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December 30, 2011 HEADLINES OF THE DAY

2011-12-30T11:37:00.001-06:00

Sinead O'Connor: crack cocaine ended 16-day marriage
I mean, did she really think it was a good idea to marry crack cocaine?
Sinkhole threatens graves from 1800s
Graves respond by simply saying "Are you threatening me?"

December 29, 2011 VIDEO OF THE DAY

2011-12-29T20:02:00.003-06:00

Who in the world watched or enjoyed Cats anyway? That's one mystery of life I will never be able to answer...

December 28, 2011 IMAGE OF THE DAY

2011-12-28T12:22:00.003-06:00

The NBA is back, but it will never be the same without Yao.

December 27, 2011 HEADLINES OF THE DAY

2011-12-27T09:37:00.001-06:00

Hefner, ex-fiance battle over puppy
That's right, an 85 year-old man and a centerfold engaging in fisticuffs, over a puppy...at least, that's what I'm picturing.

Crandall Head to transfer from Illinois
No plans to change awesome name.

December 26, 2011 HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2011-12-26T09:46:00.000-06:00

Where does Syria's first lady stand?
Usually next to Syria's President, right?

December 22, 2011 VIDEO OF THE DAY

2011-12-22T09:19:00.001-06:00

My favorite Michael Jordan moment of all time. If only I can figure out what he yells at the end there...

December 22, 2011 HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2011-12-22T09:16:00.001-06:00

Ron Paul gets testy over newsletters He said testy, heh heh heh heh.

December 21, 2011 CONVERSATION OF THE DAY

2011-12-21T10:31:00.002-06:00

(All names have been changed to protect these idiots.)
President Obama: Do you think there are really people that buy their spouses a Lexus for Christmas and put a giant bow on it?
Do these people really exist?
Rod Roddy: My guess is that there is at least 1 person that does that each year.

December 20, 2011 VIDEO OF THE DAY

2011-12-20T12:29:00.002-06:00

"Happy Gilmore accomplished that feat no more than an hour ago." One of the classic movie quotes of all time.

December 20, 2011 HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2011-12-20T09:23:00.002-06:00

I'll miss this little bastard, if for no other reason than being able to laugh at pictures of him holding tomatoes.

December 19, 2011 VIDEO OF THE DAY

2011-12-19T15:15:00.001-06:00

Proving that Bert and Ernie weren't the most influential gay couple on television in the early 90's.

December 19, 2011 HEADLINES OF THE DAY

2011-12-19T15:12:00.001-06:00

Bachmann pauses in Iowa tour to talk 'myth' of Kinsey Report
Regardless of what this Kinsey Report is, this leads me to believe that it is probably 100% accurate.

North Korea mourns dead leader, son is 'Great Successor'
The rest of the world mourns the loss of the world's second-most hilarious midget (behind Danny Devito.)

Snowstorm threatens Southwest, Great Plains
Unfazed by Southwest's status as "desert" or Great Plains' preference for "twisters"

December 16, 2011 IMAGE OF THE DAY

2011-12-16T13:15:00.001-06:00

I feel like Earnest might have been unlawfully using something besides unidentified recordings...

December 16, 2011 HEADLINES OF THE DAY

2011-12-16T09:56:00.002-06:00

Flyers lose Pronger for year
He's a 6'6", 220 pound NHL All-Star, how hard can he be to find?

Emanuel spokeswoman Mather leaving City Hall
He should be back on Monday morning

December 15, 2011 HEADLINES OF THE DAY

2011-12-15T10:54:00.002-06:00

Wrong-way driver travels 11 miles on Edens
Can you imagine how perplexed this guy must have been while thinking that all the other cars were actually the ones going the wrong way?

Moonshine kills at least 133 in India
Anyone who has ever had real moonshine probably at least felt like they were going to die for a little bit the next day.

Woman Fatally Crushed in Midtown Elevator Accident
This is no way to go out. Have fun trying to ride an elevator after reading this story.

December 15, 2011 SONG OF THE YEAR

2011-12-15T10:42:00.002-06:00

It's actually just part of a song, but the best individual part of a song I've heard in a long time. I don't know, maybe I'm cray.

December 14, 2011 HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2011-12-14T11:09:00.004-06:00

'The Protester' is TIME's Person of Year
Yeah, I guess it was just one of those kind of years.

December 13, 2011 IMAGE OF THE DAY

2011-12-13T09:23:00.001-06:00

I don't know about you, but I don't even want to go in there.

December 12, 2011 HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2011-12-12T11:04:00.002-06:00

Caffeine Freaks Have Their Wedding in a Starbucks

Probably stayed up all night both before and after the wedding, and for the honeymoon...

December 12, 2011 IMAGE OF THE DAY

2011-12-12T10:07:00.002-06:00

Life moves a little bit slower in Helena, Montana...

December 9, 2011 VIDEO OF THE DAY

2011-12-09T11:22:00.001-06:00

Courtesy of Parks and Recreation, I'd bet my life that stranger, albeit less hilarious, things happen in public forums across America every day.

December 9, 2011 IMAGE OF THE DAY

2011-12-09T10:25:00.001-06:00

The Grinch who stole, well, it doesn't matter what this guy stole, he should definitely be in jail.

December 8, 2011 HEADLINES OF THE DAY

2011-12-08T08:57:00.001-06:00

India batsman tops highest 1-day cricket score
American sports fans far more interested in Ndamukong Suh crashing his car into a tree.

Borger: How Mitt should handle Newt
Mitt handling Newt sounds dirtier than anything Herman Cain could think up.

December 7, 2011 HEADLINE OF THE DAY

2011-12-07T11:21:00.001-06:00

Syrian president: Only 'crazy' leaders kill own people
He followed this up by refusing to comment on whether he would consider himself a 'crazy' leader.

December 7, 2011 IMAGE OF THE DAY

2011-12-07T10:35:00.001-06:00

I made this easy guide to help you figure out where you fall on the political spectrum.