Volare

Most of Us Feel This Way

2006-05-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

Most of us feel this way about a stupid commercial!!! Personally, I can not stand it. It also has become main stream in our culture. I hear it at least one time a day.

Bambino

2006-05-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

Just about a week ago I get a call on Skype. It is my friends Johannes & Sabrina from Barcelona. Saying "Hey, we got a picture we want to send you!!!" I say OK send away" So next thing you know I open the file and it is a picture of a sonogram. I am like WTF!!! You know how that happened don't ya!!! Just kidding. Congratulations

Adventure of a Lifetime

2006-05-15T16:21:00.000-07:00

If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, TRY THIS.

Enter Mexico illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense. Once there, demand that the local Mexican government provide free medical care for you and your entire family. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc. Procreate abundantly. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behavior with, "It is a cultural thing. You would not understand." Keep your American identity strong. Fly Old Glory from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window or on your car bumper. Speak only English at home and in public and insist that your children do likewise. Demand classes on American culture in the Mexican school system. Demand a local Mexican driver's license. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorized, illegal, presence in Mexico Drive around with no liability insurance and ignore local traffic laws.Insist that local Mexican law enforcement teach English to all its officers.

Good luck, you’ll be demanding for the rest of time or soon be dead. It will not happen in Mexico or any other country in the world EXCEPT right here in the United States. Land of the naive and bleeding hearts!!!

If you agree, pass it on. If you don't, go ahead and try the above in Mexico. Good Luck with That!!!

Unknown Author

"The above passage does not accurately reflect my views but yet I did choose to pass this on because some of it was funny as shit!!!"

Dirk & Paula Engagement

2006-05-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Dirk (Diggler for those of you who have watched Boogie Nights)& Paula on your engagement!!! I hope Paula knows what she is getting into.

Man, another single young lad off to wedded bliss. WTF Over!!! Anyway , I have created a countdown timer for you based on a wedding date of 1 May 2007 at 12:00 PM. Let me know the exact date and time so as to get an accurate countdown of your demise. Just fucking with ya, it's all good. Besides this gives me a good reason to plan a bachelor party and operate the Margarita machine!!! The Duke Lacrosse team will have nothing on this little swarae!!!

Again Congratulations!!!

Canada TV Comercials I

2006-05-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

This little jewel was sent to me by Brecka at work!!! Clearly a person with impeccable tastes, who understands that I collect these funny commercials and post them online. Thanks Brecka!!!

Pilot Stories I

2006-04-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

I just got this email from my friend Chris (Marine Corps Pilot). So enjoy!!!

Note: For those that don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 1960's and still the fastest airplane. In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes: "I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace. Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope. I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed."90 knots" Center replied. Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout." There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty." Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater. It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?" There was a longer than normal pause.... "Aspen , I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who don't know) No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.
In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft). The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked, "How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet? The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.
The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table. The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign "broomstick one". And they say the Army has no sense of humor!
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a MD80 landed. The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with: "I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down. "Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?

Goodbye To a Cool Friend II

2006-04-26T02:30:00.000-07:00

Well, It has come time to say goodbye to another friend. Goodbye James. Good riddance!!! Not really!!! I wish you all the good luck in Macau (Hong Kong). Just remember it's not where you work it the adventure. Now you can try your english accent out on the girls there. Maybe it will work like it did here.

Goodby To a Cool Friend I

2006-04-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

Fuckers, Fuckers, Fuckers!!! I bet you miss hearing that when you come in from a trip. It's about time I got around to saying goodbye. Well, we miss ya around the crash pad. There is nobody to make us individual pizzas with Mexican hot sauce. We will have to send for the recipe. I hope all is well. Now what do we do? I have nobody to go to Old Chicago with or someone to drink beer and bitch about work with. WTF all the fun is gone. Everything else is still the same old shit around her. I made captain and go to class on 2 July. Anyway, tell the wife I will try to make it out before I go to class. Buy the way the crash pad has gone Left-Wing Liberal. We need another conservative Right-Winger to put the place back to center. All we got is Bornholeo!!! And you know you can't talk politics with Jeremy!!! Good luck at the new job, and see ya soon.

European TV Commercials II

2006-04-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

Barcelona ES Jan 2006

2006-04-03T19:36:00.000-07:00

San Juan PR Sep 2005

2006-03-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

European TV Commercials I

2006-03-25T07:56:00.000-08:00

Landing LNK-18

2006-03-20T04:30:00.000-08:00

This video was taken sometime last fall landing on runway 18 in Lincoln, Nebraska.

It has been said the picture of Cap’n Crunch resembles our chief pilot. I assure you, this was not case for posting this video nor was it any way detailing my captain’s abilities landing a jet in a crosswind. “CRUNCH” It merely points out our crew meal we had for breakfast which was supplied by our company. Never, too much sugar for your hard working airline pilots. Whooo Hooo they went all out again!!! In all fairness Cap’n Crunch rocks!!!

Landing YYZ-24R

2006-03-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

This video was taken three days after the crash of Air France on the parallel runway 24L at Toronto Pearson International Airport (YYZ) in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada in much better weather conditions.

Air France Flight 358 is a passenger flight originating from Charles de Gaulle Airport (CDG) Terminal 2F in Paris, France, arriving at Toronto Pearson International Airport (YYZ) Terminal 3 in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada. Currently, It is scheduled to leave CDG at 1:15 p.m. CEST (1115 UTC), and arrive at YYZ at 3:30 p.m. EDT (1935 UTC). This actual flight left at 11:53UTC from CDG airport, and touched down in Toronto at 20:01UTC.

On August 2, 2005, Flight 358 burst into flames after skidding off the end of runway 24L-06R by about 200 meters into a nearby shallow ravine after landing at Toronto Pearson at 4:03 p.m. EDT. The aircraft, an Airbus A340-313X had 309 people aboard (297 passengers and 12 crew), all of whom survived with no life-threatening injuries.

Subsequent flights to Toronto were diverted to other Canadian airports in Ottawa, London, Hamilton, Montreal, and Winnipeg, as well as Syracuse Hancock International Airport in Syracuse, New York, USA. Flights from Vancouver were turned back. Some 540 flights were cancelled.

Well I guess I could not post this without adding my two cents. WTF, at least I don't have to go visit the chief pilot and grab my ankels!!!