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War room

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 03:17:00 +0000

Currently listening:

Watched a powerful movie during prayer meeting in church, as pastor shared several valuable lessons gained (plot summary can be found here):
1. Do not be distracted or deceived by what we see or how we feel, until we forget who the real enemy is. No one is our enemy, not the other person, only the devil is - stealing your joy, killing your faith, destroying your family (John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.).

2. Keep away from distraction, focus on God - set apart time rather than rush through. Listen to Him, acknowledge that we need Him and allow Him to take over the situation. James 4:7 - Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. When Elizabeth opened up about her marital problems, Miss Clara replied, “Can I ask you how much you pray for your husband?” She went on to explain, “You’re fighting the wrong enemy. It’s not your job to fix your husband — you need to plead with God so He can do what only He can do, then get out of the way.”Put ourselves under God's authority and rest assured that His presence goes with us.

3. Respond to the touch and call which God puts into your heart. He will not force us to respond, but the price of not obeying is great. At times, it is due to ourselves finding it hard to lay down. Miss Clara shared with Elizabeth that she never got the chance to reconcile with her husband, refusing to pray for him because she was so stubborn, bitter and prideful. She didn’t learn her lesson until after he died from a sudden heart attack.

Blessings by God's grace this CNY season

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 25 Feb 2016 16:45:00 +0000

Currently listening: Planetshakers - Leave me astounded

Reflecting upon my past few weeks of the CNY festive period, I guess there are things which I can do better, as well as to give thanks for. Need to continue to pray for relationships between relatives to improve, since conflicts still occur in spite of it being the season to come together as a family regardless of our differences.

Give thanks to God for His hand of protection. My shepherd and I were on the way to LG, and it was quite a drive downtown to JB with the heavy downpour. There was a time when I had to hit the brakes to slow down, as a car in front of me spun and lost control. Suddenly we heard a loud crash, not knowing where it came from. Looking at my rearview mirror, I managed to catch a glimpse of a car hitting the divider and bouncing just right behind us. Fortunately, it did not hit the back of my car. Phew! That was a close call..

Before CNY, I was handed a letter by my department's PA - apparently I was one of those selected to receive an award for excellent performance at work in 2015. It came as an unexpected blessing, as I reflected upon the past year - indeed there were probably others who were better than me (honestly I'm not a very smart person, I do get my fair share of rebuke for mistakes made). Nevertheless, it was something I was grateful for.

Last but not least, I finally sat for the MCQ for my postgrad primary exam. I was not expecting to pass, since:
1. I only started preparing 1 month prior to the exams (paid my fees in December, exam in January), whereas I knew of people who prepared 3-6 months in advance (recommended thing to do) for their MRCP / MRCS.
2. I did not take any study leave. I have friends who did in order to prepare for MRCP etc, grabbing some time out and going back to their hometown in the process. I have nothing against study leaves, but personally I believe my leaves can be better spent elsewhere for ministry needs and camps. But that also meant that on top of long days at work and serving in church, it's down to burning the midnight oil until the wee hours of the morning. There were times when I actually ask myself, "Am I going to make it? There's so much stuff to study for anaesthesia compared to other specialties - pharmacology, physiology, physics (yes, physics), anatomy, statistics, clinical medicine.. felt like wana die already."
3. The questions were quite difficult - pretty much what I expected through doing revision MCQs. But I sat for it anyway, consoling myself that whatever the outcome, it was for the experience.
I guess God was gracious because when the results were released, I passed! Somehow it was nothing short of a miracle. All glory to Him :)

Angpau Service Production

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sun, 21 Feb 2016 13:59:00 +0000

From Lion King to the King of Kings

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Fri, 19 Feb 2016 10:56:00 +0000

An inspiring video we watched during Student LG last year, life testimony of a life surrendered to God.

Happy CNY

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sat, 13 Feb 2016 15:30:00 +0000

Let's move forward and believe that it will be a great year ahead, filled with moments of breakthroughs and experiencing God more.

A new dawn

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 15:38:00 +0000

Throwback #EUREKA2016 #BrogaHill

Pride

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:47:00 +0000

Give us Vision

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 05:24:00 +0000

Eureka Camp Part 2 - Team spirit / godly unity

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 28 Jan 2016 18:03:00 +0000

After a day of physical activities, came the movie night session. We watched the movie 'Gridiron Gang', which documented the efforts of a prison warden to transform the lives of juvenile inmates through football, in an attempt to keep them off the streets.
Personally, was deeply moved and inspired by the coach's courage and attempt to start something which he sees value in, despite not knowing what the eventual outcome will be.

The next day's sharing served as a reminder of the higher purpose to which God has called us.
1. True unity is moving together in God's common goal

1.1 Be inspired and personalise God's vision
Initially, the prison gang inmates got involved in the programme because of Coach Porter's initial efforts in inspiring and casting the vision of the football team. In the same way, what were Jesus' last words before He ascended to heaven? "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Who is the coach who continues to inspire and guide us today? The Holy Spirit.
Being inspired is one thing, but it serves no long term purpose if one fails to personalise the vision. How do we know the team has personalised the coach's vision? After a major loss, they practised on their own initiative without their coach, who was told that the football programme will be scrapped. They also motivated each other during a playoff game, in the absence of their coach. The main protagonist, Willie actually rallied his teammates by saying, "This means more to us than them." When asked to offer words of encouragement to the juveniles, Coach Porter remarked, "They are ready."
How do I know if I have personalised the church vision / Great commission?
What kind of person are we back in our hometowns, while away from church coverage in JB? Do we spend our holidays / free time predominantly on leisure (ie eat, sleep, have fun), or make an attempt to be a positive influence and blessing at home?
What would you do if transferred to another city / town where there is no Hope church? Would you take up the challenge to start a lifegroup?

1.2 Be committed in fulfilling the goal.
We live in a world where the value of commitment is losing value, as evidenced through rising divorce rates, and job changes. Commitment to unity and the local church will be tested by conflicts, misunderstandings, seeing each other's weaknesses.

2. Unity is costly - pain and hurts, require us to make the decision to lay down ourselves. Not easy, for we are our own worst enemy.
As in the words of Jim Elliot, 'He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.' Choose to be hurt free in conflicts as we experience more of God's love and His willingness to pay the price for our sins.
In the movie, one of the inmates, Junior, who suffered a slipped disc during practice and was deemed not fit to play, donned his jersey and charged unto the field at a crucial moment of a playoff game, tackling 2 opponents in the process. He could have been seriously injured and paralysed, but he did it, because he wanted to make his son proud, despite his past deeds. Kelvin, who used to be Willie's arch nemesis as they came from rival gangs, ran alongside him during one of the crucial plays to defend him from the opposing team's players.

3. Unity brings us reward.

Session closed with a call to respond, whichever LG we are in - to personalise God's vision, and to work towards maintaining unity among LG members.

Eureka camp 2016 - Part 1 (Personal breakthrough)

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 18:02:00 +0000

Took leave for a 2 days 2 nights student group camp in Broga - teambuilding activities and challenges. Some overcame fear of heights (wall climbing and flying fox), others attained personal breakthroughs by not giving up in the tasks assigned. Woke up at 5am on the last day for a morning hike up to Broga Hill. In the dark, there were various points during the climb of just wanting to give up and go back down (already felt hypoxic and muscle aches), but I just pushed myself to keep on going, and we all made it to the top.

Personal reflection: I push myself, because I believe that physical limitations should not hinder us from accomplishing certain tasks, it's a matter of personal willingness (also I believe that as a leader, when one takes up the challenge and attains personal breakthrough, it inspires others to do likewise). But I guess I also need to learn how not to impose my view and set expectations on others unnecessarily - because there is a tendency to result in harsh judgement if I'm not careful.

Just when you thought you can escape from medschool exams / HO assessment..

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 15:39:00 +0000

New year 2016 - Hope is rising

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 14 Jan 2016 17:22:00 +0000

Currently meditating on:

It has been ages since I wrote my last post. Guess busyness took its toll on something I used to enjoy doing. 2015 has come and gone, there were moments of breakthrough and disappointments, positive lessons as well as failures.

Things have not been easy in several aspects, some appear to be worsening. Family situations, expectations and stressors from work environment, ministry direction, career and academic development. There were times of being forced to reevaluate what I actually believe, with many voices telling you about the hopelessness and impossibility of certain matters.

There were positive lessons nevertheless, which I shared during year end thanksgiving LG. I still hold on to 2 things: challenging myself to take steps of faith where required, and choosing to honour God (and He will honour us). I'm thankful for leaders and a mentor / shepherd who were patient with me in times when I can be quite a difficult person to bear with.

Was asked to prepare a testimony for church camp in India back in October, and spent the whole week cracking my head to no avail - until I was challenged that it need not necessarily be success stories, but lessons learnt and personal convictions (what I see in certain situations / believe God for). Thankful that it proved to be a great encouragement and eye opener to brothers and sisters in the camp. And I saw God's hand at work in opening doors for that trip - it was a season of frozen leaves due to postgraduate exams and lack of staff, but I made the decision to take a step of faith and book my flight in advance, then see how it goes. It was a miracle that my leave got approved 2 days before camp! Praise God :)

I don't consider myself the smartest of the lot among my colleagues - I do get scolded many times for mistakes and knowledge gaps. I'm not perfect, there were times when my emotions got the better of me (occasionally housemen bore the brunt of my outburst). God's grace was sufficient for me though, as I remind myself to just do my best in terms of work and maintain a right attitude (pray and ask God to guard my heart). I guess it came as a surprise when the marks I received from my supervisor consultant for performance evaluation turned out to be the highest so far throughout my time in the department.

MNC has been a refreshing time of reminding me that God desires that we continue to move forward and partner with Him to pioneer. Was inspired by stories of ordinary people who went out of their comfort zone to do outreach work in the rural areas of East Malaysia, as well as ex-comrades from Sunway Monash CF who went against the norm and made a difference in the education world.

MNC 2015 Flashback from Hope Kuala Lumpur on Vimeo.

As I leave 2015, 2016 shall be a year of 'More of God, less of me'. Also a new way of looking at and doing things. Not sure what lies ahead, but would like to believe that hope shall arise. Lord, help me to lay down my pride and preferences, and repent of things which do not glorify you - wish to experience you deeper and witness you doing great things that no one has ever imagined.

U3 Monash LG Thanksgiving 2014

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Tue, 23 Dec 2014 09:04:00 +0000

Backdated post - Thanksgiving Sunday service 30 December 2012

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 16:52:00 +0000

Post-MNC Sunday service testimony

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:43:00 +0000

December 2012 - backdated post
Currently listening: Kari Jobe (Gateway Worship) - You are good

Good morning brothers and sisters. My name is Gary, I'm working as a doctor, currently leading U3 Monash LifeGroup. I would like to share with you my testimony on how I have been blessed after the recent Hope Malaysia National Convention (MNC).

I look forward to attending MNC each year, because I see it as 4 worthwhile days spent in God’s presence, away from work and stress, soaking in the praise and worship and being encouraged through testimonies and the word of God. This year was no different, and I came with an expectation of desperately wanting to hear from God, especially since I have been busy going through some struggles and challenges. One of them is the 2 months left before the end of my housemanship, and I have been struggling to make a decision what to do or where to go after that. Many colleagues have told me that I cannot remain in the hospital where I work, that without an underlying postgraduate qualification, you are almost guaranteed of being sent out to rural districts. Furthermore, I see the burden and many needs in my current ministry. There are members to disciple, and people to reach out to.

As the day approaches, more distractions threaten to prevent me from going to Ipoh. Firstly, despite my leave being approved, my consultant insisted that I cancel my trip and attend her briefing on the 1st day MNC. Furthermore, on the day of departure, I was involved in an unfortunate incident in the operating theatre. On top of that, I had to sit for an exam that same afternoon as part of my department’s assessment. I felt unprepared and difficult to focus after the traumatic incident earlier. Despite all these hurdles, I chose to trust God as I made the decision to depart for MNC, as I did not want to miss any part of it.

Throughout the 4 days, God ministered and spoke to me in different ways. As I spent time to pray during the journey there, he revealed to me of how He is bringing me through a process of character moulding and standing firm in spite of certain challenges. He reminded me of how the way I do carry out certain tasks at work or in ministry need to change. I felt richly blessed throughout the convention, with many lessons learnt. One was the importance of bringing unity among our LG members in order to see a common goal and move forward together, the other was on the need to work on certain aspects of my character, since ‘You preach what you know, but you produce who you are’.

I was also reminded of the importance of our life testimony, when I had the opportunity to spend some time sharing with students from another centre, who were reaching out to Cyberjaya University medical students. Initially I asked myself, “What more can I impart? Their LG is already quite established with more people than mine.” However, as I shared my experiences on how God led me through certain situations and decision-making, I could really see how they were greatly encouraged, some of them even texted my shepherd to say thank you.

On the last day, it suddenly dawned upon me during praise and worship when we sang ‘You are good’, deep inside I was having doubts whether I actually meant it when I proclaim that He is good. As we left the convention venue, there was still a sense of not being 100% fulfilled (ie I wanted more of the 4 days, it was as if I was leaving heaven), and many things still weigh on my mind. I searched for the root of the problem, and it stems from fear of failure - of me not being able to accomplish certain things (unresolved problems either at work, home or even in ministry). Many times I do feel like one of the speaker’s illustration of the parable of 5 loaves and 2 fish (either overwhelmed by focusing on the need, or feeling not up to the task when focusing on personal limitations). The next morning during devotion, God reminded me of the following scripture which spoke to me of His reassurance and promise of restoration as we seek and fix our eyes on Him, the author and perfector of our faith.
-Jeremiah 33:3-14 - ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’

As I return from MNC, God provided a form of encouragement. I received news that I passed my exam. To my surprise in 1 of the papers, I actually manage to score 90%. All glory to God, and give thanks to the wonderful work that He continues to do in my life. Although I am not sure what will happen in the end with regards to my career path after housemanship, I believe that God is faithful. He will continue to lead us through as we choose to honour and depend on Him each day of our lives. Thank you.

Lessons from river exploration

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:31:00 +0000

September 2012 - backdated post in Facebook

I personally consider myself a person of simple faith. When people / leaders ask me to do something, I usually respond and obey without much questioning, though at times I end up doing things which seem ridiculous – eg who in the right state of mind goes mountain climbing / river exploration right after swapping shifts and working for 24 hours? I did not consider it to be much of a challenge in terms of physical fitness compared to Gunung Lambak – although there were some near-misses when I stepped on slippery rocks. Nevertheless, we made it through to the eventual destination: the waterfall.

So here we were standing at the bottom of the waterfall, wading around in a shallow pool of water, when some of the brothers and sisters decided to get a better view higher up by navigating the rock ledges on our right side heading up the waterfall. Initially, I thought it was no big deal to go along as most people in front of me seemed to have navigated it with ease, but as we progressed on, the narrow ledges, slippery surface, the view of the rocks and strong currents below left me frozen with fear on the spot. Thoughts started coming to mind (What if I fall? Will I tumble down from such a height and injure myself? I don’t want to break some bones and get admitted to the very ward I am working in!!!).

Hence, I planned to U-turn back and not risk any further steps forward, only to find a group of people behind me blocking the way, some whose faces appear quite scared as well. So with no other alternative, I decided to move forward - by God’s grace (and some help from more experienced friends), I made it through eventually, greeted by a nicer view deep in the heart of the waterfall and experiencing a nice ‘water massage’ as the stream rushed down the rocks at high speed. Coming back was another challenge though, as my leg cramped and it was more painful navigating the same path I came through earlier.

What did I learn from this experience? I think I got reminded of the verse in Matthew 14:25-32, which speaks of Peter initially taking Jesus at his word and stepping out onto the water in faith, but when he became distracted by the wind, he began to sink. What did Jesus rebuke him? “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” I’m not saying that we blindly do things without thinking, but sometimes we are too smart for our own good. We reason so much about things and circumstances that it hinders us from taking simple steps of faith – think about it, the weather on the day of the trip was forecasted to have thunderstorms (having checked it on 3 separate occasions), but it turned out to be a nice day for hiking. Apart from that, there might probably be various reasons not to go on this trip (eg physical fitness, dangerous terrain etc)

Second thing that I was reminded of was how the decisions we make can encourage spur other people on in ways you could not imagine. The key is the man. Say the people behind you were also fearful of the moving ahead, but by challenging yourself to take that first step, you demonstrated to others that it is possible, it can be done. So let us continue to challenge ourselves to fix our eyes on what is ahead and the eventual result, rather than the current problems and challenges.

Resurrection in progress

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sun, 10 Feb 2013 14:16:00 +0000

After 1 year and 1 month, with 3 days to go before start of MO-ship, I'm trying to revive my blog, which has already been dead for over a year :p so I might upload some belated posts from 2012..

A seed which falls to the ground produces much fruit

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:22:00 +0000

Currently listening: City Harvest - Sanctuary

I shared a testimony during prayer meeting on how God did a wonderful work in the life of me and my sheep, D*. Unlike me last year, whom had over a month to bum around and worry about my future, D did not have such a luxury of time, instead being informed that he will have to attend an induction camp immediately after Christmas, which will determine his hospital placement.

That late Tuesday night after leadership meeting, D rang me up to inform that he got his 3rd choice (Hospital Kuching - ie his hometown), although he put HSAJB and Hospital Sultan Ismail as his top 2 options. I asked him what does he think, and he did share his belief that in such a brief period here in JB, God is not done with him yet, and he desired to see a greater things coming to past in the LG. Hence me and my shepherd encouraged him to submit an appeal for his hospital placement.

At the same time deep inside my heart, there was a feeling of anguish. Putting East Malaysia as one of the option apparently increases one's chances of being sent there, due to a critical shortage of doctors. I was blaming myself a bit for not taking this into consideration, otherwise we might have probably advised him to consider elsewhere. I asked God, "If we lose this key member, does it mean we have to start from scratch as far as Monash Lifegroup is concerned?"

Nevertheless, it encouraged me to see how as he took the step to appeal, instead of re-listing the same options, he struck Kuching off the list (only putting down his 1st 2 options in JB). His mentioned reason? 'Commitment to local church' (same as what I put last year). In the next few days, our unit spent some time to fast and pray for this cause. During this time, Ethan (my shepherd and unit leader) encouraged me that as long as we have done the right thing in terms of what is humanly possible, if he still gets posted to his initial option, then perhaps it is God's wonderful plan for him to be there. It is not the outcome that matters, it is the process - because God looks at our heart. Perhaps God is testing us to see if we are serious in what we do.

On the last day of induction when the appeal results were supposed to be announced, a group of us were having our year-end retreat in East Johor. As of lunchtime, we still have yet to receive any news from D, and I was starting to become nervous. As we ended the retreat with a time of praise and worship, we sang the song 'Sanctuary', and as we were worshipping God, a message came from D, "Hi all, got the appeal results today. Thank you for mobilising the entire unit to prayer, because I'm allocated to HSAJB. God is faithful!" Words could not describe the sense of joy upon hearing that news.

Throughout this process, we learnt a valuable lesson - of how as we choose to honour God in our decisions, He will honour us. Nothing is impossible with God, His timing is just perfect.

A costly PD

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:41:00 +0000

30/11/2011 - An ill patient with traumatic PD (peritoneal dialysis) was quickly wheeled on a stretcher to the operating theatre for an emergency laparotomy, when we realised amidst the confusion, he has not removed his dentures. So I made him do so, quickly snatched it from his hand, placed it in a plastic bag and chucked it to the nurse. Off the patient went to the OT, and subsequently the ICU, where all was forgotten..

Until 5/12/2011 - was sitting at the front desk doing my work when suddenly this patient appeared out of nowhere in front of me. "Doctor..." he muttered in an unhappy tone. "Remember me?" I asked him what did he want? He pointed to his jaw and said, "My dentures. You took them. I want them back." I suggested that he should ask the nurses of the ward upstairs (where he is currently) to call ICU or OT to look for them.. The nurses didn't. So I took the initiative to help hm do so. Still he came down bugged me for a few days.

It was my day off yesterday. He couldn't bug me, so he bugged my colleague, who told him, "Uncle, it's only dentures. Get a new one! How much could it have cost?" His reply? "MINE HAD GOLD PLATINGS ON THEM."

Oops...

What a busy weekend passive call looks like

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 13:06:00 +0000

Finished morning ward work at 12pm. And wow, phone never stopped ringing ever since :P
12.30pm - 4 new admissions, active HO in charge of clerking patients not yet arrive, busy with work upstairs. Me and colleague settle 3 of the new cases.
1.00pm - Critically ill newly admitted patient needs urgent CT brain. Called radiology department. Both CT scan machines are not working (under maintenance), any emergency cases need to be sent elsewhere for CT scan - in this case a nearby private hospital. Told that houseman need to accompany patient while they arrange for ambulance.
1.15pm - Colleague from upstairs ward passes over list of blood results which need to be traced and informed.
1.30pm - Above-mentioned patient's blood results came back. Severe metabolic acidosis. Hypokalemia 1.47, hypocalcemia 1.88. Loaded with NaHCO3 x5 and fast correction K x2.
1.45pm - Patient intubated due to poor GCS. Developed ventricular fibrillation during intubation. After defibrillation patient asystole, revived by CPR.
2.00pm - Upstairs ward called. Patient with acute coronary syndrome and history of gastritis complained of epigastric pain. Called biochem lab to do serum amylase.
2.20pm - Critically ill patient fitted. Valium given.
2.30pm - Haematology ward called. Patient needs branula for chemotherapy and transfuse platelets.
3.40pm - After long walk to and back from haematology ward, noted above-mentioned critical patient's cardiac monitor shows ventricular tachycardia (VT, nobody even noticed). Ordered for ECG.
3.55pm - Just about to sit down to document about the VT, when suddenly a scream was followed by loud crashing sound. Psychiatric patient was placed beside the window despite strict suicidal caution. So what he decided to do? He heard voices asking him to go die, so he jumped out from his bed towards the window. Restrained by staff nurse but broke several window panes in the process.. IM haloperidol stat for sedation. Psychiatric MO was left shaking her head at us..
4.30pm - Upstairs ward called. Patient's serum amylase came back as >600 (pancreatitis). Need to refer surgical.
5.00pm - Another long walk to haematology ward - 3 patients had fever >38 degrees. Protocol for neutropenic sepsis says triple blood C+S (aerobic, anaerobic, fungal) on both arms before starting antibiotics. So altogether took 14 bottles of blood C+S (used up 28 lab forms, 4 dressing packs, 8 pairs of gloves and 6-8 syringes).
7.30pm - After all the blood C+S, 4 patients need platelet transfusion. Managed to annoy the blood bank MO at a time they are short of blood and platelets, so instead of 4 units, each patient only gets 2.
9.00pm - Another patient rolling about in bed due to excruciating pain. Chest X-ray shows ? suspected air under diaphragm - need to refer surgical to rule out peptic ulcer disease. Attendant has gone out to send blood investigations to the lab, so HO wheeled the patient to X-ray department for repeat CXR.
9.40pm - BUSE/Creat for critically ill patient not repeated since fast correction in the afternoon. Done. K+ still 1.74.
9.50pm - Upstairs ward patient needs accompanying to be transferred to ICU. Asked another colleague to help out.
10.05pm - Patient complained of acute urinary retention due to BPH. Urinary catheter reinserted.
11.30pm - Patient with hepatic encephalopathy fitted. Noted that despite being ordered at 7pm, patient not loaded with antiepileptic coz medication not endorsed on drug chart. Since already ran out of hospital drug charts, resorted to using drug charts imported from Hospital Segamat.
12.00am - End of shift. Critically ill patient died at 12.45am.

Thematic LG Week 1: What are the 3P's of true peace?

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 15:06:00 +0000

Currently listening: Brian Littrell - In Christ Alone

Philippians 4:6-9 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (NIV).

What is the difference between true and temporary peace? Temporary peace comes from within a person, when success is assured and circumstances are under control by oneself. True peace arises from putting one's trust in God, regardless of surrounding circumstances. Because the Holy Spirit is in you, you are able to live by faith, and not worry... no matter what happens. The Spirit empowers you to be faithful, to trust, to yield to the Lord's will.

Matthew 6:25-34 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?31 So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

1. God wants you to have true peace by praying - about everything
a) In prayer you are transformed
b) After praying, do your best and leave it to God. Don't start complaining to other people / acting restlessly as if no prayer has been uttered at all.
c) By praying you will started to think about holy things. That is why... (next point)

2. God wants you to have true peace by meditating on what is good/positive (act of thinking)
8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things.
Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.

3. God wants you to have true peace by putting into practice what you have learned. (act of doing)
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Come to think of it, yesterday's LG has many things to give thanks for.on my part.
Give thanks for the opportunity to once again come before God to worship Him and experience peace and joy.
Give thanks for the fact that I received healing after 1 whole day of severe URTI and headache (felt much better after praise and worship).
Give thanks for the lives of 2 people in my LG (you know who you are) - 1 took up the challenge to lead games for the 1st time, the other responded to pastor's sharing and made the decision to sign up for Malaysia National Convention despite the risk of supplementary exams and challenge of parental objections.
Give thanks for a fellow faithful Monash admin staff who faithfully join and intercede for us from time to time.
Last of all, really give thanks for the lives of members of U3, a group of people crazy for God (as Jing Jing puts it :p). Travelling up and down weekly, having to prepare to run 2 Lifegroups (1 in UTM, 1 in Monash) and 1 Saturday morning prayer per week, not an easy task.
Let's treasure the opportunity to serve while we still have the chance, believing that breakthrough is just around the corner :)

Fellowship of the mount

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 09:28:00 +0000

Currently listening: Hillsong - Eagle's Wings

1st day of the fasting month was a public holiday in Johor, so our Lifegroup went on a trip to Gunung Lambak. It was not part of our original plan, as initially we planned to visit a farm, but the entrance fee was rather costly, so we settled for a trek up the mountain. Things did not go smoothly at 1st, as we got lost in Kluang, and arrived rather late at 11am, just before noon.

Gunung Lambak, at 510 metres above sea level is the 2nd tallest peak in Johor. We were divided different groups, and each group went up at a different pace. At the end of the day, despite the pain and aches, it was a day to remember, as most of us shared during Lifegroup.

Going up the mountain proved to be a challenge, seeing as this is my 3rd trek up a mountain / hill. It used to be an easy climb up Bukit Pelindung back in my hometown (250 metres), and I thought 1000 steps in Melbourne was already considered tough. However, nothing could prepare me for what lies ahead.

The path initially looks easy, with steps and a proper pavement, but it came to a point where one had to literally climb up uneven slopes, loose rocks, logs and ledges. Kind of precarious if one is not careful, might slip and fall - reminds you that life is not that smooth sailing.

Jing Jing shared how the climb reminded her of the importance of preparation (whether it's climbing a mountain, or for other events), both physically and spiritually, as well as whether if she is by herself in challenging situations, will she continue to trust that God is with her through it all. David mentioned of through the muscle aches on the day after the climb how at times, painful situations are required by God to build people's spiritual muscles, just like James 1 urging us to persevere and consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds.

I think most of us would be proud of Su Peng, who made it all the way to the top. Despite her multiple complaints of wanting to go back down, Christie, Ethan and I pushed her to press on. I think at one point, I myself doubted whether she could actually make it physically, what more I have never climbed such a challenging mountain myself - the fear actually exists, especially when you look at the mountain's landscape. Nevertheless, the power of encouragement helped, good to see how we actually spurred each other on as a unit and family.

Christie mentioned how despite her athletic abilities, she learnt to put aside her preference to reach the top 1st, and instead learnt to go the extra mile for the people beside her. Imagine having to go ahead and survey which is the safest path to proceed, whether the slope is slippery or rocks are falling off etc. But eventually, as she put it, we go through the bitter moment together, we savour the sweet victory of reaching the mountaintop together.

Setting goals is indeed important, as Ethan summed it up. Today when we want to climb a mountain, you need to know details about it (location, height, condition, estimated time and preparation needed etc), otherwise we will just give up easily without a clear direction. Same applies in our walk with God, what we intend to achieve and where we are headed as a church and LG. Setting short goals helped spurred Su Peng and a few of us on to various subsequent checkpoints. All in all, we reached the top in 2 hours. We might not be the fastest, but we reached the goal in one piece.

As for me? I once again experienced how God's grace was sufficient for us to make it safely up to the peak. I shared midway through the journey that when you reach the top and look back at how far you have come, you will see it as a reference point in your life - God will take you to another level as you continue to breakthrough and overcome your challenges, coz in Him we are more than a conqueror.

I believe that everybody experienced personal breakthroughs on that day to spur them on in the coming weeks ahead. I knew I did, I was on call on the next day :p

Belated June reflections

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 04:04:00 +0000

Currently listening: True Worshippers - Tiada Ternilai

SRCC - A Mission Driven Church

Where there is no vision, people perish.

Almost a century before Christopher Columbus discovered America, or Vasco Da Gama set foot in India, there was an Admiral by the name of Zheng He, whom described how the emperor of the Ming Dynasty had ordered him to sail to "the countries beyond the horizon," all the way to the end of the earth." His mission was to display the might of Chinese power and collect tribute from the "barbarians from beyond the seas."
The Yong Le emperor had ambitious plans. A vigorous man, he rebuilt the Great Wall to the condition in which it exists today. He also built his new capital at Beijing, next to the remains of the former Yuan capital. The emperor decided to go ahead with the sea voyages that had long been planned. He appointed Zheng He to lead them and gave him the title "Admiral of the Western Seas."

At each country Zheng He visited, he was to present gifts from the emperor and to exact tribute for the glory of the Ming. The Chinese had a unique view of foreign relations. Because China developed its culture in isolation from other great civilization, it says itself as the center of the world. The Chinese called their country "the Middle Kingdom."

In 1405 Zheng He set out on his first voyage. No nation on earth had ever sent such a fleet onto the ocean. It included sixty-two large ships, some 600 feet long, larger than any other on the seas, much larger that that of European countries. Hundreds of smaller vessels accompanied them. A Chinese historian described them; "The ships which sail the Southern Sea are like houses. When their sails are spread they are like great clouds in the sky."

When Zheng He came back from his seventh voyage in 1433, he was sixty-two years old. It was not easy for him, as he had accomplished much for China, sailing through stormy seas and unfamiliar lands, having to cope with illness and disgruntled crew members whom failed to see the immediate fruits of their labour. When the emperor ordered him to return, he bravely refused, vowing to soldier on with the mission until he reaches Africa, risking his life for what he believed was greater cause. Though he died soon afterward, his exploits had won him fame, spreading the glory of the Middle Kingdom to many countries that now sent tribute and ambassadors to the court. Plays and novels were written about his voyages. In such places as Malacca and Java, towns, caves, and temples were named after him.

However, a new Ming emperor had come to the throne. His scholar-officials criticized Zheng He's achievements, complaining about their great expenses which nearly bankrupted the nation whose people have more pressing everyday needs. China was now fighting another barbarian enemy on its western borders and needed to devote its resources to that struggle as well. When a court favorite wanted to continue Zheng He's voyages, he was turned down. To make sure, the court officials burnt the travel logs that Zheng He had kept about his journeys to various countries. What remains as documentation of his voyages now only come from the pillar and some accounts that his crew members wrote.

Thus, China abandoned its overseas voyages and turned its back on the world. It was a fateful decision, for just at that time, Portugal was beginning to send its ships down the west coast of Africa. In the centuries that followed, European explorers would sail to all parts of the world. They would establish colonies in Africa, America, and finally in the nations of East Asia. China would suffer because it had turned its back on exploration. Zheng He had started the process that might have led the Middle Kingdom to greater glory. Unfortunately the rulers of the Ming Dynasty refused to follow his lead.

What's the difference between these 2 parties? Both have valid points for arguments, but only one had a vision to see the bigger picture, the other was more concerned and focused with problems at hand.

In the same context as we look at God's people today, are we more concerned with material things / personal gain which will one day pass away? Or the things of eternal value?

June has been one heck of a ride, from a new posting in O&G to the Southern Region church camp, something which I have been looking forward to. Initially, I was a bit concerned about not being able to make it for the camp, having been told that my current department is short of staff (the current people are doing alternate day on calls), what more the harsh working environment, making it difficult to obtain leave. Many people have said that taking emergency leave would leave a black mark on one's service record, what more in my current department but nevertheless I decided to put God 1st whatever the consequences, so I planned my leave a week earlier, feeling apprehensive on whether my specialist would even approve, as the department was seriously short of staff. Miraculously, she did, and I was on my way to Port Dickson for 4 days.

It was a camp which served up a lot of reminders. Initially I was quite disappointed and a thought actually slipped by that this is a waste of time and effort for me, since for the 4th year in a row (since I was a medical student), I was the only representative from my uni. However, having found out the reasons why my fellow colleagues were unable to make it, led me to remind myself that there is much that needs to be done in terms of supporting each other in prayer throughout challenges and helping each other grow and see the value of such events.

1st thing I got reminded of during the camp was to be thankful, knowing that as we choose to honour God, He will honour us and open a way. A fellow MO from Batu Pahat told me that I should count myself lucky, since not all departments will approve your emergency leave without consequences. I learnt to treasure opportunities to spend time with God, as well as brothers and sisters from other centres and countries (Hope India and Indonesia). Was really touched by the desire shown by them, 1 brother waited 1 year for his passport, while because of their culture, 2 sisters had to go through great lengths just to come to Malaysia - they had to travel and seek permission from all their relatives (uncles, grandparents etc), scattered throughout the many different districts in India. Even if 1 family member objects to their trip, they are not allowed to proceed. Despite several objections, eventually they managed to make it here. It really encouraged me a lot, especially when we tend to take many things for granted.

As a heart preparation, I told God that as much as I was going through a stressful time, I did not intend for this camp to just be a momentary stress reliever away from work, I wanted something more for the long term. For some reason the word that kept coming back was to trust in Him. Trust, that was the word for the season. Trust that despite the lifegroup is not seeing any results / growth at the moment, trust that although I have many weaknesses and may not be sure how He will use me, as long as I humbly say, "Here am I, use me," He will work in the background. Pastor once again shared his testimony of his humble beginnings when he was growing up, and how he 1st started the church in JB.

God has been at work without me realising. At times I do struggle from a lack of security according to my shepherd, ie I mind what people say or think of me, and find it difficult to accept what I perceive to be my own incompetencies - even recently some of my nightmares during my sleep reminded me of this challenge. It's difficult to learn to trust God when you are walking through a minefield, that is O&G. But why I mentioned that God is at work is because during my preliminary assessment with one of the consultants, try as I may, I received a quite a bad scolding.. initially I thought I had failed, but later my colleague came and told me that I was given a pass. Another reason came when during the weekend, I was still able to attend Sunday service on some days, although we work everyday without an off day, something which I am grateful for, although I do feel sleepy during the sermon due to fatigue. Some days I was even able to join lifegroup.

I was complaining to God why has he put me in a busy period and stressful department, when now is the holiday time in UTM for the brothers and sisters there to help pioneer something in Monash, or even why everytime when I am on-call, things tend to get busy / go horribly wrong. I guess He is trying to remind me to be humble and depend on Him, since His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Also at the end of the day, it is not by might nor by power but by His Spirit - God is the one who makes the seed grow.

Was grateful that in busy times, when you don't really have time to do much, God is still a God who listens to prayer. He knows what we will ask even before we actually do. My nametag has been missing for 2 days in the hospital, and despite turning my room upside down and searching all over the place which I could remember, I could not find it. I do not have the time to get a photo and make a new one at the office, so all I could do muster was a simple prayer and belief that my nametag would come back to me (before Friday's CME attendance). True enough, on Thursday, one of my MOs found my nametag in the ward. Really thank God for this little testimony.

Despite the lack of sleep and fatigue, through the many weeks of LG and Saturday prayer group in Monash, was encouraged to see how a fellow colleague had the desire and burden to commit more, as he sees the spiritual hunger in this place. Another was discouraged with the repeated rejections she face. Sad as it might be, it was an opportunity to encourage and remind them (and me) how it is not necessarily the end result that matters, but at times how such things can aid our faith. Whatever the outcome, give our best to God and leave the outcome to Him, coz it is not how much we do/say, it's the life transformation in our daily experiences that we desire people to notice and give glory to God.

Compelled by God's love, you would be surprised how walking across a darkened stretch of road, braving poor lighting and high speed traffic just to meet the needs of somebody could go a long way in bringing that person to LG (even if it was only once). Another example was a fellow Aussie housemate, how she kept turning down my invitation for LG, but as I kept inviting and sharing, to a point she asked me why I kept inviting her, she felt flattered. I shared what I see in the LG and church, and she joined us in the weeks to come, even during exams. During one of the uni holidays, leaders invited her to join Mandarin lifegroup (she does speak Mandarin for a Westerner). Usually foreigners get around in Malaysia by taxi. What encouraged me was how she took the effort to find out how to take bus for half an hour all the way to lifegroup. These little things really make you feel worthwhile in investing your life in others.

2 Chronicles 7:14 - if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Not by might

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Sat, 28 May 2011 16:01:00 +0000

Currently listening: Paradise - How could I live without You

"Let's not pray for problems to disappear, for there will always be problems, but we pray for the strength and perseverance to go through it."

That was what Ethan and I agreed, whatever posting I get after Surgery - and it turned out to be O&G.

Sister Christine's testimony during Sunday service served as a big encouragement, of how the BM church started within a church consisting of mainly Chinese-speaking congregation members, when somebody captured God's heartbeat, and was willing to take that step forward to respond by moving to JB to see such a group of people coming to know God's vision. No doubt it was tough despite the early enthusiasm, and there came a point of wanting to give up, but the reminder was always to hold on to God's calling and promises, why He had brought you here for in the 1st place.

Past 2 weekends have been busy, on call for surgery and tagging O&G. Nevertheless, managed to squeeze out some lunchbreak time for Monash prayer. During today's praise and worship, the above-mentioned song really spoke to my heart deeply, coz I was asking God, "If I'm going to work everyday from early morning to late at night, what can I do? Don't even have enough time to sleep, what more do ministry or see something happen?" And the verse which came to mind was 2 Chronicles 7:14 - If my people would humble themselves, seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I WILL hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their land. I can intercede, and the past 2 weeks I was gifted the opportunity and some time to do so over lunch. His word says, "Ask of me, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance (Psalms 2:8)" Today, it is not by might nor by power, it is not so much about how much I can do, coz apart from Him we can do nothing. Continue to proclaim, continue to plant and water the seed, whatever happens, leave it unto His hands.

You are for me - Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (GaRy) — Tue, 24 May 2011 08:48:00 +0000

Currently listening: Kari Jobe - You are for me
(http://youtu.be/UbSMfL5LuSo)

Sunday 8 May was supposed to be a day of celebration (Mother's day), but instead it turned out into a nightmare when I wrote about how 3 patients collapsed and 2 died, and everybody ended up going home super exhausted at 3pm, with morning rounds not done.

Next day Monday during neurosurgical on call, one patient required active resuscitation, early in the morning. Patient died.

Tuesday - worked until 7pm, after 2 months of not putting in central venous catheter, needed some help from my MO to eventually get it in (enduring some criticism from a few colleagues along the way).

Wednesday and Thursday - got scolded a lot while assisting in OT. At times did feel extremely dumb and down..

The Monday after in the ward, was busy resuscitating a haemodynamically unstable patient with peritonitis, when patient beside her stopped breathing. Did CPR halfway only to be informed she is not for active resuscitation. However, in the busyness and confusion, mistakenly broke bad news to the patient's daughter over the phone that her mum has passed away. The result? She cried hysterically, screamed at me over the phone and hung up. Me? Left with the thought of her possibly filing a lawsuit against the hospital, and unfinished work to do (despite it already being lunchtime). Anyway, she came the next day to look for me (the HOs ran away, and the nurses lied to her that I was not around). Anyway when she saw me, I got nothing to hide, I explained my predicament and apologised. From her questions, I think she just wanted some closure over the matter. Hopefully the lady with her wasn't a lawyer, coz it's their word against mine alone.

1 Kings 19 talks about how Elijah experienced great discouragement after a death threat was issued for him by Jezebel. In his many complaints, God provided for his needs (physically in the form of food, and emotional support), and reminded him that there are still people around to do His work (Elijah was in despair because he thought there was nobody left). Was glad how He reminded me during LG of learning to see beyond the problems and issues, coz I have been complaining about the workload and the fact that one part of my insecure mindset couldn't stand feeling stupid. All this while without me realising, God has been working in a subtle way. Yes, it might be a lot of chaos, but on the other hand, I was able to complete a significant portion of my logbook in terms of clinical procedures. He is in control, His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and I came to a new understanding as to what it meant by 'Your grace is sufficient for me'.

I was quite concerned about how to get my forms signed off when my supervisor is not around and I was super busy when he decides to show up, but I did manage to get it done on the last day itself. I passed my assessment and bid farewell to surgery (for now).