Most men do not like shopping. If asked, they would rather have their eyes plucked out than step foot in a mall. Suddenly, they find the right woman and their whole world is turned upside down. Now, that man wants to propose  marriage to this woman and he knows that, before he does, he must first step foot in the mall.

Engagement ring shopping is tough for any one due to its enormous implications. This is a symbol of your love and your commitment to spending the rest of your life with another individual. It is the one piece of jewelry that a woman will typically wear for the rest of her life. With that in mind, its important to get the right engagement ring — one that symbolizes commitment and one that she loves and loves to show off.

Watch this clip from YouTube and learn some of the basics of shopping for an engagement ring.

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With respect to Halloween weddings there are several different avenues you could take but the main thing with the Halloween wedding is the idea of dressing up in costumes and doing something really fun and out of the ordinary.  My first thought for a Halloween wedding theme is an elegant Gothic Wedding which incorporates a semi spooky mood.

In creating an elegant, Gothic wedding one of the prevailing styles is to incorporate items that are vintage or have a Victorian look to them.  The way to immediately start creating the mood for your wedding is through the wedding invitations.  This is crucial and great pains should be taken to create the right mood especially for this type of wedding.  Having invitations with the Nightmare Before Christmas’s Jack and Sally would certainly convey a Halloween theme but it lacks in the elegance department.   I have seen several different types of invitations that were both elegant and conveyed the Halloween wedding theme.   One example would be a picture of a bride and groom embracing in a graveyard or have an invitation to a simple but elegant Victorian wrought iron design.  These styles would both describe the wedding as well as the elegance about the wedding.

To create the gothic ambiance in your setting, I recommend looking for a Victorian style Mansion or even a bed and breakfast that will allow weddings.  At night, these old buildings look like a haunted house which will fit into the semi spooky Gothic theme.

Our culture has loosened up on the rules of weddings which allow each couple to express themselves in ways that reflect their values and personalities.  With that in mind, think about having a black wedding.  This means that everyone from the bride to the groomsmen is dressed in black.  You could find an elegant, black, Victorian gown for the bride and the bridesmaids.  The groom and groomsmen could be dressed in very elegant black tuxedos with the tails.  If you are superstitious or completely turned off by the black for a wedding gown then a color alternative could be a red gown or a midnight blue gown.   If you like the thought of everyone but the bride in black then wearing a white or off white Victorian gown would not look as gothic but it would certainly look elegant.

With respect to the wedding flowers, my first choice would be black-red roses.  These are very dark red roses with a hint of black around the edges.  This dark look would greatly compliment the wedding theme.  Other wedding flowers to consider would be burgundy Celosia, black calla lilies, and dark red tulips.

While a fog machine would add ambiance, it will also add a musty odor that may have guests coughing.   So with that in mind, I would forgo to the fog.  However, for decorating ideas for the reception think of have black table cloths with dark, red overlays.  You could even do elegant red, velvet runners instead of the overlays for rectangular tables.

Wrought iron candelabras would make ideal centerpieces.  The wrought iron look has that old Victorian look that many typically find in haunted houses.  In fact, the more candles the merrier as it creates natural shadows which contributes to the spooky theme while adding soft romantic lighting.

Because everything has a dark look then your natural choice for a wedding cake would have to be something chocolate.  One idea is to have a white exterior cake decorated with spider webs and topped with a tombstone style figurine. Another idea is to have a white cake with some flowers placed on top.  While on the subject of chocolate, a fountain is a fun way to provide people with as many dark moments as possible.

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One of the great things about Halloween is dressing up in costumes.  It’s the one day of the year when you can be anything you want.  One year, you might have been feeling sweet like an angel or hateful like the devil.  So if you are thinking about having a Halloween wedding and don’t like the Gothic look then think about creating another type of theme where you can indulge in your fantasies but it’s not scary.  One example would be the Pirate wedding.

Since Pirates of the Caribbean skyrocketed to success, people have found renewed interest in pirates.  In fact, pirate themed parties are one of the most popular themes.  It is a fun way to tie in the spirit of dressing up for Halloween in a different way.

When creating a theme, you have got to start with the invitations. That is going to set the stage for what’s to come. The most popular invitation for this type of wedding is to create one that looks like a treasure map or at least is burned around the edges.  Take note that burning the edges is something that must be done individually and can take a long time especially if you have a lot to do.  Next, is the mailing of the invitation.  You could opt to mail the traditional way of using an envelope or you could try to stuff them into plastic bottles and mail them off.  The second way looks more authentic but the cost of postage is almost twice as much to send so you may be better off going the traditional route.

The setting of your wedding is important.  If at all possible, try to have it on a ship.  You could check out some Yacht companies for pricing.  If that doesn’t work then I have seen where the wedding is next to a body of water with some ships in the background to help create the ambiance.  If you are unfortunate and don’t live near water but are dying to have this type of wedding then you can peruse the party supply companies and order supplies to help you create the look. You can buy an 8′ ship, masts, and other items to help create the appropriate atmosphere anywhere.

These party supply stores also other decorating items.  For example, you can create treasure box centerpieces by buying the little treasure boxes and filling them with candy gold coins and plastic jewelry.  You could even create a treasure chest cake topper for your wedding cake.

For the entire bridal party’s attire, check out the costume stores for pirate costumes.  They have all different styles and prices depending upon the quality of the costume.  I would opt for the more expensive but much better quality.  Even though you are having a non traditional wedding you still want to look your best.

Also, when hiring your officiant, be sure to tell him/her your intentions for having a pirate themed wedding.  If your officiant will dress up as well your wedding will look that much more authentic.  Sometimes, guests will be reluctant to dress up.  You can coax even the most resistant members by having some hats, swords, eye patches, and shoulder parrots available at the ceremony for your guests use.

Finally, don’t forget your vows.  If you are going to go through the trouble to create a pirate wedding then you will at least want to sound like one.  Make sure you add plenty of pirate lingo.  There are some great websites devoted to pirate lingo to help you create vows that sound like you were sailing the seven seas.

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It is hard to believe that we are already into October.  It seems like this year is slipping by rapidly.  Now that we’ve made it, let’s start looking at the idea of having a Halloween Wedding. It is worth noting that some people are put off by a Halloween wedding because it tends to be dark and scary and there are always talk of Satanism and other dark ghostly images. So the question bears asking, is this an okay day to marry or are we doomed for a lifetime of misery?

The origin of Halloween can be traced back to an ancient Celtic Festival that celebrated November 1^st as the Celtic New Year. It was the end of the bright, long days of summer and the beginning of the dark, shorter, and much colder months of winter. It was on this day the boundaries between the living and the dead were said to be blurred. Meaning that on this day, the souls of the departed were able to walk among the living. In order to have a profitable spring, ancient Celts would create huge bonfires and sacrifice crops and animals. As Christianity developed in Ireland, Pope Boniface IV declared November 1^st as All Saints’ Day which is a day to honor all Saints and Martyrs. From these origins other cultures have adopted Halloween or October 31^st as the day to kicks off the Festival of the Dead. For three days, people celebrate and remember past members of families and other members of the community. In these traditions, people would sometimes set a place at the dinner table for their deceased members or place treats and candles along the side of the road to help their loved ones get back to the spirit world. It is from these somber times that traditions of Halloween have sprung to life.

With respect to ancient origins of Halloween, it must be noted that this is a day that many believe blends the living world with the spiritual world. It is a time for reflection and contemplation and this is not a Satanic or evil day. So if Halloween if your favorite holiday, don’t let nay Sayers talk you out of it. Own your day and create the wedding of your dreams!

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When I was a little girl, I often remember going to weddings and throwing rice at the bride and groom.  Now people do not seem to do that as much and I began to wonder about the significance of the rice and how the tradition began.  The custom of throwing rice began with the ancient Assyrians, Hebrews, and Egyptians as a symbol of fertility and good wishes in the marriage.

When I first started to inquire as to the reason why people don’t throw rice at weddings, I was told that scientists began to realize that the rice that is thrown is often left on the ground where birds would feed on it.  The birds’ digestive system could not digest the hard grains of rice and, in turn, the rice would swell within the bellies of the birds causing them to explode.

As it turns out, this is not true at all.  The real reason besides the mess that it makes is that rice left on a floor can become slippery; therefore, making the wedding venue an opportunity for an accident.  To prevent people from slipping on rice, many wedding venues started making it a policy to prohibit the throwing of rice.

Today, you can still partake in the tradition but have your guests throw something safer like bird seed, confetti, or rose petals.   Check with your venue because these items still create a mess and some places don’t want to put up with that.  A great, mess free alternative is to have bubbles.  It has the effect of throwing good wishes toward the bride and groom.  So don’t feel as though you have to give up your favorite traditions but it also may be better to be safe than sorry.

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Today, I read that the average cost of a wedding is about $29,000.  I don’t know about you, but $29,000 is a lot of money for just one day.  However, weddings aren’t just any other day and most people don’t mind spending some money when it comes to a wedding.

In today’s world, paying for a wedding may be based on who can afford it.  There are no steadfast rules that say a parent is responsible for footing a $30,000 wedding, especially if they can only afford a $15,000 wedding.  Today, paying for a wedding is more like a joint venture.  Parents tend to pitch in as much as they can but couples, who are often established in their own careers, are also pitching in to help defray costs.

The following is a general list describing the traditional break down of paying for a wedding.  I have found identical information from a variety of sources from Sharon Naylor’s wedding planning books to a variety of website.  However, this is from the Wedding Help Line:

Bride

• Wedding ring for the groom
• Wedding gift for the groom
• Presents for the bridal attendants, and flower girl(s)
• Personal stationery
• Bridesmaids’ luncheon (also includes Maid/Matron of Honour, Flower Girl and Guest Book Attendant)
• Accommodations for out-of-town bridal attendants
• Physical examination/blood test (if necessary

Groom

• The bride’s ring(s)
• Wedding gift for the bride
• Marriage license
• Gifts for the groom attendants (best man, groomsmen, ushers, and ring bearer)
• Wedding attire
• Flowers: bride’s bouquet and going-away corsage, corsages for mothers, boutonnieres for the groom attendants
• Accommodations for out-of-town groom attendants
• Physical exam/blood test (if necessary)
• Gloves, ties or ascots for groom attendants
• Fee for the clergy
• The honeymoon
• Optional: Casual get-together for groom attendants (if no bachelor party)

Bride’s Family

• Wedding attire
• Reception: food, beverages, wedding cake, gratuities for the bartenders and waiters, decorations, music, flowers, etc.
• Wedding gift for the newlyweds
• Wedding invitations, announcements, calligraphy, and mailing costs
• Bride’s wedding attire/trousseau
• Engagement and wedding photography and videography
• Ceremony: rental of location, fees for organist, soloist or choir, and sexton, aisle carpet and/or canopy and any other additional costs for flowers and decorations
• Personal flowers for attendants, Guest Book attendant, grandparents, etc.
• Fees for directing traffic as well as parking costs and coat-check fees
• Favors and Accessories
• Transportation for bridal party to the wedding ceremony and from ceremony to reception
• Wedding Consultant fee
• Optional: rehearsal dinner, if the parents of the Groom are not hosting one

Groom’s Family

• Wedding attire (Father of the Groom should match Father of the Bride)
• Travel and lodging expenses
• Wedding gift for bride and groom
• Rehearsal dinner and/or other wedding expenses they elect to assume

The Wedding Party

• Wedding attire
• Travel expenses
• Wedding gift for the couple

Guests

• Travel and lodging expenses
• Wedding gift for the couple

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When starting a business, most people start with a plan and progressively work to accomplish the goals of the plan.  Likewise, when entering into a marriage, a couple should also have a plan in place to help them navigate through the waters called marriage.

Now that you are in the midst of planning your wedding, this is a perfect time to talk about premarital counseling.  In several states, if a couple has proof that they have taken and participated in a premarital counseling class, they will receive a discount on the cost of a marriage license.  The obvious idea behind this is to help couples so they do not become one of the many statistics of divorce.

Most couples enter into marriage with open, eager eyes.  They truly believe that they have found their one and only.  However, we also know that life happens and sometimes couples find themselves drifting farther away from each other.  The main reasons often cited for divorce are: infidelity, abuse, financial problems, boredom, and communication breakdown.

Premarital counseling is designed to be sort of like an insurance policy and equip couples with the skills necessary to create a life together.  Although there is no set course for premarital counseling some of the main topics include:  compatibility, communication, expectations, long term goals, and conflict resolution.

Typical ways to measure these areas is to begin by taking an Asset inventory.  This will help ascertain a couple’s compatibility, strengths, and weaknesses.   Based on these results, a couple will gain more insight into themselves as well as their partner.  They will learn vital communication strategies as well as strategies for dealing with conflicts.

While premarital counseling is not a prerequisite to marriage, it is something that all couples should think about taking.  It could help make all the difference in your life.

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