Water Cooler Mommy

The No Factory

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 16:43:00 +0000

Well Hello there folks! Yeah, I've been busy doing all the stuff that people always say that we are busy doing when you go months on end without writing anything. It's not that I didn't have any ideas it's just that I kept telling myself that I was too busy to do a post and because I thought I was I never did.

Anywho..... My tot is well into the horrible two's and it's even worse than I could have ever imagined. You have to understand that a person that can't even use the restroom alone doesn't have much time to their self. I plan on putting that on my Christmas wish list, I really want the chance to be able to take just one poop alone, just one. I never thought I would find myself in this position (unintentional irony). But that's exactly where I am.

Of course my tot does not go to school or daycare. He has the esteemed honor of staying at home with me so that he can learn the proper use of the word Shi%$ and other awesome stuff.

All joking aside my toddler is pretty advanced. I could brag about all the things he can do but I'm not about bragging. Well I am. Just not today. If you catch me in the grocery store you better believe if he's not with me I'm whipping out a picture and a 30-40 minute monologue about how amazingly awesome my toddler is. However that's NOT what we are talking about today. Today the issue here is the no and nothing but the no. There are no's flying all over the place on a DAILY basis. Do you want to eat son? NO! Are you thirsty son? NO! Do you need to use the potty son NO! Did you just pee in that Lego son NO! You get my point. I just want to mention I wasn't sure if he was hungry or thirsty but I am 100 percent sure he did pee in that Lego.

My toddler has turned into a full on NO factory. If you're looking for a No you can get it from here. I already know what you're thinking, she probably says no a lot and that's where he gets it from. I don't really say no much. No, seriously..... Did I just type it again? Yeah... I did but I really don't say "it" (the N word, not the raciest N word the other one) much. I think that's the first thing a parent of a no factory does. You immediately start monitoring your own no's and count how many times you say it. When someone says something and you want to shout NO (the toddler way). I look over at him to try and figure out another way to say no such as using "well...... I'm not sure or I'm not thinking that's okay.” I'm sounding more and more passive aggressive every day. It's killing me. You have to save your No's for the really awful stuff.

I was down to less than 3 or less a no's a day. I would still be counting no's to this day if I hadn't ran into a lady with a toddler at Publix. I was pushing my cart through with my tot minding my own business. That's not really true I'm never really just minding my own business. Super nosy lol! As we are waling though the store I hear a toddler yelling NOOOO NOOOO. I was instantly relived for two reason first it wasn't my kid screaming and two I knew this kid was a no factory as well. I had to find them. I followed the screams and sure enough it was another 2 year old. I realized from talking to her mom that I wasn't the only proud owner of a no factory and this like the many other phases that we have experienced thus far would come and go. No for now, see you later.

Santa Can You Take This SH%! Back!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 22:48:00 +0000

Christmas is over and done although, you wouldn't know it from looking around my house. Leave me alone! I've been busy. This year my tot was 2 by the time Christmas rolled around. I was extremely excited because this would be the first year he was really going to be interactive with opening presents. He was good at it. Really good and it was just as exciting as I’d imagined to watch. Apparently, in another life he was a professional present opener. Who would have thought?

Before becoming a parent I was guilty of making gift purchases for friends’ kids and chuckling to myself in the store knowing the parent would have a fun time cleaning up the mess. Now I know that was not funny. I'm apologizing for all the drums, 200 ball sets and many other annoying present I've ever been enough of an asshole to give your child in the past. Sometimes, the bad seed toy is not a gift from another person. You the parent end up creating the good toy gone bad situation for yourself.

The first week after Christmas you can already see which toys are going to be a problem. By the second week your nerves and sanity have become endangered by the problem toy. I have also come to realize that I have a love hate relationship with toys in general. I love buying them for my son because I'm always excited about us playing together with the toy. This usually ends up with my tot playing and me being allowed to watch. He is an only child and his sharing skills are poor to say the least. I hate them because they almost ALWAYS involve a huge mess and just as often are used for some other purpose not included in the manufacturers instructions. The box said nothing at all about my tot hitting me in the head with this thing is usually what I end up thinking. Obviously, the visions of creativity inspiring toys and my 2 year old tots are not on the same page.

The problem purchase this year would be an easel. When I saw this easel online I just knew this was going to be a big it. I envisioned my son creating great masterpieces. I rushed out to get the supplies which included: new crayons, art paper, chalk, markers, and paint. I knew that these supplies would need to be guarded closely. My son enjoys drawing but if possible he also likes to eat his artwork when finished. I was aware of those dangers but I never would have imagined this precious gift from Santa would be a ladder to badness instead of a path to creativity.

My son loves the easel. Just not to draw and it did in fact inspire creativity in the form of him discovering that he can drag this damn easel or the stool that came with it around the house to get into everything he's not normally tall enough to get into. Great! Just freakin Great! He can also carry the stool upstairs and do the same. I hate the easel and I’m about to drop kick it out the door any day with the stool! I’m in the process of trying to figure out if Santa has a return policy if things just don't work out with a toy.

The Culprit

Has your child ever gotten a toy that ended up annoying you?

WHAT Did You Just Say?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 21:48:00 +0000

Caution this post contains an extreme parenting fail. If anything about this post offends you because you are so so perfect please feel free to read the post (including this disclaimer) again in order to re-offend yourself. As always thanks for stopping by.

It would be fair to say that I have a bit of a potty mouth. Sure, I'm working on it but this is a long process in the making. There is a history of fowl mouthed women in my family on my mother’s side so technically it's probably not my fault. Right? Yeah.... just going to go with that. I'm professional enough but at home sometimes there is nowhere to hide and words just flow. The sole reason for me needing to work on this potty mouth is my 2 year old toddler. Toddler cursing is not cute and doesn't go off well in social setting.

Since turning 2 my tots vocabulary is huge and he's a bit of a Pete Repeat. I had my son right before I turned 30. I'm an old dog learning a whole new trick with this parenting thing. I'm excited that he has survived and I haven't broken him. As a formally self-absorbed person I had no clue what I was going to do when I brought him home from the hospital. I even asked to stay an extra day. Surprisingly enough instinct kicked in and I've been working on auto pilot ever since. Parenting can't always be predictable or perfect. Having an type A personality it's a struggle for me knowing it can't be perfect. Better yet the fact that I'm not going to be perfect at it. Feel sorry for me.

Does the fact that I sometimes curse at home make me a bad person? Possibly. Am I safe for kids? Sure. Problem is my kid lives with me so when we are at home from time to time the shit is going to fly.

My mom and my tot were sitting in the living room. I was in the kitchen. A toy got dropped and I heard my tot say something but with me being so far away I really couldn't hear him. Partially because I was so far away and partially because my tot kind of whispered whatever he said. My mom said, "I was going to say that but you said it for me" to my tot. I asked her what he said and she replied "oh nothing." I left it at that.

This weekend my tot had a deck of playing cards that he had successfully stolen out of my drawer (never know when a spades game could pop off). My tot is NOT allowed to have cards because he is a habitual paper eating offender and will make a proper snack out of a deck of cards. I was right there by him when he went for the cards. As I was going to take from him he tried to run away and they all dropped. My tot immediately said "shit" as he dashed to try and pick a few up before me. Huge #mommyfail

Not only can my newly 2 year old toddler son say his alphabets and count to ten but he has also picked up the proper use of the word shit. Thanks to me. I told him that was a bad word and he should not say it, of course he's 2 so he doesn't understand. Since the "shit" incident he has dropped the s bomb a few other times when things didn't go quite his way. I have seen the error of my fowl mouthed ways and have made a conscious effort NOT to curse or even think curse words around my toddler. There are times when I want to spell the words out but I'm too scared to even do that. My tot has been watching your baby can read since 4 months old. I'm not quite sure if my baby can read but I do know my baby can say shit. Great! Merry Christmas!

Christmas Gifts That Suck

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 21:07:00 +0000

Christmas is approaching and along with the Holiday Cheer and family bonding comes the gifts that suck ass! They say it's the thought that counts but sometimes the thought is nonexistent. Some people seem determined to use the Holidays to remind you of the fact that they don't really know you or what you like at all! Here's my list of terrible Christmas presents.

Chia Pet

Just in case you didn't know this is NOT on the list of anyone over the age of 10. No one thinks it's a funny gift and we don't want it! Sure, if I get one I'm going to smile and say thank you but I'm also going to be listing it for sale on Ebay the first chance I get. This is too bad to even think about re gifting.

Photo Credit http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

A Family Portrait

Christmas cards with family photos are cool but when you've bought a fame to give with the picture. That's a sign you’re going too far. This picture is not appropriate nor is being vain enough to give a picture of yourself or family as a Christmas Gift. Nobody wants it! The only use I would have for a family photo is to hang it out back to see if it will ward off raccoons. Otherwise, this thing will never see the light of day.

Fruit cake

I don't know how or why people started giving these as gifts. I've often wondered if after research people decided that this was the one way to give a gift that screams “I don’t like you but here's something anyways.” I do know you want to stay away from giving a gift that is the punch line of a joke. I've never even actually met anyone that enjoys fruitcake. A gift like this would only force me into researching if fruitcake is safe to feed ducks with.

Photo Credit: http://www.thedailygreen.com

Ugly Ass Christmas Sweaters

I can't even begin to tell you how many of these I have gotten thus far in my lifetime. I also don't really have enough words to tell you how much I hate them all equally. I'm all about handmade crafts for gifts but I along with most people loathe ugly ass Christmas sweaters. These sweaters seem to go from zero to tacky in a second, besides being a walking fire hazard. The only plus side for me getting one of these is 1.) My mom just happens to be an ugly ass Christmas sweater fiend. 2.) At least I'll have something to wear to the office Ugly Ass Christmas Sweater Party.

If you’re thinking about ignoring this one don’t be surprised if your gift makes the recipient burst into tears because you decided to force them to remember a scaring childhood moment of just wanting a new bike and ending up with one of these ugly bastards! Asshole!

Ugly Christmas Ties

Dad I'm NOT thinking of you this holiday season and to prove it I got you an ugly Christmas tie. I've seen many a father forced to grunt and bare these ridiculous ties for the sake of hurt feelings. Some even play music in addition to the fact that they are hideous. Unless your dad is an ugly Christmas tie lover then have at it. Also, I wanted to mention that those ugly Christmas vest count as well. Let the man have some dignity after all he's done for you.

Plants

I am the black widow of gardening. I over water, under water, I KILL plants period! No plant has ever survived me. Even though I have no live plants in my home, people buy me plants. When they bring them over I almost feel sorry for the plant knowing its fate. So, merely for the plants sake stay away from buying plants for gifts. The recipient may have a black thumb like me and these plants deserve to have a chance at life.

Drugstore Perfume

Total perfume snob here! Perfume is very personal and based on your pH levels the same scent can smell different on each person. Generally speaking perfume that cost $9.99 is not the business. This stuff stinks and usually causes a headache! There may be a celebrity on the box but I guarantee you they probably aren't wearing this crap! So, you put that damn bottle of White Diamonds down unless your gift recipient is over the age of 50 or doesn't mind smelling like the Bingo hall.

Snuggie

Yes, I'm a little lazy. Don't call me out by buying me a damn snuggie. I don't care what color you buy. This is ri·freakin-dic·u·lous!these things have the uncanny ability to making anyone wearing it look like Friar Tuck. Plus, I'm black and black people DO NOT wear snuggies! That's not gangster! I would frown if I'm at your house and see one. I already have blankets and don't need another one with "sleeves" battling for closet space.

A Pet

It’s not nice to give someone a present they have to feed and take care of. Unless you've had a full out discussion you should NOT pop up with a new puppy on Christmas day. I see it as the equivalent of you dropping a person off at my house saying: “surprise I live here now and I don’t have a job." The whole puppy thing works for commercials and movies. The recipient may seem overjoyed but after that cute puppy starts chewing a hole through their new couch it may be a problem. After all, they would have you to thank for that wouldn't they?

Appliances

If you know someone that needs a toaster or iron pick another time of the year and just give it to them. Don't try to tell me you saw that toaster in the store and immediately thought of me. A new vacuum cleaner may not spread lots of holiday cheer this season. But, I am going to see if it will suck you up for getting such a terrible gift. That would bring me a little joy.

What’s the worst gift you’ve ever gotten?

Mean Words With Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 19:00:00 +0000

This post came about because the other day I was playing Words with Friends. My friend plays the word BITCH. Along with the play I was sent a disclosure notice from the friend saying, "Don't curse me out I'm just playing the game." Immediately, I panicked. I thought we already were playing the game. Does this mean people psycho analyze every word played in Words with friends?

The fact that he thought I would be offended. Should I be? Am I supposed to send a disclosure notice when playing words with friends? Is that proper game etiquette and I not known? Was it just a coincidence that he played Bitch? Did he save the letters to play that because I'm a bitch?

Do I need to look back over previous games with EVERY single friend and pick apart the word play? Will it tell me what they really think of me? When my friend played "whale" was she really just trying to say that I should renew my gym membership. I don't know? Maybe, when I played loser the other day I hurt my friend's feelings (that friend has been out of work for some time.) If I'm playing with a chubby friend and I just happen to be able to spell "fat" should I tell her I'm sorry before or after I make that play? Which would be worse me playing the word fat or the apology for the play?

How serious has this gotten???? Have people committed suicide over a game of words with friends? Do we subconsciously play what we think of people in a word game? I can't play. This is entirely too stressful.

NOT, I'm most certainly still going to play. Is everything so literal now that everything HAS to mean something? It's just a game. Consider this post my disclosure notice if you play with me it's gonna be mean words with friends. If I get a chance to play the word "whore" you bet! I'm going in. If you are sensitive don't play. After all it's just words right? Words don't actually hurt or have anyone killed right? Oh they have. My bad..........

Types of Friends Women Have

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:21:00 +0000

The Best Friend

This friendship is the cream of the crop. This is your ride or die. You would cut a bitch about her. Both of you just seem to understand each other. Usually, the two of you have been through alot together and formed a really tight bond. You can always trust her advice and talk to her about anything. Because of the fact that this friendship is almost too good to be true the best friend usually lives across the country from you.

The Good Friend aka The # 2

This is another truly good friend. You may have a few of these. She's trustworthy and loyal. She probably lives closer to you or did at one time. The two of you could even be best friends if it wasn't for the fact that at least one of you are in committed best friendships else wear. The # 2 may or may not be slightly jealous of your best friend and in the unlikely event that your actual "best friend" is hit by a bus # 2 would gladly take her place.

The Good Time Girl

This is the friend you call when you want to let your hair down and have a good time. This friend is non-judgmental and knows where all the cool parties are. You rarely talk unless it's to plan and outing. Even when you do talk it’s usually not about anything important. This friendship could evolve into a better friendship over time if you ever decide to start hanging out in the daytime when you're not both drunk.

The Snob

This friend is usually disliked by ALL your other friends and seen as being fake. You like something about her and hang out anyways. She's oblivious to the fact that people don't like her and couldn't imagine why they wouldn't. Sometimes, you force your other friends to hang out with her. This usually ends with lots of every rolling on their part. Most of the time you are together she's complaining. She's too good for everything and lets it be known. Spending time with this friend can be exhausting because typically this type of person also has the lowest self-esteem.

The Bad Girl

You may have known this friend before she went bad or maybe you both were bad girls together. None the less this friend is hell on wheel. She fights, smokes and just doesn't give a damn! This friend is also usually broke. If she can't steal it you will probably have to pay for anything you two do together. You love her free spirit a spirit that may land her in jail from time to time. This is the one you call when it's time to kick some ass!

The Jealous Friend

This friend doesn't really like you. You have probably known each other since you were like 8. She's seen all the other friends rise up in the ranks while the two of you have merely remained acquaintances through the years. She sees your lives as a competition and you're winning. You almost hate to tell her when anything good happens with you because you can hear the disappointment in her congratulations. She pays you compliments then immediately says she is the opposite of the compliments she just gave you and she wishes she was more like this or that. This type of friendship is fruitless and toxic. You can never have a true friendship with someone that is jealous of you. They are too busy feeling sorry for themselves or wishing it was them.

The Slut

This friend is a lot like The Party Girl friend except she's a bit what do you call it? Oh. She’s what you call loose. She lacks inhibition and is fun to be around. Her sex life is alive and well. If you go out together it's a chance at end of the night she may be leaving with a few dudes so you need to have alternate ride arrangements. She's usually a very sweet person and very giving (ironic huh?) This is the one you CAN'T leave alone with your dude. After all she is a slut you don't want to leave anything to chance.

The Drama Queen

This one is always in some shit. Falling out with friends, boyfriends etc. There is always "something" going on. She's ultra-dramatic and everything is something to her. She may be a liar because all of her stories have to be over the top and extra. She's cool because she keeps it interesting and her account of everything is always top notch. This type of friend’s stories can be juicer than an episode of The Bad Girls Club.

The Busy Friend

You haven't seen her in years the only reason you even know she's still alive is because of the Facebook Updates from time to time. The friend has no time. Between her children, job, husband or new boyfriend etc. Her friend time is minimal Life has her by the whooo haaa and she rarely has time to step outside of the Matrix. ON the rare occasion that you do get to see her it's just like old times and you always wish you could see her more.

The Saint

This friend keeps you spiritually grounded. She prays for you and you pray together. She posts scriptures on Facebook as status updates just to remind you that God is her #1 fan. This friend may have formally known as The bad girl, the slut or the party girl. She's been saved and delivered. Now, she's a warrior for the Lord and not going to let anyone forget it. This means you probably aren't gonna want to mention to her about that joint you smoked last week.

Kids Names Vlog

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 18:12:00 +0000

My first Vlog. I'm nervous and the sound is a little funky. But, Hey it's my first one.

Gearing Up For Christmas Frugal Style

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:22:00 +0000

Halloween hasn't even passed yet but we all know after it does Thanksgiving speeds by and Christmas is here before we can really blink an eye. Times are tough right now and money is tight so now is the perfect time to start preparing so you won't end up over your head. Here's a few tips I put together to help even the tightest budget have a Merry Christmas.

1. Have a Clear Plan

Be realistic according to your budget on exactly what you want to get and what you can actually afford. Write down everyone on your list and budget how much it will cost to make it happen. If you have more than one child in your household make sure you distribute evenly to each child. It's not fair to shower your younger children in the household with gifts and expect the older children to "understand". If you do this it's gonna come up in about 10 years while your kid is sitting on a therapists couch trying to work through some sort of complex you've managed to give them from making them feel unimportant. Slim down your list as well. If you normally buy Christmas for the block you may need to prioritize if money is tight. Also consider going in with friends or family members on gift purchases.

2. It's Time To Sell

Look over the stuff you have in your house and purge the things that you no longer need. You can sell anything of value on eBay or Craigslist and earn some extra Christmas cash. Also, clean out your jewelry box Gold prices are at an all-time high. Just the other day, I took some of my scrap gold in and made $270 bucks from a few pieces. If selling gold, make sure you shop around for the best price. Visit at least 4 places to get different offers and go with the highest price.

3. Layaway Now

Layaway is my all-time best friend. I'm way to cheap to make purchases over $200 dollars at one time. It just breaks my heart. Layaway allows you to put money down usually about 10-20% of the cost and make payments over time until the item is paid for. The length of time varies depending on the store. And, some stores require that you make payments a minimum of bi- weekly etc. There is no interest so this makes it a better way to go than using credit.

Here are a few stores I know of that have Layaway Plans.

Kmart
Burlington
T.J Maxx
Marshalls
Value Pawn
Cash America

4. Flex or Easy Pay Plans

Obviously, I'm a shopper but I'm certainly no amateur. This is one of my secret weapons when it comes to shopping. Flex pay or Easy Pay is very similar to layaway in that you make a down payment and pay on the item until it's paid off. The key difference here is that you get the item before you finish paying for it. These are offered through HSN or QVC. There is no interest charge or credit check. You pay the same amount as someone would pay cash. In order to participate in one of these you must order by credit card and they take a set amount out every month dependent on the payment plan. The only setbacks are that these payment plans are only available on certain items. Plus, QVC and HSN prices are sometimes slightly higher than you could find the item on Amazon, EBay or even a local retail store. The plus may just override that in the fact that you’re able to make your first payment and pay shipping (if using the links provided shipping is free) and get the item delivered to your front door at lightning speed as if you were done paying.

The HSN Program is called Flex Pay

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The QVC Program is called Easy Pay

5. Not Brand New But New To Me

Don't neglect to check out your local Goodwill and Thrift Stores. With a little patience you can find true gems in these types if stores. You may be able to knock off a few of the items on the list or at least find a few stocking stuffers.

6. Mystery Shopping

I've been doing mystery shopping since about 2008 and I can't even begin to tell you how many free dinners, toys, car washes etc. I've scored. You name it you probably can get it free from mystery shopping. These assignments typically take about 30 to 60 days to get paid so it's best to start now in order to get paid before Christmas. Keep in mind you should NEVER pay to do mystery shopping. Anything asking you to pay is a scam. I'm in the process of writing another post in detail about this so check back.

7. Ask for help

If your Christmas budget is nonexistent then don't be afraid to get help. You may be wondering how you can afford your light bill next month so Christmas might as well be a trip to Mars right now. Keep your head up. Not only do the Holidays bring companies hiring Christmas help but, there are organizations that work to make sure that no child gets left out on the Holidays. Please don't allow your pride to stand in the way of getting holiday help. Now is the perfect time to get started many of these organizations have deadline restrictions.

Here are some organizations that offer help for the Holidays.

Toys for Tots
Salvation Army Angel Tree
Catholic Charities

In addition to these contact your local churches they often have Holiday programs as well.

Another resource is United Way you can dial 211 from your phone or look up the United Way 211 website for your area. You can put in a search for rental or mortgage, light bill, dental, holiday, food or whatever you need assistance with and it will generate a link of the organizations that may help. In you live in Jacksonville Florida here's the link: United Way North East Florida

8. Cash Back and Reward Programs

My bank has a reward program with my check card for items that I purchase using the credit option. I've just recently cashed in my points and have about a $50 buck Kohl's gift card on its way to me as we speak. When I get the gift card I'm gonna hang on to it to purchase Christmas gifts or possibly even give the card itself. There are other cool reward programs as well I've listed them below. This will help keep your money in your wallet where it belongs.

Calyp is another reward program where you earn points by sharing brands with your friends on social networks.

9. Use What You Know

Another option for gifts and by far the most sentimental is the option to hand make your Christmas gifts. If you’re Martha Stewart Jr. this should be no problem for you. For those of us that are not as crafty all hope is not lost. You can make a plan now of something you would want to make there's a YouTube video for just about everything. If you aren't interested in getting crafty you can try giving baked goods as gifts. You can also take something you are good at gardening, organizing etc. and make personal gift cards to give. Many people really appreciate the effort that goes into making something from scratch rather than a store bought purchase.

10. Stay Organized and Relax

Panic during the Holidays cause us to overspend. If you don't wait until the last minute to get everything by the time Christmas is about a week away you should be done or just needing a gift or two. Don't put all your hopes into being able to win a fistfight in Walmart on Black Friday. Some stores not only have special black Friday sales but they also have unadvertised sale prices as well. Days before Christmas last year I bought a crock pot for $10 that I saw in the store yesterday for $25. It was not something even listed in the Black Friday Ads. So, if you made a clear plan of the people on your list and what you plan on getting them it will be easy because you will know what you’re looking for and won't be under pressure to get everything. Also, make sure you check out Groupon and Living Social. Most of these deals can be gifted and they offer a tremendous savings.

Living Social is another great one! I have actually purchased more from them than any other daily deal program.

Thanks for reading I hope this helps someone. Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

Disclosure: This post contains one or more affiliate links. Opinions here are my own.

No Tricks Just Treats

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 19:10:00 +0000

This may come as a surprise to some but I've never really celebrated Halloween. I was raised in a single parent household and we started out Catholic and ended up nondenominational Christians. For several years I attended parochial school then private Christian schools. I guess when my mother realized she was confusing me she then put me in public schools. Yes, it’s just as confusing as it sounds. The last Halloween I can remember celebrating was when I was about 5. My mom and I attended a party which my older cousin decided to scare me. I haven't spoken to her since and I'm 31 now. That's how I roll. None the less, I'm not sure of if it was the lack of finances to commit to the purchase of the costumes every year or if my mom sincerely believed that Halloween is the devils holiday.

When I was in elementary school I can remember begging her to let me go trick or treating her response was always no. No costumes, no passing out candy nothing. I always asked every year anyways because I didn't want to be ridiculed by my classmates when the dreaded question: what are you going to be this year came up. My mother would tell me I should be proud to be different and that my religious beliefs were something I should take pride in. I wasn't buying it. Those were her "religious" beliefs and not mine. I was just a kid. In addition to that I was already different most of the time I was the only black kid around. Wasn't that different enough for her? I guess not. My mom wouldn't even let me have Christmas. She insisted on me knowing that the gifts were from her. She was not going to take a back seat to the imaginary Santa Claus when she struggled to make ends meet in order to provide me with Christmas gifts. (I will tell you about that some other time).

In my adult life I guess you can say I'm a Cath/Christian I attend both Mass and Christian services. I enjoy both. I'm a good Catholic girl. (Catholics reading this will get it) I like the speed and to the pointiness of Mass but, I also enjoy the warmth and sense of comradely from Christian churches as I find Mass to be a bit cold sometimes.

The subject of Halloween has long been stored in my vault of scaring childhood moments until now. This is an issue because I am a parent. My son is turning 2 on the 5th of November so I now have to decide if Halloween is something we will participate in or not. Not to take away from anything my mom did I know she did what her best was with raising me. This is a concept I understand now as a parent. One thing I have decided with my parenting that is different from her style is consistency. I understand that there will be things outside of my control but for the most part I want to be as constant as possible. This means I have to make a decision on Halloween and stick with it.

Things have changed quite a bit since I was a child and there are safety issues that come with trick or treating. Now days you practically have to get a map out and plan looking at a neighborhood predator alert. Nobody wants to knock on the front door of the dude that just got out of prison for messing with kids making your child a target. Then there is the possibility of being robbed while walking the neighborhoods. I'm just saying. I don’t live in a “bad” area but with people being so desperate is there really a good neighborhood anymore?

As a mom I don't want to miss out on the opportunity to embarrass my son by dressing him up as a turd this year. Wouldn't that be ironic? lol! mommytheturdhunter Nor do I want to miss the cuteness of future embarrassing costumes either.

All joking aside today's society has pretty much helped me to make my decision. I will allow my son to dress up every year and we will either go to a friend’s party for kids or to a church event. For now we are going to pass on the door to door. How do you handle Halloween in your house?

I'm The Best to Ever Do It

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 18:18:00 +0000

Let's all take a moment to take a life lesson from rappers and their lyrics. A few of these rappers tell us they are the best. They tell everyone that will listen and we believe them. How do you know? Their shows sell out. Their products and merchandise sell millions. Fans spend hard earned money on them. Some celebrities even have clothing lines, perfumes and fans buy that stuff too. It's because they believe in them and help to support a lifestyle that is more lavish than the ones they lead themselves. Are they really the best? Who knows? Who's the "best" rapper is something that gets argued somewhere just about every day.

The point is they believe it and they make us believe it with their confidence. Let's take for instance Jay Z. If you follow rap or not you've heard the name Jay Z before and I don't want to hear your lies if you say you've never heard the name. For those that don't know his first album Reasonable Doubt released in 1996 was critically acclaimed. Critical Acclaim does not equal sales the album didn't reach platinum status until about 2002. There have been a lot of rappers that have achieved "critical acclaim" that aren't household names. The same could have happened to Jay Z. Instead of falling into the pit of unknown rappers Jay Z decided that after Biggie died he would tell the world that he was the best rapper alive. Guess what? We bought it. Then, years later following suite Lil Wayne decided after Jay Z retired (or said he was at least) Wayne told us that he was now the greatest rapper alive. They both believed it wholeheartedly and fans did too. I'm sure there is probably some rapper breathing SOMEWHERE that's better than both of them. But, that doesn't matter.

The fact is they told us they were "the best" and acted like "the best" and people believed them. This helped to skyrocket their careers. So, I ask you this: Are you the best at what you do? If you asked me you know I'm saying, "you bet your sweet ass". I'm the best mommy, the best business owner and the best blogger. I'm going to make everyone else believe it too. Perception is reality. If you think you're the best with all you heart have confidence and conduct yourself like "the best" would eventually you become exactly that. Let's think positive and make necessary changes to become the best. It all starts with the mindset.

Mommy the Turd Hunter

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 18:36:00 +0000

Let's start this post off by saying POTTY TRAINING! Okay, now that I've got that out of my system we can move on. The other day I said that I was quitting with the potty training until Trey turns 2. His birthday is the 5th of November. That's a little time for us to have a break with the whole business and get back into it on a fresh note. My floors and I (the cleaning lady) have had ENOUGH with the pee and poop everywhere. It was just getting out of hand. The next day, I woke up and thought we would give it another try. The choice to try again resulted in me getting my foot peed on and hunting a turd for the better part of the day. Being a mommy has me doing tons of things I never thought I would and not to mention while searching for the turd I was wondering to myself if I really even had any dignity at all left lol! I'd like to take a moment to address all the people who have given advice and tips for potty training. Thank you for nothing! I've tried about 75% of those tips and none of that ~~shit~~ has worked. I have come to the conclusion that potty training is a lot like giving birth and no two experiences are the same. With that being said, Potty Training has been discontinued until further notice. This boy is just not ready yet! Signs that's he's ready my ass! My son is obviously not ready. The moral of this post 1) Quit when you say you are so you won't get your foot peed on 2) There are no egos in potty training.

Should it Hurt This Much to be a Fan?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:00:00 +0000

If you know me personally you know that I live in Jacksonville Florida and I'm a closet fan of the Jacksonville Jaguars. That's right! I said Closet fan. I was about 15 when the Jaguars came to town and like the entire city I was EXCITED! Who knew that over 15 years later the team that caused so much excitement for me would one day be a major source of almost weekly disappointment. With the team having a nickname like the Cardiac Cats you could only imagine what it's like to be a fan. We have a reputation of being a team that's almost okay. Well, whatever that is. The Jaguars just can't seem to get 'IT' together. When I see people that aren't from Jacksonville if they are men they typically say "what's up with those Jaguars". I always lie and say that I'm not a fan or that I don't follow football. I openly ridicule those brave enough to be Jaguar Fans in public. I do this because I'm a fan to and I'm angry about yet another loss as well. The newscasters even say things like, "if they don't do this or that it will be ANOTHER season of losses". What does that tell you? It's embarrassing that's what it is. Is it this hard to be a Green Bay fan? And, they wear a big block of cheese on their head. I'm not judging I'm just saying. People don't usually just walk around with cheese on their head.

I spoke with my mom after the game on Sunday and she said that after the loss she prayed about it and God told her that she needed to lose the Jaguars. Well, not exactly like that. She mentioned that in church her pastor had told her that she they needed to let go of anything that is causing discontentment in life. For her it's the Jaguars.

Most of the ex-fans were one time loyal Jaguar fans that grew tired of having their hopes trampled on the verge of a win. Please don't get me wrong I'm not saying the Jaguars are embarrassing to the city we have other major issues like: crime, homelessness, the racist history, an over $350 million dollar (not a typo) courthouse being built when we have had MAJOR funding cuts for education and police among other problems.

People that think that Jacksonville is the most beautiful city they have ever seen obviously haven't been exposed to the gritty underbelly of the city. Years ago, I saw someone get murdered just trying to make a trip to the store and I wasn't in and "urban area" when it happened. That was traumatizing. I've suffered the loss of a loved ones to violence and seen children get put in the system when they should have been given a chance. So, I think you get that this city has some issues. The Jaguars aren't helping matters. The other problems in the city can be our little secret. But, when it comes to football the whole country is watching (ironic isn't it). Please do better! I want to be able to at the very least be able to say one day that I'm a proud Jaguars fan.

So Big it's almost Offensive Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:26:00 +0000

Don't get you panties in a bunch it's just a banana :)

Being a Parent Hurts Sometimes

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 20:38:00 +0000

I recently suffered a really intense knee injury at the hands on my toddler. I was bending down in the kitchen when my son ran in and jumped on my back. He caught me totally off guard. I fell forward not wanting him to get hurt we ended up landing on my knee. It was swollen and felt as if something was dislocated but I do not have the luxury of time to go to the hospital or doctor for something as trivial as my knee. It hurt or should I say it hurts. This happened a few weeks ago now and I still feel a little pain. The incident got me thinking, I really need to be careful this dude is dangerous. But, it also made me wonder how many other parents have had injuries from their babies and toddlers?

By far this is not the first injury my son but certainly my worst to date. I've had hair pulled, been bitten off guard while I was walking because my son wanted to try out his little teeth, I've been knocked in the face, head butted and scratched. Okay, the scratching is probably my bad but it's so tough clipping those little nails. One time, I was certain that he had broken my nose from a head-butt.

When my son was a baby he had a biting stage. It was awful! I was a bit scared of him then. This is an abusive relationship at its best. I keep going in for more because I love him. But, I know he's gonna hit me again. With babies and young toddlers we parents are up against flailing arms and legs plus a language barrier. While he was going through the whole "surprise biting thing" In his mind my yells of pain probably seemed like excitement and he needed to do it again. I know what you’re thinking he was just teething and wanted something for the gums. Come on now, don't you think I thought of that? This kid wanted flesh! I asked in forums and looked around for help with the biting but everyone treated it as if they NEVER had a problem like that with THEIR baby. Whatever!

Frequently, people talk about the financial, emotional or mental strain of parenting. What about the physical? After searching on the internet for a while I hit paydirt. I found Mothering.com in the forum post it has a few parents sharing their stories on their injuries. In the words of rapper Ludacris "guard your grill". Sometimes it hurts being a parent but it's just part of the job. I love being a mommy and my son is amazing! Every injury large or small is worth it and this stage will pass. I just wish it would hurry up a bit.

I Know What The X Factor Is

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 23:42:00 +0000

The first thing I noticed when watching the show was the live audience for the auditions. They are very vocal with how they like or dislike each contestant with helps give authenticity to the performances. Each contestant is able to feel the crowd which is an important element for performers in the entertainment industry.

The next thing I noticed were the judges and their great chemistry. They all just seemed to gel together. There was the return of SiPaul lol. With the addition of L.A Reid it was a match made in heaven. Really they could have had Humpty Dumpty as the other judge and it wouldn't have mattered to me. Instead, they choose to go with Nicole Scherzinger and she fit in the puzzle quite nicely. The Judges on a competition show for me can make or break it. That's the main reason I stopped watching So You Think you can Dance and a big problem I have with America's best Dance Dance Crew. (Hey, I just did a 90 degrees of separation of Simon Cowell with those shows. lol!) Okay, I digress.

On to the contestants. Groups as well as singers solo artists from age 12 and up can try out. What makes this so special is because they are really able to find true raw talent. When Stacy Adams came on stage and said, "I don't want to die with this music in me". I thought she was being over-dramatic. Then she opened her mouth and I was on the floor. Now, I was the one being "over-dramatic". When she was done singing I wanted to get up and change the world. I just felt so inspired. I've honestly never heard a voice filled with so much passion and emotion. Some of the contestants performed with such a fierce fire that let you know that everything was riding on this. For many of them this was their very last shot. It was a way out of the struggle of someone that is just trying to keep their head above water. This struggle that is sometimes called life for many people. That’s something so genuine it can't be faked. With a 5 Million Dollar prize on the line this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for them to not only change their lives but the lives of their family members as well. Who doesn't want to see that? The photo boothish segment after the stellar performances in black in white didn't hurt either. This America the land of opportunity. At a time like this with so much going on in the world people need to be inspired. I'm hooked. I want to see someone fulfill their deepest hopes and dreams. What do you think? Please don't tell me I'm a total psycho for getting all that from a show.

Fall Line Up Part 3

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 20:36:00 +0000

Here are the rest of the new and returning shows I'll be watching for the rest of the week. Sorry this post is a little late I thought I had scheduled it :(

Thursday

Charlie's Angels 8pm on abc

Typically, I try to stay as far away as humanly possible from remake shows. I have NEVER seen one that I've liked. With that being said there is something interesting about this show to me for some reason. It has earned a spot on the DVR and I will give it a wink or two.

Person Of Interest 9pm on CBS

I'm a person extremely interested in this show. (okay, that was corny but you get it). This cast is solid so I am almost willing to bet that this will be a good watch. Two actors that I 'm interested in this show are, James Caviezel and Taraji P Henson. These are both seasoned actors and the concept of the show is original as well as interesting.

Friday

Kitchen Nightmares 8pm FOX

I’m certainly checking this one out again. It was the first show that put the fear of God in me about being extremely careful about where I choose to eat out. No customer wants a free order of salmonella to go with their meal. I'm hopeful that he can help as many wayward restaurant owners as possible

Sunday

The Amazing Race 8pm on abc

This is one of my all-time favs and I'm glad to see it come back on. I just don't think I could ever get tired of this one after all it is an Amazing Race.

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 04:47:00 +0000

Taking a bathroom pic alone.

New Fall Line Up Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:40:00 +0000

Here are some of the new and returning shows kicking off for the Fall Season for the Middle of the week.

Tuesday

Glee   8pm on FOX

Let’s be honest between you and I last season was a bit stale. I tried to pretend like I loved it. But, you can’t lie to yourself. I’m not sure if it was the choice of songs or the writing in general. I will be watching tonight of course and am a bit anxious to see what the new season and cast member offers.

The New Girl   9pm on FOX

This is my pick of the night. I am a fan of Zooey Deschanel as an actress and musician. Throw in a Wayne’s and you’ve got a recipe for a hit. This show seems so promising. I will be most certainly be tuning in not only because it’s right after Glee but because I’m really interested in seeing how entertaining it can be. Zooey may look a little familiar to those not familiar with her music or big screen performances. That’s because her big sister Emily Deschanel stars in Bones on the same network.

Raising Hope   9:30pm FOX

This one was funny last year and I will be tuning in again to see what the new season brings.

Wednesday

The X Factor   8pm FOX

I’m certainly checking this one out. I never watch past the bad singers on American Idol so I’m excited to see what undiscovered singing talent Simon has managed to find. I was certain that it had all been found because American Idol doesn’t seem to know where it is anymore. I’m also curious to know see how the show works.

Up All Night 8pm NBC

This show debuted last Wednesday and I was one of the 12 million viewers. The Christina Applegate Mia Rudolph combination works. It doesn’t hurt that Will Arnett is hilarious as well. The Dvr will be a buzzing tonight. Because several shows that I’m interested in come on at the same time.

H8R 8pm The CW

I peeped this show last week and love the concept so I’m going to be giving it another shot.

America's Next Top Model 9pm The CW

I’ve longed stopped watching this one. It’s gotten boring to me season after season the same thing. But, there’s nothing to lure in an old fan like an All Star Season. With that being said I’m there.

How did you like the new shows so far? Check out the blog on Thursday for Part 3.

Fall Line Up Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:52:00 +0000

Like most of my generation I am an avid reality watcher. I generally gear towards the competition reality shows like Hell’s Kitchen, Big Brother, Survivor, Project Runway, Amazing Race, etc. I do also have my guilty pleasure shows that I watch as well like Jersey Shore and Bad Girls Club which I really don’t understand because there is no prize. Then, there are my other favs like Basketball Wives, Love and Hip Hop, The Braxtons, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, New Jersey, New York. There are a few non reality shows that I am a fan of: Glee, Mike and Molly and Raising Hope. You get the drift of the shows I typically enjoy. I’m not sure if I watch Raising Hope because it comes on after Glee or the fact that it pretty damn funny that keeps me tuning in. The New Fall lineup is in full gear I’m excited some of my favorites are coming back on. There are also a few new shows that I’ll be watching as well. Some of these new shows seem pretty promising and others you can practically hear the crashes of the ratings already. A few of those probably won’t even make it through the season. This season I will be watching more of a variety of shows rather than my normal reality genre. Here’s a rundown of what new and returning that I’ll be checking out. There are so many for Monday that I’m breaking the blog up in two parts. He’s my picks for Monday night.

The Sing Off 8pm on NBC

I loved that show last year and I’m ready to hear some great talent again. This is one of the shows I’m most excited to see come back.

Dancing with the Stars 8pm on abc

I always try to watch the first episode of this. That’s it, the show is usually way to boring to catch my attention for a whole season. But this year I won’t be watching at all. I’m just really not that into the cast.

Two and a Half Men 9pm CBS

I don’t watch this one very often but I’m going to tune in like everyone else to see what all will be revealed really means. I’m an Aston Kutcher fan but I’m wondering if they can retain the cast chemistry they had with Charlie Sheen. There’s also the fact that I’m not sure that the show can make sense anymore if Charlie’s character is gone. If it doesn’t worked out The Biebs may have room for him on Punk’d.

The Playboy Club 10pm NBC

I usually bypass the drama-ish shows but I’m going to check this one out because it features actress Naturi Naughton. She’s probably better known for being a former member of singing group 3LW which she was either ousted or left after an incident involving hot wings allegedly being thrown at her by another group member. Call it fate, since leaving the group Naturi has achieved solo acting success unmatched by her former group members Adrienne Bailon and Kiely Williams. She is a true definition of a double threat that can act and sing. Naughton first showed off her acting chops as the principal role of Little Inez in Broadway musical "Hairspray". She then went on to tackle the big screen with roles in Notorious, Fame as well as the Lottery Ticket. Naughton also has degree in Political Science from Sexton Hall University. She’s a beauty and true talent with a bright future ahead of her that makes for an amazing role model. This could be the role that makes Naturi Naughton a household name and I’m excited to see what happens.

Make sure you check out the blog tomorrow for my picks for the rest of the week. What shows are you watching tonight?

Just for fun I've included a video from 3LW Playas Gon' Play

Dinner with a Toddler Heckler

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 05:28:00 +0000

I think most of us have encountered a toddler heckler at some point. Instead of shouting obstinacies these little people are sharing greetings and smiles. I’ve seen them out before even before I had a child. A joyful toddler calling me over and it never bothered me. I’ve even been touched by children before and although it was surprising. I wasn’t annoyed by it. On my previous encounters with toddler hecklers I’ve seen he looks of frustration on the parents face because apparently they have been at it all day greeting, calling and playing with complete strangers. Now it’s me with the little heckler. When we are out at dinner or really most places not a person gets past him without him telling them HI! Not a thing gets brought to the table without him telling the waitress or waiter “Thank You” loudly. He attracts a lot of attention and calls people over to the table giving hi fives and all. Now, I’m the one with the dumb look on my face because I can’t really stop him. At 22 months he really knows how to work a room. Maybe politicians are born and not made. He is usually on fire toddler heckling at restaurants. I think his goal is to attract as many people as possible over to the table. I’m sure this is a phase and he will grow out of it at some point. I would be more urgent in trying to stop him from doing this because I’m really uncomfortable with strangers being around him and he truly does cause a scene. I can’t help but be proud of the smiles he gets. The people that his little heckler greetings obviously made their day. I’m not sure if we get any dirty looks. I wouldn’t really notice anyways he’s not screaming and crying he just wants to say hello. Here is a little video from him toddler heckling at dinner the other night.

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 04:07:00 +0000

Put them to work early lol! 22 months earning his keep.

Racially Diverse Not I said Carnival Games for Nintendo Wii

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 03:37:00 +0000

Carnival Games for Nintendo Wii quietly left off the option to be able to change the colors or shades of the characters. I must make mention that there are however black people or should I really say “a black person” in the game. This character works at the Carnival is not a playable. This game has been out for several years. I recently got it and started playing. After a few minutes I noticed you couldn’t change the color of the characters. I looked on the internet to see if I could see anyone talking about it and didn’t really see anything. This is a problem. I’ve loved video games since the original Nintendo and that’s why this offense is terrible. We live in a day in age where there is so much diversity. It’s beautiful to see different races and blends of people. Growing up when I would visit my grandmother she did not let me play with anything but black dolls. My mother didn’t care. So when I would visit and we would be in a store and I would try to go for the White Barbie Granny wasn’t having that. I grew up being one of the few black kids at most of the schools I went to. I grew up around different mixtures of people. I understand my grandmother’s point. She wanted me to know that my color was beautiful and truth be told I probably had about 27 Barbie dolls and only one was black. I digress. I am a 31 year old black woman I shouldn’t HAVE to play as a specific color every time I play. How much does it cost to be able to add the option for character shades into a game? How did no one notice during testing of the game? I should be able to play with someone that looks like me! Shame on you Carnival Games! If you are black or really any other race that involves brown color and you’re doing a family games night don’t pick Carnival Games unless you want to be upset. This is not a racially diverse game and they wouldn’t have done it the other way around where all the characters had to be black. Why does the only Black dude have to WORK there? Carnival Games 2 is out and I’m not sure if the problem is fixed. But, I’m pretty much through with them. That was offensive and they don’t get another chance with me.

The hell with this! Do you want ice cream?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 03:33:00 +0000

My son is officially a toddler and has been for quite a little while now. Toddlers tend to have a reputation to be a bit cranky, stubborn and at times downright uncooperative. In the mist of all their new discoveries and skills they typically learn their new favorite word, NO! My 22 month old son is no exception. He has his days of defiance but for the most part he’s generally a pretty easy going, jolly little guy.

One of my favorite things about toddlers is the fact that they are so easy to read. You can typically tell by the look on their faces exactly how they are feeling. My little toddler is especially easy for me to read because he has big brown eyes. When I go to his room every morning to get him he greets me with a, “hi”. On those days mornings he’s in a great mood. There are other days when he sees me and starts whining those are usually a little grumpier. This particular morning however when I looked into his eyes I knew at some point during the day we were going to have a problem. He wasn’t grumpy but he obviously wasn’t in his normally jolly temperament. I just happened to be in a mood that day myself. I ignored the fact that he was semi annoyed and the day for the most part went off without a hitch. The problem arose around 5 pm when I decided he was going to be taking an early bath. My son is a lover of all things water and always enjoys having a bath. This day somehow he decided that he was going to have his water running the entire time he was in the tub. This is something we have never done before and really just came out of left field. Of course it was a no go. He wasn’t having that and cried during the bath. Afterwards he cried while he got dressed. He wasn’t done there he followed me into the kitchen and cried for an hour while holding on to my skirt. He was angry! I picked him up and held him the crying continued. I offered him a snack, milk, and juice and he shook his head no, still wailing. We went into the living room where he continued to have a tantrum. Typically, I don’t back down when I know for a fact my son is just being stubborn. I try not to reward bad behavior when he has tantrums.

This particular day I was weak. My nerves had their last scream. I wanted to cry with him but, I was certain that wouldn’t help. I hopped off the couch saying under my breath, “the hell with this”. I made a mad dash for the freezer and got the ice cream. He of course was still crying and had followed me into the kitchen. I opened the ice cream and offered him a spoonful hoping he was interested. He went for it! We went back into the living room where he ate ice cream for another 30 minutes until I could get him calmed down. This was his first tantrum where I wasn’t able to distract him enough to get him over it. I was desperate so I used the ice cream. I really hope my son doesn't grow up t be a jerk because I gave in with ice cream. What are some methods that you use to defuse a toddler tantrum?

I Potty Mommy

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 03:11:00 +0000

My potty training experience has been difficult so far to say the least. It has involved many a triumph but equally as many failures. My toddler is now 21 months. I wonder if I’m trying to early but according to the books he’s giving me the signs. At the moment we are in a bit of a let’s just say an awkward period. My son does not like to use the potty or wear a diaper hence my problem. My little streakier brings me all type of treasure including poop. The other day he even popped while wearing a diaper and crouched behind the potty while holding on to the top to support him while he squatted down and did business. I know there's a lot of while's in that but seriously there was just no other way to describe that scenario. This blog was originally titled. Alone stood the potty but as of right now the potty’s not so much alone right now. The situation has changed a bit the potty now has the company of a little liar. Let me explain, my toddler knows that everyone gets excited when he uses the potty. So, now days he is taking his diaper off to go sit on the potty. Then, after a few moments he says, “I potty “which I fall for every time (call me a sucker) I start cheering for him and saying, “YAY” only to discover that the potty is totally empty EVERYTIME! If I don’t make it over quite in time to see that there is nothing in there. I’m made aware by my little toddler picking up the potty slinging it around which of course would have wasted pee out if there was actually anything in there. The first few times he did this I was shocked. Then I thought well maybe he thought he had to. But when he did actually have to pee he did it on the kitchen floor and NOT in the potty and mind you he didn’t say a word. I’m still wondering if I scared him the last time he actually used the potty. I was so excited that I scared the crap outta him or back in. Either way he hasn’t used the potty since. My son has managed a way to trick me into giving him the potty claps with his little innocent lie. I was going to let it go after I realized what he was doing because I thought it would get him excited about it and really make him want to be a potty user. After two days of playing potty he took it too far. His dad was over and when he came in the door Trey runs over and said, “I potty daddy”. I had to do a double take. So, he’s decided to really roll with this whole potty lie huh? He’s gonna take this whole I potty thing on the road huh? Not on my watch. I informed everyone including him that it was not true and that if he wanted to be a I potty story teller he was going to have to actually USE the potty. He’s so cute and I’m still running over for the boy who cried potty. No new progress as of yet. He still isn’t using it only lies. I hope this change soon. I just don’t want to be handed another turd. Don’t ask! Lol!

The little potty liar

How do you measure a value of a toy?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 04:19:00 +0000

I look around the living room to see toys strewn around and always wonder to myself why I keep buying these things? Could it be because I want my toddler son to throw them around with such a vengeance that it’s has me wondering if somehow that toy had managed to do something to him? That’s a thought …… While walking I step on one of these toys and in mid stumble it hits me as to how one of them could have possibly done something to him as it had me.

This has gone all wrong. When I purchased these toys I had visions of my son enjoying and playing with them. I had imagined I would bring the toy in and say tahh dahh! He would run over laughing and smiling and it would be love at first sight. I would have never had excepted they would be used for balls and target practice. I keep buying them because I have hope in these toys. I put faith in them. To do what you ask? To divert the attention of my son from turning my tv on and off, from banging on my computer key board, I am looking for a toy with the power to keep him from turning the computer off while I’m mid stroke. I’m looking for the wow factor, something that will truly engage and stimulate him. I’m expecting hardy laughs and giggles. I want the kind of laughs that make a mothers heart melt my money. This quest has gotten very expensive and I have not had much success. Most of the toys seemed so promising at first. He would chuckle a little then eventually banish them to the pile of discarded and abandoned toys. When you look at toys on the store shelves they stare back at you and scream for their shinny packaging that has kids playing with and loving the toy. They seem to be screaming at you “take me home I can do the job”. Why do the boxes never show any of the kids crying? It’s happened to me a few times. I, many of times have been let down by these toys. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not the amount that you spend. The toys costing $1 to $5 dollars would at times really tickle my flaky toddler.

I spoke with a friend that is still paying off her Christmas debt. During that conversation she also mentioned that she just wanted everyone to have a good Christmas totally overspent. At the moment she didn’t even know where those Christmas debt toys were. She thought most of them had been thrown away. After talking it had me thinking I’m going to try a three present rule for Christmas (Yeah right). I realized most parents are all the same we waste tons of money on toys for our kids and we are all looking for the same wow factor. I’m technically trying to buy happiness for my son. What makes a toy valuable to me is how happy it makes him for us to play with it. I will continue to have trial in error in my search for the toy with the wow factor. But every smile or laugh I get is well worth the bad toy choices.

My son at 10 months

My son at 13 months

My son now 21 months during a playtime.