actual web site to read or access the content. AWeber sends you an email approximately six times a year with announcements or special offers only available to people on my list. You can be on either list or both. Your choice.

Feedburner:
Subscribe to Voices en Español » Full Content by Email

AWeber: Look for “Newsletter Signup” in the right-hand column of the home page of this blog.

And for those of you who aren’t on the list but would like to be, you can enroll as well following the steps outlined above.

Thanks!

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Prof. John Varriano, whose research is what prompted me to do this podcast, is an art history professor at Mt. Holyoke College in South Hadley, Mass.

Want to learn more about Leonardo da Vinci, the original Renaissance Man? The Museum of Science in Boston, Mass. has an excellent web site that covers Leonardo the Scientist, Leonardo the Inventor and Leonardo the Artist.

Music in this episode: “Morir non puo il mio cuore” and “Cantiem lieti cantiamo” sung by The Hilliard Ensemble

The transcript of this episode, “La Última Cena”,  is six-pages long. It contains the complete Spanish dialogue of the conversation plus the recipe with cooking instructions.

$2.50

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1. Leña al mono que es de goma = Wood to the monkey, it’s made of rubber

This Spanish phrase literally means to take a piece of wood and beat the crap out of a stuffed-animal monkey because it’s made out of rubber. It is an idiomatic expression used to cheer somebody on, to get them fired up.  Very loosely translated it would be something along the lines of  “Go for it! Crank it up! Kick some ass!” Unfortunately, there is no colorful equivalent in English. Could it be the PETA effect? Beating a monkey, even a rubber one, is definitely not PC.

2.  Pongo un circo y me crecen los enanos = I start a circus and the dwarfs grow up [height-wise] on me.

This is the Spanish way of saying “When it rains, it pours.”

Just think about it…what’s the worst thing that could happen to you if you opened a circus? The little people in your workforce experiencing a tremendous growth spurt! No government bailout is going to help you overcome that problem!

3. Lo pasamos como enanos = We had fun like midgets

The Spanish seem to have a thing for midgets. (Exhibit A: Las Meninas by Velázquez). Well, little people are used once again, this time to illustrate having fun. Lo pasamos como enanos means “We had a smashing good time” or “We enjoyed ourselves immensely.”

4. Nunca digas ‘de esta agua no beberé’….y que ‘este cura no es mi padre.’ = Never say “Of this water, I will not drink” and that “this priest isn’t my biological father.”

An extremely wordy way of saying “Never say never” in Spanish. But what a subversive expression it is en castellano.

5. pegársele las sábanas a alguien = The bedsheets stick to someone

A phrase that means “to oversleep” in Spanish. “Llegué tarde al trabajo porque se me pegaron las sábanas.” (Literally: “I arrived late to work because the sheets on the bed got stuck on me.” English meaning: “I arrived late because I overslept.”)

6. ponerse las botas = to put on one’s boots

This idiomatic expression means to stuff oneself with food. For example, “Me pongo las botas en la cena del día de Acción de Gracias.” (I stuff myself with food on Thanksgiving. I eat ’til I burst on Thanksgiving.)

What does putting on boots have to do with overeating? Ni idea.

7. pensar en la inmortalidad del cangrejo = to think about the immortality of the crab

This expression has been around for many, many years and is a humorous way to refer to daydreaming.

Do you have any personal favorite Spanish sayings that sound funny when translated literally to English or to your native language? Share them with us in the comments section below!

Photo: Confused Organutan, under license from iStockPhoto.com. Crab comic from Wikipedia.

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This year is the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s birth and the 150th anniversary of the publication of his landmark work “On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection,” which set the scientific world on fire for its theory of evolution. This week’s podcast is a brief historical look at the impact Darwin’s theories had on the intellectual community in Spain during the 19th-century.

Painting: “Monkey before skeleton” by Gabriel Cornelius Ritter von Max

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If you look closely at the bottle’s label you can see the funny inscription ["Es el mejor. La ciencia lo dijo y yo no miento"] on the monkey’s parchment. The monkey man is obviously a simian version of Charles Darwin. ¡Qué bueno!

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In Part 1 of this article, I talked about the benefits of doing language exchanges in a group setting. In this entry I’m going to give you some pointers on how to get the maximum out of these encounters. First things first:

What’s your primary motivation?
Be aware of your reasons for going. Are you serious about practicing Spanish? Or are you really just looking for people to hang out with? Only curious to see who shows up? Or is it a combination of all those things?

If you want to avoid speaking English or interacting with English-speakers be aware that there’s no escaping it. Since English is the “international language,” it is almost a given that the majority of people in attendance, no matter where they’re from, will speak some English. Also, many native English-speakers do attend, and often end up speaking together. My advice would be to go and to seek out the people that are also serious  about language-practice, and if you are going with friends, that they be similarly motivated to do so.

How can you tell if someone is serious about language practice? Well, they won’t be doing shots or knocking back drink after drink. In some settings, you may notice that they have a pen and paper or a small notebook on hand, and they will definitely be alert and focused on what other people are saying.

Don’t be afraid to approach someone and ask if they are there for the intercambio and if they want to practice. Of course “everyone is there for the  intercambio,” but when you ask this question it makes it clear that you are there specifically for the speaking practice. That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy yourself or make friends, but if practicing Spanish is your primary objective, make that your priority.

Spend an equal amount time practicing both languages. It’s obviously the best way to be fair to each person or group of people. It is also OK to change conversation partners throughout the event to get a better mix of speaking (and listening) at different paces, hearing a variety of accents and interacting with a cross-section of people. There’s no rule that says you have to talk to the same person all evening.

Come prepared with a few unusual questions and some interesting and fun general statements you can make about yourself in the foreign language you wish to practice. At the beginning it is primarily small talk, but make sure that your conversations aren’t always limited to the same old topics (name, nationality, what are you doing in Spain, where do you live, where do you go out, etc). Although I have become an expert at rattling off this boilerplate information with uncanny precision, it’s a bit dull repeating yourself.

Ask a variety of questions - perhaps something cultural [Which city would make a better day trip? Toledo or Segovia?], or something a bit more personal [What's the biggest tip you've ever left a waiter?] , or even something totally left-field [Jamón Serrano or jamón íberico?] - just to keep things interesting.

But whatever you do, stay away from politics or religion. At least in that first conversation.

And now a word to the wise, especially to the ladies. “Will you be my English teacher?” is a popular and rather tired pick-up line at these group events. Although many people (i.e. men) sincerely do want to practice the language, there are some who view the group intercambios as a dating pool and their real intentions are to find their next date, girlfriend or future wife. Obviously, if you hit it off with a guy and want to take things to the next level, that’s your business. But realize that some of the attention you get as a chica at these events might be coming from (male) attendees who have other ideas in mind. Just be aware of that dynamic so that your signals don’t get crossed.

Of course, if you want to keep things strictly platonic, the group intercambios are a great place to go to make new acquaintances, especially if you don’t care where your friends are from or what their native language is.  People of all nationalities and ages are present, with the largest representation being, of course, Spaniards, and then people from the U.S., U.K. or Australia.

It’s extremely easy to sit down with a group of people you’ve never met, start talking, and end the evening with a bunch of new phone numbers as well as plans for the weekend. After all, for the majority of people in attendance, the primary reason they’re there is to make friends, so the atmosphere is open and welcoming.  Don’t hesitate to smile and strike up a conversation, and don’t be too worried if you are a wallflower because someone will probably approach you.

Whatever it is that gives you an interest  in attending a group intercambio, be clear on your objectives (solely language practice/find party friends/meet soulmate) and respectful of other people’s priorities and their varying degrees of interest in language practice.  With this information in mind, all of your goals can  be met during a language exchange (except, perhaps, the soulmate one).

What’s been your experience with group intercambios? In the final analysis, what was the greatest benefit you got out of it?

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This is a guest post from Becca Moy, an English teacher who has been living in Madrid for a little over a year.  She calls Connecticut and California “home(s)”.  She spends far too much time on the Metro (Madrid’s subway) but enjoys the free newspaper and the always pleasant live music.  She is obsessed with Spain, just like yours truly, and thinks that’s pretty obvious to anyone who has met her over the last several years. This is Part 1 of a two-part entry.

In Madrid, I wouldn’t qualify myself as the type of person that has smooth first encounters. By “first encounters” I’m including everything from meeting people, finding my way to a new location without getting lost, figuring out things at the bank/post office/doctor, and renting a car, etc.

Perhaps this is due to my nature as a person that doesn’t spend much time anticipating what I might need to say or do, and just “giving it a go.” Perhaps it is because I have long forgotten the categorized lists of vocabulary within the structured chapters of my high school and college Spanish books (i.e. “Going to the grocery store!” “Juan visits the post office!”). Perhaps it is simply because I live and work in a foreign country.

Either way, after quite a bit of serendipitous learning (trial and error—mostly error) and repeat “encounters” I have become much more versed at normally simple things that had suddenly been made almost impossible in a different language. The ultimate “first encounter” scenario, however, take place in the almighty group “intercambios” that are held throughout the city. I categorize them as such because meeting people is the main activity within them, but also because I think it is important to set the tone for your first visit, especially if you are like me and go into many things less prepared than you thought you were. Thus, I will use my special talent at learning from my mistakes to give you advice about what makes a “bad”, “good”, or “excellent” intercambio—the quality of my own experiences going in that exact order, like most other things.

These “cultural exchanges” are held with the premise that people from all over the world can go, socialize, and practice a variety of languages. They are interesting on several levels, but mostly because people aren’t accustomed to doing anything similar back in their home countries. Usually held in the more tourist-heavy areas of the city, some more popular intercambios are organized in well-known Irish bars. They are easily located, especially for those university students that spend more time than is probably advisable wandering (or stumbling) around these areas. There are also trips, cultural events, parties and even dinners that are organized apart from the main weekly event. For those that attend these meetings regularly, groups of long-lasting friendships are often created…long-lasting at least throughout the duration of their stay in the city/country.

Here are Becca’s picks for popular group intercambio locations in Madrid:

Beer Station - Thursdays starting at 10pm, cuesta de Santo Domingo 22 (Metro Santo Domingo/Callao)
O’Neils Irish Pub -Tuesdays from 10:00 pm, c/Principe, 12 (Metro: Sevilla, Sol)
Cafe Madrid - Thursdays, 9:30 pm to 2 am, c/ Escalinata    (Metro: Opera)
Star Studio - Fridays, 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. c/ Salud 9 (Plaza del Carmen) (Metro: Sol, Gran Via)

Outside of Madrid, check MeetUp.com to see if there are any Spanish conversation groups that meet in your community.

Becca will be back later this week with advice on how to get the most out of these public meetings. In the meantime, follow Becca on Twitter.

Photo: “Friends” used under license from iStockPhoto.com

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Realizó sus primeros viajes a España atraído por la figura del Cid Campeador. Huntington hizo una edición en inglés del famoso Poema del Cid. También, a Huntington le fascinaba la arqueología. De hecho el sueño de Huntington era hacerse un verdadero arqueólogo. En 1898 tuvo su oportunidad de cumplir su sueño. En aquel año Huntington emprendió un viaje a España dirigiéndose a Sevilla, a la búsqueda de libros y también para sumergirse en la cultura. Cerca de Sevilla están las ruinas de la ciudad romana de Itálica, considerada secularmente como Sevilla la Vieja y durante su estancia en España, Huntington conoció al arqueólogo francés Arthur Engel, quien le ofreció la posibilidad de continuar sus excavaciones en un terreno que tenía arrendado y que se disponía a abandonar.

Sin vacilar, Huntington se hizo cargo del arriendo del terreno y comenzó así a excavar en Itálica, a las afueras de la ciudad romana, en una zona de necrópolis. Pudo así palpar de primera mano los vestigios y las huellas de los habitantes de la antigua e ilustre ciudad romana de Hispania fundada por Pubio Cornelio Escupión el Africano. La excavación, iniciada en febrero de 1898, hubo de ser bruscamente interrumpida en abril por el estallido de la Guerra de Cuba, pero la experiencia había sido, en opinión de Huntington, formidable.

Huntington, un gran bibliófilo, se dedicó por entero al conocimiento de la cultura hispana y a crear un museo para su estudio y difusión.

En *1908, diez años después de su primera experiencia en Itálica, Huntington fundó la Sociedad Hispánica de América (Hispanic Society of America) que hoy en día es uno de los museos más importantes de la cultura española fuera de España. Ubicada en la ciudad de Nueva York, la Sociedad Hispánica tiene una biblioteca con una gran colección de más de 250.000 libros que tienen que ver con España, Portugal y sus colonias. De esta cifra, 15.000 de estos fueron imprimidos antes del s. XVII. La biblioteca también contiene varios de las escritos de Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, una de los escritoras más importantes en la historia de la lengua española.

Ahora, en 2009, por primera vez en España, se muestra la colección arqueológica del señor Huntington. Hasta el 30 de abril de 2009, se puede ver la colección en el Museo Arqueológico Regional de Madrid. Luego, entre mayo y julio, se puede verla en Sevilla en el Centro Cultural de la Fundación Cajasol.

(*Correction: Huntington founded the Hispanic Society of America in 1904 and opened the museum in 1908.)

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Huntington’s interest in Spain and the Spanish language was so intense that he eventually founded the Hispanic Society of America, a library and a museum in New York City to house his collection of books, art and archaeological artifacts. Now, for the first time, el tesoro of Archer Milton Huntington is coming to Spain for a temporary exhibit in Madrid and in Sevilla this spring. Listen to this week’s podcast to hear more about el talentoso Sr. Huntington.

Photo: Huntington following the route of El Cid in 1892. From the Hispanic Society of America.

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Hay un poco de contaminación en San Francisco, pero en comparición con Los Angeles, hay poca. (San Francisco has some pollution but compared to Los Angeles, there’s little [pollution].)

Tengo un poco de dinero, si quieres te puedo prestar. (I have a little money. If you want, I can lend you some.)

Lo siento, pero tengo poco dinero, así que no te puedo prestar. (I’m sorry but I have very little money, so I can’t lend you any.)

The examples mentioned above have to do with poco/un poco plus nouns. When poco and un poco are paired with adjectives, their meanings diverge once again.

If you want to describe something as “un-” or “not” in Spanish, “poco” is your word.

Poco + adjectivo = Un (or Not) + adjective

poco agradable: unpleasant

poco amigable: unfriendly

poco atractivo: unattractive, not attractive

poco saludable: unhealthy, not healthy

poco inteligente: unintelligent, not intelligent

However un poco + adjective gets translated as “kind of”  or “somewhat” in English.

El menú del día de ese restaurante es un poco caro. Cuesta 15 euros. The menu of the day at that restaurant is somewhat expensive. It costs 15 euros.

La tienda está un poco lejos de aquí. No se puede llegar fácilmente a pie. (The store is kind of far from here.  It’s not within easy walking distance.)

Javier Bardem es un poco feo en la película “No es país para viejos”. ( Javier Bardem is kind of ugly in the movie “No Country for Old Men,”.)

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This New York Times travel sttory hits all the predictable spots the tourist guides always mention, (Prado Museum, Parque Retiro, Plaza Mayor, a flamenco club, etc.) but this time the Times did turn me on to a few places in Madrid that I was unaware of, such as Matadero Madrid. So I give their article a thumbs up, although the couple of mentions of shopping at trendy boutiques and eating overpriced dinners at haute cuisine restaurants just seemed so 2006. Crisis, ¿qué crisis?

NYTimes photos of a “Weekend in Madrid”

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I originally planned to only podcast “Las medias de los flamencos” on my other blog, Cody’s Cuentos, because it is a children’s story. But because Horacio Quiroga is such an interesting writer, I thought I would podcast the story here as well.

Just a little background about Quiroga. He had a very tragic, some would say a cursed life. Both his father and stepfather were killed in gun accidents. Later on, when he grew up, Quiroga accidentally killed his best friend with a gun while the two of them were inspecting it. It turns out that the friend had challenged another man to a duel and Quiroga offered to clean the gun for his friend. While Quiroga was handling the gun, it went off and shot his friend in the face.

Then Quiroga got a temporary dream job, at least for him, taking photographs in the jungle. He loved the jungle and even bought some terreno out in the wild with the intention of living off the land. But his young wife, who was from Buenos Aires, hated the living conditions and wanted to go back to the city. Quiroga refused. The situation between them got so bad that one day after they had a huge fight,  his wife poisoned herself. It took her a week to die.

Later on in his life, Quiroga became very ill and checked into a hospital in Buenos Aires where he met another patient who seemed to be in much worse condition than he was. This other patient was kept in the basement of the hospital and was suffering from “Elephant Man’s disease” which causes terrible facial disfigurement. Quiroga demanded that the patient be moved upstairs, with the other patients, and the two men became roommates in the hospital.

Quiroga, who had been diagnosed with terminal, inoperable cancer, committed suicide, in front of his hospital roommate, by taking cyanide. Like I said, he had a rough life.

Not surprisingly, a lot of his stories are very intense and dark in their themes and subject matter.  Both Edgar Allan Poe and Joseph Conrad, author of the Heart of Darkness, were influences in his writing. But after Quiroga’s first wife died, he wrote a collection of children’s stories  entitled “Cuentos de la selva” and this podcast features one of those stories.

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Un cuento uruguayo, escrito por Horacio Quiroga

Click here for a Spanish-English glossary of some words in this story.

Cierta vez las víboras dieron un gran baile. Invitaron a las ranas y a los sapos, a los flamencos, y a los yacarés y a los peces. Los peces, como no caminan, no pudieron bailar; pero siendo el baile a la orilla del río, los peces estaban asomados a la arena, y aplaudían con la cola.

Los yacarés, para adornarse bien, se habían puesto en el pescuezo un collar de plátanos, y fumaban cigarros paraguayos. Los sapos se habían pegado escamas de peces en todo el cuerpo, y caminaban meneándose, como si nadaran. Y cada vez que pasaban muy serios por la orilla del río, los peces les gritaban haciéndoles burla.

Las ranas se habían perfumado todo el cuerpo, y caminaban en dos pies. Además, cada una llevaba colgada, como un farolito, una luciérnaga que se balanceaba.

Pero las que estaban hermosísimas eran las víboras. Todas, sin excepción, estaban vestidas con traje de bailarina, del mismo color de cada víbora. Las víboras coloradas llevaban una pollerita de tul colorado; las verdes, una de tul verde; las amarillas, otra de tul amarillo; y las yararás, una pollerita de tul gris pintada con rayas de polvo de ladrillo y ceniza, porque así es el color de las yararás.

Y las más espléndidas de todas eran las víboras de que estaban vestidas con larguísimas gasas rojas, y negras, y bailaban como serpentinas. Cuando las víboras danzaban y daban vueltas apoyadas en la punta de la cola, todos los invitados aplaudían como locos.

Sólo los flamencos, que entonces tenían las patas blancas, y tienen como ahora la nariz muy gruesa y torcida, sólo los flamencos estaban tristes, porque como tienen muy poca inteligencia, no habían sabido cómo adornarse. Envidiaban el traje de todos, y sobre todo el de las víboras de coral. Cada vez que una víbora pasaba por delante de ellos, coqueteando y haciendo ondular las gasas de serpentinas, los flamencos se morían de envidia.

Un flamenco dijo entonces:

—Yo sé lo que vamos a hacer. Vamos a ponernos medias coloradas, blancas y negras, y las víboras de coral se van a enamorar de nosotros.

Y levantando todos juntos el vuelo, cruzaron el río y fueron a golpear en un almacén del pueblo.

—¡Tan-tan! —pegaron con las patas.

—¿Quién es? —respondió el almacenero.

—Somos los flamencos. ¿Tiene medias coloradas, blancas y negras?

—No, no hay —contestó el almacenero—. ¿Están locos? En ninguna parte van a encontrar medias así.

Los flamencos fueron entonces a otro almacén.

—¡Tan-tan! ¿Tienes medias coloradas, blancas y negras?

El almacenero contestó:

—¿Cómo dice? ¿Coloradas, blancas y negras? No hay medias así en ninguna parte. Ustedes están locos. ¿Quiénes son?

—Somos los flamencos— respondieron ellos.

Y el hombre dijo:

—Entonces son con seguridad flamencos locos.

Fueron a otro almacén.

—¡Tan-tan! ¿Tiene medias coloradas, blancas y negras?

El almacenero gritó :

—¿De qué color? ¿Coloradas, blancas y negras ? Solamente a pájaros narigudos como ustedes se les ocurre pedir medias así. ¡Váyanse en seguida!

Y el hombre los echó con la escoba.

Los flamencos recorrieron así todos los almacenes, y de todas partes los echaban por locos.
Entonces un tatú, que había ido a tomar agua al río se quiso burlar de los flamencos y les dijo, haciéndoles un gran saludo:
—¡Buenas noches, señores flamencos! Yo sé lo que ustedes buscan. No van a encontrar medias así en ningún almacén. Tal vez haya en Buenos Aires, pero tendrán que pedirlas por encomienda postal. Mi cuñada, la lechuza, tiene medias así. Pídanselas, y ella les va a dar las medias coloradas, blancas y negras.

Los flamencos le dieron las gracias, y se fueron volando a la cueva de la lechuza. Y le dijeron:

—¡Buenas noches, lechuza! Venimos a pedirte las medias coloradas, blancas y negras. Hoy es el gran baile de las víboras, y si nos ponemos esas medias, las víboras de coral se van a enamorar de nosotros.

—¡Con mucho gusto! —respondió la lechuza—. Esperen un segundo, y vuelvo en seguida.

Y echando a volar, dejó solos a los flamencos; y al rato volvió con las medias. Pero no eran medias, sino cueros de víboras de coral, lindísimos cueros, recién sacados a las víboras que la lechuza había cazado.

—Aquí están las medias —les dijo la lechuza—. No se preocupen de nada, sino de una sola cosa: bailen toda la noche, bailen sin parar un momento, bailen de costado, de cabeza, como ustedes quieran; pero no paren un momento, porque en vez de bailar entonces van a llorar.

Pero los flamencos, como son tan tontos, no comprendían bien qué gran peligro había para ellos en eso, y locos de alegría se pusieron los cueros de las víboras como medias, metiendo las patas dentro de los cueros, que eran como tubos. Y muy contentos se fueron volando al baile.

Cuando vieron a tos flamencos con sus hermosísimas medias, todos les tuvieron envidia. Las víboras querían bailar con ellos únicamente, y como los flamencos no dejaban un Instante de mover las patas, las víboras no podían ver bien de qué estaban hechas aquellas preciosas medias.

Pero poco a poco, sin embargo, las víboras comenzaron a desconfiar. Cuando los flamencos pasaban bailando al lado de ellas, se agachaban hasta el suelo para ver bien.

Las víboras de coral, sobre todo, estaban muy inquietas. No apartaban la vista de las medias, y se agachaban también tratando de tocar con la lengua las patas de los flamencos, porque la lengua de la víbora es como la mano de las personas. Pero los flamencos bailaban y bailaban sin cesar, aunque estaban cansadísimos y ya no podían más.

Las víboras de coral, que conocieron esto, pidieron en seguida a las ranas sus farolitos, que eran bichitos de luz, y esperaron todas juntas a que los flamencos se cayeran de cansados.

Efectivamente, un minuto después, un flamenco, que ya no podía más, tropezó con un yacaré, se tambaleó y cayó de costado. En seguida las víboras de coral corrieron con sus farolitos y alumbraron bien las patas de! flamenco. Y vieron qué eran aquellas medias, y lanzaron un silbido que se oyó desde la otra orilla del Paraná.

—¡No son medias!— gritaron las víboras—. ¡Sabemos lo que es! ¡Nos han engañado! ¡Los flamencos han matado a nuestras hermanas y se han puesto sus cueros como medias! ¡Las medias que tienen son de víboras de coral!

Al oír esto, los flamencos, llenos de miedo porque estaban descubiertos, quisieron volar; pero estaban tan cansados que no pudieron levantar una sola pata. Entonces las víboras de coral se lanzaron sobre ellos, y enroscándose en sus patas les deshicieron a mordiscones las medias. Les arrancaron las medias a pedazos, enfurecidas y les mordían también las patas, para que murieran.

Los flamencos, locos de dolor, saltaban de un lado para otro sin que las víboras de coral se desenroscaran de sus patas, Hasta que al fin, viendo que ya no quedaba un solo pedazo de medias, las víboras los dejaron libres, cansadas y arreglándose las gasas de sus trajes de baile.

Además, las víboras de coral estaban seguras de que los flamencos iban a morir, porque la mitad, por lo menos, de las víboras de coral que los habían mordido eran venenosas.

Pero los flamencos no murieron. Corrieron a echarse al agua, sintiendo un grandísimo dolor y sus patas, que eran blancas, estaban entonces coloradas por el veneno de las víboras. Pasaron días y días, y siempre sentían terrible ardor en las patas, y las tenían siempre de color de sangre, porque estaban envenenadas.

De esto hace muchísimo tiempo. Y ahora todavía están los flamencos casi todo el día con sus patas coloradas metidas en el agua, tratando de calmar el ardor que sienten en ellas.

A veces se apartan de la orilla, y dan unos pasos por tierra, para ver cómo se encuentran. Pero los dolores del veneno vuelven en seguida, y corren a meterse en el agua. A veces el ardor que sienten es tan grande, que encogen una pata y quedan así horas enteras, porque no pueden estirarla.

Esta es la historia de los flamencos, que antes tenían las patas blancas y ahora las tienen coloradas. Todos los peces saben por qué es, y se burlan de ellos. Pero los flamencos, mientras se curan en el agua, no pierden ocasión de vengarse, comiéndose a cuanto pececito se acerca demasiado a burlarse de ellos.

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víbora: viper, a very poisonous snake

yacaré: caiman (a reptile that looks a lot like an alligator)

pescuezo: snout of an animal

escamas de peces: scales of a fish (the body of a fish is covered in scales)

menearse: to wiggle oneself

burla: teasing, mocking someone

farolito: a small lantern

luciérnaga: a firefly

pollerita: a very small skirt

tul: tulle, a very frilly, lightweight fabric found on ballerina outfits

gasa roja: red chiffon (chiffon is an extremely thin, lightweight fabric used in fancy dresses)

almacenero: a man who works in a warehouse

narigudo: stuck-up, snobby

encomienda: parcel, package

lechuza: an owl

agacharse: to crouch down, to bend down

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We’re almost a quarter of the way through the year and for many people their New Year’s Resolutions for 2009 are already a distant (and unfulfilled) memory. But if you made a resolution connected to improving your Spanish in 2009 that you’ve since let slide, I’d like to challenge you right now to reconsider it. Perhaps the Spanish class you planned on taking got canceled or the schedule was changed. Maybe you got distracted by other stuff going on in your life or perhaps you’ve just been overwhelmed and preoccupied with more important matters. OK, no problem. Hey, it happens to the best of us. But now that you’re reading this reminder, what can you do, starting today to get back on track?

Consider the following analogy between chopping wood and advancing your Spanish:

When an ax is sharp, the pieces of wood go flying. But if the ax is dull, forget it. Talk about frustration. So, what is it that keeps an ax (or a knife) sharp? Contact with another a hard, abrasive substance. It takes iron to sharpen iron. And while that contact may produce a shower of sparks, the final result is a sharp, useful tool.

So how does this relate to advancing your Spanish? You need to have continuous and frequent contact with the Spanish language and find ways to maintain that contact. And sometimes those ways may make you feel uncomfortable because they’re hard, they require patience and persistence or you’re just not used to using them.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you already know where I’m headed. Yeah, I know, I’m so predictable, right? But I feel like one can never stress this enough: Get an intercambio. If you’ve tried one in the past and it didn’t work out or it was a total disaster, try again. The benefits of having a language exchange partner totally outweigh some of the hassles you may have come across in arranging them.  (By the way, if you are partial to finding a conversation partner in Spain, believe it or not, it may now actually be easier to find intercambios since many people have either a). been laid off or b). think they might be laid off and as a result feel an increased pressure to improve their English. At least that’s what I’m seeing here in Madrid. Check out Loquo.com for intercambio leads in Spain.)

Don’t know what an intercambio is or how to do one? Read this.

Some places to find intercambios? Language Exchanges.org and SharedTalk.com, although there are a ton of other intercambio web sites out there. Just put “language exchange” or “language intercambio” into Google and see what comes up.

Here are some other ways to sharpen your Spanish:

Subscribe to the RSS feed of a blog like Spanish-Only to get Spanish learning tips and vocabulary delivered to your inbox daily.

Set up your web cam or use your camera phone and record yourself reading short Spanish texts out loud. It will be for your eyes only, so don’t stress out over your accent, the bags under your eyes or your receding hairline. :-)  If you’re feeling really adventurous, take your camcorder outside and shoot mini videos of your neighborhood or town and do the voiceover in Spanish. Again, for your eyes only, if you wish. Need some inspiration? Take a tour of Graham A. Stephen’s engaging Expediente Ñ video blog.

Hop on the social media bandwagon and start making friends with native Spanish speakers and other Spanish language enthusiasts on sites like Tuenti, Facebook, StumbleUpon or Twitter. If you’re feeling really brave and want to swim with the sharks, join a Spanish-only forum like Spaniards.es, start leaving comments and see how fast they correct you!

Look for a volunteer opportunity. Perhaps there is a church in your area where you can help Spanish-speaking immigrants or a charity that needs someone who can speak a little Spanish to help them with community outreach.

Still a little gunshy about doing a one-on-one intercambio? Look for a Spanish conversation group online or at MeetUp.com. If there isn’t one in your local area, start networking and create one. Find a local Spanish instructor and ask him or her if they have anything going on. If not, ask them if they would be willing to appear as a kind of host or moderator at a local restaurant or coffeehouse if you helped to get the word out. The point is to do something that a). you are genuinuely interested in doing and b). won’t be a chore for you to keep it up.

If you’ve got any other suggestions or ideas, please share them below. But whatever you do, keep those Spanish skills sharp!

Photo by Photo Euphoria, used under license from iStockPhoto.com

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Well, it turns out that Spanish is filled with phrasal verbs as well. It’s just not as noticeable to native Spanish speakers because, hey, it’s their language!

One of the most useful base verbs in Spanish is the verb dar which literally means “to give.” But when paired with the Spanish noun “vuelta,” dar becomes a phrasal verb powerhouse.

1. darse vuelta (to turn over) El bebé se da vuelta en la cuna. (If a car or a boat: to flip over or to capsize) El coche se dio vuelta en la carretera durante el accidente.
2. darse la vuelta (to turn around) El perro se da la vuelta cuando escucha su nombre.
3. dar media vuelta (to turn halfway around) La modelo da media vuelta en la pasarela.
4. dar una vuelta (to take a walk, to take a ride (in a car) Vamos a dar una vuelta.
5. dar vueltas (to toss and turn) Carmen daba vueltas en la cama.
6. dar vuelta en redondo (to make a U-turn, to make a complete 360º turn) Taxista, tiene que dar vuelta en redondo al próximo semáforo.
7. dar vueltas en redondo (to go around in circles) ¡Basta ya! ¡Esta discusión da vueltas en redondo!
8. darle vuelta a (to turn something over) Miguel le da vuelta al crepe (”pancake” en inglés) para que no se queme.

No hay que darle vueltas. (There’s no use talking about it. There’s no use discussing it.)

Photo by GXDoyle

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I’m a dog person. To me, dogs are wonderful, intelligent animals. I can’t even fathom how anyone could ever be cruel to a dog.

That’s why the news story of a serial dog killer in Hong Kong, China really disturbed me. More than 100 dogs have been poisoned in the past 20 years by someone who has a true hatred of canines. I first heard about this case before I started blogging, during the fall of 2005, from a front-page story published in the Wall Street Journal about the mysterious unsolved case.  At the time I was enrolled in a Spanish-language writing class and one of the homework assignments was to write a short story. So I decided to write a fictional account based on the newspaper story I had read. The true story has recently come back into the news as the killer, after an extended period of inactivity, has emerged once again.

You can hear a reading of “El carnicero de Bowen Road” over on my other blog, Cody’s Cuentos. It’s not a typical children’s story but I figured it would work better over there then on this blog. In any case, if you’d like to hear a podcast of the story, click here.

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Here are some random readers’ comments (typos included) that were posted on 20Minutos.com about the physically prepubescent padre: 

Dios!! Voy a vomitar!!!

Es normal, son ingleses..

Deberían estar obligados a abortar o a darlo en adopción por ley. el recién nacido va a ser un desgraciado por culpa de unos padre irresponsables.

Que los ingleses en materia de anticonceptivos y educación sexual estan tanto o más verdes que nosotros.

Habría que reflexionar en qué pasa en esta sociedad cuando chavales de 13 años empiezan a tener relaciones sexuales sin saber que significan, al final esto no es sino una consecuencia de la sociedad orientada al hedonismo y la busqueda del placer que tanto se nos ha inculcado.

Well, low and behold, guess what the age of sexual consent is in Spain? 13.

Wow. Must be a holdover from another century when the average lifespan was shorter and people got married as soon as they entered puberty. Fortunately, the Spanish government realizes that this age is way too young. There is currently a serious discussion going on about changing the penal code, which would include, among other things, possibly raising the age of sexual consent to at least 14.

Hmm, I wonder how many of those readers/viewers slamming Alfie and his family were aware that in Spain, under current Spanish law, there would be nothing at all wrong with a 13-yr-old having sex with an older person. Seems like some Spaniards might be suffering a slight case of paja-itis, where they can ver la paja en el ojo ajeno y no la viga en el propio.

Photo by Walik, used under license from iStockPhoto.com

P.S. Is it just me or does this pooch bear an uncanny resemblance to actor Samuel L. Jackson??

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dentista sin título: dentist without a degree
madrugador: an early riser, a person who gets up early in the morning
gabinete: office
vidriera: a glass medicine cabinet
dentadura postiza: denture
molde de yeso: plaster cast
puñado: a fistful
camisa a rayas: striped shirt

fresa: a dentist’s drill
caballete: trestle
voz destemplada: harsh voice
muela: a molar, a tooth in the back of the mouth
gaveta: drawer
umbral: doorway, threshold of a door
cabezal: headrest
pomos de loza: knobs made of china, ceramic knobs

aguamanil: washbasin, hand basin
cordal: a wisdom tooth, another term in Spanish is “muela del juicio”
aferrar: to seize, to grab tightly
crujido: a crunch
mandíbula: jaw
escupidera: spitton
jadeante: panting, breathless
guerrera: army jacket
cielorraso: plaster ceiling
buches de agua de sal: gargle with salt water
displicente: indifferent, blasé

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A short story by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
El lunes amaneció tibio y sin lluvia. Don Aurelio Escovar, dentista sin título y buen madrugador, abrió su gabinete a las seis. Sacó de la vidriera una dentadura postiza montada aún en el molde de yeso y puso sobre la mesa un puñado de instrumentos que ordenó de mayor a menor, como en una exposición. Llevaba una camisa a rayas, sin cuello, cerrada arriba con un botón dorado, y los pantalones sostenidos con cargadores elásticos. Era rígido, enjuto, con una mirada que raras veces correspondía a la situación, como la mirada de los sordos.

Cuando tuvo las cosas dispuestas sobre la mesa rodó la fresa hacia el sillón de resortes y se sentó a pulir la dentadura postiza. Parecía no pensar en lo que hacía, pero trabajaba con obstinación, pedaleando en la fresa incluso cuando no se servía de ella.

Después de las ocho hizo una pausa para mirar el cielo por la ventana y vio dos gallinazos pensativos que se secaban al sol en el caballete de la casa vecina. Siguió trabajando con la idea de que antes del almuerzo volvería a llover. La voz destemplada de su hijo de once años lo sacó de su abstracción.

-Papá.

-Qué.

-Dice el alcalde que si le sacas una muela.

-Dile que no estoy aquí.

Estaba puliendo un diente de oro. Lo retiró a la distancia del brazo y lo examinó con los ojos a medio cerrar. En la salita de espera volvió a gritar su hijo.

-Dice que sí estás porque te está oyendo.

El dentista siguió examinando el diente. Sólo cuando lo puso en la mesa con los trabajos terminados, dijo:

-Mejor.

Volvió a operar la fresa. De una cajita de cartón donde guardaba las cosas por hacer, sacó un puente de varias piezas y empezó a pulir el oro.

-Papá.

-Qué.

Aún no había cambiado de expresión.

-Dice que si no le sacas la muela te pega un tiro.

Sin apresurarse, con un movimiento extremadamente tranquilo, dejó de pedalear en la fresa, la retiró del sillón y abrió por completo la gaveta inferior de la mesa. Allí estaba el revólver.

-Bueno -dijo-. Dile que venga a pegármelo.

Hizo girar el sillón hasta quedar de frente a la puerta, la mano apoyada en el borde de la gaveta. El alcalde apareció en el umbral. Se había afeitado la mejilla izquierda, pero en la otra, hinchada y dolorida, tenía una barba de cinco días. El dentista vio en sus ojos marchitos muchas noches de desesperación. Cerró la gaveta con la punta de los dedos y dijo suavemente:

-Siéntese.

-Buenos días -dijo el alcalde.

-Buenos -dijo el dentista.

Mientras hervían los instrumentos, el alcalde apoyó el cráneo en el cabezal de la silla y se sintió mejor. Respiraba un olor glacial. Era un gabinete pobre: una vieja silla de madera, la fresa de pedal, y una vidriera con pomos de loza. Frente a la silla, una ventana con un cancel de tela hasta la altura de un hombre. Cuando sintió que el dentista se acercaba, el alcalde afirmó los talones y abrió la boca.

Don Aurelio Escovar le movió la cara hacia la luz. Después de observar la muela dañada, ajustó la mandíbula con una cautelosa presión de los dedos.

-Tiene que ser sin anestesia -dijo.

-¿Por qué?

-Porque tiene un absceso.

El alcalde lo miró en los ojos.

-Está bien -dijo, y trató de sonreír. El dentista no le correspondió. Llevó a la mesa de trabajo la cacerola con los instrumentos hervidos y los sacó del agua con unas pinzas frías, todavía sin apresurarse. Después rodó la escupidera con la punta del zapato y fue a lavarse las manos en el aguamanil. Hizo todo sin mirar al alcalde. Pero el alcalde no lo perdió de vista.

Era una cordal inferior. El dentista abrió las piernas y apretó la muela con el gatillo caliente. El alcalde se aferró a las barras de la silla, descargó toda su fuerza en los pies y sintió un vacío helado en los riñones, pero no soltó un suspiro. El dentista sólo movió la muñeca. Sin rencor, más bien con una amarga ternura, dijo:

-Aquí nos paga veinte muertos, teniente.

El alcalde sintió un crujido de huesos en la mandíbula y sus ojos se llenaron de lágrimas. Pero no suspiró hasta que no sintió salir la muela. Entonces la vio a través de las lágrimas. Le pareció tan extraña a su dolor, que no pudo entender la tortura de sus cinco noches anteriores. Inclinado sobre la escupidera, sudoroso, jadeante, se desabotonó la guerrera y buscó a tientas el pañuelo en el bolsillo del pantalón. El dentista le dio un trapo limpio.

-Séquese las lágrimas -dijo.

El alcalde lo hizo. Estaba temblando. Mientras el dentista se lavaba las manos, vio el cielorraso desfondado y una telaraña polvorienta con huevos de araña e insectos muertos. El dentista regresó secándose las manos. “Acuéstese -dijo- y haga buches de agua de sal.” El alcalde se puso de pie, se despidió con un displicente saludo militar, y se dirigió a la puerta estirando las piernas, sin abotonarse la guerrera.

-Me pasa la cuenta -dijo.

-¿A usted o al municipio?

El alcalde no lo miró. Cerró la puerta, y dijo, a través de la red metálica.

-Es la misma vaina.

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One of my favorites is “Un día de estos,” which you can listen to and read here on this blog. It’s a story about a dentist, his patient and some very unpleasant history that binds them together. Find more García Márquez short stories in Doce cuentos peregrinos (Spanish Edition, which is available on Amazon.

Glossary of words is here.

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Here is what you need to know:

Medio can be an adjective or adverb when referring to quantity. When it is used as an adjective, it agrees with the noun that it is describing. Use “medio” when referring to a single object or something that can be perceived as a unit.

medio kilo (half kilo)   una hora y media (an hour and a half)  medio bocadillo (half a sandwich)

When medio is used as an adverb it means “kind of” or “rather.”

Juan está medio loco. (Juan is half crazy. Juan is kind of crazy. Juan is not all there.)

Paco está medio dormido. (Paco is half-way asleep.  Paco is kind of asleep.)

Mitad is always a noun.  Use mitad when referring to a single object OR various objects that make up a whole.

For example, medio and mitad are both correct in the following statements:

He leído medio libro. He leído la mitad del libro. (I’ve read half the book.)

However, if you are referring to the quantity of pages, i.e. parts of a whole, then the only option is: “He leído la mitad de las páginas.” (It is incorrect to say “He leído medias páginas.”)

Photo: “Dinner” by apg

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