The United We Stand Nation

Abortion

2011-12-06T23:43:00.001+08:00

There are lots of debates online that devoted to the topic about abortion. However emotionally or morally seemed correct to both side of debate, there is no way to solve this human problem just by claiming opinion that what’s the right and what’s wrong. Many attempt to argue abortion is the same as murder; many try to bring it with the woman’s right to control their own body. Eventually lead to the argument about definition of life, how to define human, and the specific age (in terms of weeks) to justify whether or not a group of atoms are considered a life.

But no matter how controversial this topic is, we are pretty sure religion will be a poor tool to help us to understand it. In any point throughout history, religion always gave us a seemingly clear and incontestable answer, but those answers changed with time and, of course, with the advancement of science. Without science, tool would not be available to examine the heartbeat of fetus in picture and be shown as an emotional appeal to outlaw abortion. Without science, there is no way that religious people can observe the formation of embryo and claim the holiness of life and the sin of ending a life.

Surely it is reassuring to believe that there is a god or gods who know which is right, or to believe there is a thing call “human right” can guide us without errors. But none of them is evident.

“Better by far to embrace the hard truth than a reassuring fable.” – Carl Sagan

G and K make all the difference, but can we see beyond that?

2011-12-02T03:28:00.001+08:00

Few years ago, I went to a school to prepare for an upcoming TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language) test. Although it was a short program, I had a good time there in that summer. And I also made a lot of friends came from all over the world like Japan, Peru, Brazil, Argentina, France, Spain, and Turkey. I think the class was a good way to learn the speaking and listening part of English because students can heard many various accents and distinguish their own pronunciation error which could cause misunderstanding. However, I was not anticipating that one day miscommunication could happen to me.

One day, a sunny afternoon, during a short break from the class, I was in meditation and was not in a talking mood. A few classmates were talking and one guy from Peru turned to me and asked me something in a Peru accent, and I heard:

“Hey, are you a gay?”

“What?” I was not sure how to react.

“Are you o’ gay?” I assumed that “o” and “a” pronounced similarly in Spanish.

“No,” I worried other classmates will heard it. And I was curious why he asked that question.

“What’s wrong? Did you go to see a doctor?”

“Err…No” I thought I just answered his question, but why he kept asking me like I am? However, I don’t agree anyone should go to a doctor just because he is a gay.

“You should go to a doctor if you feel sick,” he added. He looked very serious.

I started to suspect something was going wrong, especially the last word he said. I think nobody would be that rude anywhere else in the world. So, I asked:

“Can you repeat the first question again?”

This time he slowed down a bit, and pronounced it carefully, “Are you okay?”

Finally, I noticed the “k” was not a “g,” it was “okay” but not “a gay.”

And then we laughed so hard that everyone in the same floor can heard it.

It was a funny experience. But looking back from now; I feel the event was significant in some way to let me understand why there are many conflict and dispute in this world.

There are thousands of languages in planet Earth. Even within the same language, there exist different accents or dialects to separate us. Language barrier create culture barrier; culture barrier create mistrust; mistrust create perpetual hatred. As a result, political, territorial, economical, racial, and ideological conflicts seem endless; wars that sparked between counties and within counties seems unavoidable. Often, they would say they were fighting for a righteous reason. But, actually, childish is the only way to describe it if we can look from a perspective outside our selfishness nature and see humanity as a single organism. If we can just sit down, clear some misunderstanding, and learn more about each other before fighting each other to misery every time we encounter something we don’t agree with, what’s left could have been a good laugh instead.

It is to say that long ago, human used to have only one language and they stayed together to build a tower call Babel to reach heavens. So, God or gods, afraid of mankind to exceed they purpose to do, went down the earth and scattered them upon the Earth, and confused their language. But it may just another reassuring tale to explain our self-destruction tendency and our inability to unite. I believe human are more capable of greatness. Together, we can achieve more than Babel Tower, if we give ourselves a worthy goal.

About Occupy Wall Street

2011-10-14T04:40:00.001+08:00

Lately, I was thinking about how monetary system work, about the claims in Zeitgeist Movement, and scientific method. All these things I read, watch, and hear started to build up like a snow ball, while I have been pushed to have a job.

How Richard Feynman said about “Cargo Cult Science.”

What Michael Shermer wrote about belief system in “TheBelieving Brain.”

How Carl Sagan’s Cosmos talked about “sees the earth as asingle organism”

Also, the story in “Foundation And Earth” by Isaac Asimov, which is about the ultimate plan for human’s greater good.

The Credit Crisis in2008

At the same time, I was monitoring “Occupy Wall Street” and other similar movement around the US. Yeah, I think most of videos I saw on Youtube were pretty much pathetic. The point they should make is to spread messages, not to create mass with police.

But I wonder why they felt it is the fault of the top 1% but not the system. As “The Believing Brain” said, human need to personalize things happened around them in order to understand them, just like the old myths talks about winds, rains, volcanoes, earthquakes.

“We started to ask questions but there were no answers to befound; winds, rains, volcanoes, earthquakes; the rulers of life and death, theyseemed to be alive; they seemed to have a will of their own; so we got scared.”

Human being should not be blamed. It is the system we set up long ago that we haven’t thinks much of.

I think people have faith in monetary system is just like religion, many great scientist in history assume the existence of god and unmovable heaven without ever question it. Isaac Newton not only explains how to calculate gravitation, but he also “saw God as the masterful creator whose existence could not be denied in the face of the grandeur of all creation”, and an alchemist. And it is Aristotle who helped to hold the dominant view that the earth is the center of universe for nearly 1300 years.

The ultimate question is: How can we know which thing we believe is relatively right or wrong?

How do we know the system itself is the cause, not individual in the system or other variables?

Scientific method is the best way we know, but it needs time.

I hope it is not too late.

*you should click the link above if you are interestedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvfAtIJbatg&feature=channel_video_title#t=05m12sZ

Purpose of Life

2011-08-29T07:37:00.000+08:00

So, what is the point of living a life? I mean, for all those people telling me what life is all about, none of them make sense for me. Having a big house to live so you can spend the whole weekend to clean up the shit? Having a car to drive so you can have the freedom to crash into another car someday and perhaps have a lucky kill? Having a fixed sex mate so one day you can get tired of and have a divorce, spend the rest of your life finding another person to get rid of, and watching movie all day trying to figure out why love cannot be forever? In the sense of happiness, money make little difference if it is enough to support the basic of living. The pride of wealthiness disappear if you compare yourself with many more wealthy person.

There is no point in life. We are just a phenomenon happen on one point in this vast cosmos, just like lifeless dust, gas, planet, star, and galaxy. We create arbitrary purposes for ourselves because natural selection require us to do so.

And that's all I have to said after I drank a cup of coffee.

Bad Dream

2011-08-28T02:28:00.002+08:00

Last night, I dreamed about going back to Taiwanese Military for some unknown reason. Although it was probably the worst dream I can have, somehow I knew it is not real even it seemed real in every bit of my vision. I knew it is not real instantly because my skin still feel comfortable and there were not a single heavy weight on my shoulder.

However, the intense psychological pressure was still present. In the dream, they told me I still have few days left and so I followed the crowd and soon made formation just like we used to. After a while, again for no apparent reason, they picked me from the the formation, and started to tell me I have a very serious discipline problem, because I behaved like I have higher education so I don't have to follow their instruction, like I sometimes been told.

And then, I can not remember the rest of the dream.

The most uncomfortable and undesirable thing always going to be repeated in my dream, whether it was about my future or the past. Sadly, I cannot do anything about it. Right now, what I can do is just step by step and looking forward. Maybe, go toward a brighter future.

Being Free

2011-07-25T20:50:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I don't quite aware that I finally being free of doing lots of things. Since I got out from military, I stopped feel being threaten and forced to do anything I don't want to. But I think whatever I try, I just can't forgot my life in military. Even now, I feel I am on a vacation and I have to go back again, just like old times.
Anyway, my real new life began here in Pleasant Hill, California. I am pretty glad the weather is great, food is normal regardless how they said back in Taiwan, and people are generally friendly. Maybe I like here because I wanted to, like I hate Taiwanese Army because I intended to do so. But I don't care. Flash back to 8 years ago, I were still a freshman at high school, and I had always been terrified to think what job I am going to do, how life will suffer if I ever grow up. Right now, the future is never clearer than ever. There will be bumps along the road, but I can see it now.

--Do you believe it?
We're gonna make it now
And I can see it

I can see it now.

"Mine" by Taylor Swift --------"Mine" music video

I thought...

2011-05-17T22:58:00.005+08:00

I thought I want to search something interesting on the internet, but what I did is just spending my time escaping reality.

I thought I hate Taiwan, but what I actually hate is part of many unsolvable problems all around the world.

I thought I grow up during the past year, but I still look like I just finished a crappy education without skill and knowledge.

I thought I will be better, but I am not.

I thought I can be more optimistic, but it is hard.

My military life left only 53 days.

How did I made it through 282 days? I don’t know.

But I know I can not look back.

Cold

2011-01-30T09:25:00.002+08:00

I feel cold, not particularly because it's winter, but also because I feel cold inside. And I fear about ever going back to this island and ever mention this sad place in my rest of life. I feel pain in my bone, because I always have to carry something heavy or something troublesome. My hands are still grubby with dirt, lie, and shame that can never be washed out. My feet are hurt because I was forced to wearing uncomfortable boots and trapped inside without freedom. For me, this place is only served to torture young people both mentally and physically with excessive government power. Even worst, the very kind of volunteers is the kind with poor economic condition, broken family, or social disorder. In the result, this environment is filled with violence and it spread like a disease. I’m tired of this, but the end is still far away.

Been Changed

2010-10-02T22:33:00.005+08:00

I always thought my short stay in Iowa changed me the most, but it isn’t anymore. Right now, in the military, I feel I do things more selfishly, treat others more carelessly, and fake my emotion more successfully. The feel of desperation causes human ancient behavior to reveal again in this modern world. But if I think optimistically, I became tougher because of all the stresses in order to obey every command that officers made. And I became healthier because I have no excuses to not have exercise.

However, most important of all, I kept observing everything relative to acknowledge human behavior. In military, I saw how centralized decision making can made the whole system inefficient and corrupt from the very root. It was built in this kind of system. How can commanding officers care the difficulty and the time-consuming nature in a mission if the one who is actually doing it is not allowed to say how ridiculous the mission is and how most of the time is wasted on many unnecessary rules made for reasons that only serve to save some commander’s terrible management ability so he can receive remuneration for life after he retired? I just can’t see how this military can win any war or do anything efficient with a tendency of throwing money and time to an endless stupidity.

Serving in the military has both pros and cons, but I would rather be elsewhere. Maybe half way around the earth.

And by the way, I have no relative pictures to show. Remember, stupidity is always standing in the way of information flow.

Waiting and Escaping

2010-07-22T20:58:00.005+08:00

My life were pretty much all about waiting and escaping.

I don't really remember my preschool age that much, but I guess I was just waiting for grow up. I didn't have worries to escaping from except some rare incident that cause my parent's wrath, which I didn't have such ability to possibility avoid.

Six years of elementary school is the most violent environment I have ever experience, especially the latter years. I did't even know violence is not supposed to be the nature of education until I grew much older. In class, I will be slam in both hands if I don't hand in my homework in time, perform tests badly, or not behave accordingly. But I doubt that education is the purpose of such punishment, even at that little age I sense those intense anger and frustration on the faces of my teachers are the true reason. Why anger? Why frustration? I don't know. Maybe they thought education is all about indoctrinating the strictest moral value, so our future society can be more perfect, and failing to do so is endangering their reputation. Or, maybe they thought textbooks and tests is all students have to know. Remembering them is so easy that whoever fails the test must subject to laziness and stupidity. Sometimes I and my classmate were lucky that we knew our test score early, so we can count how many slam we ought to get and psychologically (even physically, don't ask me how) prepare for it. I always want to escape from it, naturally. But that was the only school nearby. We didn't have much choice, and my parents told me they went through the same thing, why can't I? Every time I had been punished hard, I wished I can grow up. Waiting was my only choice.

Junior High is a different place—at least a bit different. The crazy-manner, child-hater, and punish-addict kind of teacher no longer hold dominant number in the school. I think partly because there are more educated parents in the city (Yea, I moved) and partly because teachers were more often been criticized on media (and sued) as year passes. But some teachers still ignored the tendency of educational reform and constantly indoctrinated the discipline legitimacy (I rather call it child-abuse legitimacy) while continued their own style of penalty (Ass/hand-slamming and ear-twisting). I did violate those rules and got those penalties, every classmate did. However, that was not because I don't want to learn or I don't want to know. I felt bored remembering every detail in the textbooks and taking average 4 or 5 tests a day. I felt tired of doing endless and meaningless homework every night without really learning anything. I really wanted to leave somewhere else in any possible way at that time. But escaping everything teacher told me to do was the best I can do. I tried to treat school as a behavior adjusting facility rather than an educational institute. I copied most of my homework from others either at the morning or the 10 minutes break just before that class. I constantly cheated on tests in a tricky way (would you just don't bother to ask how?) so my tests won't be too high to get too much attention nor too low to be punished. Why not try just don't go to school? No. Those teachers knew and I knew that most students will think that way. No mercy, sorry. If I excuse myself from class for whatever reason, I have to finish homework and tests I missed with no exception. This will only makes my day worse. I was still waiting for time to pass; waiting for suffer to end. While knowing that the end was going to be a big test, decide which school I ought to be.

I once thought my high school life will be better, but it wasn't. For me, it is a psychological torture facility. Those teachers had stopped adjusting students, at least without a rod, but they had no idea how 9 years of "education" can made. All I remember in class is just constant devastating noises—no science learning, no problem solving, and no language-communication training, but only chatting, laughing, and murmuring exist. I really want to learn and listen to what teacher trying to say (at least some), though classmates' loud silly-talking block my flow of thinking all the way down to the end of day. The cause is not because there were more "bad" students in my school; it is the previous punish-leading education leads to the total distrust of authority; it is because most of student spent most their night went to other place for the purpose of "more effective learning" as well. In other words, student won't give a damn thing for what teacher said no more. They had already learned how to beat every test in expensive private school, and using public school only as a playground. Also, the part that I don't remember in class is because some class are so boring that everyone went to a complete sleep just after 5 minute the class began. Ironically, compare to ear-suffering status, sleeping and dreaming with a painful sitting posture in class was my only salvation. In a way, I went to joint club activity during my break between classes and lunch break just to escape. Overall, I was waiting, and I wished soon I can join the legendary free world, college. However, with no exception, I have to take a big test again. Unlike my last big test, my anxious disappeared—along with my courage to take another one.

Somehow, after the General Scholastic Ability Test, the summer break I had always waiting for was no longer just a summer break. I was totally free; no more fake summer break that I have to go to school half a day and carry a ton of homework back home; no more annoy psycho can tell me stop doing whatever I want and how important to do well on tests, so I can get an easy job, sit in an office, and doing nothing productive. Of course, I was waiting for college, the place I thought I can learn the very knowledge and truth.

Indeed, I was disappointed. The class was not as good as I thought it could be. And I didn't have much choice for what course I like, even what instructor I prefer to attend. It let me feels I returned my high school again. That is not the fault of Tatung University itself but the cause of commonly low tuition within this island. And I realized much later why choices can be so much expensive. But, regardless some disappointment, I was glad to learn more about the true world and to listen some mechanical product making method or real life experience. Also, I had much more free time to spend on what I like, despite the fact that some general and language course instructors still gave us meaningless homework and memory-based tests just like high school. It turns out that those free times are more valuable than anything. It seemed to me that, by the time I've spent one year deliberately using English excessively the same way as it is my first language, I've learned more than anything my 6 years of English education had ever taught me. Again, I tried to escape; I sometimes can't help but slept in class because I only had my free time at night; I read textbooks by myself to compensating my intentional absence of concentration on Chinese-base classes; And I wait, wait for a chance.

Every summer and winter after my freshman year, I would go to New York. That is a place too crowded for me, and those famous shopping places are like a pin in my eyes. Maybe I would like New York if I was raised lack of entertainment or fulfillment, but I was not. I already have internet as my entertainment and knowledge as my fulfillment. But anyway, thankfully, I can escape from the intolerable hot and humid weather in Taiwan.

Then, at the fourth year of my college, somehow I got my chance to go to Iowa State University for a short semester. I gradually understand what education really mean to offer is just guidance; not moral indoctrination; not remembering detail word-by-word. I felt like I belong to that place more than anywhere simply because I need guidance, the kind of guidance I lack during my whole life. However, I decided I can wait, patiently, just one more year of suffering. And I can probability thinking about how to mentally escaping it as well.

The Different One – Exchange Student Experience in Iowa State University

2010-04-06T01:17:00.071+08:00

I know I’m different. The different one who does not have much to say most of the time, because the indifference topic most people usually talk about. I am not interested in sharing religious believes, talking about superstitions, searching the best restaurant to eat, involving with other people’s relationships, watching sports, and shopping clothes. That’s almost all the people are talking about, and I don’t have a single word to say.

I’m well aware of that, but I’m not trying to change who I am. Because I don’t need people around me, I don’t feel lonely, and I sometimes feel more comfortable when no one can sense my existence.

But I do care about people. I care to know how we can make this world better, I care how to rethink our education method so we can make our next generation more creative, I care how to improve our government, so that our law, regulation, and policy can truly represent what people really want, I care how to change our financial system so those people who are productive can earn what they deserve.

Iowa State University is a good place for me. Not only because the great amount of knowledge I received, but also the special environment I’ve got to experience. There are nearly 28,000 students from all 50 states and more than 110 countries in this school. At the beginning of the semester, I stayed with a group of exchange students from all over the world: Mexico, Turkey, Singapore, Spain, U.K., Vietnam, Brazil, Norway, and Finland. They are the most different kind of group I’ve ever seen, but I still can share our common interest and value. After that, I mostly hang out with Taiwanese; they are the most kindness one. They do most of the help without considering any payback; even they know I only stay for a semester and probably wouldn’t ever come back. And I also have a good relationship with some Americans. They are the kind of people I have the most interest. I want to know how they are thinking about us, and what their point of view towards the rest of the world is. This is really a great place for my source of inspiration.

As my observation, all of them have very different state of mind; some are smart, with a clever mind; some are very sensitive, often over guessing the meaning of words; some are very talkative, they say as what they think; some are hard working, have to got a job so they can have education; some are dependent, but learned step by step towards independence; some are isolated, because of the culture difference; some are just good people, provide helps whatever they can; some lost their goal of life, don’t know what kind of job they should do; some are selfish, the action and reaction is all about themselves; some enjoy their life very well, have fun at every moment; some want to stay in the U.S. desperately, hoping to have a better life.

All those experience with those very different kinds remind me a little part of me. I have some of those characters some time, but with different circumstance and different level. As experiences of observation and self-examination growth, I figure that the differences of actions and reactions between people are mostly depending on every past experience they’ve got. Although this is a very complex relationship associate with their gene and mental/physical status at the time of event, there still have some clue we can find to make a correct prediction.

But its differences are absolutely what human need. Differences may often cause confusion and misunderstanding, but the differences between us also determines the value of every single individual in this century. Doing the same thing everybody can do over and over again is no longer what society need. Differences make us unique; make us irreplaceable among all 6.8 billion human beings. And Education can let us discover our potential out of differences.

Education

The most things I worry about Taiwan is education, the most inferential and valuable investment. Because the experience I’ve got from more than 15 years of education tells me that Taiwan’s education system is not designed for inspiring creativity, breeding different individual, and preparing needs of future. Instead, the first 12 grade has unintentionally been built to imprison children’s open minds. Students constantly been told to give up what they love to follow a model of success. Even though more and more evidence show that the success of yesterday is not applicable for the triumph of tomorrow. Parents are absolutely eager to spend their money to children’s education. But they fail to spend in the right direction and twisted the whole purpose of standard test. They’ve changed education to a meaningless high cost and useless competition. Then, unfortunately, when students get a chance to decide what to learn for their future in their university, the passion of learning and desire to choice are no longer existed. The only thing left to do is continue this success model until one day it breaks.

This crisis is, of course, recognizable within this island. But during my exchange program, I found out how similar this problem we face all around the globe. Several Singaporeans told me the same things also happened in Singapore. Most of students from Asia don’t know what kind of job they want or what subject or area they are interested in. They see future as an unpredictable path lies on the production line arbitrarily assemble by their parents. Free higher education in Europe sounds like a perfect solution, but the lack of selection process (for students) and limited teaching resource reduce the effectiveness on their system. On the other hand, Americans face their own problem, too. Although their high quality of university education environment makes the whole system more efficient, skyrocketing tuition cost makes them suffer on economic level. Intense unnecessary competition among universities builds up the price. It cost more than just money, but also causes the attainment to defer and even decrease. Only 27.7% had earned a Bachelor's degree(or higher) in the United States.

I believe the solution is out there. Waiting for the emerging of internet technology, government legislation, and most important of all, the mind set of all human to change. The power is in people’s hands if they want to.

We can ask ourselves: What if we redesign our education with an eye towards the future with today’s available technology?

All world governments and education institutions should work together as a single group and pursuit one single purpose: To provide every human being all known knowledge, technique, and method towards the usage for greater good of mankind. We can’t afford to not educate people just because they are poor or their parents couldn’t pay for it. We can’t afford putting teaching resources separated in inefficient way. We can’t afford to give away our education to those self-interest politician and private profit-driven institutions building knowledge walls against open knowledge society.

We, together, should concentrate our education resources to build a world class cyber education system. Truly connect all instructors and students using information technology so feedback can be effectively sent, changes can be made, and improvement can be achieved. Funding is provided by governments to reward good instructors (examined by feedback systems), support scientific research and invention, and build infrastructure for educational purpose. Also, we should systematically eliminate protectionism within the scientific community. Human prosperity should not be sacrificed for short-term profit. Educational books and resources will neither be expensive nor scarce, learning motive will not be suppressed by local policy maker, true educator’s ability can finally reach to everybody, every one of us, on our planet Earth.

Life

From the very beginning when I know I’m going to live in Iowa, I know it will be different. But I was still amazed by so many surprises along the way.

Experience on the first few days of activity with exchange students is exciting. In fact, those students from all over the world make me wonder: How on earth could they gather so many across this wild world? All their languages, cultures, and appearances are so much different. But all of them are able to speak the same language and have the same goal: To live in a foreign country to learn. Although we have greater language barrier and greater culture difference, we generally still have a good friendship.

International students are different. 80% of them came from China, one of the fastest growing developing countries in the world. I didn’t like it at the beginning. This makes me indistinguishable among them. But few months later after I deliberately shout out loud the name “Taiwan” on the international student orientation on the “introduce what country you came from” part in front of hundreds of “Chinese”. I gradually realized the larger picture. After all, we human all came from the same place. Divide people against each other is meaningless.

Population density largely decides the way of life. You cannot buy something hot, cheap, and delicious to eat at 12 p.m. You must travel more distance to get some services. And you find out that sometimes it’s so hard to see human on the street. Although everyone lives far away, people who want to do the same thing can always get together and make a good effort. In some ways, resource for specific activity can be easily concentrated without negative effect on others.

Walking on the central camp in ISU is a joy. In summer time, the brightest sunlight shines, and everything became so colorful to the point where you have to wear sunglasses. In fall, all trees changed its color, and leafs started to fall down. Create a whole new wonderful picture with the fading sun. And in winter, the coldest winter I have ever seen. I experienced the first blizzard in my life, and watched the blowing snow traveling a great speed at 5 degree angle across the ground. Also, I once stood in the middle of a parking lot watching and feeling snow coming down slowly. At that moment, I had no doubt that I found the true peace in my mind.

And maybe, by sharing my thought on this journey to as many people as I could, I can fulfill my duty as an exchange student.

Thanks for all the professors and many university employees on both Taiwan and Iowa who help me so much during this exchange program. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Timeless life

2010-03-25T02:30:00.007+08:00

Imagine living in a timeless life. Where you eat when you hungry, you sleep when you tired, and you do your work whenever you want to.

That's the current state of my life, except for Tuesday and Thursday when I have class. I can listen to music as I read some web news, watching music video while searching for lyrics, and lying on my bed overwhelmed by the wonderfulness of Planet Earth without aware of time. Most recently, watching Pomplamoose Music video and recall the first time I hear their music in my little room at Iowa State. That memory contains not just images, but the feeling of environment as well.

Anyway, I'm sure this kind of life will not keep going for long. So, I better find a way to remember it. That's this blog for, isn't it?

Nervous System

2010-03-13T06:38:00.003+08:00

Recently I feel like I have a problem with doing meaningful things. I only have class 2 days a week, have almost no homework to do, and have nothing but my laptop accompany. I don't know why, but something stops me from doing anything productive. Yeah, you can say I'm lazy. But I really want to do something useful.

One night I woke up with this insecurity feeling and started to review my recent life. Almost nothing, nothing is significant enough to stands on the way after Iowa. But at the same time what I can do now is an important factor that can affect my future. So I should find a way to do things differently.

By the way, how many of you guys think of what is the true purpose of life? For what reason human work so hard to live?

For now on, my answer is quite simple. The source of motivation is just the stimulation upon human nervous system.

Alien Mind

2010-01-16T03:33:00.008+08:00

I feel like an alien in Iowa State University, of course. But feel like an alien in Taiwan is a new thing for me.

The feeling of being an alien, obviously, comes from differences of the outward appearance of human beings. Like height, color of hair, color of eyes and skull structure. And it also comes from immanence, like language and culture. At first, it seems like it is other people’s fault that makes me feel weird and unpredictable towards their action. But as I stay in an alien group long enough (three different kind of group: American, Asian and European), I developed some strategy to deal every kinds of them. Then I have to shift my mind set if I meet two groups of them in one day. At that time, I’m not trying to be the guy that say everything that is “pleasant to hear” to every kinds of group. I just want to use this exchange student opportunity well so I can observe as more as I can. Regardless of Observation, I began to feel like an outsider everywhere even in Taiwanese groups. This feeling grew noticeably at the end of semester. And when I arrived at the airport of Taiwan, I was no longer in the same mind.

Everything’s changed since.

Acting silence more often, for the greater good, so I wouldn’t be able to leak out more unnecessary information to the rest of the world.

Writing

2009-10-28T12:03:00.010+08:00

I've tried to write a article several times, but nothing came out well. Every time I pick a topic and started to write, I would end up struck in the middle of a sentence. And felt too awkward to write anything farther. So after I tried about three times, I gave up, and then wrote this blog about I can't write anything instead.

I was laughing myself and wonder why, but the answer could be serious. I'm not ready to write a meaningful and intellectual blog yet. What I should do now, is to improve the skill of writing, read as more as I can, so I can emulate the other writer's expression method.

It's so hard to learn a language all over again, after wasting time in front of thousands of English test paper in my fucking education/imprisonment. I truly wish I could have a different childhood, so many things wouldn't happen like this(just saying).

But what's more important for me is to face the fact that the only things worth to do right now is to stop complaining, and do something worthiness.

Mind Prison

2009-08-01T03:00:00.006+08:00

No doubt, school in Taiwan are built like prison, fill with walls, fences, and security guards. Not only prevent contact with outsiders, but also avoid students to get away any easier. Teachers and all the other education system staffs tried every possible reason and excuse to expand the time of schooling. In the worst case, 14 hours a day at school in last several months of 9th grade.

But the real thing they put in those prisons is not actually your physical body; it is your young, free, creative, and innocent mind. Those walls, fences, and guards alone can’t keep you inside a small, tightened, and uncomfortable seat, force you to do thousands of tests a week, and doing nothing but memorizing knowledge whole day that you probably wouldn’t use for the rest of your life. It’s an illusion that trapped, and fooled those minds.

An illusion of having a wealthy and happy life if you do well on all tests just like those people in upper class but not those poor guys in working class.

An illusion that let you think it is worth to give up those dreams and interest you had and end up doing a job you won’t like.

An illusion that everybody believe in; An illusion that everyone in it will try their best to fool others, so the illusion itself wouldn’t break anytime sooner than their death.

I was in that illusion once, but the frustration to give up my dreams is the reason why I have to break out and find another path of life.

Because these things will change,
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down,
It's a revolution,
The time will come for us to finally win,
- "Change" by Taylor Swift

Now listen, here I am, my American Dream.

Internet, computers, and the generation like me

2009-07-08T07:59:00.005+08:00

I don’t know how they call us, the generation of my age. But recently I think I find out some part of reason why we have similar characteristics.
The desire of getting the power to control things is permanently in human natural, and it’s the result of evolution. In other words, naturally, people like to do things that benefit themselves most; people tend to do things they though fit. The reason why some people in my age are so obsess in computers and The Internet is the fact that they often over controlled by their parents. Their life path is fixed in a tiny little box holding in hands, and put into those parents’ perfect production line, trying to make them the exact same sharp as their parents want. So they resisted, and been punished and/or been convinced. Eventually, gave up their childhood dream and being a “good” girl or boy, so they can at least have a peaceful teenage life.
But at the buttom of their mind, they still want to achieve something, to achieve things that others won’t be able to. So those people and two world’s greatest inventions merged. Children can learn how to use these great tools without the rejection of changes like their parents. Children can reach knowledge without the “physical protection” their parents hope to exist. For the first time, children can control things their parents can’t; children are asked for help because their parents can’t figure out; children can have the ability to break the connection limits with the world.
In front of a computer, they can do whatever they want to; they can say whatever they want to say; they can be whoever they want to be. Without the knowledge of their parents. That’s why the generation like me spends so much time on computer just trying to be connected.
Thankfully, that’s not complete a bad thing. The efficiency and ability of collect and filter information is exactly this world needs, right?

Mute Experiences

2009-07-01T09:17:00.010+08:00

Have you ever have experiences that you really want to mute someone just like mute TV?

I do, a lot of time.

Sometimes people tend to say the same things again and again in different ways and won't tired of it(but apparently others do), and you really want to mute them. You can't actually point a controller at them like TV, but you can wear your headphone so you won't hear anything.

I don't know I can have any different experiences other than the happiness of hear what you want to hear while wearing a headphone. But at a scene you watch a group of people speaking soundless, you feel so much fun. It's like a muted live 3D advertisement.

And it is unnecessary to turn it off, because the price of inefficiency of energy usage will not add to your next month's utility bill.

4 Days After Arrived

2009-06-30T22:32:00.011+08:00

It's been 4 days since I arrived in New York.

Day one is not completely in New York, but I can say that's a lucky day. I arrived about 11pm. Luckily have my baggage early. Luckily helped by a lady so I can went through the subway door quickly, and got in the E-train just in time, and got a chance to talk to an amazing/beautiful girl(major in film!!, never hear of before) in the subway. That's something that I never expect.

In that day I first experience the potential of how helping can make things better and efficient. And see things differently so I can enjoy every moment rather then just keep complaining.

That night, in bed, I was just singing "I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know. I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on. Oh I'm just a boy, trying to find a place in This world".

Day two and three are both shopping day. It's not a boring day though. We've got to go to a new supermarket and couple electric stores. We bought a lot of food and a laptop which ensure that I can eating while using the computer with out running out of food(just kidding).

Day four. I am sick. What do you expect me to say? It sucks?

By the way, this blog is written using Dvorak. Isn't it great?

A piece of cake

2009-06-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

I found myself in a position where I keep complaining constantly.

Complaining anything from education system to traffic, from weather to people, from cars to buildings. I just keep complaining almost everything that happened to me. I can’t find a way to stop it. Although I can keep my fake little smile on my face, I’m still not happy right now.

What about my exchange student plan? Think this way: you want to taste a cake, and it looks like really delicious. But you have thousands of people warm you it could contain heavy metal, radioactive wastes, and dog shit. Can you still feel cool to eating this?

But I think the life in America is gonna be just like a piece of cake.

DAN BROWN

2009-06-09T02:57:00.009+08:00

Well, about Dan Brown, he is a video blogger in YouTube which I guess is the best way to call him.

He is the few I though is smart. And most importantly, he makes fun, interesting, and meaningful videos, accurately, 90% of the time.

So, check it out. You will have some fun~

And, here is an awesome video that you won't find in his youtube channel.

Stealing Time

2009-06-07T04:01:00.006+08:00

4 am in the morning. Stealing time at the first hour of a day. Can't sleep, trying to know why.
There are bunch of reasons I think are possible for causes.
Unpreparedness and uncertainty of the exchange student plan. Undone and can’t-be-done-efficiently homework, reports, and preparedness of tests. Excitement and worry of living fairer and better life.
All those things add together, make me feel like I have to write again. Write about my feelings, so I can go back to normal. This is the time when I saw myself changed most.
The time of the darkest and longest night before sunrise.

But honesty, I think maybe it’s just because the ice black tea.

Waiting

2009-04-21T17:38:00.005+08:00

Waiting for something badly is the status of me. And I was trying to think "You do everything you can do, and hope for the best. But do not expect anything".

And also, I started to take care more at my face, hair, teeth and body. Because I think ultimately those will become the most important things someday.

The insecurity

2009-02-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had the feeling that when you walk on the street you wounding too much that something is goanna happened to you or you are goanna embarrassed yourself? That kind of insecurity is the reason why I feel depression most of the time in New York.

But after I review the state of my mind, I find that the origin of insecurity is cause by elders in my family, instead of the true state of security or the event happened to me.

Those elders will tell you every kind of scary story they heard to show you that U.S. is a country fill with thief, liar and murderer. Those stories scared the shit out of me. I tried not to think those stuffs too seriously. But by the fact that you have to listen to them to tell those stories again and again and again. You wouldn’t have the chance to forget it. Those things just like a barrier being deliberately implanted in my subconscious, so I can act more like Chinese instead those “foreigners” (which those elders always call them).

This is not the way I like. More accurately, I hate the whole process of “remind and admonish”, which include at least three times of “what you should do” and countless of storytelling which about some guys mess up everything and looking like a stupid crap. Also, this will be repeated again when they feel it has a little connection between their meaningless daily conversations.

This “for your own good” thing bothers me more and more often. Because I think it is not usually for my own good. All those stories they told is just examples or events that happened (or they think it will happened). It’s just the sum of all the bad things they heard in their whole life, and it’s not the major thing that really should pay attention to.

Maybe there have a small chance that there has a group of thief targeting guys travel alone, trying to steal their bags beside the scanning machine (in the airport). But what exactly rate of these crime happened? Once per month? While I put my attention into every those little things, I could missing something that really matters. (Just like last time when I crossing the scanning machine… Oh gosh, I don’t even want to mention about it).

So, please please please, don’t do this to me again. I can’t take it anymore.

Taylor Swift

2009-01-22T00:25:00.012+08:00

Just about couple days after my final test ended, I run out of things to do. So I started to randomly look up files in my computer and listen to some country music. But after review almost all interesting movies, pictures, novels, and magazines. I feel boring again. I also tried to writing my blog that I abandon nearly half of the year. Unfortunately, that didn’t make me feel vital either.

But while I looked at the monitor wandering what to do, I saw winamp’s playlist showing “Taylor Swift – Our song” and didn’t even know who the singer is. So I look deep into the internet and find out that she is actually a very young and talented singer, began her successful career at the age of 16, win many fan voted awards like GAC’s.

I find out that the more I see videos about Taylor the more I being impressed by her. She is that kinds of people have their dream come true, but not act like she satisfies present accomplishment. She even filmed her self-made video and put it in her blog while she go around places singing her song in order to remind people to buy her new album. And most important of all, she is not only looks beautiful, but have special personalities.

What’s my point anyway?

I like her attitude of deal with things. I like every movement she sings. I like her mysterious smile. I can see her video like hundred times that I can still laugh.

I almost in love with her.

Here is Taylor Swift

"I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world"

-Taylor Swift - "A Place In This World"