Life of a babywearing and breastfeeding mommy

Self-hypnosis birthing, night-time potty training

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 05:33:00 +0000

I bought a Hypnobabies Home Study Course for Expectant Mothers a few weeks ago via Amazon. I haven't actually gotten around to sending the enrollment form included but I've already started reading the book and listening to the cds. So far, I've enjoyed listening to the cds and learning how to relax and focus my mind on sound of Kerry's voice on my discman. Of course, there are times (if not most, honestly) that I'd be drifting off or falling asleep (especially when I listen at night, after Jack-Jack falls asleep), but as she reminds at every start of the track, as long as I continue listening to it, my sub-conscious would pick up all that it needs.

I found that listening to the cds and learning to relax and at my current class, learning self-hypnosis, made me less sleepy during office hours, even if I didn't get a full sleep the night before. I think the 30+ minutes of listening to the tracks, and just relaxing and letting your mind do all the work and learning is worth extra hours of lost sleep (especially now that I'm on my last trimester and achieving a fairly comfortable sleeping position is almost a challenge every time, plus my bladder always seem to be full).

I'm faithfully going thru the course, listening to the cd tracks as suggested, reading thru the literary at the beginning of each course week. I'm just having trouble going thru this week's daily exercise, the Finger-Drop technique. But I compensate by doing at least 3 of those one after the other, before I listen to a new cd. The physical exercises... I have yet to start. I'm hoping that all these would help me have a natural (no anesthesia), vaginal birth. I just fear a bit since my baby would be bigger than my eldest son. Well, pelvic excercises, here I come.

On another note, my son still doesn't seem to be disturbed sleeping in wet briefs and pajamas. I would wake up in the middle of the night, touch his bum, and discover he's wet. I think the cool weather is what makes him pee during the night plus the liquids he takes in before going to sleep. I do make sure that he pees before we finally settle down but sometimes, that doesn't help. Oh, well. We finally bought a mattress protector so that at least, our bed wouldn't continue absorbing all his urine. Hee.

2011 in Retrospect

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:48:00 +0000

The year has come and gone and it's been more than a fortnight since the new year arrived. I have been busy lately, or rather, I haven't given any time to blog and post what's happening with me especially since I'm already in my last trimester and on my way to becoming a new mom the second time around.

2011 has been an interesting year. J and I have gone to several trip with Jack-Jack, once within the country, and once outside the country. We've been to Dumaguete (which I promised we will come back sometime in the future as we now know where the best possible place to stay is) and then we went to Singapore.

It was also the year that I told and nagged J that I have to get pregnant so that the age gap between Jack-Jack and his sibling would be almost three - not too close, yet not to far either. Just about right. I was actually hoping that I would already be pregnant when we went to Singapore just so my expected due date would fall on March this year (as I promised my sister I will try my hardest to give her somebody who has the same birth month as hers. I did get pregnant... But it was after our Singapore trip and I learned it while J was away on a company trip. I took the test a few days before I was due to have my next period, excited because instinct told me I'd be carrying then... And I was right.

2011 was also the year we started seriously potty-training Jack-Jack. I even went so far as to buy a book on how to enforce it gently. Of course, we modified it and I'm glad to say that while he isn't 100% potty-trained, he does go to the toilet when he needs to go (although sometimes with a bit of pushing) and our bed remains dry most days in a month (I can probably count 2-3 times we woke up with a wet patch in the last few months).

And as 2011 was the year Jack-Jack turned two... Well. Terrible Two's it is. We've had shouting matches, crying episodes... I even had to step back and take a breather, get away from it all as I felt too strung, too tough, too hard, too everything and I'm worried I'm making some dent in my son's personality and overall mental behavior than progress. Hay. But I think we're making progress right now. I've purchased several books to help me and J... It's just a matter of finishing them and applying them. Tho we're applying some already as we go along.

It was also the time J and I argued so much, raised voices, and subsequently called for talk time. Must be my hormones. Haha. Yes, I'm blaming them... Then this time around, I'm going to blame post-partum effects. I love J sincerely, though. And I'm always thankful he's by my side and my partner for life.

2011 was also the time I splurged... Again. Le sigh. When will I ever learn? Probably soon. Praying soon. Hoping soon. As two kids will be hard to raise when everything seems to be rising with them.

In the end, I'm grateful for everything that happened last 2011. It's been fun. I've met new people, gained friends, and reconnected with a previous passion, my love of reading.

Here's to a grand 2012. Looking forward to birthing my second baby and bonding with my two kids during my leave. :)

So I finally merged all my blogger blogs

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:19:00 +0000

Into one. Which started when I was still in college and then when I was preparing for our wedding. It's quite nostalgic, when I read some of the posts I did, especially during my college days, how young and shallow my worries were. Hee. I guess we all have to grow up sometime. :)

The start of a journey

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 07:34:00 +0000

I bought a sewing machine last year in the hopes that I'd find the time and resources to learn how to use it and start a hobby that would, hopefully in time, turn into a business so that I can spend more time at home with my son. Sadly, I still haven't really used it, though I already threaded it a few months back. I almost have all the resources. What are missing are the fabric and some other notions.

I found the fabric in Glorietta 5 and Divisoria. Notions were from National Bookstore and Landmark. I even got to photocopy the pattern. So what's stopping me? Time. It seems I have to make time for it, when I can find and make time to read, and still do my mommy duties.

In about four months, I'll be giving birth and I need to start on this project, this journey. You see, I want to sew cloth diapers for this next baby. The instructions seem easy enough and I'm not about to venture into the unknown world of fold-over elastics (FOE) so I'll be sticking with regular polybraid elastics and such.

So I need to make time. I'll probably do it one step at a time. Cut out the pattern copies then trace them to the fabrics. Then cut the fabrics... Then sew.

Hopefully, by making this project, this dream public, I'll be able to start off soon. Besides which, I'll be giving birth soon enough anyway.

And speaking of cloth diapers, I've been researching on how meconium is with cloth diapers. Is it easy to wash? Hard? Does it stain? Thankfully, all my research tells me that it's quite easy to wash off! Yay! If I manage to sew at all, my next goal is to CD by Day 1.

Wish me luck!

I just wonder

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 07:08:00 +0000

I've been breastfeeding for 27 months already, 6 of those months pregnant. And with all the hullaballoo's surrounding breastfeeding in public (posts from Chronicles of a Nursing Mom and from the Painter's Wife here and here), I suddenly wonder about it. Why some breastfeeding mothers have no qualms about nursing in public (with or without cover), some prefer to nurse in the comfort of a nursing station, and some would bring expressed milk in bottles when they're out and about with their babies.

I for one, am comfortable nursing in public. It was a struggle at first, I admit, as I was a new mom, with continuously leaking breasts during the first few months, and a demanding son who usually cannot wait until we get to a nursing station. So my nursing poncho from Indigo Baby was always in my bag to cover up when Jack-Jack wanted to nurse. Other covers I used were my ring sling from Next 9, and pouch and SaYa from Indigo Baby. Until I felt comfortable enough to nurse without a cover especially since I already collected enough nursing tops that I can discreetly nurse in public. Of course, my husband was more conscious for me. He'd tell me that it was so obvious I'm breastfeeding and that I should at least cover up and I'd always retort that he noticed since he knew that I really was breastfeeding.

I haven't really been harassed nor was asked to nurse someplace else, except that one time in Circles when a waitress offered a shawl for my use as a cover to which I politely declined. Who would stare at me, anyway, when it was lunch time and we were sitted at a corner? Besides, I chose not to use a cover and thankfully, there was no objection at my refusal.

I love breastfeeding, with all those advantages and convenience it brought to our lives. We didn't have to invest with a lot of bottles nor bottle nipples with different flows (my son never complained that he was stuck with the slow flow nipples until he weaned from the bottle). I only woke my husband up in the middle of the night when I needed help in changing diapers as I didn't have to get up when my son needed to nurse back to sleep. We didn't have to bring bottles with sterile water and powdered milk containers when we go out, nor did we have to worry if we bought enough milk for his consumption or if the temperature was just right.

That's why I wonder... why there were/are mothers who breastfeed their babies and yet they would bring expressed milk when they go out for the baby's consumption. Do they also bring their pumps with them? To replenish their stocks and to empty their breasts since the baby would be getting milk from the bottle and not direct? I'm just curious because like I said, one of the reasons I loved and embraced breastfeeding was because of the convenience. Anybody can enlighten me on this? Is this an unconscious choice due to shying away from breastfeeding in public (which was one of the reasons I thought of when I thought of one reason why I'd bring expressed milk with me)? I'm just thinking out loud as I know someone from my family who brings bottles with expressed milk and gives the bottle to her baby when my niece was hungry. I never really got to ask her why she does that.

So anybody, somebody... Do you know or have any idea why?

The search is on

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 23:51:00 +0000

For a new OB. Yes, yes, I know. I'm on my 20th week already. But what can I do? I need someone who is not just accredited with St. Luke's Global City, but also someone who does maternity packages in that hospital. I seriously thought I didn't have to search for a new OB since my current doctor is affiliated there. However, we just found out that she doesn't do packages in St. Luke's. And Makati Med's new packages are just woah. They're more expensive than St. Luke's packages. We can't afford to pay out the same amount like we did when I first gave birth. We have more things to consider this time around and just paying out that much isn't practical.

I've already had a few in mind to check out on but I'm still waiting for feedback and referrals from my trustee online support group. There are already a few referrals but I'm hoping I'd get more by the end of the day so that I can already set an appointment for Saturday.

And because of that... Any referrals?

My mom was surprised

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 02:19:00 +0000

That I can still breastfeed Jack-Jack despited being pregnant. She found out when we were going home from his second-cousin's birthday party and he asked for milk. I knew he was already tired and wanted some snuggling, which meant that as soon as he latches, his eyes would roll upwards, as if on a high, then slowly closing until he was fast asleep. And they did. It wasn't even five minutes and he was already dozing off.

Mama was surprised that Jack-Jack was still nursing from me, despite already drinking Nido, and despite me being pregnant. But she didn't say anything negative about it. In fact, she was amazed at how our body works, to be able to provide to my babies both in and out of my tummy. Well, so was I.

Still breastfeeding after 2 years

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 23:03:00 +0000

Welcome to the Milk Mama Diaries Carnival (November). For this month, we focus on extended breastfeeding. Participants will share their experiences and tips on breastfeeding their child/ren beyond 12 months. Please scroll down to the end of the post and check out the other carnival participants."

When I first got pregnant, one of the things that I immediately decided upon was that I'd breastfeed my child. And if he ever self-weaned before he was two, I told myself that I'd pump and give my expressed milk to him until his 2nd birthday just so that he'd be getting all those wonderful benefits of breastmilk. Especially since my husband's side of the family has all those illnesses I don't want my son to have when he'd grow older.

Well, now, Jack-Jack's already 25 months old, and with no sign of weaning anytime soon. I admittedly stopped expressing milk for him around a month before his 2nd birthday, because it was admittedly tiresome to lug around a cold bag with milk in it everyday, and also because there wasn't a dedicated lactation room in our office at that time that I pump inside a toilet cubicle. Yes, it's admittedly not the best place but even the clinic is crowded. I recently heard that there's now a lactation room but I have yet to inquire if it's true. I supplemented my diminishing supply of expressed milk with fresh milk and powdered milk (which I forgot to up the amount when my stash was completely consumed until his pedia check-up, thus the dilemna on his weight gain which I posted here and moaned about it here). But despite that, he still nurses directly from me before he goes to sleep at night, and when we're together during the weekends and I'm trying to make him nap. Even now when I'm already pregnant with my 2nd.

So our breastfeeding relationship continues. Our still on-going journey is like this: having a correct latch from the onset, minor problems on sore nipples during the first month, no biting when he was teething but he loves pulling my nipples out when he was done, having to slowly take it out when he's already fast asleep since he doesn't have the habit of letting it go himself, pulling my shirt up or tugging the neckline down when he wanted his milk, playing with me at night like trying/joking to latch on with my shirt still covering my breast, and several other instances like acrobatic stunts while nursing himself to sleep.

At 5 months...

At 21 months...

It was, and still is, a pretty easy relationship, despite having those sore nipples at the start or the (what I thought then as) neverending sessions during the first 2 weeks or not being to sleep longer than 3 hours during the night as he nurses in the middle of the night.

I think we're slowly on the way to weaning, in my opinion at least, as he now rarely roots for the breast in the middle of the night. Of course, I still wake up due to my full bladder courtesy of my pregnancy. It's one step towards his self-weaning. But I'm in no rush. It's now one of the precious moments I cherish since he's already growing up and I feel that it'd be one of the ways that he wouldn't feel left out when the new baby comes out. Until the day he's ready to stop requesting for my breast, I wouldn't refuse him when he asks.

Check out these posts from other participating bloggers (updated throughout the day):

Chronicles of a Nursing Mom - Barriers/Myths vs. Extended Breastfeeding

J and the Three Boys - No More "de-de"

My Mommyology - My Extended Breastfeeding Experience

Mommyluscious - Breastfeeding For Two Beyond Two

Truly Rich Mom - Truly Rich Tips for Moms: On Extended Breastfeeding (a perfectly normal thing to do!)

Got to Belive - Breastfeeding Room Story

apples & dumplings - My Constant Challenge with Extending Breastfeeding

Mommy Kwentos - Challenges and Rewards of Extended Breastfeeding

The Odyssey of Dina - nurturing rafael: extended breastfeeding, stretching some more lovin'

Legally Mom - Breastfeeding Beyond 1 Year: Barriers and Issues

Mec as Mom - Shooting for the Benefits, Extending the Love

Homeschooling Mommy - Yes, I've Got Milk

SOlovelyN - As long as he wants, I can

Life of a babywearing and breastfeeding mommy - Still breastfeeding after 2 years

"This kid is driving me crazy!"

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 06:19:00 +0000

Yes. I'm echoing Robert Munsch's line from his book Love you Forever which I love to read and I usually sing to my son at night. However, yes! Jack-Jack is driving me crazy at 25 months!

He has bad eating habits which I know and feel guilty about because he must have picked it up from us. It's just that I'm not sure how to correct it. And it saddens me and irks me because while there are a lot of times he'd eat so eagerly and would ask for seconds, there are times he wouldn't even touch his rice and just eat the meat. Or, he's like a mouse, he'd bite on one piece, put it back on his plate, then bite another one and so on and so forth. But he wouldn't finish all even if there are only a few pieces. I'm finding it hard to really feed him, and he's underweight already as it is.

It's also hard to make him fall asleep. Even if we have a semi-established bedtime routine, most nights it's a struggle to make him sleep. Just like last night. He didn't take a nap so it should have been easy making him sleep. But it was just the opposite. He was still bouncing off the walls and he'd keep on asking for the potty twice in a row even if it's just a trickle and he'd keep on going down the bed. I had to roughly push him back on his bed with a shout until he cried. Then I told him sorry while I held him, but that he's being very naughty and mommy wants to sleep already and that mommy also knows he's already tired. He leaned on me with half-closed eyes, echoing what I said with a sleepy voice. And that was the only time he did lie down and proceeded to sleep.

It's exhausting, frustrating, irritating, and even saddening. I know and I admit I might have missed something but I do plan on slowly trying to correct it before it becomes permanent. But I need help, especially my husband's. I have to be firm, but still caring and understanding. But I need J's support in this. Besides, the cycle isn't healthy for my pregnancy. So I really need an overhaul. And a peaceful mind.

Carriers vs Strollers: In celebration of International Babywearing Week

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 11:09:00 +0000

Because it's International Babywearing Week, I just thought it appropriate to share with you my thoughts between travelling with baby using a stroller vs a baby carrier.

I've been using baby carriers since Jack-Jack was a newborn. It did add some bulk to our diaper bag but the ease and convenience of going around crowded places, just minding your own footwork and making sure no one bumps into your baby's head was nothing short of great. I never had difficulty going up or down a floor or level of a shopping mall, I never minded where I'm going. I just made sure that baby was safe. I actually owned several baby carriers which I blogged about here. For a rundown of the carriers I own and owned: 2 ring slings by Jen Tan, a Blissfulbabes pouch, a Kangaroo Korner mesh pouch, a SaYa, a Baby K'Tan, and a mei tai. I've sold some but I retained four carriers.

Before Jack-Jack hit his second year, we wore him less and we sometimes forget to bring a carrier when we go out since he was very active already and liked to walk around. But then he would get tired and cranky and sleep so up he goes. Which resulted to aching arms and backs. That was why we thought maybe it was time we buy a stroller for him. It would especially be useful when Jack-Jack would fall asleep. We bought one and for a while, he liked sitting on his stroller. But that was only about two to three times. And those few times only lasted when he was asleep, or as soon as we got out of the car. Most of the time, the stroller became our shopping cart, wherein the diaper bag was sitting on the seat, shopping bags hanging on the stroller's handles...

While the weightless feeling of not having to carry Jack-Jack was very much welcome, the hassle that came with using a stroller was not. I was always annoyed at having to push the stroller since I now seldom carry him for long periods because of my pregnancy. I hated having to go around stairs on malls and find the ramp so I can go smoothly. It was a hassle going on escalators. I always had to mind where the wheels were going so as not to roll on somebody's foot. The first few times I ran over my husband's toes and he was really upset. What can I do? I'm not used to going around on wheels!

But then after those few times, he didn't want to sit on his stroller! He instead wanted to push it with us. And even after he'd fall asleep on our arms and we'd try to transfer him to his stroller, no more luck. That's why we're actually selling it right now.

So now, we're back to using carriers. Although I actually am looking at buying a soft-structured carrier, like the Boba 3G.

I guess my previous paragraph said it all. Baby carriers are better. Plus, my kid was more behaved when he was carried than when he was in the stroller.

And to end this post, a video I saw from Boba Family's site. View on full screen to fully appreciate the video. :)

I am ready

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 00:51:00 +0000

To come home later tonight and kiss my son endless. I missed him, and J of course, and our little apartment. The overnight vacation did me good. I think it's good for my me, my soul to really miss my kid because I haven't seen him for more than 24 hours. It's like, the love you have for your kid becomes more... intense, in a manner of speaking, when you truly miss them because you haven't really seen them in a while.

Even moms need a break

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 00:57:00 +0000

I've been stressed lately to the point that I can't help but burst into tears in the comfort of darkness and solidarity. I'm not sure if it's because of my raging hormones or what, coupled with a terrible two...

I've been asking myself lately if I'm being too strict, too stiff, too whatever as I find myself raising my voice and being a little to rough on my little boy. It's heartbreaking when he'd cry but I still myself from crumbling down and retracting what I said as I wanted him to exhibit good manners as early as now. I know he's just two but when should I start if I wanted him to grow up as a gentleman, to almost always be on his best behavior? I sometimes think I did something wrong along the way that it's quite difficult to contain his temperament right now and that it's quite a bit late to start teaching him discipline.

I'm on an emotional rollercoaster ride and it's stressing and frustrating and I feel as if I'm a failure at being a mom and I'm even tearing up right now just thinking about it.

I need a break from it. Just to be by myself again, to find myself, as I find it a little too hard to just cope right now. J's not asking me what's wrong anyway and it's not in my nature to just blurt it out. It's not healthy for our relationship, I know, but I need someone to ask me why, how are you, and I need him to do it. It's difficult for me to just suddenly open up and confront people as I'm not that type. So I want and need him to ask me first.

I'm going to take a break. Just for a night. I'm going to stay with my parents and take a breather. I know most moms would prefer to be with their child 24/7 or at least, every sleeping and waking moment. I want that, too, but I think it's time I step back and do something for myself for a change. Besides, I haven't been away from Jack-Jack since he was born. I would go out and have fun but in the end, I would snuggle to him to sleep at night. He went with me on teambuildings and other overnight escapades. So it's going to be a challenge later on, for me and for him. But I think it would benefit us both. I wouldn't be there to challenge his every move and I wouldn't be concerned on his behavior.

There are a lot more things I want to say and to get out of my system but it might not sound coherent at all. So I'll just end this and good luck to me as I miss him already.

The Babywearing Meet 3 - some insights

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 08:55:00 +0000

Babywearing Meet parts 1 and 2 were held at Starbucks Fort. The first one consisted of only a small group of people, more or less 20 people including the organizers. It was held last May and it was quite informal. The different types of carriers were introduced and those who came wanting to learn the slings they bought or received were given attention and were taught how to properly use them.

Babywearing Meet 2 was held last July 2. And it was such a success since there were a lot of moms and some dads who went. We crowded at the 2nd floor of Startbucks Fort. It was a bit chaotic as there were a lot of moms but there were more... instructors (the momprenuers who make/sell the carriers) who assisted the newbies. I was there to, well, observe, really. And see if there's anything new I'd learn or there's a new product out there I'd be able to try.

The third one was held last Saturday, September 24, at Gymboree in Shangri-La. It was more organized and structured, as there was a presentation by Jen Tan about the history and safety guidelines in babywearing. There was a newcomer to the meet, the makers of a wrap called the Bailey Wrap which Jenny came across thru me, most likely. Haha. It was the wrap that really made me want to go there although I already had plans since I wanted to go gathering with like-minded parents when I am available. It was so exciting as I wanted to try using a wrap every since I was pregnant with my first but the wraps were only available online and shipping and the price itself were something I had to think about lots of times. So, with the coming of a local maker of wraps, how can I resist?

I tried it and I liked it! I want it for my new baby. I have a picture at Eli's blog using it with Jack-Jack with Grace, the marketer/co-owner of Bailey Wrap. I want to buy one now while my belly's not yet so big and I want to try using it for a back carry. Hee.

But, I will wait. My cousin promised me she'd buy it for me. If all else fails and I'm not patient enough, I'd buy a manly color so J can use it and practice already before the new baby comes.

Links to blogs of previous meets:
Chronicles of a Nursing Mom
Mimma Benz

Potty-training at night had started

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:19:00 +0000

Last night, as per usual for quite some time now, we had difficulty getting Jack-Jack into his nighttime diaper. We already let him wear just briefs during the day as we’re already potty-training him so it’s only during the night that we put him in diaper to avoid leaks on the bed. However, since we’re always fighting on getting him to wear his diaper, I decided last night to just let him sleep in his brief and just use his old comforter as some sort of protection in case he’d pee during the night. J and I actually agreed before that we’d let him sleep without a diaper when we finally buy him his own bed. But I wanted the constant struggle at night to stop so we let him be last night.

As we sleep and I’d wake up during the night to use the toilet, I would constantly feel if Jack-Jack already peed. And I would always sigh in relief and say a quick thank you when I feel that he’s dry. I’d also try to check if his bottom was still safe on top of the old comforter.

Thankfully, as the sun rose, Jack-Jack stayed dry. And when he finally woke up, I half-convinced half-dragged him to the toilet to let him pee. And I praised him and told him he did a good job staying dry during the night.

All in all, it was a liberating experience. I know we would have leaks some nights as Jack-Jack’s still in training. But the important thing was, we started to really stop using diapers, even at night.

My bad

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 07:18:00 +0000

I weaned from the pump almost 2 months ago already and Jack-Jack had been drinking Nido when I'm in the office. He also already consumed the frozen breastmilk I've stocked. When I first stopped pumping, I instructed his nanny to use up the breastmilk I've stocked in the freezer and supplement with half a cup of Nido. However, I forgot to tell her that once all the frozen milk were gone, Jack-Jack be given full glasses already.

And so it only dawned on me my mistake when Jack-Jack came back from his pedia that he was underweight. It was recommended that he take Pediasure so that his weight would catch up with his height. However, since we just bought a new box of Nido, I told his nanny to just give him at least 2 glasses of milk and let him eat frequently and as much as he wants.

It's really hard to be a parent, much more a mother. Especially since I'm already expecting another little one to take care of, my mind seems to wander more often to the future than in the present. At least, there's no lasting harm done, I think. Jack-Jack's a voracious eater, anyway, especially when he likes the food, so there's no doubt in my mind that he'd be gaining weight soon enough. Besides which, he's also a very active boy, so I'm not too worried. But I am guilty. But that's besides the point.

In my new role

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Thu, 18 Aug 2011 06:49:00 +0000

I applied and got accepted into a lateral position here at work. It's the same process, but now I'd be answering a different set of questions. I'm now part of the IA team in our department and I'd be ensuring that the work done by my colleagues are correct.

I've been hesitant to take it at first, or to continue to pursue it after the first interview as I soon learned that my son would become an older brother in a few months. We've been trying since June and it seems that God finally answered my prayers and requests. It would still be on Saturday when it would be truly confirmed via ultrasound but I did two tests already, once a little more than a week after my guessed ovulation day, and once again on the day I'm supposed to have my mentruation. Both resulted in positive. So I'm just waiting for the ultrasound to really confirm my current condition.

So why was I hesitant to become part of a new team? It's because while I don't experience any physical difficulties that usually accompany my condition, it's the emotional roller coaster ride I have. And it would be really comforting for me if I'm surrounded by familiar faces to whom I can just vent and rant and whatnot. I talked to my new supervisor and unit manager about this and they both told me to do what I think would be best for me. I gave it a day, the first day I reported to my new team, observed if I'd be ok, and then talked about it with J at night. I then decided to just go with it. It's good, too, that I have a friend who was accepted with me.

So far, this is my fourth day and it's been good. It would still be on Monday before I really do any auditing and I've just been practicing since Tuesday. The people here are different, too different from the team I'm used to but I'm willing to adapt. I miss my old team, tho, especially the inside jokes, the spontaneous laughter...

I'm just thinking that there's still our communicator and that we still see each other on the lockers. Thankfully, my condition is fairly easy to handle and looks like I'm coping.

Weaning from the pump... and then some

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 06:44:00 +0000

It's been a few days since I last pumped when I get home from the office. My son now drink powdered milk during the day and nurses directly from me during the night. I would have wanted to continue giving to him purely breastmilk but having changed jobs, I now don't have the luxury of time to express in the office, thus limiting my pumping break to twice before, then once, then just at home when I get back from the office, to not at all. It's quite heartbreaking, honestly, but also liberating at the same time.

Heartbreaking because I wanted to continue to give him and have him drink my milk, purely, until he is 2 years old. Liberating because now I don't have to worry if I have enough milk stocked for him when I'm away.

He's so big now, and he seems to not need me that much anymore. But then he'd do these sweet little things, like hang on to me on my back while I'm reading to him, and then he'd be giggling and laughing... or lean his cheek on my shoulder while he's bubbling with laughter... And then he'd ask for milk, like he couldn't get enough of it during the night, like he's dependent on it to getting really comfortable in bed...

I think it's just as well, since like I've said before, we're gearing and planning on having our next child. At least I know it wouldn't be so hard on him when we would, in fact, expect a little one.

Ever changing

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:17:00 +0000

As the norm in my company, change happens any second everyday. And boy, there have been a lot we've gone through the past few months. And this past few days! Imagine being advised last Monday that we'll be using this process. Then being told the next day that we won't be doing that anymore. Then come Wednesday, there's a new process in the works. Then today, there's a new process in place and we're to implement them NOW. PLUS, there's a new system we'd be using and we need to get used to the interface in 2 days... wait, scrap that, 1 day because we'd be using that live next week already. And oh. Aside from the system training, we'll also be training for a new process as our department, which is currently divided into two groups, will now merge. We'll now be doing two completely different processes, so that whatever workload we'll be getting in our queue, we'll be able to work on it.

Meaning, we might be having weekend trainings because of that. Add to that, I'm not even in production as somebody needs to attend the meetings that our supervisor is supposed to attend but since our supervisor is yet to be formally announced, I'm not appointed as the point-person.

I need some positive energy.

In less than 2 months

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 01:29:00 +0000

My Jack-Jack is turning two. TWO! I can't belive how time flies so fast. It feels like it was just yesterday when I couldn't leave the house without all my pumping supplies because he was still too dependent on my milk and I have to keep up with my milk supply.

But now... I can go out without my pump. I now pump just once at home, for his consumption the next day. He's also drinking powdered milk, and eating alot, and running around alot... He can now say No when he doesn't like something, and he would say Again when he likes something.

Last weekend, J bought him a stroller. It's for his use when he's tired and sleepy and we're still out and about. We bought it at Youji & Me and while we were there, he was fascinated with all the other toys there. And so I'll be buying him this:

And this:

And maybe some other stuff. :) It's time to update his toys. Hee. It's his birthday, anyway.

The tawas experience

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:32:00 +0000

Jack-Jack had skin blisters that weren't healing up as they were itchy and he kept on scratching them, causing them to swell until pus built up on those wounds whenever we'd see signs of those wounds drying up, he'd scratch them again, repeating the cycle.

We suspected they were due to an insect bite on his leg that was too itchy he can't keep his hands of them and since he'd be scratching that and then scratch other parts of his body, it spread, especially when the wound already produced pus. It was almost a week, and there were no signs of those healing up. We decided to take him to the doctor today, as soon as J can set an appointment yesterday.

However, our nanny apparently had other ideas. My husband texted me yesterday afternoon that our nanny called a mag-tatawas (a faith-healer) to perform some ritual on Jack-Jack. She said later on when I got home that she was trying to call J to tell him that she was going to call a faith-healer to check what's wrong with my son but he wasn't answering so she just went ahead and called the healer.

The healer pricked my son's wounds to get the pus out using yellow ginger, and bathed him in water infused with atis leaves, using classic Safeguard soap. Those were ok. Until my nanny said that the reason the wounds weren't getting any better and multiplying was because there are dwarves in our house that our nanny angered. She said that those dwarves were playing on my son. And when I got home, there was an offering in our garage. And another thing. The reason why my son wasn't getting... fatter was because he had pilay.

Now, I have no problems resorting to faith-healers, but please do it after we got a doctor's opinion since we were already calling for an appointment. It just irks me that she did it without consulting us first. Yes, maybe she was thinking that we might be blaming her or something but we don't. Yes, she's concerned about her charge but so are we. I'm just not panicking because I know it's treatable and yes, Jack-Jack might look kawawa but we are already setting up a doctor's appointment so that his wounds can be treated.

Well. I'm hoping that doesn't happen again. Because I wouldn't be able to hold myself from speaking out if it does.

Vacay Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 06:52:00 +0000

Ok. That's actually vacation Monday but what the heck. I'm currently on vacation leave (VL) from work due to an enormous amount of changes that happened the past few weeks and they were all jumbled up that management had to step back and rethink their strategy. Tomorrow will be a new day, and hopefully, the start of something better.

Anyway, I was supposed to go out earlier because I wanted to shop for some fabrics and then try to use the sewing machine we bought last year but... I got lazy. So I just cleaned my make-up brushes...

and mineral make-up containers (so that I can use them for the sample pigments I bought)...

while my little prince sleeps by.

Oh, well. Time to get some rest, anyway. We've been to Singapore two weeks ago then my grandma died and we've been to the province for the past two weekends because of that. And then we did some grocery shopping yesterday to fill our fridge and pantry.

It's been pretty draining, both personally and financially. Hee.

As a last note, here's a panoramic view of the last Babywearing Meet I attended:

Benz and a few others blogged about it's massive success. :)

To my sweet albeit eccentric grandma

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 08:49:00 +0000

Truth be told, I've been waiting for the time that you would finally feel no pain. That you'd finally be with lolo and tita Emen. But I never expected it to be this soon. Or maybe, while I was waiting for it, I didn't want to be true.

Sorry I wasn't able to come on your birthday, and wasn't able to come the next day which I told my sister I would. I was too busy with personal things that I forgot family is more important and not being able to be there left me with a guilty heart.

You were still active when we last saw you during your wedding anniversary. And there were many times after that I wanted to come and visit you but didn't find the time.

Thank you for being able to come on my wedding, despite your hesitations. Thank you for accepting my husband in our family, and for always looking for my son when my sister or another family member comes to visit you.

I'll miss you. But I know you're in good hands now. You won't feel pain anymore. You're free. And you're with lolo and tita Emen now. Look out over us, lola.

I love you.

Hating the work he loves, and other things

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 06:56:00 +0000

For the past few days, I've been constantly joking and teasing my husband for his absence at home during sleeping hours due to the demands of his work. He had to go to various provinces just to cater to the woes and wants of the people in-charge there. For the past month, he hadn't a full week of sleeping at home. He'd usually leave at night to catch the bus going to Baguio so that he'd arrive there early the next morning, or he'd leave early the next day to ride a plane going to Naga. Then he'd be at those provinces for at least two nights. He even didn't complete my birthday week last month at home! If I remember correctly, he had an overnight call Monday to Tuesday, then he left again on Thursday and got back Friday.

And so I'd always tease him that while here I was, waiting for the right time to get pregnant while he's out there, maybe impregnating some woman I don't know. I'd tease him that Jack-Jack would have a sibling in Naga, in Baguio, next month in Hong Kong and Australia! I'm sure he was getting pissed off or irritated at me for going on and on like that. It's just that it's frustrating because I feel like he's never home. I know that all those trips he had or will be having are all part of his work but it would have been better if he was getting compensated for all the clients he was able to bring to the company with all those trips instead of the credit going to the relationship managers he was assisting. He said that the last trips he'd go to would be those scheduled next month. Let's just see.

On another note, we'll be going to Singapore in two weeks! I've been researching online on the laws and policies they have regarding breastfeeding in public. I may have to ask N@W for input as there are several members there who are living in Singapore.

And speaking of breastfeeding, Jack-Jack's been clingy these past few days. I'm not sure if it's because he somehow feels that we're already planning for another baby or it's just because he really needs to be soothed for something he still can't express verbally... He asks for milk almost all the time when we're together. I can waylay him with a biscuit or some other food or another activity but then, after a few minutes, he'd go back and ask for milk. I don't know... If I can't persuade him to do another, I just give in and drop almost everything that I'm doing.

Thoughts on continuing breastfeeding while pregnant

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Tue, 31 May 2011 10:11:00 +0000

No. I'm not pregnant. YET. Yes. That's a "yet" there as we're planning (or rather I'm planning as my husband really has no choice but to participate, heehee) to get pregnant by next month so that I'll be able to give birth on March (due to the insistent request of my sister that I give her someone to celebrate her birth month with). And as the exciting prospect of trying to get pregnant this time as the conception of my first-born was unplanned, comes the question, "Is my body fit to breastfeed while pregnant?"

I've tried reading articles from kellymom.com, listened to Abbie Yabot talk about tandem nursing her last two kids... But still, it's a case to case basis and while I'm psyched to get pregnant again, I'm also worried on my on-going breastfeeding relationship with my son.

I love breastfeeding him. Even when there are days I feel am too tired, too cranky to breastfeed him as he demands, I cannot and will not exchange those moments. I don't want that relationship to end until he is ready. And he clearly is not. When I'm home, he likes climbing up to my lap to breastfeed, and it's usually during the hours that we're due to eat, or when he's supposed to be sleeping already. I'm still his human-pacifier at 20, going on 21 months.

And so the question remains... Is my body fit? Because I'm not the healthiest eater. And to be able to survive pregnancy while nursing my toddler, I have to change my eating habits. Plus I have to discontinue my new love of Paola's cookies, which I tried just like weekend!

But, I still do want to get pregnant. I'm ready to share my love to another baby. Plus, I don't want the age gap between my son and the next to be too big. Three years is just right.

Picture of the months...

noreply@blogger.com (Pat Grace) — Tue, 17 May 2011 10:26:00 +0000

Yes, months. Because I kind of neglected posting for the past few months. I had a few posts in draft but I forgot what I was going to say so...

Anyway, here are the pictures.

[March 16, 2011]

[April 18, 2011]

[May 1, 2011]

Yes, yes, I know. They're not taken on the 15th. What can I do? I'm forgetful that way. Hee. :)