Fortunately I found an open multimedia lab to pull the images from my camera's memory card and edit/export them. Now that I've finished that, my laptop has decided to boot properly. Once again, fuck computers.L
Over the past few days in my religions class, I was able to formulate an analogy between computers and religions. Like everything that comes from my head, it's extremely clever. Allow me to illustrate:
Linux/GNU is Buddhism
Two of the understood principals of Buddhism are that change is constant and life is full of suffering. So the goal is to be able to accept this constant state of change while being the best person you can possibly be. This is the underlying principal of the Linux/open-source community. Technologies are constantly being rolled out, version after version after version. Since we all accept that computers are tools to help accomplish tasks that would normally be impossible with the human conscious alone, Linux users seek to get the most out of their hardware and software (which really isn't often the case).
Buddhists strive to achieve "enlightenment" through a multitude of rituals, methods, and practices. These rituals are conducted alone, in small groups, or large groups. Similarly, Linux users can choose from hundreds of programs (most of them suck) in order to accomplish their tasks effortlessly. Additionally, the path to enlightenment is controlled solely by the individual. With Linux, bugs and other things are often resolved by the users themselves, either through patches or bug submissions, which are ultimately rectified by the programmers.
Buddhists often gravitate toward a simplistic lifestyle, but the underlying principals of their beliefs can be quite complex. Similarly, with Linux, one can run a vanilla installation of Ubuntu or Fedora and do all of their basic tasks effortlessly (so long as it doesn't involve gaming or camera RAW editing). However, the underlying mechanics of the Linux operating system are quite complex and well-structured.
Buddhists will often live in communities, monasteries, or sanghas, where they will practice their traditions; just as Linux users will congregate on online message boards, exchanging ideas, helping one another, and generally being compassionate (aside from the not-so-meager portion of elitist snobs).
There are many different flavors of Linux, just as there are many flavors of Buddhism. Theravada and Debian (or Gentoo)? They're two strict, highly conservative versions. Manyaha/Ubuntu? Buddhism and Linux for everybody!
Anybody is open to participate, following the original teachings of the Buddha--I mean, Linus Torvalds.
Mac is Judaism
For some reason society at large dislikes the Jew, and I'm not sure why. For a long time Jews were outcasted from society, indeed almost exterminated from the planet completely. The same thing happened to the Apple Macintosh. For a long time everybody hated the Mac and users thereof. They were inferior, disillusioned, and their market share was nearly gone. Until about five years ago, Macs suffered heavily. Now they're everywhere, and you can't stop them. They're taking over, just like the Jew has taken over Hollywood (don't worry, I say that somewhat facetiously).
But really, let's face it. Macs are the trend-setters. People flock to indie coffee shops to sit with their iBooks and MacBook Pros to look at the latest pricey offerings from the Prophet Steve Jobs. Their methods are often misunderstood or rebuked by outsiders, and the Cult of Mac, like the Kaballah, harbors a growing list of followers.
Windows/PCs are Christianity
Come on, was there any doubt in your mind? The platform that has secured nearly 95% of the market share over the past two decades still maintains its grip on society as much as possible. Just as Christianity borrowed many key concepts from Judaism, PCs have borrowed (a highly controversial topic) many ideas from the Mac and its predecessors. Both Windows and Christianity have a long history of blood on their hands as well.
With Christianity, the path to salvation lies through God. It is a gift from above, similar to the subsequent (shitty) batches of updates, service packs, and operating systems offered from Microsoft above. One may communicate with Microsoft through prayer, which is done by sending error reports. Sadly, just like in Christianity, these prayers are never heard of answered.
Many people follow Christianity, or use Windows, simply because that's how they were raised. They see no reason to change, and, even though most Christians don't even practice their fucking faith, see their traditions as being the only true and right ones.
Recently both Christians and Microsoft have felt a massive threat to their power structure. While Christians see no limits to criticizing those who protest or refuse to follow its teachings, Microsoft does all it can to implement anti-piracy and "Windows® Genuine™™ Advantage®™©" campaigns. Both Christians and Microsoft like to stroke the governments big, federal cock.
Microsoft is full of flaws and hypocrisies, much like the predominant religion in the world. And, just as Christianity has many denominations, Microsoft likes to release five different versions of the same product. And they all do the same thing.
I've tried to remain as unbiased as possible, though it is quite clear that, as a confirmed Catholic, I hate Christianity. However, I couldn't help but notice that many key concepts in each religion seem to line up with the practices, both conscious and unconscious, of different computing platforms.
What is the moral? Computers and religions are capable of incredible things, advancing the human race far beyond its own conscious potential. However, in an organized fashion, computers and religions are a bad thing. A very bad thing used to enslave humans and enforce agendas.
]]>
