Waliblahblah

it's kinda late...

2011-04-12T05:24:00.000-07:00

but I'm still up.

I was reading some tech news for a while, then something distracted me and at the end I found myself checking out some childhood stories of this Taiwanese actress.

earlier today I finished writing the 17th article on this upcoming blog of mine which talks about relationships. I mentioned this project earlier this year here in a Chinese post. the blog is in fact completely written in Chinese. at the moment my idea is to get a good number of articles ready before I start releasing them to the public on a timely basis. this way there will always be a new article every week; a good way to build & retain viewers (supposedly).

for the past couple of weeks I've been checking out Craigslist for used CRXs. I'm thinking about buying one and rebuilding the car myself, e.g., replace the motor with one that has a more potent kick (Integra?), restore the exterior paint, outfit the interior with a crap load of electronics, etc. this has been a childhood dream of mine for a long time, and hopefully I'll get to do this. besides, 40+ miles per gallon isn't exactly a bad thing these days.

also I'm kinda missing my brother. I actually got to see him a few times lately, but it's different. due to various factors in recent years, there wasn't much interaction between my bro and I. and when I say I miss him, I actually don't know what I miss, since we've "detached" for at least half a decade already. it feels like a huge barrier in the middle of us, but the barrier is just made of white space. maybe it's the closeness I'm missing.

I don't know what drove me to pour these thoughts out at this hour, but I suspect the sound of gentle snoring from double-ting helped.

貳零壹壹

2011-01-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

到目前為止還不錯（雖然才過了9天），幾件事情都還在理想的範圍之內進展著：從去年底至今都固定的健身小有成效，和朋友計劃做些小生意的方案穩定進行，還有上次說的戀愛網誌也寫了好幾篇了（準備中，未公佈）。

前一陣子看了個分析，說是周邊的人每年都說「今年怎麼過得那麼快」是有道理的。因為人對於時間的觀念基本上是「相對」的而不是「絕對」的，所以你活得越久，每一年對於你整個人生來說佔的比例越小，自然會覺得越短。

說這個自然是因為今年又不能免俗的跟朋友們說了「過得真快，怎麼覺得2010才開始就結束了」之類的話，其實只是因為變老了。

近況

2010-11-07T21:15:00.000-08:00

話說我到底有多少篇文是以「又有好久沒寫東西了···」來開始的啊？今年好像啥都沒做就快過了，日日重複著規律卻無聊的公式，又沒有見到多少成效。別人問起的時候會下意識的想怪罪一切於「經濟不好啊」「生意難做啊」之類的藉口，實際上很清楚自己根本沒盡力做什麼事。蓋虛度青春者，非小生莫屬也。

或許我得找個有挑戰性的目標或者參加個 motivational speech 講座什麼的。

最近想新建一個講戀愛的網誌，別笑。

yo

2010-06-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

yesterday two customers walked in and said to each other:
"damn why's it so f*cking hot up in this m*ther f*cker?!?"
"yee this summer heat is insane, mane."

seeing them in shirt & tie and a full dress, I said:
"just got back from Sunday service, I presume?"

customer:
"who?"

me:
"I were axing if y'all jus' got outta church?"

them both:
"oh yee yee, f'sho we deed."

I live in an Ebonics world.

baby

2010-04-12T18:52:00.000-07:00

people are having babies.

this is giving me some sort of a gradual shock. Berkat's son is now 2+ years old, and it still weirds me out a bit when I think of it. my friend Fuping is having his 3rd kid, both David and William are expecting a baby soon, and with some others planning for it.

at the same time, I've been getting "when are you having yours?" "are you getting married any time soon?" and a bunch of "what's wrong with you?"s...

I know I don't get it as bad as a typical Asian girl does in terms of friends/family questioning but it certainly makes me think about it more often lately.

but without a positive career outlook and decent-enough candidates around, it seems like I'll have to wait a bit longer before my Princess Charming appears.

二合一

2010-02-25T02:33:00.000-08:00

[EN]

I've been blogging at another location for a while now. I didn't post them here partly because this is primarily an English blog and those posts are written in Chinese, but mostly because they mention things that are somewhat personal, things like romantic relationships of myself or my friends.

I've decided to combine the 2 blogs together, just because. links to those blog entries are at the bottom of this post.

[CH]

我在另一個地方寫東西也寫了一段時間了。我一直沒將那些文章放在這裡，一部分原因是由於這裡主要還算是一個英語部落格，但大部分原因是由於寫的多半是比較私人的東西，像是關於我自己或是我朋友的戀情那方面。

我決定將它們合在一起，沒什麼特別原因。新加的那幾篇連結如下。

2009/07/04 - 煙花
2009/04/29 - 信
2009/04/20 - 未知的樂趣
2009/01/28 - happy 牛 year
2008/11/05 - 小女孩
2008/10/08 - 梅雪爭春
2008/09/24 - 無聊到死
2008/07/24 - 帶小孩
2008/03/18 - 受不了
2008/02/18 - 我贏了
2008/02/06 - 三十歲的約定
2008/02/04 - 眼淚
2008/02/02 - 變成保母
2008/01/30 - 遲來的迷惘
2008/01/25 - 沒辦法
2008/01/18 - 疲哉病兮
2008/01/12 - 花心
2008/01/09 - lie
2008/01/05 - 友痴堪扁直須扁
2008/01/03 - 今天天氣很好
2008/01/01 - 2008
2007/12/27 - 丟臉
2007/12/23 - 最愛法式香草冰淇淋
2007/12/16 - 迷惘
2007/09/12 - 如果
2007/09/03 - 成長
2007/08/25 - 太陽與月亮
2007/08/13 - 想跳扭扭舞
2007/08/01 - 給小貓咪的一封信
2007/07/22 - 我了解
2007/07/13 - 心靈與肉體
2007/07/07 - 久未更新
2007/01/29 - 累

見到了就好

2010-01-30T02:11:00.000-08:00

跟妳吵吵鬧鬧也那麼多年了。最後一次見妳是笑的，畢竟比不笑要好。

煙花

2009-07-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

當它爆炸的瞬間，是綻放，抑或是破滅？

信

2009-04-29T01:11:00.000-07:00

妳寫了一封信。

沒有說到妳那裡繽紛的體驗。也沒有提起新鮮的生活。
只見到滿滿一信紙的矛盾與依戀。

別人看到的妳不是這樣的。
妳很獨立，也有野心與上進心。妳為自己定了一個目標就奮力的要去達成。

不過，

他見識過另一個妳。

溫柔的，嬉戲的，天真的妳。
那個妳說「我在你這裡好輕鬆。」
那個妳寫了這封信。

妳知道麼？

妳愛的不是他。
而是他身後的那個人。

那個人的名字，

叫做無憂。

未知的樂趣

2009-04-20T02:39:00.000-07:00

常聽人說「知己知彼，百戰百勝」。好像知道對方的底細，就穩操勝算一般，而在用這個詞的時候，都是把重心放在「知彼」。而我認為，「知己」才是這話的精華所在。打聽對手底細固然重要，但是多少失敗的例子，都是在對自己不夠了解，或者對自己的能力做出了錯誤的考量，而造成的。

這幾天老是看見身邊的朋友犯下這方面的錯誤，心中才有此感嘆。其實有些也不是多大的錯誤，不過就是一些畫虎反犬的失敗，越描越黑的失敗，裡外非人的失敗等等... 事後反悔不及，反招訕笑。

我自己也好不到哪裡去。

病貓做久了，忘記咆嘯的威風。
坦白習慣了，忘記未知的樂趣。

夜深矣，語無倫次。就寢也，明日請早。

戒指破了

2009-04-06T03:37:00.000-07:00

好久以前批來了一箱戒指，想在網上賣。這戒指是一種深灰色石頭磨成的，戴上去看起來並不起眼，但如果略加注意，其色調還有折光率與一般金屬寶石戒指大有不同，很是特別。

不過這戒指有個缺點，就是易破。我時常沒事就拿一個來戴著玩，可要是一個不小心拍到了桌子，或者敲到牆，或者掉到地上，它就很容易破成兩半。這幾年我也不知道弄破了多少個。好在成本低廉，破了也不在乎，再拿一個戴就是。

最近的這個，是差不多四五個月前開始戴的。那時候順手也拿了一個給她，要她戴著好玩，無形之中也變成「情侶戒」了。怪的是，這次戴著一直也沒有意外，幾個月了也完好如初。

兩個多月前因故和她斷了來往，戒指卻照戴，也沒想太多。

今天晚上運動完了之後，回到家裡體力不支。本想看看閒書便睡，不料反手拿書不著，連桌子都沒碰到邊。本想順勢撐著牆邊將身體扶正，竟在使力時聽見一聲清脆，戒指當場碎成兩片雙跌至地毯邊。

我一愣，看著破碎的戒指，霎時腦中千頭萬緒，不能動彈。好像看到了一樁樁的，一件件的，曾經和她在一起時的，花花鳥鳥，風風雨雨，都從破碎的戒指缺口那裏飛將出來。只開了盞小燈呢，卻看到滿眼五彩繽紛。家人都睡著呢，卻感到周圍喧嘩大作。心中起伏澎湃久久無法停歇，等到回過神來，才覺得口中一鹹，原來是淚水滑落了下來而不自知。

當下嘆了一聲，也不知道嘆的什麼。就想到瓊瑤寫的首新詩：

他們說世界上沒有神話
他們說感情都是虛假
他們說不要做夢不要寫詩
他們說我們都已經長大

情繫秀髮香

2009-03-24T14:21:00.000-07:00

昨晚做了個夢。

夢中的我清早起床，做了她最喜歡的煎蛋，兩片烤的微黃的，塗了牛油的麵包，還有一杯她愛喝的加了少許巧克力醬的牛奶。一切準備妥當了，唯一缺的卻是...

她。

夢醒了，依稀的聞到她的味道。我閉上眼盡力的去回想她的面容，竟然一片空白。魂縈夢牽，悵然若失。

絨布兔

2009-02-18T21:47:00.000-08:00

「什麼是真心？」

一天，絨布兔問了這個問題。他們那時候正在娜娜還沒回房間打掃之前躺在幼兒床的柵欄邊。「真心是不是代表在你肚子裡有機關發條，然後有根從肚子旁伸出來的小把手？」

「真心並不是指你是怎麼製做的，」花皮馬回答「那是一件在你身上降臨的事情。當一個小孩喜歡你很久很久了以後，不像一般玩具隨便玩一玩，而且是真正愛著你的時候，你就變成真心的了。」

「那會痛嗎？」兔子問。

「有時候會，」花皮馬坦誠的回答，因為他總是誠實的「可是當你是真心的了以後，你也不在乎痛了。」

「那...是一下子發生的嗎？就像突然好興奮一樣，」絨布兔繼續問「還是慢慢來的？」

「不是一下子發生的，」花皮馬說了「你會改變。而且需要一段時間。這也是為什麼這並不常發生在軟弱的，或者太尖銳的，或者需要小心照料的人身上。基本上，等到你有了真心以後，身上大部分的毛都已被愛光了，眼睛也掉了出來，身上的連接處也鬆散了並破爛不堪。不過呢，這些都已經無所謂了，因為得到真心以後你永遠也不會醜陋，而那些不瞭解真心的人是不會明白的。」

Fifi

2009-02-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

been sick for a while, and it was especially bad today, so I took a nap around 2:00pm after taking some medicine hoping to feel better when I wake up.

sadly, I couldn't get any peaceful rest, turning and tossing, dreaming weird dreams. I decided to get up in the end, and walked outside to help them with the restaurant.

both of my parents were there and mom was telling me some funny thing my cat Bubu did back at home, which then reminded me that I had left Fifi in my back office for days and days and forgot to feed him! he misbehaved a few days ago and I decided to put him in a giant suitcase for a little while thinking that'd teach him a lesson, but now I have completely forgotten about him for days!

worried whether he was still alive, I ran into the back office and crack opened the suitcase, and from the darkness I saw the familiar yellow-white stripe tail wagging... I called out "Fifi?" and he turned around. but instead of a familiar face, I saw a hideous feline making horrible sounds. it leaped at me and I was pushed back and almost fell. I was stunned for a moment as it jetted towards outside. I yelled out "Fifi!!!"

and that's when I woke up.

Fifi was a cat of mine when I was still working in the Bay Area. my ex-girlfriend and I adopted him when he was a kitten. he made us laugh all the time because of his playful and ridiculous personality, and sometimes he made us angry too as he always caused trouble... we later had 1 more cat and a dog and he played an excellent role as the big brother, until he was sent away.

I miss you Fifi. and daddy always loves you.

happy 牛 year

2009-01-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

美國的農曆新年向來沒什麼氣氛。

沒有炮竹，沒有春聯，沒有見到處處拱手拜年。

各行各業照常運作，感不到一絲喜氣。

...

可是我心裡，卻有著壓抑不住的歡欣呢。

nerdy bar joke

2008-11-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says "You're all idiots", and pours two beers.

saw this online today, loved it.

Barack made me $17

2008-11-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

so it was election night, and I had been watching real time results on TV in my restaurant all afternoon. Barack was leading from the beginning but it didn't change how anxious I felt.

Theresa told me there's a delivery order after she got off the phone, as much as I'd rather stay and glue myself to the TV set, I had to go. on the way to the customers house, the radio station suddenly was interrrupted with a brief message:

Barack won, according to CNN.

I arrived at the customer's house, and rang the door bell. I could here cheers from inside the house, then a guy came and opened the door.

"$22.57" I said.

"Obama won!!!" he shouted at me, maybe he wanted the entire quiet street to know the big news.

I was really trying to hold in my own excitement, and I smiled and replied "yes, I know. I just heard it on the radio too!"

"did you vote today?" I then asked.

"hells yeah!" handing over 2 $20 bills.

"out of $40..."

"keep it!" he stopped me, and said "Obama won!!!"

小女孩

2008-11-05T03:09:00.000-08:00

今天到 Costco 辦貨，事畢後買了個熱狗吃。我在添加醬料的時候，有一個看上去5或6歲的女孩子也在試著擠番茄醬到她的熱狗上。

那是一位白人女孩，滿頭的淡棕色捲髮。因為年齡的關係，無論她腳踮的多麼高，小小的手怎的也夠不到那擠醬汁的把手，卻還是堅持著一試再試。

"Would you like any help?" 我面無表情的低下頭問她。

她震動了一下，顯然在全神貫注之下沒想到一個滿臉鬍子的大哥哥會和她說話。

她抬起頭，用她清澈的大眼睛看著我，"Yes." 她說，且毫不猶豫的將手中的熱狗遞了過來。

我之後就走開了，找了個位子坐下來自顧自的吃了起來。當她離開的時候，又回頭看了我一眼，我才對她笑了笑。她一看我笑，也笑了，還揮了揮手，我看了若有所思。

小女孩，妳以後可別傷男孩子的心啊！

梅雪爭春

2008-10-08T13:53:00.000-07:00

南方新年裏有一天下大雪，
我到靈峰去探春梅的消息；
殘落的梅萼瓣瓣在雪裏掩，
我笑說這顏色還欠三分艷！

運命說：你趕花朝節前回京，
我替你備下真鮮艷的春景：
白的還是那冷翩翩的飛雪，
但梅花是十三齡童的熱血！

這是一首我一直都很喜歡的歌。歌詞是徐志摩 ^w 在1926年三月底作的一首新詩，原載於1926年4月1日《晨報副刊·詩鐫》第一期。當我第一次聽見這首歌時，它的旋律讓我誤認為這是一首抒情的歌曲。但是在研究了其歌詞以後，這首歌才給了我更大的震撼。

1926年3月18日，由政黨、工會、及許多來自80多所學校的學生共約五千多人發起了一項反對外國對中國制立各項不平等條約的請願活動。不幸的是，當時的北洋軍閥段祺瑞下令以武力鎮壓群眾，結果造成47人當場死亡及200多人受傷，其中死亡的竟包括一名13歲的孩子。這件事後來稱之為「三一八慘案 ^w」。

徐志摩當時即寫了這首詩反諷時事。

包美勝 - 梅雪爭春
[ song | lyrics ]

無聊到死

2008-09-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

日復一日，每天過的一樣的生活。

尤其是最近，老是覺得「遭蝦戲」似的，在泥巴中翻滾。

唉。

我要飛，我有大目標，這裡不是我的廟。

帶小孩

2008-07-24T04:47:00.000-07:00

我的經驗超多。

受不了

2008-03-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

以為最近天氣慢慢變暖和了，沒想到昨天晚上睡覺卻凍的要死。

冷的都只剩下九公分了。

我贏了

2008-02-18T04:27:00.000-08:00

我贏了，因為我能付出的比妳還多。

我贏了，因為只有我才擁有這些妳放棄的，回憶。

我贏了，因為我不需要扮演說出那些難以啟齒的傷人話語的那個人。

我贏了，因為我向來不會輸。

嗯，是我贏了。

三十歲的約定

2008-02-06T01:46:00.000-08:00

人生，總是無常的，好像永遠沒有辦法預知以後會發生的事情。

誰知道再過幾年又是什麼光景？

切！去他的人生！

不就比當歸大一點而已嘛。

眼淚

2008-02-04T03:09:00.000-08:00

妳哭了。

還以為妳只是耍性子呢，結果一轉身，眼淚竟然大滴大滴的掉了下來。

那視覺上的震撼，使我當時產生了一股莫名的衝動。

好像感到了妳的委屈似的，我的鼻子也一陣酸。

覺得似乎該做些什麼，但想了一想，卻發現我做什麼的立場都沒有。

只好，對妳說一些，

無關痛養的，

安慰話語。

變成保母

2008-02-02T03:10:00.000-08:00

我一個客人最近必須回台灣一個月。臨走時，她拜託我照顧他兩個上高中的女兒，每天接送上下學，並且幫她們打點午餐及晚餐。

這兩個妹妹上的是一所私立天主教高中，還必須穿制服。衣服的選擇其實還不算少，只是每一件都有他們學校的標誌和特定的顏色，從T-shirt長袖棉衣polo衫到短褲長褲裙子甚至外套都必須穿學校牌子的。我覺得這樣挺不錯的，就好像歐洲中古時期某公爵家裡所有的東西都印上特別的家徽，舉凡門窗雕花地磚壁紙信簽等等的一切。我就好想以後做一大堆我餐廳牌子的衣服甚至日常用品給餐廳員工用，那樣多棒啊。

「瓦吉克高精密工業集團口香糖」

「好吃的麵店釘書機」

「私立聖法蘭西斯天主教女子高級中學小籠包」

...

好像怪怪的，不過沒關係。

遲來的迷惘

2008-01-30T01:48:00.000-08:00

妳又回來了。

經過快要一年半的死寂，在妳眼中看到的，竟然還是，依戀。

妳還想從我這裡期盼什麼？

我已經好不容易放棄回程了啊！

...

繼續妳自己的步伐吧。或許，有一天，我們的路又會交錯。

但不是現在，嗯，不是現在。

沒辦法

2008-01-25T22:08:00.000-08:00

幾個月前買了本書。

包裝挺樸素，翻開來發現裡面竟是精裝的。

反正不及，我就慢慢的看，書裡的內容總是給我意想不到的驚喜，令我一直不捨放下。

幾個朋友告訴我別給這書評價那麼高，大家都說越到後面寫的越差，要我客觀點，還說我老是太快下定論，氣得我要死。他們全都看了一半就不看了，我心想你們書都不看完就說書差，是誰不客觀？

後來真的看到一些缺陷，可我故意忽略了那些，還是執著的覺得這書不錯。

最近看到了後半部，看見的盡是瑕疵。

唉。

是書裡的內容漸漸走下坡了麼？還是我聽了別人的意見，而影響了我的判斷？

這幾天，我還是規律式的想拿起書來看，但我自己也知道，我這麼做只是想證明自己不是錯的。

把書看完嗎？或許它最後是本好書。

疲哉病兮

2008-01-18T05:49:00.000-08:00

最近病了，感覺很難受。

餐廳和家裡的壓力有增無減。

表面上卻還是要顯得氣定神閒，很累。

今天有機會逃離一陣子，但個性中的黑暗面竟然差點放肆。

我還以為它已經不再是我的一部分了。

可能病累交加意志也變的薄弱了吧。

救救老大啊小黑！

花心

2008-01-12T02:58:00.000-08:00

來一個愛一個，來兩個愛一雙。

專情，不過是讓你更快心碎罷了。

lie

2008-01-09T03:31:00.000-08:00

my eyes must be deceiving me.

the light emitted was so very pretty and warm. I was drawn in uncontrollably, and for a short while, I was so certain that I would always want to be around this warmth and comfort.

but it faded all too quick.

seems like nothing has changed, though. I can't pinpoint where the difference is between now and yesterday; all I can feel is the absence of its magic I once loved.

友痴堪扁直須扁

2008-01-05T01:12:00.000-08:00

怎麼最近我身邊的人不是結婚就是鬧分手啊？

昨天晚上我一個死黨叫我去他家喝酒。他說他女友最近又發神經，一天到晚和她過不去不說，這兩天又懷疑他在外面和別的女人勾搭，現在兩個人要死要活的，搞得沸沸洋洋，連身邊的家人朋友都雞犬不寧。

他喝著說著，也不知道是不是酒精的緣故，竟哭了起來。看那樣子還是真的傷心呢。

可是他不知道，我早已從側面得悉，他和另外幾個女的關係很是曖昧，他卻還是固執的堅持他很愛他女友！

這傻包竟然將「愛」和「罪惡感」混淆了！

他那女友也非省油燈。就在去年也曾經出軌，被我朋友活逮。

我說老兄啊，你怎麼不張開眼睛看看，你們現在的感情只是一個用謊言支撐的空殼啊。你試想，這感情再過兩年會變怎樣？你以為會變的和你們剛交往時那麼香濃嗎？會雨過天青經過種種困難的歷練之後變得更堅定不移嗎？會在各種猜疑之後變得互相信任嗎？這答案是很明顯的，那你幹麻還在浪費時間？

當然，人都念舊，回憶也很是甜蜜，不過你大可不必用贖罪的心來死撐著這段情。越這樣下去只會讓你們兩個都感覺對方越虧欠自己，到最後連僅剩的甜蜜回憶都被抹黑或遺忘了。

我罵著罵著，這老兄竟睡著了，也不知道聽進去了多少。我踢了他兩腳看沒動靜，便自己回家了。

今天天氣很好

2008-01-03T04:19:00.000-08:00

可能是因為最近天氣太冷，氣壓低，濕度又高，路上總是迷濛一片。霧的後面雖不清晰，卻好像水彩畫一般讓你一看再看。

晚上的時侯尤其美幻萬千。

今天天氣卻意外的晴朗起來，東西都清晰了，可那憧憬確消散無蹤。

有些失落呢。

2008

2008-01-01T03:50:00.000-08:00

元旦的凌晨，無法入眠。

我應該很累的了。

可是心裡飛著一大堆雜七雜八的事情。

喜歡眼裡看到的，卻耳裡聽到無法不顧的，一些傳聞。

謠言，誠可畏也。

看著朋友一個接著一個的結婚了。

最近心裡常有一個聲音。

聲音既陌生，又新鮮。

「定下來吧。」

尤其是和她在一起的時候。

應該是羨慕？

最近思考能力似乎有減無增。

嗯好累。

新年快樂。

睡了。

丟臉

2007-12-27T00:28:00.000-08:00

有時候儘管自己在大方向努力往好的一面去做，還是會在小地方馬虎一下。

以為沒人看到的，沒想到被抓個正著！

真丟臉。

最愛法式香草冰淇淋

2007-12-23T15:07:00.000-08:00

妳如果沒來美國，或許早結婚了吧。

應該有一份穩定的工作，可能連孩子都有了呢。

可是妳來了。

在異國打滾，似乎也沒得到什麼真正想追求的東西。眼前好多好多看起來理所當然的「目標」，卻感覺那麼的遙遠和乏味。這麼久以來，從未為自己做出什麼決定的妳，竟被無形的壓力，被「為妳好」這理由，推到了這步田地。

夢，依舊在，可是模糊了。

笑，也掛著，可是膚淺了。

沒有改變的卻是時間，還是趕著趕著絲毫沒有為了妳的惶恐無助而等妳一等。

有時候貪婪的抓住高興的感覺，依戀著遠處的承諾，明明知道無情的繭在慢慢的將自己一層層包住，卻在同時試著說服自己會在最後一秒，安全降落在快樂的結局當中。

妳還在張望什麼？

要知道，巧克力糖漿千萬不能冷凍，在澆在冰淇淋上的時候也不能過量，這樣才能在每一口充分體會出香草的濃郁。

迷惘

2007-12-16T16:33:00.000-08:00

有時候，
我感覺似乎我自己都不知道自己在想什麼。

說的話，
和做的事，
常常在事後覺得太傻。

但是卻在做的當時，
好像被某種執著挾持著似的，
一昧的，
一廂情願的，
讓自己依著被憧憬模糊的視線下，

義無反顧。

如果

2007-09-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

如果一張圖畫能夠代表千言萬語
那我怎麼畫不出妳？
用盡所有的字句
也不能描繪我認識的妳

如果一副面容能夠發動千軍萬馬
那我怎麼不知道往哪裡去？
在我身邊的只有妳
我也只要擁有妳

而當我對生命的激情漸漸流乾時
妳來了
用妳自己
滋潤了我

如果一個人能同時出現在兩個地方
那我會待在妳身邊
今天和明天
一直陪著妳

如果這世界停止轉動到漸漸靜止
那我會在最後的時光摟著妳
然後世界慢慢到了盡頭

然後星星
一個一個的滅了

然後我和妳
就飛走了

成長

2007-09-03T19:01:00.000-07:00

前幾天去拜訪了一個朋友。

和她說著說著，從一些我和她的互動之中，發現她真的成長了。之前愛玩的她現在也變的沉穩了，相形之下，我還是一樣的任性不蔑。

慚愧啊！

太陽與月亮

2007-08-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

當他升起，她已準備隱去。

她出現的時候，他的時間也所剩無幾了。

好像孩子似的，不斷的繞著，追逐著。

只有在那晝夜交替的短暫的剎那，貪婪的，攜手玩耍。

是不是，每一次，被不可避免的距離拉開之後，心中會飄過一絲失落？

期待著那偶然的，不經意時抬頭看到的，日月同耀的光景。

eggs

2007-08-22T18:34:00.000-07:00

is it just me or freshly boiled eggs smell like fart?

...

ok it's just me.

想跳扭扭舞

2007-08-13T03:19:00.000-07:00

和好朋友聊天挺好。

當兩人相互了解到了一定的程度之後，連說話都變的輕鬆多了。不必小心的選擇字眼，不必擔心她會誤認你的立場，能夠完全打開心的暢談。

這樣的感覺真是讓人如沐春風啊！

給小貓咪的一封信

2007-08-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

「你不是中國還有男友嗎？」從一開始，我就問了妳。

「是啊！可是對他早就沒什麼感覺了。」妳說。

「那你們怎麼還不分手啊？」

「就是沒分囉，和他一起那麼久了，我怕說分他會傷心。」

...

這是什麼爛理由啊？我自己這麼想卻沒說出來，反正開心就行。

時間久了，妳真的也越加有趣，和妳一起的時間也日益增多。每天一起吃飯睡覺玩耍也變的稀鬆平常，而我卻沒有注意到，一個隱憂也跟著慢慢的浮現了。

妳變的比較依賴著我，並且不只一次的，明示或暗示著想讓我們的關係更進一層。記得有一次妳告訴我妳想我「就像想男朋友一樣的想」...

我心裏想著，妳又不是傻子，妳知道自己在做什麼嗎？妳現在這個樣子，和妳直接和男朋友分手比起來，他不知道會傷心多少倍呢！可是我沒有對妳多說，因為說了，無疑像是打了妳一耳光一般。

春季班快結束時，妳又問我「如果我暑假回中國，你會不會捨不得我啊？」

「想不想我在這裡陪你？」

我當時不置可否，但是後來和旁人聊天時，我知道了妳留在這裡，還是因為了我。

但是隨著這矛盾漸漸擴大，我們之間的問題也越來越多。之前因為開心才在一起的氣氛也已經蕩然無存，取而代之的是妳一昧的好勝心及佔有慾，連妳自己也承認了這病態的心理。妳之後甚至更做了一些妳一點立場都沒有的荒謬行為，我也不想再重複說著妳不斷演出的，一幕接著一幕的，鬧劇。

妳變的疑神疑鬼，變的患得患失。我在一旁冷眼旁觀妳的改變，暗自搖頭...

我的小貓咪到哪裡去了？

悲哀的是，妳將這種想得到卻得不到的不滿，藉著任性，以訴苦的方式發洩在朋友們身上。他們被妳虛假的關懷所迷惑，他們為妳編織的遭遇而氣憤，更有人接受了妳營造的虛幻的又綺麗的假象而為妳墜入情網。

然而，這樣的發洩卻不能帶給妳多大的滿足。

妳又開始告訴我妳和男友的感情近日不錯，試圖從我這裡得到一些反應。可是我除了替妳男友及其他人感到悲哀之外，剩下的，只有對於妳的墮落而產生的嘆息。

妳以看似改過自新的態度，理直氣壯的說著心中只有一人，但是之後卻仍每晚抱著我入眠。妳知不知道，我心中對妳是憐惜，又是鄙視啊！

「我愛我的男友啊，我只是有些事情沒有告訴他而已。」

小貓咪啊，聽聽妳自己說的話。妳媽告訴我，妳從小被她寵壞了，做事固執任性，這其實沒什麼大不了。但如果任性的同時還不明是非，那就會被看不起了。

試著對自己做的事負責，不要被自己編織的，一層層的，太複雜並且早已相互矛盾的謊言所束縛了。

我依然記得，一個單純的，被電動遊戲裡的簡單情節而感動的，雙眼含淚的小貓咪。

祝好夢。

我了解

2007-07-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

我了解你這種心情。

又很在意他，卻想留住面子，而在他面前顯出矜持。想要更接近他，卻在他和別人相處時無法掩飾對他的不滿或者自己的無能為力。想要毅然捨去，卻在做出決定時無法將他的影子從腦海中揮開。

心靈與肉體

2007-07-13T04:27:00.000-07:00

在盡情的發洩之後，剩下的是什麼？

是滿足？
還是失落？
是小心珍惜？
還是皺眉鄙棄？
是期待再次的激情？
還是後悔已犯的禁忌？
是建立了美好憧憬的未來？
還是領悟了腐敗不堪的現狀？
是否洋洋得意本身呼風喚雨好不快活？
抑或是黯然神傷自己驕縱成性人格盡失？

難啊... 妳可知道這不是愛？

久未更新

2007-07-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

好久沒在這裡寫東西了。

一切依舊，沒什麼變化。我還好，家人也好，餐廳仍有待加強。

今天晚上和妳說著話呢... 妳就哭了... 心裡真的過意不去。看似開朗堅強的妳也是有脆弱的面。好在終於破涕為笑。或許你一切都看的也忒重了。

打從心裡希望你能時時歡喜，並專注學業。

真心換絕情

2007-03-21T18:52:00.000-07:00

another oldie but goodie.

有時候，第一次聽見某一首歌會覺得它好好聽，可是不知怎麼的，卻在聽過一次之後忘了它。等到幾年後再偶然聽到它的時候又會像第一次一樣覺得「哇！好好聽！」

這就是其中一首，今天聽到的。

吳宗憲 - 真心換絕情
[ song | lyrics ]

year of the pig

2007-02-18T12:01:00.000-08:00

happy Chinese New Year ^w everyone! 新年快樂!

will you be my Valentine?

2007-02-13T09:56:00.000-08:00

[EN]

it's almost Valentine's Day again. This would be my 2nd Valentine-less Valentine's Day in a row this year.

it's kinda interesting how, ever since I was 16, I've never stopped celebrating V-Day. the girlfriend might have been different throughout the years, but there was always a special someone to spend the day with on that day. I've never had a break this long in more than a decade, hehehe...

seeing friends around me being busy preparing for V-Day with a happy grin, I do truely feel happy for them. but besides being envious, I also feel a bit lost at this point of my life. pondering when I'll be able to give something to someone I realy care about without holding back, too, and how I would enjoy making an effort in order to make her happy.

those happy grins do get annoying sometimes though.

before that day comes, I guess I can relax again this year, and happy Valentine's Day everyone!

[CH]

情人節將至，這會是我連續第二年沒有情人的情人節了。

想想也有趣，從我十六歲那一年開始，就毫無間斷的每年過著情人節。中間雖然有換過女友，但這一天總是能夠和一位特別的那個她渡過。十幾年來，從來沒有像這兩年這樣長的一段空檔，呵呵。

看著身邊的朋友們帶著幸福的表情忙前忙後，心中為他們高興不說，但在羨慕之外，也是感覺著一份落寞。想著什麼時候，我也能毫無保留的為我所愛的她付出。那時就是再累，心裏也一定是甜的吧！

不過，有時候他們那副他媽的幸福快樂樣還真欠打...

而在那日之前，我倒也樂的輕鬆，並先預祝各位情人節快樂哦！

累

2007-01-29T17:40:00.000-08:00

最近滿累的... 除了煩餐廳的事情之外，還要煩感情的事。

不過，時間長了就看得出來，有些人不斷的付出，而有些則是不斷的要求...

煩啊！

我想，或許我該從頭開始吧。我真的懶得再玩這種遊戲，還是簡簡單單的愛最令人嚮往。

year-end review & update

2006-12-31T20:34:00.000-08:00

time flies.

it's the end of the year again and I was just looking at an old post of mine at the end of 2005, and these were my goals for 2006:

- run the restaurant more efficiently

I've made a ton of changes to the restaurant this year. the floors changed, personnel shuffled, uniforms made, menu enriched, prices jacked... however, it's still not doing nearly as well as I have hoped. still much to do I guess...

- sort things out with Caren (or else!)

as mentioned earlier this year, things did sort out... we broke up. but I have to say, she was truely the very best girlfriend I've had. our goals in life may be different, but she meant a lot to me and she still does. I treasure her friendship and will always be there for her. (so Caren lemme know if you need me to beat up any of your future dates heheh)

- start working out

I didn't start... unless you count weekly visit to Costco carrying 300-600 lbs. of goods per trip a workout.

- pick up an instrument (garage band here we come!)

I didn't pick up anything... unless you count... nevermind I don't have an excuse for this one.

so as you can see... a year has passed and I basically accomplished none of the goals I set for myself. on the other hand, here's what I did do this year:

- crashed my car
- dated a few girls
- visited some cool places with friends & family

but nothing really special or groundbreaking here... and last, but not least, a set of new goals that I will try to reach for 2007:

- run restaurant better (from 2006)
- pick up an instrument (from 2006)
- start working out (from 2006)
- buy a house
- treat family better
- be happy

until next time, happy new year everyone. ^^

jijijijiji

2006-12-16T16:37:00.000-08:00

《季姬擊雞記》

季姬寂，集雞，雞即棘雞。棘雞飢嘰，季姬及箕稷濟雞。雞既濟，躋姬笈。季姬忌，急咭雞。雞急，繼圾几。季姬急，即籍箕擊雞。箕疾擊几伎，伎即齏。雞嘰集几基，季姬急極屐擊雞。雞既殛，季姬激，即記《季姬擊雞記》。

如同《施氏食獅史》一般，這一篇文章也非常有趣。每字的現代標準漢語 ^w 發音都是 "ji"。白話譯文如下：

季姬感到寂寞，羅集了一些雞來養，是那種出自荊棘叢中的野雞。野雞餓了嘰嘰叫，季姬就拿竹箕中的小米喂它們。雞吃飽了，跳到季姬的書上。季姬不喜，急忙叱趕雞。雞嚇急了，就接著將几桌上也弄髒了。季姬更著急了，就以書箱投擊野雞。書箱卻打中了几桌上的伎俑，那伎俑便粉碎了。雞躲在几桌底下亂叫，季姬更急著用木屐來打雞。雞於是被打死了，季姬心中激動，便寫了《季姬擊雞記》。

shishishishishi

2006-12-16T15:59:00.000-08:00

《施氏食獅史》

石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。氏時時適市視獅。十時，適十獅適市。是時，適施氏適市。氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅。試釋是事。

這是一篇由趙元任 ^w 所寫的很有意思的文章。全文共九十一字（連標題九十六字），每字的現代標準漢語 ^w 發音都是 "shi"。白話譯文如下：

石室裏住著一位詩人姓施，愛吃獅子，決心要吃十隻獅子。他常常去市場看獅子。十點鐘，剛好有十隻獅子到了市場。那時候，剛好施氏也到了市場。他看見那十隻獅子，便放箭，把那十隻獅子殺死了。他拾起那十隻獅子的屍體，帶到石室。石室濕了水，施氏叫侍從把石室擦乾。石室擦乾了，他才試試吃那十隻獅子。吃的時候，才發現那十隻獅子，原來是十隻石頭的獅子屍體。試試解釋這件事吧。

緣份

2006-12-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

她實在是一個好特別的女孩子啊！卻偏偏遇上了我這個壞蛋...

Fidelity

2006-12-09T14:05:00.000-08:00

heard this on the radio and I really liked it. listen to it, it gets really funny if you replace "heart" with something else that rhymes...

Fidelity - Regina Spektor
[ song | lyrics ]

new family member

2006-12-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

here's a short video clip of my new cat, Lulu. ^^

we (Dave and I) picked her up outside Dave's parent's house on Thanksgiving day. she's a small short-hair female cat. 1 thing worth mentioning is that, as pointed out by Berkat, Lulu is a calico cat. that means Lulu has 3 colors on her, while most of the time cats only have 1 solid color or 2 colors in stripes or spots. this rare phenomenon happens only in cats with combination of specific genetic traits, and it only happens with female cats. cats of this coloration are believed to bring good luck in the folklore of many cultures.

Lulu is very gentle and not afraid of people. her easy going personality has already earned herself acceptance from Mimi & Bubu at home. Bubu is already being a awesome big bro and plays with her on a daily basis.

welcome to the family Lulu! ^^

overhaul

2006-12-01T17:52:00.000-08:00

although it doesn't seem like it, but over the past month or so I've made some major changes to this blog:

first is the addition of labels. this is one of the many new features made available from Blogger beta and it took me some time to label each of the blog entries. by applying relevant labels to each post, users can now look through and locate past articles more efficiently by clicking on the desired subject in the "labels" section located at the center column. so say you want to see all the past articles I wrote in Chinese, all you need to do is to click on the "中文" label and it'll display all the posts written in Chinese, very convenient.

second change is the rewrite of all the custom stuff I previously had on the blog. I know my blog still looks more or less the same as before, but all the custom items I had, from "things I digg", "syndication", "my other stuff", to smaller stuff like CSS definitions, header & footer, etc. are rewritten as modules so that they can be dynamically loaded and moved around.

last but perhaps the most obvious change is the addition of SOTM (Song of the Moment) module, a Flash music player sitting on the right-most column on top of my profile. it allows instantaneous playback of music upon entering the site without having to go through downloading the original mp3 file. I also removed all the songs I previously posted with other blog entries and created separate entries for each of them with the new label "Song of the Moment", so that they can be located more easily.

besides these major changes, the move to Blogger beta also adds lots of other smaller improvements. for example, when you get to the end of the page, you can now keep going and click on "Older Posts" and previous posts will be loaded into view dynamically without jumping to another page, and the "Blog Archive" section on the right-most column is a lot more useful now with its new collapse/expand navigation.

香水有毒

2006-12-01T17:48:00.000-08:00

a pretty song, though sad.

胡楊林 - 香水有毒
[ song | lyrics ]

happy birthday to me!

2006-11-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

bro called.
worked all day.
1 friend msged me.
daddy didn't know.
no cake.

business did great today tho. we placed an ad on World Journal ^w and it's quite effective. I also finished reading a book today, plus I finally found and downloaded a couple of songs I've been looking for a long time.

so al in all, it's a happy birthday this year. ^^

Do You Remember?

2006-11-16T13:20:00.000-08:00

oldie but goodie. ^^

Phil Collins ^w - Do You Remember?
[ song | lyrics ]

誰動了我的琴弦

2006-10-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

this is a nice song. reminds me of some songs by Jay.

周筆暢 ^w - 誰動了我的琴弦
[ song | lyrics ]

new feed!

2006-10-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

for those feed ^w freaks out there, I added a new feed button to my artwork gallery on the side nav under "my feeds".

enjoy! ^^

小城大事

2006-10-17T19:50:00.000-07:00

楊千嬅 ^w - 小城大事
[ song | lyrics ]

好心

2006-10-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

上個禮拜發生了一些有趣的事。

一般來說，見到車子故障需要幫助的情形並不太多，但上個禮拜卻讓我遇到了兩次。

第一次是在高速公路上，在路邊看到一個扁輪胎的 Audi A4，旁邊站著一位看起來憂心重重的妹妹。我剛好在最右道，所以既然順便，就幫幫她吧。

"got a flat tire? need any help putting on the spare?" 我開到路肩下車問她。

"no, it's fine."

她的回答心不在焉，表情有點臭屁。我心裡不是滋味，想我好心相助，妳這是啥態度？可是轉念一想我既然來了，還是好人做到底罷。

"are you sure? it's only going to take a few minutes." 我耐著性子擠著笑容的說。

"it's okay, my BOYFIREND is coming." 她故意在 "boyfriend" 上面加重語氣，說完眼睛一翻，繼續打她的手機。

她媽的！

我搖了搖頭上車呼嘯而去，不禁笑了出來。這瘋婆子還以為我在搭訕呢！現在人竟然已視相互猜忌為等閒，勾心鬥角為流行了嗎？

第二次發生在晚上。我剛關了餐廳的門，準備去我好友 Lon 的家赴飯局。上車的時候餘光瞄到隔壁的雜貨店老闆也正要離開，可是他的車子卻怎麼都發不動。

這個雜貨店老闆是新來的，最近幾個月才開始營業，可是他為人卻很小氣。他甚至有幾次將他店中大量的垃圾堆放在我們餐廳的旁邊，為此我們還起了好幾次小衝突。

我已經遲了，再加上和他有嫌隙，所以當時想假裝沒看到。但不知怎的，我發動車子之後竟直接開到他的車子旁邊，並向他伸出援手。

長話短說，他最後終於發動了車子，感激之情溢於言表。談話之中發現對方都是回教徒，他更是興奮的握著我的手說著 "we're brothers now!"

有趣吧？兩次助人，結局竟然都如此的出乎意料。友善的態度換來了高傲與不領情，而猶豫的援手卻化解了隔閡並換取了信任。

artwork

2006-10-02T19:35:00.000-07:00

added a new link on the side nav: artwork

I wanted to post my old drawings online for a very long time but I never got to do it (lazy). this past weekend, I finally created an account on deviantART and posted 2 of my old work. they were both done more than 10 years (1995) ago!!!

I tried to "enhance" them a bit by cleaning them up and adjusting the color, contrast, etc. and I think they turned out ok. I'll try to scan or take more pictures of my other stuff and upload them whenever I can.

I also discovered something while doing all this: my little cousin Nafisah (16) also has her own deviantART account and she has a ton of awesome stuff available in her gallery! I knew that she likes to draw but I had no idea that she is this serious. one thing I'd like to mention is that most of her work is original and that's hard to come by. go check it out and be prepared to have your souls devoured.

cheaters

2006-09-14T17:33:00.000-07:00

5 years ago, back when I was still working for Dialpad, I dated a girl C. at the time, we were both at the end of our long term relationships. we hooked up pretty quickly mainly because we were both lonely. feelings were exchanged and promises were made; however, that was only the beginning of a big mess.

turned out, Vincent, C's old boyfriend, didn't know/think that it was over for him and C, and sadly, C wasn't exactly sure either.

she ended up going back to V, then back to me, and this process repeated several times before it all ended in bad terms. imagine the emotional stress that all of us had to go through during that time.

what do you think? I know, when it comes to feelings and emotions, one sometimes get weak and lose the ability to make sound decisions. his or her values can get blurred, leading to harmful things done to one another, and in this case:

she cheated on V with me, then cheated on me with V.

旅行的意義

2006-09-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

陳綺貞 ^w - 旅行的意義
[ song | lyrics ]

Napa trip

2006-08-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

this past Saturday, Rene, Queenie, Lon, and I went and visited the Sterling Vineyards and Beringer Vinyards in Napa Valley, and it was a very fun and relaxing trip.

check out the photos.

massive photo update

2006-08-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

[EN]

for the past week or so, I spent some time going through photos I took over the years, and uploaded them to my Picasa Web Albums account, a new test service by Google ^w.

this was a pretty big project as I have lots of photos (3.53 GB, almost 5000 photos) in my hard drive, and it took a while to go through all of them and pick out the better ones to upload online for all to see.

I'm almost done. there are a few more sets of photos and the collection should be somewhat complete. I hope they'll allow users to "tag" the pictures in the future so it'd be easier for people to locate specific pictures.

[CH]

這一兩個禮拜我用了一些時間整理我這些年來拍的照片，並將它們上傳到我的 Picasa Web Albums 帳戶內。這是另一項新的 Google ^w 的測試服務。

由於我硬碟上有很多的照片 (3.53 GB，近五千張)，這其實是一樁蠻大的工程，而將照的比較好的照片從中一張一張挑選出來再上傳公諸於世的確花了我不少時間。

我已經快要大功告成了。只需要將剩下的最後幾組照片整理出來就可算是完工了。希望他們以後能讓使用者 "tag" 每張照片以便於搜尋特定的照片。

http://picasaweb.google.com/walitung

I don't take as many pictures as before anymore. mainly due to laziness, lack of special events, and need for a better digital camera. I currently have my eyes set on either the new Leica C-Lux 1 (ultra compact, $500 ESP) or the Canon Digital Rebel XT (SLR, $700 ESP). the good thing about the Canon is that it takes awesome pictures, a great camera to get if I want to get into photography (which I do), and that you can get it from Costco at the moment (meaning ridiculously unreasonably lenient return policy), however, the Leica also produces pictures with very accurate colors, has built-in wide-angle lens, and has a small footprint. at the moment, I'm leaning more towards the Leica because of its size (and lower price tag), but the Canon certainly is a very tempting choice as well.

anyway, feel free to browse through the photo albums and leave some comments or what not. they are sorted chronologically with the most recent albums on top, and see if you're in some of the pictures!

here's a side-by-side comparison picture of my daddy and I when we were 2 or 3 years old.

don't we look alike?

light-year

2006-08-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

lately I came across a few conversations that involves the term "light-year", and this is what I found: most people have no idea what light-year means.

it's not a measurement of time!

light-year (ly) is a measurement of distance.

1 ly is the distance light travels in 1 year, or, more specifically, the distance light travels in vacuum in 1 terrestrial year (365.25 days), which is equal to approximately 9,460,528,404,879 kilometer, or 5,878,482,164,161 miles.

here's an article from Wikipedia on light-year.

The light-year is often used to measure distances to stars. In astronomy, the preferred unit of measurement for such distances is the parsec which is defined as the distance at which an object will generate one arcsecond of parallax when the observing object moved one astronomical unit perpendicular to the line of sight to the observer. This is equal to approximately 3.26 light years. The parsec is preferred because it can be more easily derived from, and inter-compared with, observational data. However, outside scientific circles, the term light-year is more widely used by the general public.

u r teh suck!!!1!!1

2006-07-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

why do people lose the ability to type and use proper grammar when they're angry?

2006 mid-year wish list

2006-07-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

the other day I was still making the mistake of dating my checks "2005" and now we're already in the later half of 2006!

amazing.

dude the 1st half of this year is nothing but chaotic for me. a ton of things happened to my restaurant (changes), my car (it's gone), my friends (lots of long stories), my family (headaches), and myself.

and I have no idea if all the craziness is about to settle down or it's just the beginning of something bigger.

OK, ambiguity is not my cup of tea either, I would spell everything out if I could, but those subjects that I mentioned above are either too touchy to talk about, or I'm just too lazy to type them out. so let me switch to something more solid.

let me tell you what I want, for now.

a) I want better business!

I recently jacked up the price for the restaurant. it's not too much more expensive, but enough to generate negative feedback from the ghetto community where the restaurant is located. plus, ball games from last month (NBA & World Cup) was killing the business as well. oh and also the beginning of summer vacation means less customers, not to mention the Sacramento summer heat (100+°F/38+°C) is preventing people from coming out to buy food. friends and family have given me suggestions, and we have come up with a few ways to combat the situation. 1) re-introduce the snow cones to fight the summer heat, and 2) present daily specials and other deals to regain/attract interest of those who are frugal-minded. special thanks go to mommy for her unconditional support and Lon for his economical(?) analysis and brainstorming of ways to gain more biz.

b) I want new car!

after the lost of Juliette, I now use my old red truck for everything. I know I haven't talked about the lost of my Jetta yet, and I will save it for later with pictures. the truck is awesome for going to Costco and carrying hundreds of pounds of goods, but not so good for traveling to places. I had to use the truck to visit David in LA and the driving was not as fun as I imagined it would be. I sometimes question its reliability too. I do look forward to this one car that's going to be introduced later this year, made by Bavarian Motor Works ^w. it's the new 3-series coupe, with their all new twin-turbo straight-6 engine, producing 301 HP and 295 ft-lbs of torque... thing is, this will be one expensive automobile. I know it will be a TON of fun driving it, but I don't know if I can afford it... I'm assuming the price tag of this bad boy will be in the high 40s, if not 50 (in thousands of US dollars). the more practical choice, however, would be this full-sized truck that Toyota ^w will be introducing later this year or early next year, the all new Tundra. it's a giant truck that's marginally bigger than all the current full-sized trucks out there, and the good thing is that Toyota will come out with a version equipped with a hybrid V-8 engine. so that it'll be very powerful, without eating too much gas. I've heard that Ford ^w is also developing their next hybrid F-150 truck, with an amazing 60 MPG fuel consumption in the city! so, the more practical choice is clearly a new truck, so that I can still use it for all my shopping tasks, and it's reliable and comfortable enough for long distance travels. and if I get the truck instead of the bimmer, maybe I'll slap on those giant monster truck wheels and I can run over any small car that gets in my way!

c) I want my own place!

this one is a long(er) shot... I am thinking about buying my own condo when I make enough money, but then this could take a little while. it all depends on how good restaurant biz is I guess. but in the mean time if I add a shower in the back bathroom of restaurant, then I can live in there! (ok I'm kidding, or am I?)

d) I want wife!

y'all remember my April Fool's joke about getting engaged right? whaaaaaaaa!?!? you thought it was real? hahahahahahah silly you! anyhoooo... although it was a joke, you have no idea how much I wished that it was true. sometimes, I just wish that some nice young lady will come along, we get to know each other, fall in love, and get married and live happily ever after. but then again who doesn't want that?

there are many other things I want at the moment, but these are some of the big items on my list heheh. maybe I can talk about the smaller things another time.

alrighty, I guess this concludes my rant for the recent months. until next time, I bid y'all zaijian.

November Rain

2006-07-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

Guns N' Roses ^w - November Rain
[ song | lyrics ]

What It Takes

2006-07-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

Aerosmith ^w - What It Takes
[ song | lyrics ]

the worst poem in the universe

2006-06-16T10:32:00.000-07:00

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occasionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

快樂

2006-06-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

Queenie，我的一個朋友，最近在她的 blog 談到了她新的獨立生活的感想，也說到了「快樂」。她說她曾經很容易擁有的快樂，似乎越來越難得到。『是不是年紀越大，快樂就越遠？』我看完了之後頗有所思，想到了人對於快樂的嚮往與追求，我想的並不是只於 Queenie 的個例，而是快樂本身的涵義，以及一個人一生中，在追求的過程中，對它的定義是否會有所改變。

我發現有許多人常常將「快樂」與「高興」混淆在一起，這是錯誤的。雖然每個人對於某些名詞的解釋會有出入，但我認為「高興」代表的是比較暫時性的喜悅，一種在霎時充滿的對於事物的反應，像是聽到好消息，或者一段與家人或喜愛的人度過的愉快時光等等。高興的感覺通常不會隨著年齡改變，不過表示的方式可能會很不同。例如我高興的時候就不再像我六歲時揮舞著雙手又跳又叫。

然而「快樂」則是比較難以形容，也比較難以捉摸。它並不像高興發生的那麼突然，而且對我來說，它的重要性隨著我年齡的增長而日漸減少。或者，我可以說，快樂的本質隨著我年齡的增加而改變了。

基於從小看的故事、小說、電視、及電影灌輸給我的訊息，有一段很長的時間我一直認為，找到一個我愛的女孩子並得到完美的愛情，就能夠給我完全的並且永久的快樂。不過，無數的、重複不斷的經驗終於使我從這個錯覺中醒悟。

我從小時候一直到我二十七、八歲左右，大部分的時間是快樂的。我有個樂觀的個性，而在我身邊的人也向來認為我是個快樂的人。不過近兩年來，我有時會進入一種低落的心理狀態。這憂鬱的感覺來的時候，我比較喜歡獨處，並將自己從家人及朋友身邊拉開。這個情形大部分並沒有任何觸發的事件，它來自無名，而通常一段時間之後，去向無蹤。

有趣的是，我即使在憂鬱時期中，也能感到高興，甚至快樂。去年底，曾有一段心情非常低落的時期，剛好是在我生日的那段時間。在生日的當天，我的一些好朋友們結夥來家裡為我慶生。那天與家人朋友度過的時間真的讓我非常開心，然而，那憂鬱帶來的陰影卻絲毫未因此消失。這兩種感覺同時的、卻又分開的在我心中對立著，而且，我並不認為這種情形算是不正常。我們心裡總是在同時有著不同的、互相矛盾的心情與感受，可是只要有任何一點點負面的感覺飄忽在意識中，我們就斷論自己不夠快樂。

在當今的社會，尤其在美國，存在著一種無形的壓力。一種「你應該快樂而且還要表現出來」的壓力。而且，如果你並不快樂，或者只是處於心情不好不壞的狀態，這個壓力會逼你去假裝你很快樂。現在已經沒有一家商店不規定員工必須總是笑容滿面，而且如果員工不夠親切愉快，還可能會有被請另謀高就之虞。

還有，每一個廣告的背後，不管是洗潔精或是治便秘藥或是汽車廣告，都藏著一個潛伏的訊息，就是「擁有這個產品就能使你快樂」，反之「沒有它你就不會快樂」。巧妙的將該產品偽裝成追求快樂的過程中重要的一環。

而在現在這種「每個人都是獨立的個體」、「自己必須對自己的快樂負責」的風氣中，只要你的行為有絲毫的與正常﹝或許該說「一般」﹞有所偏差，你就可能被視為有毛病，而且如果你想繼續快樂的話就應該趕快尋求解決的方案。

如此看來，好像所有的人都不斷的被鼓勵著去找到一個抽象的快樂之島。但是我想，如果我們能夠摒棄外來的不切實際的引導，並且自己為快樂做出定義，我們或許已經到了。

有時候一些朋友說我對於某些事物太挑剔，我以前甚至有一個女友離開了我，因為她說我對她太過苛求。其實他們說的一點都沒錯，可是我不但覺得這沒有什麼不對，我還因為擁有這種個性感到非常高興。大部分的時候我其實是個很隨便的人，但是我對於在乎的人事物常常就會有很高的標準，這種標準能夠使我想要將事情做的更好。

然而每個人擁有的個性與性情總是會有不同。從外人眼中看到的無意義的要求或憤怒，在當事人的內心卻認為是完全合理並值得關切的問題。我從小就常常聽到甲對乙說：「你別那麼嚴肅嘛！放輕鬆點！」好像假定乙不快樂似的。可是甲有沒有想過，或許對乙來說，為了自己狂熱的事物做認真的努力，正是他對於快樂的定義呢？而有些人因為天生有著比較輕鬆活潑的個性，讓他們表面看來比別人快樂，其實卻並不然。一個小丑外表快樂而內心悲哀的故事已經很不新鮮了。

大部分的時候，我們都處於一種「情緒中立」的狀態，而我認為，這個狀態可以視為一個合理的作為快樂的定義。一直以來，我都認為應該在通往快樂之路上尋求刺激。而漸漸的，能讓我快樂的因素變的越來越簡單、平凡。一晚充足的睡眠、一頓美味的午餐、一段與好友度過的時間、和我的貓玩耍、寫我的 blog、以及看見我的餐廳正常運作等等，這些事情都足以使我快樂。

所以，這就是我的結論。這世上並不存在一種完全的、純粹的快樂。我仍然與我父母同住、我現在還是單身、我的餐廳仍然利潤不足某些支出、更有一些其他感情上的困擾，這些都是挺重要甚至嚇人的大事，但是在同時，我仍然認為現在的我非常快樂。

生活並不簡單。而且對於大部分的我們來說，並沒有什麼東西是易得的。可是人卻往往能在同時體驗到莫大的快樂，或者不快樂，那就得看你了。

note: this is the first time since I don't know how long ago I write something up in Chinese, aside from family letters. I found that I encounter much difficulty trying to organize the sentenses as I often times first construct them in my head in English. I'm happy with the results, though, despite the fact that I still think it's not very good writing, and many things can be improved. this was a good excercise for me. ^^

loose tiger in plaza

2006-05-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

龐恭與太子質於邯鄲，謂魏王曰：『今一人言市有虎，王信之乎？』曰：『不信。』『二人言市有虎，王信之乎？』曰：『不信。』『三人言市有虎，王信之乎？』王曰：『寡人信之。』龐恭曰：『夫市之無虎也明矣，然而三人言而成虎。今邯鄲之去魏也遠於市，議臣者過於三人，願王察之。』龐恭從邯鄲反，竟不得見。

this is one of my favorite stories. it's from the book 韓非子, a book written by a famous Chinese philosopher, 韓非, more than 2,200 years ago.

here's how the story goes:

Pang Gong (a government official of the Wei kingdom) and the Prince of Wei were heading to the city of Han Dan.

before they left, Pang said to the Lord of Wei "Would you belive it, if someone comes to you, and says that there's a tiger loose in the plaza?"

"I wouldn't." said the Lord.

"What if another person comes to you and says the same thing?" said Pang.

"I still wouldn't."

"A third person comes to you, and says that there's a tiger in the plaza. Now would you believe?" insisted Pang.

"I guess I would believe." the Lord concluded.

"It's quite obvious that it is very unlikely for a tiger to be in the plaza, but mere three people can make it seem true. Now," Pang said, "Han Dan is a lot further from here than the plaza, and there're more than three who would surely badmouth me while I'm not around. I wish the Lord can take this into consideration."

turned out, after Pang came back from Han Dan, the Lord of Wei did get influenced by the rumors, and refused to see Pang.

DVD Collection

2006-05-02T12:10:00.000-07:00

I spent some time a while back putting together a list of DVDs I own (60+ titles). turned out, I only really liked about half of these movies, and many of those actually have better editions available in stores. interestingly, I have another stack of (backed up) DVDs, which contains movies I actually tend to view more often than the ones on the list.

the DVD collection of my friend, Chris, however, is more than impressive (400+ titles). this man knows what he's getting (most of the time, hehe), and with his ever-growing appetite for (but not limited to) more DVDs, he earned his infamous nickname amongst friends, Chrisbuster.

thing is, with those new emerging high-definition DVD formats, I'm guessing I will need to re-purchase a big part of those titles I already own, and I can't imagine how much of a nightmare it might be for those who already own a sizable collection of titles.

Enjoy Coca-Cola

2006-04-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

the flavor of Coca-Cola ^w has changed over time. I guess they think the current flavor tastes better or something, but personally, I liked Coca-Cola a lot better when I was a little kid.

but guess what?

the other day I found this place, and they were selling Coca-Cola in good old green glass bottle, manufactured in Mexico, and yes, using its original formula! I got 2 cases of them and man it was so tasty!

it felt like gaining back a lost piece of childhood.

wonders of life

2006-04-01T01:40:00.000-08:00

ever since I took over QQ Express, there has been talks about opening branches. A family friend in Taiwan who is also in the restaurant business is very interested in partnering with me and opening a branch in Taiwan. and I have been talking to the daughter, Samantha, about details on the potential partnership.

for the past week or so, the friendship between Samantha and I have progressed at an incredible speed that seemed almost unreal to me. it might be hard to believe, but to cut the story short, I'll be visiting Taiwan within this month and consider the possibilities of getting engaged and bringing her over here to the US.

shocking eh?

now put your jaws where they belong and congratulations to me! ^^

買花

2006-03-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

『阿婆，我要這一束！』

黑衫黑褲的老婦人把我要的二十幾支桃紅色的玫瑰從桶裡取出，交給小孫兒，轉身去找錢。

小孫兒大概只有五歲，清亮的眼睛，透紅的臉頰，咧嘴笑著，露出幾顆稀疏的牙齒。他很慎重、很歡喜地接過花束，抽出一根草繩綁花。花枝太多，他的手太小，草繩又長，小小的人兒又偏偏想打個蝴蝶結，手指繞來繞去，這個結還是打不起來。

『死嬰那，這麼憨慢！卡緊，郎客在等哪！』老祖母粗聲罵起來，還推他一把。

『沒要緊，阿婆，阮時干真多，讓伊慢慢來。』

安撫了老祖母，我在石階上坐下來，看著這個五歲的小男孩，還在很努力地打那個蝴蝶結：繩子穿來穿去，剛好可以拉的一刻，又鬆了開來，於是重新再來：小小的手慎重地捏著細細的草繩。

淡水的街頭，陽光斜照著窄巷裡這間零亂的花鋪。

回教徒和猶太人在彼此屠殺，衣索匹亞的老弱婦孺在一個接一個的餓死，紐約華爾街的證券市場擠滿了表情緊張的人……

淡水的街頭，陽光斜照著窄巷裡這間零亂的花鋪。

醫院裡，醫生正在響亮的哭聲中剪斷血淋淋的臍帶；鞭炮的煙火中，年輕的男女正在做永遠的承諾；後山的相思林裡，墳堆上的雜草在雨潤的土地裡正一吋一吋的往上抽長……

我，坐在斜陽淺照的石階上，望著這個眼睛清亮的小孩專心地做一件事；是的，我願意等上一輩子的時間，讓他從從容容地把這個蝴蝶結紮好，用他五歲的手指。

孩子你慢慢來，慢慢來。

update

2006-02-07T21:57:00.000-08:00

about a week ago, some lady walked into my restaurant. I was playing Jay Chow at the time (all the time). the lady stood there, listened to the music for a moment, and asked "is this Oriental rock-n-roll?"

altho some may find the question offensive, I thought it was funny, and I replied "yes, it's Chinese pop."

anyhoo...

lots have happened since my last post.

- Caren and I broke up

this is the one most devastating event that happened to me in the recent years. there was no big fights, no emotion swings, and no drama. but maybe because it seemed so calm from the outside, the chaos it stirred up inside really got amplified exponentially.

I hate it! ; ;

- Dumpling King (水餃大王) was shut down

after 10+ years of semi-underground operation, the Dumpling King was shut down by USDA during a raid at their factory some time mid-January. this is big because not only the owners are close friends to my fmaily, but also they were the provider of potstickers/dumplings/wontons of 80% ~ 90% of all Chinese restaurants in the Sacramento area. they have worked very hard over the years and made a good name for themselves. it's a shame that things had to end this way...

- QQ Express is evolving

my restaurant now opens 7 days a week! after replacing a sub-standard worker (not Queenie) with a much more able one, the work load in the kitchen is distributed more evenly leading to more efficient operation, and I can thus stay open 7 days a week with the cooks taking days off by way of rotation. and the short-staffing problem in the dining area after Queenie's leave for a bigger and better place (boo) was also remedied by my obtaining a new, very hard working girl, Isabel.

(now I get no day off and) I really look forward to making the restaurant do better. ^^

- Dave is back in Sac for a month!

yay!

...

and he'll be here until early March. ^^

his new girlfriend (like he has tons) will be visiting Sac some time this month as well. I look forward to meeting her. ^^

晴天

2006-02-07T21:30:00.000-08:00

here's a song I often listen to recently, it's a simple song but it moved me.

周杰倫 ^w - 晴天
[ song | lyrics ]

30

2006-01-02T00:23:00.000-08:00

it's long overdue. ^^;

but here are some of the pics from my 30th birthday gathering:

group shot of friends
I wasn't planning to celebrate my birthday this year, but some of the caring friends still came over and we had cake and lots of fun. thanks guys!!! ^^

1 shot, 3 candles out!
this is the birthday present Vic got me. you can shoot out "air balls" using this gun, even up to 10 ft away! it's really awesome. and it worked exceptionally well when I used it to blow out the candles. had I held the gun any closer I might blow the cake away entirely.

cake time!

more cake time!

James Bond, Bond girl, and pet...

you can view the photo collection in its entirety here. enjoy! ^^

end of year (this is getting old but clearly I can't recycle this title for long)

2005-12-31T19:50:00.000-08:00

I saw Berkat's thoughts on between years and I thought it's a good idea to jot down my goals/hopes/dreams for 2006 also...

- run the restaurant more efficiently
- sort things out with Caren (or else!)
- start working out
- pick up an instrument (garage band here we come!)

that's all I can think of for now... ^^; I'll edit this post if I think of some more haha. lemme know what are your goals!

end of year (really!)

2005-12-30T14:19:00.000-08:00

ok ok... it's really here.

the end of 2005.

so many things happened this year:
(sorted roughly by relevance, more important things first)

world
- tsunami
- hurricane Katrina & Rita
- bird flu
- death of Pope
- bombing of London
- leak of CIA

personal
- owning a restaurant
- bro got married
- turning 30

hmmm... what matters to you most this year? don't be shy now haha. ^^

happy new year everyone!

end of year

2005-12-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

is it me or is 2005 passing faster than other years?

boss

2005-11-11T02:46:00.000-08:00

today (well yesterday) was my 1st day as owner of my restaurant.

things operated as usual: food cooked, customers satisfied, money flowed... nothing really different or special happened today at all.

but I felt so different.

it felt a bit heavier, and I told myself to breathe a few times - the invisible monster called responsibility landed on my shoulders comfortably, leaving its previous master drunk at her friends house tonight.

Halloween

2005-10-31T10:40:00.000-08:00

October 31st, the eve of All Saints' Day, observed with traditional games and customs. the word comes from medieval England's All Hallows' eve (Old Eng. hallow = "saint"). however, many of these customs predate Christianity, going back to Celtic practices associated with November 1st - the beginning of winter and the Celtic new year. witches and other evil spirits were believed to roam the earth on this evening, playing tricks on human beings to mark the season of diminishing sunlight. bonfires were lit, offerings were made of dainty foods and sweets, and people would disguise themselves as one of the roaming spirits, to avoid demonic persecution. survivals of these early practices can be found in countries of Celtic influence today, such as the United States where children go from door to door in costumes demanding "trick or treat."

Wikipedia has another (slightly more detailed) definition of Halloween.

eNFp

2005-10-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

last night I took "the better personality test", Jung - Myers-Briggs typological approach, and this is what it concluded about me:

The Portrait of the Champion Idealist (eNFp)

The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and extraverted when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.

Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety. In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive. All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.

some of the things described above are amazingly accurate, and it freaked me out a bit. you can take the test here, have fun!

adam's apple

2005-10-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was 14 or 15, Berkat used to like to play with my adam's apple. he would tell me to swallow, then put his finger immediately under it trying to prevent it from dropping back down to its original position...

now even Berkat himself have had an adam's apple of his own for 10+ years...

DIAT

2005-10-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

I just took this (popular) personality test again, and I'm still the same person as I was 5 years ago, a Dominant Introverted Abstract Thinker. (good thing? bad thing?)

You are an EXPERIMENTER (DIAT). Although you're slightly shy (admit it!), you love control. When a problem comes across your way, you stomp on it swiftly and decisively. You are bothered easily by failure in others and failure in yourself. You don't like people that you don't think are intelligent. Rather than arguing with them, however, you would just as soon ignore them altogether.

In relationships, you have a strong heart. And because you're introverted, people take you as someone they can trust. But the fact is that in addition to solving problems, you like to create them.

You're a good person at heart, but then again, who isn't?

I find this fun. you can take the test here. we get to see how compatible we are with our friends too! the email I used for the test is walitung@gmail.com. ^^

野地噴血（兒）

2005-10-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

my current favorite song is "La donna é mobile". I'm sure most of you have heard it, as it's a popular song often performed by tenors.

at the end of the song, it repeats this phrase that, in Chinese, sounds like "(the child who) spurts out blood on barren ground" which sounds a bit amusing to me.

I think I like the song partly because of how fun it is to sing in the shower, and mostly because of that silly translation I came up with.

anyhow...

you can hear it here.

four

2005-09-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

Caren and I just had our 4-year anniversary together this past weekend.

has it really been that long? I felt like it was only last year or so when we started going out! guess good times really pass by fast... ^^

too short

2005-09-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

yay I got to see Caren this weekend again after our 2 weeks of separation. last weekend her relatives were visiting, and that she had to attend a friend's wedding, so I didn't come back here.

we didn't do anything special, though. we just spent time like we usually would - eating out, shopping for pet food, walking the mall, etc.

...

I don't like long distance relationships.

I know we're not as far apart, or have to be apart for as long as many other relationships, but I still don't like it. I miss the time when we were living together. Caren would pack me lunch for work everyday, and I'd come home to her and our pets when I get off...

bleh.

911

2005-09-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

it has been 4 years since the 911 attack. I remember I was still living in the garage-converted 1-bedroom unit in downtown San Jose across one of the major Asian fraternity of SJSU where I often get to hear deep, loud muffler noises from tricked out Hondas at 3 o'clock in the morning. being jobless at the time, I was at home with Caren (also jobless) when we heard of the news. we immediately turned on the TV and surely every channel was reporting the same event... now 4 years later, I still can't believe it's been that long already.

a slow weekend

2005-09-06T01:04:00.000-07:00

this weekend felt slow... stayed in Sac, stayed at home, and mostly in either my bed or my chair in front of computer.

I did try to do something constructive... tried to organize my files on computer, clean my room, etc. altho things don't look much different afterwards hehe.

spent lots of time missing Caren tho.

but I like being a kid!

2005-09-03T02:04:00.000-07:00

okay okay... I know what you're thinking: Wali's such a mature, serious, knows-what-he's-doing, got-everything-together kind of man. a kid? no way!

truth is, I like simple & straight-forward ideas, and I get excited with things such as adventures, friendship, (storybook-like) romance, etc.

I love these:

One Piece (manga: adventure, friendship, imagination, monsters, pirates)
The Count of Monte Cristo (movie: swordfight, adventure, revenge, romance)
The Princess Bride (movie: adventure, romance, monsters, comedy)

(>.<)/

non-singles

2005-09-01T01:36:00.000-07:00

Lon, Queenie, and I hung out at Denny's tonight. I must say Queenie talks and acts a bit different when Vic's not around. why do couples have to be seperated? the 3 of us who sat on that table had 1 thing in common: the one we love is not with us!

altho we had fun chatting and all, I felt a bit down after I came home. I wish Caren was there with me. and I wonder if the other 2 felt the same.

blog about blog

2005-08-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

I convinced Dave to try web logging last night... I think this is a good idea, it helps keeping friends and family updated about what's happening around you. Queenie has already started recently, and I just talked to Berkat today and he expressed some interests in doing it as well. ^^ my friend Rhys has been keeping an online journal for quite a while already, too.

I tried to get Caren to start too, but she's trying to procrastinate and kept calling me a dictator for telling her what to do... T-T

I'm not a dictator!

...

hey I can create a Guild Wars character named Richard Tator!

2005-08-29T22:37:00.000-07:00

it is so fun drawing at pixel levels. ^^

VoIP

2005-08-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

I've been using Skype lately.

Skype is a voice chat multi-platform client written by the creator of KaZaa. this piece of software allows you to use your PC to call other PCs with a pretty good quality. I've been using it to talk to Caren. we basically just call each other, and leave it on. it runs in the background while we do other things on the computer, and we just talk to each other when we have something to say. it makes us feel like we're in the same room, and it's free! I wonder why haven't we started using it earlier.

Skype also has a feature called SkypeOut that lets you call real (regular) phones, with a price. very cheap price, too. it costs you a bit over 2 cents per minute for a most popular areas of the world, including Taiwan, Hong Kong, China, etc. I tried it and called my apartment in Sunnyvale and the quality is awesome.

it also allows you to make conference calls. I could call Dave and join him to the existing call with Caren, and the conference call feature works with SkypeOut too.

why has this blog turned into an advertisement for Skype?

I think I just want to stress the power of VoIP and how it has become a more practical technology for me than I thought it would.

Yahoo! has recently acquired Dialpad, and Google just released its own voice chat thin client a few days ago. seems like "the year of VoIP" is actually getting closer finally, as that they have called it for the last 4 years. there are rumors about Google acquiring Skype in the future, and I have noticed that both Google Talk and Skype are using GIPS for their backbone technology. we tried both and I think compared to Skype, Google Talk has slightly better voice quality albeit less features are being offered. there is a quality indicator, though, like the reception bars on cell phones, on the Google Talk chat window, which is a neat informative feature.

so that's my recent VoIP related findings. I think I will get a headset if I start using my PC to make calls more often, and I encourage everyone to try it out if you haven't done so already! ^^

oh no!

2005-08-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

Caren just left heading back to Sunnyvale...

her parents are visiting next weekend, and she's attending a friend's wedding, so I will probably stay here in Sac. That means there will be 2 weeks before we see each other again!

BOO!

Caren

2005-08-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

I've moved to Sacramento for work for a while now (1 year and 5 months) while Caren stayed in the Bay Area for her work. We have had a few problems in the relationship during this time and it was proven that problems are especially hard to fix when the two of us are apart most of the time. I am getting quite excited as this all may soon change.

With acquisition of the restaurant in progress, the plan is for Caren to move here to Sacramento with me within the next six months or so, then work our asses off and try to achieve our own goals together, with each other close by for support. We are just very beat by all the obstacles around us already, and not being able to be together is really taking a toll on our relationship.

Caren and I care for each other a great deal, and we've been sticking together thru thick and thin for almost 4 years now. I really wish that we're going to come out ok. ^^

edit (2006/1/2) - this was an entry I wrote back in August that was saved as draft and never posted. I am a restaurant owner now and she has switched to a better job in a startup company. she will try to stick around for IPO (hopefully this year), which puts us in a long distance relationship for longer.

Strange Day

2005-02-23T00:14:00.000-08:00

today was a strange day...

I've been a bit sick since yesterday, and this morning, before I woke up, around 5:00am, I had this half-awake-half-dreaming moment when I felt very sick, and that this sickness is something serious. so serious that it could threaten my life... I remember the strongest feeling I had was regret. regretting that there're so many things I could have done better, so many things I could have already achieved but haven't, etc...

anyway, then I woke up... other than the normal everyday boring stuff (work), I had to go help various people with their various needs/problems, which is also a unique situation as I don't usually take that many "jobs" in a single day.

by night, my sickness got worse and I was starting to lose my voice, and that hasn't happened for a long while either.

so, a day of granting others a better day while I'm having a sick day, haha.

meh...

2003-07-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

so many things to do, so little time... or, more precisely, so little time spent to do those things.

I'm a lazy bum.

Google Toolbar

2003-07-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

Just got Google Toolbar, it's got a pretty convenient way for people to post their blogs, on top of other useful features such as search, pop-up blocker, and AutoFill, etc... Good stuff.

2003-05-06T11:08:00.000-07:00

Time sure flies by quick...

First Entry

2003-02-21T23:39:00.000-08:00

This would be my first entry. I wonder how many people start his first entry by needlessly indicating that it is the first entry, or even go a step further and needlessly point out that they realize that he is needlessly indicating that it is the first entry...

But I know one thing: I'm probably the only one who take the extra step and needlessly express that I needlessly pointed out that I was needlessly indicating that this is, in fact, the first entry.