I am a married man having an affair with another married lady, who is a friend of my wife. For about 3 months we carried this affair and suddenly she backed off saying she received a daily devotion message which prevented her to have any affair. She is a subscriber to a christian site and gets daily devotion and has lots of belief in God.

Please help.

Stan

I know this guy from work and he has been so nice to me and has ask me out once.

When he talks to me he blushes, when he do things in front of me his hand shakes.
I treat him like I treat my other co-workers.
I hadn't thought of it at all, until several of my co-workers told me, "he likes you!".

When I was so sick a couple weeks back, he took me out to buy food and had been
spoiling me by driving me home after work.

YellowPillow

Dear YellowPillow,

If you have a good feeling about him then give him a chance.
Go out together and see whether you click or not, you'll never know if you never try.
A couple of dates don't mean anything serious.
If things seems to be going well, then Yay! If you find things not the way you'd like them to be, then just withdraw slowly and make sure you stay on good terms as co-workers.

Good Luck!

I've had a crush on him since I was a little girl. Since I came here in California, I just couldn't forget about him. So, I went home to the Philippines on June 29 and when I got there, I saw him and we went to Baguio together. It all started there. I fell for him and he fell for me. We've been talking, and to be honest something already happened to us. I know, it's really bad. But what can I do' I love him so much.

Mae

Answer:

Well Mae it looks like you got yourself quite a dilemma! Why of all people did you have to fall in love with your cousin? That's incest! And I might ask, is he your first, second, third or fourth cousin? If he is, then there really won't be a future for your relationship since the Philippine Law does not allow marriage between relatives of up to the fourth level of consanguinity! That's if there?s a chance you're thinking about marriage. Another thing you must think about is that if you get pregnant there's a chance your baby might have genetic disorder!

If you go ahead with the relationship do you think you?d both be happy knowing your family and maybe his family too cannot accept your relationship? There will always be trouble among you and you won't be at peace. A love relationship is supposed to be happy and peaceful in order for it to grow. Do you think that's going to happen if there's disapproval all around you? Sooner or later that's going to be the cause of disagreements between the two of you and without your family's support what you fought for will just crumble.

Your family tried to break you apart because they know the relationship is all wrong. I?m sure they just have your best interest at heart by doing so.

You say you love him and I understand that. But even though that's the case you still need to use your mind not just your heart. You still have to evaluate what is right and what is wrong. And in this case I think you know that what you have is wrong. You have to let it go. You have to let him go.

If your long term relationship has suffered a lull of late and you�re not sure how to turn things around in order to get your partnership back on track, it can be worrying, distressing and upsetting. If you are not able to talk to one another and get to the bottom of whatever it is that�s causing the problems, it might be time to consider seeking outside help in order to return your relationship to its former health and begin the path back to harmonious happiness once again.

This type of spiritual reading can help to pinpoint the deeper, hidden cause of relationship problems and genuine psychic professionals can offer invaluable advice from a spiritual perspective. Many people find that when they are struggling with a bad patch in their relationship, or a bad relationship full stop, the one person they want to seek advice from is the one person who isn't around anymore; mediums can help with this by putting people in touch with those who have passed away and passing on messages from the other side from deceased loved ones.

Of course, if you choose to go down the path of seeking spiritual relationship advice from a psychic professional, such as a clairvoyant or a medium, be prepared to hear that your relationship might not be the right one for you to be in. Also be sure to seek advice from genuine professionals.

Well Rich, it seems there is something wrong with your friendship because she isn�t communicating with you! I guess it might be some kind of sign � but it wouldn�t hurt to talk to her if you get the chance. See what she has in mind, and take things forward from there. If things sound good, tell her about your feelings, if not, well I guess it is definitely a dead end relationship!

Good luck.

Whether you are single or part of a couple, you have to take the right steps to make your life full and happy � here are some tips and advices that are easy to follow �

If you are single:

Take time alone: Try to develop parts of yourself that you couldn�t if you were part of a couple. Try to make time for yourself, where you can know yourself better and overcome any fear or insecurity on your own sweet time.

Connect with people in groups: Socializing is very important, and so are close friendships. Try going regularly to a club, where you can take dancing lessons or aerobics with multiple partners, which makes your social status unimportant � be one with everybody...

If you are part of a couple:

Try to improve yourself: Make time for developing your mind, body and soul. Choose walking or poetry writing or painting � challenge yourself.

Beware of negative merging: Don�t be a magnet of negative energy; if your partner is anxious that doesn�t mean you have to be too. Always share your feelings and try to figure out why you are bothered.

Don�t become roommates: Spend quality time with your partner away from the television and the computer. Emotional, spiritual and physical closeness are very important. Give each its time.

I am already married but I have deeply fallen in love with someone else. I can sense that he is my soul mate, who I have been searching for. I want to grow old with him. On the other hand, I don't love my husband anymore (assuming it was love at the very beginning). I want to be free.
What should I do?

SM

Well, if you are 100% sure of your feelings towards your husband, and the other man, then you have to be brave, and take things into your own hands; you have to talk about it with your husband, tell him that things aren't working between you two, and that you would like to split up, yet stay friends, because you wouldn't want to stay in a relation with him until you hate him!

You have to handle things with care.
Good Luck

My story started by the end of February 2004. I called the company I usually buy phone cards to call back home. I have talked few times with the manager who was very sweet to me, I noticed that he had a khaleejy accent.But that day "end of Feb" the manager was joking with me, I asked him from where he was exactly from he said frm Emarate, I started joking with him with the Emarate accent, he laughed so hard. He took my cell number, but I've never thought he will call me back, since I was just joking, and it wasn't the first time...

To make a story short, "H" loved me and appreciated me before even seeing me, we never exchanged pictures. He lived in a different state around 4 hrs flight fom where I live, quiet a distance! I loved his personality, he was older than me by 11 years, but we got along very well. I knew from him that he wasn't the manager of the phone compay but the owner. "H" didn't have any problem with my past and he tried to replace all what I didn't have "Love" . We decided to meet, since he is a busy man, I accepted to fly to meet him. I was nervous, it wasn't appropriate in our culture to go, especially I had to hide it from my friend and family to not misjudge me, it was a risk to take but for love I was ready to do anything for him. I traveled by the end of April. I got there he calls my cell to know where he'll find me. It was a blind date with the person I love! I was in love with a man who I don't know how he looks like. Here he comes...nervous I see him....He didn't have that much hair, and looked older than a 37 years old...I tld myself he probabely worked hard in his life. When he saw me he kept telling how beautiful I was, he said"GOd sent you to me on a golden plate" "Al kamal lillah but God gave you a brain and beauty, and I am so lucky" .....We spent the week-end together...
Went back to mty State..we got so close to eachother, "H" became my life, I became his...He couldn't sleep if he doesn't hear my voice...we were seeing each other every month for just a week-end.......

Our love kept growing bigger and we were even making plans for the future...we talked about kids, about our life together....etc
In June I went back to my country to visit just for ten days, he was calling me everyday...

In August "H" got sick, and I felt like I was dying I had to see him...next thing I was in a flight to give him some love and attention ....
"H" didn't go back to visit his family for over 15 yrs, so I've pushed him to go see his parents before it's too late, but since he is very busy, each month he canceled the trip, and scheduale it for the next one. My parents came to visit on October for Ramadan...I had a lot of people asking me for marriage, I refused, I was in love with someone else...I tol them this time I choose the one I want and love....the pressure was high on me...I shared it with "H" he was everything for me , not only the love but also the friend...his answer was that he wasn't ready to ask my hand from my parents, I asked him to just introduce himself ...without rush for marriage...he never answered me straight he was always changing the subject...

December comes , "H" surprised me with his unexpected trip to Emarates, he said that I should not worry but he will try his best to call me..."he promised his mom to not call anyone including work " I didn't think he won't call, he was the kind that he couldn't stay a day without hearing my voice......he got first to kuwait , he calls that he'll fly in a day or two to Emarates after taking care of some business...since then 3 weeks no phone calls....

I started to be suspecious, how come he didn't call, I was sying inside thinking that he might be married and he hid it from me....or may be his parents wanted to arrange marriage for him....etc...I started doubting especially I visited him few times in his state but he never invited me to his house, he just showed it to me from far...when I asked the question he just said that his niece and husband are visiting from out of seas...I believed him but had some doubts....
Anyway, when he got back he called me as soon as his flight landed in the US. I was very cold with him, and asked him why he never contacted me when he was back home...always the same answer, my promise for my MOm....IMy coldness didn't change foe a week or 10 days, and I kept talking about the same subject asking him if he was hiding things from me, ...etc One day he got mad and told me "That's why I don't wonna get married,I swore that I won't get married...I told mty family about you and my mother swore that she won't forgive me even if she dies if I marry you because you are not Emarati and you are divorced....." The words were too strong for me I felt I was dying ...I started crying rminding him our love, how can we sacrifice our love...he said that he was suffering enough....I cried so much, couldn't eat, got depressed, and wanted to die to kill myself to not suffer ....I have already suffered enough and never knew what was love until I met "H" but maybe I wasn't meant to love or be loved.....
Since then "H" changed with me, he became cold, hardly called me, and was killing me...

What else to do, just pray to God to help me in theses moment give me the strength that he always gave me, to not let me down, I needed him so much...and I swore to not forgive the person who burned my heart, .....
How can I believe in love or in relationships anymore? It's pretty hard...I am still suffering ...Inchallah one day I'll be able to trust guys, and love as welll...I lost my faith ...

This story was first published on Waleg on April 11, 2005.

I'm a junior in college and grew up doing theater. This great friend of mine Jessica was my theatrical opposite quite a bit in high school, and thus we developed a good friendship. I've always wanted to date her, but it's never been the right time. I've just transferred to Athens, where she lives, for UGA and we got together with other friends last night. At a bar she told Stacey, other friend, that she wanted me to buy her a drink and I did of course. We flirt and then her boyfriend shows up.

Seb

Dear Seb,

It was just a drink don�t assume she meant anything more than that. She might have been bored that time that is why she asked you to buy her a drink and flirted with you anyway there�s nothing wrong with that since you�ve been good friends for a long time. But are you sure it was flirting? It was probably just a friendly banter to her have you thought of that?

Even if you think they haven�t been dating for a long time, they are still girlfriend and boyfriend! If she�s not into him anymore then why hasn�t she broken up with him? That�s what you need to keep in mind. It�s not good to come between a relationship.

If she shares the same feelings as you, wait until she breaks up with her boyfriend before you make a move. If she�s no longer in love with her boyfriend that�s what she�s going to do, count on it. But until then, it�d be wise to show nothing else but friendship.

Good Luck!

Some women always bemoan the fact that somewhere along the way they�ve lost the �romance� in their married life. What with having the kids, keeping a job and other temptations that somehow seem to invade a happy couple�s togetherness, keeping the romance alive is a test.

So, are you one of those women who just give up and file their divorce papers or do you have the fighting spirit to give it a go �till death do us part�? Here are some tips that can help:

And last but definitely not the least, have an active sex life! Only with your husband, of course. Don�t fall into the mire of seeing it as an obligation. Enjoy it while you still can because when you get old, it wouldn�t be the same.

By Ruthel

It�s always an issue when we hear a woman has had a somewhat unconventional past. Either she�s had numerous love affairs or had been a woman of trade or did other things regular women won�t be caught doing. Sometimes blame can�t be assigned to the woman alone, we also have to see the circumstances that compelled her to do these things.

Let�s put it this way, all men and women are sinners. Can�t change that but we are all given a chance to make right what we�ve done wrong. So, it�s not exclusive to the men. If it was a guy who cheated or had lots of girlfriends, people tend to see this as part of being a man. No, polygamy is not inherent, it�s by choice. Who agrees with me?

We have to change this way of thinking and try to understand, make allowances to those who deserve it.

What do you think; does a woman with a past deserve a second chance?

By Ruthel

I've known a guy since we were 11 - we were classmates - and we are now almost 20. He liked me in 7th grade but it was a kids' thing and we dated for 3 days, however, I know I hurt him. I always felt attracted but I was after other guys.

All these years we've been going out with our old classmates and doing things together and we always had a connection although he never really opens up.

Then I realized I liked him and that I probably lost him forever and did the worst thing: I told him how I felt, not face to face, not on the phone, but by e-mail because I'm a coward.

I know he's shy but it seems ridiculous to me that he'd say he only liked me as a friend after I opened my heart to him.

How can I get over this guy and stop believing he's my true love and we could have something beautiful when he seems not to care?

Sally

Answer:

Dear Sally,

They say girls are most of the time after the guy that ignores them, maybe your friend is afraid you might hurt him again, maybe he fears falling for you and doesn�t trust you because you messed up with him before. If you stay close friends and see him all the time it will be hard to move on and forget him, therefore you need time apart. Since he called you I�m sure he cares, but maybe not in the way that you do.

I believe that the way to forget about a person is dating another person and not waiting around for this guy to come back to you, I know it will be hard at first to be with someone different but it gets better with time. Maybe someone better will come along and make you forget this guys so don�t wait around and lose your chances live your life and meet new people.

If you were destined to be with this friend of yours then eventually you will.

Nina

What should I do when a guy is so obsessed and he loves me so much?

Kathy

Game after the jump

I fell for this guy who works in my office from day one!
I never had the chance to tell him that I've got feelings for him.
Currently we're best friends and he's gotten married recently.
I see him and his wife everyday, because she also works in the same building.
It breaks my heart to see them together! I'm trying to get over it but i can't!

I am confused. I need help!

Sam

Answer:

Sam, he's moved on and is a married man now.
Staying stuck where you're at now, will only do you bad!
You'll get over this with time!
Go on with your life and be happy for him!
Get married and enjoy your life!