That’s a lot of repetition and it doesn’t seem like a particularly fun way to learn a language. But at least it gives one hope that becoming comfortably proficient in a foreign language is possible, even though it may take thousands of hours to get there!

“Can’t learn a foreign language? Not true, say scientists” - Daily Telegraph

Capítulo 1

Mi padre tenía unas pequeñas tierras en Notthinghamshire y yo fui el tercero de sus cuatro hijos. Me envió a Cambridge a la edad de catorce años y, después de estudiar allí durante tres años, trabajé como ayudante del señor Bates, un eminente cirujano de Londres. Estando allí, como mi padre me enviaba de vez en cuando ciertas sumas de dinero, estudié el arte de la navegación porque pensaba que, en algún momento o en otro, ése sería mi destino.

Tres años después de dejarle mi buen maestro, el señor Bates, me recomendó para que trabajara como cirujano naval en el Swallow, donde viajé otros tres años- Cuando regresé me instalé en Londres y adquirí una pequeña casa, donde viví con mi esposa la señorita Mary Burton, hija del señor Edmund Burton, sastre calcetero.

Mi maestro el señor Bates falleció dos años después y, como tenía pocas amistades, mis negocios empezaron a no marchar demasiado bien. Por esa razón, tomé la decisión de emprender de nuevo otro viaje. Realicé algunos viajes cortos y después acepté la oferta del capitán W. Pritchard, dueño del barco Antílope, que partía rumbo a los Mares del Sur. Salimos de Bristol el 4 de mayo de 1699 y nuestro viaje, al principio, transcurrió con entera normalidad.

Sin embargo, cuando íbamos rumbo a las Indias Orientales nos sorprendió una gran tormenta que nos llevó hasta la isla de Van Diemen. Doce marineros de la tripulación perecieron de hambre y cansancio y los demás estaban en muy malas condiciones. El 5 de noviembre amaneció muy brumoso, pero uno de los marineros divisó una roca enorme que estaba tan solo a cien metros del barco. El viento nos arrastraba hasta ella y en pocos minutos vimos como la nave se partía en pedazos al chocar con ella. Seis miembros de la tripulación, entre los que me contaba yo, logramos hacernos con uno de los botes y remar hasta que estuvimos a tres leguas de distancia. Cansados nos dejamos arrastrar a merced de las olas y poco después el bote fue engullido por una enorme ola. De aquellos que iban conmigo en el bote, ni de mis compañeros de barco supe nada más.

En lo que se refiere a mí la fortuna me arrastró hasta la orilla de aquella isla. Cuando llegué a ella y recuperé las fuerzas me adentré en ella, pero no vi ni el más mínimo vestigio de vida humana. Estaba muy cansado y el calor del sol me dejó finalmente abatido. Me tendí en la hierba y me eché a dormir profundamente.

Cuando me desperté ya había amanecido. Intenté levantarme, pero no pude porque me habían atado de manos y pies, además del pelo. Lo único que podía hacer era mirar hacia arriba. El sol empezó a calentar y la luz me cegaba los ojos. Escuchaba ruidos a mí alrededor, pero no pude ver nada, salvo el cielo. Poco después vi que algo vivo se movía por mi pierna izquierda, avanzó lentamente sobre mi pecho y se me acercó hasta casi la barbilla. Bajando los ojos pude ver a un ser humano que no tenía ni diez centímetros de estatura. Llevaba un arco y una flecha en la mano, además de una aljaba colgada en la espalda. Después noté que unos cuarenta más de esos seres diminutos seguían al primero. Me sentí tan sorprendido que lancé un bramido. Todos corrieron asustados, algunos incluso llegaron a hacerse daño intentando saltar desde mis costados al suelo. Sin embargo, al poco rato regresaron. Uno de ellos, que se aventuró hasta llegar a mi cara, levantó las manos en señal de admiración.

Me sentí tan incómodo que me esforcé todo lo que pude para desembarazarme de aquellas cuerdas. Una vez que logré soltar mi brazo izquierdo di un fuerte tirón para desprenderme de las curdas que me tenían apresado por el pelo. Sin embargo, las criaturas corrieron despavoridos. Cuando apresé a algunos de ellos sentí una descarga de cientos de flechas que se clavaron en mi mano izquierda. También lanzaron otras al cielo que, cuando cayeron, se me clavaron en la cara, por lo que tuve que cubrirme con el brazo. Me retorcí de dolor y, cuando traté de soltarme por completo, recibí otra descarga de flechas mientras que otros intentaban clavarme sus lanzas en el cuerpo. La buena fortuna quiso que llevara puesta mi chaqueta de cuero, tan rígida que no la podían atravesar. Pensé que lo más prudente en aquel momento sería quedarme quieto hasta la noche y entonces intentar escapar. Cuando me vieron que no oponía resistencia dejaron de lanzarme flechas, pero por el ruido que hacían vi que el número de enanos aumentaba.

Durante una hora escuché el ruido de personas trabajando. Luego giré la cabeza todo lo que las ataduras me lo permitían y vi una plataforma de un pie de altura con dos o tres escaleras para subir a ella. Desde allí, alguien que debía de ser una persona muy importante, me dijo muchas cosas, pero no pude comprenderlas porque hablaban una lengua distinta a la mía. No obstante, deduje por las formas que, en ocasiones, me amenazaba, mientras que en otras me hablaba con amabilidad y cierta pena. Yo musité algunas palabras, de la forma más afable que pude. Tenía tanta hambre que les hice señales para que me dieran de comer. Él me comprendió perfectamente y, bajando de las escaleras, ordenó que pusieran dos o tres escaleras a mis costados por las que subieron más de un centenar de aquellos habitantes con cestas llenas de comida.

Había patas de cordero, pero eran tan pequeñas como las alas de una alondra. Me comí dos o tres a la vez, me llenaban la boca con toda clase de comida sorprendidos de ver mi apetito. Luego hice señas para que me dieran de beber. Dedujeron que una pequeña cantidad no sería suficiente y utilizaron el ingenio. Arrastraron un enorme barril, me lo pusieron en la mano y le abrieron la tapa de arriba. Me lo bebí de un trago, ya que no contenía ni un cuatro de litro.

Me trajeron otro barril e hice lo mismo.

Luego hice señas para que me trajeran más, pero me dijeron que ya se les había acabado.

Todavía no me había recuperado de la sorpresa de ver a todos eso diminutos mortales rondando por encima de mi cuerpo y que, viendo que tenía una de las manos desatada, temblaban de miedo al verme de tan enorme tamaño comparado con ellos. Después acudió a verme una persona de alto rango. Su excelencia, subiéndose por mi brazo derecho, avanzó hasta mi cara seguido de un séquito formado por doce personas. Habló durante diez minutos, señalando hacia delante con bastante frecuencia, hacia la capital del reino como pude averiguar poco después. Le hice una señal con la mano pidiéndole que me librar de aquellas ataduras. Pareció entenderme, pero me hizo señas con la cabeza indicándome que ya me habían dado de comer y de beber, y que, por el momento, era más que suficiente.

Su respuesta me hizo intentar escapar una vez más, pero cuando sentí sus afiladas flechas en mi cara y en mis manos, desistí en mi empeño y les hice saber que me rendía.

Me frotaron la cara y las manos con un ungüento que a los pocos minutos alivió el dolor que me causaban las herida de las flechas. El ungüento me dejó adormilado y me quedé dormido. Dormí unas ocho horas. Después me dijeron que me había quedado dormido porque el médico, siguiendo las órdenes del emperador, había vertido una pócima en los barriles de vino.

Parecer ser que, cuando me hallaron dormido en el suelo después de llegar a tierra, el emperador había ordenado que me atasen de la manera que ya he narrado, que me dieran toda la comida y bebida que se me antojase y que prepararan un carro donde pudieran transportarme hasta la ciudad. Tuvieron que trabajar quinientos carpinteros e ingenieros para acometer dicha empresa. Consistía en un enorme marco de madera levantado unos diez centímetros por encima del suelo, de unos dos metros de largo y uno de ancho, movido por veintidós ruedas. Lo difícil era colocarme encima. Tuvieron que utilizar ochenta poleas para ello, además de gruesas sogas que me pasaron por el cuello, las manos, los pies y el cuerpo. Se emplearon novecientos hombres para tirar de las cuerdas y en menos de tres horas lograron colocarme encima de aquel carro y atarme fijamente a él. Mil quinientos caballos que pertenecían al emperador, de unos diez centímetros cada uno, se emplearon para llevarme hasta la capital. Mientras hacían todo aquello dormí profundamente y no me desperté hasta que no habían transcurrido cuatro horas desde que iniciamos el viaje.

El emperador y todos los miembros de la corte salieron a recibirnos, pero los oficiales de más alto rango no permitieron que arriesgara su vida subiéndose encima de mí. El carruaje se detuvo a las puertas de un templo antiguo, el más grande al parecer de todo e reino, donde se suponía que yo debía alojarme. Cerca de la puerta principal, a través de la cual pude pasar con facilidad, me ataron con noventa y una cadenas, parecidas a esas que sujetan los relojes de las señoritas, y las fijaron a mi perna izquierda con treinta y seis candados.

Cuando comprobaron que era imposible que me soltara cortaron las cuerdas que me tenían atado. Me erguí, sintiéndome más triste y apesadumbrado que nunca. Las cadenas que me sujetaban la pierna izquierda eran de unos dos metros de largas, lo que me permitía no solo caminar hacia delante y hacia atrás, sino poder tenderme por entero en el interior del templo. El emperador se acercó hasta mí rodeado de algunos des su cortesanos, todos ellos perfectamente ataviados, me observó con gran admiración, pero se mantuvo a suficiente distancia.

Era algo más alto que los demás miembros de la corte, lo cual ya le hacía destacar, más apuesto y majestuoso que nadie. Para poder contemplarle mejor me eché sobre el costado de tal manera que mi cara quedó a su misma altura. Su traje era sencillo, aunque llevaba un casco de oro adornado con joyas y una pluma. Sostenía la espada en la mano para defenderse en caso de que yo me desatara. Tenía la voz chillona, pero clara. Me habló en diversas ocasiones, y traté de responderle, pero no pudimos entendernos porque hablábamos distintas lenguas.

Narciso, era un hermoso muchacho que todos los días iba a contemplar su propia belleza en el río. Estaba tan fascinado por sí mismo, que un día se cayó en el río y murió ahogado.

En el lugar donde se cayó, nació una flor a la que llamaron narciso.

Pero Oscar Wilde ponía fin a la historia de esta manera: El decía que cuando Narciso murió, vinieron las Oréiadas -diosas del bosque- y vieron el río transformado, de un río de agua dulce, en un cántaro de lágrimas saladas.

-¿Por qué llora?- preguntaron las Oréiadas.

-Lloro por Narciso, – respondió el río.

-Oh, no nos extraña que llore por Narciso -prosiguieron diciendo ellas-. Al fin y al cabo, a pesar de que todas nosotras le perseguíamos siempre a través del bosque, usted era el único que tenía la oportunidad de contemplar de cerca su belleza.

-Entonces, ¿era bello Narciso?- preguntó el río.

-¿Quién sino usted podría saberlo?- respondieron, sorprendidas, las Oréiadas-. Después de todo, era sobre su orilla donde él se inclinaba todos los días.

El río se quedó inmóvil unos instantes. Finalmente dijo:

-Lloro por Narciso, pero nunca me había dado cuenta de que Narciso fuese bello. Lloro por Narciso porque cada vez que el se recostaba sobre mi orilla yo podía ver, en el fondo de sus ojos, mi propia belleza reflejada.

All Hispanics are Mexican, and to be Hispanic you have to have tan skin, shiny black hair and a last name that ends in -ez. (Lopez, Perez, Rodriguez, etc.)

Human beings have a nasty little habit of sizing up other people, reaching a conclusion and having that conclusion become the “truth” about that particular group of people. Many of us are guilty of this. Even those of us who pride ourselves on being open-minded and progressive.

Check out this fascinating speech by Chimamanda Adichie, a Nigerian novelist. In it she talks about “the danger of the single story,” the stereotypes that people use to define other people. The video below is almost 20 minutes long but it is definitely worth watching. If you can’t watch the whole speech, fast forward to 8:30 where she talks about visiting Mexico and her reaction to being there. (Also, if you click on the subtitles tab, you can read the speech translated into Spanish. Very nice.)

“I remember walking around on my first day in Guadalajara; watching the people going to work, rolling up to…the marketplace, smoking, laughing. I remember at first feeling slight surprise, and then, I was overwhelmed with shame. I realized that I had been so immersed in the media coverage of Mexicans, that they had become one thing in my mind: abject immigrant. I had bought into the single story of Mexicans and I could not have been more ashamed of myself. So that is how to create a single story: show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.”

Ésta es la historia de un loro muy contradictorio. Desde hacía un buen número de años vivía enjaulado, y su propietario era un anciano al que el animal hacía compañía. Cierto día, el anciano invitó a un amigo a su casa a deleitar un sabroso té de Cachemira.
Los dos hombres pasaron al salón donde, cerca de la ventana y en su jaula, estaba el loro. Se encontraban los dos hombres tomando el té, cuando el loro comenzó a gritar insistente y vehementemente:

-¡Libertad, libertad, libertad!
No cesaba de pedir libertad. Durante todo el tiempo en que estuvo el invitado en la casa, el animal no dejó de reclamar libertad. Hasta tal punto era desgarradora su solicitud, que el invitado se sintió muy apenado y ni siquiera pudo terminar de saborear su taza. Estaba saliendo por la puerta y el loro seguía gritando: -¡Libertad, libertad!

Pasaron dos días. El invitado no podía dejar de pensar con compasión en el loro. Tanto le atribulaba el estado del animalillo que decidió que era necesario ponerlo en libertad. Tramó un plan. Sabía cuándo dejaba el anciano su casa para ir a efectuar la compra. Iba a aprovechar esa ausencia y a liberar al pobre loro.
Un día después, el invitado se apostó cerca de la casa del anciano y, en cuanto lo vio salir, corrió hacia su casa, abrió la puerta con una ganzúa y entró en el salón, donde el loro continuaba gritando: ¡Libertad, libertad!

Al invitado se le partía el corazón. ¿Quién no hubiera sentido piedad por el animalito? Presto, se acercó a la jaula y abrió la puertecilla de la misma. Entonces el loro, aterrado, se lanzó al lado opuesto de la jaula y se aferró con su pico y uñas a los barrotes de la jaula, negándose a abandonarla. El loro seguía gritando: ¡Libertad, libertad, libertad, libertad!

As of today, Sunday, January 2, 2011, it is against the law to smoke in bars and restaurants in Spain. Yes, you read that right. It is now illegal to light up inside of Spain’s bars and restaurants.

If you’ve ever been to Spain you know that the smell of smoke inside of bars and restaurants was part of the ambiance. A night out for dinner and drinks was a guarantee that you’d return home smelling like you had smoked two packs of cigarettes. It was bad, real bad.

It wasn’t just at night or during social gatherings. Years ago, in Spain, it was the most normal thing in the world for people to smoke inside office buildings, university classrooms and even in doctors’ offices and hospitals.

In 2006 the Spanish government passed anti-smoking regulations prohibiting smoking inside office buildings but giving bars and restaurants a pass. Only large eating establishments had to provide non-smoking areas. Since the majority of bars and restaurants in Spain are small, mom-and-pop owned locations, compliance with the 2006 anti-smoking regulations was lax.

But as of today, all eateries, regardless of size, have to ban smoking.

The reactions on Twitter have ranged from serious to happy to angry and annoyed by the new law. Here are a few tweets:

@MrNynox Por mi genial la #leyantitabaco más que nada por la comodidad de cenar comida y que no venga incluido humo así gratis.

@mividalopez: El prohibicionismo siempre ha demostrado q las ‘leyes virtuosas’ solo generan corrupción, delincuencia y más Estado policial.

@elGabriel: Me voy a echar una siestecita, si los socialistas no tienen inconveniente.

@kurioso: 3 millones de personas dejarán de fumar con la nueva #leyantitabaco. No encuentro argumento capaz de rebatir que eso no merezca la pena

@muyinteresante: En vigor nueva #leyantitabaco. ¿Sabías q el humo del tabaco impregnado en paredes daña la salud? http://bit.ly/bGcFyA

@sergi_rs: Asociaciones de vecinos quejándose del jaleo que organizan los fumadores a las puertas de bares y discotecas, en 3, 2, 1,…

@nosoydolly: Las denuncias por fumar en lugares prohibidos podrian ser anonimas.” Y AHORA QUE ME DIGAN QUE ESTO NO ES LA INQUISICION. #leyantitabaco

@jgaricini: ¿Se podrá fumar dentro de las redes sociales?

Despite all the griping and grousing from smokers and business owners about the law, this is the type of law that benefits everyone in the long run. Five years from people will laugh at the memory of a time in Spain when smoking in bars, restaurants, hospitals and office buildings was acceptable and considered the most natural thing in the world.

Earlier this month, the RAE announced it was issuing new spelling rules for the Spanish language in December. Among some of the more curious changes were renaming the letter Y “ye” (instead of i griega) and dropping the accent marks from various Spanish words. (Click here for more details about the previously proposed changes.)

At a meeting over the weekend, the RAE officially ushered in these new rules but then they did something unexpected. They said that the most unpopular spelling changes will now be considered optional, and that both forms (the old, traditional way plus the new rules) will acceptable.

Why the reversal? The public outcry against the spelling changes was intense and caught the RAE completely off guard.  A couple of Facebook pages sprang up to protest the changes, some of them openly mocking the RAE. There was also tremendous chatter on Twitter and on various blogs about the changes.

But what probably got the RAE’s attention and caused the organization the most embarrassment were the prominent and distinguished Spanish authors and scholars who publicly criticized the changes as ridiculous and unnecessary. The RAE, blindsided by the criticism, probably felt like it had no other choice but to compromise and soften its initial stance that the rules were set in stone.

Gone are the days when an institution like the RAE can make pronouncements like this from its ivory tower and expect there to be no challenge to its authority.

So what does this mean? It means you can continue with the old spelling rules and pronunciations still be correct and current.  Bye-bye to the “ye” pronunciation of the letter Y. We hardly knew ye.

Here’s what you said:

Austin Cooper writes: “I have two schools that I recommend. The first is Cristina Serra in Denia, Alicante, Spain. I spent two weeks here and stayed with a host family and I had a great time. Denia is a really cool place to visit and has a nice small town feel. The people are super friendly and the Spanish is very easy to understand.

The second place is CEICA in Arequipa, Peru.  I spent one week there also with a host family. The culture is fascinating and the food is excellent.”

Terry Hull is keen on Instituto Chac Mool in Cuernavaca, Morelos, Mexico. “Spent two weeks. Outdoor classes in a nice environment, great family host!”

Tricia, another Voices en Español reader, has also attended Instituto Chac Mool (twice!) and took her family with her. She writes:

A reader writing under the pen name”Hola Holanda” made an intriguing suggestion:  “Probably this one would be more suitable for advanced Spanish speakers ready to take their Spanish to a next level: Casa Lamm – Centro de Cultura in Mexico City.”

Martha Kowalak-Perez recommends Instituto Hispanico de Murcia in Murcia, Spain. She’s studied there twice. “Class sizes were small, Classes were challenging to my intermediate skills, teachers were very skilled, and the city is beautiful!”

T.J. DeGroat writes that he had “very positive experiences” at InHispania in Madrid and International House in Mexico City (Condesa neighborhood). “The Madrid school, not surprisingly, attracted more students, mostly twentysomethings. Teachers at both were good…At International House I was there for 5 weeks and felt really comfortable. I only ever had one other student in my “group” class, so it wound up being a great deal – super personalized instruction for the group-class price.”

Anna Preziosi suggests AIFS – American Institute for Foreign Studies. “For college students that is very good. I did my junior year in Salamanca and then – and even now – the program is very good.”

Loren McWethy highly recommends the Habla Ya! language academy in Boquete, Panama. “They have really nice facilities, inexpensive prices, and very professional materials. I found that the teachers were good at identifying weaknesses and finding materials that could specifically address these weak areas. I’ve been to a number of language schools and this place was by far the best. I did a week of classes focused on Medical Spanish but had I known it was so good, I would have stayed longer. The school also has a lots of activities, community…and the town of Boquete is really chill and fun.”

Louise Choquette is a study abroad veteran.  She writes, “I have attended 6 different Spanish-language schools in Latin America and I can unconditionally recommend the Proyecto Linguistico Quetzeltenango located in Xela, Guatemala.

I can recommend them because they have very experienced teachers on staff, who actually have teachers’s qualifications. They are also dedicated at making the rest of the world aware of the political and social conditions and the inequities of this world. They reinvest their profits to make their communities a better place (programs for children, electricity, schools, etc.). They supplement their program with meaningful activities such as presentations by people who experienced the war, local artisans and visits to community-based initiatives.

They also have a new option offering distance learning through Skype. I am currently taking such lessons and find them very helpful.”

Have any more recommendations of Spanish language academies? Post them in the comments below. Gracias de nuevo to all of you who have contributed already. The information is very helpful!

• The letter Y, formerly called  “i griega,” will now be called “ye.”
• The letters B and V  will be called by their formal names “be” and “uve” and not “b alta, b larga, b corta or b chica, all common ways of referring to those letters in Latin America.
  
• The prefix “ex” will be attached to words without a hyphen. For example: exnovio, exmarido, exdirector, etc.
• The words guión, truhán and sólo will no longer have an accent mark (la tilde).
• The letter Q will only appear in Spanish when it is paired with the letter U and followed by either the vowels E or I.  (For example: quiosco, querer, etc.). In all other cases, the letters C or K will be used instead of Q. Iraq becomes Irak, Qatar becomes Catar, quorum becomes cuórum.

¡Gracias!

Occasionally I see people asking for school recommendations in Spanish language and tourism forums. That’s a good first step in compiling an initial list of schools to consider, but keep in mind that everyone’s needs are different. You still have to do your own homework to find a language academy that will best suit your needs.

Here are some questions that I think everyone should ask before they book their trip:

How many weeks do you have?

You need to figure out in advance exactly how many weeks (or months) you will have to devote to this kind of intensive language study. If you can’t afford to go for at least four weeks, don’t expect to get much out of the experience. Yes, you will probably have a good time and meet a lot of new people, but one or two weeks of language study isn’t going to be enough time to significantly advance your Spanish language skills.

If you are a beginner, two weeks is enough to give you a small taste of what the language is like. But if you are at the low-intermediate to high intermediate level, that first week will be spent in review and then the second week will fly by leaving you with the sensation that you didn’t really accomplish much.

Spain or Latin America?

This depends on your own personal preference and language learning objectives. Do you prefer urban settings over rural ones? Do you want to study in a location with high living standards and good security or prefer to be in a place that may be economically disadvantaged and perhaps a bit of a culture shock for you? How important is it to you to be able to travel and do excursions while in the country? If you’re only able to spend one or two weeks, you’re better off sticking to a major city where the transportation and cultural options will be greater.

Some people prefer the accent from Spain over accents from Latin America and vice versa, so you need to decide which one appeals to you.

Also, don’t automatically assume that because a language academy is in Spain that it will be more expensive than a language academy in Latin America. I’ve seen programs in Argentina, Costa Rica and Mexico which cost more than similar ones in Spain.

Class size?

What is the average class size at the language academy? (Anything over 7 people is too many, in my opinion, and ideally it would be nice to have the class size be smaller than that, like around four or five people.)

If you can only afford to go for one or two weeks, you would be better off enrolling in private classes so that the instructional focus will be on you. In group classes, the group can only go as fast as its slowest member, so your plans to advance your Spanish could get easily derailed because of someone else’s level.

Average age of students?

This is an important one. If a language academy tends to attract a very young, immature, college-age crowd and you’re over the age of 35, that could make you feel uncomfortable.

What’s the big deal, you say? Well, again, it depends on you. But language academies which attract mainly a university-age clientele tend to have a more casual, less serious instructional vibe. It wouldn’t be unusual for the first half of each day’s class spent with students chatting with the teacher about their bar hopping exploits.

Background of the instructors?

Read the academy’s web site carefully to learn more about the professional background of its instructors. You want to be confident that the language academy has staffers with longevity and experience teaching foreigners Spanish.

Number of instructional hours per week?

This is very important. You need to ask the school what its policy is when there aren’t enough students at the same level and you’ve paid for a group class. In some language academies, they will reduce your instructional hours if there isn’t a minimum number of students at your level. If you are a beginner, this usually won’t happen. However, it can be a problem if you are at the upper-intermediate or advanced level.

This happened to me a few years ago in Buenos Aires where I had paid to be part of a special course for Spanish teachers. When I showed up, I was the only person scheduled to be in that course and so I was given private lessons, which was great, but I had to pay the school’s higher rate for private lessons. This meant that I received fewer hours of instruction than I had wanted since I couldn’t afford to pay the private lesson rate for the same number of hours as the teachers’ course. So ask this question upfront and plan accordingly.

What’s included in the price?

Some language academies have daily or weekly organized activities outside of class hours. Some of these activities will be included in the cost of instruction while others are not. Then again there are also language academies out there which don’t offer much in the way of  out-of-class activities and you will be on your own when it comes to filling your free time. For some people, this is ideal, but for others, they may feel kind of lost and lonely.

Is housing available?

Unless you prefer to stay in a hotel or already have friends/relatives in the area, don’t try to arrange housing on your own. Most reputable language academies have listings of host families and landlords that specialize in renting out rooms for very short-term rentals. Use that service so that there will be one less thing to worry about when you arrive.

One last thing…

…as you start to search for your ideal school on the web, keep in mind that the large language academies are pros at search engine optimization. That means they know all the little tricks and tactics to use to get their language schools to appear at the top of Google’s listings. But just because a language academy appears at the top of a Google search doesn’t mean it is the best. It just means they’re good at marketing. Dig deeper.

To those of you who have enrolled in one of these intensive language courses, what advice would you give? What other things would you recommend people ask or think about before enrolling? Post your comments below.

Se trataba de un muchacho corriente: en los pantalones se le formaban rodilleras, leía historietas, hacía ruido cuando comía, se metía los dedos a la naríz, roncaba en la siesta, se llamaba Armando Corriente en todo menos en una cosa: tenía Otro Yo.

El Otro Yo usaba cierta poesía en la mirada, se enamoraba de las actrices, mentía cautelosamente , se emocionaba en los atardeceres. Al muchacho le preocupaba mucho su Otro Yo y le hacía sentirse imcómodo frente a sus amigos. Por otra parte el Otro Yo era melancólico, y debido a ello, Armando no podía ser tan vulgar como era su deseo.

Una tarde Armando llegó cansado del trabajo, se quitó los zapatos, movió lentamente los dedos de los pies y encendió la radio. En la radio estaba Mozart, pero el muchacho se durmió. Cuando despertó el Otro Yo lloraba con desconsuelo. En el primer momento, el muchacho no supo que hacer, pero después se rehizo e insultó concienzudamente al Otro Yo. Este no dijo nada, pero a la mañama siguiente se habia suicidado.

Al principio la muerte del Otro Yo fue un rudo golpe para el pobre Armando, pero enseguida pensó que ahora sí podría ser enteramente vulgar. Ese pensamiento lo reconfortó.

Sólo llevaba cinco días de luto, cuando salió a la calle con el propósito de lucir su nueva y completa vulgaridad. Desde lejos vio que se acercaban sus amigos. Eso le lleno de felicidad e inmediatamente estalló en risotadas.

Sin embargo, cuando pasaron junto a él, ellos no notaron su presencia. Para peor de males, el muchacho alcanzó a escuchar que comentaban: «Pobre Armando. Y pensar que parecía tan fuerte y saludable».

El muchacho no tuvo más remedio que dejar de reír y, al mismo tiempo, sintió a la altura del esternón un ahogo que se parecía bastante a la nostalgia. Pero no pudo sentir auténtica melancolía, porque toda la melancolía se la había llevado el Otro Yo.

En Madrid hay de todo. Aquí conviven las enormes avenidas y los barrios de callejas estrechas, los edificios modernos de acero y cristal y las viejas casas, las autopistas y los parques, los madrileños “de pura cepa” y miles de personas venidas de otros lugares que han encontrado aquí su casa.

La Puerta del Sol es, junto a la cercana Plaza Mayor, el centro tradicional de la vida madrileña. Desde aquí millones de españoles escuchan cada 31 de diciembre las campanadas de fin de año. En el suelo, una pequeña placa con la inscripción Kilómetro Cero recuerda que aquí tienen su punto de partida todas las carreteras que van del centro de España hacia la periferia.

Tres de los museos más importantes de España están situados en una misma zona de la ciudad formando lo que algunos llaman el triángulo de arte: el Museo del Prado, el Reina Sofía, de arte contemporáneo y el Museo Thyssen.

El Escorial, monasterio y palacio al mismo tiempo, es un edificio impresionante. Lo mandó construir Felipe II en el siglo XVI en un entorno magnífico, al pie de la Sierra de Guadarrama. El Escorial tiene nueve torres, quince claustros, dieciséis patios, más de 1.500 puertas y 2.600 ventanas.

La comunidad de Madrid ha recibido y sigue recibiendo cada año a miles de hombres y mujeres de otras regiones de España, Europa, África y Hispanoamérica. Por eso, en las calles de la capital, se oye hablar español con todos los acentos imaginables.

Pero los madrileños también tienen una forma particular de hablar. Éstos son algunos rasgos típicos del modo de hablar madrileño.

Es muy habitual, incluso entre personas cultas, el leísmo, consistente en usar le en lugar de lo. (Por ejemplo: Perdí el documento, pero ya le he encontrado.)

La d al final de las palabras no siempre se pronuncia como tal sino a menudo como una z. Muchos madrileños no dicen, por ejemplo, Madrid, sino Madriz.

Katey Durham  -  5 stars

Ante la ley hay un guardián. Un campesino se presenta frente a este guardián, y solicita que le permita entrar en la Ley. Pero el guardián contesta que por ahora no puede dejarlo entrar. El hombre reflexiona y pregunta si más tarde lo dejarán entrar.

-Tal vez -dice el centinela- pero no por ahora.

La puerta que da a la Ley está abierta, como de costumbre; cuando el guardián se hace a un lado, el hombre se inclina para espiar. El guardián lo ve, se sonríe y le dice:

-Si tu deseo es tan grande haz la prueba de entrar a pesar de mi prohibición. Pero recuerda que soy poderoso. Y sólo soy el último de los guardianes. Entre salón y salón también hay guardianes, cada uno más poderoso que el otro. Ya el tercer guardián es tan terrible que no puedo mirarlo siquiera.

El campesino no había previsto estas dificultades; la Ley debería ser siempre accesible para todos, piensa, pero al fijarse en el guardián, con su abrigo de pieles, su nariz grande y aguileña, su barba negra de tártaro, rala y negra, decide que le conviene más esperar. El guardián le da un escabel y le permite sentarse a un costado de la puerta.

Allí espera días y años. Intenta infinitas veces entrar y fatiga al guardián con sus súplicas. Con frecuencia el guardián conversa brevemente con él, le hace preguntas sobre su país y sobre muchas otras cosas; pero son preguntas indiferentes, como las de los grandes señores, y, finalmente siempre le repite que no puede dejarlo entrar. El hombre, que se ha provisto de muchas cosas para el viaje, sacrifica todo, por valioso que sea, para sobornar al guardián. Este acepta todo, en efecto, pero le dice:

-Lo acepto para que no creas que has omitido ningún esfuerzo.

Durante esos largos años, el hombre observa casi continuamente al guardián: se olvida de los otros y le parece que éste es el único obstáculo que lo separa de la Ley. Maldice su mala suerte, durante los primeros años audazmente y en voz alta; más tarde, a medida que envejece, sólo murmura para sí. Retorna a la infancia, y como en su cuidadosa y larga contemplación del guardián ha llegado a conocer hasta las pulgas de su cuello de piel, también suplica a las pulgas que lo ayuden y convenzan al guardián. Finalmente, su vista se debilita, y ya no sabe si realmente hay menos luz, o si sólo lo engañan sus ojos. Pero en medio de la oscuridad distingue un resplandor, que surge inextinguible de la puerta de la Ley. Ya le queda poco tiempo de vida. Antes de morir, todas las experiencias de esos largos años se confunden en su mente en una sola pregunta, que hasta ahora no ha formulado. Hace señas al guardián para que se acerque, ya que el rigor de la muerte comienza a endurecer su cuerpo. El guardián se ve obligado a agacharse mucho para hablar con él, porque la disparidad de estaturas entre ambos ha aumentado bastante con el tiempo, para desmedro del campesino.

-¿Qué quieres saber ahora? -pregunta el guardián-. Eres insaciable.

-Todos se esfuerzan por llegar a la Ley -dice el hombre-; ¿cómo es posible entonces que durante tantos años nadie más que yo pretendiera entrar?

El guardián comprende que el hombre está por morir, y para que sus desfallecientes sentidos perciban sus palabras, le dice junto al oído con voz atronadora:

-Nadie podía pretenderlo porque esta entrada era solamente para ti. Ahora voy a cerrarla.

The colorfully-dressed matador in the ring with the bull is an iconic image strongly associated with Spain. In fact, it’s probably one of the first things foreigners who have never even visited the country will mention if you ask them about Spain. “Hey, isn’t that the country where they have bullfights and do siestas?”

Even though they say they don’t like the idea of animal torture, a lot of tourists want to see a  bullfight anyway. They buy tickets to see the bloody spectacle because “it’s a tradition.” It’s as if they believe that their visit to Spain will be incomplete unless they get to see a bullfight.

But times have changed and there are many Spaniards who find bullfighting a cruel, barbaric activity that should be banned forever. In fact, it was the efforts of Spanish animal rights activists that brought about the vote in the parliament.

At this point it’s uncertain whether or not other autonomous communities in Spain will follow suit. There’s still a sizable industry which exists around bullfighting and Spain’s conservative political party, el Partido Popular, is now rushing to come up with a new law that will give bullfighting special cultural status which will prevent it from being banned in Madrid.

What do you think? Is bullfighting a tradition which should be abolished? Or do you think there is a place for this kind of Old World tradition in a 21st-century modern, industrialized society?

La ciudad monumental y universitaria de Salamanca es famosa y es un lugar genial aprender español. Las calles del centro de la ciudad, en las que se respira un ambiente juvenil gracias a sus miles de universitarios españoles y extranjeros, desembocan siempre en su bellísima y muy animada Plaza Mayor.

Aunque el castellano nació en Cantabria y comenzó a escribirse en La Rioja, la lengua castellana recibió su nombre y se extendió por toda España y por América gracias a la importancia política de Castilla.  De hecho, Castilla fue el reino más poderoso, junto al de Aragón, de los muchos que surgieron en la Península Ibérica en la Edad Media.

El castellano de Castilla y León presenta algunas peculiaridades.

• Es habitual, incluso entre personas cultas, el leísmo, el laísmo y el loísmo, es decir, la confusión en el uso de los pronombres de complemento directo e indirecto.

• La d final de las palabras se pronuncia frecuentemente como una z (¡Veniz acá!)

• Como sucede en otras zonas, en la lengua oral se pierde la –d en las palabras acabadas en –ado (Estoy muy cansao).

————-

El ejemplo de un hablante de Castilla y León es José Manuel Pérez Ovejas, director tecnico, enólogo de Bodegas Hermanos Pérez Pascuas, ubicado en pleno corazón del Ribera del Duero. (En inglés, un enólogo es un “oenologist” o sea, “a wine expert.”)

Here’s some video of the places mentioned in the podcast.
La mezquita de Córdoba

I don’t know who the two men are in this video but I picked it because it has a lot of good shots of people wearing traditional clothing (women in flamenco dresses and men wearing “trajes cortos”) during the Feria de abril in Sevilla.

En Sevilla, la catedral y sobre todo su torre, la Giralda, es el símbolo más conocido de la ciudad. La Giralda es, en realidad, una torre de origen árabe a la que se añadió, siglos más tarde, un remate barroco.

El carácter festivo de Sevilla se refleja especialmente en la primavera, primero en la famosa Semana Santa y poco después en la Feria de abril.

En el siglo X y bajo dominio árabe, Córdoba fue la ciudad más importante del mundo. De esa época de esplendor conserva la Mezquita, convertida luego en catedral cristiana.

La Alhambra de Granada es una joya arquitectónica. Palacio refinado y fortaleza militar a la vez, la Alhambra es una obra maestra y la riquísima decoración y los jardines del Generalife forman un conjunto impresionante.

Por supuesto hay más lugares y rincones para ver, para pasear y para perderse en Andalucía. Sitios como la provincia de Almería y las ciudades de Cádiz, Jerez y Málaga.

En Andalucía, el castellano tiene algunos rasgos específicos:

En muchas zonas es común el seseo, es decir pronunciar como s el fonema /z/ (casuela en vez de cazuela, sirco por circo).

En otros lugares, en cambio, se cecea, esto es, se pronuncia el fonema /s/ como z (cevillano en vez de sevillano o zimple por simple).

L s se aspira y llega a desparecer cuando va al final de la palabra (casah o casa en vez de casas).

L d entre dos vocales también tiende a desaparecer (deo en lugar de dedo, peaso en vez de pedazo, pare por padre…).

L ch se pronuncia casi como una sh (mushasho y no muchacho).

En algunas provincias se usa ustedes en lugar de vosotros en ambientes familiares o de amigos.

Al final de sílaba o de palabra la r y la l pueden confundirse (sordao por soldado) o pueden desaparecer (mujé por mujer o papé en vez de papel.)

(Música: Estrella Morente)

Nadie habrá dejado de observar que con frecuencia el suelo se pliega de manera tal que una parte sube en ángulo recto con el plano del suelo, y luego la parte siguiente se coloca paralela a este plano, para dar paso a una nueva perpendicular, conducta que se repite en espiral o en línea quebrada hasta alturas sumamente variables. Agachándose y poniendo la mano izquierda en una de las partes verticales, y la derecha en la horizontal correspondiente, se está en posesión momentánea de un peldaño o escalón. Cada uno de estos peldaños, formados como se ve por dos elementos, se situá un tanto más arriba y adelante que el anterior, principio que da sentido a la escalera, ya que cualquiera otra combinación producirá formas quizá más bellas o pintorescas, pero incapaces de trasladar de una planta baja a un primer piso.

Las escaleras se suben de frente, pues hacia atrás o de costado resultan particularmente incómodas. La actitud natural consiste en mantenerse de pie, los brazos colgando sin esfuerzo, la cabeza erguida aunque no tanto que los ojos dejen de ver los peldaños inmediatamente superiores al que se pisa, y respirando lenta y regularmente. Para subir una escalera se comienza por levantar esa parte del cuerpo situada a la derecha abajo, envuelta casi siempre en cuero o gamuza, y que salvo excepciones cabe exactamente en el escalón. Puesta en el primer peldaño dicha parte, que para abreviar llamaremos pie, se recoge la parte equivalente de la izquierda (también llamada pie, pero que no ha de confundirse con el pie antes citado), y llevándola a la altura del pie, se le hace seguir hasta colocarla en el segundo peldaño, con lo cual en éste descansará el pie, y en el primero descansará el pie. (Los primeros peldaños son siempre los más difíciles, hasta adquirir la coordinación necesaria. La coincidencia de nombre entre el pie y el pie hace difícil la explicación. Cuídese especialmente de no levantar al mismo tiempo el pie y el pie).

Llegado en esta forma al segundo peldaño, basta repetir alternadamente los movimientos hasta encontrarse con el final de la escalera. Se sale de ella fácilmente, con un ligero golpe de talón que la fija en su sitio, del que no se moverá hasta el momento del descenso.

Dr. Martin is a podcasting pioneer. She was the first person to ever do an instructional Spanish language podcast for healthcare professionals and she has had one of the longest-running podcasts out there focused on Spanish grammar.

Here is a Q&A I did recently with Molly about her instructional Spanish language programs:

What prompted you to start the Medical Spanish Podcast?

Actually many things. My dad introduced me to podcasts during my Internal Medicine residency, and I found they were a great way to study medicine. I would listen to them while exercising and commuting. And then I discovered Spanish podcasts! My favorites are those that present everyday conversational Spanish and are interactive. When I saw there were no medical Spanish podcasts I decided to create my own using this format.

What is the format of the podcast?

As an Internal Medicine doctor, taking a good clinical history is key to providing quality care. So most topics we cover are based on a dialogue between a health professional and a patient. In writing these dialogues, I make sure to include the key questions you should ask when presented with a particular health concern.  All the dialogues are written and recorded with native Spanish speakers. And each dialogue is accompanied by a series of interactive exercises, which make up our Premium Podcast Series. The interactive exercises, are like audio flashcards, with spaces for the listener to translate the key vocabulary and key phrases from the dialogue. During these translation exercises, I try to explain the more tricky grammatical constructs using examples. I also plan to do more interviews pertaining to books, organizations and classes, of interest to those learning medical Spanish.

What level of Spanish does one need to have to benefit from the podcast? Currently, most of our lessons are for the intermediate to advanced Spanish speaker, but I’m in the process of developing more lessons for the beginner. At our website, I’ve included a notation next to each series denoting its level.

Is the podcast for doctors and nurses only?

Nope. Anyone who loves Spanish and wants to expand their medical vocabulary and speaking skills can benefit from this podcast. I think the best thing about them is that they are based on conversations and include interactive exercises so they really get you speaking and using your Spanish. Health is a common subject in everyday conversation, and the podcast focuses on the Spanish used with the patient, not the technical language of medical professionals.

How would you recommend people incorporate the podcast into a Spanish learning program?

I made the podcasts as a fun way to practice your spoken Spanish while commuting or exercising. They’re a great way to get yourself talking in Spanish when you’re amongst non-Spanish speakers.

How frequently are episodes released?

I publish a new episode for the free podcast at least every 2 weeks. And we will be putting together at least 10 Premium Podcast Series per year. Each series will focus on a topic introduced in the free podcast.

You recently redesigned and relaunched your web site. What are some of the major changes?

I’m really excited about this, as I think it will allow me to keep the Medical Spanish Podcast going strong! The new site gives gives the user the option to subscribe to Premium Podcast Series. I wanted to keep everything simple and automatic, while at the same time versatile. Once you create an account you are given a personal podcast feed. When you purchase one of our Premium Podcast Series, it automatically downloads to your computer through iTunes or another feed reader of your choice. We also have an annual subscription option, where you automatically receive every Premium Podcast Series we make.  Some other added features of the new site, is that now the show notes are viewable on your iPhone, in addition to your iPod and iPad. And now the podcasts are organized into categories making it easy to find what you want. Soon we will be adding quizzes.

Do you have a favorite episode or series of episodes?

Well we just started collaborating with Language Tailor, an online Spanish school, so I think the most recent series on Chest Pain and Asthma are the best indication of what to expect from future series.

You also have a Spanish Grammar podcast. Can you tell us a little about that podcast?

That was actually my first podcast, and it was the grammar group you and Michael Ray Lovett started over Skype that inspired the first episodes. I use this podcast to practice advanced grammatical concepts, and I’ve learned a lot during the process of writing it. I go over all the episodes with a native Spanish speaker. Instead of lengthy explanations, I use examples to demonstrate grammatical concepts. I started using this same technique to explain grammar in the Medial Spanish Podcast. I try to publish about one Spanish Grammar Podcast episode per month.

Molly’s website: Medical Spanish Podcast.com. You can also find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Instrucciones de Julio Cortázar

Preámbulo a las instrucciones para dar cuerda al reloj

Piensa en esto: cuando te regalan un reloj te regalan un pequeño infierno florido, una cadena de rosas, un calabozo de aire. No te dan solamente el reloj, que los cumplas muy felices y esperamos que te dure porque es de buena marca, suizo con áncora de rubíes; no te regalan solamente ese menudo picapedrero que te atarás a la muñeca y pasearás contigo. Te regalan —no lo saben, lo terrible es que no lo saben—, te regalan un nuevo pedazo frágil y precario de ti mismo, algo que es tuyo pero no es tu cuerpo, que hay que atar a tu cuerpo con su correa como un bracito desesperado colgándose de tu muñeca. Te regalan la necesidad de darle cuerda todos los días, la obligación de darle cuerda para que siga siendo un reloj; te regalan la obsesión de atender a la hora exacta en las vitrinas de las joyerías, en el anuncio por la radio, en el servicio telefónico. Te regalan el miedo de perderlo, de que te lo roben, de que se te caiga al suelo y se rompa. Te regalan su marca, y la seguridad de que es una marca mejor que las otras, te regalan la tendencia de comparar tu reloj con los demás relojes. No te regalan un reloj, tú eres el regalado, a ti te ofrecen para el cumpleaños del reloj.

Instrucciones para dar cuerda al reloj

Allá al fondo está la muerte, pero no tenga miedo. Sujete el reloj con una mano, tome con dos dedos la llave de la cuerda, remóntela suavemente. Ahora se abre otro plazo, los árboles despliegan sus hojas, las barcas corren regatas, el tiempo como un abanico se va llenando de sí mismo y de él brotan el aire, las brisas de la tierra, la sombra de una mujer, el perfume del pan.

¿Qué más quiere, qué más quiere? Atelo pronto a su muñeca, déjelo latir en libertad, imítelo anhelante. El miedo herrumbra las áncoras, cada cosa que pudo alcanzarse y fue olvidada va corroyendo las venas del reloj, gangrenando la fría sangre de sus rubíes. Y allá en el fondo está la muerte si no corremos y llegamos antes y comprendemos que ya no importa.

“Instala el amor”

Autor desconocido

(Música: “A la dirección” by Montoto)

Mujer: Centro de Atención al Cliente: ¿En qué puedo ayudarle?

Hombre: Acabo de adquirir el nuevo programa llamado AMOR. No soy muy técnico, pero creo que sería capaz de instalarlo con su ayuda…. ¿Qué es lo que debo hacer primero?

M: Lo primero que tiene que hacer es abrir SU CORAZÓN. ¿Lo tiene localizado?

H: Sí está, pero hay otros programas ejecutándose en este momento. ¿Puedo proceder a la instalación mientras están estos programas activos?

M.: ¿Qué programas son?

H: Vamos a ver……Tengo DAÑOSPASADOS, BAJAESTIMA, ENVIDIA….. Ah!, y RESENTIMIENTO ejecutándose en estos momentos…

M.: ¡No hay problema!. El programa AMOR borrará automáticamente el programa DAÑOSPASADOS de su sistema operativo, el cual puede permanecer en la memoria permanente, pero no entrará en conflicto con otros programas. AMOR sobreescribirá temporalmente BAJAESTIMA con el módulo que incluye llamado ALTAAUTOESTIMA. Sin embargo, es necesario que cierre completamente los programas CORAJES y RESENTIMIENTO, ya que esos programas pueden alterar la instalación de AMOR. ¿Puede cerrarlos ahora?

H: No sé exactamente cómo tengo que hacer, ¿me puede decir cómo?

M.: Es un placer. Vaya al menú INICIO y ejecute la aplicación OLVIDO. Repita este paso hasta que los ficheros CORAJES y RESENTIMIENTO hayan sido borrados completamente.

H: ¡¡Bien!!, parece que funciona….AMOR se ha empezado a instalar automáticamente….¿Es normal?

M.: Sí, lo es. Ahora debería recibir un mensaje indicando que se reinstalará de por vida en el directorio SU CORAZÓN, ¿aparece ese mensaje?

H: Sí aparece. ¿Ya está completamente instalado?

M: Sí, claro, pero recuerde que lo que Ud. tiene solamente es el programa base…. ahora necesita conectarlo a otro fichero en otro computador para que pueda conseguir las actualizaciones.

H: Oooppppsss…Tengo un mensaje de ERROR, ¿qué puedo hacer?

M: ¿De qué mensaje se trata?

H: Dice: “ERROR 412 – PROGRAMA NO ESTÁ EJECUTANDOSE EN COMPONENTES INTERNOS.”… ¿qué significa?

M.: No se preocupe, es un problema común, significa que la aplicación AMOR está ejecutándose en CORAZÓNES externos de otras computadoras, pero todavía no se ha empezado a ejecutar aún en el suyo propio… Esto quiere decir que debe identificar algunos programas llamados AMISTAD y los renombre como POSIBLEAMOR. Esto es uno de los problemas técnicos que aún no hemos acabado de resolver porque cada computador es diferente, pero no significa que le vaya a fallar técnicamente el programa AMOR. En términos de programación significa que debe que tener el programa AMOR ejecutándose en su computador antes que AMAR en el otro computador para conectarse…

H: ¿Qué debería hacer?

M: ¿Puede encontrar el directorio llamado ACEPTAMIENTOS?

H: Sí lo he localizado.

M: Excelente. Va por el buen camino….

H: Gracias

M: De nada, Haga click en los siguientes ficheros AUTOOLVIDO, AUTOESTIMA, MEJORAS y BONDAD y cópielos al directorio MI CORAZÓN. El sistema sobreescribirá cualquier fichero con conflictos y fallos de programación. También necesita eliminar los ficheros AUTOCRITICA y CULPABILIDAD de todos sus directorios, y después vaciar completamente la PAPELERA DE RECICLAJE, para asegurar que nunca más podrán ser recuperados.

H: ¡Conseguido! “MI CORAZÓN” está empezando a llenarse de ficheros organizados, el video SONRISA está viéndose en mi monitor en estos momentos, y las aplicaciones ENAMORAMIENTO, PAZ, e ILUSION se están autoescribiendo en “MI CORAZÓN”.

M: Entonces la aplicación AMOR está instalada y ejecutándose correctamente. A partir de ahora debe ser Ud. capaz de manejarla correctamente… Una cosa antes de terminar…

H: ¿Sí?

M: AMOR es “freeware”. Asegúrese de distribuirlo y enviárselo conjunto a todos sus módulos de ficheros a todo el mundo… Eso asegurará que los ficheros de su computador estén siempre bien organizados y que el otro computador al que esté conectado le devuelva siempre los ficheros deseados.

H: Por supuesto que lo haré, muchísimas gracias por su ayuda.

M: Ha sido un placer ayudarle…..

¡Instala el AMOR en tu CORAZÓN!

Fati is from Argentina and Charles is from Brooklyn, NY. When they got married and started a family, it was very important to both of them that they raise bilingual children. Back in August 2008 they started singing songs in Spanish on the weekends in a Brooklyn park. Their musical outings grew in popularity and eventually they decided to formalize their project by recording a CD and launching their company called Abbasubi.

Most of the songs center on everyday life (going to school, getting dressed, taking a bath, etc.) and are a neat way to help young children maintain contact with the Spanish language.

Click here for a link to a PDF of the story.

It’s an impressive achievement, especially when you consider the book’s size (close to 4,000 pages) and it’s price (120€ / $168). Obviously there is an untapped need for such a book.

Two other editions, smaller in size, will be available later this year. Listen to this week’s podcast “La nueva gramática española de la A a la Z” for some of the odd items listed in the two-volume set.

Tourism is one of the most important industries in Spain injecting billions of euros in revenue into its economy. Approximately 58 million foreigners visit Spain each year, making the country the third-most popular tourist destination in the world after France and the United States. However, in recent years the tourism sector has been hit hard by the global recession.

It’s been a long time since Turespaña, Spain’s tourism board, has come up with a new advertising slogan. With the industry in a collective slump, this year is considered a good a time to start reminding the world that Spain remains an ideal tourist destination.

Its classic marketing phrase created back in the 1960s,( “Spain is Different”), was officially retired long ago. However, it remains an iconic phrase that people still use to this day.

The new slogan, which was announced last month, is “Necesito España. (I need Spain).” When I first heard of this marketing campaign I was excited to see the ads, but I was a little disappointed once I saw them.

The ads look great but something is…missing. The commercials are about the foreign traveler’s experience in Spain but two of the four ads seem kind of generic in terms of imagery. You don’t come away with a strong sense of the distinctive personality of the people and the culture of Spain. It’s all rather safe and bland.

And I think I know a possible reason why. The ad agency behind the campaign is McKann Erickson, a U.S. advertising firm, famous for many big ad campaigns and well-known ad slogans. But perhaps it would’ve been better if Turespaña had gone with a homegrown “Made in Spain” ad agency to get a more unique flavor to the ads.

The first ad of a young family on a beach vacation looks like they could be in Florida. Yes, there are brief shots of La Ciudad de las Artes y las Ciencias in Valencia, a dish of paella and of a volcano on the Canary Islands, but the overall imagery isn’t distinctive enough.

With the exception of a few shots, there is little one-on-one interaction between tourists and Spaniards. (Although the very brief clip of the two old Spaniards giving the family conflicting directions by pointing in opposite directions made me laugh. Blink and you’ll miss it.) The foreigners are having fun but in a bubble where they don’t need to rub elbows with the natives.

The second spot, the one with the three young friends, works because it does represent what pretty well what a young single person’s vacation would be like in Spain. Also, I appreciate that the female in the group looks like she could be Spanish. It appears that the two guys are foreign friends who have come to visit, perhaps not for the first time because the closing line is “necesito volver a España.”

But the best commercial, in my opinion, is the last one with the Asian couple because it gives a good sense of place, mixing images of narrow streets with famous monuments and beautiful landscapes. It’s romantic, dreamy and glamorous and I feel like I’m in Spain when I see that particular spot.

But I think my biggest problem with the ads is that they’re all in Spanish. Comments on YouTube from Spaniards are uniformly positive about the ads. But they’re not the target audience. Turespaña claims that the target audience for this ad campaign is an international one, residing outside of Spain. They specifically wish to increase the number of visitors from Asia and North America.

However, it’s been a little over a month since they announced the campaign and they still haven’t released any versions of the commercials in English or any other language. There’s no info on their website as to when they will launch the campaign in English and what other languages will be included. C’mon Turespaña, that’s Marketing 101: Know your audience and cater to it.

To those of you have been to Spain or live in Spain, what do you think of these ads? Do they effectively capture what it’s like? And to those of you who have never been to Spain, do these ads make you want to pack your bags and come for a visit? Tell me what you think in the comments below.

Dejar de ser mono

de Augusto Monterroso

EL espíritu de investigación no tiene límites. En los Estados Unidos y en Europa han descubierto a últimas fechas que existe una especie de monos hispanoamericanos capaces de expresarse por escrito, réplicas quizá del mono diligente que a fuerza de teclear una máquina termina por escribir de nuevo, azarosamente, los sonetos de Shakespeare. Tal cosa, como es natural, llena estas buenas gentes de asombro, y no falta quien traduzca nuestros libros, ni, mucho menos, ociosos que los compren, como antes compraban las cabecitas reducidas de los jíbaros. Hace más de cuatro siglos que fray Bartolomé de las Casas pudo convencer a los europeos de que éramos humanos y de que teníamos un alma porque nos reíamos; ahora quieren convencerse de lo mismo porque escribimos.

El conejo y el león

de Augusto Monterroso

Un celebre Psicoanalista se encontró cierto día en medio de la Selva, semiperdido.
Con la fuerza que dan el instinto y el afán de investigación logró fácilmente subirse a un altísimo árbol, desde el cual pudo observar a su antojo no sólo la lenta puesta del sol sino además la vida y costumbres de algunos animales, que comparó una y otra vez con las de los humanos.

Al caer la tarde vio aparecer, por un lado, al Conejo; por otro, al León.

En un principio no sucedió nada digno de mencionarse, pero poco
después ambos animales sintieron sus respectivas presencias y, cuando
toparon el uno con el otro, cada cual reaccionó como lo había venido
haciendo desde que el hombre era hombre.

El León estremeció la Selva con sus rugidos, sacudió la melena
majestuosamente como era su costumbre y hendió el aire con sus garras
enormes; por su parte, el Conejo respiró con mayor celeridad, vio un
instante a los ojos del León, dio media vuelta y se alejó corriendo.

De regreso a la ciudad el celebre Psicoanalista publicó cum laude su
famoso tratado en que demuestra que el León es el animal más infantil
y cobarde de la Selva, y el Conejo el más valiente y maduro: el León
ruge y hace gestos y amenaza al universo movido por el miedo; el
Conejo advierte esto, conoce su propia fuerza, y se retira antes de
perder la paciencia y acabar con aquel ser extravagante y fuera de sí,
al que comprende y que después de todo no le ha hecho nada.

Matthew has lived and worked in Spain for more than a decade as a translator and language teacher. He has written extensively about the highs and lows of his career on his blog, from launching a business in Spain to selling it and starting over again. He also has a free email newsletter called the Spanglish Lex List filled with Spanish vocabulary and news articles related to the Spanish economy, politics and culture. You can subscribe to his newsletter by visiting his blog MatthewBennet.es. If you’re on Twitter, you can find him @MatthewBennett.

“Cómo acercarse a las fábulas”

de Augusto Monterroso

Con precaución, como a cualquier cosa pequeña. Pero sin miedo. Finalmente se

descubrirá que ninguna fábula es dañina, excepto cuando alcanza a verse en ella alguna enseñanza. Esto es malo.

Si no fuera malo, el mundo se regiría por las fábulas de Esopo; pero en tal caso desaparecería todo lo que hace interesante el mundo, como los ricos, los prejuicios raciales, el color de la ropa interior y la guerra; y el mundo sería entonces muy aburrido, porque no habría heridos para las sillas de ruedas, ni pobres a quienes ayudar, ni negros para trabajar en los muelles, ni gente bonita para la revista Vogue.

Así, lo mejor es acercarse a las fábulas buscando de qué reír.

-Eso es. He ahí un libro de fábulas. Corre a comprarlo. No, mejor te lo regalo: verás, yo nunca me había reído tanto.

You can find the complete text of “El mono y el cocodrilo” on Raji’s blog, Spanish Learnings, where she writes in both Spanish and English about interesting aspects of life in India.

Thanks, Raji!

[Raji's blog: http://spanishlearnings.blogspot.com]

• El dedo (read by Eugenio of Mexico)
• El doble para sus vecinos (read by Donizetti from Colombia)
• Diez años después (read by Luis from Spain)

You can find the complete texts of these stories by clicking on the individual story titles above.

Diez años después

Un cuento hindú

El monarca de un reino de la India tuvo noticias de que había en la localidad un faquir capaz de realizar extraordinarias proezas. El rey lo hizo llamar y, cuando lo tuvo ante él, le preguntó:

-¿Qué proezas puedes efectuar?

-Muchas, majestad -repuso el faquir-. Por ejemplo, puedo permanecer bajo tierra durante meses o incluso años.

-¿Podrías ser enterrado por diez años y seguir con vida después? -preguntó el monarca.

-Sin duda, majestad -aseveró el faquir.

-Si es así, cuando seas desenterrado, recibirás el diamante más puro del reino.

Se procedió a enterrar al faquir.

Se preparó una fosa a varios metros de profundidad y se dispuso de una urna de plomo. El faquir, antes de ser sepultado, se extendió hablando sobre sus cualidades espirituales y morales que hacían posible su autodominio y poder. Todos quedaron convencidos de su santidad. Fue introducido a continuación en la urna y enterrado.

Durante diez años hubo guardianes vigilando la fosa. Nadie albergaba la menor esperanza de que el faquir sobreviviese a la prueba.

Transcurrió el tiempo convenido. Toda la corte acudió a la tumba del faquir, con la certeza de que, a pesar de su santidad y poder, habría muerto y el cadáver sería solamente un conjunto de huesos putrefactos.

Sacaron la urna al exterior, la abrieron y hallaron al faquir en estado de catalepsia. Poco a poco el hombre se fue reanimando, efectuó varias respiraciones profundas, abrió los ojos, dio un salto y sus primeras palabras fueron:

-¡Por Dios!, ¡¿dónde está el diamante?!

The audio of minicuentos 8, 9 and 10 are all part of one recording which you can find in the March 28, 2010 blog entry entitled “3 Minicuentos”: http://spanish-podcast.com/2010/03/28/3-minicuentos/

El doble para sus vecinos

Zeus, el dios que reinaba sobre todos los dioses griegos, salió a dar un paseo por la tierra pues sentía curiosidad por las cosas de los hombres. En su paseo llegó a una aldea donde parecían reinar la discordia y el odio. En un campo descubrió a un labrador que se mataba a trabajar hasta el agotamiento, empujando penosamente la reja de un miserable arado.

Zeus quiso enseñar algo de generosidad en la comarca, y le dijo:

-Soy el gran Zeus, y estoy en disposición de concederle cualquier cosa que desee. Pídame lo que quiera y se lo daré. Pero antes debe saber que por cada cosa que pida daré el doble a sus vecinos. Si usted me pide cien monedas de oro, les reglaré doscientas a ellos…

El labrador apretó la boca mientras cavilaba, hasta que por fin con una malvada sonrisa expresó su deseo:

-¡Reviénteme un ojo!

The audio of minicuentos 8, 9 and 10 are all part of one recording which you can find in the March 28, 2010 blog entry entitled “3 Minicuentos”: http://spanish-podcast.com/2010/03/28/3-minicuentos/

El dedo

Un cuento chino

Un hombre pobre se encontró en su camino a un antiguo amigo. Éste tenía un poder sobrenatural que le permitía hacer milagros. Como el hombre pobre se quejara de las dificultades de su vida, su amigo tocó con el dedo un ladrillo que de inmediato se convirtió en oro. Se lo ofreció al pobre, pero éste se lamentó de que eso era muy poco. El amigo tocó un león de piedra que se convirtió en un león de oro macizo y lo agregó al ladrillo de oro. El amigo insistió en que ambos regalos eran poca cosa.

-¿Qué más deseas, pues? -le preguntó sorprendido el hacedor de prodigios.

-¡Quisiera tu dedo! -contestó el otro.

The audio of minicuentos 8, 9 and 10 are all part of one recording which you can find in the March 28, 2010 blog entry entitled “3 Minicuentos”: http://spanish-podcast.com/2010/03/28/3-minicuentos/

LA VENTANA

Autor desconocido

Había una vez dos hombres, los dos con enfermedades graves en la misma pequeña habitación de un gran hospital. Pese a ser una habitación minúscula, tenía una ventana que miraba al mundo. A uno de los hombres, como parte de su tratamiento, se le permitía sentarse en la cama durante una hora por la tarde. Su cama estaba junto a la ventana. Sin embargo el otro hombre debía pasar todo el tiempo acostado, boca arriba.

Todas las tardes, cuando el hombre que estaba al lado de la ventana se incorporaba, pasaba el tiempo describiendo lo que veía fuera. Al parecer, la ventana daba a un parque en el que había un lago. En él había patos, cisnes y los chicos se acercaban para arrojarles pan y hacer navegar sus barquitos. Los enamorados caminaban de la mano junto a los árboles. Había césped, arriates con flores y juegos. Al fondo, detrás de la hilera de árboles, se veia un espléndido panorama de la ciudad recortada en el cielo.

El hombre acostado escuchaba las descripciones que cada día le hacia el otro hombre, disfrutando cada minuto. Oía que un chico casi había caído al lago y que bandas de golondrinas y otras aves el cielo. Las descripciones de su compañero, en definitiva, le hacian sentir que prácticamente podía ver lo que pasaba en el exterior.

Una mañana, la enfermera que iba a atenderle, encontró que el hombre de la ventana habia fallecido, y en silencio, se llevarón su cadáver. Cuando lo consideró oportuno, el hombre preguntó si no podian cambiarlo a la cama que estaba al lado de la ventana.

Lo trasladaron, lo instalaron y lo pusieron cómodo.

En cuanto se fuerón las enfermeras, con dificultad y laboriosamente se incorporó y se asomó por la ventana.

Enfrente sólo había una pared blanca…

Cuando llegó la enfermera, le preguntó qué motivo pudo mover al paciente anterior para contarle con tanto detalle, cosas que se había inventado y que sin embargo a él le habían hecho tanto bien en su enfermedad. La enfermera le contestó, que su vecino era ciego, y a lo mejor lo que quería era haberle dado ánimo.

Luis & Joan Rojas of La Casa Rojas are releasing free video Spanish lessons weekdays covering everything, from Spanish phonetics to Spanish grammar and idiomatic expressions. They explain:

“Here’s how it works. Each day, Monday through Friday, we publish a new Spanish class in the format of a 10-minute video. Each class builds on the one of the day before. We ask you to do some stuff on your own and if you follow along with us, by December 31, 2010, you will have made new friends, expanded your knowledge of your world and probably be planning a trip to some great Spanish speaking local, just to show off a little.”

They have already posted more than 50 videos on their web site but if you already know some Spanish you can take an a la carte approach and pick and choose the topics that are of most interest to you.

Day 50 Spanish Video Journal: An introduction to Indirect Object from Luis Rojas on Vimeo.

Follow her on Twitter @spanishblog where she posts excellent Spanish-learning tips and directs you to useful language-learning tools online.

Final para un cuento fantástico

Escrito por I.A. Ireland

-¡Que extraño! -dijo la muchacha avanzando cautelosamente-. ¡Qué puerta más pesada!

La tocó, al hablar, y se cerró de pronto, con un golpe.

-¡Dios mío! -dijo el hombre-. Me parece que no tiene picaporte del lado de adentro.
¡Cómo, nos han encerrado a los dos!

-A los dos no. A uno solo -dijo la muchacha.

Pasó a través de la puerta y desapareció.

Could there be that many people who were turned off by the short stories that they then took the extra step of canceling the subscription? A handful of people, sure. But hundreds? It didn’t make sense.

Then I remembered….iTunes will suspend a podcast subscription when the user hasn’t listened to any recent episodes. The magic number appears to be 5. If you have five or more unplayed episodes of a podcast on your computer, iTunes automatically stops downloading new episodes. The way to reactivate the podcast is to click on the exclamation mark next to the podcast name and manually inform iTunes that you wish to resume your subscription.

Since there have been six new podcasts issued in the past two weeks, it makes sense that  there might be a drop in the number of subscribers who appeared to have unsubscribed.  Actually, they probably haven’t. They’re just not listening.

I know that some people like to build up a bank of podcasts, especially when the episodes are short, and then listen to them all in one go. Here’s a solution: Whenever a new episode downloads to your iTunes account, go ahead and just click on it. You don’t actually have to listen to the entire episode at that time. Having the podcast play for even two seconds counts as a “partial play” and makes the iTunes software believe that you’ve listened to part of the podcast. Listening = Acknowledgement = Interest, which means your subscription stays current and future episodes will continue to download automatically.

By the way, if you haven’t subscribed to the podcast and would like to, click here to subscribe through iTunes or here to subscribe via Google Reader. Both options are free and you can cancel at any time with no further obligation.

El niño al que se le murió el amigo

de Ana María Matute

Una mañana se levantó y fue a buscar al amigo, al otro lado de la valla. Pero el amigo no estaba, y, cuando volvió, le dijo la madre:

-El amigo se murió.

-Niño, no pienses más en él y busca otros para jugar.

El niño se sentó en el quicio de la puerta, con la cara entre las manos y los codos en las rodillas. «Él volverá», pensó. Porque no podía ser que allí estuviesen las canicas, el camión y la pistola de hojalata, y el reloj aquel que ya no andaba, y el amigo no viniese a buscarlos. Vino la noche, con una estrella muy grande, y el niño no quería entrar a cenar.

-Entra, niño, que llega el frío -dijo la madre.

Pero, en lugar de entrar, el niño se levantó del quicio y se fue en busca del amigo, con las canicas, el camión, la pistola de hojalata y el reloj que no andaba. Al llegar a la cerca, la voz del amigo no le llamó, ni le oyó en el árbol, ni en el pozo. Pasó buscándole toda la noche. Y fue una larga noche casi blanca, que le llenó de polvo el traje y los zapatos. Cuando llegó el sol, el niño, que tenía sueño y sed, estiró los brazos y pensó: «Qué tontos y pequeños son esos juguetes. Y ese reloj que no anda, no sirve para nada».

Lo tiró todo al pozo, y volvió a la casa, con mucha hambre. La madre le abrió la puerta, y dijo:

-Cuánto ha crecido este niño, Dios mío, cuánto ha crecido.

Y le compró un traje de hombre, porque el que llevaba le venía muy corto.

1. Something interesting in your local culture, local slang, or an interesting place in your city or country

2. Your favorite…book, movie, hobby…(you decide)

Members of the Lenguajero community will vote for their favorite audiocasts, and the two winners (one English speaker and one Spanish speaker) will each receive a $75 USD gift card to the winners choice of Amazon.com, iTunes, or Mercado Libre, as well as several fanastic language learning programs. Voices en Español is one of the sponsors, so the winners can get a free packet of Cody’s Cuentos story transcripts, if they’d like.

¡Mira!

Author unknown

Había una vez un hombre muy rico. Y había también un hombre muy pobre. Cada uno de ellos tenía un hijo y cada uno de ellos vivía a un lado de una hermosa colina.

Un día, el hombre muy rico subió con su hijo a lo alto de la colina y abarcando todo el paisaje con un amplio gesto de su brazo, dijo:

-Mira, ¡pronto todo esto será tuyo!

En ese mismo instante, el hombre muy pobre subió con su hijo por la otra ladera de la colina y, delante del sol poniente que iluminaba la llanura, le dijo a su hijo sencillamente:

-¡Mira!

Cuando paseamos por la naturaleza, cuando nos encontramos ante un hermoso paisaje, solo de nosotros depende considerar que es un bien común y compartido. Nuestra sociedad ha ido desvalorizando completamente la felicidad “gratuita” y sólo glorifica la propiedad y la compra. Ha valorado el “tener” por delante del “ser” y la economía por delante del individuo.

Sin embargo, ¿necesitamos realmente poseer algo para admirarlo y sentir felicidad? El cuadro de un maestro de la pintura que admiramos en un museo está al alcance de todos. ¿Verdad que así le sacamos más provecho que a lo que está guardado dentro de un cofre?

Letra de la canción: “Las simples cosas” sung by Buika

Uno se despide insensiblemente de pequeñas cosas,
lo mismo que un árbol que en tiempo de otoño muere por sus hojas.
Al fin la tristeza es la muerte lenta de las simples cosas,
esas cosas simples que quedan doliendo en el corazón.

Uno vuelve siempre a los viejos sitios donde amó la vida,
y entonces parece como están de ausentes las cosas queridas.
Por eso muchacho no partas ahora soñando el regreso,
que el amor es simple, y a las cosas simples las devora el tiempo.

Demórate aquí, en la luz mayor de este mediodía,
donde encontrarás con el pan al sol la mesa tendida.
Por eso muchacho no partas ahora soñando el regreso,
que el amor es simple, y a las cosas simples las devora el tiempo.

Check out his blog Fluent in 3 Months, which he frequently updates with creative ways to stay motivated and focused when learning a foreign language.

Unfortunately, the story I selected for Benny was truly a minicuento, so it didn’t give him much of a showcase to speak Spanish. To make up for that, I’m posting a humorous but very practical travel video in Spanish he did for his other blog, Irish Polyglot, explaining how to pack light for a trip.

On his blog Fluent in 3 Months Benny has creative ways to stay motivated when learning a foreign language. He’s also got plenty of video content of himself speaking in different languages over at the IrishPolyglot.com.

“La partida”

de Franz Kafka

Ordené que trajeran mi caballo del establo. El sirviente no entendió mis órdenes. Así que fui al establo yo mismo, le puse silla a mi caballo y lo monté. A la distancia escuché el sonido de una trompeta y le pregunté al sirviente qué significaba. Él no sabía nada ni escuchó nada. En el portal me detuvo y preguntó:

-¿Adónde va el patrón?

-No lo sé -le dije- simplemente fuera de aquí, simplemente fuera de aquí. Fuera de aquí, nada más, es la única manera en que puedo alcanzar mi meta.

-¿Así que usted conoce su meta? -preguntó.

-Sí -repliqué- te lo acabo de decir. Fuera de aquí, esa es mi meta.

Música: “Emocionado” de Fidel Nadal

Me siento emocionado,
por la vida que me ha tocado,
mucho tiempo la he desperdiciado,
pero hoy, la he abrazado si…

Me siento emocionado,
por la vida que me ha tocado,
mucho tiempo la he desperdiciado,
pero hoy, la he abrazado…

Me acuerdo de los días de bajón,
cuando solo en mi vida había tribulación,
no había alegría en mi corazón,
hasta que Rastafari tomo una decisión,
no me dejo solo en esta transición,
él es el que bombea en mi corazón,
él nos da el talento en esta ocasión,
así que hay que seguir y hay que ponerle emoción…

Me siento emocionado,
por la vida que me ha tocado,
mucho tiempo la he desperdiciado,
pero hoy, la he abrazado si….

Me siento emocionado,
por la vida que me ha tocado,
mucho tiempo la he desperdiciado,
pero hoy, la he abrazado…

Me acuerdo de días de perdición,
cuando no había sentido ni había dirección,
yo se que a mucha gente le da inspiración,
escuchar algo nuevo en la estación de radio,
así que ahora no aflojes que falta un montón,
hay que demostrarlo completar nuestra misión,
hablar por hablar esa no es la cuestión,
y cantar por cantar, no, sin noción,
abrazarte a la vida ,
acordarte cuando estabas tirado sin comida ,
no había nadie que te cure tus heridas,
todo parecía una calle sin salida,
te dejaban solo las personas que querías,
como salir de todo esto no sabias,
hasta que escuchaste esta melodía,
te reconforto y te trajo alegría y armonía…

Gracias amigos gracias enemigos,
porque sus pensamientos siempre están conmigo,
no me molesta tener contrincantes,
así cuando entreno yo puedo inspirarme,
tampoco yo quiero destruir a nadie,
vine a construir y a edificarme,
no me malentiendan no se malacostumbren,
gracias a la gente llegamos a la cumbre…

Emocionado,
Por la vida que me ha tocado,
Mucho tiempo la he desperdiciado,
Pero hoy, la he abrazado si….

Me siento emocionado,
por la vida que me ha tocado,
mucho tiempo la he desperdiciado,
pero hoy, la he abrazado si…

“La escuela del hambre”
Un cuento japonés

Esta historia transcurre en el siglo XVII en Japón, durante un periodo de hambre.

Un campesino que no tenía con qué alimentar a su familla se acuerda de la costumbre que promete una fuerte recompensa al que sea capaz de desafiar y vencer al maestro de una escuela de sable.

Aunque no había tocado un arma en su vida, el campesino desafía al maestro más famoso de la región.

El día fijado, delante de un publico numeroso, los dos hombres se enfrentan.

El campesino, sin mostrarse nada impresionado por la reputación de su adversario, lo espera a pie firme, mientras que el maestro de sable estaba un poco turbado por tal determinación.

“¿Quién será este hombre?” piensa. “Jamás ningún villano hubiera tenido el valor de desafiarme. ¿No será una trampa de mis enemigos?”

El campesino, acuciado por el hambre, se adelanta resueltamente hacia su rival. El Maestro duda, desconcertado por la total ausencia de técnica de su adversario.

Finalmente, retrocede movido por el miedo. Antes incluso del primer asalto, el maestro siente que será vencido. Baja su sable y dice:

-Usted es el vencedor. Por primera vez en mi vida he sido abatido. Entre todas las escuelas de sable, la mía es la más renombrada. Es conocida con el nombre de “La que en un solo gesto lleva diez mil golpes”. ¿Puedo preguntarle, respetuosamente, el nombre de su escuela?

-La escuela del hambre -responde el campesino.

I wanted to showcase the variety of accents that exist among Spanish speakers, although I’ll tell you upfront that what I will be podcasting is just a very small sample of the diversity that exists en el mundo hispanohablante. (By the way, if anyone out there with an Argentine, Cuban, Dominican or Puerto Rican accent reads this and would like to participate in a future podcast, please email me.)

There will be at least 12 different stories podcast during the next four weeks, so if you haven’t subscribed to the podcast via iTunes or via Google Reader, now is the time to do so. The complete texts of each cuento will also be posted on this web site. In some episodes, there will be music and you just need to check that epsiode’s “show notes” on this blog for the name and link to the singer or musical group.

First in the lineup is Cristina from Barcelona, Spain reading “Instrucciones para llorar” by Julio Cortázar. Enjoy!

Instrucciones para llorar. Dejando de lado los motivos, atengámonos a la manera correcta de llorar, entendiendo por esto un llanto que no ingrese en el escándalo, ni que insulte a la sonrisa con su paralela y torpe semejanza. El llanto medio u ordinario consiste en una contracción general del rostro y un sonido espasmódico acompañado de lágrimas y mocos, estos últimos al final, pues el llanto se acaba en el momento en que uno se suena enérgicamente. Para llorar, dirija la imaginación hacia usted mismo, y si esto le resulta imposible por haber contraído el hábito de creer en el mundo exterior, piense en un pato cubierto de hormigas o en esos golfos del estrecho de Magallanes en los que no entra nadie, nunca. Llegado el llanto, se tapará  con decoro el rostro usando ambas manos con la palma hacia adentro. Los niños llorarán con la manga del saco contra la cara, y de preferencia en un rincón del cuarto. Duración media del llanto, tres minutos.

Music: “Ya no duele” (featuring Santullo) by Bajofondo

How many times have you heard or read a Spanish expression and then consulted a dictionary for its meaning and turned up empty? Maybe you found a definition right away. But perhaps there have been a few occasions where it took a little bit of digging to find the definition.

There is an easy way to uncover the meanings of Spanish expressions and you can do it by using a monolingual (Spanish-only) dictionary. Here’s how:

Always look up the meaning of an expression by checking the dictionary entry for the first noun mentioned in the expression. The reason? A Spanish verb is more likely than a Spanish noun to be used in multiple expressions. For example, the verbs dar, estar, ir, tener, are used in plenty of Spanish phrases and expressions. An excellent Spanish dictionary will list expressions that contain those verbs, but if there are numerous expressions, most dictionaries usually only list the most commonly-used ones. That’s why you’re better off looking for the definition of a Spanish expression by first checking the entry for the main noun mentioned.

Spanish expressions (frases hechas) are combinations of words whose meaning adds up to something very different from their individual parts.

Take, for example, an expression like “ir al grano.” The verb ir means “to go” while the noun grano can be a seed, a grain of sand or a pimple on somebody’s face. But when ir is added to grano (ir al grano) the meaning changes from a literal translation to a figurative one.

When I checked the dictionary under “IR” there was no definition for the expression. But when I checked “GRANO”, there was the expression with its meaning. Ir al grano means “to get to the point.”

So, to recap, here’s a step-by-step process you can use to find the definition of a Spanish expression.

Step 1: First, look up the primary NOUN

Step 2: If there is no noun, look up the VERB.

Step 3: If there is no verb, look up the ADJECTIVE.

Step 4:  If there is no adjective, look up the PRONOUN.

Most of the time, you won’t have to go down that entire scale. You will usually find your definition by first looking up the noun or the verb. Usually the first two steps (checking the noun or the verb listed in the expression) is enough.

By the way, I strongly believe that once you reach an intermediate-level of Spanish, you should start using a Spanish-only dictionary. Why? A monolingual dictionary usually gives a more comprehensive definition. A good monolingual dictionary will also give you examples as well as multiple definitions. The average bilingual dictionary, because it contains two different languages, generally does not have the space, if it is in book form, to offer the same level of detail.

Of course, there are some electronic or digital bilingual dictionaries which are excellent, but another advantage to using a monolingual dictionary is that it forces you to think in Spanish. That means less translating in your head, which is a good thing.

Previous entry: “How to use a Spanish-English Dictionary”

You may remember Amy from her very entertaining 2008 video 21 Accents. Now she’s back with a short instructional video on how anyone can improve their accent in any language. Amy says the key to nailing an accent is to be intensely fascinated by the language and its native speakers.

Pick a Spanish-speaking region or country which has an accent (and culture) you find appealing and use that as your foundation. Flood your brain with audio samples (music, radio, movies, TV, podcasts, etc.) from that region or country and then try to model your speech as much as possible from that input.

Here’s a summary of Amy’s advice on how to polish any accent:

Vowels & Consonants

Learn exactly what the vowel and consonant sounds and rules are and then practice, practice, practice. This is a particularly important piece for native-English speakers learning Spanish since Spanish has only five vowel sounds whereas English has as many as a dozen sounds for the same letters. For many English-speakers, when they initially start learning Spanish, they naturally revert to using the English vowel sounds when they need to stick rigidly to the five Spanish ones.

Melody, Rhythm & Stress

This is the intonation of the language. Where and when are words stressed? What is the natural rise and fall of the spoken language? How does one reproduce the musicality of the language? I think for many people, this is the hardest part to perfect when learning a foreign language.

Grammar & Vocabulary

Know which grammar structures and regionalisms, etc., go with the Spanish accent you are trying to duplicate. For example, you may be able to do a good Argentine accent, but if you use expressions that are used primarily in Mexico while you are visiting Buenos Aires, it may seem odd.

Think about what it would be like to hear a foreigner with an impeccable American accent using British English words such as “lift” or lorry” instead of “elevator” or “truck.”  You might wonder how they were able to nail the accent but missed learning some basic rules about British vs. American English.

Find the “vibe”

By this Amy means that you need to find the inherent character and personality of the language and then fake it until you make it.

PART I

PART II

It may seem so basic that it’s not even worth mentioning. But last week I discovered that my some of my students were hazy on how to use a bilingual dictionary. That realization made me decide that perhaps there are plenty of other language learners out there who could use a few pointers on how to use a Spanish-English dictionary effectively.

Step 1: Use a reliable dictionary.

For an online dictionary, I recommend Word Reference.com. For an iPhone app, plenty of people have raved to me about the SpanishDict app.

For conventional hardcover/paperback book versions of dictionaries, take a look at Spanish-English dictionaries published by Merriam-Webster or Larousse. I’ve used these in the past and they’re decent. In “What Spanish Dictionary to Use?,” Spanish instructor Ramses Oudt gives a few suggestions.

Step 2: Know what you’re looking for

By this I mean, know what part of speech you need. Are you looking for a noun? An adjective? An adverb? An interjection? The English language has many words that are spelled exactly the same but represent different parts of speech. For example, the English word “well” can be a noun, an adjective, an adverb or an interjection. If you consult a Spanish-English dictionary not knowing which version of “well” you need, it’s likely that you’re going to wind up using the wrong word in Spanish.

3. Use correct spelling of the English word

This is related to Step 2. Once you know which part of speech you are looking for, be sure to spell the word correctly in English. There are numerous words in English which sound the same but are spelled differently and they have different meanings. Words like be/bee; bow/beau; hole/whole; plain/plane, see/sea, etc.  Look up the word “bow” in a Spanish-English dictionary when what you really have in mind is the word “beau,” is going to lead you to use the wrong word in Spanish.

4. Do a reverse look-up

This means that once you find the Spanish word on the English side of the dictionary, flip back over to the Spanish side and check which English word is given for the same word. At times you may be surprised by how the words differ.

Doing this reverse lookup is extremely important. Some Spanish-English dictionaries seem like they were produced by two separate teams of translators who didn’t consult one another when putting the complete dictionary together.

For example, one Spanish-English dictionary I checked for the word guapo told me that its English equivalent was the word “attractive.” What I expected to find was “beautiful/handsome.”

Then I checked the English side of the dictionary for the word “beautiful.” This particular dictionary gave me the Spanish words hermoso, bonito. But when I then checked the Spanish side of the dictionary for bonito to see what English word would appear, it gave me the English word “pretty.”

This is an extended example of what can happen when you’re using an inadequate bilingual dictionary. It may steer you away from the Spanish word that you need. That’s why it’s so important to check and then double check the meaning of the words given for both languages to verify that you’re on the right track.

5. Pay attention to the fine print

A good bilingual dictionary will tell you if a word or phrase is a regionalism used in a particular part of the Spanish-speaking world. The classic example is the verb COGER, which means “to get” or “to catch” in Spain but means “to fuck” in Mexico and other parts of Latin America. Big difference.

Obviously, if your native language isn’t English and you would use a bilingual dictionary paired with your own native language (Spanish-German, Spanish-French, Spanish-Japanese, etc.) these same general steps still apply.

In a future blog post, I will tell you how to use a dictionary to find the meanings of Spanish idioms. I’ll probably post that entry in the next couple of days.

Which Spanish-English dictionaries would you recommend? Leave your suggestions in the comments below or tell me about them via Twitter @SpanishWordz.

I’m usually a stickler about promoting grammatically correct Spanish. But I liked Kharisma’s voice so I went ahead and put this song in the podcast even though I knew that parts of it were grammatically incorrect. I don’t know why the Spanish lyrics are the way they are. I guess it is the artist’s prerogative.

In any case, here are the lyrics. The errors are crossed out, like this, while the correct Spanish is in blue italics.

La mujer

Yo nací de la tierra sin madre o padre [sin madre ni padre]

Caminando el mundo buscando a ti [buscándote]

Tu caí [Te caiste] del cielo un ángel sin pena

Tus ojos cerrados, parando enfrente de mí. [Parándote enfrente de mí con los ojos cerrados]

Tus manos abiertos, llorando enfrente de mi. [Llorando enfrente de mí con las manos abiertas]

Yo nací de la tierra sin madre o padre. [sin madre ni padre]

Tú caí [Te caiste] del cielo buscando a mi.

Yo siempre sabi que tú me quería [Yo siempre sabía que me querías]

Pero ya es muy claro

Que no soy la mujer para ti.

Porque soy del [de la] tierra y el cielo no es para mí.

Yo estaba buscando todo [toda] mi vida

Un alma pérdida que siempre sentí

Yo siempre sabí que tú me quiera [sabía que me querías]

Pero ya es muy claro

Que no soy la mujer para ti.

Porque soy del [de la] tierra y el cielo no es para mí

Entonces voy a volver a la tierra donde yo nací.

Tell us a little about Lenguajero. What prompted you to create the site?

Lenguajero is a website that connects Spanish and English speakers for online language practice and cultural exchange. Natalie Gordon, (my fiancée and business partner) and I provide our members with three effective learning tools: Online Conversation Exchanges using a voice, video and text chat app., a Writing Club to practice writing in the language they are learning (native speakers leave feedback on submissions), and a Smart Flashcard program to help them memorize and retain new vocabulary.

While Natalie and I were living in Medellin, Colombia our Spanish really started to take off, and we started feeling comfortable speaking the language. It was around this point in time that Natalie pointed that, despite the thousands of language learning websites out there, few of them were focusing specifically on connecting Spanish and English learners with one another for conversation exchanges.

Given how much spending time everyday interacting with native speakers had helped in our own learning process, we thought that there was real potential for this type of site. We had our laptops with us, and just decided to start building something.

Currently there are several different social networking language learning sites such as Busuu, Live Mocha and iTalki. How is Lenguajero different from those other sites?

As I mentioned above, it was the observation that none of these learning communities were focusing on just Spanish and English learners prompted us to start working on Lenguajero. We had both tried Busuu and Live Mocha before we left the U.S., but we always felt like the wide open “any language you want” approach made the community more of a social site than a learning tool.

Our focus on just Spanish and English means that every user has something in common with every other user.  This makes it easy for users to connect with one another and help each other out.

How and where did you learn Spanish?

I’m originally from Washington state in the U.S. and Natalie is from Canada. Neither one of us are native Spanish speakers.  In fact, it wasn’t until about two years ago that I really developed an interest in learning Spanish.  I was traveling through Central America, and not being able to have normal conversations with people I would meet was pretty frustrating.  It gave me the motivation I needed to buckle down and start learning.

I took a few Spanish lessons in Central America, and studied on my own when I got back to the U.S.  Then, Natalie and I decided to move to Latin America and immerse ourselves in the language.

We took classes for six months while living in Cuba and Colombia.  We also spent a lot of time reading, watching movies, studying flashcards, spending time chatting with friends and acquaintances, and in general just living day-to-day life in a Spanish-speaking country.

What were some of the difficulties you faced when learning Spanish?

Getting past the initial “This is really hard, and I’ll never understand the Subjunctive” phase.  I remember that for the first couple of months, no matter how much progress I was making, I always felt like I would never be able to speak clearly. Once I just relaxed, and accepted that it was going to take time, I started feeling a lot more comfortable and started to notice big improvements.

What’s the size of your language learning community and when is it most active?

Lenguajero has roughly 5000 members, and it is a pretty even mix between English and Spanish speakers. The site is most active during the week, especially on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I always wonder why mid-week is more popular than the weekends. Anyone have any ideas?

What is the profile of your native Spanish-speaking members?

About 50-60% of our Spanish-speaking members are in their 20s, and are either university students or young professionals. There is a high number of engineers, software developers, doctors and lawyers because it is really important in these fields to learn English.

With that said, the other 40-50% is a complete mixed bag (this goes for both English and Spanish speakers).  Our community is really diverse.  Almost anyone who is learning Spanish or English can come on and find people with similar interests to talk to. We have a 79-year-old Venezuelan and a 78-year-old American who are very active in the community.

Any new features or tools under development that Lenguajero fans can look forward to seeing later this year?

Yes! We just launched Lenguajero – Classroom which helps teachers integrate Lenguajero into their course curriculum, by allowing them to monitor what their students are doing on the site.  The feature is in beta testing right now, and we currently have about 25 classes signed up to try it out.  We will be working closely with the teachers of these classes to improve and expand the tool over the next six months.

We also are planning on adding a few more community features to the site to make it easier for members to interact and share with one another.

We are always looking for ideas on how we can improve the site, and offer things that other sites do not.  If anyone has any suggestions we would love to hear them.  You can reach us through our contact us page.

Follow Lenguajero on Twitter @Lenguajero

see more Funny Graphs

This is a guest post by polyglot blogger Ramses Oudt. Although he speaks multiple languages, he has a passion for Spanish and writes about learning Spanish through immersion at Spanish Only.

If you didn’t listen to a lot of Spanish before starting to speak the language, it’s likely you have an accent. It might be a slight accent, but an accent nonetheless. Even if you’ve listened to hundreds of hours of native Spanish speakers on TV, in movies, in your neighborhood, etc. it’s possible to have an accent. Some people don’t mind, but many do.

Luckily not all is lost. I am a native Dutch speaker and Spanish is my third language. I used to have a terrible accent when speaking Spanish but it has improved tremendously in the last year or so to the point where now most native Spanish speakers don’t even notice it.

How did I polish my Spanish accent? I had to put in a lot of work to get a better accent. And no, it wasn’t something that just clicked, I really had to work hard to get better. But it was definitely worth it because now my Spanish is at a level where I can relax a bit.

Here are 5 steps I made to improve my accent. I believe they can help anyone who has the same goal of speaking more fluent Spanish.

Step 1: Find your weak spots
You can say, “Yeah, I have a foreign accent“, but if you don’t know which part of your speech is bogged down with your gringo accent, you’re going nowhere. So analyze your speech. Record yourself reading the letters of the Spanish alphabet out loud and then choose a short text, like three paragraphs or less, and read that out loud as well.

Once you have this recording of your voice, ask one or two native Spanish speakers, whose accent you like, for feedback. This step is very important. Don’t ask: “How do I sound?” because often they’ll just say you sound great. Ask them to critique specific sounds like the vowels, the letters t and r, etc.

Also, you may find that many native Spanish speakers won’t be able to fully articulate what exactly you’re doing wrong. They know that it doesn’t sound native but they can’t necessarily guide you on how to correct it.

If that’s the case, get a recording of them using the correct sounds plus reading a basic text and use that as your baseline of pronunciation. Then you should imitate, imitate and imitate some more, and keep asking for feedback to see if you’re getting closer.

Step 2: Open your mouth
A common problem for English (and Dutch) speakers is that we don’t open our mouths enough. It’s almost possible to insert something between your lips and not have it fall out and still speak English, that’s how closed we keep our mouths. So open wide in the beginning. When you pratice, pretend like you are speaking to a person who is hard of hearing so that you pronounce words in an exaggeratedly slow manner.

Step 3: Stick to the vowel sounds
The rolled R can be a pain in the butt, but mispronouncing vowels can also contribute to you not sounding Spanish. Spanish only has five vowel sounds, so stick to them. I know English has many more sounds, but Spanish doesn’t. Even diphthongs in Spanish are just combinations of those vowel sounds, so they don’t create new sounds. Focus on learning the five vowel sounds by heart (a, e, i, o, u, el burro sabe más que tú).

Step 4: Practise
Now you know where your pronunciation weak points are and more or less know how to sound, you can start practising. First listen to the correct sound repeatedly to get the precise idea on how to sound. Next copy the sound and produce it yourself. For some sounds (like the trilled r) you may need additional training and guidance, but don’t give up. Keep at it.

Step 5: Use the correct intonation
Intonation is essentially the melody of speech. It’s the way a language rises and falls when spoken and for many of us learning Spanish, it’s the reason why we’re so drawn to the Spanish language. Spanish intonation differs from region to region (just like in English), so it can be quite difficult adopting one that is right for you.

My advice is to pick up intonation little by little. Often this comes naturally if you listen to a lot of Spanish, but sometimes you need to concentrate on one aspect of a region’s intonation. Find a Spanish-speaking region’s accent that you like and have that be your guide.

Enjoyed this post? Follow Ramses on Twitter @spanishonly or visit his blog Spanish Only.

Photo: Gringo by Pragmagrapher

Cierto día, un compañero de colegio señaló en la calle a una mujer, diciéndome:

-Mírala, está muerta.

A mí me parecía imposible que una difunta se moviera con aquella naturalidad entre la gente. De hecho, sabía que era mentira, pero resultaba excitante creérselo, así que le seguí el juego. Mi amigo me aseguró que era capaz de distinguir a una mujer muerta entre mil mujeres vivas.

-¿Pero en qué lo notas?

-En nada en concreto y en todo a la vez. Si te fijas, van envueltas como en una burbuja de paredes invisibles. Cuando seas capaz de percibir esa burbuja, aprenderás a distinguirlas.

A los pocos días de esta conversación, iba dando patadas a las piedras por mi calle, cuando vi a una mujer dentro de la burbuja. La burbuja la puse yo seguramente, pero la mujer era completamente real. La seguí con disimulo hasta la Avenida de América, y luego por Francisco Silvela, hasta llegar a una ferretería en la que entró para salir al poco del brazo de un sujeto muy alto, con bigote a lo Clark Gable. El hombre estaba vivo, desde luego, y no trataba a la mujer como a un cadáver. Al contrario, se acercaba a su cuerpo cuanto le era posible, desplazando la pared de la burbuja hacia el otro lado, y le besaba el cuello a través de esa membrana que parecía no detectar. Entraron en un bar que hacía esquina con la calle de Méjico y se comieron un bocadillo de calamares cada uno. Cuando ella alargaba el brazo para tomar de la barra el vaso de cerveza, sacaba la mano de la burbuja sin romperla, del mismo modo que algunos objetos son capaces de penetrar en una pompa de jabón.

Comencé a centrar mi atención en él. Parecía el prototipo de individuo mundano que por entonces yo mismo aspiraba a ser. Una persona con clase, pensaba ingenuamente, debe moverse con la misma naturalidad entre los muertos y los vivos. Aquel hombre actuaba con una soltura increíble y sabía en qué momento tenía que abrocharse o desabrocharse el botón de la chaqueta o pasarse el dedo índice por el extremo del bigote, como para recoger, más que una miga de pan, un pensamiento. Al salir del bar, él la tomó de la cintura y la atrajo hacia sí con tal violencia que la sacó sin darse cuenta de la burbuja. Entonces abandoné la persecución con la idea romántica de que el amor consiste en rescatar al otro de la muerte, y decidí esperar mi oportunidad.

A los pocos meses llegó al barrio una chica nueva, con burbuja. Era muy joven para estar muerta, pero lo consulté con mi amigo y me dijo que las había de todas las edades.

-Una prima mía de tres semanas está muerta también.

-¿Y qué dicen sus padres?

-No lo saben. La mayoría de la gente no ve la burbuja.

Me enamoré como un loco, y, cuando logré reunir el dinero suficiente, la invité a un bocadillo de calamares en el bar de Francisco Silvela esquina a Méjico. Luego intenté acercarme para rescatarla de la burbuja, pero no se dejó. Y al día siguiente, cuando pasé cerca de un grupo en el que se encontraba ella, noté que me señalaba con expresión de burla. Estaba presumiendo de haberme sacado un bocadillo de calamares, que para nosotros era una fortuna. Entonces, pese a mi timidez, me acerqué al grupo y, apuntándole al pecho con el dedo, le dije:

-Estás muerta. No vayas a creerte que no lo sé.

Todas sus amigas se alejaron un poco, como con miedo a contagiarse, y desde entonces arrastró una vida solitaria, que yo tampoco intenté aliviar, aunque me lo pedía con los ojos. Se casó con un muerto de hambre con el que asiste a misa de difuntos todas las semanas. Continúa en el barrio, y, cuando me acerco por allí, a ver a mis padres, se hace la encontradiza para que la libere de la burbuja en la que sigue atrapada. Pero ahora, aunque quisiera, no podría, porque yo mismo he ido encerrándome durante todos estos años dentro de una membrana transparente y flexible de la que sólo podría rescatarme una mujer viva.

Lyrics for closing music: “La mujer” by Kharisma Montes de Oca

“Ese chico está high.”

“Hay muchos suplidores en San Juan.”

If the Academia Puertorriqueña de la Lengua Española gets its way, mangled Spanglish phrases like the ones listed above will eventually become a thing of the past in Puerto Rico. The Academia has published the first edition of the “Diccionaro del Anglicismos Actuales,” which it hopes will cut down on the amount of anglicismos (English words or phrases) that currently circulate in Puerto Rican Spanish.

This new 800-page dictionary containing approximately 3,500 anglicismos wants to show Puerto Ricans that there are perfectly viable Spanish words and phrases that exist that they should be using instead of the English ones.  The Academia hopes to get school teachers in Puerto Rico to take the lead on policing the island’s Spanish since they are in the best position to catch and correct these types of linguistic mistakes.

Will this mean the end of Spanglish expressions like “Te llamo para atrás”?  ¡Ni hablar! Puerto Rico is a commonwealth of the United States and although the majority of Puerto Ricans living on the island do not speak English fluently, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the pull and influence of English is just too strong at this point for the tide to be pushed back. The only way for the English presence in Puerto Rican Spanish to get stamped out at this point would be if it became cool among young Puerto Ricans to use the Spanish equivalents.

————————————————————————————————

“Te llamo para atrás.” Should be: “Te devuelvo la llamada.”

“Ese chico está high.” The correct/formal way: “Ese chico está drogado.” Slang (at least in Spain): “El chico está colocado.”

“Hay muchos suplidores….” “Suplidor” is pure Spanglish [supplier + proveedor = suplidor]. The correct word in Spanish is proveedor.

1). Spain – On the Road Again

This video culinary road trip with chef Mario Batali and actress Gwyneth Paltrow is really quite good. If you’ve never been to Spain, this TV series will give you a great introduction to the foodie culture of Spain. The 13-episodes of this TV show are available on a DVD and there’s also an accompanying book. (Book + DVD combo: $49.95)

2). La Tienda

Speaking of food….the online catalog of La Tienda has plenty of mouthwatering treats. Try the morcilla with onions ($13.95) or the Tetilla queso, a soft cheese made from cow’s milk, from Galicia ($22.50).

La Tienda also has a web site for Europe and the U.K. but the selection of items is different from the U.S. site.

3). 90 Clásicos de la literatura para gente con prisas

This would be a gag gift since it’s a comic book that boils down 90 classic works of literature to the bare essentials. Epics such as Don Quijote, Lord of the Rings and Ulysses all get the same treatment: a “synopsis” presented in a panel of four illustrated squares.

If you don’t find this kind of Cliff Notes approach amusing, then stay away. But if you like the idea of refreshing your memory about some of the greatest literary works and doing that in an unconventional way, ¡adelante!

4). El Baile del Sombrero

If you have little kids or you want to encourage a young niece, nephew or grandchild to learn Spanish, here’s an ideal gift – a CD of kid’s songs in Spanish. The songs revolve around basic everyday activities (taking a bath, going to school, a trip to the zoo, etc.).  It’s a nice way to expose very young children to the sound of the Spanish language.

5. Spanish lessons via Skype

Maybe this will be a gift that you’ll want to give yourself in the new year – online Spanish lessons. There are many Spanish-language instructors currently giving classes online via Skype and their hourly teaching rates are generally quite affordable. Just do a Google search. I’ve seen some instructors charging as little as $10 per hour.  Some won’t charge you for the first class as a way of enticing you to sign up for multiple sessions.

Whether you decide to give something like this as a gift (or just keep it for yourself), make sure you get references from past or current students. Also, if you have to pay for a block of classes, don’t pay for more than three lessons initially. That should be more than enough time to figure out whether the teaching arrangement will work or not.

6. Spanish podcasts & transcripts

Download a series of episodes of your favorite Spanish podcasts, burn them onto a CD and then print out or purchase the accompanying episode transcripts. These days there are so many instructional Spanish-language podcasts to choose from, you could put together an eclectic mix of voices and topics.

It’s an idea that didn’t occur to me until recently, when a reader of my other blog, Cody’s Cuentos, purchased the entire collection of story transcripts. He told me that he was putting together a unique Spanish-learning gift pack for his wife. What a great husband!

7. Book a vacation in Spain

If a trip to Spain in 2010 is in the cards, check out this travel and leisure web site called Smart Box. It has affordable listings for several lovely rustic Spanish casa rurales (country inns and Bed & Breakfasts) like Mas Torrent in Cataluña and Casa Manadero in Extremadura. One-night stays start at 79.90 euros for two people. (On the Smart Box site check under the categories “Estancia Pintoresca” and “Estancia Sabor Rural”.)

OK, this one might be a little hard to completely arrange on such short notice with Christmas only a week away, but it’s always nice to dream, isn’t it?

Photo of Benia de Onis, a village with 230 inhabitants, located in Asturias, Spain.

The Real Academia Española has finally published the definitive manual of Spanish grammar – “Nueva gramática de la lengua española: El español de todo el mundo”

This volume examines, for the first time under one roof, so to speak, the similarites and differences that exist between the varieties of the Spanish language as it is spoken in Spain and Latin America. The series of books, more than a decade in the making, are a massive collaboration between the 22 Academias de la Lengua Española. As a result special attention will be paid, for the first time by the RAE, to specific terms and usages of the Spanish language in the Americas.

If you’re a die-hard lover of Spanish and linguistics, you may be tempted to buy these books now. I’d caution you to wait and see because there are other versions of the books coming out next year.

The initial two-volume set is HUGE (almost 4,000 pages) and the price tag is 120 euros.  A third volume will be released in the coming months. After browsing through the first two volumes it was clear to me that this initial set of books is a scholarly work suited to language/linguistics professors and other academics. It’s not geared to people learning Spanish.

The good news is that the RAE is releasing its nueva gramática in three distinct versions.

The first, the only one currently available, is the complete, unabridged version. The target market for this would be university libraries or Spanish professors and doctoral language students.

Called simply Manual, Version 2.0 of la nueva gramática will be a 750-page tome. It will contain more concise descriptions and succinct explanations than Version 1.0, according to the RAE. It will be published in March 2010.

Target market:  Spanish professors and students of Spanish at the university level.

Version 3.0 is entitled “Gramática básica.” This book won’t be released until a year from now, at the end of 2010. It will be a 250-page paperback designed for the general public.

Target market: Spanish teachers at the primary and secondary school level, as well as non-university-level students of Spanish.

If you’d like to get a taste of what Version 1.0, (the unabridged version pictured below), is like, click here for a PDF that contains a sample of the text, as well as other details about the book series.

Fortunately, there are a few idiomatic Spanish phrases and expressions that are very close to their English equivalents.  Below is a random list I put together for my ReVerb Spanish Twitter feed. These are phrases that if you didn’t know the Spanish idiomatic expression and happened to translate the English phrase exactly to Spanish, you wouldn’t be too far off the mark.  (You can get more details about the origin of some of these phrases as well as and some example sentences here.)

Al pie de la letra: to the letter (to do something exactly as it is said or written)

Apretarse el cinturón: to tighten one’s belt (to cut costs, to reduce one’s expenses)

Armarse hasta los dientes: Armed to the teeth (fully prepared for anything)

Con las manos en la masa: With the hands in the dough (American English: Hands in the cookie jar, i.e. to get caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing.)

Cuando el gato no está, los ratones bailan: When the cat’s away, the mice will play

Estar en el séptimo cielo: to be in 7th heaven (to be extremely happy)

Matar dos pájaros de un tiro: to kill 2 birds with 1 stone

Más vale pájaro en mano que ciento volando: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Meterse (a alguien) en el bosillo: to have someone in your back pocket, to have someone wrapped around your little finger. (To have someone under your control or influence.)

Ser la gallina de los huevos de oro: to be the goose that laid the golden eggs (to be a source of infinite wealth)

Ser la oveja negra: to be the black sheep

Ser el brazo derecho: to be someone’s right hand (to be an essential assistant to someone)

Tener corazón: to have a heart (to be kind)

Tener estómago: to have a stomach (to be strong)

Tener sangre azul: to have blue blood (to be descended from royalty)

Tirar la toalla: to throw in the towel (to give up)

Tomar algo con un grano de sal: to take something with a grain of salt (to be skeptical)

Want more details and example sentences using these phrases in Spanish? Get a more in-depth explanation for all of the above phrases by reading what I posted on Twitter on Dec. 6 and Dec. 7 over here.

This is a guest post written by Alan Malarkey

Unless you are particularly driven and or talented, progressing to the next level and sustaining  interest in learning a foreign language can be a struggle. Finding an ‘intercambio’ or a language exchange partner, is a relatively well-worn path that offers valuable practise.

The basic premise is to find a native Spanish speaker who is willing to converse with you in Spanish in exchange for helping him or her with their English (or whatever your native language is.) Once you find a willing conversation partner, you can agree to meet regularly for a set time.

It only costs the price of a cup of coffee and, depending on the compatibility of the partners, it can work very well. For some it is a route to lasting friendship and in some cases marriage, but even if you’re not in the market for a spouse, doing an intercambio can be a very worthwhile experience.

I’ve done all types of intercambios – from meeting in a café to meeting online and conversing via Skype. Whether you meet in person or online, connections can go astray and patience is often required. Frequently, a one-to-one intercambio can fizzle out because of scheduling conflicts or simply because of the lack of common interests. For that reason, I am a big believer in a group intercambio arrangement.

In Croydon, U.K., we have been running Croydon-Spanish over the last two years. English and Spanish speakers meet for two to three hours in a pub on a Monday evening and we chat informally in the the two languages. It is not very structured and members of the group are simply encouraged to be mindful of each other’s needs and interests and to be patient and positive.

Usually we have a well-balanced group in terms of age, gender and, of course, Spanish and English speakers. Our native Spanish speaking participants are roughly divided between Latin Americans and Spaniards. Often they are young people trying to improve their English as part of a university degree or they are in the U.K. to enhance their CV. Levels of language mastery vary, from the relative beginner to bilingual.

Although this form of learning and practice is probably not suitable for the complete novice and is not a replacement for formal study, the group intercambio provides speaking practice in a social setting. There is quite a high turnover of attendees and the ratio of enrolled members to those attending is quite low, but this is not a bad thing. Apart from myself and a few other loyal and regular members, the group regularly replenishes itself with new participants. Most of all it is just a fun and enjoyable evening.

Here is some advice If you would like to start a group intercambio in your area:

Advertise, advertise, advertise

The key to finding members is advertising but don’t worry, you can do it for free. In London, we use Gumtree.com but in the U.S. you have Craigslist. Don’t forget to put up fliers in local places such as the public library, bookstores and, of course, local community colleges and universities.

Obviously, one of the most effective ways to advertise is thorugh word-of-mouth. Thanks to today’s social networking tools like Facebook and Twitter, it has become easier than before to find and connect with other people who share similar interests.

One way in which I am promoting the group is through a web site [ http://croydon-spanish.ning.com/ ] where members of the group can post photos, videos and also provide links to online Spanish and English learning resources.

Reach out to native Spanish speakers

If you are enrolled in a Spanish class, ask your Spanish teacher to participate in the conversation group and to help you spread the word. If there is a sizable Spanish-speaking population in your community, find out which local publications they read, what groups they participate in and where they hang out. Post your fliers there. (For example, a community group that helps Hispanic immigrants or a church or restaurant.)

Keep it simple

Choose a specific day and time and stick to it. It will be easier to attract people on an ongoing basis if they know that the group meets on the dame day at the same time each month. You will have a harder time building a following if the day and time changes from week to week or from month to month.

Also, with regards to the actual conversations, don’t put any pressure on yourself to come up with topics unless, of course, the group wants that. With my group, discussions take us in different directions. Sometimes we engage in comparing cultural and linguistic differences or surgically dissecting grammar constructions. Other times, we simply chat about life, tell jokes, swap expressions and reveal our hopes and dreams. We rarely feel the need to construct artificial conversation.

If you’d like to get more information or advice about starting your own group intecambio, connect with me via Twitter or drop by my web site and send me a message. Sustain your interest through human contact – what could be better?

Connect with Alan Malarkey on Twitter (twitter.com/croydonspanish) or at http://croydon-spanish.ning.com/

Other articles about this topic:

How to get the most out of group intercambios

Intercambio Etiquette

5 Questions to Ask Your Intercambio

4 Ways to Correct Your Intercambio

Dealing with a conversational hijacker

Photo: “Friends in a coffee house” used under license from iStockPhoto.com

de Juan José Millás ( “Cuerpo y prótesis”)

Un chico y una chica muy jóvenes, de instituto, discutían acaloradamente en el metro. Me acerqué disimuladamente a ellos en el momento en el que la chica decía:

-¿Y por qué las mujeres tenemos que tomar somníferos en lugar de somníferas? Lo lógico es que hubiera somníferos para hombres y somníferas para mujeres.

-Eso es lo mismo que decir que los hombres deberíamos tomar aspirinos en lugar de aspirinas. Pues mira, yo me he pasado la vida tomando aspirinas y soy tan hombre como el que más.

-Ya está. Si no te sale el macho no te quedas contento. Naturalmente que los hombres deberíais tomar aspirinos. Yo, si algún día tengo hijos, les daré aspirinos, del mismo modo que a las hijas les administraré antibióticas cuando les haga falta.

-Y los chicos se sentarán en sillos en vez de en sillas, me imagino.

-Pues sí, se sentarán en sillos y dormirán en camos y comerán el sopo, no la sopa, con cucharos. Las cucharas son para las mujeres.

-Tú estás loca. Vete al psiquiatra.

-Y tú al psiquiatro.

El tren se detuvo, se bajaron y yo continué perplejo cinco estaciones más pensando que la chica llevaba razón. ¿Cómo era posible que una lengua tan sexuada como la nuestra cometiera unos fallos, o quizá unas fallas, de ese calibre? Todo el mundo, muy pendiente de que los niños no jueguan con muñecas ni las niñas con tanques, y sin embargo se obliga a las mujeres a viajar en el metro (en lugar de en la metra) y a los hombres a subir al tranvía (en lugar de al tranvío).

Angustiado por esta imperfección que acababa de descubrir en mi lengua materna (perdón, en mi lenguo materno), miré alrededor y vi a una chica leyendo un libro, lo que me pareció una perversión (debería leer una libra) y a un hombre rascándose la rodilla, cuando lo suyo es que se rascara el rodillo y así sucesivamente.

Llegué a casa (a caso en realidad) y le dije a mi mujer que todo estaba patas arriba. Cuando le expliqué por qué me miró de un modo raro y me pidió que hiciera unas tortillas para la cena.

-Unos tortillos, si no te importa  -le respondí-, puesto que me voy a ocupar yo del asunto. Si quieres tortillas, las tendrás que hacer tú misma.

Por la noche, la oí hablar con su madre por teléfono (por teléfona, para decirlo con propiedad), y tuve la impresión de que me criticaba. Al día siguiente, se fue de casa, dejándome una nota en la que me pedía que no intentara localizarla. Le daba miedo (<<o mieda, por emplear tu lenguaje>>) vivir conmigo. La echo de menos, pero no podría estar con alguien que se expresara tan mal como ella. Así es la vida, o el vido, qué le vamos a hacer.

—————————————————

Glossary:

“instituto” means “high school” in this context.

Somnífero means sleeping pill.

Si no te sale el macho no te quedas contento (Essentially, “You’re not happy if you can’t be the tough, manly guy.) The verb “quedarse” is being used here with the same meaning as the verb “estar.”

llevar razón = tener razón = to be right

This week’s podcast is a very amusing take about this particular aspect of the Spanish language. Written by Juan José Millás, the story is part of “Cuerpo y prótesis,” a wonderful collection of essays and short stories about the superficiality and banality of modern life.  The witty, humorous tone of many of Millás’ essays reminds me a lot of the writing style of American writer David Sedaris.  Millás has a writing style that is  sophisticated yet totally accessible.

Unfortunately, this particular book of Millás is not sold outside of Spain. I looked for it on Amazon with no luck. In any case, here’s a link to it to purchase it from Spain.

I recently stumbled across an interesting piece about “language barrier love” by dating coach Jag Carrao. In the article Carrao outlines the pros and cons of being in a relationship where the two people don’t speak the same language. On the face of it, it would seem like a recipe for disaster but Carrao says there are many advantages to having this type of communication gap.

Among them are:

• No man-terrifying “relationship talks.”
• Fewer heated debates (about politics and religion)
• Less ambiguity about date logistics (aware of the language barrier, he nails down date/time/place to avoid any misunderstanding).
• Exotic charm of endearments uttered in a foreign tongue.
• And most importantly: less conversation, more kissing.

Read the complete article here.

I agree with Carrao’s opinion that when there is physical chemistry or a spark of mutual interest/curiosity the language barrier can kind of cut through the crap that often exists in dating someone who speaks your native language. But I think a language barrier also causes many people to revert to the conventional male/female roles, with the man taking the lead and doing the pursuing of the female, as opposed to the other way around.

Having a language barrier may initially be a fun adventure, but it can mask some serious issues that may come back to haunt the couple down the line. In the initial stages of dating, people are generally on their best behavior. Throw in a language barrier and little things you would’ve easily noticed early on in another relationship with a person who speaks your language, may wind up going unnoticed or swept under the rug. For example, views about women, family, money, etc. Of course a lot of these bigger misunderstandings stem from sociocultural differences, not just the differences in language, but the language barrier may initially cover up these issues.

Have you ever been in relationship where there was a language barrier? How did it turn out? If the relationship lasted, did you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife eventually learn the other person’s language and then eventually communicate primarily in one language? Or do you communicate in a hybrid language combining your two native languages?

This expression, (along with “¿comprende?”)  is one that is used frequently and perhaps compulsively by students of Spanish everywhere. In English, the question “Do you understand?” is commonly used to confirm that that the other person is listening and has, indeed, understood what you have said. Normally no pasa nada when someone asks this question in English, unless the tone of the speaker’s voice is aggressive, brusque or condescending.

But in Spanish using this muletilla (verbal crutch), regardless of tone of voice, rankles many native Spanish speakers because of what they think it implies.

“Es como llamarte bruta en tu cara”, (“It’s like calling you ignorant to your face”) says BBC Mundo reader Sonia Janet from  Venezuela.

I used to say “¿me entiendes?” in the same manner I used the expression in English until finally one of my Spanish friends corrected me and told me that it was very annoying. At first I was shocked because no one had ever mentioned it to me before. But then I was grateful that he had mentioned it.

I asked him what a better alternative was and he told me ¿me explico?, (which literally means “Am I explaining myself?”), sounded more polite.  Essentially, it makes the same query as ¿me entiendes? in terms of requesting confirmation of comprehension, but it shifts the responsibility away from the listener and places it squarely on your shoulders to explain yourself better.

However, there is no pleasing everyone.

Another BBC Mundo reader from Tijuana, Mexico writes that ¿me explico? irritates her too. “¡Caray! Es que no soy tonta, ni sorda, ni hablo un dialecto marciano”.

OK, OK, tranquila, chiquilla. 

You can read the BBC Mundo story and reader comments here. It is a fun bit of insight into the way native Spanish speakers view some very common phrases in their language.

Photo from iStockPhoto.com

A good example of this is the expression “It’s Greek to me,” a very common English expression to say that something is confusing or unintelligible. William Shakespeare is credited with popularizing the phrase when he put it in the mouth of a character in his famous play about Julius Caesar. (“…but those that understood him smiled at one another and shook their heads; but, for my own part, it was Greek to me.“)

When I first started to learn Spanish I assumed that Spanish speakers would use the same expression because the Greek language has nothing in common with Spanish. Well, I was wrong. In Spanish, the equivalent expression is está en chino (“It’s in Chinese”) or me suena a chino (“It sounds like Chinese to me.”)

It’s not surprising that similar expressions exist in other languages. However, it turns out that the language some other languages use as an example of something strange, odd or unintelligible is….SPANISH!! Can you believe it?!

Blogger Erik Rasmussen turned me on to this subject by forwarding to me a link to the chart below. It shows, in graphic form, what linguists call “the directed graph of stereotypical incomprehensibility” and it’s like a modern-day Tower of Babel.

There are different theories on why Spanish got labeled this way. Some speculate that it is rooted in Spain’s history of conquering different lands. Perhaps native peoples coming into contact with the Spanish viewed los españoles as very odd and incomprehensible and the stereotype stuck. For example, centuries ago King Carlos V of Spain was also emperor of Germany and Austria and his royal court ceremonies were viewed by the locals as strange and unfamiliar.

Fast forward five centuries and there still remains this legacy in some European languages of considering Spanish to be synonymous with something that is confusing, unintelligible or downright fishy.

Here are some examples:
CZECH: To je pro mne španelska vesnice (Literally: “It’s a Spanish village to me.” But the meaning is that something is incomprehensible or confusing.)

GERMAN: Das kommt mir Spanisch vor (“That looks like Spanish to me.”)

ICELANDIC: Þetta kemur mér spánskt fyrir sjónir (“This looks Spanish to me.”)

SLOVENIAN: To mi je španska vas (“To me, it is a Spanish village.”)

SLOVAK: Matematika je pre mňa španielska dedina (Literally, “For me, math is a Spanish village.” In other words, I’m very bad at math, I don’t understand math.)

But it turns out that the language that is most frequently cited as a synonym of something impossible to understand isn’t Spanish, but Chinese.

And what do the Chinese say? According to Arnold Rosenberg, who wrote a paper on the topic 30 years ago, “having seen so many turn to Chinese as the symbol of unintelligibility, one must wonder where the Chinese turn. To Heaven! The Chinese analog of our long-studied expression is (roughly translated) – “It’s heavenly script to me.”

Special thanks to Maria Shipley for helping me with this post.

We are currently in the middle of Hispanic Heritage Month, which runs from September 15 to October 15  in the U.S. The dates were selected to include the Independence Day celebrations of Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Mexico, and Chile, as well as to incorporate Día de la Raza—a holiday celebrated in Mexico on October 12 observing the colonization, exploration, and multicultural heritage of the Americas.

In honor of the occasion, this week’s podcast is a compilation of audio excerpts from two American storytellers, Olga Loya and Antonio Sacre, about the ups-and-downs they faced in developing a strong bi-cultural identity in the U.S.  Their stories are part of the  RaceBridges for Schools project, an interesting program designed to help high school and middle school teachers lead class discussions on issues related to race, ethnicity and cultural identity. The collection of materials offered on their site is high quality and you can’t beat the price – free!

Included in this podcast are “Spanish is dangerous” and “But You Don’t Look Mexican!” by Olga Loya and “Dreaming of Cuba: Stories That Bind” by Antonio Sacre. Olga is Mexican American and Antonio is Cuban American but they share the common experience of trying to develop a bicultural identity in an environment that hasn’t always been open to the idea.

Visit the Race Bridges for Schools web site for transcripts, audio files and teachers’ lessons plans.

Bablingua

BrainPop Español

La Casa Rojas magazine

Learning and Teaching Scotland

Pancho & Pita

Spanglish Lex List

Click on “MORE” to get a more detailed description about each site.

BABLINGUA

Spanish Level: Elementary, Intermediate, Advanced

Appropriate for: Middle-school and high school Spanish teachers

Bablingua is a Spanish-language instructional video company with three categories of products: Videos, Icebreakers (very short videos that range in length anywhere from 1 minute to 8 minutes in length), and Vocabulary Cards. Included in the purchased video packages are activities teachers can use with students to build background knowledge before the class watches the videos. There are also Spanish subtitles available. Here is an entertaining video Bablingua did recently about the body language of Spaniards.

Find more videos like this on Classroom 2.0

What stands out: You can select videos based on both topics and grammar points presented.  The overall presentation is excellent, the videos are short, to the point and well produced.

Price: Varies, from as little as $3 for an “icebreaker” video activity up to $45 for a DVD + book package

BrainPOP Español

Spanish level: Intermediate, Advanced

Appropriate for:  Children who are native Spanish speakers in third grade and higher or highly motivated pre-teens learning Spanish

BrainPOP Español is the Spanish version of an educational English web site that teaches children about math, science, art and history through the animated adventures of Moby the robot and Tim, his human friend. It’s clear that the Spanish site is designed for native Spanish speakers so the rate of speech is fast and the vocabulary is not targeted at children just learning the language. That said,  the animation and overall production of the content is impressive. BrainPOP Español offers fascinating material for young students in a format that is entertaining and unique.

Price: Varies, depending on your country and whether the purchase is for individual use or for a school.

La Casa Rojas

Spanish level: Advanced

Appropriate for: High school, university, continuing education

La Casa Rojas is a bi-monthly online magazine that takes you to all corners of the Spanish-speaking world. There is an astonishing variety of articles and topics from daily life to food to history and politics. Recent topics have included a Spanish teacher’s perspective on teaching, an essay about the Colombian Tarzan and a first-person account of walking El Camino de Santiago. Each article is written by a person, usually a native Spanish speaker, living in that country.

What stands out: The majority of the articles are read by their authors giving you a variety of speakers and accents from across Latin America and Spain.

Price: $14.99 quarterly for individuals. Different pricing for schools. Consult web site for details.

Learning and Teaching Scotland

Spanish level: Upper intermediate, Advanced

Appropriate for: High school, university, continuing education

This web site has an excellent collection of videos of young Latino immigrants talking about their life in America. Each one is very short (four minutes or less) and includes English subtitles.

Price: Free

What stands out: The authenticity of the speakers. The young people featured in the videos are very personable and the videos are just the right length to introduce a topic for a classroom discussion.  Click on the box below for video of Ricardo Avalos from Hayword, California talking about what it’s like to be gay, Latino and an immigrant in the U.S. (May take several seconds for the video to load. Video is roughly 3 minutes.)

Pancho & Pita

Spanish level: Beginner

Appropriate for: Very young children

Pancho & Pita are two adorable little trolls who enjoy reading, playing and exploring the world around them with their bilingual pet named Flan. The trio take children on a series of  interactive computer adventures where they learn how to count, recognize colors and shapes and pick up other basic developmental skills in a fun and entertaining framework. The entire interactive game is available in both Spanish and English, so parents who aren’t bilingual can still feel comfortable using the material with their children. There is only one adventure currently available, “¿Dónde están los pollitos?”, but more Pancho & Pita adventures are in the works.

What stands out: The voices are so adorable, the animation is very colorful and the pacing of the game is such that children can go at their own pace. Also, there is plenty of repetition of key words and phrases in both Spanish and English.

Price: $9.95

The Spanglish Lex List

Spanish level: Upper intermediate, Advanced

Appropriate for: University-level students, continuing education

The Spanglish Lex List is the brainchild of Matthew Bennett, a Spanish-English translator in Spain. It consists of a free weekly three-page worksheet that Matthew promises can help you improve your professional Spanish.

What stands out: Matthew takes complex and controversial topics in the news and boils them down to the essentials. The worksheets reduce a teacher’s prep time for a class discussion and students get exposed to an extremely high level of business Spanish.

Here’s how he describes it:

Here are random examples of some exact quotes, (typos included), that I found in online Spanish forums:

“…es mi 3 dia y ya tube una experiencia fea con un irlandes borracho…” [The word "tube" is not Spanish. The speaker meant "tuve," which is "I had."]

“Tubo problemas con este pais por asuntos de la pesca….” [TUBO means "tube" in Spanish. The speaker meant "tuvo," the third-person singular past tense of the verb TENER.)

"Hola, luego de bajar el video de youtube con safari quiero gravarlo en un dvd para ver en cualquier reproductor de dvd, como hago?" [GRAVAR means "to tax." The correct verb is GRABAR, which means to record.).

In English, there are plenty of homophones. If you're a native English speaker, you probably don't even think twice about them when you use and write them. (knew/new, meat/meet, one/won, stair/stare, etc.)

But what about Spanish homophones? How many do you know?

Here's a list of Spanish homophones containing the letters B or V. It's not complete but it gives you an idea of the variety that exists. Remember that the pronunciation of these words are the same but their spellings and meanings are different.

• acerbo: scathing, as in a scathing review (una crítica acerba)
• acervo: heritage, as in cultural heritage (el acervo cultural)
• baca: luggage rack
• vaca: cow
• bacía: a type of container
• vacía: empty
• balido: the bleat of a sheep (baaaa)
• valido: valid
• barón: baron (as in a title of nobility)
• varón: male
• bello: beautiful
• vello: soft, short hair or down (from an animal) or fuzz (on a plant or fruit.)
• beta: Beta. Second letter of the Greek alphabet. In English you see it used in Greek fraternity names ["Kappa Beta Psi, Phi Beta Kappa] or in English words and phrases like “Beta-blockers” or the “beta version” of a software.
• veta: streak or vein that one sees in cuts of wood or meat. (La veta del jamón, la veta de la madera.)
• bienes: possessions, properties
• vienes: form of the verb VENIR
• botar: to bounce, to throw out, to launch
• votar: to vote
• grabar: to record, to engrave
• gravar: to tax
• rebelar(se): to rebel, to revolt
• revelar: to reveal, to develop
• sabia: Feminine form of adjective “sabio” which means wise, learned, sensible
• savia: sap from a tree or a plant

And just for kicks, here’s an online quiz called “Super Saber” where you can test your knowledge of palabras homófonas in a fun way.

Spanish Sentence Database: Ramses Oudt from Spanish-Only has launched a beta site of a Spanish-English sentence database. An excellent way to build one’s vocabulary when learning a new language is to read. And reading new words in sentences, in context, is a great way to cement that knowledge in your memory. Says Ramses:

“Back in 2007, when I started to get serious about learning Spanish there was one major problem to really progress; a sentence database. That’s why I’ve come up with the idea of compiling a big Spanish-English database with only the things you need: bilingual sentences.

Sure, you can get Spanish-English sentences from any place, but not in one place which grows day after day.”

His database, which is still in beta mode, currently has a little over 1,500 sentences but Ramses ultimately expects to grow that number to 10,000. You can read more about it here.

And as a nice accompaniment to Ramses’ database, check out Forvo, an online Spanish pronunciation site. Thousands of Spanish words have been recorded by native Spanish speakers so you can check the pronunciation. But keep it simple. There are currently roughly only 17,000 pronunciations and a random check that I did of their database found, not surprisingly, that many of the words offered are basic, everyday words. But it’s still a tool that can be very useful, especially for the Spanish language learner who doesn’t have frequent contact with native Spanish speakers. By the way, want to know the top 3 most requested pronunciations in their database? They are: mierda, Che Guevera and te quiero.

Karen Bryant at Teaching and Learning Spanish has put together a list of free iPhone Spanish learning apps. These are different from the ones I published on this blog back in July. Some are from companies/organizations that you probably already know but there are some language learning apps that are less obvious that Karen points out.

Do you still get tripped up by where to put the accent marks when you write in Spanish? Reglas para los acentos ortográficos by Prof. Rubén Delgado is an excellent comprehensive cheat sheet, in Spanish. And if you don’t know how to make Spanish tildes and signos de pronunciación like the upside down exclamation point (¡) and question mark (¿) on your computer keyboard, bookmark this page which has instructions for both Mac and Windows users.

And last, but not least, Sand Dune Publishing has released a new line of keepsake journals in Spanish called Entre Tú y Yo: Algunas preguntas que te he querido hacer. Inside each journal are fun, non-sappy, sometimes humorous questions. There are many ways people can use these keepsake journals. Parents can use them to record their own thoughts for their children. Language teachers can incorporate the questions into classroom/homework assignments. Also, I could even imagine the journal being used as an icebreaker in a bi-cultural family as a way to get in the good graces of la suegra.

By Erik Rasmussen

Recently my blogrollmate, Sharon, pointed me to this fascinating article, which you should read all the way through, entitled How Does Language Shape The Way We Think?. It highlights something I’ve noticed in my lingual trek into Spanish: that to properly speak another language, you must change the way you see the world. Because of the organic way that languages have formed, the constructs of various languages inherently contain extra information that is missing from other languages, information that is not thought about by non-speakers. It’s mastering these new understanding of the world around you that are the hardest part of learning another language.

The obvious verbal example in going from English to Spanish is that, in Spanish, there are two different forms of the verb “to be”. Which you use depends on how permanent the state of being is. The phrases “I am tall” and “I am hungry” use the same verb in English, but not in Spanish. This dichotomy is very tricky for English speakers learning Spanish.

Conversely one of the hardest parts of speaking English for native Spanish speakers is how English pronouns must agree with the gender of the subject. “Bob fell and broke his arm.” In Spanish that possessive pronoun is ambiguous, like “its”, because it’s obvious who the arm belonged to. To speak proper English, your brain has to be aware of and providing this extra bit of information. This is very tricky for Spanish speakers.

It’s Not Your Fault

One of my favorite idiosyncrasies of Spanish grammar is how often it sounds like the speaker is not in control of the situation, or not at fault.

Estaba fregando los platos y se me ha roto un plato.

This translates, maintaining the Spanish grammar, to something like: “I was washing the dishes and a plate broke to/for me.” You don’t say, “I broke a plate,” you were just there when the plate got broken. Not only that, but the plate broke itself specifically for you!

Se me cayó la cámara

This is how you say that you dropped something. It translates back to, “The camera fell to/for me.” There’s no verb for “to drop”, in Spanish. You say that the object fell, but that it happened to you.

Se han perdido las llaves

“The keys have lost themselves.” I didn’t lose the keys. They did it to themselves.

La planta que me diste se me ha muerto.

“The plant you gave me has died on me.” I didn’t kill it! And it didn’t just die, it died for me.

And the last one is my favorite…

No me gustas.

“I don’t like you.” One of the first phrases you learn in first-year Spanish is to express your preferences, your likes and dislikes. “Me gusta correr,” if you like to run. “No me gustan las patatas,” if you don’t like potatoes. Notice that the verb conjugation changed there because “potatoes” is plural. This throws students off because they still think of themselves as the subject of the sentence doing the liking, but it’s the other way around. The verb gustar translates closest to “to please”. Instead of thinking “I like to run”, to speak Spanish, you have to rephrase it to, “Running pleases me.” There simply isn’t a verb in Spanish for “liking” something. In Spanish, you are not in charge of what you like or dislike. I like this, this pleases me a lot. I want to like you, but you just don’t please me. It’s not my fault!

See what I mean about how you must change how you see the world to learn a foreign language?

This entry was written by Erik Rasmussen, an American living in Cantabría, Spain. It was originally published on his personal web site, “Erik’s Blog.”   What is your opinion of how language changes the way you think? In what ways have you had to rewire your brain to fully understand some aspects of Spanish? Tell us in the comments section below or click over to Erik’s blog here.

Photo: “She did it!”, used under license from iStockPhoto.com

Apple’s iPhone is one of the hottest gadgets around. Thanks to the iPhone’s popularity, a cottage industry of software, (computer applications called “apps”, for short), has sprung up. These apps allow people to do all sorts of things from the inane (“Hold on!”) to the sane (“Weather Channel”) to the profane (“iGirl – She Obeys”).

Because anyone with an idea and some programming skill can submit an app to Apple, creating a winning app is like the new American Dream. There is currently a digital gold rush as enterprising individuals flood the market with their apps, hoping for a piece of the action. Their intense interest is fueled by “rags-to-riches” stories starring unemployed programmers or teenage geeks who develop apps that quickly generate hundreds of thousands of dollars for their creators. Today there over 35,000 iPhone apps available.

Below is a guest post from Sarah Russel about five Spanish-learning applications for Apple’s iPhone and iPod Touch. While many iPhone apps are free, some charge a fee. Whether or not a particular app is right for you obviously will depend on your current level of Spanish and what you want out of a language learning tool. Expand your vocabulary? Review grammar? Work on verb conjugations? You get the idea.

Unfortunately, I don’t have an iPhone or iPod Touch, so I personally cannot vouch for any of these since I have not tried or used any of the apps that Sarah mentions below. I know that I may be running a risk by featuring an article on something that I personally haven’t tried, but maybe this is be a good opportunity for all of us to share what we know. If any of you reading this entry are iPhone/iPod Touch owners and can recommend some worthwhile Spanish-language learning apps, please tell us below in the comments section.

Thanks!

- Eleena

5 iPhone Apps to Help You Learn Spanish

By Sarah Russel

Apple’s iPhone isn’t just any old cellular phone. You can not only make calls, send texts, store your music and play games but actually learn a language as well. With the ability to take your language learning tools with you anywhere there’s no excuse why you can’t expand your mind, communicate your needs and share your language skills no matter where you are. Here are 5 apps to get you started.

1. iSpeakSpanish: Beginners will appreciate this useful mobile tool. Users can copy and paste text from anything and get an instant translation. Of course, the app is much more than that. It also has a voice capability that will read the text aloud, letting you learn how to correctly pronounce a variety of words and phrases.
2. 24/7 Tutor Spanish 101: Through this application you’ll be able to practice your language skills through puzzle games, writing exercises, flash cards and quizzes. The application will help you learn the vocab to successfully deal with family, travel, home, colors, numbers and more.
3. AccelaStudy Spanish: This application aims to make learning a language fun and successful. Along with the basics, users get high quality audio, flashcards and quizzes and study sets. You can create a study plan to ensure you stay on track with your learning.
4. MyWords Spanish: Through this study program you’ll be able to pick up new vocab in both written and spoken forms. You’ll only learn ten words a day so you won’t be overwhelmed by a crazy amount of vocabulary, and you’ll stand a better chance of remembering what you learn.
5. Spanish Verb Conjugation Trainer: In learning any language many students struggle with learning how to properly conjugate verbs, especially those that are irregular. This tool can make it easy to look up and understand how any verb in the Spanish language is conjugated in the past, present, future, imperfect and more.

Sarah Russel runs an Online College Degrees web site. She’s also written about 50 iPhone apps for learning foreign languages. You can reach her at: SarahRussel1234@gmail.com

1). Salma Hayek talking about Colombia’s land mine problem.

Yes, she’s a Hollywood starlet, and yes, she’s breathtakingly beautiful…and yet Salma Hayek always comes across in her public persona as an extremely down-to-earth, genuinely nice lady. In this video clip, Salma talks about the problem with land mines in Colombia. Originally from Mexico, Salma speaks in Spanish in this video. It’s great hearing her speak in her native language while informing us about an important issue.

2). Walk like an Egyptian? How about gesticulate like a Spaniard? 

The British newspaper “The Guardian” has put out an illustrated guide on Spanish hand gestures. The Guardian implies that using these gestures will make the user seem more authentically Spanish. Hmmm, I think the jury might be out on that one! At least it is good for a laugh.

3). The Boston Globe has compiled a collection of stunning photographs from 2009′s San Fermín festival in Pamplona, Spain. The running of the bulls this year was particularly gruesome and dangerous with one fatality and several serious injuries. Some of the photos are quite graphic but the majority of them are almost cinematic in quality, capturing all the intensity and drama of the event.

4). The Pew Hispanic Center is a treasure trove of hard data about the Latino population in the U.S. Among their reports are: “Mexican Immigrants in the U.S., 2008,” “Who is Hispanic?” and “Between Here and There: How Attached are Latino Immigrants to their Native Country?”

But how to get the items through customs?

In the past, it used to be easy. These days, with tightened airline security measures and weight restrictions related to luggage, there’s less space and more incentive to bring back nothing.

Here are two web sites that will whet your appetite and help you avoid having to deal with pesky U.S. customs.: La Tienda and Amigo Foods.

La Tienda, a Virginia-based company, specializes in food and wine from Spain. It tends to be on the gourmet, upscale side of the gastronomic scale.

Amigo Foods, which describes itself as an “online Latino grocery store,” has a broad selection of products from the Caribbean, Mexico, Central and South America as well as from Spain. A few items, [for example, Spanish blood pudding sausages (morcilla)], are made in the U.S., but the overwhelming majority of the products are imported directly from their countries of origin.

Even if you’re not in the mood to buy any food, it’s still fun to scroll through the pages of these sites. The Amigo Foods website could be especially useful to teachers who need info and photos of items for their classes about food and beverages in different Spanish-speaking countries.

This podcast is a reading, in Spanish, of the first chapter of the novella “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” written by Francis Scott Fitzgerald. If you saw the Oscar-nominated movie by the same title, you already know what the story is about…a man who ages in reverse.

Want the text in Spanish? Become a friend of Voices en Español on Facebook. I have posted the Spanish transcript there.

If you’d like to read the entire story in Spanish, you can buy the book at Amazon.com.

But did you know that there are several Spanish words that can be written with or without accent marks and their meanings don’t change? Best of all, both spellings are accepted by the Real Academia Española. In the past I’ve been puzzled when I’ve seen some words in Spanish, like atmósfera and período, spelled with and without accents. Knowing how important the accent mark is, I wasn’t sure if these were typos or accepted forms.

So, after doing a little research, I’ve complied a list of 24 of these words. [Click MORE to go directly to the list.] For each word, the one that is listed first is the version preferred by the RAE. However, both versions are accepted, so as long as you know how to spell the word correctly in Spanish, you don’t have to stress yourself trying to remember exactly where the accent mark goes if you can’t remember where to place the emphasis.

acné o acne: acne

afrodisíaco o afrodisiaco: aphrodisiac

amoníaco o amoniaco: ammonia

atmósfera o atmosfera: atmosphere

austriaco, ca o austríaco, ca.: Austrian

balaustre o balaústre: railing, guard rail (“Cada una de las columnas pequeñas que con los barandales forman las barandillas o antepechos de balcones, azoteas, corredores y escaleras.”)

bimano, na o bímano, na: Having two hands, i.e. a human being.

chófer o chofer: chauffeur, driver

cardíaco o cardiaco: cardiac, having to do with the heart

cóctel o coctel: cocktail

dinamo o dínamo: dynamo

elixir o elíxir: elixir

etíope o etiope: Ethiopian

fríjol o frijol: bean

médula o medula: marrow, as in bone marrow

meteoro o metéoro: meteor

olimpiada u olimpíada: Olympiad, Olympics

omóplato u omoplato: shoulder blade

pabilo o pábilo: A candle wick as well as the burned part of the wick.

pelícano o pelicano: pelican

pensil o pénsil: hanging, dangling

pentagrama o pentágrama: Pentagram, a five-sided geometric figure

período o periodo: period

varices o várices: Varicose veins

Spain essentially shuts down for the summer, particularly in the month of August, when virtually every Spaniard worth his chorizo, takes the month off and either heads to the beach or to the mountains. In recent years, before the global economy tanked, it was common for young Spaniards to travel abroad, many of them using their vacation time to study or practice English in the U.K., Ireland, Malta or the U.S.

But this year, with unemployment levels running high and money tight, many Spaniards are either canceling their vacations entirely or planning to take short trips close to home. Several Madrid businesses have already announced that they intend to stay open during the month of August in order to keep their operations afloat and make up for the reduction of revenue that they’ve experienced already this year. La Cámara de Comercio, Madrid’s equivalent of a Better Business Bureau, predicts that customers will see way fewer “Cerrado por vacaciones” signs in shop windows and estimates that less than 5% of  businesses will close for the summer.

Fortunately for those who decide to stay close to home, there are plenty of things to see and do and many of it free or discounted. Here’s the type of commercial Spanish tourism offices are running to entice Spaniards to vacation close to home:

Here is a random round-up of touristy events:

MADRID: Annie Leibovitz: Vida de una fotógrafa, 1990-2005

An exhibit of roughly 200 photos from this internationally-known American photographer on loan from the Brooklyn Museum in New York. Leibovitz is famous for her photos of celebrities. She was the last photographer to take pictures of John Lennon before he was killed and her iconic photo of a naked, pregnant Demi Moore for the cover of Vanity Fair still makes an impression 18 years later.  The Leibovitz photos will be on display in Madrid until September and is just one of several photo exhibitions currently going on as part of the Photo España 2009 event.

PAÍS VASCO: Las ballenas de Santurtzi

Whale watching trips in July, August and September on the “Pride of Bilbao” ferry from the port of Santurzi (near Bilbao) to Portsmouth, U.K.

NAVARRA: The 1st International Hemingway Doubles and Impersonator Contest

Writer Ernest Hemingway had a lifelong fascination with Spain and it’s mainly because of him why so many people outside of Spain are familiar with the San Fermin festival (the running of the bulls) in Pamplona. To mark the 50th anniversary of Hemingway’s last visit to the festival, the tourism bureau of Navarra is holding a Hemingway lookalike contest. The deadline to enter the contest has already passed but the finalists will be presented to the public in a kind of mini “beauty” pageant and then the winner will be selected on July 4, the day before this year’s San Fermín festival begins.

Also in Navarra…..tourists who stay at stay at least 2 nights at participating hotels in the region will receive up to four free tickets for different local attractions. Click here for more info.

ZARAGOZA: Los Festivales del Ebro

A series of 300 different events and activities during the months of June and July, including a concert by Madonna on July 25.

Do you think most of the phrases you share with us are common to Latin American countries or primarily to Spain? Would it be safe to say that all your material is known in Spain and a portion is also used in Latin America?

Excellent question and I’m glad you’ve raised the issue. Generally I try to stick to common words or phrases that are used universally, are widely known or will be easily understood by native Spanish speakers everywhere. But because I live in Spain and I have been exposed to more Castilian Spanish than Latin American Spanish, you can assume that the phrases you find on this blog would most definitely be used in Spain. Occasionally I may throw in a phrase or two of slang, but if I do I will clearly state that. However, I generally tend to stay away from blogging about slang phrases. Here’s why:

A). It’s highly regional in nature. Some popular slang expressions in el Distrito Federal in Mexico may draw blank stares if used on the streets of Madrid.

B). It is frequently dependent on age, gender or social class. By that I mean it’s a way of speaking between people who belong to the same group. If the person using a particular vernacular doesn’t belong to the group, he (or she) can actually be setting himself (herself) up for embarrassment.

A middle-aged American businessman going around Spain saying “me mola un huevo” (which loosely translated in English means “It’s freaking awesome!”) may think he’s fitting in with the locals. However such an expression coming out of a 50-year-old’s mouth may unintentionally generate snickers of derision instead of nods of admiration, even though the phrase is being used correctly. The reason? The speaker is not a 15-year-old Spanish teenager.

Consider the reaction you have in English when you hear a middle-aged suburbanite using slang that is specific to young girls or rappers. It sounds odd.

I’ve fallen into this trap myself. I once thought it would be OK for me to go around using the terms “macho” or “tronco” when referring to guys until a Spanish friend told me to stop. I thought it was OK to use these words because I had heard people (usually men) using those words to refer to other men. To my Spanish friend it sounded weird for a woman, especially a non-Spanish woman, to use those terms.

Anyway, getting back to your original question, yes, the bulk of the idiomatic expressions you find on this blog are phrases definitely used in Spain. Many of them are also used or, at the very least, understood in Latin America.

However, reader beware.

If you see a particular phrase that you’d like to use in Mexico or Argentina or Puerto Rico, etc., but you’re not sure it will fly, visit the Spanish-English forum at Word Reference.com to get an accurate reality check from native speakers living in those countries. Also, if you have a language intercambio (a conversation exchange with a native Spanish speaker), talking about idiomatic expressions is a fun way to learn more about their culture and clear up these kinds of doubts.

In the future, whenever possible, I will try to make distinctions and provide some alternative phrases used in different countries, especially if I know that the phrase used in Spain might be misunderstood or draw a blank in Latin America. For example, I did this recently on my Twitter page where I gave two different phrases (one used in Mexico, the other in Spain) to refer to wearing out the dance floor.

However, I can’t make any firm promises about how often I will be able to do this since there may be variations of an expression within a region (Cuban vs. Dominican Spanish, for example) not to mention within a country (Mexico City vs. Mexico). I’d rather provide you guys with streamlined content that has been curated in some way, (i.e. edited and boiled down to the essentials), instead of flooding the zone and swamping you with an encyclopedic entry.

Got a question? Drop me a line via the Contact page or leave your question in the comments section. ¡Gracias!

(By the way, notice how the English phrase “black & white” gets reversed in Spanish to “blanco y negro.” For example: black and white movies = películas en blanco y negro)

Here are some common Spanish expressions using blanco or negro.

ESTAR SIN BLANCA: To be broke, to have no money.

DAR EN EL BLANCO: To hit the mark, to hit the target.

EN BLANCO: Blank, as in, “La página estaba en blanco.” “The page was blank.”

Which leads to…. ESTAR EN BLANCO (to draw a blank, to have no idea) which is essentially the same as QUEDARSE EN BLANCO (to have one’s mind go blank).

PASAR LA NOCHE EN BLANCO: to suffer a sleepless night, to be unable to fall asleep

ESTAR NEGRO: To be very angry or to be extremely tanned, depending on the context.

VERLO TODO MUY NEGRO: To be pessimistic about something

PASARLAS NEGRAS: To have a hard time. Andrés las pasó negras cuando perdió su trabajo.

TENER LA NEGRA/TRAER LA NEGRA: To be unlucky, to bring bad luck. (Ese tio me trae la negra. That dude brings me bad luck.)

OK, the first time I heard this expression I was like ¿Qué qué? because my American mind jumped to the erroneous conclusion that it had something to do with race and implying that black people brought bad luck or something. Fortunately, I was mistaken. Turns out “la negra” refers to playing cards or fortune telling cards. The card containing the Ace of Spades historically was considered a bad omen.

Enjoyed this post? Check out Color Coded, Part 1: Verde. Also, get more insights into Spanish verb phrases at Twitter.com/ReVerbSpanish.

Mr. Taylor, Part 2
By Augusto Monterroso

Contados meses más tarde, en el país de Mr. Taylor las cabezas alcanzaron aquella popularidad que todos recordamos. Al principio eran privilegio de las familias más pudientes; pero la democracia es la democracia y, nadie lo va a negar, en cuestión de semanas pudieron adquirirlas hasta los mismos maestros de escuela.

Un hogar sin su correspondiente cabeza teníase por un hogar fracasado. Pronto vinieron los coleccionistas y, con ellos, las contradicciones: poseer diecisiete cabezas llegó a ser considerado de mal gusto; pero era distinguido tener once. Se vulgarizaron tanto que los verdaderos elegantes fueron perdiendo interés y ya sólo por excepción adquirían alguna, si presentaba cualquier particularidad que la salvara de lo vulgar. Una, muy rara, con bigotes prusianos, que perteneciera en vida a un general bastante condecorado, fue obsequiada al Instituto Danfeller, el que a su vez donó, como de rayo, tres y medio millones de dólares para impulsar el desenvolvimiento de aquella manifestación cultural, tan excitante, de los pueblos hispanoamericanos.

Mientras tanto, la tribu había progresado en tal forma que ya contaba con una veredita alrededor del Palacio Legislativo. Por esa alegre veredita paseaban los domingos y el Día de la Independencia los miembros del Congreso, carraspeando, luciendo sus plumas, muy serios, riéndose, en las bicicletas que les había obsequiado la Compañía.

Pero, ¿qué quieren? No todos los tiempos son buenos. Cuando menos lo esperaban se presentó la primera escasez de cabezas.

Entonces comenzó lo más alegre de la fiesta.

Las meras defunciones resultaron ya insuficientes. El Ministro de Salud Pública se sintió sincero, y una noche caliginosa, con la luz apagada, después de acariciarle un ratito el pecho como por no dejar, le confesó a su mujer que se consideraba incapaz de elevar la mortalidad a un nivel grato a los intereses de la Compañía, a lo que ella le contestó que no se preocupara, que ya vería cómo todo iba a salir bien, y que mejor se durmieran.

Para compensar esa deficiencia administrativa fue indispensable tomar medidas heroicas y se estableció la pena de muerte en forma rigurosa.

Los juristas se consultaron unos a otros y elevaron a la categoría de delito, penado con la horca o el fusilamiento, según su gravedad, hasta la falta más nimia.

Incluso las simples equivocaciones pasaron a ser hechos delictuosos. Ejemplo: si en una conversación banal, alguien, por puro descuido, decía “Hace mucho calor”, y posteriormente podía comprobársele, termómetro en mano, que en realidad el calor no era para tanto, se le cobraba un pequeño impuesto y era pasado ahí mismo por las armas, correspondiendo la cabeza a la Compañía y, justo es decirlo, el tronco y las extremidades a los dolientes.

La legislación sobre las enfermedades ganó inmediata resonancia y fue muy comentada por el Cuerpo Diplomático y por las Cancillerías de potencias amigas.

De acuerdo con esa memorable legislación, a los enfermos graves se les concedían veinticuatro horas para poner en orden sus papeles y morirse; pero si en este tiempo tenían suerte y lograban contagiar a la familia, obtenían tantos plazos de un mes como parientes fueran contaminados. Las víctimas de enfermedades leves y los simplemente indispuestos merecían el desprecio de la patria y, en la calle, cualquiera podía escupirle el rostro. Por primera vez en la historia fue reconocida la importancia de los médicos (hubo varios candidatos al premio Nóbel) que no curaban a nadie. Fallecer se convirtió en ejemplo del más exaltado patriotismo, no sólo en el orden nacional, sino en el más glorioso, en el continental.

Con el empuje que alcanzaron otras industrias subsidiarias (la de ataúdes, en primer término, que floreció con la asistencia técnica de la Compañía) el país entró, como se dice, en un periodo de gran auge económico. Este impulso fue particularmente comprobable en una nueva veredita florida, por la que paseaban, envueltas en la melancolía de las doradas tardes de otoño, las señoras de los diputados, cuyas lindas cabecitas decían que sí, que sí, que todo estaba bien, cuando algún periodista solícito, desde el otro lado, las saludaba sonriente sacándose el sombrero.

Al margen recordaré que uno de estos periodistas, quien en cierta ocasión emitió un lluvioso estornudo que no pudo justificar, fue acusado de extremista y llevado al paredón de fusilamiento. Sólo después de su abnegado fin los académicos de la lengua reconocieron que ese periodista era una de las más grandes cabezas del país; pero una vez reducida quedó tan bien que ni siquiera se notaba la diferencia.

¿Y Mr. Taylor? Para ese tiempo ya había sido designado consejero particular del Presidente Constitucional. Ahora, y como ejemplo de lo que puede el esfuerzo individual, contaba los miles por miles; mas esto no le quitaba el sueño porque había leído en el último tomo de las Obras completas de William G. Knight que ser millonario no deshonra si no se desprecia a los pobres.

Creo que con ésta será la segunda vez que diga que no todos los tiempos son buenos. Dada la prosperidad del negocio llegó un momento en que del vecindario sólo iban quedando ya las autoridades y sus señoras y los periodistas y sus señoras. Sin mucho esfuerzo, el cerebro de Mr. Taylor discurrió que el único remedio posible era fomentar la guerra con las tribus vecinas. ¿Por qué no? El progreso.

Con la ayuda de unos cañoncitos, la primera tribu fue limpiamente descabezada en escasos tres meses. Mr. Taylor saboreó la gloria de extender sus dominios. Luego vino la segunda; después la tercera y la cuarta y la quinta. El progreso se extendió con tanta rapidez que llegó la hora en que, por más esfuerzos que realizaron los técnicos, no fue posible encontrar tribus vecinas a quienes hacer la guerra.

Fue el principio del fin.

Las vereditas empezaron a languidecer. Sólo de vez en cuando se veía transitar por ellas a alguna señora, a algún poeta laureado con su libro bajo el brazo. La maleza, de nuevo, se apoderó de las dos, haciendo difícil y espinoso el delicado paso de las damas. Con las cabezas, escasearon las bicicletas y casi desaparecieron del todo los alegres saludos optimistas.

El fabricante de ataúdes estaba más triste y fúnebre que nunca. Y todos sentían como si acabaran de recordar de un grato sueño, de ese sueño formidable en que tú te encuentras una bolsa repleta de monedas de oro y la pones debajo de la almohada y sigues durmiendo y al día siguiente muy temprano, al despertar, la buscas y te hallas con el vacío.

Sin embargo, penosamente, el negocio seguía sosteniéndose. Pero ya se dormía con dificultad, por el temor a amanecer exportado.

En la patria de Mr. Taylor, por supuesto, la demanda era cada vez mayor. Diariamente aparecían nuevos inventos, pero en el fondo nadie creía en ellos y todos exigían las cabecitas hispanoamericanas.

Fue para la última crisis. Mr. Rolston, desesperado, pedía y pedía más cabezas. A pesar de que las acciones de la Compañía sufrieron un brusco descenso, Mr. Rolston estaba convencido de que su sobrino haría algo que lo sacara de aquella situación.

Los embarques, antes diarios, disminuyeron a uno por mes, ya con cualquier cosa, con cabezas de niño, de señoras, de diputados.

De repente cesaron del todo.

Un viernes áspero y gris, de vuelta de la Bolsa, aturdido aún por la gritería y por el lamentable espectáculo de pánico que daban sus amigos, Mr. Rolston se decidió a saltar por la ventana (en vez de usar el revólver, cuyo ruido lo hubiera llenado de terror) cuando al abrir un paquete del correo se encontró con la cabecita de Mr. Taylor, que le sonreía desde lejos, desde el fiero Amazonas, con una sonrisa falsa de niño que parecía decir: “Perdón, perdón, no lo vuelvo a hacer.”

Welcome to La Casa Rojas, a brand new online magazine created by Joan Rojas. If the last name is familiar, it’s because Joan is the wife and business partner of Luis Rojas of Rojas Spanish.

Joan has undertaken an incredible task. She’s assembled a group of approximately 20 writers and bloggers from disparate backgrounds from across Latin America and Spain to write about the culture, food, history, politics and daily life in their respective countries, and all of it in Spanish. Luis also will provide insights into linguistic aspects of the Spanish language.

La Cosa Rojas launched earlier today and is already filled with content from contributors from Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica, Cuba, Mexico, Spain and Uruguay, the U.S., with more content on its way from Peru. Also, for some articles, the authors will read their stories, so an audio recording will eventually accompany several of the articles. Yours truly will also be a regular contributor with at least one piece, possibly two, a month. Here’s my first submission: La cocina innovadora de España

The magazine will be visible to the public for the next few days. On June 15 it converts to a membership site, but a three-month subscription is only $15.

Drop by La Casa Rojas muy pronto. Su casa es tu casa.

Just select the newspaper(s) you wish to receive and then either click on the subscribe via RSS or via the iTunes button. That’s it. There’s no fee for this service and each morning a copy of that day’s newspaper will be delivered to you electronically in a PDF-file. It can’t get any easier than that.

P.S. If you are unfamiliar with RSS feeds, click here to get more info about what it is and how to use it. In a nutshell, RSS is an excellent way to receive updates about new blog entries on your favorite web sites without having to give out your email address. I recommend Google Reader but there are plenty of other feed readers you can use. Also, you can subscribe to the newspaper feeds via iTunes and the PDF will download automatically to the podcast section of your iTunes account daily.

Mister Taylor by Augusto Monterroso is a brillant satire about U.S. imperalism in Latin America. It’s been described as a modern fable but its key points are grounded in history. I don’t think I’ve ever read a piece that so cleverly addresses U.S. influence in Latin America and criticizes it at the same time in such a humorous manner.

“Mister Taylor” is a story about Mr. Percy Taylor of Boston, Mass. who winds up living in some unnamed South American country in the 1940s. He’s financially broke and doing nothing, until one day during a walk in the jungle he bumps into one of the natives who offers to sell him a shrunken head.

“Buy head? Money, money.”

That chance meeting leads to an unexpected business opportunity that affects, (or should I say infects), the society of the Latin American country where Mr. Taylor lives.

Believe or not but there was a time when collecting shrunken heads from South America was all the rage in Western countries. I did a little digging around and came across a story published in 1921 in National Geographic about the Jivaro Indians in Ecuador. They were a ferocious people, famous for their bellicose nature and for being the only known South American tribe that successfully defied being conquered by the Spanish conquistadors AND being taken over by the Incas. Their reputation for shrinking the heads of their enemies as trophies became their calling card and probably one of their best weapons to ward off invaders. The National Geographic article, published 88 years ago, is fascinating. Here’s an excerpt about the souvenir trade of shrunken heads:

Because of the interest aroused in the outside world by tales concerning these head-hunters, there has been in the past a lively trade in human heads. The Jivaros, learning that there was a demand which could be capitalized into muskets, quickly gave a ready response; so that it became necessary for the Ecuadorean Government strictly to forbid the traffic in these objects.

Tales are told of the results of this practice which are not without a certain grim irony. There is a story, for example, of a red-headed white man who went into the interior on a trip of exploration charged with the commission of bringing out a dried and shrunken head. It was months after he had departed that a shrunken-head came out, by devious channels, from the Oriente, but the head had red hair. Perhaps a red-haired head brought the price of 2 muskets; who could tell?

Hmmm, could that have been the original Mr. Taylor, perhaps?

In any case, the National Geographic article goes on to say that the Jivaro Indians, despite their fearsome reputation, were quite nice to their researchers.  “Contrary to our expectations, after hearing stories of the Jivaro (and to the average Ecuadorean the word Jivaro is synonymous with violent death and all manner of disagreeable things), we found then a good-natured people and very friendly to us.”

Listen to Part 1 of Mister Taylor and visit Head-Hunter.com (how appropriate!) to read more about the Jivaro people. I’ll post part 2 of the story later next week.

Photo: Jivaro Shrunken Head by Ed Schipul

-Menos rara, aunque sin duda más ejemplar -dijo entonces el otro-, es la historia de Mr. Percy Taylor, cazador de cabezas en la selva amazónica.

Se sabe que en 1937 salió de Boston, Massachusetts, en donde había pulido su espíritu hasta el extremo de no tener un centavo. En 1944 aparece por primera vez en América del Sur, en la región del Amazonas, conviviendo con los indígenas de una tribu cuyo nombre no hace falta recordar.

Por sus ojeras y su aspecto famélico pronto llegó a ser conocido allí como “el gringo pobre”, y los niños de la escuela hasta lo señalaban con el dedo y le tiraban piedras cuando pasaba con su barba brillante bajo el dorado sol tropical. Pero esto no afligía la humilde condición de Mr. Taylor porque había leído en el primer tomo de las Obras Completas de William G. Knight que si no se siente envidia de los ricos la pobreza no deshonra.

En pocas semanas los naturales se acostumbraron a él y a su ropa extravagante. Además, como tenía los ojos azules y un vago acento extranjero, el Presidente y el Ministro de Relaciones Exteriores lo trataban con singular respeto, temerosos de provocar incidentes internacionales.

Tan pobre y mísero estaba, que cierto día se internó en la selva en busca de hierbas para alimentarse. Había caminado cosa de varios metros sin atreverse a volver el rostro, cuando por pura casualidad vio a través de la maleza dos ojos indígenas que lo observaban decididamente. Un largo estremecimiento recorrió la sensitiva espalda de Mr. Taylor. Pero Mr. Taylor, intrépido, arrostró el peligro y siguió su camino silbando como si nada hubiera pasado.

De un salto (que no hay para qué llamar felino) el nativo se le puso enfrente y exclamó:

-Buy head? Money, money.

A pesar de que el inglés no podía ser peor, Mr. Taylor, algo indispuesto, sacó en claro que el indígena le ofrecía en venta una cabeza de hombre, curiosamente reducida, que traía en la mano.

Es innecesario decir que Mr. Taylor no estaba en capacidad de comprarla; pero como aparentó no comprender, el indio se sintió terriblemente disminuido por no hablar bien el inglés, y se la regaló pidiéndole disculpas.

Grande fue el regocijo con que Mr. Taylor regresó a su choza. Esa noche, acostado boca arriba sobre la precaria estera de palma que le servía de lecho, interrumpido tan solo por el zumbar de las moscas acaloradas que revoloteaban en torno haciéndose obscenamente el amor, Mr. Taylor contempló con deleite durante un buen rato su curiosa adquisición. El mayor goce estético lo extraía de contar, uno por uno, los pelos de la barba y el bigote, y de ver de frente el par de ojillos entre irónicos que parecían sonreírle agradecidos por aquella deferencia.

Hombre de vasta cultura, Mr. Taylor solía entregarse a la contemplación; pero esta vez en seguida se aburrió de sus reflexiones filosóficas y dispuso obsequiar la cabeza a un tío suyo, Mr. Rolston, residente en Nueva York, quien desde la más tierna infancia había revelado una fuerte inclinación por las manifestaciones culturales de los pueblos hispanoamericanos.

Pocos días después el tío de Mr. Taylor le pidió -previa indagación sobre el estado de su importante salud- que por favor lo complaciera con cinco más. Mr. Taylor accedió gustoso al capricho de Mr. Rolston y -no se sabe de qué modo- a vuelta de correo “tenía mucho agrado en satisfacer sus deseos”. Muy reconocido, Mr. Rolston le solicitó otras diez. Mr. Taylor se sintió “halagadísimo de poder servirlo”. Pero cuando pasado un mes aquél le rogó el envío de veinte, Mr. Taylor, hombre rudo y barbado pero de refinada sensibilidad artística, tuvo el presentimiento de que el hermano de su madre estaba haciendo negocio con ellas.

Bueno, si lo quieren saber, así era. Con toda franqueza, Mr. Rolston se lo dio a entender en una inspirada carta cuyos términos resueltamente comerciales hicieron vibrar como nunca las cuerdas del sensible espíritu de Mr. Taylor.

De inmediato concertaron una sociedad en la que Mr. Taylor se comprometía a obtener y remitir cabezas humanas reducidas en escala industrial, en tanto que Mr. Rolston las vendería lo mejor que pudiera en su país.

Los primeros días hubo algunas molestas dificultades con ciertos tipos del lugar. Pero Mr. Taylor, que en Boston había logrado las mejores notas con un ensayo sobre Joseph Henry Silliman, se reveló como político y obtuvo de las autoridades no sólo el permiso necesario para exportar, sino, además, una concesión exclusiva por noventa y nueve años. Escaso trabajo le costó convencer al guerrero Ejecutivo y a los brujos Legislativos de que aquel paso patriótico enriquecería en corto tiempo a la comunidad, y de que luego estarían todos los sedientos aborígenes en posibilidad de beber (cada vez que hicieran una pausa en la recolección de cabezas) de beber un refresco bien frío, cuya fórmula mágica él mismo proporcionaría.

Cuando los miembros de la Cámara, después de un breve pero luminoso esfuerzo intelectual, se dieron cuenta de tales ventajas, sintieron hervir su amor a la patria y en tres días promulgaron un decreto exigiendo al pueblo que acelerara la producción de cabezas reducidas.

Click here for Part 2

Madrid Confessions by Ben Curtis is an audio memoir about the evolution of a British expat’s life in Spain’s capital city. Ben, along with his Spanish wife Marina Diez, have a large and devoted following for their Notes in Spanish podcasts. In the Madrid Confessions, Ben satisfies his fans’ curiosity about aspects of his private life and reveals how a series of serendipitous events led him to launch, and now run, a successful internet business. This English-language audio book is approximately 2.5 hours long and costs 17 euros ($24).

Novel of Life: Madrid, Spain by Lethe Bashar presents the viewpoint of an American college student on a study abroad program. Bashar is actually the pen name of Chris Al-Aswad and the book is a novelistic treatment of his time in Spain.

He moves into an apartment with a sixty-five year old Senora. Within two weeks, he undergoes an extreme form of culture shock. Between quitting classes, falling in love with his Senora’s maid (and his psychiatrist), smoking hashish, and meeting a group of native Spaniards, an innocent study abroad program turns to living dangerously.

Chris describes his book as “autobiographical fiction” as most, but not all, of his protagonist’s experiences happened to him during his year in Spain. Bashar’s Novel of Life remains a work in progress since it is not yet finished, but the Madrid chapters are readable online and there is also an accompanying podcast. Click here for a Q&A with Chris about the book.

What should I call you? By your pen name “Lethe Bashar” or by your real name or can I use both?

You can call me by real name:  Chris Al-Aswad.  I use a pen name, which is also the main character of my novel, Lethe Bashar.

Your Madrid novel is autobiographical. Why did you decide to go with a novel treatment instead of a memoir?

I call the genre “autobiographical fiction”.  It is more or less a memoir with poetic license. I’m also a personal essayist and so I work within the memoir form a lot.  My blog of personal essays is The Blog of Innocence.

I choose the novel form so that I may explore the creative boundaries of writing about my life.  Spain is one of three novels that cover my adolescence.  The whole narrative is an epic retelling of adolescence in different locations, and at different time periods.

Yes.  This is a story I have been working on for over ten years, believe it or not.  I continually deepen the characters and go deeper with the story itself.  The only explanation for this is a meticulous love of the craft of fiction.

I would say about 70% of the story actually happened.  But whenever we try to parse reality from fiction, memory from lived experience, we run into major problems.  No representation, including a memoir, will be “the truth.”  Once words are formed about an experience of the past, fiction gets created no matter what.

The Novel of Life is far from finished.  But I approach this work not as a professional novelist but as an amateur and a hobbyist.  I leave it alone for weeks or months and then return to it and work diligently for awhile before I put it down again.

The Madrid section of the novel has one more part yet to be written.  Then the story will resume back on another blog called Lethe in Vegas, which is about what happens after Spain.

This is my first novel.  If there is enough interest, and if I am pleased with the final work, I may publish it.  Most likely, the graphic editions of the work will be published sooner.  An Argentinean illustrator is currently working on the Las Vegas story here.

I was 19 years old when I studied at the International Institute in Madrid in 1999. But I dropped out of school and joined a band of friendly Spaniards. I left my Senora’s house and moved into a pensione, where I wrote fiction and partied a lot. I was living in la Plaza del Sol for approximately one year.

I lived in Chicago for several years.  I was born and raised in Illinois, suburbs of Chicago.  I graduated from DePaul University.  Now I live in Central Illinois.

My favorite chapter is probably “Hashish”; but I don’t know if you want to include that one. I also should tell you that I do a podcast for every chapter on this site.

From what I’ve seen in the pilot episodes, the videos focus on undiscovered talent, unknown artists and off-beat cultural events unlikely to attract a lot of notice from the mainstream Spanish media. On its home page, LostIn.TV says that its mission is to tell people about “todo aquello que no puedes perderte en tu ciudad.”

Below is the pilot episode for Lost in Barcelona. I watched the videos for the other cities but the one for Barcelona is the best, in my opinion. Antonia Folguera, the presenter, projects the right attitude (young, fashionable and intelligent) and comes across as more polished than the presenters for the other cities. But that’s a minor quibble since overall the Lost In.tv project looks very promising.

El Instituto Cervantes is a non-profit organization created by the Spanish government to teach the Spanish language and raise awareness about Spanish culture around the world. And Starbucks, of course, needs no introduction as it is the world’s dominant coffee house chain.

The fact that the Instituto Cervantes got this contract is quite a coup, considering the size of the Starbucks operation in the U.S. The classes will take place online through the Instituto Cervantes’ Aula Virtual de Español (el AVE, for short, just like the acronym for Spain’s high-speed train), and the instructors will be from the University of Washington’s Spanish language department in Seattle. At this point it’s unclear exactly how many Starbucks employees will enroll and whether this education benefit is specifically for them to use Spanish on the job.

When I used to live in New York City I took three different courses at the Instituto Cervantes in Manhattan and the instructors were really top-notch. I think that Starbucks employees who take advantage of this company perk are going to be very satisfied, if they stick with the course. Their progress will be monitored quaterly, and at the end of 12 months they can take the DELE exam (Diploma de Español como Lengua Extranjera), which is a nice piece of paper to have for anyone wishing to have proof of their level of Spanish.

And who knows? Maybe in a few months the Starbucks baristas will be taking your order in Spanish, instead of English.

That’s why this video clip is so funny to me. Cristina Kirchner, the current president of Argentina, has some snarky words for Obama. In a recent political speech, she sarcastically wondered aloud if Obama had been reading up on General Juan Perón, (dictator and husband of Evita). Kirchner also claimed that Obama was copying her (and her husband’s) economic model. (Her husband, Néstor Carlos Kirchner, was president of Argentina from 2003 until 2007 when Cristina was voted to succeed him in the position.)

Her comment about political plagiarism is laughable. That would be like me adopting an orphan from Africa and then holding a press conference to yell “copy cat!” the next time Madonna or Angelina Jolie decide to do the same. (Peruvian journalist Jaime Bayly, who appears in the following video, thinks la Sra. Kirchner is a little wacko too.)

Does Cristina Kirchner really believe that Obama even thinks about Argentina? In fact, it’s doubtful that he even knows who she is, as evidenced by the following video. Maybe her recent comments are a way to get back at Obama for this public snub or perhaps it’s just to prop herself up and recast herself as a strong leader by making some tenuous association between herself and Barry? Either way, it’s pretty amusing.

To listen to Part 1 of this conversation please visit Luis’ web site, Rojas Spanish Podcast. Be sure to check out his cultural video language-learning program and online Spanish-language community while you’re there.

I guest blogged this week over at Notes from Spain about Pan de Vino, a bread made out of wine. Sounds almost biblical, don’t you think? Anyway it’s being developed by a Spanish winery and a single slice of the purple-hued bread supposedly will have all of the benefits of two copas de vino without any of the side effects. I’ll drink to that.    [Click here to see a photo of it.]

Neat twist on the traditional travel guide: Ruba.com. Regular folks, like you and I, upload our favorite travel photos, creating a visual travel guide which is then put on display online. Each photo has a brief, one paragraph description of the location. It’s a lot like Flickr, but with a travel focus and it’s a nice way to explore your next vacation destination without leaving home. There are already several of these Ruba travel guides for different parts of Spain, such as Asturias, Costa del Sol, the Canary Islands, etc. Below is one entitled “Moorish Architecture in Spain: 800 Years of Domination.” (Click on the box below to see the photos.)

A quirky movie called “The Limits of Control” arrives in movie theaters this weekend. I read the New York Times review and still don’t understand what the heck this movie is about. It was filmed entirely in Spain, so it might be fun to try to spot the landmarks or figure out where exactly various scenes were filmed. The movie was directed by Jim Jarmusch and stars indie film favorites Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Gael García Bernal and John Hurt, so if you’re into art house movies, this might be your kind of entertainment.

The following video clip is an odd scene between the lead character, -who doesn’t have a name but is called “Lone Man” in the film credits-, and the always reliably bizarre Tilda Swinton. Her “Usted no habla español, ¿verdad?” made me chuckle, for some reason.

A different clip of the Lone Man with another character is more promising. Although we’re watching the clip out of context, it seems to make more sense as a stand-alone scene and it has got a bit of humor, thanks to the always reliably amusing Bill Murray.

ReVerb Spanish is not a rigid grammar study course. It is more like a supplement to whatever you’re currently doing with your Spanish. It’s not going to teach you Spanish grammar or go into a lot of depth with lengthy explanations. There are already a ton of web sites out there brimming with Spanish grammar explanations. What is harder to find, at least compiled and cataloged in one location, are easy-to-understand insights into Spanish verbs.

To that end, my objective is to keep things very simple and to act as your guide, pointing out nuances and variations of Spanish verbs that have similar meanings. For example, the Spanish verbs salir, irse, marcharse and largarse all generally mean the same thing: to leave. However, there is an underlying meaning with a couple of these verbs that causes native Spanish speakers to use them differently to convey specific meanings. Meanwhile the typical Spanish-English dictionary won’t bother to tell you the subtext. It can’t because that would require a lot of space, in some cases, to explain these nuances fully.

In this podcast you’ll get an introduction to the ReVerb Spanish podcast and the type of content I’ll be posting over there. Get immediate updates to the blog and podcast by subscribing either via RSS, by email, or through iTunes. I also put together a 6-page “Action Guide” with advice on ways to conquer Spanish verbs. You’ll get that automatically when you sign up for the ReVerb Spanish email list. Just enter your name and email in the little pop-up box that slides into view when you land on the web site.

This podcast is an introduction to my latest web project: ReVerb Spanish. If I do it right, it is going to help you review, relearn and remember the different meanings and conjugations of Spanish verbs. This podcast contains 3 separate ReVerb Spanish episodes in one sitting. It includes the general introduction, a segment about Conocer vs. Saber and then an audio verb drill of the verb SER.

Also, as a bonus, I’ve thrown in a micro relato by Julio Cortázar. Below is the text of that story. What more could you ask for? Enjoy!

Haga como si estuviera en casa: Un micro-relato de Julio Cortázar

Una esperanza se hizo una casa y le puso una baldosa que decía: “Bienvenidos los que llegan a este hogar”. Un fama se hizo una casa y no le puso mayormente baldosas. Un cronopio se hizo una casa y siguiendo la costumbre puso en el porche diversas baldosas que compró o hizo fabricar. Las baldosas estaban colocadas de manera que se las pudiera leer en orden. La primera decía: “Bienvenidos los que llegan a este hogar”. La segunda decía: “La casa es chica, pero el corazón es grande”. La tercera decía: “La presencia del huésped es suave como el césped”. La cuarta decía: “Somos pobres de verdad, pero no de voluntad”. La quinta decía: “Este cartel anula todos los anteriores. Rajá, perro”.

Last September, when I initially met Luis, I asked him to record the intro to the short story reading “Cine Prado“, which he gladly did. At the time the U.S. presidential campaign was still in full swing and Luis said he thought it would be nice to do a joint podcast about Barack Obama and his educational policies. I thought we should wait to see who won the election first, but Luis was pretty confident that Obama was going to win.

In any case, we did wait until after the election to record this conversation. Since Luis and I both have podcasts, we decided to split the interview into two parts. In Part 1 he talks about his professional background, how he came to be a U.S. citizen and the growing interest Americans have to learn Spanish. This part is available for download here on his blog. Next week I’ll post the second part of the interview here at “Voices en Español.”

In addition to the podcast, Luis and his wife Joan offer an instructional video program called “Viajando en español con Luis y Joan.” These premium videos feature Luis and Joan in various Spanish-speaking countries where they interview the locals and offer cultural and language insights. Joan also has a blog where she writes from first-hand experience about the joys and challenges of learning Spanish. Additionally, Luis is also planning to offer Spanish language classes via Skype, so even if you don’t live in St. Paul, there will soon be a way to have Luis as your personal Spanish teacher.

Piracy on the high seas has been all over the news this month. What had been simmering on the U.S. news media back burner last year finally boiled over earlier this month when a group of Somalian pirates hijacked an American cargo ship and then demanded a $2 million ransom for the ship’s captain. For a few days there the tension and anxiety were extremely high as everyone wondered who would blink first: Pres. Obama or a group of Somalian teenagers wielding assault rifles. Fortunately, for the U.S., it ended like a Hollywood action movie, but the ordeal continues for numerous other hostages being held for ransom on other ships. Who’s going to rescue them?

I first heard of the growing problem of Somalian piracy last fall. My initial reaction was to make a dumb wisecrack about Johnny Depp and the Pirates of the Caribbean movies but these Somalian pirates are no joke.

This week’s podcast is about the piracy problem. We recorded the episode before the news broke about the American cargo ship and the rescue of its captain, so you won’t hear any mention of that news story in this podcast. But there are still plenty of interesting stats and historical context provided which explain what forces created the Somalian pirates and why they do what they do.

¡Piratas! transcript: Spanish text with English translation of key words and phrases used in the conversation. $2.50 Click on “Buy Now” button to purchase and download.

Photo of pirate by Giorgio Fochesato, used under license from iStockPhoto.com

• Why are young Somalian men turning to piracy?
• How much money does a Somalian pirate make?
• What exactly does a pirate spend his cut of the ransom money on?

Get the answers to these questions and more in this podcast.

(P.S. Based on the accent and a very obvious clue given in the podcast, can you guess where my friend Eugenio is from?)

¡Piratas! transcript: Spanish text with English translation of key words and phrases used in the conversation. $2.50 Click “Buy Now” button to purchase and download.

Romance Sonambulo

Verde que te quiero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar
y el caballo en la montaña.
Con la sombra en la cintura
ella sueña en su baranda,
verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Verde que te quiero verde.
Bajo la luna gitana,
las cosas la están mirando
y ella no puede mirarlas.

Verde que te quiero verde.
Grandes estrellas de escarcha
vienen con el pez de sombra
que abre el camino del alba.
La higuera frota su viento
con la lija de sus ramas,
y el monte, gato garduño,
eriza sus pitas agrias.
¿Pero quién vendra? ¿Y por dónde…?
Ella sigue en su baranda,
Verde came, pelo verde,
soñando en la mar amarga.

–Compadre, quiero cambiar
mi caballo por su casa,
mi montura por su espejo,
mi cuchillo per su manta.
Compadre, vengo sangrando,
desde los puertos de Cabra.
–Si yo pudiera, mocito,
este trato se cerraba.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
ni mi casa es ya mi casa.
–Compadre, quiero morir
decentemente en mi cama.
De acero, si puede ser,
con las sábanas de holanda.
¿No ves la herida que tengo
desde el pecho a la garganta?
–Trescientas rosas morenas
lleva tu pechera blanca.
Tu sangre rezuma y huele
alrededor de tu faja.
Pero yo ya no soy yo,
ni mi casa es ya mi casa.

–Dejadme subir al menos
hasta las altas barandas;
¡dejadme subir!, dejadme,
hasta las verdes barandas.
Barandales de la luna
por donde retumba el agua.

Ya suben los dos compadres
hacia las altas barandas.
Dejando un rastro de sangre.
Dejando un rastro de lágrimas.
Temblaban en los tejados
farolillos de hojalata.
Mil panderos de cristal
herían la madrugada.

Verde que te quiero verde,
verde viento, verdes ramas.
Los dos compadres subieron.
El largo viento dejaba
en la boca un raro gusto
de hiel, de menta y de albahaca.
¡Compadre! ¿Donde está, díme?
¿Donde está tu niña amarga?
¡Cuántas veces te esperó!
¡Cuántas veces te esperara,
cara fresca, negro pelo,
en esta verde baranda!

Sobre el rostro del aljibe
se mecía la gitana.
Verde carne, pelo verde,
con ojos de fría plata.
Un carámbano de luna
la sostiene sobre el agua.
La noche se puso íntima
como una pequeña plaza.
Guardias civiles borrachos
en la puerta golpeaban.
Verde que te qinero verde.
Verde viento. Verdes ramas.
El barco sobre la mar.
Y el caballo en la montaña.

“It’s not easy being green.” - Kermit the Frog

In English green is a color that generally has positive connotations. In Anglo culture green is generally associated with money or with nature. The same is true in Spanish culture. However, in Spanish verde is a color that frequently has negative or less than positive associations. If any of you reading this know the reason why the color verde leads such a hard knock life in Spanish, please share it with us below in the comments section. In the meantime consider some of the idiomatic Spanish expressions that use verde.

un chiste verde: a dirty joke

un verde canalla: a dirty, rotten scoundrel

un viejo verde: a dirty old man, a pervert

una película o un libro con escenas verdes: a racy (i.e. erotic) movie or book

un perro verde: a weirdo

estar verde: to be green in the literal sense (unripe) and figurative sense (inexperienced).

estar verde de envidia: to be green with envy. I’ve seen this phrase in Spanish but think it would be more common to use the adjective muerto instead of verde in that phrase. Estar muerto de envidia.

poner verde a alguien: to tell somebody off or to talk negatively about somebody behind their back.

a buenas horas mangas verdes: This is an idiomatic expression that is difficult to come up with an exact equivalent in English. Closest I can think of is “too little, too late.” General idea of the Spanish expression is to show exasperation when something happens too late to be of any use.

For example, Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have a long-term relationship. Piggy wants to get married and gives Kermit an ultimatum – “Marry me or else.” Kermit doesn’t believe his porcine pareja will really leave him, so he does nothing until Piggy moves out. Devastated, Kermit finally buys Piggy a ring and proposes. But Piggy is unmoved and says “a buenas horas mangas verdes,” which essentially means “nice gesture, but it’s meaningless at this point because it has come too late.”

This Spanish expression reportedly dates back to the 15th-century and the Reyes Católicos and a special military unit they had to respond to emergencies. The sleeves of the uniform of this military corps were green. However, the group developed a reputation for always arriving late and being generally unreliable, never around when the people really needed them in an emergency. Thus the expression a buenas horas mangas verdes was born.

In present-day Spain, the Guardia Civil wears green uniforms but I don’t know whether or not this law enforcement agency shares the same reputation for unreliablity and lack of punctuality as its 15th-century predecessor.

Photos from the “Kermit Series” by Andy

(Special thanks to Andy for giving me permission to reprint his delightful Kermit photos on this blog. Photos cannot be copied or reproduced without his permission.)