Yeah. You’re right. This isn’t movie news, or related at all to movies… well, except in the beginning while he’s talking about allegedly working with John Singleton on some unknown movie. But, this is so awkwardly hilarious I just couldn’t help but post this to share after seeing it featured on last night’s episode of ‘Attack of the Show’. Enjoy…

Last night I was watching the new trailer for District 9 and I came across a phone number on a bilboard in the trailer. It was 1-866-666-6001. Feel free to call it yourself. It was quite a surreal experience and one of the better pieces of viral marketing. I hung up quickly though and decided to share my experience with you.

Here’s my video:

I later went to the website mentioned. www.MNUSpreadsLies.com and found that it was website done by one of the non-humans located in the slums of district 9. This is slowly becoming my most anticipated film of the year, and I can’t help but feel the excitement I did when I was entangled in all the Cloverfield mysteries from last year.

Could District 9 be this years Cloverfield? Who knows. Check out the video. Sorry if I seem hyper, I was just excited.

If you have any more cool viral marketing on this film please post it in the comments. I’d love to see what else is going on.

After being given a shot in the face with the Red Band trailer, why would you ever go back to watching silly Green Band trailers like the kids do?  Nevertheless, 20th Century Fox has released the Green Band trailer for ‘Jennifer’s Body,’ and we have it right here for your viewing pleasure.

Check it:

All in all, it looks kind of bland.  Looks pretty much like any another, high school horror movie with the only real selling point being star Megan Fox and write Diablo Cody.  The trailer makes it look PG-13-errific, so the fact that it got slapped with an R might be one more thing going for it.

‘Jennifer’s Body’ comes out on September 18th.

Source: Yahoo! Movies

MTV has received the first official photo of Christopher Mintz-Plasse as The Red Mist from Matthew Vaughn comic book adapted ‘Kick-Ass’.

For those of you that haven’t read the comic books, The Red Mist comes into play after Dave Lizewski (Kick-Ass) decides to become a real life superhero. After a video is released of him helping save a man from a gang rape beating and he becomes an Internet sensation and inspires other like minded teenagers to do the same. One of them is Red Mist, but he isn’t everyone he claims to be.

Check out the full photo below from MTV.

Back in November of 2008, I saw a film called ‘Shadowland’ at the Saint Louis International Film Festival (SLIFF). ‘Shadowland’ is a fresh take on the classic vampire story, written and directed by Wyatt Weed and starring Caitlin McIntosh and Jason Contini.

The cool thing about this poster is that it highlights the romantic element of the film as well as the more traditional Gothic influence on the vampire story. ‘Shadowland’ will be playing at the Tivoli Theatre during the Saint Louis Showcase series from July 24 through July 31, 2009.

‘Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins’ is one of those classic films from the ’80s that never turned into the franchise it had potential for.  Based on the series of paperback novels, The Destroyer, it told the story of a cop whose death is faked in order to turn him into an government assassin. 

In 1985, Orion Pictures took The Destroyer and its lead character and turned it into a feature film starring Fred Ward as Williams.  Guy Hamilton, the director behind such classic, James Bond films as ‘Live and Let Die’ and ‘The Man With the Golden Gun,’ was even behind the film, but it failed to make an impace with audience.  It pulled in a domestic take of $14 million against an estimated $40 million budget.

Now, nearly a quarter of a century after ‘Remo Williams,’ it looks like The Destroyer is getting a second chance at the big screen.  Risky Biz Blog is reporting that ‘The Dark Knight’ producer Charles Roven and ‘Transformers’ producer Steve Chasmen are teaming to produce ‘The Destroyer’ for Columbia Pictures.  Screenwriters Charley and Vlas Parlapanides, whose ‘War of Gods’ is the next directing project for Tarsem Singh, have signed on to write the screenplay.

‘The Destroyer’ is a rare case of a remake of an ’80s film that is actually warranted.  ‘Remo Williams’ was the perfect setup for a major franchise, and the series of novels numbers up around 150.  There are plenty of adventures already written for Williams to take on.  Here’s hoping Tommy Shaw’s theme song, What If, is also updated for the new film.

Source: Risky Biz Blog

The first photo from ‘Whip It’ has hit the web thanks to USA Today. The movie is a roller derby comedy but having watched many female roller derby matches there isn’t a whole Hell of a lot to laugh about. Those girls are usually pretty intense! We will see how this pans out but at least you get a good glimpse of Drew Barrymore and Juno Ellen Page above. Barrymore is also jumping behind the camera as director on the film, which marks her directorial debut.

What do you guys think? Can we find laughs behind the brutal reality that is female roller derby?

It’s been a month now, here at AniMania — a month of ninjas and wolfgirls, of star crossed lovers and hard boiled crime drama — and I realized that I haven’t even stopped to introduce myself. Travis told me when I started writing the column that I could post a short bio, but each week there were more shows, more reviews, more and better things to talk about than yours truly. And with so many new titles coming out, and so many great old series that deserve to have some light shed on them, there always will be. But here at the one month mark, I decided to take a break for this week, and tell you a little about myself, and part of my own descent into utter otaku geek-dom.

For starters, maybe I should explain the term, otaku. Simply put, an “otaku” is an anime fan. And I don’t mean just any fan. An otaku is a really geeky, hopelessly obsessive fan, whose whole life revolves around buying and watching anime. The only thing geekier than an otaku might be what the Japanese call a “hikikomori”, someone who becomes a hermit, refusing to leave their home, no longer able to function in normal society. Otaku are still marginally functional. They have jobs. So they can buy more anime…

One of the marks of a true otaku is that they don’t just buy the shows — they buy all of the STUFF that goes along with them. There are posters, figures, wall scrolls, models, soundtracks — life sized body pillows of the characters in their underwear — the list goes on. And I decided, right at the beginning, that I wanted no part of it. All of those things smacked of geekery, or worse yet, being a NERD, and I still considered myself to be a normal, well adjusted individual who just happened to like anime. At least, that’s what I thought.

It started with Inuyasha figures. ONE Inuyasha figure. I’d seen them for a while at the Hot Topic store, but resisted getting any, dismissing all of that as a bunch of childish nonsense. But one day, after seeing them for about a year, and feeling particularly nostalgic for that old sensation of buying a “toy” again, I decided to treat myself, and bought the figure for my favorite character, the priestess, Kikyo.

Then I noticed Naraku was on sale. Six bucks! I couldn’t say no to a deal like that. But now I had a problem. It was one thing, to buy one figure, on a lark. Now I had two: Kikyou and Naraku. But Kikyo and Naraku don’t go together at ALL (unless you’re one of those underground Kikyo x Naraku shippers, but we won’t get into that here). Somehow, this led to an epic quest to collect all of the Inuyasha figures. Unfortunately, Hot Topic had just discontinued them. After visiting every Hot Topic within a 50 mile radius, picking up Sango at a con (if it sounds bad, it’s supposed to), and receiving Kagome as a gift, I finally had the whole set, all except for Kouga, but the Kouga figures had some sort of problem at the factory, and came out a little orange looking, so I held off on getting him.

Around the same time, I innocently noticed that I was running out of new things to listen to in the car, so I bought one of the soundtracks for Cowboy Bebop, and two from Big O. Geekery aside, the soundtracks from both of these shows stand on their own as great music, and if you like jazz or bebop, they are well worth a listen. At this point, I was unconcerned. I’d picked up a few toys, but so what? They all fit neatly on one table, and it was fun to buy toys again. And then — well, I’m still not sure what happened.

For one thing, Christmas happened. A close friend of mine was in danger of moving out of state, and as a special gift, in anticipation of all the Christmasses we then figured we’d be out of touch for, he went and did the unthinkable, and got me two limited edition Motoko Aoyama figures. To this day, he won’t tell me how much they cost him, and though I did get him a Shinobu, and later chipped in to buy him a sword, I still don’t feel like I’ve adequately returned the favor.

That next spring, I was at a con (I’d started going to cons by this point), and was able to haggle a great deal on a Rei Ayanami figure. It was “Wedding Rei”, and I ended up having my friend help me smuggle her to the car, because my girlfriend has been wanting to get married since somewhere around the second date, and if she found out I saw Rei in a wedding dress before I saw her in one, she’d kill me.

My girlfriend found out (they ALWAYS find out), and ironically, she didn’t kill me. Instead, she got me a Gothic Rei figure for my birthday. I have a VERY understanding girlfriend. I’d say it was all downhill from there, but it had probably been all downhill the entire time. And so where does that leave things now? Well, let’s see, looking around the room here, my Inuyasha figures are piled on my writing table, along with a very nicely sculpted rendering of Alex Row from Last Exile. A small Rei and Sesshomaru are on top of the computer desk, along with Gothic Rei, who is wearing skirt and sitting on concrete, which can’t be very comfortable. Wedding Rei is on the chest of drawers, with Kikyo, Kagome, two Motokos, and a Haruhi Suzumiya figure.

My girlfriend’s Haruhi outfit is in the closet — she sent it home with me, because she doesn’t have any more hanging space for the rest of her cosplays. My Sesshomaru costume is hanging on the back of the door. There’s a wall scroll in the corner of Yuko, from xxxHolic, and signed by the voice actress, Colleen Clinkenbeard, who also autographed the xxxHolic clock my girlfriend gave me at this year’s ACEN. Another xxxHolic wallscroll is over the bed. The swords from the aforementioned Sesshomaru costume are by the night stand. More posters and wall scrolls are piled around the room. And then there’s the anime. And manga. Man, I’m such a dork.

I’m still not sure just how I acquired all of this stuff. I have this sneaking suspicion that my friends gave some of it to me in an effort to pull me down to their own levels of geek-ness. That, or it’s a conspiracy by the NHK. Both scenarios are equally likely. For my part, I’m blaming the whole thing on Kikyo. Either way, that’s all for this week’s column. Look for more reviews next week, and if there’s something you’d like to see or comment about, feel free to leave a post about it.

(Edward Douglas does NOT own any anime body pillows. Instead, he plots ways to get his girlfriend to cosplay his favorite anime characters.)

I thought that June 25th it might be a good idea to go back and take a look at Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker and see who if fares over time and after his death. The answer is a mixed one. I couldn’t help but like this film, but I laughed at all it’s lunacy crazy ideas.

Moonwalker is less of a film, and more of an experience. It’s actual story driven film doesn’t start until fourty minutes into the movie. Before that we’re given several music videos and a montage of Michael’s life. We start with “Man in the Mirror,” which is done through a montage of concert footage. There are girls screaming, fainting, trying desperately to get onto the stage, and of course Michael just rocking out and giving a truly great show. It’s truly aweinpiring in some cases when you see the huge arenas and oudoor venues he’d sell out.

This takes us into Michael’s life by showing us a small room filled with memorabilia from over the years. Everything from studded gloves to shoes and a lot of family photos, while we listen to sound bites from his early career and more. We then travel with the TV that turns into a space ship and we get a montage of his life done through a lot of claymation and clips from music videos and TV shows. The Jackson 5 footage is fantastic and it’s enhanced with some cool effects. If you’re a fan of Michael it’s really hard to sit through this enitre segment without getting a little depressed. The man’s career was packed with tallented hit after hit before the tabloids and rumors hit. This montage if filled with just hit after hit single and it starts to become a little staggering.

What comes next is “Badder” which is a famous interpretation of the “Bad” that’s done entirely by children. It still comes off as awesome and hilarious even two decades later. We get “Baby Bad” Michael walking off set and suddenly turning into adult Michael and we’re instantly off into another music video “Speed Demon” which is about fans and reporters chasing Michael across America and to get away from them he dresses up as a large claymation rabbit. We get this really strange real world/claymation hybrid that still works and a lot of it looks great. The rabbit version of Michael dances and moves just like Michael would and they even have a dance off. It’s classic.

That eventually moves us into “Leave Me Alone” which is Michael’s answer to the tabloids at the time. Michael is seen as taking a ride through a strange ammusement park that is actually his own body and life. We see glimpses of everything people were talking about him from own the Elephant Man’s body and even addresses the plastic surgery done to his nose. They even bring up little things like his supposed shrine to Liz Taylor. The entire video is imaginative and well made. It’s done with a strange semi-stopmotion animation style but with real photogrpahs manipulated in post. It’s a great statement and now looking back on it, maybe people should have left him alone.

When “Leave Me Alone” ends we’re finally treated to the real “movie” of Moonwalker. Moonwalker is the story of three kids, Zeke, Katie and Sean who all know Michael. They spy on him at night coming out of his nice apartment and then see him get gunned down by a group of soldiers and then we flash back to a time with all of the kids and Michael hanging out playing soccer. When their dog skipper gets lost in the woods, Michael and Katie go after him, getting lost and taken to a dark scary part of the forrest that isn’t dark or scary at all despite what Michael says.

Michael and Kate stumble into a factory making drugs by a japanese top knot wearing Joe Pesci calling himself “Mr Big”. It’s a very heavy handed approach of saying “drugs are bad, Michael Jackson says so”. Mr Big actually says “I want every kid in this world to take drugs because of me!” It’s just terrible acting and you don’t buy it for a second. I remember being five or six years old and thinking this guy was the most evil person in the world, but now, he’s just hacking his way through the role. Flash forward to when Michael was getting gunned down and we see that he ducks just in the nick of time.

There’s a huge chase between Michael and Mr Big’s security through the streets and they finally have Michael trapped. What happens next is the start of one of the craziest films of all time. Michael sees a shooting star and wishes on it, and then turns into a car. Yes Michael Jackson actually transformers into a futuristic (for the time) car and flies away.

The rest of the movie is just as absurred with scene after scene that makes little sense. They actually manage to fit in “Smooth Criminal,” which is a modern take on speak easys from the 1930s, and it some how makes sense despite the previous scene involving Michael turning into a car.

But if Michael turning into a car weren’t strange enough the finale involves the most insane ending of all time. I won’t give away the finale of course, but let’s just say Michael Jackson was the first Transformer to ever hit the big screen.

It’s really hard to do a serious review on this film because it’s not really a film. Sure it was on the big screen, but it’s more of a series of music videos and ideas with almost no plot to it at all. There’s no story until 45 minutes into the movie and that story doesn’t last much longer than 30 and then we get a concert with Michael singing “Come Together”. It’s a pretty good cover I guess, but after what you’d just seen for the past hour and 15 minutes it’s a pretty lack luster one.

Moonwalker should be seen by anyone even a little bit curious as to what was going on in Michael Jackson’s head. It’s confusing, but fun to watch. It really does achieve everything it tries to do, and for that I can’t fault it. It’s an insane trip through strange ideas and great music and in the end you’ll probably like it.

Hollywood megastar Will Smith and his ‘I Am Legend’ director are coming together once again.  Francis Lawrence, who also directed the underrated ‘Constantine,’ has signed on to direct ‘City That Sailed,’ a project at 20th Century Fox that looks to be a potential starring vehicle for Big Willie Style.The film, written by David Levien and Brian Koppelman (’Ocean’s Thirteen’), will star Smith as a father whose daughter live on opposite sides of the ocean. Their love is so strong that it causes New York City to split off and cross the Atlantic.  Smith is expected to co-produce the film with Overbrook Entertainment partner James Lassiter.

While the idea for this film is sweet, and while Lawrence hasn’t completely disappointed with his first, two feature films, ‘City That Sailed’ sounds like a logistical nightmare.  Unless there is some clever writing going on here, it sounds like this film has the potential to deliver nothing but huge, gaping plot holes.

Source: Variety

August 21st cannot get here soon enough.  That is all.

Source: Yahoo

You gotta smurf it to Raja Gosnell.  The guy sure smurfed the hell out of the ‘Scooby Doo’ property.  Between the two theatrical movies, that franchise smurfed over $237 million.  Now, Gosnell is looking to smurf another cartoon franchise altogether.

Okay, enough of that smurf.  Raja Gosnell, who brought ‘Scooby Doo’ to the live action big screen right after giving us ‘Big Momma’s House’ has signed on to direct the CG animated ‘Smurfs’ feature film.  Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation announced Gosnell’s attachment to the film today.

‘Smurfs,’ which will surely feature at least 101 little, blue creatures who do battle with the human-sized Gargamel and his cat, Azrael, is being written by J. David Stem and David N. Weiss (’Shrek 2′ and ‘Daddy Day Camp’) and Audrey Wells (’George of the Jungle’ and ‘The Kid’).

Says producer Jordan Kerner of Gosnells involvement: “With Raja coming aboard, we now have a brilliant director who has proven time and again that he has a deft touch in blending the worlds of physical comedy and honest emotion with both live action and photo real animated characters. Our three-apple-high heroes are in good hands, and we feel absolutely, positively Smurfy to be working with him.”

Gosnell’s directing talen was last put on display with last year’s ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua,’ and his usage of animated characters in a live action environment looks to continue with ‘Smurfs.’

Smurf that.

Source: Columbia Pictures

The official trailer for ‘District 9′ is online and looks absolutely amazing and ridiculous at the same time. Check out the trailer below which premiered on Yahoo today, with the LEGIT Embed code from /Film:

Hello fiends!  Miss me?  Awww…stop it now.  I’m back this week to talk about film scores in the genre I love.  They are iconic.  This is a known fact.  Even people that aren’t familiar with the genre as much as film geeks are know when they are hearing the music that was designed to creep them out.  I recall a couple of years back on my normal weekly visits to Best Buy, I would go to the keyboard section and play Carpenter’s simplistic, but effective, theme from ‘Halloween’.  Most people knew what film it was from and would comment on how it creeped them out.  Hell, sometimes I would get a story out of it from a random stranger.  With the horror genre, the score and themes of a film are a character.   It can set the mood or just have a catchy melody or just put you in an eerie state.  Think about it.  Everyone knows the ‘Friday the 13th’ theme.  Well, at least the CHIC CHIC CHIC…KA KA KA part.

In the horror genre, the musical accompaniment is broken down into simple devices that I have coined the following:
“The Stinger” (a.k.a. The Cat out of Nowhere)
“The Mood Establisher”
“The ‘Oh Shit, something’s about to happen!’ Buildup”

All of these are in every slasher film and, since Carpenter’s ‘Halloween’, have laid the blueprint for any horror film score.  I’m not saying that ‘Halloween’ was the origin, but it’s best example I can give to explain this to you, loyal reader.

“The Stinger” is usually used more as a sound effect to accompany an action on screen.  It is devised to be a discordant sound to give you a jolt and is usually a different noise in tone than the non-main score – also known as “The Mood Establisher”. “The Stinger” stands out.  In Carpenter’s ‘Halloween’, we hear it when Michael Myers walks into frame without the characters knowing or when he attacks. In other films, it could be notes we hear after a lead up to an actual threat to the character on the screen – “The ‘Oh Shit, something’s about to happen!’ Buildup”.  Lately, it leads up to a “Jump Scare” or a “Fake Scare” – Hence the a.k.a. “Cat out of Nowhere” subtitle (Horror Fans know what I mean).

“The Mood Establisher”is the theme that may or may not harken back to the melody or notes of the main theme.  Obviously, this is created to establish mood.  Visuals alone can do this, but it is very rare.  To take you out of the ‘Halloween’ environment, let me hit you with a different film that is very reliant on it’s score.  ‘Jaws’ probably wouldn’t be as scary if it didn’t have the Shark Theme – DUH, DUM.  DUH, DUM.  When you hear that, if you are in the water…you will probably jump out.  You know that shit is about to go down.  When you feel that way, I think the Mood is established.

“The ‘Oh Shit, something’s about to happen!’ Buildup” – this is one that can be a crescendo of notes that build up to an action with no musical accompaniment or, one that leads up to “The Stinger”. I have seen this used a couple of ways.  It can either lead you down a dangerous path to only have the “Fake Scare” or it can be used to put your senses in check and make you feel unsafe.  If the film establishes this theme early on and sticks to the conventional method of delivering a genuine scare or kill at the end of this buildup, when the audiences hears it again, it will bring them back to that previous mindset.

In this new generation of horror, the groundwork that was laid by composers like Manfredini (‘Friday the 13th’), Carpenter, and others is being turned upside down.  Some horror films are keeping the score back and pushing the sound design forward.  Granted, this isn’t anything new either.  Sound Design is also a character and some might say it deserves the same character grouping as the musical themes.  With Sound Design, you are creating a virtual environment.  One of the best examples I have seen – or heard – would be Neil Marshall’s ‘The Descent’.  It even got to a point where I wouldn’t let anyone borrow my R2 DVD to see it in advance prior to it’s US release unless they had 5.1.  Why?  Imagine the score of ‘Halloween’ not being in the film, that is how ‘The Descent’ would feel.  It is set in a dark environment and when our brains cannot process anything visual, our hearing sense is heightened.  5.1 creates a three dimensional environment and with a film like ‘The Descent’, it is essential.

Some composers have experimented with infrasound to actually cause a physical feeling to the audience.  Probably the most publicized example of this is not neccessarily a textbook horror film, but one that many horror genre fans know of.  That film is Gasper Noé’s ‘Irréversible’.  Thomas Bangalter, one half of the group Daft Punk, created tones to accompany the buildup to one the film’s controversial scenes.  With Noé’s dizzying visuals of what can simply be called a “out of control floating camera”, Bangalter had a tone lying secretly under a synth melody throughout this sequence.  The tone was reported to be 28Hz.  The frequency has been reported to cause nausea, sickness and vertigo.  To me, it just kept me uneasy.  When you watch the film, the visuals don’t help either.  Your eyes are trying to adapt to an dark environment that we keep getting glimpses of red.  It is a sensory assault and that is why it works so well.

Music and Sound Design is a character.  In the horror genre, it is as important, if not more important, than the antagonist of any horror film you are watching.  Now, buy a 5.1 system, you are missing out!

Horror News:

• Before you see the remake, 1987’s ‘The Stepfather’ will be hitting the DVD shelves via Shout Factory! on October 13th!  The original stars Terry O’ Quinn (Locke from ‘Lost’) in the title role.
• Speaking of 1987, ‘The Gate’ is being remade by Alex Winter – Director of ‘Freaked’ and Bill from the ‘Bill and Ted’ films.  Production is set to start later this Summer.

Horror DVD & Blu-Ray Releases for Next Week:

“

Pick of the Week: [REC

The Haunting In Connecticut (Lionsgate) – imdb | Single-Disc , Unrated , Blu-Ray
Horsemen (Lionsgate) – imdb|amazon
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer Blu-ray (Sony) – imdb|amazon

Amazon Horror Deals:

Adiós!

[Andy Triefenbach is the host of the horror & cult movie podcast - DESTROY THE BRAIN! - which is available online at http://www.destroythebrainonline.com]

Occasionally the life of a movie critic is a rough one. Sure we get ot see all the amazing new movies early and talk about them before they come out, but then once in a while we throw ourselves infront of a bullet and see a movie like “Van Wilder: Freshman Year” in order to save you from the pain. Here’s me showing you all the mortal wounds this steaming pile left me with.

When you make a prequel you have a few options about how you can go about doing it. You can hire the same actor and hope they’re still in massively good shape like Hugh Jackman was for Wolverine, you can reinvent the character like they did with Star Trek and Chris Pine, you can go way back in time and make it a story about the same characters as kids, or you can do what this film did and hire an actor that looks nothing like the original actor to do a bad impersonation of the actor that created the role. Not only does Jonathan Bennett’s Van Wilder not look anything like Ryan Reynolds, but he’s also older than Ryan Reynolds was when he created the role. That may not seem like a big deal, but the character is supposed to be seven years younger than he was in the original film, and Jonathan Bennett is almost 30. Thirty playing eighteen never goes over well.

The plot of the film, if you want to stretch and say there is one, is that Van Wilder isn’t the super popular party maniac we know him as in the first film because the dean of the school won’t allow any of the awesome things we expect in a rated R college movie. Dean Rearden is a stuck up jerk who’s mad at Van Wilder’s father because he was a party animal when he went to that school. Now Rearden is on a rampage to make Van Wilder’s life a living hell.

Yes it’s a boring terrible plot, but fear not! All of the recylced jokes from the first movie are BACK! That’s right Van Widler make’s friends with a stoner named Farely Marley, and a Chinese exchange student who’s desperate to get laid. And yes the exchange student has an obscene name! It’s Yu Dum Fok! ISN’T THAT CLEVER!? Why he wasn’t named Sum Yung Gy is beyond me.

Of course there’s a girl in the film, and like in all college films she’s dating the douche bag that hates the hero. In this case the douche bag and his friend are two cadets in the dean’s ROTC program. Guess what… they have clever names too! Corporals Benedict and Arnold. The girl this time around is Kaitlyn Hayes played by the champion of wooden performances Kristin Cavallari.

“Freshman Year” accomplishes what it sets out to do from the very start. It’s goal is to tell only the most juvinile of jokes while showing as much nudity as they can before being called pornography. It’s a relic in the world of R rated comedies. This style of film hasn’t been popular since American Pie was still on the big screen. It’s not funny, original, and goes against the continuity of the first film.

The biggest reason to not watch this film is that it simply doesn’t matter. Does Van get the girl? WHO CARES!? Van was clearly single when the original film was made so whether he gets this girl or not, she won’t be in the picture for very long. He’s a party animal and whatever lesson he learns in this movie about being a nice guy was completely lost somewhere along the way. Same goes for all of his new best friends. Where were they in the original film? There’s no reason his room mate from the original film couldn’t have been in this one, but instead they replace him and everyone else with poor copies, which is saying alot since the first movie isn’t exactly a beloved piece of work.

Overall Rating: 1 out of 5

The video we put up previously got pulled really quickly, but now you can watch first 8 minutes of ‘The Hurt Locker’ thanks to HULU:

Hard to believe it’s been 16 years since The Immortals released their theme song to ‘Mortal Kombat.’  Arcades across America were filled with teens and pre-teens screaming ‘MORTAL KOMBAT!’ at the top of their lungs just before they knocked Johnny Cage’s head literally off his shoulders.  Now, after two theatrical feature films, an animated feature film released straight to VHS, a short-lived TV series, and even an animated series, a third film in the ‘Mortal Kombat’ franchise is looking to get underway.  What’s more, it seems production is set to begin as soon as this coming September.The news comes as a short snippet from an article in the SGV Tribune based out of San Gabriel Valley, California.  The article is about Chris Casamassa, a Karate instructor who played Scorpion in the 1995 first feature film and the 1997 sequel.  As an FYI, and just to put the cap on this guy’s crap films list, he was George Clooney’s stunt double for ‘Batman & Robin.’

However, Casamassa claims that work on a third ‘Mortal Kombat’ film is set to begin in September and that he is, once again, set to play Scorpion.

I guess 12 years is a long enough period of time to forget that a film tanked.  ‘Mortal Kombat,’ upon its release in August of 1995 made $122 million worldwide.  ‘Mortal Kombat: Annihilation’ made $51 million worldwide when it was released in November of 1997.  That’s quite a dropoff between films, but, you never know, time may have created a bit of nostalgia in some fans of the video game, and a third film could, potentially, make some coin.

A third film in the franchise has been talked about since before ‘Annihilation’ even came out, but plans to make ‘Mortal Kombat: Devastation’ were quickly swept under the carpet after that film tanked.  It appears Threshold Entertainment, the company behind all past incarnations of the franchise, are still dead set on getting this third film done.  Whether it actually comes to pass or not will have to be seen come September.  We’ll let you know.

Source: SGV Tribune

The movie is called ‘The Details,’ and here is the synopsis: Jeff and Nealy are a struggling, married couple with a problem bigger than their petty differences.  That would be the infestation of rabid raccoons in their back yard.  The problems the couple has escalate, and, at some point, someone gets murdered with a bow and arrow.It’s a black comedy from writer/director Jacob Aaron Estes who blew critics away in 2004 with his unflinching ‘Mean Creek.’  Today comes word that Tobey Maguire, looking quite rabid himself in that pic above, has stepped into the role of Jeff.  He will be joining Elizabeth Banks, who is playing Nealy, in a role that was previously filled by James McAvoy.  Scheduling issues forced McAvoy to drop out.

“Maguire’s character is an everyman in the sense that he is composed of a morally ambiguous core,” Estes said. “He has good intentions, but he makes a lot of self-destructive mistakes.”

Ray Liotta, Anna Friel, and Laura Linney are also among those cast in the film.  ‘The Details’ begins shooting in Seattle in August.

Source: Variety

Well on its way to 20,000 writers is the McG-directed remake/prequel to ‘20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.’  Titled ‘Captain Nemo,’ the latest screenwriter to take a pass at the script is writer/director Randall Wallace. 

‘Captain Nemo’ will take us back to the beginning, showing us the origins of the nefarious Captain and how he came into possession of the submarine, the Nautilus.  In the original sequel to ‘20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,’ written by Jules Verne, Nemo was said to be an Indian prince, but it is unclear how close to this book the new screenplay will follow.  Regardless, the film is sure to be filled with action and adventure.

Wallace, who has made a name for writing epic screenplays like ‘Braveheart’ and ‘Pearl Harbor,’ will be working on the screenplay previously worked through by Bill Marsili (’Deja Vu’) and Justin Marks (’Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li’).  Wallace has directed his own screenplays for ‘The Man in the Iron Mask’ and ‘We Were Soldiers.’  His direction will next be seen in ‘Secretariat,’ about the famed racehorse who won the Triple Crown in 1973.

‘Captain Nemo’ is set for release some time in 2011.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter

One of the great features over at the Internet Movie Database is the Bottom 100. Based on ratings viewers of the site give to various films, the worst of the worst films get put on this list. Some of them are on and off in a matter of days. Others stick around for the long haul, showing just how much suckage they truly emit.

It’s time to look at these movies and determine where they stand. Do they deserve to be on the Bottom 100 list? Are they not as bad as everyone says? Will they be off the list any time soon?

Here’s the breakdown for this week’s film:

Title: ‘Miss Cast Away’

Release Date: July 26th, 2005

Ranking on Bottom 100 (as of 7/7/2009): #84 (based on 1260 votes)

Why It’s Here: It actually means something, speaks volumes, in fact, when ones of these “Pop Culture” comedies, as they are called, doesn’t even go into theaters. Crap like ‘Epic Movie,’ ‘Disaster Movie,’ and ‘Dance Flick’ all got theatrical releases, so what’s the problem with something like ‘Miss Cast Away’? It certainly isn’t that it doesn’t spoof enough movies. Just about everything that’s crawled out of the Hollywood mainline in the past 20 years is hit upon in this film. Everything from ‘Jurassic Park’ to ‘Planet of the Apes’ (the remake) to ‘Austin Powers’ is spoofed in increasingly mind-numbing fashion. And it has Eric Roberts. And it has Michael Jackson. Yes, MICHAEL JACKSON! We’ll get to that eventually.

The premise, thin as it may be for all the pop culture references to string themselves along across, centers on a plane full of Miss Galaxy contestants (Miss Mexico, Miss Illinois, Miss Congenial, etc.). Them, along with the two pilots, played by Eric Roberts and Charlie Schlatter, crash land on a deserted island. On this deserted island is a giant dinosaur/pig called Jurassic Pork and Noah’s Ark, of all things. There’s a prophecy in there about Noah’s Ark creating the perfect storm and a group of Apes who have taken over the ship, but by the time that storyline reared its ugly head, interest in this piece of garbage was already way out the window.

You can’t blame ‘Miss Cast Away’ for being any worse than all the other pop culture comedies out there. It’s just as bad. Lines are reenacted from some classic films for no apparent reason other than for sheer familiarity. When the Austin Powers lookalike starts looking for his Mojo, you just know his dog, Mojo, is going to pop up at any second. You think the ghost of Elvis is going to say “Thank you. Thank you very much.”? Wow, you’re a genius. Much like all those other horrible comedies that we’ve been subject to over the past couple of years, ‘Miss Cast Away’ doesn’t even seem to be trying its hand at comedy.

There are a few instances here and there. The group of girls along with the suave pilot played by Roberts all decide to take up smoking in one scene, because they have no faith in being rescued. It’s a setup for a decent sight gag that could have and should have been run with throughout the rest of the film. It’s not. It’s dropped as quick as you can say “next scene.” At one point, Noah, played by the long-absent Stuart Pankin, is seen playing cards with one of the Apes. It’s a scene that is just nonsensical enough to be considered humorous, but all the while you’ll just be thinking to yourself, “I wonder whatever happened to Stuart Pankin.”

By the time Evan Marriott, Joe Millionaire himself, gets eaten by Jurassic Pork, you might be thinking it’s time to call it a day and shut this one off. However, this film has one more surprise up its sleeve.  This comes in the guise of Agent MJ, played by none other than the King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson.  Shockingly enough, ‘Miss Cast Away’ was selected for this column before the tragic news came about Michael Jackson’s passing.  Equally shocking is Jackson’s presence in this film altogether.  In an interview with writer/director Bryan Michael Stoller, it was revealed that he and Jackson were friends, and Jackson appeared in the film as a favor.  This is some favor.  Jackson’s performance is so uncomfortable to watch, as it is clearly obvious he doesn’t want to be there.  Of course, it does elicit a few laughs hearing Michael Jackson talking about Noah’s Ark and the impending storm.  Also, you can’t help but smile at Jackson saying “God bless” to Charlie Schlatter.  That’s just a sight I never thought I would see in all my life.

‘Miss Cast Away’ is an awful comedy loaded with pointless pop culture references and some of the absolutely worst computer effects ever put to film. The CGI here makes ‘Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus’ look like ‘Terminator 2.’  Yes, it deserves to be on the IMDB bottom 100, but so do most of the other pop culture comedies out there.  This isn’t the worst, but it’s pretty close.

Lowest of the Low Moments: As with most of the movies we’ve covered in this column, this is a difficult section to analyze.  There are so many bad moments in ‘Miss Cast Away,’ so many points where I wanted to turn the movie off and shotgun blast with rock salt my mind’s eye in hopes that I would forget I had ever seen it.  There is one scene, however, that I remember as being completely useless.  I didn’t even get the point of where the comedy was supposed to come from.  At one point, Charlie Schlatter, being the geekier of the two pilots, is up on a cliff looking towards the beach with binoculars.  He spots an overweight man laying on the beach.  Schlatter runs to him.  The man is seemingly dead, and Schlatter, for no apparent reason, begins stealing his shoes.  Schlatter has shoes.  I guess he just liked the overweight guy’s brand better.  Anyway, he gets one shoe off, and the overweight guy, who is clearly not dead, wakes up, stands up and leaves.  That’s it.  End of scene.  Was there a point?  I don’t know.  It’s early enough in the film that I hadn’t started doing other things yet, so it’s pretty clear in my mind.  It’s just pointless.  Much like the rest of the film only more so.

Will it Ever Get Off the List: We can pretty much put a stamp on all of the films that we cover in this column that reads “THIS FILM WILL GET OFF THE IMDB BOTTOM 100 IF, AND ONLY IF, IT EVER ACQUIRED CULT STATUS.”  It worked for ‘Best Worst Movie,’ and I’m sure it will work for so many others.  This one, I’m not so sure.  It is high up on the list, so there only have to be 16 more movies starring the Jonas Brothers to come out before it works its way off.  However, the film is bad enough, and, with the unfortunate passing of Michael Jackson, more people might be seeing it.  I’m sure none of them will be giving it any kind of favorable rating, either.  I think the chances of ‘Miss Cast Away’ getting off the IMDB bottom 100 are pretty slim.  If anything, it will only move down the list the more people that watch it.  Oh, well.  God bless, anyway.