Vomit Comet https://www.vomitcomet.org/ Of all the sites on the internet, this is one. Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:45:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 Joe Bowen Signs Off https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/16/joe-bowen-signs-off/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/16/joe-bowen-signs-off/#respond Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:44:30 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73183 I missed last night’s Leafs season finale with the Senators. Judging by how it went, I think the Leafs did, too. It was a meaningless game in pretty much every respect. Toronto was long ago eliminated from the playoffs and the Sens already knew who they’d be matched up against, so everybody was just playing …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/16/joe-bowen-signs-off/feed/ 0 The Incredible Dr. Pole https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/15/the-incredible-dr-pole/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/15/the-incredible-dr-pole/#respond Wed, 15 Apr 2026 13:29:29 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73181 Pretty sure I emptied the old pun cannon on the title, so I’ll just go ahead and leave this here. Sunderland man ‘watched porn as he masturbated over captured seagull’ Lesley Burgess, prosecuting, told the court Lee chased one bird before picking up a smaller gull – and was caught on CCTV looking at his …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/15/the-incredible-dr-pole/feed/ 0 Right In The What? https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/13/right-in-the-what/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/13/right-in-the-what/#comments Mon, 13 Apr 2026 21:34:37 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73178 Oh buddy. The internet is going to give it to you hard for this one. the correct answer, by the way, is “This is the best!”

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/13/right-in-the-what/feed/ 1 Wellness Geese https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/13/wellness-geese/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/13/wellness-geese/#comments Mon, 13 Apr 2026 18:01:23 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73176 Came across this while helping Carin find some stuff for her post about the Waddleloo Canada goose map and thought it was funny.

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/13/wellness-geese/feed/ 1 We Are Gathered Here Today To Unite These Two People In Holy Mackinaw! https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/we-are-gathered-here-today-to-unite-these-two-people-in-holy-mackinaw/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/we-are-gathered-here-today-to-unite-these-two-people-in-holy-mackinaw/#comments Mon, 13 Apr 2026 03:35:40 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73172 I know Joe Bowen doesn’t call Spitfires games, but come on! It was right there! It’s part of the reason I’ve wanted to write about this. I heard about this in January and thought it was cute, but because life is what it is, here we are talking about it in April. I still think …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/we-are-gathered-here-today-to-unite-these-two-people-in-holy-mackinaw/feed/ 2 🎶 Honk Honk Honk Honk WaddleLoo: Know Where The Geese Are and Have a Clue. 🎶 https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/honk-honk-honk-honk-waddleloo-know-where-the-geese-are-and-have-a-clue/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/honk-honk-honk-honk-waddleloo-know-where-the-geese-are-and-have-a-clue/#comments Sun, 12 Apr 2026 21:34:25 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73168 Man, I knew the geese were vicious as heck. I had heard lots of stories about geese attacking folks for their croissants near the University of Waterloo campus, and children getting chased by geese outside the Catalyst building where I work, among other stories. I know in the case of the children, their parents started …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/honk-honk-honk-honk-waddleloo-know-where-the-geese-are-and-have-a-clue/feed/ 1 There Really Ought To Be A Light There https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/there-really-ought-to-be-a-light-there/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/there-really-ought-to-be-a-light-there/#respond Sun, 12 Apr 2026 14:09:40 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73165 If you’re going to spend your night out doing classic criminal things like driving with a license you don’t have while wearing borrowed pants and mysteriously meth-filled socks, for the love of god man, don’t stop at the imaginary stop sign! This goes double if the police are already in the area. Police located methamphetamine …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/12/there-really-ought-to-be-a-light-there/feed/ 0 Wen You Hear A Whistle, Moooooooooooooove! https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/11/wen-you-hear-a-whistle-moooooooooooooove/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/11/wen-you-hear-a-whistle-moooooooooooooove/#respond Sat, 11 Apr 2026 14:12:48 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73160 We don’t get good train stories very often anymore, but here’s one. It’s obviously not good for everyone, but you know. A pensioner was killed in a freak accident when he was struck by a flying cow launched 100ft into the air by an express train. Shivdayal Sharma, 82, was reportedly urinating next to a …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/11/wen-you-hear-a-whistle-moooooooooooooove/feed/ 0 If We’re Going To Ban Books… https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/11/if-were-going-to-ban-books/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/11/if-were-going-to-ban-books/#respond Sat, 11 Apr 2026 13:50:22 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73158 I know where we should start. SMUTTY BOOKS HAVE NO PLACE IN OUR SCHOOLS. IT’S TIME TO BAN THE BIBLE Members of the school board, I’m here to voice my outrage about a disgusting book I found in my child’s backpack. The book contained graphic violence, prostitution, sodomy, and perhaps worst of all, a woke …

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]]> https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/04/11/if-were-going-to-ban-books/feed/ 0 What? You Were A Children? https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/03/30/what-you-were-a-children/ https://www.vomitcomet.org/2026/03/30/what-you-were-a-children/#comments Mon, 30 Mar 2026 21:42:25 +0000 https://www.vomitcomet.org/?p=73150 Toddler news: Mom has her own mom, and her name is Grandma I remember how mind blowing it was for me when I started figuring this stuff out, and ever since I’ve always had fun watching the other kids in my life put it together. This is pretty much exactly how it goes, other than …

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