(Disclosure) I’m not sure if that last one is still in the store. I might have bought it. Ahem.

Few stores pull me in like the Adopt Shoppe. I think it’s because I know I’m shopping really cute stuff for an amazing cause! Kate and her precious family are trying to bring their child home from Taiwan and your purchase helps!

So, shop for your naked wrists, shop for a great cause.

Today, one lucky reader will win $50 to this inspiring store. Tell me what you love in the comments to be entered.

Happy weekend!

Make Your Wrist Happy {Giveaway} is a post from: We are THAT Family

He rushed in from work, worn from a long 12 hour day. Kids met him at the door, one asking for help with math homework, the other for basketball pointers. Our youngest held onto his leg with a death grip. We quickly kissed and I worked to get dinner on the table, knowing we’d have to shorten our family devotion, so we could make it to community group on time.

Our eyes locked with a long glance over the math book , one that said, “I want to connect with you.”

We both knew we had Mercy House reports to finish once the kids were in bed.

It’s a typical day at our house.

There’s a lot of talking in our house, just not so much with each other or privately.

I think that’s why we both push everything aside to make date nights possible. But let’s face it, connecting once a month isn’t enough. We make a habit of taking time (sometimes it’s over the phone or under the covers in the middle of the night) to ask each other questions.

I’ve been married to this guy for 17 years. We renewed our wedding vows six years ago during this difficult season and exchanged these rings. His has a special inscription on it. I’ve always known it was important to him. The other day he took off his ring while working out and called me frantically because he couldn’t find it.

I asked him, “What would you do if you couldn’t find it?” He said that’s not an option. And then he said, “it’s the most important physical possession I own. It represents so much to me.”

I had no idea.

But discovering this small bit of information made me feel closer to him. I tucked it in my heart and I’ve thought about it more than once.

Marriage takes work and communication. If you don’t ask, they won’t tell you what’s happening in their heart.

P. S. I searched the house while he was at work and found the ring in his pocket. Sheer joy returning it to him.

• 50 Questions to Ask Your Spouse on a Date Night
• 50 Annual Questions to Ask Your Mate
• Ten Questions Every Woman Should Ask Her Husband
• 50 Questions to Ask Your Wife

I’m wrapping up this little marriage series–for now. Thanks for sharing your hearts and being committed to love your spouse better. 

_______________________________________________________

15 days of marriage in review:

I Respect Him, He Loves Me

{Dear Mr. Welch}: On Writing Love Letters

100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock (pinned over 20,000 times on Pinterest and brought a dose of controversy)

Old Married People

Fun Ways to Say I Love You

{Dear Mrs. Welch} What I Love About You

The Key to a Good Marriage {Free Printable} 

A Marriage Redeemed [Our Story]

Getting Along: Marriage

200+ Date Nights

Get to Know Your Spouse: Questions to Ask is a post from: We are THAT Family

We have at least one date night a month. But I’m pretty sure we have just about talked our dear friends into a second dating co-op, so two date nights a month (without paying a babysitter) is looking good.

What is a date night co-op you ask jealously? It’s just babysitting swapping with friends. You take a turn. They take a turn. It cuts down on costs and my big kids who don’t feel like they need a babysitter, but don’t really stay by themselves yet, can play or help our friends with younger kids.

There’s really no excuse not to have a regular date night with your spouse! No money? Can’t find a babysitter? Get creative with the following ideas:

• 50 Fun and Cheap Date Night Ideas
• 20 Pocket Change Date Night Ideas
• 33 {At Home} Date Night Ideas
• 101 Fun Date Day or Night Ideas
• 24 Frugal Date Night Ideas

WFMW: 200+ Date Night Ideas is a post from: We are THAT Family

But every once in awhile, there are *moments* when I don’t like him.

Yikes. Can I be that honest?

I’ve always said the line between crazy wild love and a crazy wild anger are close.

Here’s the deal: you are probably a robot if you get along with everyone living in your home 100% of the time. It’s just not possible to agree on everything, every day of the year.

But it’s how you get along that’s key.

I’ll give you a for instance: my youngest was playing with my phone a few months ago and accidentally (or either she’s got a wicked sense of humor and she’s just way more techy than me) changed my husband’s ringtone to the “Alien” ring, which sounds a lot like, um, aliens are invading.

The next time I was searching for my phone in my own house (a weekly occurrence) I asked my hubby to call it. When he heard his Alien ringtone, he was slightly offended. I quickly explained and we laughed about it, but I didn’t change my ringtone. What can I say? I’m a simple girl and it had a ring to it (drumbeat).

He casually asked me to change it. I told him no, and I might have said, “Baby, your out of this world.”

(I’m on a roll).

So, a couple of days later, he changed my ringtone to a song he thought was romantic. And I guess it was a little, except HE CHANGED MY RINGTONE. This irritated me. Why? Who knows. But I changed it back.

And we continued this ridiculous back and forth for awhile.

The point? I have no idea.

Oh yes, the point is we could have made this a huge battle. I believe when marriages end for “irreconciable differences” it’s often probably about ringtones. After 17 years of marriage, we are still learning to pick our battles and  not make everything a war.

The bottom line: we are in this for the long haul and getting along takes two. It really all goes back to forgiveness for the little stuff and the big. And usually when I’m irritated or angry at my husband, it’s an issue with me.  If I step back from the situation and look at the big picture, I know my husband loves me deeply and the little battles shouldn’t become wars.

P.S. His ringtone is now a motorcycle revving up. He will be so proud.

One little way I’ve tried to get along with my hubby in the every day stuff is by thanking him for the small things he does. I married a great guy and I tend to take him for granted. So, when he fills up my van with gas or brings me a sweet tea, I’m trying to show him my gratitude more.

I saw this on Pinterest and created my own variety. It’s next to our bed. It’s fun to wake up and see a little note to each other occasionally.

You can make one too!

You just need :

• pretty frame
• a piece of scrapbook paper
•  a dry erase pen (write on top of the glass and it just wipes right off!)
• velcro (optional) I attached velcro to my pen and to the back of the frame to keep up with the marker.

I created one for a lucky reader today. Just leave a tip for how you get along and I’ll draw a random comment and send you a romantic framed message board and pen.

Getting Along: Marriage {Giveaway} is a post from: We are THAT Family

Magical. It’s really the only word that described the week our family had just spent at Walt Disney World. It was one of those once-in-a-lifetime trips — the kind you dream, plan, and save for — and it had been a fairy tale.

We were on the long drive home to Texas, the kids asleep in the back of our van, still wearing their mouse ears. I was tired, too, but on a high that comes from making dreams come true. I didn’t know my “perfect world” was about to end.

My husband, Terrell, and I had been married for 10 years. We were good friends in Bible college, and our friendship was one of the best parts of our marriage. After many years of full-time ministry, we had recently settled into the new roles of salesman and homemaker. Life wasn’t perfect with two preschool-aged kids, but we were happy … happy and hiding a dark secret.

Terrell and I were talking on the drive home.  I don’t remember what led to his confession. It just happened. I remember thinking, This can’t be real. I must have misunderstood him. He’s telling me about a friend; this isn’t my best friend’s secret.

But it was: My hubby had just told me he was addicted to pornography. Just like that, the fairy tale ended.

I’ll never forget what I did next: I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into the back of our van where my children were sleeping. I crouched between their two car seats, pulled my knees up to my chin, and cried. I stayed back there for a long time, until I could finally make eye contact with the stranger in the rearview mirror.

This was the beginning of a dark and painful journey that would change my entire life. Perhaps it was my naivety about men and how they are created, or my ignorance about the vast world of lust and pornography, but Terrell’s confession hit me hard. Although I never once contemplated divorce, I did suggest living as roommates at opposite ends of the house.

We embarked on a long, gut-wrenching healing process. My search was for forgiveness. Terrell’s was for freedom. We went to a marriage counselor who deals with this specific issue. He dealt more with me than with my husband, by the way; the counselor was so proud of my husband for resisting and fighting against the deviant, sinful world for so many years and offered him simple tools to resist temptation. But I was scared. I didn’t know how to trust Terrell again. I was emotionally fragile and spent a lot of time blaming myself.  I wondered what I could have done differently.

Terrell and I dove deeply into recovery. It became our full-time job. We existed to overcome. I threw away every magazine and catalog in the house and installed securities on our computers and phones. We read books and online articles. We prayed, cried, begged, yelled, and tried to find each other again.

There were setbacks along the way for both of us. I was paranoid Terrell would be tempted. Terrell was tempted and paranoid to tell me. But we waged war against the enemy that tried to destroy us. Ultimately, we knew with God on our side, we would win.

In the midst of such devastation, something unbelievable began to happen just days after Terrell’s confession: With the secret exposed to the Light and focused attention on our relationship, we began to experience an intimacy that was previously unknown in our marriage. God birthed something new through our pain and began turning our ashes into beauty.

My husband learned to kill lust by starving his eyes. He refused to even glance at an image that was tempting, and in doing so, I became his only target — just the way God intends. My family (mostly unaware of our struggle at the time) mentioned on more than one occasion that we’d better be careful or we might end up with a third child.

We did — about a year after our Disney vacation. Her name is Grace because that’s what God gave us. We renewed our marriage vows and exchanged rings with a secret inscription that still fills my eyes with tears.

Forgiveness is a choice and one I made. It was instant, and it was gradual. It was easy, and it was hard. It was something I had to choose more than once. I’ve learned that forgiveness is a way of life. Trusting again is the challenge. And since husbands tend to be human, I knew Terrell would let me down at some point. The greatest lesson I learned is to put my trust in God, who has never disappointed me.

Six years later, I don’t think I fully grasp what it cost my husband to risk it all on that drive home. But he was tired of fighting, he wanted total freedom, and he was willing to lose everything — the wife he loves desperately and the kids he cherishes — to have it.

His Story:

I was 10 or 11 years old when the deep, sharp hooks first stuck in my soul. My innocence was gone, and a 25-year fight began: the battle between desiring God and satisfying the flesh. Like most young men, I was unequipped for a war like this. No one ever talked about lust and pornography, except to condemn it as sin.

I lived a vicious cycle of repentance and sin in isolation. I thought marriage would be the cure. It helped, but then Kristin and I purchased our first computer.

On that drive home from our dream vacation, I couldn’t take any more of my private nightmare. A week earlier, I had finished the book Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker (WaterBrook Press) and I wanted freedom. With every word I spoke,  I knew that I might lose my marriage and my kids. I was scared, but I had more to lose living a lie. True repentance is a 180-degree turning from sin toward God.

I wasn’t prepared for the damage or the pain my secret would cause our marriage, but God was ready. He graciously stood by us. My beautiful, innocent wife became Jesus with skin on and offered forgiveness. I dove into God’s Word. With each day, counseling session, accountability meeting, and late-night talk, our marriage began to heal. Sin cannot live in the light.

Six years later, I can declare that God is faithful. If you struggle with pornography and lust, let me encourage you: Don’t believe Satan’s lies. Lust is not a “problem.” It’s sin. God’s Word declares, “If we say, ‘We have no sin,’ we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:8-9). Freedom is available.

Reprinted from HomeLife, January 2012, 34. © 2012 LifeWay Christian Resources. Used by permission. Be sure to check out future articles from Kristen Welch in the February 2012, April 2012, and June 2012 issues.www.lifeway.com/homelife.

The Vintage Pearl has gift certificates for the perfect last minute Valentine’s Day gift. Just in case you’ve waited until the last minute. You know who you are.

A Marriage Redeemed [Our Story] is a post from: We are THAT Family

Dear 22 year old me,

You are about to get married. You don’t have a clue. He’s going to be your soul mate. He’s going to disappoint you. Ultimately, he’s going to teach you how to love.

There are going to be some bumps along the way . There will even be a mountain or two. You will survive. You don’t need more money or more stuff. You need to live every day without regret, love hard, risk more, laugh until it hurts and for pete’s sake, stop cutting your hair so short.

Most of all, be a forgiver.  Because you keep the Great Forgiver pretty busy.

Love,

39 year old me

It’s the best marriage advice I can offer-whether you’re just starting out in your marriage journey or you’ve grown old together: forgive as you’ve been forgiven.

You won’t regret it.

Enjoy this {free} 8×10 Print vdayprintable

The Key to a Good Marriage {Free Printable} is a post from: We are THAT Family

We are writing love letters to each other this month. He’s good with words, y’all. I cried a bucket when he read this to me, hot breath on my cheek:

Dear Kristen,

I have spoken about this many times and yet it resonates deeply in my soul.

What I love about you is that you are genuine and authentic. Seriously.  It may not be romantic, but you don’t have a high pitched, fake voice that you use when you run into a friend that you haven’t seen in a long time.

You don’t act one way in front of someone and then say malicious things about them when they are gone.

You are not perfect and you are not afraid to admit it.

You serve. You work. You love. You live. Authentic.  Real. True.

What I love about you is that you live your faith.  The good and the bad.  I have personally watched you take great risks in your faith over the past seventeen years.

I’ve seen you in the bath tub reading your Bible.

I’ve watched you go out of your way to minister to other women when I knew you didn’t have the time or energy.

I experienced the very thick, real, genuine love and forgiveness of Christ when I confessed my secret sin.

I’ve wept with you as you prayed over marriages of close friends that were crumbling.

I’ve watched you pick up a little girl, bring her to our home everyday after school and love on her because her now single mother has to work late to make ends meet.

What I love about you is that you serve selflessly.  Myself, our children, friends, Mercy House, Compassion, and our church.

But what I love the most about you is that you are mine.

Love, Mr. Welch

I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me. (Song of Solomon 7:10 ESV)

[Dear Mrs. Welch]: What I Love About You is a post from: We are THAT Family

Some fun links from around the web to spice up your marriage!

• Date of the Month Club
• Date Night in a Bag
• Coupon Book
• DIY 52 Reasons I Love You
• Read this book and implement
• Give a Marriage Survival Tool Kit
• DIY A Year of Date Nights
• Show them (and the world) they rock
• DIY Lovopoly Game
• Food from the Heart

Coming soon: 

That Works For Me: Tried and True Tips From Works From Me Wednesday

P.S. there were mixed comments on the picture or text linky. So, I think I’ll alternate, it’s a win-win.

WMFW: Fun Ways to Say I Love You is a post from: We are THAT Family

I remember when my parents were our age.

Forty-one. Thirty-nine.

I thought they were so old.

What did I know?

When my husband smiles, his eyes crinkle. I see his father.

I have my mother’s hands.

Both our parents inching towards their golden anniversary. Fifty years.

It’s a mantle we wear proudly.

He still closes the door behind me in the closet and kisses my neck.

But his socks are still on the floor.

I love that guy anyway.

He sips coffee, tea for me. We write love notes. We grow old together.

For the Mr & Mrs in  your life, DaySpring is giving away FIVE sets of the following to FIVE of my readers today:

[Each set includes: Mr. & Mrs. Mugs, Mr. & Mrs. Memo Pads, I Love You With All My Heart-Sticky Note Set, Mr. Love Notes]

Leave an answer to this question as your entry: How long have you been a Mr & Mrs? 

This giveaway will end on Thursday.

Old Married People {Giveaway} is a post from: We are THAT Family

1. Write him letters
2. Go on regular date nights
3. Write his name on lipstick on the bathroom mirror
4. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
5. Pray together
6. Hide notes in secret places
7. Go to bed at the same time
8. Listen to music together-share earbuds
9. Send him on a scavenger hunt in the house
10. Buy him gifts he will love
11. Hide a treat in his glovebox or desk at work
12. Read the Bible together
13. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
14. Praise your spouse to other people
15. Let them overhear you
16. Read a marriage devotional
17. Porn-proof your home
18. Be best friends
19. Sleep in his t-shirts
20. Look to him to make the big decisions (see comment section for my opinion on #20, #21)
21. Let her make the small ones
22. Don’t nag him
23. Put down the seat, pick up your socks for her
24. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
25. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
26. Fight naked
27. Tell him you like him
28. Receive his compliments
29. Pick your battles
30. Show her you love her and tell him you respect him
31. Go away together at least once a year
32. Frame your wedding vows
33. Her: Read For Women Only
34. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
35. Kiss in front of your kids
36. Make his favorite dessert
37. Have pictures of just the two of you made
38. Make sex a priority
39. Spend time apart occasionally
40. Learn to enjoy something he loves
41. Surprise each other
42. Meet him at the door
43. Dreamstorm
44. Text each other from across the room
45. Be accountable to each other
46. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
47. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate him
48. Be affectionate
49. Him: Read For Men Only
50. Leave work and come home early
51. Wash, vacuum her car. Keep it full of gas.
52. Give each other romantic coupons
53. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
54. Compliment each other
55. Touch your spouse several times throughout the day
56. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
57. Let each other sleep in
58. Be spontaneous!
59. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
60. Kiss every day
61. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
62. Forgive quickly
63. Be honest.
64. But not hurtful
65. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
66. Look your best as often as you can
67. Guard your marriage
68. Get out of debt (and stay out)
69. Laugh together
70. Have a date night in
71. When your together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
72. Talk about your favorite memories together
73. Tell him he’s sexy just because
74. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
75. Make him breakfast in bed
76. Do her chores for her
77. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
78. Read a book out loud together
79. Dance together-soft music (alone) or rocking music with the kids
80. Bring her/him a favorite drink during the middle of the day
81. Exercise together-hikes, bike riding, etc
82. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment
83. Tell him a secret he doesn’t know about you
84. Thank your spouse just because, often
85. Sit on the same side of a booth at a restaurant
86. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
87. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
88. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
89. Teach your kids about marriage
90. Stop what you’re doing, look them in the eye and listen to their answer
91. Create art together
92. Support each other’s goals
93. Know when to talk and when to hush
94. Consider counseling (even if there’s not conflict)
95. Doodle his name
96. Bring her flowers (even when she says they are too expensive)
97. Wear something he loves
98. Share furniture-sit in his lap
99. Fight for your marriage
100. Remember your spouse rocks-even when they don’t

Does your spouse rock?  Do you have the shirt to prove it? Get yours here.

100 Ways to Make Your Marriage Rock is a post from: We are THAT Family