How do we get those knots out of their fur?

And live?

As seen here, I have long haired cats. Shelters in the Northeast tend to accumulate such mixes.

(Olwyn looks like she’s quite a distance away from RJ, but she’s not. She’s rather petite, and RJ is just that big. Click on the picture for full size.)

But while I have long haired cats, they don’t give me the same coat grooming challenges. James Bond (medium length) and Olwyn (long length) never get knots; Puffy (long and very fine) used to get them if I didn’t stay on top of it twice a week, and Reverend Jim (long and very thick) will accumulate them on his hips if I don’t pay special attention.

There are three factors:

The length. I know it seems obvious, but the longer the fur, the more surface opportunities to knot up and create the impenetrable mass that resists combing and brushing. James Bond has fine fur, but it’s not long enough to give either of us trouble.

The texture. A cat with recent Persian influence will have very fine fur that knots when you look at it. “Natural breeds” like the Maine Coon, Norwegian Forest Cat, and Siberian tend to have fur that is thicker individually, and less knot-prone. RJ has a fine undercoat that is short, and his longer fur is thicker and coarser.

The guard hairs. These are the thick, stiff variety of fur which sheds water and snow. They are missing in many breeds designed to have long, soft, fur. When a cat does have them, it tends to keep the fine undercoat separated, and less knot-prone. Olwyn has long, very fine, fur, but it’s interspersed with abundant guard hairs.

Our cat’s coat will dictate the number and kind of grooming tools we use, and how often. I realized RJ had knots on his hips when I was delivering some scritches there. The comb had been gliding over them without my being aware of it; since he has protrusions of bone there, I don’t bear down in such a tricky area. So now it’s time for the right tool; a mat splitter.

Far too often, people try to either rip them out, or cut them out. But both of these plans are fraught with peril. We often don’t have a cat who is patient enough to let us tease them out, so then we are tempted to dig in with the comb and just get them out. But we certainly wouldn’t like this option tried on us. And we risk our cat never letting us near them with a comb again.

Likewise, we can sensibly decide yanking them out is a bad idea, but cutting them out with scissors can be an equally poor option. We still have to immobilize the cat, and our scissors can catch sensitive skin. Now the cat is planning to never let us near them. Period.

The mat splitter is a guarded razor blade in a handle. We notch the point into the mat, and cut through it, while the part which touches the cat’s skin cannot cut them.

Unlike a scissor, it tends to leave the unmatted fur behind. Since it cuts through the mat, it doesn’t pull on our cat’s sensitive skin. A few passes, and our comb can take the rest of the mat out with unbelievable ease.

Now our cat’s coat is matfree, we didn’t hurt them, and their fur doesn’t have a big hole in it!

For extra safety with squirmy cats, we can get a dematting rake. This has the razor blade embedded in the comb’s teeth; not quite the same professional look afterwards, but much safer for both the cat and ourselves.

When we get our cat used to a grooming routine, we eliminate 90% of our knot chances. But even though my cats love the ritual, and the treats afterwards, knots can still pop up. Here’s what to watch out for:

Speed. Puffy used to need grooming twice a week. Persians will need it every day. That’s how fast a knot can form.

Spots. All along the spine is often where knots appear, because the angle makes it difficult for cats to groom there. Their chest and neck have similar access challenges. Sometimes it doesn’t matter, as on their face, where the fur is short. But places where fur mingles, such as where their legs meet their body, is probably trouble.

Sensitivity. RJ got his knots right where his hips are close to the skin. I wasn’t bearing down there because it would hurt him. But now that I know he can get knots there, I’ll have to slow down and check with my fingertips.

All long haired cats have a Persian base. But for many breeds, it was far in the past, and mixed with more rugged attributes, such as their guard hairs. This can create mixes who need no more grooming than a short haired cat; or mixes who need the same daily fussing as a purebred’s coat does.

Kittens take a while to develop their guard hairs, so we can’t tell how much grooming we are signing up for when we adopt them at a young age. But since we are planning to make grooming just another bonding experience, it shouldn’t matter too much.

In addition to mat tools, I also have shedding tools, like the FURminator. Pulling out the dead underfur keeps knots from happening even better than combing or brushing does, and will keep fur off our furniture, floor, and clothes; and out of our cat’s digestive system.

Win-win.

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The funny part is that people are not that different. One barrier we might have to overcome when re-training our cat is our own fear of change.

What will this new cat be like?

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Equally daunting can be asking: What will be expected of us? For some people, the thought of training a cat can seem overwhelming, and unlikely.

These kinds of thoughts result in people who are exasperated with their cat’s behaviors, but either ignore them (and the cat) or come up with destructive behaviors of their own to handle the misbehavior.

Both of these approaches are bad for the cat.

It can seem that “putting up” with the bad behavior is kind to the cat. But it is not. We cannot have the desired closeness with our cat if we are apprehensive about the behavior happening again, or angry about the behavior happening at all.

Cats, being sensitive, will pick up on our apprehension. They will become more apprehensive themselves, and this can increase their bad behavior. They will be more likely to be suspicious about our gestures of friendship.

Doing the wrong thing is even worse. People who declaw instead of providing training and scratching posts, or don’t alter the cat and then shove an unprepared housecat outside because of territory marking, are harming the cat outright; the cat would have been better off without these interventions.

If “ignoring” the behavior means we don’t let the cat into rooms we are in, or push them outside so they can’t misbehave in the house, we certainly don’t have the cat companionship we wanted. If the bad behavior is medically related, as many instances of inappropriate elimination and scratching often is, we are letting our cat suffer poor health.

Whether we get a vet to do it, or we let the cat be vulnerable to fights with other cats, or getting run over on the roads nearby; we are still hurting the cat. If we can’t handle the cat’s behavior, it’s more adult to admit it. Either address the problem, properly, or take the cat to a no-kill shelter. Attempting punitive and harsh methods of behavior modification will simply drive both of us crazier.

Even admitting we have a cat problem often requires a change in our mindset. Deciding we don’t have a cat problem because the cat is never around is just a mind game we play on ourselves.

If we don’t want a cat, it’s actually kinder to not have one.

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If we aren’t… it’s probably our own fault.

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If we are not viewing our cat’s activities through a framework of communication, many of our cats’ attempts to reach us will be dismissed or ignored. This has two bad outcomes; we aren’t figuring out that our cats really are trying to communicate with us, and it can make our cats conclude we aren’t bright enough to be worth the effort.

Even our cat’s most assertive and compatible communication method, direct verbal requests, are often regarded as “yet another” request for food. If it’s near mealtime, they are given food, and if it’s not mealtime, they are scolded for being a nag about it. But how do we know that’s what they are asking for?

Even if we have progressed enough in our cat relationship to understand their “food cry,” it can still be the case that they don’t necessarily want food. We might have trained them that the “food cry” means we will get up and do something far more reliably than other methods.

Once we are on our feet, our cat might have something else to tell us. If we are not open to this possibility, our cat cannot make it happen.

Underestimating our cat’s abilities will limit our cat’s abilities.

It can be a trap we fall into when we assume that since our cat’s needs are simple and direct, their ways of asking for them are direct and simple. And we’re done.

Well, that wasn’t the point of getting a cat, I hope. I hope the impetus was companionship.

Otherwise, we might as well get the keychain version where we have to press a button every so often. Cats are living, thinking, feeling beings, and are not only more complicated than keychains, they should be far more fun.

So the next time the cat asks for something, open a dialogue. Express our willingness to listen. Follow them to where they want to go, or walk to the toybox to see if we can give them a play session instead of a treat.

Let the cat know we are interested in more than just opening a can, or not. When we do that, we let the cat have a chance to really speak up.

And find out what they have to say.

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Of course they are! This is how they hunt. This is how they live.

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The Predator Peek is how a cat will slide the top of their head, ears held back, over a barrier, so that as little as possible of them is showing. This is how they watch birds from windows and mice from hiding. This is not learned behavior; cats who drank from a bottle and never hunted with their mother will still do the Predator Peek.

Sneaky lets a solitary creature use stealth and cunning to get dinner. Sneaky also means intelligence; sneaky doesn’t work, otherwise.

This is part of the Cat Package; the smarts, the cunning, the fun. Because cats play games this way, too. Hide & seek, tucking a toy under a throw rug, and losing their balls-with-bells under the fridge; it’s all part of sneaking up on things.

It activates their imagination, because they have to imagine all the different ways their prey could react to their attack. It strengthens their conceptual abilities, because they need to visualize plans. It enhances their logical reasoning, as they work out possible combinations of different actions.

This makes cats quiet and clean and trainable; all wonderful attributes for a pet to have.

So when people complain they don’t like cats because they’re “sneaky,” I just laugh. This is an incredible and useful feature; not a bug.

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We do ourselves a favor by making our home, at least temporarily, into an area that lowers the chances of a crash-boom-anguish event.

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The number of variables in this situation are considerable, and will have an impact on our preparations.

The kind of kitten. We can have a quiet little Gamma or a whirling dervish of an Alpha. Some kittens calm down quickly, and some never do.

Some kittens amuse themselves; whether we like it or not. Other kittens demand attention and particular kinds of play; they don’t know how to stop asking for what they need.

Choosing a kitten carefully will help us get the level of independence/interaction we both want.

The number of playmates. We can have older cats or sedate dogs who don’t want to play with the kitten, or a combination of cats, dogs, and children who urge them to max it out. While kittens don’t need much encouragement to race around, willing victims who chase and are chased will create more chances for them.

But this also wears out the kitten for us.

Our preferred decorating. I had an advantage going in. I like knickknacks put away for easy dusting, prefer heavy pieces of furniture which don’t tip over easily, and value easy over fussy.

We can have delicate items and elaborate displays in our house. But we shouldn’t expect to combine them with a couple of delightful, and rowdy, Alpha kittens. We can have a room where the cats are not allowed, or we can choose more mellow, easily amused, types of cats.

Our expectations of training. Of course we can train our kittens; this is what raising them is all about. But while we may think they grow up all too soon; it’s not soon enough if we are not relaxed about the process.

They can learn things very quickly, but forget it in the heat of the moment. They can be kittens for up to three years, and have kitten “bursts” for years after that. They can be 90% there, but continue to be stubborn about something which exasperates us.

We didn’t get to give up the super-cheap shower curtains, mended with tape, until RJ was over two years old. He was sweet and cooperative and learned to please us rather quickly, but he had a vendetta against shower curtains.

This is how kitten proofing works. It’s individual, of varying lengths, and has widely divergent targets. That’s because it mostly depends on the kitten, and how they interact in our home. Each home has its own individual character.

So I can say, “Fasten down electrical cords so they don’t get tangled, loop venetian blind cords over a topmost slat so they aren’t tempting, and put away the tippy things,” and this will certainly cover these usual suspects.

But some kittens will be like Tarzan and some kittens will be like Pooh Bear, and some kittens will be like Buddha.

And each one is different.

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As shown in this classic cartoon, it’s funny when we observe cat quirks with understanding. But for many people, cats are neurotic bundles of bizarre, untrustworthy, behavior.

Then, it’s not funny.

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Cat appreciators laugh at this because we have a clue about why cats act this way. The Cat-Unenlightened do not. Ironically, cats and the people who dislike them actually have a lot in common:

Expecting the worst. People who dislike cats view all of their actions through the lens of trust. Cats do, too.

Thinking that a purring cat will put up with anything, presuming any cat will understand their friendship gestures no matter how ambiguous, and becoming angry when the cat does not respond the way they want; cat dislikers always have plenty of reasons to approach a cat with trepidation.

Then they get the suspicious, even hostile, response they expected to get. See, they say. I knew there was no point in trying to be friendly.

Cat caution is a response to their wild, hostile, environment.

Misinterpreting the signals. People who have difficulties with cats get tripped by one overwhelming expectation; that cats should act like dogs. When cats don’t, it’s somehow the cat’s fault.

The cat shows their belly, the person rubs it like they’re waxing a Porsche. The cat is relaxing on their end of the couch, the person comes in and act like they own the place. The cat decides to leave the room, the person chases them.

At each point, a person operating under a “dog delusion” blames the cat for not conforming to their unreasonable expectations. Not only are dogs eager for attention, they will shrug off rejection and come back for more; the burden on the human is nearly nonexistent. Not engaging with a cat in the way a cat prefers is simply laziness on the part of the human.

If such people would make the mental shift from “frat party” to “tea party” when interacting with cats, everyone would be much happier.

Cat are solitary hunters with social skills, not social hunters with an inability to be alone.

Trouble adjusting their focus. A lot of a cat’s “obsessional” behavior springs from a quite amazing ability to concentrate and consider. These are good things.

But a human subject of such study can become nervous. Being observed, seemingly without emotion, by a being with vague motivations creates a lot of suppressed anxiety. Which is something a cat focuses on with increased intensity. Then we have a feedback loop people are not aware they are experiencing; except to complain that they “don’t like cats.”

Because cats have the ability to observe small differences, act with confidence and quickness, and contemplate with intensity, people might not be aware that they could be intimidated by these small, furry, contradictory creatures.

But they might be.

Cat concentration is how cats manage to ambush and outwit their prey.

These are all marvelous qualities we celebrate in people.

We should celebrate them in our cats.

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To make our cementing Third Cat block more sturdy, we should make this cat a carefully chosen move:

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The right sex. When choosing First Cat, it doesn’t matter. Maybe we didn’t have a choice with Second Cat, or we feel we must have chosen badly for the situation to have turned out the way it did.

While their sex doesn’t matter for their suitability as pets, it does have an influence on inter-cat relations. I’ve found that cats are more likely to be buddies if they are the same sex.

There are certainly all kinds of exceptions; opposite sex cats can be friends. But if we are working to remove barriers to compatibility, a same sex match can give us a bit of an edge.

The right type. With widely varying types, we can use Third Cat to split the difference.

But a such a move is not always the best choice. We can love the sweet Persian mixes, but wind up with two cats who cannot make social connections. This may result in the two cats ignoring each other, which isn’t too much of a problem.

But if one cat is lonely, they will keep asking the other cat for friendship. The lonely cat will be upset that they keep getting rejected. The solitary cat will be upset that they keep getting asked.

In this case, getting another Gamma would help the situation because their style is not so different from the other cats. But deliberately getting a mellow, highly socialized Gamma will create an optimum situation for the lonely cat, while modeling better skills for the solitary cat that they can take advantage of… or not. It will be up to them, finally, because the lonely cat will find buddy opportunities with Third Cat.

And we get three cats of our favorite type.

Or we might have an Alpha who is just too much for an older or quieter Beta, straining their coping abilities. The Alpha is the one who needs more play and more interaction; getting another Alpha would be the right choice.

The right age/activity level. Age/activity is like a fine-tuning knob on our cat choice. A baby Beta has the energy to keep up with an older Alpha, while an older Beta can be just right for a baby Gamma.

Kittens have a built-in advantage when it comes to being Third Cat. They are less sensitive to rejection, are still building their social skills and can be more forgiving of social blunders, and are less likely to trigger territorial imperatives.

Just look at them! Older cats usually have an instinctual understanding that such bumbling foolishness is not trying to take over their territory.

But kitten ease comes with a built-in disadvantage, too. They are high-energy; they must have a target who will accept the sudden pouncing and ritual disemboweling that kittens will perform on them, whether they like it or not.

Bringing a kitten into a home with two older cats might mean two cats getting harassed, and neither of them liking it. The way around that, of course, is to get two kittens. They will play with each other, and can band the two older cats together in mutual disdain of these little beanheads.

This also means doubling our chances of the kittens being the right kind of cat to win over one or more of the older cats.

If such a move gives us pause, we should consider an under-three. We are upping the territory imperative somewhat, but we are also lowering the pedal-to-the-metal exuberance that can so distress quieter cats. Under-threes combine kitten friendliness with more mature sensibilities; they are more able to take their time making friends.

Older cats are less flexible; both physically and mentally. If we have two older cats who don’t get along, and their combined age is greater than ten, we might consider a different step: re-introduction of these two cats.

If we make this move successfully, we can more easily consider a Third Cat.

Yes, it’s true. I’m saying:

The solution to your cat problem is more cats!

Because so many cat problems arise from cat incompatibility; which is usually from cats reaching out, and being rebuffed. If we take care of the social reach of the lonely cat, we also take care of the harassment problems of the solitary cat.

Giving everyone what they need. That’s how any happy family gets built.

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When we have three, or more, cats, we have levels of interaction which will increase everyone’s satisfaction and happiness.

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I already have two cats who don’t get along! Why would I want to make more problems for myself?

Because cats do not obey the laws of physics, we may add a cat, but we will subtract from our cat problems.

Third Cat, especially if carefully chosen, creates another option for cat friendship for both of the existing cats. Even in the worst case scenario, that of a lively Alpha with an anti-social Gamma, adding a third, Beta, cat will impose a different, and more flexible, dynamic.

Now, instead of one cat constantly being harassed (as they see it) by the other cat, we have Third Cat, who, being Beta, will try to make friends with everyone. They will, at the least, be an object of interest to the Alpha, taking the pressure off the Gamma. At the most, the Beta will pivot between fun activities with the Alpha, and quiet companionship with the Gamma.

All our cat relations improve.

It’s fairly easy for an aspiring Cat Appreciator to acquire two cats who don’t get along. We get a stray, we get another stray; they both have issues with abandonment and trust. We probably messed up the introductions, and then didn’t police the situation properly.

But the odds of having three cats who hate each other are fairly astronomical. Someone is going to send out a friendship feeler, loneliness doesn’t look so good any more, bridges get built.

After all, two cats who ignore each other are not a problem. Two cats who divide up the house and stay away from each other are not a problem. Cats who have differing ideas about social interaction… there’s your problem.

More cats is the solution.

Cats do not have pack behavior. But they do have social behavior.

Learn more about the different cat types.

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But people who ask me this are not discussing cat cognitive states, or neurophysiology, or non-human philosophy. What they are really asking is:

Why do cats seem to get in trouble on purpose?

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This question usually comes up in the context of their cat doing something, and the person has tried over and over and over, in many various ways, to make them stop doing that. Only the cat has not stopped doing that. These people want to know why the cat will keep doing that when they know they will get punished, or yelled at, or otherwise reap some unwanted side effect from doing that.

They aren’t thinking about the bad consequences at the time. When a cat is chasing after a bug which has gotten into the house, the bug inevitably goes to a light bulb and circles it. It is not inevitable for the cat to go for the bug through the lampshade; but that is often how it seems.

My cats have learned not to do that because when they are kittens, and not certain what will happen when they stick their heads in the lampshades, I’m right there to tell them this is a Bad Thing. So when the impulse to go after the bug appears, they have a readily available counter-impulse that helps them remember.

But if we think the kitten is cute when they are too small to knock over the lamp, by the time they are big enough to knock over the lamp, it’s not just an impulse; it’s a reflex. They aren’t pausing now.

They don’t understand what we are saying. We think walking in and seeing them playing with our feather portrait of Aunt Helen and yelling and chasing them away should keep them away from that thing. Why doesn’t it?

Well, why should it?

There’s times when they are playing with our feather portrait of Aunt Helen and it’s great! What we might get out of such a strategy is them running away when they hear us coming. But that’s not a very good outcome, either.

They can’t help it. If their litter box isn’t clean or is in a treacherous place, all the yelling in the world can’t over-ride their instincts which tell them, To stay alive, put your byproducts in a new place, or You can’t relax here, someone might get you.

We might have poor communication with our cat, but they shouldn’t be in fear of their life. And their instincts use a fear for their life to motivate them to do what they do. It’s simply no contest.

So what looks like cat defiance or indifference is usually poor training on the part of the human, and puzzlement on the part of the cat. Because when we have both good communication, and a good relationship, the only times our cats do something is when it is on purpose.

There are times when our cats deliberately push the envelope of what is acceptable. We have a foldable bed table for Mr WereBear when he’s really tired and needs to eat in bed. When placed on a nearby shelf, it’s a tempting lookout point that we’ve taught the cats to stay away from.

But the other night, we had left a pizza box on it when we put it on that shelf; and we came back to find Olwyn sprawled on the box. And what could we do? She doesn’t get on the bed table; and, in fact, she wasn’t on the bed table. She was on the pizza box.

And she knew it.

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The dreadful irony is that these dogs were not enjoying being spoiled. They were actually fearful and apprehensive all the time; because their people were not the calm “Leaders of the Pack” dogs need. So their frantic and aggressive behavior was from their attempts to control and make sense of their world. Since it wasn’t their world, this attempt was doomed to failure.

The forthright British lady got the whole family back on track, and it was nice to see these former ruffians wagging their tails and acting far more calmly. (Though I confess to helpless laughter early in the episode, when one rowdy dog flung the person who was walking him into the electric fence which kept them contained.) The point being that this family leaned, very hard, towards spoiling their pets.

And so, they should not have gotten dogs. They should have gotten a bunch of cats, instead.

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Dogs have a built-in Catch 22 which can surprise, and trap, dog fans. Dogs are so easy to make visibly happy, so quick to fawn over us, so eager to capture our attention and adoration, that many dog people can’t help but respond in kind. There’s the problem.

Some dogs are big puddings of play and cuddles. These kinds of dogs are truly happy on the bottom rung of dominance. When we boss them around, they are eager to comply; when we don’t, they are just as happy. They only want to be everyone’s friend.

But many, many dogs are not like this. In fact, I’d say most dogs are not like this. Big or don’t-know-they’re-small, mixed or purebred, a lot of dogs have strong Will to Power in their blood. It doesn’t mean they have to be the Leader of the Pack; it does mean they are susceptible to being told that they are. Which is what most dog lovers do.

All dogs act loving with subservience, because they need a leader. But if we turn around and love them in the same way, this sends them the wrong signal. We think we are saying I love you. They think we’re saying You are Pack Leader.

Then they try to be one. They boss the rest of the family, they are not amenable to discipline, they are aggressive and stubborn. We get angry, we get assertive, we become Pack Leader… and they obey. Then we melt, and switch our signals.

And the sad cycle starts all over again. Some dogs shrug and live in the moment. But some dogs become confused and insecure. The more confused and insecure the dog was in the first place, the more uncertain and nervous this kind of dog becomes over time.

Sadly, many rescue dogs long for a Strong Leader who will reassure them that bad things won’t happen again, yet get adopted by the kind of marshmallow-hearted folks who, in attempts to reassure, give exactly the opposite signal. Thus, many people won’t adopt “someone else’s problem” from a shelter; and they tell me this while their purebred is barking their head off and lunging at the end of the leash.

This is merely one aspect of dogs people get wrong without even trying. They get one dog when two would keep their sofas safer, they choose a high intensity purebred when a mellow mix would suit their lifestyle better, and last but far from least, there’s housebreaking; the Internet and bookstores are full of ways to help dog fans get this most basic need covered.

People tell me over and over, with a straight face, that they want a dog because dogs are “easier.” What they mean is, it’s easier for them to love a dog, than a cat. They’re not thinking of anything else.

And they should. Because true animal lovers need to know something very Pet Important:

Cats cannot be spoiled by being spoiled.

I know someone who adores her lab mix, and has many family members with dogs. She was astonished when I explained my training procedure for new kittens: Here’s the litter, here’s the food, here you go.

Of course, having other cats would mean introducing them properly, our home might need some kitten-proofing, and we do need to train our kitten as they grow. But when we consider the perfect storm of a new puppy; the pooing and the weeing and the chewing and the barking and the gnawing of hands and the yanking of leashes and the jumping up and the dragging off…

Kittens look pretty darn easy.

For more on this subject, see all my posts on Cat vs Dog.

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