Weird News

Mice Smarter Than Human

2008-07-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

From the Press Democrat in Santa Rosa, CA comes a sad story, Woman tries to kill mice, shoots self. Well, maybe not sad. Sort of freaking hilarious actually. Somewhere a village is looking for its idiot.

According to this story, a woman saw a mouse and pulled out .44 caliber pistol. That's a .44 Magnum. You know, Dirty Harry? Huge. Like a cannon.

So anyway, she sees this mouse and decides to obliterate it. I mean a .44 for a mouse is like a nuclear bomb for a elephant. The bullet is almost as big as a mouse.

So let's get the facts. Was she really young? Nope, 43. Did she not have adult supervision? Nope, she was with a 42 year old man. She was in a trailer. Ahhh, the first clue. Instead of firing the gun, she dropped it. Ahhh. In my minds eye, I can see the whiskey bottle unstoppered on the vinyl-top, round, 2 chair, k-mart table that is sitting in the middle of the kitchen of this trailer.

After "it slipped", it blew a hole through her knee, ricocheted off the man's keys (which were hanging from his belt, ahh another clue), it then grazed the man's groin and then entered his pocket where it rested sleepily amongst his coinage.

Police recovered the bullet from his pocket. Much better than a recovery from the groin. Although, removing the ability to breed from these two might be a good idea. A little bleach in the gene pool.

Darwin wept.

Somebody is soooooo going to jail!

2008-06-06T13:35:00.001-07:00

Not that I haven't *wanted* to do something like this, but this guy has completely lost it. Not only did he just lose his job, I think his last pay check might be paying some bills. That's money he'll need a lawyer for. Let's see: assault (about 10 charges for that), vandalism, anything else?

What a nut job.

http://view.break.com/513310 - Watch more free videos

Technorati : bad day, bye bye, freaking out, loser, losing it

Man spends night face down in poo

2007-12-29T06:09:00.000-08:00

Septic tank snares D.M. man

A man fell into his septic and became lodged face down when he tried to fix a blockage. His wife later saw his feet poking up in the air and called rescuers.

As the only person to spend a full day with his face in human feces, he may be the only person in the US really qualified to vote in the 2008 presidential elections.

LewisC

A New Definition of Dog Food

2007-12-25T13:15:00.000-08:00

A guy's dog was stolen to make dinner. Yep, not a pretty thought. Fido brand dog food? Fido brand people food?

ECO Warrior Sterlizes Herself

2007-11-23T08:16:00.000-08:00

From the Daily Mail, Meet the women who won't have babies - because they're not eco friendly.

This woman had an abortion, and eventually found a doctor to sterlize her, because "Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."

I believe in birth control, but this is a little extreme. I wonder if she supports the Chinese government's methods of enforced "1 child only"?

Unfortunately, this nut job can still adopt and spread her anti-human eco crap. At least she won't be reproducing and spawning additional nut jobs.

The Magic Android Potty

2007-11-07T15:39:00.000-08:00

It doesn't get any better than this. No really. A hiney sprayer that gets 10-15 meters? A tush warmer?

This is buttocks magic!

Toilet paper is soooooo 20th century.

When Good Scientists Go Bad

2007-10-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

Interesting article from Fox News, Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It. Scientists found a clam estimated to be between 405 and 410 years old. They realized this shortly after killing it.

"Its death is an unfortunate aspect of this work, but we hope to derive lots of information from it," postdoctoral scientist Al Wanamaker told London's Guardian newspaper. "For our work, it's a bonus, but it wasn't good for this particular animal."

I'm glad they got such a nice bonus. I guess a christmas ham wouldn't be the same.

Video: The Human (Sheep) Torch

2007-10-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

Here is a video on CNN about a guy who made his own sheep costume for Halloween out of cotton balls and then caught on fire at a bar. Yes, he went to a place where people were smoking wearing 100% cotton and glue.

He's had skin grafts and is still having issues with burns over 45% of his body. I think there is a lesson here kiddies! Making your own sheep costume is baaaaaaaaad.

Did you see that one coming?

Coke vs Pepsi: The Throwdown!

2007-10-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

A rivalry gone too far? Pepsi kicks Coke's ass? A pepsi driver attacks a coke driver in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

Maybe they should cut down on the caffeine.

Trade a Kidney for a Vacuum?

2007-10-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

This is weird with a good twist. A vacuum salesman walks into a bar. Just kidding.

A vacuum salesman knocks on a door. A guy answers and tell the salesman he can't afford a vacuum cleaner because he's saving for a kidney transplant. One thing led to another and the salesman gave up a kidney. Now THAT is a salesman!

From CNN: Sales call leads to kidney donation

This guy should be banned from selling cars. He'd give his left nut for a camaro!

Can you imagine this guy selling houses? Ow.

NY City Admits to Illegal Body Cavity Searches

2007-10-06T17:25:00.000-07:00

NY City has admitted to illegally strip searching people who committed minor offenses. The searched are starting a class action lawsuit.

A hand in the hiney for jaywalking? Touche!

LewisC

Video: Teengirl Gets Pepper Sprayed

2007-10-05T17:18:00.000-07:00

Check out this video of a teen girl getting pepper sprayed by a copy. She was out after curfew and put up a passive/aggressive resistance. Finally after biting the cop, he smacks her and then pepper sprays here.

I have to say that I think the cop showed a lot of patience.

Watch the video from Breibart.comn

Secessionists Make Strange Bedfellows

2007-10-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

Not that there's anything wrong with that!

What does New England and the South have in common? You might say nothing but you would be wrong. In this article Secessionists meeting in Tennessee, we learn that New Englanders and Southerners all hate the US Government.

"It doesn't matter if our next president is Condoleeza (Rice) or Hillary (Clinton), it is going to be grim," said Naylor, adding that there are secessionist movements in more than 25 states, including Hawaii, Alaska, New Hampshire, South Carolina and Texas.

You might wonder how well these two groups of people get along. I know I might wonder that.

"What is remarkable and really astounding about this situation is we see people and institutions who are supposedly on the progressive left rubbing shoulders with bona fide white supremacists," Potok said.

Of course, in this context, the "progressive left" are actually socialists and communists.

So, racists have joined ranks with the socialists to create a new country? I think I'll stick with the current setup.

Someone is Having a Deram, er, I Mean, Draem

2007-10-02T16:14:00.000-07:00

Whoopi Does Politics

2007-10-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

Or something like that. This one falls under the heading, "Weird and Too Much Info". I read about Speaker Pelosi's appearance on the View. I've never watched the show but it sounds like Barbara Walters had the hots for Mr Pelosi and Whoopi had the hots for the Mr and the Mrs.

I always thought of politics more as stepping in a something. I guess the speaker stepped in it today.

World Record Ear Lifting

2007-10-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

This is not some freaky form of plastic surgery. Pakastani Zafar Gill was able to carry 137 lbs which dangled from a cord attached to his right ear.

Next year he plans to go for the record "scrotum lift".

Johnnie The Monkey Gunned Down

2007-10-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

A chimp named Johnnie made a dash for freedom but was shotdown by zookeepers. Chimp gunned down in ape escape

Jonnie, an adult male, was gunned down by the zoo's specially trained firearms squad, Henchley said. She added that Jonnie and Coco's keepers were still trying to figure out how the apes escaped.

Did you know zoos had a "specially trained firearms squad"? Bet you pay more attention to those, "Don't feed the animals" signs!

Salty Soda With a Hint of Dirty Jock

2007-09-30T06:15:00.000-07:00

Mmmmmm. I'll take mine salty.

Jones Soda Co. (the “Company” or “Jones Soda” or “Jones”), announces today its limited edition Seahawks Collector Pack of five new football inspired flavors which includes: Dirt Soda, Sports Cream Soda, Perspiration Soda,Natural Field Turf Soda, and Sweet Victory Soda.

“Throughout their career, the average NFL player will spend 2 years of their life in the gym, eat 3 pounds of dirt and perspire 10,000 gallons of sweat. These players must withstand incredibly tough conditions to be ready for every game, which is why we thought we’d bring the fans the full experience in a bottle,” says Peter van Stolk, President & C.E.O. “Now, you can enjoy all the sweat and dirt an NFL player experiences, along with the ultimate taste of Sweet Victory.”

I don't know about you but as a huge sports fan, I am sure am looking for a big bottle of perspiration to cool down with. I mean, all the experts say that nothing quenches like dirt and sweat!

BoBo, The Two Headed Turtle

2007-09-28T18:28:00.000-07:00

Cool but weird. A two headed turtle turns up at a pet store.

Can you imagine the looks you would get in a bar if you walked up to a hottie and said, "Hey, baby. Wanna see my two headed turtle?"

Huge Baby!

2007-09-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

I told my wife about this and she just said, "Ow!". From Yahoo News, Russian woman's 12th baby weighs in at 7.75 kg. 7.75 kg doesn't mean much to you? That's the equivalent of 17.1 lbs. Yep. Ow!

Needless to say, this baby was delivered by surgery. There is no way anyone could pass a baby this big. Actually, I once saw a porno with this woman who could do it. But that's a different story.

"We were all simply in shock," said Nadia's mother, Tatyana Barabanova, 43. "What did the father say? He couldn't say a thing -- he just stood there blinking."

That's not hard to believe.

Attack of the Space Bugs

2007-09-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Creepy! Bacteria sent to space come back more infectious. According to this article, salmonella bacteria was sent into space on the shuttle Atlantis in 2006. It became deadlier after it's time in space.

The study also examined the morphology of the bacteria during space flight and found changes that indicate the formation of a biofilm, which was not observed in the samples grown on Earth. Biofilms are associated with increased virulence of bacteria.

Biofilm sounds kind of SCIFI all by itself. The bacteria grew a biofilm in space that didn't exist on Earth? Ick.

After about three weeks, 40 percent of mice fed the salmonella from Earth were still alive while only 10 percent of those given the bacteria from space survived, according to the study.

It sucks to be a mouse. Even the winners lose.

Beware the Lizard Leg!

2007-09-22T14:35:00.001-07:00

From the land of "Is that a lizard in your pants?", comes U.S. Man Accused of Smuggling Endangered Iguanas in Prosthetic Leg. The accused used a special compartment in his fake leg to smuggle Iguanas out of Fiji.

Prosecutors say he stole the Fiji Island banded iguanas while visiting the South Pacific island in September 2002. He then brought the reptiles to the U.S. by hiding them in a special compartment he had constructed in his prosthetic leg, prosecutors said.

And I thought putting a sock in your trousers was tacky!

Man rises from the dead

2007-09-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

A man undergoing an autopsy, did what very few ever do. He woke up.

...examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face.

I bet they did.

I guess I can label this, "When good autopsies go bad"?

Burglar Gets Freaky in the Bathroom

2007-09-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

A drugged up guy breaks into a house and instead of stealing anything, he decides to make whoopy with various bathroom tools.

...broke into the house in September 2004, scattering pornographic magazines around the bathroom and making a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove, the Brisbane Times reported.

I wonder that thing looked like? I wonder how he used it? The bottle of detergent and the glove I can use my imagination but the wooden stick? Owwww.

Lacey was arrested in December 2006 after police matched his DNA to that on the rubber glove, according to the Australian Associated Press.

I wonder where that DNA came from?

Brain surgery leaves Yorkshire boy speaking like the Queen

2007-09-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not even sure how to categorize this one, Brain surgery leaves Yorkshire boy speaking like the Queen. The boy had an abscess, an infected region in his brain. After life threatening surgery, he lost his ability to read and write and had to relearn it.

He had lost his strong Yorkshire accent and was now speaking the Queen's English.

"We noticed that he had started to elongate his vowels in words like 'bath' which he never did before," said Mrs McCartney-Moore, 45, a music teacher from York.

I'm glad the boy is doing well. Now, if he starts wearing dresses and dancing, he can sign up for Monty Python's Flying Circus.

But remarkably he was able to play the piano and trumpet much better than before.