Weggis

Copenhagen v. Me

2009-12-13T16:02:00.004Z

Regular readers of this blog will know that I have more than a passing interest in Football. I rarely miss it on the TV. Some games are more delightful than others. Brazil v. Argentina or Manchester United v. Liverpool for example. These are the games where I am a neutral and I can sit back, relax and enjoy the football and the theatricals. Even when I have an emotional attachment, like with Spurs and England I can still, most of the time, watch with pleasure. I have been disappointed far too often in the past – I know what to expect so my expectations are not high. But there are some games that I just cannot bear to watch. You just know what’s going to happen. They are just far too tense and too much of a strain on the old ticker. I’m talking the inevitable penalty shoot out involving England and the World Cup.

So it is that I have been studiously avoiding the Copenhagen summit. I just can’t bear to watch, I just know what’s going to happen, and I'm afraid my ticker won’t take it.

Will somebody please let me know when the game is over and the result. But do break it to me gently please.

Cleaned Out

2009-11-29T21:24:00.003Z

Today [Sunday] I have been to Newham General Hospital to visit the 85 year old mother of a life long friend of Mrs Weggis. She had fallen and broken her leg. The thing that struck me the most is this: normally the girls would be having a good old natter and I’d be outside having a smoke and listening to Arsenal v. Chelsea on the car radio.

Not today. It was me chatting to Violet about her Jitterbugging days. Mrs Weggis and her mate were doing a very passable impression of Kim and Aggie. In fact, I was wondering whether I should be wearing a HazChem suit. I think that between them they will have cleared the drains.

That’s where 12 years of NuLab have got us.

How the NHS should clean up its act

Oh Deer!

2009-11-27T23:23:00.005Z

A couple of weeks ago I was driving home late at night through the foresty bit of the Weald. It had been a blustery day so I was not going fast, aware that there might be some debris on the road – like a bloody great tree.

A fallow deer crossed the road from left to right some way ahead, so I slowed down so that Mrs Weggis could go Ahhhhhh! Then the thing spooked and ran straight into the front of the car – thump. I didn’t see where it went. It wasn’t there when I got out of the car so it must have legged it back into the woods, stunned, bruised but still alive. Thoughts of venison for Christmas dinner receded. The thing is that it triggered the air bags, not to explode full on, but the warning light was on and it needed resetting. I needed a new loom, whatever that is, and it cost me nearly £200.

Which brings me to today – Mrs Weggis has been Christmas shopping with our daughter, daughter-in-law and granddaughter. They went to see Santa and in the process buy some more sparkly stuff for Christmas. We’ve given up buying presents but Mrs Weggis just loves all the lights and stuff. This is one of the things she bought.
It’s a Deer. It lights up and it’s got a motor in it so the neck moves from side to side and head moves up and down which I suppose does trigger memories of Meccano. She also bought a new Christmas tree so she can put the old one out front and put fairy lights on it. And she wonders why I drink! Oh, and this is what she bought me.

Conversations

2009-11-08T21:40:00.002Z

Mrs Weggis from downstairs: What do you want in your roll?

Me from upstairs: Cheese and onion.

Mrs Weggis: I’ve got one slice of ham left, can’t you use it up?

Me from upstairs: OK I’ll have ham and tomato.

5 minutes later I’m eating a cheese and tomato roll.

Me: this ham and onion is really nice.

Mrs Weggis: I knew you’d like it.

Later that same day.

Mrs Weggis: there’s another bloody spider in the kitchen, why do they always go right up into the corner?

Me: It’s natural selection, you catch the ones that haven’t learnt to go right up into the corner and sling them outside.

Mrs Weggis: oh! So it’s my fault!

Me: I’ll get the ladders.

A Picture Paints..

2009-10-30T17:40:00.004Z

..a thousand words. But can be interpreted in different ways.

Photo from Third Estate. It didn't look very peaceful to me! But Third Estate seems to think that is a good thing.....

This picture shows a number of things, the least important of which is that I’m getting a bit old for this sort of thing. It shows students from Essex University, of a range of ages and from diverse backgrounds, united in their rage [my emphasis] at what is happening in Afghanistan.

I do not like war, but I'm not going to get angry and go to war over it!

Beat This!

2009-10-25T14:51:00.003Z

Mrs Weggis throws down the Gauntlet to her daughter-in-law.

R U A Nerd?

2009-10-24T13:29:00.002+01:00

I picked up this Nerd Venn Diagram [below] from a blog entitled Vagina Dentata, written by a woman who claims to be a feminist with a sense of humour. That’s the sort I like, but I must admit that I have not encountered that many of them. Maybe it’s the circles I move in? I must get out more and investigate. Anyway, I found the diagram highly enlightening. Most of those terms seem to be used interchangeably in everyday language but now I am equipped I can label all of my friends and those who are not with the correct stereotype.

That blog is also about science. The slide show on that same post highlights the "actual" overlapping normal distribution graphs between the sexes. Something I think I have alluded to in earlier posts here but I can’t be bothered to go and find it. Do have a look at that slide show – it’s good stuff.

Movember

2009-10-24T13:18:00.002+01:00

Miss Weggis, who works in the National Health Service, has persuaded her elder brother, Master Weggis, to grow a sponsored moustache in aid of Men’s health and specifically prostate cancer. The first shoots of stubble will appear on Movember 1st and blossom into a fully thatched upper lip at the end of the month.

Master Weggis has taken the idea to his workplace and all the boys are now signed up. But there’s a problem. The ladies feel a bit left out, so they have decided to do something in Fanuary!!! Quite what is unclear but I’m not sure I really want to know.

Liquid Measures

2009-10-02T22:11:00.003+01:00

Earlier this week I was in the Gunmakers [what a surprise] with my friends from Afasic when Sue [bloody ManU supporter] was telling us about new government regulations to allow pubs to serve beer in two-thirds of a pint glasses. Wimps! This got me thinking. What business is it of government to tell suppliers or consumers what quantities they can sell or buy a product in? They don’t stipulate that you can only buy bananas in fives, and you can ask your butcher for 13 ounces of mince if you want. I can even buy one inch and a half 8 at my local hardware shop if I want to, not that I would. Anyway much more important things afoot.

Have you noticed how the modern plastic 2 pint milk bottles take up just about the same amount of room in the fridge as the old fashioned 1 pint glass bottles? It’s because they are square in shape and the fabric of the container is thinner.

Now, this is the important bit. If the breweries started selling beer in those 2 pint plastic bottles instead of cans and glass bottles I could double the capacity of my beer fridge in the garage. It would also reduce by 50% the number of times I have to drive to the supermarket to stock up and the number of times I have to turn the garage light on to get a drink. It’s got to be good for the planet, isn’t it?

Copenhagen

2009-09-18T21:12:00.002+01:00

I’ve just had an email from Avaaz urging me to support a campaign to get our Prime Minister to attend the Copenhagen summit. Earlier I’d spotted a Tweet from Jim Jepps urging the same at which my left eyebrow began to twitch alarmingly.

Now, I don’t wish to appear negative on this rather important and life threatening subject, but frankly I’d rather he didn’t attend. I think we have a far better chance of a positive result, and survival, if he’s not there.

The thing is that our PM is a bit of a jinx. Every time he turns up to watch an England football match we lose. It even works for the Scotland team FCS. He turns up to visit a state of the art factory, it’s closed a month later.

This is the man who has brought our economy and our country to its knees.

Just Google "Gordon Brown" Jinx or "Gordon Brown" Curse. It’s all there.

But what is even more worrying is that his likely successor is just beginning to show the same symptoms. It’s early days yet but those "hand gestures" are worrying me.

The Damson Tree

2009-09-04T17:06:00.002+01:00

I have lived in this ‘ere house for 25 years and this is the first year that the Damson tree in the garden has borne fruit. It’s Global Warming I tell you! Mrs Weggis was out there earlier harvesting them, and as I’m on the dreaded anti-biotics and can’t drink beer, I am sitting here eating them. If I turn into a Smurf you will know why!

Hove

2009-08-29T15:01:00.001+01:00

Organisers discover reason for low attendance at Conference.

Red = Danger

2009-08-27T22:54:00.002+01:00

Interesting piece on New Scientist about how colour can affect our behaviour, and particularly the colour red. It is though contextual. In competitive situations, wearing the colour red gives an advantage, so now we know why Manchester United get all those dodgy penalties awarded in their favour. However, in romantic situations red acts as an attractor.

What they haven’t investigated and what I would find very interesting indeed, is the effect that Political Party colours have on behaviour and particularly voting behaviour, or the reaction of those answering the door to a political canvasser's rosette.

Note: I’ve got red hair, so don’t upset me. And it would appear that the romantic attractor bit only works for women.

It just gets better…

2009-08-23T18:12:00.001+01:00

England have just won the Ashes and Spurs are 9 points clear of the relegation zone.

It’s all down to what is known as a "good dressing room". Like the players actually get on with each other, support each other and play like a team focussed on the common objective.

Here endeth this Sunday’s lesson.

Weggis in Wonderland

2009-08-23T13:54:00.004+01:00

The top green blogs as voted for in the Total Politics annual poll have been announced and Weggis is in there at number 19. WTF? Have you peeps got me confused with someone else, like number 5? Considering the small amount of traffic I get here as compared to the blogs further up the list has truly got me wondering. Anyway congratulations to one and all, and commiserations to those who didn’t make it.

Special mention for Molly at Gaian Economics who really ought to be on this list. And a sigh at the absence of Dorothea from blogworld.

1 )1) The Daily (Maybe) **
2 (2) Two Doctors **
3 (9) Peter Cranie
4 (3) Another Green World **
5 (10) Barkingside 21 **
6 (7) Philobiblon **
7 (6) Green Ladywell **
8 (18) Rupert Read **
9 (16) Ruscombe Green **
10 Green Reading **
11 Mabinogogiblog **
12 Anglo-Buddhist Combine *
13 Joseph Healy for Vauxhall
14 Bloggy Blanc
15 Caroline Lucas MEP
16 East is Green
17 Green Construction UK
18 Stuart's Big Green Spot *
19 Weggis
20 Whirled Peas
21 (5) George Monbiot
22 Green Left
23 (13) Greenman's Occasional Organ
24 Croydon Greens
25 Greenpeace

This list is the result of more than 1,500 people who voted in the Total Politics Annual Blog Poll during the second half of July.

Click on the blog to visit it. For a full list of all 110 Green political blogs click HERE.

** Blogs with links on my side bar

* Blogs I have just added to my side bar

Judith

2009-08-13T23:16:00.002+01:00

--------[Meanwhile, back at the HQ.]

Reg: Right, now, eh. item four: attainment of world supremacy within the next five years. Eh, Francis, you've been doing some work on this.

Francis: Yeah, thank you, Reg. Well, quite frankly, siblings, I think five years is optimistic, unless we can smash the Roman empire within the next twelve months.

Reg: Twelve months?

Francis: Yeah. Twelve months. And let's face it... as empires go, this is the big one, so we've got to get up of our arses, and stop just talking about it.

PFJ: Hear Hear!!!

Loretta: I agree. It's action that counts, not words, and we need action now.

PFJ: Hear Hear!!!

Reg: You're right. We could sit around here all day talking, passing resolutions, making clever speeches, it's not going to shift one Roman soldier.

Francis: So let's just stop gabbing on about it, it's completely pointless, and it's getting us nowhere.

PFJ: Right.

Loretta: I agree. This is a complete waste of time.

--------[Judith runs in, panicked.]

Judith: They've arrested Brian!!

PFJ: What?

Judith: They've dragged him off. They're going to crucify him.

Reg: Right. This calls for immediate discussion.

Judith: What?!?

Rebel1: Immediate.

Rebel2: Right.

Loretta: New motion?

Reg: Completely new motion. Eh, That, ah. That there be, ah, immediate action,

Francis: ... ah, once the vote has been taken.

Reg: Well, obviously once the vote has been taken, you can't act on a resolution 'till you've voted on it.

Judith: Reg, for God's sake, let's go now, please!

Reg: Yeah, yeah. Right, right. In the, in the light of fresh information from ah, sibling Judith.

Loretta: [Who's taking notes.] Ah, not so fast, Reg.

Judith: Reg, For God's sake. It's perfectly simple. All you've got to do is to go out of that door now, and try to stop the Romans nailing him up. It's happening, Reg. Something's actually happening, Reg. Can't you understand? Aaawoooooo!!!!!
[She rushes out in a rage.]

Francis: Ooh. Ooh dear.

Reg: Hello... and a little ego-trip for the feminists.

Loretta: What?

Reg: Ah, oh, sorry, Loretta. Aah. Aah, read that back, would you?

Note: if you know [or can guess] why I have posted the above script of Monty Python’s Life of Brian at this particular point in time then please reflect, coz right now I'm feeling a bit like Judith. If not, don’t ask.

Caption Competition II

2009-07-29T17:50:00.003+01:00

Tajinder was not impressed........

Caption Competition

2009-07-29T17:35:00.003+01:00

The new tit tax ………..

The World’s End

2009-07-23T16:56:00.005+01:00

Don’t panic, it’s a pub. Where else would you think I’d be.

Mrs W and I like walking, and pub lunches. But some while back her feet started playing up [arthritis] and the walks got shorter and slower, and then stopped. So, I haven’t been pounding the Public Footpaths for a while. But a couple of Sunday’s ago I was back in my walking boots. I dropped off Mrs W at her mates in East Tilbury – they were going to some garden thing in Orsett.

So while they were off, I walked from Coal House Fort to Tilbury Fort along the north bank of the Thames, I wanted to see the BNP’s gun emplacements. It was a nice sunny day and not having Mrs W with me to fuss I forgot to put the sun block on and got well and truly sun burnt where I don’t have any hair anymore. It took and hour and 10 minutes so it is around 3-4 miles.

Coal House Fort itself is a really pleasant family spot. Lots of families there having picnics and playing cricket, and a really nice children’s playground. Once past there I was pretty much on my own. Except for the steady stream of container ships overtaking me on their way to Tilbury Docks bringing lots of stuff for the shopaholics regular fix.

The tarmac path gave way to a rough track and then moved inland a bit. Here a stretch of bank about 30 feet wide had been cleared of vegetation by some sort of mechanical bulldozer. It looked like a ploughed field, except there were about a dozen human heads peeking above ground level at various intervals. They were all digging holes – big deep ones. I had to ask. They were looking for bottles. Ah well.

The path then dropped back down to the river with a huge concrete wall to my right and every so often there was a ladder. I popped my head over the wall from time to time so see what was there – a flood plain. Sort of makes sense that doesn't it? Along this stretch there was lots of flotsum and jetsum including millions of little straws about 3 inches long and either white or blue. At first I though it was stripped wiring insulation but no, they were the middle sections of Q-Tips or cotton buds. The two cotton bits had presumably disintegrated. A most inappropriate use of plastic I’d say.

Past what is presumably a power plant and a sewage works and I get to Tilbury Fort and sure enough the BNP are ready. I didn’t stop there, I was straight on to The World’s End for two pints of Abbotts and an environmentally friendly Tuna Baguette. It must be the most blatantly sexist pub I have ever been to. The sign on entry was "no shirt no beer". There was no requirement for "no blouse no gin" not that anyone seemed to be taking advantage.

I had a snooze in the Fort and took a photograph just outside the main gate to illustrate just how high the flood defence wall is above ground level.

On the way back I spotted a really good piece of Reuse, and old railway rail being used as a fence post, and the holes had been partially filled. I didn’t check to see if they had collapsed with someone still in it.

Photos:

The World's End Pub
No Shirt No Beer

Stuff arriving.

Sewage and Power

Reuse.

Infilled hole.

The BNP are prepared.

The flood defence wall.

The Ugly Duckling..

2009-07-21T17:21:00.002+01:00

.. of British Industry may not get the chance to blossom into a Swan.

Vestas make exceedingly good wind turbines.

Write/email to Mr Mandelson and Mr Miliband now!
　
Bristling Badger has the deal here.

Decisions, Decisions

2009-07-19T19:38:00.002+01:00

Well, I really do want to vote in this but I’m having trouble in getting my shortlist down to 10, let alone putting them in order. There are so many good blogs out there. You may think it’s easy given the list in the side bar, but that’s just me being lazy. “A selection of Greens” [Green Feed] has a whole bunch of good blogs and there are more on my feed list that I just can’t be bothered to put in the links section. There are also a couple over there that are not really eligible, they have to be based on UK politics, not South American or Ireland, Derek.

I need some help, or to be more precise some form of financial inducement, to assist me in making up my mind. IOU a pint, preferably plural, is acceptable.

This is an open auction, bids in the comments please. But I reserve the right to respond to private offers via email.

Five Word Meme

2009-07-16T21:41:00.001+01:00

Jim has given me five words that remind him of me. The point of this meme is to take the five words and “waffle” about what they mean to me. Jim gave me Community, Green, Blogging, Ale and Humour.

Community

To me community is all about communication. A community is a group of people who communicate with each other. It doesn’t have to be in one physical location, although that is how it developed. Whilst there are millions of bloggers there are a few other bloggers with whom I consider myself to be one of the gang, a community. Those are the ones I talk to, and who talk to me. Same with work. The one’s you go to the pub with. Then there’s football, yer mates you go to the match with and talk bollocks with in the pub afterwards.

But let’s get back to what most people think of as community, their physical locality or neighbourhood. It is strange that people whose next door neighbour is 200 miles down the road are much more open and friendly than those living in a row of Terraces. If you are out walking in the countryside it is common to say hello to strangers you meet. But not in the High Street. Why is that? Towns and villages where the population are/were dependent upon the local Mill or Pit for employment were quite strong communities. Even in the early days of big Cities there were local communities. But it’s changed and what has changed it is the motor car. You go out of your front door, get in your car and drive to where you want to be. Nobody walks anymore. So you don’t meet your neighbours. To a limited extent this is overcome by mums at the school gate and the children making friends at school.

But when we are focussed on paying off the mortgage and bringing up the kids, and spend hours per day commuting [another community word] whilst ignoring everyone, there is little time or energy left to explore the wonders of community. Until you retire. Then you become part of the retired mate’s favours community. The plumber, the electrician, the decorator, the carpenter, the tailor, the seamstress, the cook…..

Green

Is a choice. Do you want to be the type of parasite that kills its host and therefore yourself, or the type that lives in harmony with its host – symbiosis? This planet has, from time to time, had a good old scratch and got rid of the irritating itch it was getting from its “inhabitants”. We call these scratches “major extinction events”. Frankly we’ve been taking the piss lately and we need to wise up pronto. All the waffle about green left, eco-socialism and the like is just distraction bollocks. Green is survival – period.
It is also the colour of a football pitch.

Blogging

Is the equivalent of shouting at the television or radio. Except, if you are lucky a few people get to know what you are shouting about and why. It is also a method of instilling some discipline. You have to think carefully about what you write, because others are going to criticise. Frustrating when you can’t just get the words right, or you start arguing with yourself, and the word file remains unposted. I’ve got loads of those. It’s also about engagement with a community and can be very, very rewarding when you meet someone you don’t know and they mention that they read it, without knowing it’s you.

Ale

Yummy! I drink beer, me. Lots of it. But not just any old beer. It’s good old fashioned British Bitter for me. None of that foreign rubbish Lager stuff. And the nearer the brewery is to where I live the better. London Pride, Shepherd Neame, Greene King Abbotts, Marstons Pedigree, Ruddles County, Old Speckled Hen…… but I have been known to occasionally take a pint of Newcastle Brown Ale or Guinness when I’m hungry. It’s my contribution to the local economy and the local council’s recycling targets. And I haven’t bothered with one of those fancy can crushers. I’ve got a block of 3x2 and a 10lb Punner in the garage. That’s really fun on the day before kerbside collection. It’s also exercise. It’s important to get exercise when you drink as much as I do. Walking seems to do it quite nicely, because you can plan your walks around pub locations. Of course it will probably kill me in the end, but I’ve instructed my children to stand well clear if they decide to have me cremated.

Humour

There are those times when someone doesn’t get the joke. That’s OK, we all do it. What really gets on my tits are those people who have had a humour by-pass operation or are genetically programmed not to laugh – like the Germans. Believe me it’s true. I’ve got a German Aunt and I know her family. They were over here for the World Cup in ’66 and boy they didn’t get the joke big time. Humour is a safety valve. It is an essential element of psychological, emotional and physical well being. Those people who take themselves way too seriously are in serious danger of their heads exploding and we don’t want that do we, it’s messy for the rest of us. Oh, and those people who don’t like humour about “minorities”, you know the Politically Correct brigade who get squeaky bums within 100 yards of an Irish Joke; and for the benefit of Derek I don’t mean the Irish Green Party, so I don’t.

Laugh Long and Prosper in a Green Community Pub with WiFi access.

Dear Boris

2009-07-15T19:56:00.002+01:00

I believe you are the Chairman of the Metropolitan police Authority.

"Paradoxically, it is often actions such as kettling that lead to violence breaking out. Often, the best thing authorities can do is leave a crowd to its own devices."

New Scientist: Why crowds are best left to their own devices.

Please read, digest and act.

Yours
Weggis

CC Jenny Jones

Vacancy

2009-07-04T22:17:00.003+01:00

Leyton & Wanstead MP, Harry Cohen, is to stand down at the next General Election. He wishes to spend more time with his family rather than filling out expenses forms. Applications should be submitted on a ballot paper to the electorate of the constituency.

Local Labour activists have denied that they are to re-brand their Party from NuLab to NoLab. While the Liberal Democrats are using the voting statistics from East Grimshaw [I don’t know where it is either] to show that "only they can win here", complete with [non-aspect ratio] bar chart.

Meanwhile, the Greens are lurking in the background planning a surprise offensive – putting forward sensible policies with a sensible candidate.

That's them fucked - Tory gain!

Dear Mr Brown

2009-06-30T14:58:00.002+01:00

I have received in the last few days an application form for the "Winter Fuel Payment".

Now, I don’t wish to appear ungrateful, but recognising your desire to remain in your current job and your record of bribing the electorate to vote for you, I wish to make a suggestion.

What I really need is a:

SUMMER AIR CONDITIONING PAYMENT.

I feel this would fit neatly into your current policy portfolio of doing fuck all about Global Warming.

Your sincerely
Weggis