[A window into my life]

Donating

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Tue, 22 May 2012 07:47:00 +0000

Last week Momma G went to a local blood drive to, well, donate blood. I could've gone, but I knew better. I admit, I was sad, but when it took Momma G an extra hour to get home I said to myself, "That is why I don't donate."

For as long as I can remember Momma G and my Dad, donating blood at The San Diego Blood Bank. I would always go with them and watch their little pint baggies slowly fill up with blood while they squeezed their little squeezie thing and sigh and say "I can't wait until I can do that, too!" I even remember once or twice the staffers, not wanting me to feel left out, would even "bandage" up my little 6, 7, 8 year old arm while I wore my mint green SDBB shirt that has since been left in California. I also remember Momma G always falling faint and ill and taking longer than usual in the canteena and the staff members checking up on her. I also remember the Super Donations they would do, with a needle in both arms and the big "spinny machine" that would separate the platelets from the rest of the blood, and again, Momma G with the blankets and handwarmers. There was no sense of urgency so I was never afraid. Just, oh, okay. I don't remember my Dad ever being like that, and no one was panicky or never let her donate. It seemed normal.

2005. During my junior year of high school the New York Blood Center came to my school and with parental permission we were allowed to donate, as long as we were over 110 pounds.

"Awesome, now it's my turn!"

I was pretty sure I was over 110 pounds, and so with written consent in hand, I gave up my blood for a greater good. The needle was bigger than I expected, but if I remember right it looked like a 14 or 12, but already with at least a 4ga in one ear it wasn't frighteningly huge. I squeezed and counted and squeezed and counted and watched my blood drain from my body and when it was all full, which was relatively quick, I even asked to hold my bag o' blood. It was warm and squishy and pretty awesome. I was in awesome spirits feeling pretty great. I got bandaged up and was ready to go when whoosh I was back down with my head in a negative incline and looking at my feet.

"If you pass out we have to call 911."

Don't pass out I said to myself. And I didn't. I just went home extremely tired, thinking it was all due to my sleeping issues, not getting enough sleep, or maybe only eating a doughnut for "breakfast", or maybe I just didn't weigh enough. I crawled into bed and slept it off.

2009 was the next time I donated. It was at a church a block away, so no train taking involved, just in case I got faint again. I knew I was over 110, had a better meal than a doughnut, and since it was afternoon wasn't worried about a sleep deficit. Squeeze, one, two, three, four, five, squeeze. Still some lightheaded-ness and again looking at my feet, but it wasn't as bad as the time before.

2010. Mid-town, CitiCorp building. My first encounter with a blood collection monitor. Those little annoying machines that rock your bag back and forth and beep if it's not filling fast enough. I swear, that thing cut my filling time in half. But of course, I got faint and light headed again and was not allowed to get up from the little chair for an extra 20 minutes or so, sipping a juice box of apple juice. I didn't feel so self conscious, though, because a well built man was getting sick, himself. Eventually I got up, pocketed some cookies, and slowly made my way home to... Sleep.

2011. Another blood drive at a local church, other side of our block. Again with the blood sucking machine, but this time I asked for my time. Six minutes, 14 seconds. I made it out of the chair and over to the canteena. First time I've accomplished that without incidence. Or so I thought. Lightheaded, dizzy, faint. I probably would have went down had I waited a minute longer to get someone's attention. I was brought back to the chair and again was set up looking at my feet. Until I felt nauseous, then I was rolled over. Then I felt cold and they found a blanket for me. And at this point I'm thinking What the FUCK it just keeps getting worse! They eventually released me and I felt much better, well enough to go to a church that was having a discussion on emergency preparedness, which is so my thing, until I drained of all color and literally had to run and jump over little kids to get ill in a nice private spot.

Now I'm afraid to donate whole blood. I'm open to donating platelets, but can't find a "good" time. Donating bone marrow skeeves me out, and I can't afford to donate monies. So what can I donate?

My hair! To make wigs for children who, as the Locls of Love website put it, are suffering from hair loss. What better use for hair that would otherwise be thrown away?

While trying to figure out when to do it, start of summer, after birthday, Momma G asked me to cut her hair. So I did. Emi liked it and said I should do it that day. So I washed and blow dried my hair.

And measured it. Eighteen inches. Eighteen! Probably more because my hair isn't super straight. But still. Eighteen!

Then I sectioned it and made faces.

And cut.

And now...

As I said when I emailed a friend...

Boo-yah!

TIME, Attachment Parenting, Extended Breastfeeding, and Me

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:51:00 +0000

Last week we got our usual TIME magazine in the mail. Before Momma G handed it to me she said, "Oh, shit. I can't believe they published this!" She was talking, of course, about this one.

I was actually a little disappointed by the article. To me, it felt like it was more about Dr. Sears and his family than attachment parenting [AP} as a parenting idea, with some emphasis on breastfeeding/extended breastfeeing [BF/EBF].
There's this picture of a nearly 4 year old boy nursing (and the mom looking like she's trying to be a fashion model?) and then you read the article and there's not much information on AP or BF or why it's beneficial and how it's protected by law in most, if not all, states. It felt misleading and like a plug for the Sears' books. But again, this is my personal feeling.

When I was pregnant with my now 4.5 year old daughter I'd never heard of AP. I'd heard of Ferberizing, but only because of a movie. I only found out about AP when I was researching what felt natural to me. I live in NYC and hated strollers on the subway, you could tell it was awkward and cumbersome. I knew I was going to be a baby wearer right from the start, just like I knew I was going to breastfeed from the beginning. I am also a single parent and knew I'd have no one to take night feedings and changings for me, so co-sleeping was an obvious choice.
I wore my daughter until she outgrew our carrier and by that point she was big enough to walk everywhere, we only take the stroller when we're going to be out All Day. We still co-sleep and she still nurses at night. She's been away for entire weekends and surprisingly I'm still producing milk. She knows it's only for bedtime and I know how much our "Mommy Hugs" mean to her. I'm not going to hurt her feelings by taking away something so special to her when I can't even give her a good reason, by our standards.

Yes, Time's cover photograph was awkward and perhaps even poorly shot. There was no love there. No eye-to-eye connection, no visible bond. To me, that's what nursing is about and showing that is crucial to the acceptance of EBF. Otherwise it just looks...odd.

A Week of Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 02:11:00 +0000

I like "celebrating" holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Pi Day...

Pi Day was this past Wednesday, but since Emi has music class on Wednesdays until the end of March we didn't have time to bake a pie. So instead we put on our Pi Shirts, bought a bunch of pies and had a Picnic in the park.

From Pi Day, Parts 1 & 2

How do I pass up including this picture?
And for dinner we popped out some Pi ice to chill our drinks with our paella [pronounced pi-eya].
The next day, Thursday, we had left over pies, so Emi said it was still Pi Day, which makes sense since pi is 3.1415, so we had more pies and more ice.

This weekend, today, is St. Patrick's Day, except Emi's with Michael this weekend, so I brought the green out early. After our pies I coloured Emi's hands green and for dinner I made pancakes, coloured green. Since she's been on an Angry Birds kick I even made a pig for her, a big pancake for his head and a smaller one for his nose. Then we cuddled up and played some St. Pat's Angry Birds and Emi wished me a Happy Mommy St. Patrick's Day.
I hoped we'd have left over pancakes for brekky Friday morning, but nope, they were all eaten, so we had a regular breakfast followed by more hand dyeing! And more cuddling with a side of Angry Bird-ing.

From Mommy St. Patrick's Day

Kiss Me, I'm Irish!

I can see Emi asking to colour her hands more often now, and why not? Last month we dyed some 30 eggs. No holiday necessary!

Sorry, My Lovelies! -Update-

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 03:30:00 +0000

It's been a whole month since I last posted and I have no good reason. Actually, I do, but like usual it's one of those private-ish issues that the other person involved would have been pissed if I blogged about it, so instead I just bitched to anyone that would listen, which these days is really no one since I don't go anywhere anymore because I'm too busy spending my money going to doctor's appointments instead of karate which is Really Starting to Piss Me Off!

Every Tuesday this month I have a doctor's appointment, and even one on Friday. And that's just the appointments that I already made, who knows what other appointments I'll need?
Two weeks ago I had an allergist appointment, and he did some blood work, and I get results tomorrow, and probably have more blood drawn since I thought of something between then and now.
Last week I changed dentists because I don't like the other one, even though he wore Converses, and I changed clinics entirely. And because he gave me some amalgam fillings and now my tooth is Super sensitive, I can barely drink cold water without wincing. Now I get to have it redrilled and refilled, that's on Friday and another yet to be named day, and then finally my cleaning early next month. I also still need to go for a consult to have my wisdom teeth out, and then, of course, have them taken out.
Then finally next week I see my GI again to find out what last month's endoscopy showed and get lab results back. And then who knows if I'll have to see him again.

Emi's about to be registered for school. Kindergarten this year! We won't know if she got into gifted and talented until next month, but Emi doesn't want to go. She's got her heart set on going to our zone school, my little sweet bean. It's probably because she's already familiar with the building, she used to eat lunch there with her Forever Young Daycare when I was working at St. Bart's, and also last summer. She told me to cross our fingers for our zone school.

Momma G bought me a Kindle Fire for Valentine's Day, but Emi probably uses it more than I do. At least she calls it Our Kindle Fire, though. With it came a free month of Amazon Prime, so I've woken up pretty much every day since to either The Backyardigans, Angelina Ballerina, Blues Clues, Dinosaur Train, the list goes on. We also got a streaming set-top box, which Emi calls The Special Box, which made my LOST rewatch even better, and watching Amazon Prime movies with Emi even more snuggly.
Emi's also become quite an Angry Birds fan, and the game, the free one even, is so much better on the Kindle Fire. Way more levels. Emi's new thing is the golden eggs, so I've been spending my nights looking up where to find the golden eggs and how to get them.

Wish me luck with all the doctors, and with the Angry Birds, too!

Whee! Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:25:00 +0000

This past weekend we went to one of our favourite stores... Build-A-Bear Workshop!

We got a mailer a few weeks ago with some new, seasonal, Valentine's bears that they had, so of course we had to go and buy some new bears.

I was already 99% sure of the bear that I wanted, Momma G wanted to look around first, and Emi was saying she wanted a penguin. When we walked in Emi found the penguin she wanted, but while Momma G and I were looking around she found a bear [And for some reason I can't find the links on the BABW website] she really wanted.

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

The bear of her choice is a "Bake Shop Bear", one of the special bears that they have out now, I think for Valentine's Day. Emi's bear is a confetti covered cupcake bear, that comes with its own cupcake. The bear that I had already picked out was also a "Bake Shop Bear", a pink sugar cookie bear, that comes with its own sugar cookie. Momma G picked out a koala... Until Emi brought her a blue donut "Bake Shop Bear" that comes with its own donut. Momma G tried to tell Emi that she really wanted her koala until she realized that Emi wanted our bears to match like they had pictured in the mailer.

There was a longer line than usual to get them stuffed, but we kept ourselves entertained by making our bear-skins talk to each other, because that's why we get bears, so they can play and talk to each other, and us.

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

On the way to the train we stopped to buy some pretzels to eat on the ride home. On the ride home Emi asked to play with iZiggy II. While Emi was playing whatever she was playing [I don't know what she was playing not because I wasn't paying attention to her but because she knows how to switch games and all the games on the iPhones are Emi approved so I let her have at it] I was talking to Momma G about how in the mornings Emi will grab iZig2 and just start playing games, cuddled up next to me or leaning on me, while I slowly come to consciousness to the sounds of Angry Birds and German flash cards. I asked Emi if she knew how to say "Apple" in German, since it's the first word in the food category and that seems to be the one she uses most, but she didn't know so we all kept munching on our pretzels.
Then, out of nowhere, Emi says she knows how to say "Pretzel" in German.

"You do?"

"Yeah! Brezel."

I didn't know off the top of my head what the German for "Pretzel" is, so I pulled out iZiggy, opened my German flash cards app, and looked it up.

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

She also told me how to say "Cauliflower" yesterday. "Blumenkohl".

Amazing how small ones absorb that sort of stuff.
Emi also plays with the French flash cards app, but I'm not sure which she uses most. Of course, now that I know she's actually paying attention and not just listening to it, we do it together. And, of course, since I've been wanting to learn German for, like, ever, at this point, I admit we do the German most.

After we got home I emptied out our main stuffie container to bring the bottom stuffies to the top so they can get a turn to be played with, but before I could put them all back in, someone decided to lay on them.

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

That's why we go to Build-A-Bear.

Now for a couple more cute pictures from the past few days...

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

Emi, Anna Cupcake, and iZiggy II

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

Toes!

From Feb 4 - 6, 2012

Pearly whites!

Stressed Much

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:25:00 +0000

These past few weeks I've been ridiculously stressed. I haven't blogged about it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I've pretty much had a nervous stomach every day for maybe the past three weeks, have had no appetite for [healthy] food -- I managed to gain a pound last week, and I've been breaking out like a freshman pizza-face.
Not to mention my hair. My hair usually falls out, stressed or not, but I tend to get scratchy when I'm stressed. Two main spots usually, back of my head by my neck, and up by my temple. I'll scratch at it so much they'll bleed and scab, after they start flaking, looking dandruff-y... On one spot on my head.

Earlier this week I made a joke to Mommy that come my endoscopy, my GI is going to find ulcers from all the stress, I laughed off my pimples with my friends after karate, and I even thought about texting one of my friends to say that I'm so stressed if I were in my 30s I'd start worrying about graying.
I didn't send it though, because they would have been like "You're 20-freaking-3 years old! Twenty-three year olds don't get gray hair. Stop bitching!" because some of my friends can be joking d-bags like that.

Last night I noticed some flakes by my temple and while I was dusting them off and checking my scalp I noticed something.

From Stressed Much

Yep. A gray hair. For real. It's not a long one, just a short little hair, not noticeable unless pointed out, and even then it's a search.

Then this morning I was doing my hair before going out when...

From Stressed Much

Another one. This one is a long one. An all the way down one. It even curls with the rest of my hair. But it's still not noticeable.

Now, I don't know how grays work. Does the whole strand go gray at once? Or can a strand be half gray, half colored? Because then that would mean that the second one has been around for a while...?

I'm still not sure how I feel about this new color I'm developing. Mommy was super proud of her gray hairs, even stopped colouring her hair, but she was already in her 30s when they started popping out.
A lot of the people I went to high school with also have their own grays, so I'm not alone. Maybe us Millienials really are the most stressed generation.

Bedtime Words

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 06:48:00 +0000

On Tuesdays I'm at karate from 5:30pm to 8:45pm. I don't usually get home until 10pm or 10:30pm. Way after Emi's already asleep. I tell her I'll come in and give her a kiss when I get home, but honestly I usually don't so as to not wake her up.

Today I got home, watched Flashpoint, twice, and then, in the middle of Criminal Minds, who stumbles out but a little SleepyBean.

"*crying* Mommy! You didn't say goodnight when you came home!"

"*in soothing Mommy voice* I came in and snuck you a kiss but you didn't wake up." Totally lying, btw.

"But you were supposed to wake me up! *more crying*"

"Okay. I promise to next time. Let's go tuck you back in."

I lay her down on her pillow and pull the blankets up to her chin. I give her more kisses than she can count [And she can count pretty high] and then we say bedtime words at half past midnight.

Bedtime words are always sweeter when she asks for them.

CBS Cares

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:29:00 +0000

Since we don't have cable anymore, and for some reason our antenna doesn't get ABC, we've been watching most of our prime-time TV on CBS. I don't remember what we were watching, but there was a commercial with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne with Ozzy saying that he's always wanted to fly to NYC and have a colonoscopy.

*snort* Somehow little ol' me managed to have something the Bloody Prince of Dahkness wants but hasn't gotten yet. Ha!

Needless to say Momma G and I looked at each other and shared the same "Wait... What?" look and thought it was a joke. Because, really, what network is going to give a colonoscopy as a prize? Who wants one of those? And the laxative you have to drink, and the food you can't eat? Yeah, I'm so going to send in my entry right away.

Then, recently, I was obsessing over a Cold Case episode I didn't pay attention to, searching for when the next air date is, when I saw the same ad, except on the internet. Of course this time I opened it and read, and even looked to see what exactly one has to do to enter the sweepstakes, because I think I'd like another colonoscopy. Not.

Well, I never watched The Osbournes and for the most part live under a rock, so I was surprised that Sharon had colon cancer and that's why they're doing the CBS Cares sweepstakes and that it's totally real and for people 40-79 years old. So yes, enter if you can, because you never know what they'll find.

I guess if I want another colonoscopy I'll have to beg my doctor.

Seriously though.
My GI took biopsies all throughout the procedure and every one of the biopsies had these eosinophil cells, so now he wants me to see an allergist [Which reminds me I need to call for a referral -- thanks, blog!] because I could have an allergy and not even know about it [Not sunflower seeds, the horror!], send in various sample for testing of other things [Seriously, I'll spare you the details, but I did do that one already], and finally have an endoscopy, which is scheduled for February 10. Kind of soon, so I'm trying not to panic.

I just keep trying to live in the now, and maybe those cupcakes I promised Emi we'll bake for our Valentine's Day Party will get baked a week or so early.

Obviously Not

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 07:18:00 +0000

First post of 2012 posted over a week into the year? Obviously blogging wasn't one of my New Year's Resolutions...

I meant to post on Friday, after Emi's follow up visit with her new pediatritian. How Emi's ears are looking fine, no fluid. How Emi got so used to taking her bubble gum flavoured medicine that when we finished it she'd still remind me to give her her dose. And especially how Emi's created her own imaginary friend named Amy and it's her birthday pretty much every day. She's turning 5 tomorrow. I think we'll have a tea party to celebrate it.

Then I also wanted to update the header. I planned on doing that this past weekend since it was a whole week of doctors or being busy, but failed and I probably won't get to it this week either, and I'm also thinking about maybe making it less Emi-centric, because even though she is the center of my universe, there are other things in my life. And also because Emi doesn't stay still long enough for me to get pictures of her anymore. Even when she poses, it's that lucky one shot out of 30+ that's the keeper.

I also want to maybe set up a mobile layout for my blog, but I'm in no rush for that.

Yes, I mean to do a lot, I really, really want to. But this month my main goal is to go down a belt notch. And to start going to bed before 2am. Starting off with small goals, right?

Anyway, good luck with all your resolutions, everyone! Feel free to share goals and game plans. You might help someone else out with theirs!

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 05:47:00 +0000

Love, Us.

Sick Princess

noreply@blogger.com (Victoria Anne) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 05:49:00 +0000

From Princess Emi

Around the 15th Emi started having a sort of a phlegmy cough [again]. She had one earlier in the month, but it kinda went away and then came back. I thought it was just a lingering cough, dry air, the usual "I sound sick, but I'm not really sick" sort of cough that goes around at this time of year. She didn't get lethargic or even have epic fevers so what all could be done?

Christmas Eve night she felt much warmer than usual, but she was asleep so I didn't take her temperature. That night, during dinner, she also said her "arms were too tired to eat", but I thought she was worn out from the excitement of Christmas and just excited to go to sleep [for once] so Santa could come. Her appetite had also been meh, but it's also not unusual for kids to eat, eat, eat, and then snub, snub, snub.

[A window into my life]

Donating

TIME, Attachment Parenting, Extended Breastfeeding, and Me

A Week of Holidays

Sorry, My Lovelies! -Update-

Whee! Weekend

Stressed Much

Bedtime Words

CBS Cares

Obviously Not

Happy New Year!

Sick Princess

Princess Emi!

Christmas 2011

Merry Christmas!

Happy Christmas Eve!

Touristy Weekend

DIY Advent Calendar

Christmas Stockings!

Look, Mommie!

Yay for doctors! For real, this time (TMI?)

Christmas in Rockefeller Center

Countdown to Christmas

I know it may be a little early...

Thanksgiving 2011

Always stop to smell the Christmas trees...