… It has been a few weeks since that point. We have a contract on a house and we are just waiting for the financing to work out.

… I "broke" twitter. I was getting into the swing of using it, I turned it off for a few days when I was really busy, and it has never turned back on. I can’t figure out why.

… I joined M. Besides being a "clean version of MySpace", it is a group of people who seem to think the way I’ve been thinking lately. It is a group of Super Heroes trying to save the universe.

… I am reading through the book of Acts with a group of guys on Tuesday Mornings. It is pretty slow going right now, but I have found it interesting how as my job and perspective have changed, I am picking up so many new things I never noticed before. Very good stuff.

… On Alex’s blog the other day he posted about the 4 turnings. I really dig this idea, but one of the things I started thinking was how circular and non-linear our faith really is. We have taught the gospel as a linear progression from no knowledge of God to fully committed, yet in my life, I find myself turning back through the process and recommitting in different ways and at different levels. This really deserves a lot more time and thought, but read Alex’s post and comments.

… My boss is gone this week. I have a couple guys who are coming in to help this week. They have all worked for Garden Music before, but my current regular staff is all out of town. Should be a crazy week.

… Next week I head to camp. Seventh, Eighth and Ninth graders. It is going to be awesome. I have not had the free time this year the way I have in the past to think through all of this as well as I would have liked, but I have an awesome staff for this week. I am hoping to take pictures through the week and keep everyone updated.

… I am still not certain where God is going to land me. Some days I think I will end up back on staff with New Horizons. Some days I think God might be preparing me for something different than the typical church. Some days I am happy working for the music store. Other days I think that the music store is the right idea, but maybe God has some other business in mind for me and the music store was just a good training ground. And then the old idea of teaching keeps coming back. Of course a lot of the confusion comes from the adventurer part of me that love to just buy and RV and travel the country.

Anyways… hopefully that catches you up. It really serves more as a brain dump for me. The month of July is going to be overwhelming. I am planning to be a better blogger than I was in June. I August we’ll have a huge bash at the new house. The first of many great parties to come.

——-
This post cross-posted at ChrisMarsden.com and in Voxtropolis, the city of voices. I wrote it sitting on the couch at House Blend Cafe.

M is connections beyond time and space.

M is a pooling of super hero resources to transform the world we are in.

M is for you.

Sign up now, and don’t forget to add me as your friend.

It is inevitable that at some point I will fail again. And yet I can not allow the possibility of failure to keep me from risking. Without risk, there will be no success. And yet, we can not live on the promise of future glory.

I need to live today. Success or failure, today is what we are given. We must make the most of it.

But wouldn’t you know it. A few minutes later I sit down at a table next to Alex to drink my coffee and check my email and Alex introduces me to this guy Mike. "You wouldn’t happen to be Mike Harris, would you?"

Yep. Out of 1800 people, I sat down with Mike Harris.

Unfortunately, I didn’t really get the chance to talk with him much, but I still find it really strange.

I had another strange connection experience involving twitter while I was in LA. You can read about it here.

THE CAB RIDE

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80’s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It’s nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you’re such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It’s not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don’t mind," she said. "I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don’t have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don’t have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she’d ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I’m tired. Let’s go now"

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn’t pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don’t think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT ‘YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

You won’t get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people.

But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.

Check out ChrisMarsden.com.

And for those of you waiting for updates… I am posting (a little) over at chrismarsden.com. I am also twittering some of my thoughts and activities.

See you all soon.

Tags: origins, mosaic

So I bought my ticket, got my plane tickets lined up, and made plans.

Well it snuck up on me and now I leave today. I am really not sure what to expect. Not sure what to expect of the conference or what God might have in store for me. He continues to stretch me and I am excited to see how He is going to use the week to stretch me further.

I am looking forward to the long flight and the chance to get some stuff done. Expect a bunch of posts over the next few days, both stuff I’ve been meaning to write that I am hoping to catch up on, and stuff from Origins.

See you in LA.

Cross posted at chrismarsden.com and cruciformity.voxtropolis.com

It is still me doing great things, only I don’t have to do all the work. God is going to do it through me.

But this morning I realized that It is not even God doing great things through me. It is God doing great things and I get to be a small part of that plan.

Think for a minute about Gideon. What exactly did he do? I have referenced Gideon for years about a nobody doing incredible things for God, but really he did nothing. He rounded up the troops and obeyed, but God did all the work, and Gideon got to be a part of it.

It really is the same thing, I suppose, but the change in perspective is important in my understanding of my place in the world. If I don’t recognize that God is doing amazing things, with or without me, than I am likely to begin to believe that I am more important than I really am.

So here’s to God doing amazing things. And here’s hoping I get to be a part of them.

I helped House Blend out at the Exponential Conference Yesterday.

I have way too much to get done at work.

I’m tired.

Another one of those posting days where I just let everyone know I am still alive.

Still thinking about the form of "church" and how the form affects the function. Should the form be defined by the function or have we (maybe unconsciously) altered the function because of the form we have inherited?

How do you drink your coffee?

I am a very diverse coffee drinker (right now I am finishing a Mocha Latte). Usually I prefer a smooth bold world bean black. That is my default. I walk into a new coffee shop, look at their coffees, and order the biggest black coffee I can get my hands on.

In college, I would French press some dark coffee, froth some milk, and pour a couple of huge lattes for my wife and I before we would head to class. It was partly a survival mechanism, trying to stay awake through a horribly boring lecturing, but there was something comforting about sipping a fresh latte.

The comfort, I think, comes from the familiarity of the routine. At work I regularly take a break from what I am doing, head to the back, refill my mug, and take a big sip. The coffee is great, the caffeine helps ward off the exhaustion, but there is something relaxing in simply having the coffee in my hand.

So what’s the point? The point, I think, is there is comfort in ritual and routine. We all like adventure. We all like something new and exciting, but there is a certain level of comfort in knowing what to expect.

I’ve talked a lot lately about my frustrations with Church, but for many people, and occasionally my own self, there is a lot of comfort in the very thing that frustrates me. The ritual is comforting. The liturgy is familiar and so we find comfort in the service.

The question, I guess, that comes next in this, is should we comforted? And my short answer is sometimes. Sometimes we need that liturgy and ritual and comfort. We need to listen to some music that makes us feel connected with God. But regularly…

We are back to the point where I have more questions than answers. I have a hard time separating my experience in churches with the conversations I am having about what the Church should look like. Everytime I start to have a thought about the way the Church could/should look like in the "real world", some programmed church thought pops into my head.

Am I fighting too hard? Am I making change for the sake of change? How did Paul feel as he left Judaism for Christianity? Peter struggled with his traditions and Jewish beliefs in contrast with his new faith in Christ, so why I am surprised that I struggle with my traditions?

Still too many questions. The pertinent one for today… Should we attempt to maintain traditions and liturgy because they are comforting or is the fact that they are comforting all the more reason to kill them off? Are we called to a comfortable "christian" life or are we called to a radical existence of following Jesus?

Any thoughts?

I updated my feed reader today with some blogs that I forget to check by hand but who I actually want to keep up with. I need to redo my Home website soon, but need a few hours to dedicate to that goal.

I am leaving in less than two weeks for Origins.

I am helping House Blend out at the National New Church Conference next week.

I am meeting a ton of people and learning new things everyday.

I’m tired.

There is so much I want to write about. So much that is being brought to the table that needs to be torn about and applied to my particular situation. The world is changing. Church is/should be changing. Things do not work the way they once did. I’m having a hard time keeping up with it all. I need answers.

A lot of people have been posting questions on their blogs the last few days. I have a ton. Just no time to post them and less time to actually dig into what the answers might be.

Tomorrow the whole family is heading to House Blend for breakfast together. I still won’t have blogged anything, but I’d have slowed down and relaxed a bit, and spent some time with the family.

Did I mention I was tired? I’m heading to work now and I feel like I am already ready to head home.

In happier news, the IRS accepted our return and we should be getting our direct deposit soon.

Does the rapid pace of topic shifting in this post make you feel like you are listening to an overheard couple of teenage girls talking about boys. My head hurts that bad.

Well… of to work. I’m hoping to perfect the merger of offline and online presence soon and my online life will seem less like these bursts into the digital world and more like an extension of my "real life".

Thanks for listening. Enjoy a good cup of coffee and relax and have a better day than I am planning. And if things aren’t too crazy, I will grab a cup of coffee, take my own advice, and chat with the boss a little.

The world is changing… try to keep up.

One thing I like/don’t like about TurboTax is the counter on the left that tells you what your return is going to be. At one point it said I would be getting back around $3000. At another point it said I owed $1500. It ended up as a return and it takes care of some bills I was worried about, but that fluctuation makes it feel more like gambling and less like a precise science.

Anyways… tons I want to post, but taxes have been on my mind and it has been a busy week. If you haven’t checked out the pics over at houseblendcafe.voxtropolis.com, you should. Also, there is video over at the voxtropolis homepage and also in the cafe. (Including video of me). Thanks Alex for shooting the video for that.

Friday, April 27th 2007

7:00 PM

House Blend Cafe
Ocoee, FL 34761

When we make a translation of scripture (or really of any book), the best translations always come from going back to the source material. If you want to make an accurate translation of the New Testament, you should be doing it from the Greek, not the Latin, German, KJV, or anything else. Let’s go back to the original and start from there.

BUT… when we make a "translation" of "church" into a new culture, we tend to start with what we have and what we are used to. We’ve done this in the missions field over the years, we’ve done this as northerners retire to the south, and we’ve actually done it during major periods of Church reformation.

As the Church has recognized the need for change over the years, we have made changes (sometimes major changes) to doctrine and liturgy, but we have continued to keep the church in roughly the same box it has had since Constantine. We have church buildings, scheduled services, an orator speaking at an audience, etc…

We may have made the building cooler, we may have scheduled more convenient meeting times, we may have adopted less churchy language and added video and drama, but we are still modeling Constantine’s church.

Just a quick thought… I wish I had answers… please share your insights as The Church struggles to become who God intended it to be…

Turns out the set up to distribute food was a lot different than what we were imagining, so we "punted" (David’s phrase), put communion back in the car and helped load up cars with food that was being given out.

Chinese food for lunch (a recent tradition), a long nap, easter eggs and a movie with my girls. All in all… a great day.

Of course…

The whole strangeness of heading to the high school instead of to second service got me thinking again about what Church is really all about. And family too. We get so caught up in doing things with family on holidays… and we get trapped into having to go to "church". Shouldn’t it be more?

I know… this is just the same thought I keep hitting on, but really… shouldn’t we be doing more than showing up for an hour on Sunday?

Yesterday I came across several posts that all seem to hit on this very issue. This whole idea that we have reduced our faith to a weekly gathering. And before anyone freaks and gives the obvious "Sunday School" answer, I know that lots of christians do more than just show up on Sunday. BUT… the way we structure our services, programs, bulletins, etc… certainly give the impression that what is important is Sunday and that our role is to attend.

The People formerly known as the Congregation

The first thing I stumbled across was this piece by Bill Kninnon.

Let me introduce you to The People formerly known as The Congregation. There are millions of us.

We are people - flesh and blood - image bearers of the Creator - eikons, if you will. We are not numbers.

We are the eikons who once sat in the uncomfortable pews or plush theatre seating of your preaching venues. We sat passively while you proof-texted your way through 3, 4, 5 or no point sermons - attempting to tell us how you and your reading of The Bible had a plan for our lives.

Wow… He starts the whole thing off with a quote from a similar piece that talks about people no longer being just the audience but also content creators. And of course, the implication is that we are not just the audience in church, either, but capable and responsible to BE the church.

Not Just Sunday

Scott Williams hit next with two quick posts about Sunday Morning Worship being a barrier to Spiritual growth (1) (2).

Dallas Willard, author of books about Christian spiritual formation, writes, "We must flatly say that one of the greatest contemporary barriers to meaningful spiritual formation in Christlikeness is overconfidence in the spiritual efficacy of ‘regular church services,’ of whatever kind they may be. Though they are vital, they are not enough. It is that simple."

PodCAMP

Jon Swanson actually hit this one pretty well this morning, but yesterday Chris Brogan had a piece about the Spirit of PodCamp. PodCamp is an unConference on New Media. One of their core values is that the conference is the attendees. Therefore…

Forget EVERYTHING you read that makes you think otherwise. All PodCamps, EVERY PodCamp is your event. There are people working their heads off to organize this for you, to help make all the pieces line up. They’re missing sleep. They’re not getting paid. They are begging, borrowing, and reaching out in every direction to make this happen. But don’t you think for a minute that YOU aren’t the center of the event.

But just like Spider-Man, “with great power comes great responsibility.� Every spilled drink is YOUR job to pick up. Every lost soul in a hallway is YOUR duty to bring to the right place. Every session that runs a little late is because YOU and the participants let it go late (which isn’t nice to the next, incoming session). You create and control everything.

Jon said this, this morning…

So I started thinking about church. Too often, when people talk about the church, as in, “that’s awful, the church should do something about that�, what is meant is, “the paid staff should do something about that.� But the more I am reading and thinking and praying these days, I am increasingly concerned that if we are depending on the paid staff to be the church, then at least one church of which I am part of the paid staff is in trouble.

I can’t be the church. I don’t want to be the church. We’d be a really bad and limited and boring and ineffective and unbalanced organism if I was the church. Just like a PodCamp, EVERYONE is the church.

The church is not the staff, the institution, the treasurer, or even the volunteers. Ultimately, of course, it is bigger even than just one congregation, but for the sake of this discussion lets talk about just one congregation. The church is everyone who shows up. One of the things PodCamp stresses is that the nobody who hasn’t started yet is just as important and valuable as the A-list problogger.

So What Should It Look Like?

I have no idea. I’ve got glimpses and I am developing some core values kind of lists. I am getting a better idea of what I think needs to be there and what might be optional.

Lately, my life has felt like church 24/7 and "church" has felt pretty routine. (This past Sunday being an exception, but I was only there for one service and God used the scripture passage to speak to me in a way that was totally not what the Sermon was about).

Any thoughts? Any Insights? I’m still struggling along this path, knowing that God is leading and He has a plan, but completely uncertain of what that might be.

The disciples spent a ton of time with Jesus. Some of that time is spent listening to him teach. Some is spent eating with him or attending a party. Some is spent traveling. Some is spent conversing. Some is spent arguing who will sit where and who will be first. Some is spent witnessing miracles.

But this story ends up a little different. It starts the same. Jesus sends them to get this donkey and then they are traveling into Jerusalem. Kind of an ordinary day. Only then they start shouting praises. And the people around them start shouting praises.

Some days, my life with Jesus feels like an ordinary day. Some days, I am even a bit selfish and am wondering where I fit in and when my success is going to happen. But some days, I can’t help but sing. The frustrations, the bitterness, the lack of understanding… it fades away and I can’t help but sing.

Some days, life with Jesus feels normal. And some days it is so exciting. Some days are hard. Some days are selfish. But some days are wow. I think the reality is, all the days with Jesus are wow, we just get caught up in the everyday and miss what Jesus is doing around us. But some days, I can’t help but sing.

So Josh, myself, and 7 or 8 people I had never met before started praying. It was loud around us; the CD player was still running and Time was cleaning up. But we prayed. We prayed for Sarah to turn to God and away from the distractions Satan was throwing at her.

I don’t know Sarah, and other than Josh, I don’t know anyone else who was involved in that prayer last night. I don’t know where they go to church, or if they even do. I don’t know their current denominational affiliation or their history or testimony. But for a brief period last night, none of that mattered. All that mattered was we were all members of The Church and we were praying for Sarah. We were sharing Christ’s love.

I still don’t know what "church" should look like, but I am beginning to get glimpses. I must say. It is very cool.

Tags: emerging church, community, fellowship, prayer

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here’s how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool!

Opening Credits:
Irene (Toby Mac)

Waking Up:
Hawkmoon 269 (U2)

First Day At School:
Never A Time (Genesis)

Falling In Love:
Bag Lady (Audio Adrenaline)

Fight Song:
Cartoon Network (KJ-52)

Breaking Up:
Come Ye Sinners (Todd Agnew)

Prom:
Amalgamate (Five Iron Frenzy)

Life:
Sometimes (A Bittersweet Memory)

Mental Breakdown:
Glorious (Chris Tomlin)

Driving:
While the Nations Rage (Rich Mullins)

Flashback:
Bouncing Off The Ceiling (A Ragamuffin Band)

Getting Back Together:
On the Fritz (Steve Taylor)

Wedding:
I’ll Lead You Home (Michael W. Smith)

Birth of Child:
Something She Said (Bela Fleck & the Flecktones)

Final Battle:
World Wide Suicide (Pearl Jam)

Death Scene:
The Long Black Veil (Johnny Cash)

Funeral Song:
Don’t Let The Fire Die (Steven Curtis Chapman)

Remembrance Song:
Invincible (Ok Go)

End Credits:
Southern Cross (Jimmy Buffett)

OK… I admit. I couldn’t help but cheat. Part of it is I have so much music, that I am constantly hitting skip on my iPod to get stuff I like. I should probably just delete the stuff I don’t ever listen to (Play count 0, Skip count 30), but I am an archiver. My house is cluttered, therefore my iTunes is cluttered.

Also, the "artist" in my had to orchestrate the soundtrack. Worldwide Suicide can’t be the birth song.

So give it a shot. Either follow the directions, or be a hollywood Soundtrack creator.

"The traditional approach to space exploration has been to carry all the fuel you need, and to carry everybody back in case of emergency. But to prime the pump that will take us beyond, boldness is required: the first expeditionary team must travel to the Moon without the fuel to come back, and produce it there. It can be done in 7 years, and I intend to lead that expedition. There was a time when people did bold things to open new frontiers. We have collectively forgotten that. Now we are at a time when boldness is required again." — Explorer Bill Stone (ht Tony Sheng)

I came across this quote a few weeks ago. About the same time, I rediscovered the tagline at the International Mentoring Network’s website.

HEROES WANTED: For a quest to save the Universe one planet at a time… Safe return doubtful.

Combine all that with the quote from Dean’s site and some of my recurring thoughts from that last two or three years and I am left with the conclusion that, on the whole, Christians are way too pansy (myself included).

"There was a time when people did bold things…"

I’m not saying that there aren’t Christians doing bold things in the world. I should probably restate my earlier comment and say that Western Christians or perhaps American Christians have become pansy. There are plenty of Christians out in the world who have staked their lives on the claims of the gospel. In America, we worry about the color of the carpet, pews vs. chairs, what kind of music, and we’ll drive all the way across town to go to a church that meets our needs.

In a recent conversation with a friend, he was telling me about a discipleship class that he has led a few times. Each time he has led it, there have been a handful of people who, once discovering what it means to be a disciple, a follower of Christ, decided that they weren’t really disciples. However, they believed in Jesus and so they insisted, "there must be another option."

The reality is we are either following Christ or we are not. Christ was not timid in his approach. He contradicted the established religious status quo. He left comfort and safety and went where he needed to go, without regard to home or bed.

Peter, John, Paul, Stephen and many other early disciples put it all on the line. They were arrested, stoned, beaten, persecuted, threatened, and yet still they preached. Still they traveled. Still they went out, with no concern for how they were getting back.

"Now we are at a time when boldness is required again."

The world is changing. The "traditional church" needs to make some changes if it is going to continue to reach people. BUT… there needs to be more than just the traditional church making a few style changes. There needs to be some bold moves into new territories to reach those the traditional church can never reach.

That, I think, is the journey God has got me on right now. The problem is, I still don’t know what it looks like. I don’t know where I am going. And worse yet, I don’t know the way back, or even if there is one.

One of the things I really like about Stone, he is not just an explorer, but an inventor. Except he is not just inventing random things, he is inventing things that aid his explorations. He has one purpose and one passion and he pursues it with everything he has.

I think this journey needs to be a bit like that. A few steps forward, study into how to overcome a problem, a few more steps forward. When will I "arrive"? How will I get back? Boldness is required… I can’t worry about the details.

Tags: Bill Stone, exploration, emerging church, evangelism

Had coffee with Mark Marsden this morning and he told me he thought my life was like Lost. Said he couldn’t wait to here what God was doing next.

Pretty cool, in a way, but to be honest, I feel like things are really dragging lately. One of the things we talked about this morning was the fact that part of me wanted big results and quick. But… as I look at what an incarnational approach to ministry (and life as a Christ Follower) is all about, I think maybe it will end up much smaller than I am hoping and it might take a lot longer than I want.

I could be wrong.

Of course, I could be dead right. Or more than likely, it will look so much different than what I am used to looking at that I won’t even recognize “success” when I see it.

For me, for right now, I have to define success as continuing to follow God. It can’t be about anything else, otherwise I will lose the focus and the point of all that I am doing.

So apparantly, my life is like Lost. Hopefully, though, there will be some real answers at some point, and not just well scripted cliff hanger after cliff hanger.

10 Things I should be posting next week (either here or at ChrisMarsden.com)…

1. A review of In A Pit With A Lion. (Great Book)
2. Pictures from breakfast out with my daughter.
3. Pictures and details of my new Electric Guitar.
4. A review of a great new coffee mug I got.
5. What I thought of 300. (should be seeing tomorrow night).
6. A review of my new razor.
7. A deep thought on the church.
8. An update on life.
9. Sharing how God has blessed me in spite of the insanity.
10. Some news about coffee.

I might write some other things next week as well. The only things I have written in the last week have been in my journal. One is the basis for the church thought, the other a poem that woke me up in the middle of the night. It is the first poem I have written since college and it is only one of two that were not a school assignment. Not sure, yet, if I want to share it or not, but I might post that soon too.

Or perhaps, you don’t live nearby physically, but we are journeying along similar paths even though we are separated by thousands of miles. Or maybe we hang at similar places and have similar shared experiences even though we have never met face to face (and maybe never will).

I stumbled across two "Web 2.0" tools today which both deal with location. One was a twitter and google maps mashup that plots your twitter location on a map. Just yesterday I was thinking that what I really want is a simple tool to update what I am doing and where, ideally from my cell phone. With this, I could simply twitter "blogging at L:Churchoffice" and it would put me on the map. It would update my website and those who were interested could subscribe and get that update on their phone or IM client.

The other was a program that let you find people when you travel and notifies you of when people you know are traveling to your town. I see it more for business people who are "networking", but the idea is neat. What if I knew when people online were going to be local and we could get together for coffee?

Anyways… I get a lot of reads on each of my posts and just wondering who everybody was and where they were at. Do you live in Orlando? Do you travel here (and who doesn’t)? Have you recently quit your job to pursue God’s calling on your life? Do you like coffee? Are you tired of the Church as an institution and long to see it living out its faith in the "real world"?

Let me know who you are and "where you are at". For all I know I could be spotting voxtropiltans everyday and not even know it.

The last month has really been a surreal convergence of things I have been thinking with a real world representation. I would have never imagined I would be where I am today a month ago. Looking back, it makes sense, of course. But a month ago I was just frustrated with no idea how to do anything any different than how I was already doing it.

Strange? Coincidence? or God doing amazing things?

The world is changing… try to keep up.

As of this coming Sunday, I will no longer be the "Associate Minister" at New Horizons Christian Church. I am resigning my position with the Church and will be full time at Garden Music Center in Downtown Winter Garden. There are a lot of little things that have led to this decision, and no one thing in particular.

I would like to assign at least part of the blame to Alex, Dean, Mark, & Keith, but really, God was working on me long before I met these guys. I would like to place some of the blame on In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day, but again, it just helped clarify some thinking and forced me to "pull the trigger".

This is a major change in role for me, but as I look at what God has in store, only the details change. God’s purpose for my life is still his purpose for my life, I’ve just clarified the how’s and the why’s a bit.

On the short term we are going to continue to fellowship with New Horizons and continue to engage in ministry with them. On the long term, I am unwilling to make plans for God. He may have us continue to work with New Horizons, He may have us start something new, but still in the area, or He may transplant us to another town, state, or country.

Unlike many church resignations, this moving on is very much a changing in me rather than a need to get away from an unhealthy situation. I still have great hopes for the future of New Horizons Christian Church. I don’t know what my role, if any, will be with this congregation, but I certainly don’t wish any ill will towards them.

As I’ve previously posted, I feel like I am in the midst of a giant connect the dots puzzle. I can’t see what the picture looks like without a whole bunch more dots connected, I feel like I am on dot 3 or 4, and I am beginning to suspect that not all the dots are numbered; that some are in fact distractions and some God is unwilling to reveal until the time is right. That’s cool. I am beginning to learn some patience and in the midst of the chaos, I feel a better reliance on God than at any other point in my Christian life.

As part of the short term "connecting the dots", I am heading to Origins in May. I am also doing a lot of reading. I am still preaching occasionally at New Horizons and am still working on a week at camp. I continue to plan for FCYC and God continues to present opportunities to serve. The official role has changed, the details begin to shift, but His purpose remains constant.

I am excited about being on this journey. I don’t know the destination, or even really the path, but knowing that God is leading lessens the fear. Following God isn’t always safe or simple, but it is certainly exciting.

———
The world is changing… try to keep up.

It’s 11:00, I am just eating dinner, I am worn out, distracted by a few things, and tomorrow is going to be an early, and really long, day.

The next few weeks are going to be slammed. I am not going anywhere and I hope to keep you all updated, but they’ll probably be shorter posts.

As far as writing goes… it looks like I am not the only one with this problem. So, in Jon Swanson style, things I want to write but haven’t gotten around to yet.

1. I Am Tired of Death
2. Maintaining the Institution
3. More Connecting the Dots
4. Youth Pastors Summit
5. Ryan’s Radio Show (and Scott’s)
6. New Ways to "Preach"

Hopefully I will get to all these soon. I may even tackle one off of Jon’s list since we just finished a series on the Bible as a love letter. I hadn’t even thought about the idea that maybe a "love letter" was an outdated concept that people wouldn’t get. The world is changing. Apparently even I need reminding of that sometimes.

And Jon… I love that quote from Willy Wonka. So many great lines from that movie. One liners that had such depth. The new version was amazing, but not the way the original was.

———
The world is changing… try to keep up.

I can’t see how You’re leading me unless You’ve led me here
To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led
And so You’ve been here all along I guess
It’s just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

Rich Mullins from Hard To Get off the The Jesus Record

I am definitely still in the midst of the journey. I still feel lost and I still wonder where, exactly, I might be heading, but I feel lost enough, at this point, to follow the path that God has put in front of me. It is only a few faltering steps at this point, but its movement.

I hope to know more, soon. I long for answers. I long for enough light that I can see where the path is leading, rather than just the knowledge that the path is there. I feel a bit like Abraham (although not as old), stepping out on a journey without any idea where it is going to end.

Keep praying. Keep following. And if you haven’t checked out The Jesus Record by Rich Mullins, you definitely should.

The world is changing… try to keep up.

And I think about the church…

I still don’t know where this thought is going. BUT… the world is changing. So why are we still doing things the same way we have always done them? Even when/where we are embracing modern technologies, we are still utilizing old models and imposing them on the new format.

I’ve never been one for signatures, but as a reminder, mainly to myself, I have decided to start using one…

The world is changing… try to keep up.

Movies…

Finally got to see High School Musical, The DaVinci Code, and Nacho Libre. All were about what I expected and I enjoyed them each, in their own way. I don’t think any of them would make it into my top anything, but they were good. Tonight (maybe) we are going to watch MI 3.

A Slow Saturday…

Saturday I did… nothing. Not literally, but pretty close. I hung out with my girls, played outside for a little bit, hung with some neighbor kids, and relaxed. It was a necessary day after a few really long weeks. I think this is going to be the new routine. Some chores/work in the morning, and then just hanging out.

A Weird Sunday…

Sunday morning went pretty smooth (a nice change). My family, however, were at a funeral in St. Pete.

After church I headed to lunch with a couple that I will be marrying in August, and today was the first day of their premarital counseling. We headed back to my house, went through the book we are working through and they headed home.

I watch a movie, read a chapter out of a new book (Shaping Of Things To Come by Frost and Hirsch), and started working on a new logo design that has been floating around my head.

About that time, my head started hurting, the back pain I had been having was hitting extreme levels, and my stomach started feeling a little unsettled.

After a long night of rather unpleasantness, I took the morning off and am feeling a bit better, but before I started feeling bad, my brain was really clicking…

A Lot of Stuff…

My brain is buzzing with so many different things. Most days I feel like I am going crazy, and yet… it all is beginning to make sense.

Anyways…

It is back to a little reading, a little writing, and then, hopefully, off to work.

I don’t know that that is necessarily true in the Biblical sense, but it seems true enough in my own life. So often, we feel the gentle nudging, the whispering of God, long before the crunch that necessitates change. The problem is, we want answers. We want context to understand what exactly is going on. Sometimes we get it, but often the context is the crunch.

If we had moved when God first started whispering, we would have avoided the crunch. We might not have understood the situation as well, but would have been safe.

I think about Noah and the years of preparation involved in building the Ark. The years of not understanding, and on some level, maybe, even doubting. He finally gets done, gets everyone inside, and waits some more.

Was he wrong? Did he only imagine God’s voice? Maybe God said build a train, not a boat?

And then it happens. A Flood. 40 days and 40 nights of water. And that’s it.

If Noah had waited for understanding, the boat wouldn’t have been ready.If Noah had worried about all the details of what came after, he wouldn’t have begun.

I stumbled across this post the other day about a lady who is attempting to live on half her salary this year. On top of that, she is being forced to live on even less than that. Is this the crunch that has come because she wasn’t listening to the whisper? …or is this right where God wanted her to be? And more pertinent to my own life… What is God whispering that I need to hear?

Sometimes the crunches teach a lot, but they definitely hurt. It would be great to avoid them from time to time because I am listening to the whisper and ahead of the crunch.

Mark Marsden and I at the World Music Jam at House Blend

Dean Sharp and I at House Blend Cafe

Two new friends to share life’s journey with.

I have been thinking a bit about the things that we like to do and the things that take up time that could more easily be done by somebody else, thereby, reducing my stress and allowing me to relax more (and/or focus more). There are a lot of things that we do this with, things we are perfectly capable of doing ourselves, but instead we pass off to someone else and allow them to do (for compensation, of course).

For instance… Every 3 months (or 3000 miles) I pay someone to change the oil in my car. This is something I am very capable of doing, yet I pay someone else. I have also never mowed my own lawn. Granted, I have never lived in a situation where I even had the option of mowing my own yard, but yard work is one of those things we used to always wonder about as we were cruising on the boat watching people mow their yards. Their own boat went unused because their time was absorbed with yard work.

Another example… eating out. I am very capable of cooking my own food. Often times, the food I cook at home is better than what I would have gotten out at a restaurant. Even my morning coffee seems like such a waste of money sometimes.

But all of those things (and many others) seem perfectly normal and culturally acceptable. Nobody thinks twice that I spend money on eating out, changing my oil, or having my yard mowed. So why do I feel guilty and somehow pretentious when I think about the idea of having a housekeeper to take care of some routine chores?

Again… I am not remotely in a position to actually do this, it’s just that my wife and I both hate dishes and laundry. They are time consumers, monotonous, and they are just something I would rather do without.

Maybe it is just me, but I think it is strange that I feel guilty about the idea of ever having the conversation with someone about me having hired a housekeeper. "What?!? are you too good to do your own dishes? Too good to dust and vacuum?" But I don’t think anyone would think twice if I hired the neighbor kid to mow my lawn. Even if I hired a more expensive lawn service, people would just take it in stride. It’s normal.

So where does that leave me? Am I crazy for worrying about the distinction between hiring a yard guy and hiring a housekeeper (especially considering I am not in a position to do either)? Is there a legitimate difference between the two where one is actually "wrong" somehow while the other is ok? Am I making too much out of this?

I think a lot of this is coming from my desire to maximize my effectiveness for the Kingdom. Time and money, both, effect my ability to serve God. If I had more time, what could I do for the Kingdom? If I had more money…? And if having more money and not blowing it on "frivolous" things like a housekeeper is important, how can I justify eating out, not mowing my own yard, and not changing my own oil?

I’ve added it to my Amazon Wish List but may end up using a recent gift card to pick it up. Too many books, too little time.

Tags: emerging+church, the+forgotten+ways, alan+hirsch

I really enjoyed his initial introduction and he has posted part one already.

The Forgotten Ways Blog by Alan Hirsch.

Take Make Poverty History, for example. In order to actually make poverty history, there needs to be no poor people left. This leaves us with no rich people by means of comparison. I don’t see that happening. I see the rich throwing some money towards the poor and the poor being a little less poor and rich being a little less rich and feeling much better about themselves. And of course, they’ll rally their friends to the cause, but only to the same extent.

Anyways… still struggling with all that, but I cam across this great article the other day and it has been stewing in my mind. Still not done processing it, but thought I would share it.

What Reversal? (Confronting Myths of "Equality")

Except….

unlike other points in the last year, I am not finding myself wanting to see what some recommended blogger has to say, I wanting to dive into community and conversation with them. So many voices and God using them to speak to me in a hole that I felt but couldn’t quite label yet.

Yesterday morning I had "breakfast" with Dean Sharp, Cal, Keith, Mark Marsden, Scooby, and another Mark. For almost two hours I just sat and listened, absorbed, what was being said. It felt a bit how I imagine the disciples felt, sitting around and to "the teacher" while he allowed us to ask questions. I don’t want to equate Dean to Jesus, but he is certainly serving a bit of a prophetic role, at least in my life.

New Voices….

All but Dean live nearby, but all but Scooby are new voices in my life and my conversations. But Voxtropolis, the virtual city of voices, brought us together in the here and now to converse, to learn, to grow.

There are more new voices out there, and for the first time in a while, I feel like I have a voice again…something to say.

I don’t know where it is, exactly, that God is leading me. Maybe it is a short journey with these new voices, in new conversation, to give me perspective so that I can come back to where I am now with new insight and wisdom. Or maybe….

Keep speaking.

1. It is about more than blogging.
2. It has connected me with some really cool people
3. It is based off of WordPress

BUT….

I can’t manipulate hardly anything. I am so used to designing my own themes. At the very least, I want to install my own sidebar widgets. And I see really cool stuff on Sam Radford’s and Dean Sharp’s pages.

SO….

How do I get a custom theme? or…How do I add a custom Sidebar Widget? or…At the very least, how do I add a list of pictures like Sam has of my Voxtropolis friends? I want a quick way to keep track of who has commented on my site, who I’ve met in real life, who I am reading, etc… and I really like the pictures rather than just links.

If you can help, please comment. If not, I guess I will have to email Sam or Dean.

And BTW…anyone know where a contact link for tech support or an FAQ or anything like that is. I know voxtropolis is more community driven then corporate “please press one for tech support”, but I didn’t/don’t see anything.

I started thinking about this, this morning, because I feel like I am in the middle of a connect the dots puzzle. Only this is one of the several hundred dot (maybe several thousand) puzzles and I don’t have a clue what the puzzle is going to look like when it’s done.

But here’s the good news. I no longer feel like I am on dot number 1. (Maybe dot 3 or 4).

This past weekend was an incredibly encouraging time. I finally met a few people who it feels like are a few of the connections in my puzzle. I was also asked (several times) how I met so and so. The great thing….this forced me to step back and analyze how I found myself where I am today.

Once again, I am amazed at how looking back on history makes the path look so simple, clean, and obvious and yet there was no predicting that I would be sitting here this morning with my present set of circumstances. It is amazing how God moves.

Sorry for being vague, but as I said, I am still early on in the puzzle. But now I know a few more people who are not only on this same path, but a few others who are few dots (or a few hundred) ahead of where I am at. I still don’t know what the puzzle is going to look like when it is done, but I have hope of completing it and arriving safely on the other side.

A Quick Update From This Weekend.

I did get to meet Mark Marsden (no relation), Tony Sheng, and a new friend on the journey of life, Keith. Hopefully, Keith will be either sending or posting a picture of Mark and I from Saturday night.

As it turns out, I can’t find my "good" camera. As such, I didn’t bring it on Saturday like I promised. Oh well.

Definitely check out the bands (see previous post) who were there Friday and Saturday. And if you are in the Ocoee area, check out House Blend Cafe. Great coffee and great guys.

But isn’t that what the Christian life is all about? Conforming, not to the image of Church or a Preacher or culture (certainly not culture), but conforming to the sacrificial love of Christ’s death on the cross. So I loved the whole “Lone Multitude” thing, and it really is a running theme for this year, but a more permanent theme for my life and my walk would be cruciformity.

It was a great night. Jettison Never and Jason Sharp both played last night (and both were incredible). I finally got to meet Tony Sheng (last year was a near miss (part1/part2)). I got to hang with some friends that I have met in the last few months and I made new friends with people I probably would have never met otherwise. I just wish I could remember all of their names. Alex McManus is a hard name to forget, but only because I knew his name before I met him. Remembering names is definitely a skill I need to work on. I have GOT to start writing names down when I meet people.

Tonight, Jason Sharp is going to be playing again along with Chasing Jonah. I imagine I will get to hang with some more people and am hoping to finally meet Mark Marsden who lives nearby and ministers with Scooby at St. Paul’s. When I got my tags renewed recently, I was asked, yet again, if I was related to him. Best of my knowledge, I am not, but it is still pretty cool and he is supposed to be a pretty cool guy.

I am also blogging over at Voxtropolis now (Alex McManus’s City of Voices) as well as at ChrisMarsden.com. The whole idea of Voxtropolis really intrigues me and long term, it may become my primary place for blogging. On the short term, I think I am going to post some here, some there, and then posts like this I will cross post to both blogs.

These pictures are from last night and off my phone. Better than a lot of phone cameras, but still not great. I will try and get some better pictures tonight. (I will post to the same set)

If you are in the Orlando area, this thing is going on again tomorrow.

Lone Multitude

Small Crowd

…

Really…I don’t know. It’s just lately I have felt like a single individual. A lone person, all by myself. And yet…I recognize that I am a part of something more. I just rediscovered voxtropolis and as I thought about what it is to be a part of a virtual city, I thought about be a single, lone individual who is nothing by themselves, who only takes on shape and value when recognized as part of the multitude. Not a purposeless multitude, mind you, but an intent multitude seeking to bring glory to the creator.

I looked again. I saw a huge crowd, too huge to count. Everyone was there-all nations and tribes, all races and languages. And they were standing, dressed in white robes and waving palm branches, standing before the Throne and the Lamb and heartily singing:
Salvation to our God on his Throne!
Salvation to the Lamb! (Rev. 7:9-10…The Message)