We Love Telly - TV & Entertainment - Mirror.co.uk

The X Factor: They Gotta Have Faith

2009-11-21T21:37:17Z

George Michael night - and he was even watching at home. Gouging his brain out with a teaspoon I imagine. And wondering why he ever took that call from Simon Cowell.

First up was Lloyd - "If Lloyd is a cat, he's used up eight of his lives," said Cowell. And I think it's safe to say the ninth too after that sorry performance. Come on, kick him out and let Louis put him in a boy band.

Stacey - Dannii tried desperately to nickname Stacey 'The Voice' but it really didn't catch on. She's pretty good but after watching Leona Lewis on the Children In Need concert on Thursday, there's just no comparison.

Jedward - At least they're improving. Aren't they? Or have I been brainwashed like everyone else in the country? They had the usual big production to distract from their voices. But points as always for their gravity-defying hair. Impressive.

Danyl - No he's never ever gonna dance again - at least not on The X Factor stage. Well I hope not anyway. The worst version of Careless Whisper that I've ever heard - except for when a friend did it on karaoke in my local pub.

Olly - What a disappointment. I was hoping to see him shake his hips to Club Tropicana in tight white trousers. But he seemed to have been transformed into an identikit pop star wearing The X Factor uniform of black shirt and trousers. Shame.

Joe - Ok, so it was the best performance of the night. But he didn't exactly have much competition for the honour. Everything he sings sounds exactly the same - he could have been singing Circle Of Life from a couple of weeks ago. Very good, but should be in a musical.

Bottom two prediction: Lloyd and who cares. Get him out.

But there's always a silver lining - at least they've all had a nice haircut.

EastEnders: Denise and Lucas the bride and doom as Owen tries to expose groom as a killer

2009-11-21T00:00:57Z

With her romantic history, Denise doesn't need to see groom Lucas on their wedding day to know that this marriage is jinxed as well.

The Bible-bashing, psycho preacher man may loudly proclaim, "Nuffin's gunna go wrong - I won't let it," on Tuesday. But by then it's already too late.

Exactly how doomed can Denise be? For after Owen, Lucas is her second partner with
murderous intentions.

And with just enough time to nip down to Moss Bros and hire a morning suit, Owen is released from prison, determined to stop the ceremony.

He believes Lucas is a "maniac" and, bursting in on Denise's hen night, he issues a dire warning.

"Don't marry him," Owen pleads desperately. "You are in danger."

Well, this is Soapland and it'd be a poor show if their wedding wasn't a showcase for the usual round of chaos and calamities as Lucas and Denise try to tie the knot.

There's a strong-arm debt collector attempting to snatch Phil Mitchell's Jag, which is being used as the wedding car.

Denise's wanton sister Kim turns up with her leering fella Dexter and they get outrageously drunk.

And Patrick's trousers don't fit and he wants them changed pronto.

Nipping down to the shops with them isn't Lucas's best idea when Owen pops up in the back seat of the Jag and accuses him of murdering his ex.

"Was Trina in league with the devil?" Owen sneers. "Were you doing the Lord's work when you killed her? You don't turn up to the wedding, and I won't call the police until tonight."

Hold on to your hats, folks. This is going to be a very bumpy ride...

EastEnders: Til debt do us part

2009-11-21T00:00:57Z

Don'tcha just love famous last words? "Honestly, there's nuffink to worry abaht," Phil tells brother Grant over the phone. "An' let me handle mum."

After forfeiting their quarter of a mill bail money because Sam has done a runner, the Mitchells are so deep in debt it's a wonder Gordon Brown hasn't nationalised them.

Refusing to borrow from Archie, Phil even declines a loan from Ian Beale. "You'll see me in a pair of tights and a tutu first," he grunts.

With a loan shark circling, Phil decides to sell the Arches to Fat Pat.

"Have Pat Evans lording it over me?" Peg blasts, grabbing the For Sale sign. "I'd rather sleep on the streets."

Anyone got a cardboard box, then?

Coronation Street: Reap what you sew...

2009-11-21T00:00:57Z

Charged with the murder of Liam Connor and the attempted murder of Roy, Tony Gordon's experience in ladies' underwear is going to come in handy in more ways than one when he's remanded in custody for trial on Friday.

Going from running up gussets to Her Majesty's mailbags proves that old adage you reap what you 'sew'.

Meanwhile, after a phone call from the police, his estranged wife Cruella Carla returns nervously to Weatherfield.

For not only had she heard Tony's confession, but she's still under the misapprehension that she killed hit man Jimmy.

And her welcome from former mother-in-law Helen is turbulent. "If you'd not been having your sordid little affair with my son," the old Irish banshee cries, "he'd still be alive."

Confident that her part in the crimes is going to remain secret, Carla shocks the factory workers by returning to Underworld and taking charge.

"And," she barks, "if anybody wants to gossip, speculate or whinge, they can do it in their own time - or at the JobCentre. Anybody want to say something?"

Nope. That's enough to scare the pants off 'em.

Emmerdale: Can't buy me love...

2009-11-21T00:00:57Z

Cain should know that as soon as you show a cat the canary, it'll pounce.

So the moment he took scheming Charity into the storage unit where he secretly stashed his cash, she was licking her lips like the felonious feline that she is. On Monday she sneakily returns to relieve him of it.

Unfortunately, it takes a thief to catch a thief. Realising Charity has stolen his swipe card, Cain's close behind her with their daughter Debbie.

Sadly, Charity has just had a change of heart and is about to return the loot when they walk in on her.

"Take a good look at yer mum, Debs," Cain sneers contemptuously. "Scrabbling around after someone else's cash like a cheap tart."

Considering it's the ransom money he took from the Kings, that's a bit rich coming from him.

But robbing from your own is a breach of Dingle law and Charity is cast out of the family yet again.

As they say, money certainly can't buy you love.

What a week for...

2009-11-21T00:00:43Z

CLAIRE AND BECKY: CORRIE
Picked on at the school gates for smoking, Becky finds an unlikely ally in goody-two-shoes mum Claire. "I think we should put up a sign, 'No Bullying By Parents'," Claire jokes. There'll be fights behind the bike sheds next.

BEALE AND SQUEAL: EASTENDERS
No wonder Jane left that odious little runt, Beale The Squeal. He may flash the cash with a soapy new toy, but is he happy? "What's the point of having a hot tub," Masood asks, "if you're in it all by yourself?" Is that any real surprise?

MOLLY, KEVIN AND SALLY: CORRIE
Almost being caught in the matrimonial bed by Sally on Friday pushes Kevin and his bit of fluff into making a monumental decision. "Will you, Molly Dobbs," Kev asks, "leave Tyrone. And start a new life with me?" You bet...

MARK AND FAYE: EMMERDALE
With two 'wives' in the village, Mark is playing his own game of eeny, meeny, and on Friday picks Faye. "I shouldn't have chosen Natasha," he admits. Now he says...

Quotes of the week

2009-11-21T00:00:43Z

"Might as well be wearing Auntie Peg's bloomers for all the bedroom action I'm getting."
Will Roxy's luck change with Dr Al in Enders?

"She's got a great CV. She can cross her legs in slow motion and pout over the phone."
Corrie's Sophie on sister Dozy Rosie.

Simon Cowell receives Daily Mirror Best British TV judge award at The Variety Club Awards - video exclusive

2009-11-20T19:32:57Z

What a night to remember.

The readers of the Daily Mirror's We Love Telly magazine had voted - and Simon Cowell was celebrated as the Best British TV Judge in a brand new category at the Variety Club Showbiz Awards - which will be shown on Five this Sunday at 3.35pm.

Simon was obviously thrilled and honoured to receive such a prestigious gong when presented to him on X Factor by presenter Dermot O'Leary - as our sneak preview shows.

Among such stars as The Saturdays, Spandau Ballet, Joe Calzaghe, Dame Kelly Holmes, Alesha Dixon and Rupert Grint, the We Love Telly team were joined on their table by our very own celebrity blogger Angela Griffin - star of Angela And Friends as well as Waterloo Road - and the wonderful Nina Wadia who famously plays Zainab Masood in EastEnders.

Our five prize winners and their guests also enjoyed the night. So congratulations to Nicola Hamilton from Wrexham, North Wales, Vicki South from Fetcham, Surrey, Brian Harbord from Great Yarmouth, Cheryl Nicol from Thornton Heath, Surrey and Suzanne Murphy from Bedworth, Warwickshire.

And to prove what a brilliant time they had mingling with the stars, Nicola and her sister Jody sent us this set of pictures.

Have you been pictured with the stars? Send in your pictures on jpegs to welovetelly@mirror.co.uk

Just Look At What's Occurrin' On Telly!

2009-11-20T17:13:28Z

Smithy, Nessa and baby Neil from Gavin & Stacey are our cover stars this week - but they're not exactly playing happy families.

As the final ever series hits our screens, there are problems for everyone when Gavin and Stacey move to Wales.
"Smithy's having to adjust to Gav not being there," says James Corden (Smithy).

"And Barry finally sees the sun," reveals Ruth Jones (Nessa). "There's a whole episode on the beach."

Meanwhile, check out all the woolly jumpers in Shaun The Sheep. Shaun and his friends are going baa-king mad in the new series.

Jane Horrocks gives a star performance in Gracie! about the legendary Gracie Fields. "It's been a passion of mine to play her," Jane tells us.

Tamzin Outhwaite starts seeing dead people in her new spooky crime drama Paradox. "I loved doing all the stunts," says Tamzin.

And David Tennant appears as you've never seen him before, in the animated series Dreamland.

Plus don't miss coverage of The Variety Club Awards, which features a host of A-listers including Alesha Dixon, Kevin Spacey, Patrick Stewart, Spandau Ballet, The Saturdays and Simon Cowell, who picked up his Daily Mirror award for Best British TV Judge!

And over in EastEnders, Denise and Lucas's wedding is jinxed. Will they make it down the aisle?

For more news from Soapland, click here. Get all your TV listings in We Love Telly magazine, free with tomorrow's paper.

Angela Griffin: A Bit Of A Headache

2009-11-20T11:27:16Z

It's been a crazy week. I went out three nights in a row at the weekend because it was my husband Jason's birthday. The first night I was drinking champagne to celebrate the end of the week. The second night we were wine tasting and on Sunday I went to the Variety Club Awards on the We Love Telly table!

There were celebrities like Kevin Spacey, Ben Kingsley and Patrick Stewart. I was a little bit starstruck. I saw Ian McKellen but I chickened out of going up to him. But I did get a picture with The Saturdays!

So Monday morning at work, I've got to say, I wasn't feeling that well. I was quite hungover and felt like I'd completely forgotten how to do anything.

But it's my job to burn the candle at both ends - it gives me something to talk about on the show!

Marc Bannerman was on this week and we had a good chat about I'm A Celebrity... Brendan Cole was on too and said he was surprised that Camilla Dallerup even went into the jungle in the first place.
He said she eats small meals throughout the day and to have access to food regularly would be a big deal.

I would never, ever go on that show. I don't want to be cold, I don't want to be rained on and I don't want to sleep on the floor. There's no way I'd go all the way to Australia to be tortured.

I'd love to do Strictly. I have been asked to come in and speak to the BBC about going on it but I've always been working. It's a huge commitment.

My best moment of the week was an exclusive interview with Boyz II Men. Then they offered to take me out to dinner with JLS but I turned it down! I don't know why I said no, I'm regretting it now.

Make-up day was a bit hectic because at the last minute they thought they would try to make me look like Beyonce! The end result was brilliant, there was definitely a little bit of the Beyonces about me.

Beyonce? Hmm...

But there were problems this week, too. On Tuesday I stood up, caught my heel on the rug and nearly went flying. As I fell Linda Robson shouted "s***" out very very loudly, but luckily we had just gone to the VT. It was one of those moments when Ofcom could have come down on us very very badly!

And I woke up one morning with no voice. It's absolutely my own fault after too many late nights. I woke my poor husband up coughing at 3am.
I'm still a bit poorly but I can't be ill otherwise the show would just be called "And Friends!"

I'm A Celebrity flop Camilla Dallerup gives ballroom dancing a bad name

2009-11-18T10:55:33Z

Now ballroom dancers haven't exactly been renowned for their toughness over the years.

But proper blokes like Darren Gough, Mark Ramprakash and Matt Di Angelo have given dancing plenty of credibility - not to mention sex appeal - with their Strictly Come Dancing stints.

On I'm A Celebrity, though, Camilla Dallerup has whisked it all back to sequinned airy-fairyness with her tearful jungle cameo.

Entirely shrewd as she masterminded Tom Chambers' path to last year's Strictly title (so smart, in fact, we've all almost forgotten she was once engaged to Brendan Cole), the 35-year-old doesn't look so clever now after sticking it out for a pathetic three days.

Never mind the phenomenon of reality TV eating itself (X Factor runner-up Ray Quinn winning Dancing On Ice anybody?), Camilla has taken a big step backward in her 'celebrity' life after the BBC show with her failure.

The Danish puff pastry hadn't exactly had it tough: no sky-diving, no wading through a swamp to get into camp - just riding in on a horse with Jimmy White.

Out came the 'can't do' attitude. Apparently she fell off one when she was five. But she put herself through the horrendous ordeal of a trail ride. Ok, so coming off the horse again probably wasn't too much fun, but I'd take that over jumping out of an aeroplane any day.

No bushtucker trials either. They would probably have heard the shrieking in her native Denmark if there had been.

The restricted diet was making her hungry and faint (admittedly, she doesn't exactly have much extra stored away on her hips for a rainy day) and her hands were going numb.

But the sure sign she was in trouble was surely when she went to Jordan for help in the middle of the night. I'd have picked that nice mumsy-looking Kim Woodburn myself.

Note to the rest of reality TV world: choose one show and stick to it.

Strictly Come Dancing: Here come the girls!

2009-11-17T14:06:32Z

Now we're down to a handful of contestants I finally have time to blog again. With previous episodes lasting about 2 and half days, plus the time it takes for Bruce to get through his links, I barely had time to eat and sleep. I love Strictly, but come on - almost 3 hours? Without toilet breaks?

This week saw the departure of Phil Snake-hips Tufnell after he lost out in the dance-off to Ricky No-hips Groves. I was sad to see him go but it was always going to be a tuffie (ha). Both Groves and Tuffers are the big characters in this series, with the added bonus that they can actually dance a bit too. Personally I thought Phil had the edge on Groves but Len didn't agree - and it was the boot for Phil.

It was a fairly predictable result with none of the controversy of previous weeks, even with the public giving Laila a second chance. It would have been jolly unfair if they hadn't, given that she was dancing on one leg, and besides - its amusing to watch Anton's disbelief as he progresses further than ever in the history of the show.

For me, however, the highlight of Saturday's show was Tess and Claudia - and didn't they do well? I say pack Bruce off to the comfort of his sofa for good, and get Daly upfront and Winkles in the back room. For once the bits in between the dancing were a joy to watch.

Claudia. Prettier than Bruce.

Tess Daly on why this week's Strictly was the most dramatic yet plus how to dress for the weather

2009-11-17T00:00:05Z

This week's Strictly was one of the most dramatic ever. Phil Tufnell was finally voted off. And all around us people were dropping like flies!

Brucie was off with flu and two of our celebs were injured. Laila Rouass couldn't complete her rumba due to an injury she got in training and Jade Johnson was injured in the dress rehearsal.

I had big boots to fill standing in for Brucie - but we managed to have a giggle with Claudia Winkleman and Ronnie Corbett helping out.

As a special good luck gift a friend sent a pair of gold Jimmy Choo sandals, which didn't make it to the show in time.

They were held up in security - I reckon they were all trying them on! So I wore some fab gold sequinned heels with black bows from Kurt Geiger to match my Philip Armstrong dress.

I don't know about you, but I find it tough to dress for this weather - one minute it's sub-zero, the next it's pretty mild.

But I'm loving leggings under dresses - a look that Claudia pulls off beautifully. Layering works well, too - I like long tees with a cardigan.

Other new-season must-haves include leg-warmers with jeggings and a snood scarf, which looks hot with a statement shoulder jacket.

Next, swap ballet flats for boots. Dorothy Perkins is definitely having a moment with its winter boots - my girlfriends love their Cuban heeled lace front boots, a snip at £45.

All my mummy mates are raving about Stella's kids range at Gap - the cashmere leggings are genius because the material regulates body temperature.

This Friday I'll be teaming up with Sir Terry Wogan for Children In Need. There's a fabulous line-up and I'm keeping everything crossed we can match last year's total of £20million on the night.

It'll be great to have Alesha helping out, too. She was an angel on Saturday, giving me hugs of support before we went live.

Prepare for us both to have bags - no suitcases - under our eyes on Strictly this Saturday.

My Daily Glow face highlighter is going to be working overtime!

See you Friday and, remember, if you can, keep giving!

X Factor's Louis Walsh: It's more than my jobsworth...

2009-11-16T16:59:08Z

What the hell has happened to Louis Walsh?

Gone is the jolly, inoffensive little Irish chap - only to be replaced by a hectoring ogre of a man who, in recent weeks, has flicked a V at the audience, humiliated presenter Dermot O'Leary and slated both Simon Scowl and Prime Minister Gordon Brown. But, amazingly, Louis continues to praise his last remaining act, Jedward.

His astonishing personality transplant is obviously based on the ridiculous and bizarre Louis Walsh Book Of Imaginary Rules, in which he comes over as mixture of council official and traffic warden. In other words, a jobsworth who everyone despises.

Here are Louis' most ridiculous regulations from the series so far...

- No Choirs
On Saturday's show Louis got his rule book out and accused Joe of cheating during his performance of Somebody To Love. "Maybe breaking the rules with the choir," he wrongly claimed. The judges weren't impressed with Louis when his act Jedward then went on to twist the rules by rapping Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby in Queen week. Dannii pointed out hypocrite Louis' flawed rulebook "So there's Louis's rules and everyone else's rules." Spot on.

- Presenters should not have opinions
Louis laid into Dermot in live show five for, god forbid, giving his opinion on Joe's Circle Of Life performance. Dermot clearly over-stepped Louis' boundaries of what the show's host can and can't say when he described Joe as a "well-rounded popstar". Louis retaliated with "Dermot you are a presenter, I am a judge." As if we'd forgotten!

- Audience must not "boo" Jedward
The rulebook master even dared to stick two fingers up to the X Factor audience on show five after throwing a paddy, sorry for the pun, when they booed Jedward. - That's NOT allowed by loopy Louis. In fact...

- No hate for Jedward allowed whatsoever
Even our Prime Minister Gordon Brown isn't safe from Louis' sharp-tongued attacks. The PM dared pass comment on Jedward saying, "I don't think they are very good". A furious Louis later responded to the comment by blasting the PM's taste in music. "Simon and Gordon Brown have one thing in common - both know nothing about music", he said.

- Songs must stick to the week's theme
Louis was quick to snipe at serial rule-bender Simon for choosing U2's Angel Of Harlem for Jamie Afro to sing in Big Band week. An outraged Louis whined, "It's not big band. I wouldn't get away with this," followed by, "I feel it's cheating because everybody else sang a big band song". Good on Simon for responding by telling Louis he was acting like "a man from the council with a little book of rules". Oh, and if it comes to Big Bands, there ain't none bigger than U2.

- Simon must play fair at all times
In movie week Louis accused Simon of rule dodging with his song choice for contestant Jamie Afro, who sang Crying which appeared in 1997 film Gummo.

Following the performance, Louis said: "I don't know the movie it's from and Simon you're cheating again, we all picked songs from big movies, you're cheating". Tut tut! We see. Louis' cultural ignorance and the fact he doesn't get out enough leads to an accusation of cheating? Even though Roy Orbison's song Crying has won a Grammy in film Hiding Out and was also featured in Mulholland Drive, as Jamie pointed out.

Is Louis' constant talk of rule-breaking because he is jealous of the other judges' acts? Does Louis have a point with his whingeing and moaning, and should the rule-bending be reined in to stop the show becoming a farce? Who will feel the wrath of Walsh's sharp-tongue on The X Factor this week?

Tell us what you think below.

I'm A Celebrity: Not The Load Of Crap That Most Were Expecting

2009-11-16T09:35:57Z

What happened in the course of the first night in base camp, in the safest bit of jungle in the world, to cause such destruction of the dunny?

It can't have been George Hamilton. The aged Hollywood actor is so glad to wake up each morning, he'd surely own up with glee to having the werewithal to manage such plentiful movements.

He may not arise with such a spring in his step and a song in his heart in the next few days if Kim decides she wants to strike up a TV fauxmance and identify her fellow wrinkly as the target for her affections. He better pray she doesn't flash her back boobs at him.

But in the meanwhile, scatological Kim is more than keen to clean up the dunny. Maybe it is her bowels that are responsible? It'd be the weirdest self-promotion on a reality show ever, but for someone who admits to being famous for "shovelling sh*t", she needs to plug her skills somehow.

Rule out well-travelled Sabrina, who only ever eats at Maccy D's when she visits foreign countries - that many quarter pounders must've left her with an iron colon.

Surely super trooper Sam Fox isn't the toilet terrorist? She showed real guts of steel in her surprisingly "COME ON" approach to the initial beds and meal challenge, bagging nine out of eleven stars.

Must've been Stuart Manning. With all the charisma of an estate agent, he's already shown himself to be full of crap.

Or maybe it is just the prospect of Jordan, in search of £450k of "closure" joining the jungle fray has got all of the other celebs feeling a bit gippy.

She'll should get on great with Kim - they've both built their careers around polishing a turd.