So far, my life has been so incredible that I can only wonder, “Eh what?”

Srly, I’m expressive that way.

The site has had a slight update. A lot of my side widgets have gone missing, but I’m sure I’ll get it back up in a minute.

I’ve joined a company called Mindvalley, seriously the best company in the world. I will be leaving for Amsterdam in 2 days, and then for New York City (again) and Bermuda. I’ve just got a huge shoot for Microsoft on Bernama TV, I’m meeting the most incredible people in the world.

Honestly, life can’t get any better, but I know that it will – and that’s the beauty of it.

I will be back here again updating soon enough. I almost forgot how nice it is to write

A lot is in store, and I hope that you’ll be here to experience it with me.

On Sunday the boys (Henry Golding, David Barton-Grimley and Khalid Hilaby) and I decided to venture out of KL for a little rest and relaxation. Thanks to Omar (and Mariq and Effa), we found our way to the waterfalls at Sungai Dua, off the Karak highway. It was actually supposed to be a post birthday celebration for Chuong, but then birthday boy didn’t show up so we had all the fun for him (Happy Birthday Chuong)!

I shamefully admit that this is the first time I’ve been to such a pretty waterfall. Not that I’ve only been to ugly falls, but they’ve all been small and trickly rather than big and gushing. There is something rather magical about falls. Especially when you finally manage to claw your way to the back of one. It is a mixture of silence and noise. To one side the stillness of the ‘cave’ and on the other side the sound of water beating down on the rocks.

We spent the better half of the day just monkeying around, jumping off branches into the water, swinging from ropes and trying to get under the falls. It isn’t easy business because the water was pounding down furiously almost mockingly!

Anyway, here are some tips on surviving the falls (from your professional fall surviver – moi – of course):

• Wear the right gear. Take a tip from Dave who wore his sneakers. We had to walk across a small body of water and Dave thought the best course of action is to just walk through with his sneakers only, which equals to soaked sneakers.
• Bring a towel. Or two. You will need to dry yourself off and nobody likes sharing towels!
• Bring a mat. We forgot to bring one, and had to make do with the rocks around us. It wasn’t horrible but it would’ve been awesome to have a mat to lie on to relax and catch some rays.
• Sunblock. The boys were well and truly burnt by the end of the day! The thing about the falls is that you can’t tell when the sun is working its magic cause it’s so nice and cooling there. But rest assured that you will get burnt, so best to be prepared.
• You don’t need that much food! So we learnt. We brought enough food to feed… a lot of people. Didn’t even manage to make a sizable dent in our ration. So just bring easy to make food (Khalid’s bread and turkey ham slices was a big hit, mainly because it was so easy to put together) and lots of water.
• Be prepared to get wet. It’s a waterfall. Full of water. At some point you will get wet. Wear your swimmers underneath and don’t worry about your hair.
• Pick up after yourself. When we finally made it to the back of the falls, we found empty bottles of Coke! Seriously, it won’t kill you to just throw everything into a bag and carry it out with you. It take about a minute but the effect is priceless.
• Have as much fun as you possibly can! I felt like a child again. It’s been awhile since I was scrambling up rocks, jumping off branches and screaming at gushing water (don’t ask me why but, I was just standing there screaming at the water – happily of course). By the end of the day we felt exhausted but good.

My whole body is aching now but I’m loving it. The boys and I have decided to take a trip out of KL every month just to get away. It doesn’t have to be expensive or very far away. Sungai Dua took us about an hour to get to. Next month we’re going to try Kuala Kubu Baru. There’s Sungai Chenang there and I hear it’s got a real pretty waterfall.

Trala, la, la, la…

All the photos you see here are from Omar’s Flickr Photostream! You can find more photos from the trip there too!

I read this sometime ago and it has remained one of my favourite passages. From the book “A return to Love” by Marriane Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that

We are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that

We are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,

That most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,

Talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of Creation.
Your playing small

Does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

So that other people will not feel insecure around you.

We were born to make and manifest the glory

Of Creation that is within us.
It is not just in some of us;

It is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people

Permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

hi Kat,

back in KL la…have been for quite some time….good job on the telly my realisation is that the “formula” is great to know and sometimes the only thing that one can fall back on when everything gets crazy…but it is only thru the lense of experience that it is embodied…thats where i am at right now: experience…in what ever way it presents itself to me (and almost always not necessarly the way i expect it to be)

have fun on tv!

—————-

hey babe
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
didn’t think i’d forget did ya?

i just got back from chicago
my pic on the chicago reader!
here are some pics of my trip

—————-

Mi querida Hani,

Hi baby, after all those emails from you I cant wait to see you again and talk to you about your trip, it sounds like a lot of fun..yeah I love yachts now (yachts being after you of course).. KL got better now, its finally raining! too bad you are not here to watch the rain with me..well i guess getting burned on a yacht with occasional scuba dives into the crystal water of the sea, surrounded by colorful fishes and  beautiful corals and relaxing times in a Jacuzzi may be some what more indulging than staring at the rain..however i think if at this moment someone would offer me one or the other, I would choose to stare at the rain with you by my side.

What else have i done…its mostly college work, next week i have three presentations, so im working on it now and a paper due a week after that.

Yeah, I miss you and if you can please come into my dreams more often.

Take care baby and i miss you, muah, muah, muah.

———————-

Le sigh..

These bring back memories. Are there any old emails (since I don’t get letters anymore – except from Matthew who always sends me lovely postcards) that you could read that would make you feel better? Go ahead poke around, you might be surprised!

Good times~

“Today I learnt to overcome my fear and stand up for myself”

APPLAUSE!

“I understand now why I go out with men like that, it was my daddy issues”

Applause!

“From now on I will take responsibility for my actions”

Applause!

“I have been working hard on my issues, and today I feel I’ve come to a point in my life where I can say I’m truly happy and proud to be me”

Standing fucking Ovation!

No one takes this seriously. Everyone is so focused in material milestones that small but ever so important personal ones are forgotten, played down or just deemed “GAY!”.

Go ahead, tell someone who asks you what you did today, “Today I told myself, I love you, and meant it. I’m so happy” and chances are you’ll get looks of “eh? what a sap” or “w-e-i-r-d-o!!”

Working hard at something and knowing deep within you that you deserve whatever it is you’ve worked for is so satisfying. Waking up in the morning and loving each day is exhilirating! And knowing that you’re aware, loved and in the flow of life because you choose to be is priceless.

Being that I am a great believer of the above mentioned title, I choose firmly to believe that the Universe will provide for me, and so I refuse to work at things which I feel are crushing my soul in general.

However, seeing that I am ape-shit broke my belief is starting to slowly wobble like jello. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a situation. I’m actually starting to worry. And I never worry about money. Somehow it always comes at the right time.

Now, my only explanation for this is that I’m not sure what I want to do. I love acting but being in continuous mind-numbing Malaysian Drama’s is slowly wearing me out. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it’s become such a business that it’s tiring and no longer ’stirring’ as it used to be.

Also it’s no longer fun.

There are still many Malaysian directors I’d love to work with, but seeing that the economic plunge is slowly causing wide spread panic, not many dramas/movies are being made – or at least not many that I know of or can be in.

Anyway, the other current project I wanted to work on was something I call The Artful. A sort of blog/art getaway for anything creative and artistic. However my recent foray in the internet world has proved how lowly my internetting skills are. So in a dejected huff, I am sort of shelving The Artful till I gain my internet confidence.

Also may or may not be working with Dave in creating and producing content for various sorts of things that his company needs and does. Wow. That was descriptive and clear. The may or may not depends largely on one point which is: How lazy I am. Or rather how hard-working I am.

It may seem that I am doing a gazillion things at once, but that is just a nifty little cover up to how incredibly lazy I am.

Other than that, college load is massive this semester and having not one but two anal lecturers breathing down your throat and trying to punish you for joining the class late (not very professional I might add) is not very conducive for skipping class to go for shoots (even if I always talk to the lecturer before I miss class).

In other words, I just want to sit at home and watch all the movies I’ve downloaded / bought / borrowed while stuffing my face with chocolate M&Ms. So you see, money can’t come if I’m not actually working. I’m sure the Universe is trying to provide, but having a bag of money just drop from the ceiling would surely be too much for even the Universe (right?).

I can’t seem to make up my mind on what I want to do. I hate being in limbo like this. It confuses me and makes me want to watch sad/happy movies like Slumdog Millionaire (yes, yes I cried like a big baby child). It also made me go: “Oh my god! It’s Anwar from Skins!! Putting on a fake Indian accent!!!”

Skins if you don’t know is a British drama series about a bunch of young kids running around doing drugs, drinking, having sex, being in relationships and other general stuff kids these days do daily. I secretly love the show (not so secret now eh?) and think back fondly of my younger years. Ok, I lie. I was never that cool (not that drinking or doing drugs is cool. No, no, no!)

Oh and here’s a bit of advice from your Aunt Honey: Always wear a condom kids!

*Ok, public service announcement : Check!

Anyway I digress, back to my misraeble, can’t-decide-what-I-want-do life. I’d like to do something that pays me enough to live comfortably every month, lets me go to college and other activities (they’re teaching Indian classical dance in KLPAC now and I’m just dying to join the classes) and that I enjoy doing (actually that should be on the top of the list). Oh and will not judge me if I put on a few pounds. I hate it when I go for shoots and directors go, “Uh, looking a little chubby on screen eh?” Grr! Leave me alone!! *chomp chomp on M&Ms*

Anyway, here are some pictures of how I currently look like. If you have anything for me to do: acting, hosting, anything art related bla, bla, contact me.

ok ta.. oh and GONG XI FATT CHAI!! May the blue / red bird of happiness shit on your filthy head yay!

Here are some pictures from the shoot I did last year for a telemovie called Taubah. Taubah means repent. Yes, I am the naughty, sex driven, beer guzzling vixen who finally realizes how wrong she is and repents, and marries an ex convict 20 years her senior (but is mightily pious) and lives happily in a village.

Haha! I keed I keed. The story line, while might make many roll their eyes, was actually not as bad as I initially thought it would be. It’s just a story of a girl who wants more from life rather than spend all her time boozing and having random sex. Plus in the telemovie I was meant to be sick – all that boozing had left me with a weak kidney. In a way I kind of relate. I had an experience like this a few years back when I used to party a lot (the wondering about how there must be more to life bit, not the move to the village and marry and ex convict bit).

My friends know that I’m not too keen on the booze in real life. I hardly drink – perhaps a nice glass of wine, the occasional beer, champagne (ah champagne.. yum!). And while I’m not against other people drinking, I do not like it when people can’t control their booze – especially when it relates to me.

I’ve had many instances when guys decide it’s confession time after consuming copious amounts of booze (I don’t mean a couple of beers, I mean can’t stand straight, form constructive sentences drunk). They happen to think it’s a good time to wonder out loud (drooling and smelling) why you won’t fuck them, why you don’t love them, why you won’t go out with them, what is wrong with them, how they thought that we had something between us. Uh.. NO! Bad drunk, bad drunk!

Or women who get soo drunk that they can’t stand (why is it that women get drunk, they instantly lose the ability to walk?), they flop onto the nearest guy, unconsciously puke all over them, make a complete arse of themselves, flash nasty knickers. NO! Ladies! Have some dignity!

Or men and women who get all emotional while drunk and one poor sod will have to babysit them the whole night, while listening to their emo ramblings. Or people who don’t realize or won’t admit they’re drunk and insist on driving, or how they never want to go home, or how they keep repeating things annoyingly. I mean COME ON! Tsk..

Anyway I digress. The telemoviee! The telemovie! FOCUS!

Yeah, it should be out.. uh.. this year? I’ll let ya know when it finally shows. Hopefully it’ll be online so I can watch it too, cause I don’t have a TV – well I do have a TV just no cable or nothing. I only watch the Internet. HAHA! Loser!

Ok ta..

Before I start anything though:

Happy 2009!

Lots of love and blessings!

Last year was such a fabulous year. It’s easy to forget and not be grateful for things. That’s why for new year’s eve, I had a gratitude/manifestation meditation. It felt a whole lot better than being out getting sloshed (especially in the morning!) and we could see all the fireworks go off from my balcony. It was funny because none of them were synchronised so they all went off at different times at different places, which made the experience more interesting for us!

The next post I’ll show you how to make a gratitude booklet. It’s really simple and you’ll get loads out of it!

And now I have to have a shower! Night night!

x

So I’m going to New York tommorow.

I don’t think that anything else can be said after that..

I think I’ll go run around jumping in joy now.

Later..

Betty Page passed away yesterday (December 11th 2008). I’m sure she’s in a better place now. I love her work! Love the fact that she celebrated her sensuality and sexuality and the fact that she made most of her swimsuits!

Rest in peace sweetheart. You are missed!

x