Weirdo Toys

Ring Around the Weirdo

Justin Gammon — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 06:24:18 +0000

Do you have any semi-lame toys lying around? Like these guys – the Bubbly Chubbies.

(Click to enlarge)

The only reason I keep them around is because they are recalled Teletubbies knockoffs. Wouldn’t it be great if you could easily transform such cutesy-ass characters into something mildly disturbing?

You know, something like this?

(Click to enlarge)

Well, apparently you, can. All you need are some cheap-ass monster face rings.

(Click to enlarge)

These rings look like something you could find in those cheapy, import toy catalogs… like Oriental Trading Company.

I bought these rings on eBay, and once I’d received them, I realized I can instantly transform my “normal” toys into “weirdo” toys with the most minimal of effort. This transformation took very little time and money… About 5 seconds and 5 bucks. I just grabbed a ring. popped it over a toy’s head and voila! Instant weirdo.

I really love the look of the new and improved Bubbly Chubbies. Now they look more like “Grubbly Chubbies.”
(Click to enlarge)

This Chubby is now a wonky-eyed viking guy with high blood pressure and a pink, marshmallow body.

(Click to enlarge)

And we have a your standard screaming skull Chubby…

(Click to enlarge)

and we top it off with the always classic gore gag… the dangling eyeball Chubby.

After seeing how great these guys turned out, I figured I’d try the remaining rings on some other figures I had lying around.

(Click to enlarge)

This vintage Kermit figure becomes a naked, bug-eyed screamer.

(Click to enlarge)

The blue guy from “Voltron,” King Zarkon, becomes Satan in his formal wear.

(Click to enlarge)

And the green, alien guy from “Battlestar Galactica,” Ovion, becomes some weird raving, alien lunatic.

(Click to enlarge)

With that last one though, I have to admit – Ovion looks cooler and weirder without the ring/mask.

(Click to enlarge)

So, that’s about it. I just thought I’d share what originated as a cheapy, weird ring impulse buy actually ended up making some mildly interesting characters for my toy shelves at work.

You guys have any quick ring-faced figures you wanna share? I’d love to see ‘em.

• Buy an Ovion figure on eBay!

• Buy a King Zarkon figure on eBay!

• Buy a vintage Kermit figure on eBay!

• Buy Monster Rings on eBay!

Ugly Balls for a Hasty Bloodsucker

Justin Gammon — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:56:03 +0000

You know what? I’m not the all-knowing weirdo toy guy you think I am. Sometimes it’s you guys who introduce me to cool, weird toys.

… And I thank you.

(Click to enlarge)

Like this guy for example. I never knew he existed.

This little gem of a toy came to me from a new virtual buddy of mine, Michael Bukowski. He’s the author of an awesome toy blog, Blarghhh Spot, dedicated solely to balls. Not just any kind of balls… mainly Madballs and other related bootlegs and knockoffs. You should definitely check it out.

Mike actually contacted me months ago proposing a toy trade (I always like getting those kind of emails).

(Click to enlarge)

Among the photos, I was really drawn to these awesome monster head things (I have no clue what they are, but they may appear again in a future blog entry)…

(Click to enlarge)

… and this awesome, Japanese Dracula bank called Hasty Dracula.

I immediately fell in love with the vintage manga design style. Not only that, but with a peculiar name like “Hasty Dracula,” I had to have it. I decided to trade. Luckily for me, I had some rare balls on hand.

(Click to enlarge)

I had these horribly ugly mini-sadballs in my possession…

(Click to enlarge)

… and I just happened upon a rare, plastic, water-squirting Screamin’ Meemie Madball while I was in South Africa.

Hasty Dracula would be mine. I was already pretty excited to get the toy/bank, but I didn’t know how great it was ’til I saw it in action.

I’ll let you see it for yourself.

I love how the bank is like a characterized Rube Goldberg device. You don’t just drop the money in the coin slot. That’d be too simple and no fun at all.

(Click to enlarge)

You actually drop a coin in Dracula’s back (notice the giant, red syringe – weird)…

(Click to enlarge)

… wind him up, and wait as he climbs his ladder…

(Click to enlarge)

… to undoubtedly accost his next victim.

Luckily for the lady, when Drac reaches the top of the ladder, he loses his balance and falls into a tree –

(Click to enlarge)

Depositing the coin into a slot in the tree.

What an awesome way to save a quarter.

For the small size of this bank (approx. 7″ tall), the automation is surprisingly accurate… and painfully slow (that’s why I jazzed up the video).

(Click to enlarge)

And once the bank is full, there’s a removable cap on the bottom where you can release all 6 coins you’ve saved. Ha!

There are a couple of drawbacks to this toy I’d like to mention. The first is the fact that I can’t remove the Dracula figure from the ladder. He’d be a cool little standalone wind-up vampire toy, and he’s forever imprisoned on his ladder. Unfair. I’ve tried prying him off that ladder, but it feels like I’ll break his arms if I push it much more. Damn.

(Click to enlarge)

The second drawback is the fact that the diorama is basically a thin piece of cardboard. I like the drawing, and it totally sets up the story, but I’m still disappointed. It’s kind of like the feeling I had as a kid when I saw that Cobra’s base was a glorified piece of cardboard.

Hasty Dracula package photo courtesy of Tons-of-Toys.com.

Oh! Here’s a packaging pic I swiped from Tons-of-Toys.com. According to their site, the bank was released in the 80s by Toplay TPS Japan and distributed in Italy by ALES. (Dracula actually looks a bit like The Count from Sesame Street in that pic.)

In closing, I’m still left wondering why Dracula doesn’t just transform into a bat and fly to the window. It’d be a lot quicker, stealthier and a less painful landing. In fact, isn’t this approach the opposite of hasty? It takes time and effort to locate a ladder, set it up and climb up to the window. Not only that, but is he actually going to draw blood from her with that syringe instead of biting here? Maybe he’s not a vampire at all – just one of those goth, poseur wannabes! If that’s true, it makes this Dracula more of a knock-off Dracula. Perfect!

Custom Dunny Skull by George Gaspar

Justin Gammon — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 07:29:46 +0000

I’m not a die hard fan of Kidrobot’s Dunnys.

I like ‘em well enough. I buy some here and there (hoping to get some good ones), but overall, I’d consider myself a casual collector. I’ve never paid collector’s prices for a Dunny, and I’ve never even considered buying a custom Dunny.

But now things are different.

(Click to enlarge)

Now I’ve discovered the “Dunny Skull.”

And it was love at first site.

(Click to enlarge)

What’s not to love? A visible skull in any toy is pretty cool… especially if it’s encased in a glass-bowl-helmet-thing.

(Click to enlarge)

I think what tops it off for me is this guy’s suit, derby and umbrella. That’s one classy bone head.

(Click to enlarge)

What I also love about the Dunny Skull is the attention to detail. The skull has the color and visual texture of real bone. A dark paint wash brings out the details, which includes all of the skull’s sutures, foramina and teeth, making it appear more “anatomically accurate.” Beautiful work!

Alright. By now I’m sure you’re wondering, “where the hell did this thing come from?”

Well, there’s a 2-part answer.

(Click to enlarge)

First of all, the Dunny figure itself is actually from the Ye Olde English Dunny Series. It’s “Rainy London” designed by Triclops Studio. It has a hollow, transparent head.

(As a side note, the “Dunny Skull” custom didn’t come with any of the accessories of the “Rainy London” Dunny. I’m not sure why. I just happened to have the original Dunny on hand to steal the accessories from.)

Secondly, artist and toy maker, George Gaspar (of Toy Break, and October Toys fame) decided to remove the paint from the head and fill it with a cool, miniature Dunny skull… transforming a “meh” Dunny into a “yeah!” Dunny.

I discovered this little guy about a month ago through SpankyStokes.com. When they announced the custom, George had created a pretty small run of skulls. I think he’s making more custom skulls as fans demand them, so if you’re interested, you’ll have to send him a private message over at October Toys’ discussion board.

Best of luck!

Disney’s Transformers 2: Revenge of the Bumbleduck

Justin Gammon — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 04:42:11 +0000

Thoom. Thoom. THOOM… Quack!

(Click to enlarge)

Oh crap! They’re back!

You guys remember that awesome Disney Transformer I featured last year? Well, check this out. They’re back…

(Click to enlarge)

…and they’re accessorized.

It’s the next bot in the series – Bumbleduck (that’s Donald Duck and Bumblebee).

(Click to enlarge)

So, I’m not sure what there is to say about these toys that wasn’t covered last time, but I’ll give you a brief recap. Takara Tomy has yet again combined the unexpected flavors of Disney and Transformers, and has created this truly unique and charming amalgamation. Now we’ve got Donald Duck in robot form, and it appears that he’s got a beach theme going. He comes equipped with goggles and snorkel along with a jet-powered surfboard (a skateboard if you wanna be literal with the wheels and all).

(Click to enlarge)

I’m thinking this guy is cooler than the Mickey. His robot form is anyway. I know there was a bunch of whining and complaining by Transformers fans about Mickey’s being a “shellformer,” but it looks like Donald has moved away from that. (I’m not a die hard fan, so I don’t care one way or another. Just thought I’d point that out.)

(Click to enlarge)

He has amazing details in the sculpt and paint apps. But I love the added bonuses…

(Click to enlarge)

like the pilot/driver Donald…

(Click to enlarge)

the robot’s adjustable goggles and snorkel…

(Click to enlarge)

the button-activated, “talking action”…

(Click to enlarge)

and of course, the surf/skateboard.

(Click to enlarge)

He looks pretty cute driving his Volkswagen Beetle too. I think they did a great job of incorporating the giant robot skateboard into the vehicle mode.

(Click to enlarge)

These Transformers toys are fairly small, but what they lack in size, they make up for in quality. I’m no Transformers aficionado, so it doesn’t take much to impress me. A cool-looking Donald Duck that transforms into a cute, little car just interests me. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the absurdity or the novelty or something.

(Click to enlarge)

And as before, I opted to buy the grayscale color scheme. It just feels so much more minimal and classic than the vibrant and gaudy color scheme. Am I wrong?

(Click to enlarge)

I also wanna humor myself in thinking the alternate grayscale color scheme is a tribute to the vintage, black and white Disney era.

(Click to enlarge)

Oh yeah, here’s the packaging. It’s pretty much the same as the previous figure. New photos of course.

(Click to enlarge)

And here’s a look at the new Duck-themed Autobot emblem.

I’m pretty sure he’s not meant to be a Decepticon. Who would be a Decepticon in this toyline anyway? Who are the Disney bad guys?

Mysterious, Post-Apocalyptic Toy Trio

Justin Gammon — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 06:33:44 +0000

Okay. First things first. I have no clue what the hell these toys are or where they came from. Just so you know. I really need your help identifying these guys.

These figures were a gift to me from someone who shall remain nameless. (Just wait. You’ll understand why once you’ve seen the toys.) He picked ‘em up on eBay years ago as a generous contribution to the Weirdo Toys collection, but this time he’s really outdone himself.

(Click to enlarge)

Okay. Look at these weirdos. They look like they could be characters from a Mad Max cartoon or some other bizarre post-apocalypse themed series. And I think their kimono robes give them a bit of an Asian vibe. So maybe they’re from a post-apocalyptic kung-fu cartoon series.

Let’s check these guys out one-by-one.

(Click to enlarge)

First up, we have this strange, long-nosed fellow. Looks like he could be a goblin or something with his greenish skin and pointed ears. That’s really secondary to the fact that he is wearing a stitched-leather bondage mask complete with zippered mouth. Yikes.

(Click to enlarge)

He’s sporting a t-shirt, pants and sneakers and kimono. He’s also carrying something on his back. Looks kind of like a pot or bowl or something.

(Click to enlarge)

Take another look. You’ll see that bowl on his back is actually a toilet bowl. Oh yeah, and there’s a fresh turd inside. Ha!

It doesn’t stop there. To complete the “things that come out of your butt” theme, it seems this guys is actually using anal beads to strap the toilet bowl to his back. I know what you’re thinking. Only my demented mind could come to that conclusion. But think about it. Conceptually and thematically, it makes sense. It almost makes the figure even better (maybe “better” isn’t the right word for it). He’s a weird little fetishist.

(Click to enlarge)

So, this second guy is kind of freaky. It looks like he’s wearing some kind of protective oxygen mask. But what good is a protective mask if your giant, mutant tongue is hanging out? Look at that freakin’ thing.

(Click to enlarge)

This guys’s got a huge, swiveling tongue that’s nearly as tall as he is. Like I mentioned before, he’s wearing that strange mask, and it looks like it’s held on with riveted rubber netting. He’s also got the kimono and sneaker action happening. If you look closely, you’ll notice his pants are unbuttoned.

(Click to enlarge)

He’s carrying a waste basket of debris on his back. I’m not sure what that’s all about. Looks like there are some banana peels, soda cans and a juice box or something. Luckily this guys only using rope to carry the trash around.

(Click to enlarge)

Alright. This third guy is the strangest of the bunch. he’s an emaciated, humanoid-dog thing with a hint of android.

(Click to enlarge)

Looks like he could be hybrid of man and dog pieced together with wires, scraps of metal, spark plugs, metal plates, etc. He’s one strange pet.

Why am I so sure it’s a “he?” Glad you asked.

(Click to enlarge)

He’s got male genitalia. (First Weepy the WeeWee, now this.)

It wasn’t until I saw the figure from this angle that I realized that it may not be a robot tail on this dog after all. It could just be a metal rod shoved up his ass. That’s definitely a first (and hopefully a last) for my toy collection.

This dog figure has a waist swivel joint that always seemed useless to me. His permanent pose really made this bit of articulation pointless. Well, mere minutes ago, I discovered there actually is a reason for it. I was inspecting the toy as I wrote this blog entry, and I noticed his torso was a bit loose. The two body pieces were separating. Out of curiosity, I pulled him apart.

This is what I discovered.

(Click to enlarge)

A dangling, severed spine and juicy torso meat. Wow! This toy just got even weirder. These toys just keep on giving.

So, there you have it. three freaky toys that have been hanging around my studio waiting to have a home on the blog. Maybe you can help me identify them.

(Click to enlarge)

As I stated earlier, I have no idea what these toys are, but the only clue I can share with you is this emblem. It can be found on all three figures. I’m not sure how it should be read. Maybe “V3 Toy?” The logo looks like an owl with a lazy eye. Any help from you guys would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Primitive Zombie Species Discovered

Justin Gammon — Tue, 25 May 2010 04:13:48 +0000

On the Weirdo Toys blog, it’s always been my mission to uncover rare and strange oddities, but this time I’m onto something really special.

I’ve just uncovered this undiscovered etching of a long-forgotten ancestor in our evolutionary heritage.

(Click to enlarge)

It looks like this new “creature” is a mutated step between gorillas and humans.

So, who gives a crap about rare creature etchings, right? We’re here for the toys! Well, as soon as I saw this drawing, I actually recognized the creature in the center there.

Check this out.

(Click to enlarge)

I actually have a toy of that exact skeleton. I dug it up last year in a toy excavation. Pretty coincidental.

But I have a feeling that the specimen I found is a rare, undead, zombie skeleton.

He looks a bit zombie-ish to me.

(Click to enlarge)

He’s got some tell-tale signs – like his glowing read eyes and his mouth full of bloody teeth.

If you take a closer look at his body, you’ll see some other strange anomalies like his big ol’ hands and tiny feet.

(Click to enlarge)

Check out his torso. What’s with that funky sternum and neck ventilation? And I’m guessing the pelvic vent and crotch cross-bones didn’t help in his survival.

(Click to enlarge)

And this is weird too. There are arbitrary bones growing on his shoulders and hips. What the hell?

I wish I knew what to call this guy. Maybe I should call him “Mortisapien.” (Lame. I know.)

….

Okay. Okay. enough of the B.S. here’s the real scoop on this toy.

(Click to enlarge)

I was actually lucky enough to receive this skeleton toy as a gift from The Godbeast when I bought a couple of Underworld Warriors figures from him last year. Thing is, I have no clue what the hell he is or where he comes from (and neither did The Godbeast). He’s an unmarked gray skeleton. I don’t think he’s a crappy bootleg, because he’s fairly well made. I base this primarily on his paint application. Look how well done the red strips between the ribs and vertebrae are. Even each individual tooth is painted. That would take some seriously skilled sweatshop laborers to paint like that.

So, if you happen to know anything about this toy, please share with the rest of us.

Until then, I’m claiming he’s a rare, blood-sucking, brain-eating zombie species.

Weepy the Wee-Wee

Justin Gammon — Mon, 03 May 2010 02:57:12 +0000

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was actually in South Africa visiting with my wife and some of her family (they’re all Afrikaners). We were all super-busy and touristy out there, but I did have one day dedicated to toy shopping (thanks Monty and Alec). I hit up a bunch of antique shops and toy stores. I didn’t find much, but here’s a little something I definitely want to show you.

(Click to enlarge)

It’s Weepy the Wee-Wee!

I’ve seen this guy here and there at flea markets over the years, but according to the shop owner I bought this from, this one is from the 40s.

(Click to enlarge)

I think I believe her. It does look like a vintage/antique Weepy. He has a better color scheme and paint job than the more modern reproductions.

It appears that Weepy just gets re-released with new packaging and new color schemes every once in a while.

I have no clue who makes Weepy or where he comes from. I’m not sure of how long he’s been around, and I’m not even sure if Weepy is his original name. (Can anyone help me out with this?)

For those unfamiliar with Weepy, he’s basically a cute little kid with an innocent (yet sly) look on his face. Looks like he’s hiding something.

(Click to enlarge)

Oh no!

(Click to enlarge)

Wait!

(Click to enlarge)

He’s peeing on everything!!

I never thought I’d own a urinating toy.

(Click to enlarge)

Yep. Simply fill Weepy’s base/reservoir with water, pull down his shorts, and voila – the cutest, little urine stream you’ve ever seen in a toy.

Here’s Weepy in action.

As you might have noticed, this toy is pretty old and kinda cruddy.

He has stains and aged glue where some previous owner has made lame repair attempts. His pee action still works, but it’s a bit weak (I hear that happens with age).

While searching for info for Weepy, I came across a really disturbing version of him.

This Weepy definitely doesn’t have the charm of the original Weepy.
He’s got his hands in his pockets, and he’s wearing shorts over his pants. Weird.

Optikk by Mattel

Justin Gammon — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:21:34 +0000

Remember the New Adventures of He-Man? I discussed it briefly a couple years ago.

You see, I never really knew about the New Adventures of He-Man cartoon as a kid. I never watched the show or knew the characters or anything like that. I was already out of my Masters of the Universe toy phase, but that didn’t mean I still didn’t like looking around the toy store. My first (and last) exposure to “New Adventures” was on the shelves in a toy store. I still have a vague memory of strolling through the toy aisles of said store and seeing, hanging from the pegs in bold, gold type,”He-Man.” But once I saw what the He-Man figures were, I was a bit surprised, confused and disappointed. The characters were all new, they were a smaller scale, and they were not as freakishly muscular as I’d come to expect. It made no sense. It was traumatic I tell you.

Seriously. This new bastardized He-Man sucked. It seems that there was so much of a distaste for scrawny He-Man, that Mattel eventually released a couple more versions of him which you may notice grew more and more muscular.

(Click to enlarge)

He-Man figure photos courtesy of He-Man.org.

Ha! He still looks pretty crappy but at least he’s transforming to the steroid-ridden He-Man. That’s the way we like him.

Well, I’m well beyond the whole purpose of this post. I’ll just say the new He-Man sucked. but it’s been a long time since those days, and looking at the line now with my weirdo-collector eyes, I can actually see the value in some of the “He-Man” toy designs – mainly the villains and especially this villain, Optikk (clever name huh?).

(Click to enlarge)

You are looking at one of the freakiest He-Man villains ever created. His head is a giant, pulsing eyeball for cryin’ out loud, and it’s staring through your soul!

Optikk’s been getting a lot of attention lately, because he’s being re-made and released by Mattel in the Masters of the Universe Classics (MOTUC) line.

Optikk figure photo courtesy of YouBentMyWookie.com.

This is a testament to the fan-following this guy has garnered over the years. He looks pretty cool, but I figured I’d show you the original.

We’re going back to 1990.

Let’s start with the packaging.

(Click to enlarge)

Ah. Good, old fashioned paintings of characters. I’ll always, always enjoy that. Thanks Mattel, for supporting some illustrators. (but I have noticed you’re re-using the same vintage art for the MOTUC lines. Just hire a guy to do new stuff, so it can be consistent.)

(Click to enlarge)

Well, to start things off, I’ll just say, “Ugh.” Look at that freaky eyeball just staring at you. Creepy, huh?

According to his bio Optikk’s a “Bad-tempered goon squad cyborg from the foggy polar region of evil planet Denebria. Has a spyball eyeball that lets him see through almost anything.”

Ok. So he has the huge eyeball to see through the fog. I get it. His “people” have evolved to this point I guess. Giant eyeball heads.

Secondly, as you may have noticed on the package, Optikk has “Masters Action,” and his action happens to be a “quick-draw” move.

(Click to enlarge)

It’s cool and all that he draws a gun on you, but it’s really, really lame that his arm is in a permanent, “I’m gonna bust a cap in yo ass” position. To “activate” his quick-draw action, you simply hold his arm down and let go when it’s time for him to shoot. You’re screwed if you ever lose the gun. You’ll be stuck with a guy who just kind of holds his arm out there.

But he has another action that makes up for the lame, rigor mortis arm.

(Click to enlarge)

Just spin the dial on his back…

and his eyeball moves!!

In case you can’t figure it out, Mattel has provided some step-by-step instructions.

(Click to enlarge)

Optikk’s fairly poseable too. He has various ball joints and hinges and such. Pretty fancy compared to the old MOTU figures.

(Click to enlarge)

When all is said and done though, the guy is pretty neat. He looks like a steam-punk astronaut or robot or something… with an eyeball for a head. It really seems like a poor armor design to keep your most vulnerable body part completely open to attacks. Maybe Mattel should’ve made a dorky helmet for his eye or a battle-armor contact lens.

Well, Optikk, thanks for justifying the existence of the He-Man toyline. Best of luck with your MOTUC release.

A Random Blog Entry to Distract You From the Fact That I Haven’t Posted a New Toy Lately

Justin Gammon — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 06:01:12 +0000

Hey weirdos.

I know I’ve been MIA on the blog lately, and unfortunately, I’m going to be gone for just little while longer. I’m even staying off Twitter for a couple of weeks. But before I escape the internet for a while, I’d like to leave you with some weirdo tidbits.

It’s another Twitter Roundup and Weirdo Searches. It’s been a while, so here we go.

First up is the Twitter roundup. I’ve become a lot more active since I started doing these “roundups.” If you aren’t following me on Twitter, then you’re missing out on some random toys and things that never make it to the blog. You’ll also get a glimpse of my boring, day-to-day existence. I think most folks stay for the toys.

(Plus, that little tab on the left side of screen can show you what you’ve been missing)

Here’s a small sampling of what you might have missed.

: Spidey says,”Raise the Roof!”

: Weirdo Toys Exclusive – Awkward, teen Battle-Cat photo!

: One of many Kidrobot Futurama toys I received today.

: Found a new face for the Magic Monster. Looks a lot like me.

: She’s here. She’s here! She’s here!! (and she’s loose)

: Another look at Optikk. This time he’s animated.

: Picked up one of the Socket Poppers I “needed” – Monster Fly

: Most aren’t on display. This is may be the only organized area @iPHONEbraggyBoY

: They’ve unearthed an old family photo of Moss Man and his dad.

: Cool, melty Kaiju guy.

: Yep. There’s a Wonder Woman toy in my collection… kind of.

And now on to the coveted “Weirdo Searches.”

For those who are out of the loop, I used to occasionally tweet some bizarre Google searches I’d find when reviewing my site analytics. That eventually grew to a 10-20 point list I’d publish here. It’s been nearly a year since my last list. A new one is long overdue.

Well, here’s a look at some funny bizarre things people have searched, since the beginning of the year, to get to my site:

17. “goofy jesus”
Is that a fun-loving Jesus or a new Disney spinoff?

16. “apple sells out to the devil”
Just reminded me of Apple Devil. That’s all.

15. “disturbed mascot toy sale”
I’d like to be at that toy sale.

14. “why am i such a random gross weirdo?”
I dunno. Been wondering the same myself.

13. “creepy ugly old woman pictures”
uhhh…..

12. “brick walls and wire intestines”
Sounds like the makings of a brick-and-mortar robot.

11. “archives of a naked future”
The future is now. It’s called porn on the internet.

10. “cutting off a monster head and growing back two”

9. “danny glover looks like a gorilla”
That seems so wrong… ’til I saw that still from the King Kong movie.

8. “squeeze a dinosaur and it vomits on you-toy”
I want this toy.

7. “japanese mayo ‘video game’”
Sounds weird. If it’s Japanese, I’m sure it is.

6. “just got asked if i’d like my gammon rare”
Gammons are inherently rare I think.

5. “does ben grimm have genitals”
I’m not sure, but I overheard Johnny Storm admit Ben’s got some “stones” on ‘im.

4. “gorilla toys that act real but they are not”
They’re definitely more fun if they’re not real. Less Genital and face mutilation.

3. “bootleg underwear”
The real thing is just too expensive.

2. “constipated turtle”
Kinda redefines “a turtle head poking out.”

1. “i need a birthday cake that looks like a body after an autopsy”
Ha! Now that’s just weird. I need to see that. Lemme Google it quickly…
… Ah. Found photos of Michael Jackson. Scary.

That’s it for today kiddos! Enjoy yourselves and stay weird. I’ll catch up with you again in Mid-April!

Super-Spider-Man

Justin Gammon — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 03:29:11 +0000

Well, last time I thought I’d show you some cool “knock offs” of your favorite super heroes, but today, we’re taking it to full-on “bootleg.”

So what do you get when you combine the world’s three most popular comic superheroes into one figure?

You get a mess.

If you can’t afford a figure of each, might as well combine ‘em. right?

Let me introduce you to a bootleg figure I like to call Super-Spider-Man.

He’s the best of all your favorite superheroes!

The body of Spider-Man painted as the costume of Superman…

… topped off with the cape of Batman. (It’s red, but I’d recognize that jagged, zig-zag cape pattern anywhere.)

Yikes!

I think he’s actually a bootleg of a bootleg. He’s not a “real” Superman bootleg. He’s a 10″ tall bootleg movie Spider-Man figure that’s been repainted as Superman. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a bootleg of a bootleg. Ha!

So, yeah. He’s freaky enough as it is, but look at this!!

His eyes are crawling up his head. Is this Superman’s new approach to hiding his identity?

Out of curiosity, I decided to put his eyes in their proper place.

I “Photoshopped” ‘em, and I’m not quite sure he looks any better.

So, we’ve established this guy’s a horribly-produced bootleg – complete with the weird hollowed-out arms, scraggly paint job, but he does have one more small surprise.

Did you notice that weird, little button on this guy’s back? It actually activates a little, red LED in his chest.

Awesome! I think this is his bootleg heat-vision! (His eyes relocated, so maybe his heat-vision did too.)

I’m scared to look into the light.

Whew! If the crappiness of this toy doesn’t blind you, at least the LED will. Maybe if you stare at it long enough, you’ll go blind and will never have to see this monstrosity again.

Super Fantastics vs. Super Diabolics

Justin Gammon — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:21:44 +0000

You see these generic-looking super heroes? (The ones that look a lot like Playmobil?) They may look like true knock-offs or bootlegs of your favorite comic characters, but they are in fact a legit toyline from a legit Spanish toy company, Airgam.

“What the hell is Airgam” you may be asking? well, Airgam is a toy company that was established in 1976 and is best known for its miniature figures called Airgam Boys.

Airgam Boys photo courtesy of AirgamBoys.net.

The Airgam Boys had various series which included themes such as Space, Romans, Cowboys, Sports, etc. One such category called “Airgam Comics: Super Stars” was released in 1985… which leads us to these guys – The Super Fantastics and Super Diabolics.

(Click to enlarge)

They’re a bunch of guys wearing capes, boots, gloves and what looks to be diapers on the outside of their pants. Not only that, but most of them are carrying guns. Even the good guys. I guess there’s a higher price to pay for crime in Spain – a bullet to the gut.

Looks like the series more or less uses all the same body parts and accessories. They just get different coloration, paint apps and stickers.

Let’s take a closer look at the figures shall we. We’ll start out with the Super Fantastics.

(Click to enlarge)

First of all, what’s up with that name? Ha! Sounds a lot like a bad English translation doesn’t it? It makes them that much more charming I guess. And this type treatment is so funky. Looks like some kind of street graffiti.

(Click to enlarge)

This is a rough bunch of super heroes. You’d think they were over sized, floating heads, arms and torsos hanging out with miniature, heavily-armed little people. It’s a pretty nasty-looking illustration – a weird mishmash up of all the characters piled on top of each other. The characters’ scale is all off, and the characters which appear to be in the background are overlapping characters in the foreground. It loses all sense of this thing being a “montage.”

Super Fantastics
(Click to enlarge)

The Fantastics characters I have to show you today are Stars Man, Bird Man, Red Masker and Captain Laser.

Stars Man
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Stars Man, is pretty much a Captain America ripoff if you ask me. Although, since he’s just a “stars” man, I guess his allegiance is the stars themselves and not necessarily to the United States. He could represent any country that really likes stars… or Astronomy.

Bird Man
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Bird Man seems to be the Batman ripoff. He’s got the big, bat ears… only thing is, he’s bird man. Birds don’t Have big ears like that. Not sure why they did that. They should’ve given him a beak or something.

Red Masker
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Ha! Now we have Red-Masker… which is probably the funniest name in the bunch. If you can’t come up with a good ripoff name for a Spider Man character then you shouldn’t be naming toys. Ha. Why “Red-Masker?” Couldn’t they have done something like “Arachna-Kid” or “Webbed-Wonder?” How’d they come up with the “Red Masker?” I can picture it now:

“Hey Berto… we need a name for this Spider Man-looking guy.”
“Is he wearing a mask?”
“Yeah.”
“What color is it?”
“Red.”
“Why don’t we just call him ‘Red-Mask?’”
“I dunno. Seems too lifeless. It’s not action-oriented enough. No real ‘kick’ to it.”
“Well, how about ‘Red Masker?’ You know, he masks people and stuff.”
“Man. Why didn’t I think of that? The kids are gonna love it!”

(Damn. I went off on a tangent there. Sorry.)

Captain Laser
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Here’s Captain Laser. This guy was obviously inspired by Cyclops from X-Men, but his sci-fi logo style and the word “captain” in his name makes me feel like he’s more of a Buck Rogers, sci-fi, leader kind of guy. Plus, I love how happy he looks. He’s probably the wise-cracking smart ass of the group.

(Click to enlarge)

Oh yeah, and look at this. He may be cracking a smile now, but if you cross him, he’ll laser-blast your ass. What did the innocent people in that sky rise do to deserve the laser-beamed wrath of Captain Laser? Maybe some Super Diabolics were hiding in there.

(Click to enlarge)

Next, we have the Super Diabolics. I’m actually a bit intrigued that these toylines have separate names… unless “Airgam Comics: Super Stars” is considered the toyline’s name. I dunno. Anyway, the same weird English translation thing goes for this toy title too. Love it. The style here is more reminiscent of skateboard graphics or tattoo art or something. So pointy and flamey.

(Click to enlarge)

And look at these guys. They seem a bit more unique/diverse and not so ripped-off (at first glance anyway). This montage suffers from the same weird perception of space between the characters. I like their dark and mysterious setting – surrounded by creepy castles, sharp mountain ranges and monster bats.

(Click to enlarge)

The Diabolics I have to show you today are Dr. Diabolic, Python, Piranha and Spector.

Dr. Diabolic
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

First we Have Dr. Diabolic… which basically means this guy is the leader. If you’re team is called the “Super Diabolics,” and you are doctor of Diabolics, then you are definitely the bad-ass leading the bunch. His mask only covers a part of his face for some reason, and it looks like he’s even lost an eye in battle. He kind of reminds me of Mr. Sinister from the X-men.

Python
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Up next we have Python. Which looks like a weird 70s Dracula. I love the little ’stache and stained vampire fangs. If he’s not a weird reptilian vampire, I’d say he’s a retro version of G.I. Joe’s Serpentor.

Piranha
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Here we have Piranha. I think he’s the misunderstood weirdo of the bunch. I’m sure he speaks or acts in some way that any passerby would think he’s “special needs.” He looks pretty cool. Looks like a cross between an alien and a fish man. Good to see he has a trident instead of the guns everyone else seems to love so much.

Spector
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

Oh. And my favorite of the bunch – Spector. He’s definitely the scary, mysterious loner who answers to no one. Question: What’s more bad ass than a guy with a skull for a head? How about a guy with a skull head wearing a futuristic leather space suit. What’s cooler than a skull-headed guy wearing a futuristic leather jumpsuit? How about a skull-headed guy wearing a leather jumpsuit toting around a big blaster. This guy has to be an undead space biker. He could’ve been inspired by Ghost Rider.

That’s all the characters for now, but we’re not done yet.
Not only were these little guys cool, but they had huge freaking playsets.

(Click to enlarge)

Here are a couple of playsets that were featured on the back of the packaging. Looks like a city playset with a giant spider web, and a big glowing bad guy along with the castle playset. The castle is kind of wonky and more fantasy-inspired than these comic characters. Just look at these things. Sure they’re just cardboard cutouts, but they seem like they could’ve been pretty fun.

Playsets not cool enough for you? Well, in these pics you can see a lot of these guys had alternative figure versions which came with their own personally-branded vehicles. Looks like they had various airplanes, motorcycles and hovercrafts.

Red Maskermobile
(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

I happened to get my hands on this Red Masker-mobile. And boy is it a thing of beauty. Looks like a weird jetski-speedboat-hovercraft or something. Not sure if he flies this thing or sails it.

(Click to enlarge)

Also, notice the Red Masker that came with this vehicle is different than the regular one. This time his eyes are exposed, his costume’s original web patterning has devolved to a generic criss-cross design, and now, he has his name written across his chest (so you won’t confuse him with Spider-Man).

Panther Man and Bad Tiger
(Click to enlarge)

You may’ve noticed a couple of characters from the toy packaging that didn’t get their time in the limelight. I don’t have these figures, but I figured they needed a little mention.

Here we have the Super Fantastics’ Panther Man. He’s basically a Wolverine ripoff. They tried to throw us off a bit w/ that bow, but we know Wolverine when we see him.

And then we have the Super Diabolics’ Bad Tiger. He actually looks pretty nice. Reminds me of a character you’d see in an old Nintendo Pro Wrestling game or something.

Note that they both have an animal theme and the same color scheme. Oddly coincidental.

If you happen to have these figures or know where I can find ‘em, please get in touch with me

And lastly, I wanted to share this vintage Spanish toy commercial for the Airgam Comics: Super Stars. You know they had to be legit if they had their own toy commercial. Enjoy.

Oh man. All I can say is I love these little guys. I’m so glad I discovered them. I never knew anything about them growing up (being the little American kid I was in the 80s). Thank goodness for the internet and my buddy, John, who hooked me up with a lot of these figures. Thanks John!

Thunder Cats Villanos

Justin Gammon — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 07:03:36 +0000

I think this is it.

(Click to enlarge)

Quite possibly the most horrible, disgusting, poorly-produced toy I own.

Seriously.

Look at him.

(Click to enlarge)

He’s a hairy beast, trapped in his own cobbled-together body – screaming in agony, because he’s stuck in this constant state of crappiness.

(Click to enlarge)

Seriously. The guy looks like a failed prototype of a prototype or a badly-built model kit or something.

(Click to enlarge)

Another weird thing about this monstrosity is its potent chemical smell. Not only does it stink, but the smell actually rubs off onto your hands when handling this thing. Now that’s a first in my toy collection. Even Stinkor’s stench doesn’t rub off on you.

(Click to enlarge)

And just look at this awesome toy construction. Now that’s quality.

His pieces don’t even fit together properly, and he looks like he was painted by a small child… with a poor motor skills… using a partially-crusted, dry brush from a bottle of white-out.

I know this is a bootleg possibly produced using child labor, but c’mon! Teach those kids to paint!

(Click to enlarge)

Oh, wait! The figure came in a little plastic baggy with a header card and everything. It looks so legit now!

(Click to enlarge)

And look at the huge assortment of accessories he came with… which he can’t even use.

Wanna know why? Because most of the stuff was re-purposed from smaller toylines’ accessories – Masters of Universe, Galactic Fighters, Galaxy Warriors, and maybe a hint of Thundercats.

(Click to enlarge)

Well, at least he can hold the swords… but only in one of his hands. Wanna know why? Because the shoddy production processes left him with some much extra plastic flack all over his body, his hands are filled and closed off.

Kind of gross actually.

Well, there is one saving grace to this figure – that custom package header. Let’s take a closer look.

(Click to enlarge)

Not bad. I mean it’s crappily printed and all, but it looks awesome. It’s actually an original piece of art – hand-drawn typography and semi-sloppy comic art style. A lot of artists and designers strive for this look. You’d normally expect to see re-purposed packaging art from the original toyline on these Mexican bootlegs. I really like the personality of this piece (I even made it into a desktop wallpaper for you.).

I wonder what the original toyline was. I’m guessing it’s Thundercats. My first clue was the title “Thunder Cast Villanos.” Ha! Plus I recognize some of the characters in the artwork. (From left to right) Looks like we have Monkian, Slithe (who looks freakin’ great!), Mumm-Ra… and ummm… some wolf guy (is that supposed to be Jackalman?) and… uh… is that Golem from Lord of the Rings? Looks like Vultureman on the bottom though.

(Click to enlarge)

So, there you have it. The most disgusting Monkian bootleg you’ll ever see, and the crappiest bootleg toy I’ve ever owned (and the greatest wedding gift – thanks Jason!)

Wow.

If you’re one of those folks who’s not even sure who Monkian is, or what the original toy looks like, here’s a pic for you.

Thundercats’ Monkian photo courtesy of ToyArchive.com.

I actually had the original figure as a kid. I liked him well enough, but he was never really as cool as all the He-man figures I had him surrounded by.

He was a wannabe Beast-Man in my book.

Don’t believe me? Check out this boring, yet semi-fun video of Monkian “in da club.”

Santa Claus by Kohner Bros.

Justin Gammon — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 17:13:56 +0000

Hey folks! Merry Christmas! (I would say “Happy Holidays,” but I don’t feel like being politically correct today.)

Don’t worry, all you non-Christmasy types. I’m only focusing on the commercial side of the holiday. That’s right –Santa Claus!

(Click to enlarge)

Wow, this isn’t the jolly ol’ Santa we all know and love. This looks more like the homeless, mentally disturbed Santa we’ve always feared.

All the signs are there – wandering eye, disheveled clothes, bloody nose. Damn. Looks like he’s been stumbling through the streets of the North Pole for well over a week.

He is the perfect stocking stuffer for the weird toy lover in your family (who is probably you).

(Click to enlarge)

What we have here is a vintage Santa Claus Push Puppet by Kohler Bros. I think it was released in the 1960s. (No wonder Santa looks like hell. He’s been lost on the Island of Misfit Toys for the past 40+ years.)

(Click to enlarge)

I’m sure you’ve seen toys like this before. For those unfamiliar with push puppets, they are basically miniature, marionette-type of toys whose segmented body parts are held together by string which is tied taut to a solid platform encased in a cylindrical base.

(Click to enlarge)

Once you “push” on the platform inside the toy’s base, it releases the tension of the string, resulting in the sporadic movement of the character. If given enough pressure, all of the body parts will fall limp.

Sheesh. That written description of a push puppet was a bit overkill. I think a quick video will more quickly express what I’m talking about.

Merry Christmas folks! Enjoy your food, drink, family, friends and whatever else it is that you do. I hope Santa leaves something weird in your stocking.

• Buy Push Puppets on eBay!

2009 Greater York Toy Extravaganza

Justin Gammon — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:33:24 +0000

Well, it’s the holiday season. I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving a week or so ago. Did you celebrate it the way most Americans did? You know – rushing to the shops to find their super-great deals. Well, not me. I decided to spend nearly half a day on the road driving to York, Pennsylvania – home of the Greater York Toy Extravaganza, where I’m not guaranteed to find good prices or good toys at all. Worth the risk? I dunno. I’ll get back to you on that one.

I didn’t go to the York toy show alone. I actually went with my father-in-law. Yep. He’s into toys too. Luckily he’s a fan of old, die-cast cars and stuff (Dinky Toys mostly), so we don’t compete. Anyway, when traveling to York last year, we went by plane which turned out to be a nightmare. We had hellacious layovers and weather delays, so we figured this year we’d try to control our own destiny by driving.

(Click to enlarge)

Not only did we drive to York, but we arrived to the toy show a day early. Some folks don’t know it, but they have an “Early Buyers” admission to the show. You can pay to get in the day before the show (or you can pay to get in a couple hours early the day of the public show). The dealers set up Saturday and sell to each other and other suckers like me that night. At last year’s show, we only knew about the Sunday opening. We were kind of rushed with our toy shopping, because we had to catch a flight. But now, we had plenty of time.

(Click to enlarge)

And as you can see, maybe we had a bit too much time. Yeesh. Maybe getting there first thing really wasn’t the best use of our time or money. As it turns out, the dealers are getting there the same time as the early buyers. It’s kind of annoying actually. Why make the dealers wait until 5:30pm to set up shop?

Oh well. At least I bought a couple of things… maybe even stuff that would’ve been gone the next day had I not nabbed it first (at least that’s what I’m saying to convince myself it was worth the $20 early admission). Another good thing about getting in early is it gave me a good lay of the land. I figured out who and what I should be checking out the next day.

On Sunday morning, I got in early again, but this time more of the tables actually had toys on ‘em. Good thing, or I would been severely disappointed.

(Click to enlarge)

I know I’ve always mentioned how the photos I take don’t really capture the essence of these large toy shows, so I actually took some video footage of each hall. What you’ll see here are walthrough clips of the two toy halls – The West Hall (which was filled with more antiquey and automotive stuff) and the East Hall (which seemed to be more kitschy and “modern”).

Don’t worry, the videos are really quick, but they’ll make you seasick. (Unfortunately, the East Hall video ends a bit too soon, because I ran out of space on my memory card. In fact, that’s the main reason I have so few photos to show you.) Enjoy.

West Hall

East Hall

(Click to enlarge)

G.I. Joe Headquarters. Does it get any cooler than that? Nope? Then you should probably stop reading now.

(Click to enlarge)

On the first night, I picked up this set of “Tales from the Cryptkeeper” toys. (Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that these are from a lame cartoon series trying to make the old EC Comics and HBO series fun and child-friendly? Sure looks like it.) I got a great deal on them… or at least I thought so. After I bought them I noticed their old price stickers. They were from Kay-Bee and sold 3 for $5.00. Ha!! If only I’d seen ‘em years ago.

(Click to enlarge)

Next, I bought a handful of windups. The carded ones are some strange, celebrity caricatures. The only ones I recognize are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Jackson (The rest must be fütbol stars or something ). I also picked up the Q*bert, the little, orange ball guy, and a freaky-looking Fozzie. Really freaky.

(Click to enlarge)

The last set is probably what people would expect at these shows. Vintage 80s He-man toys. Well, as you can see, some are Masters of the Universe, but others are knockoffs or monsters from Dungeons and Dragons and Inhumanoids.

The coolest piece is the Conan figure. It’s pretty rare, and I got a pretty good deal on it. Unfortunately, it’s not even for me. In fact, most of those fantasy figures were for a buddy of mine (it pays to be buddies with Weirdo Toys I tell ya). Don’t worry. I didn’t do it out of the kindness of my heart. I did it for a trade

(Click to enlarge)

I’m thinking this guy didn’t sell a single one of these Beanie Babies. Not sure what he was thinking.

(Click to enlarge)

Looking back on it, I’m not sure if the show is really worth it. Well, lemme take that back. If you’re within an hour or two drive, it’d be great, but I drove from South Carolina. That’s a long-ass way (I type this knowing I’ll probably go next year. It wouldn’t be as bad if I could get a small group to share in the expenses).

It cost me more in food, shelter and gas than I spent on toys. And not only that, but most of the cool toys I wanted were way overpriced (I sure sound like a cheapskate huh?). I’m serious. This isn’t like the Allentown Antique Toy Show were the toys are inherently expensive. This is a case of selling a dirty, broken-armored, incomplete He-Man figure for $25 (the one I got was nicer and cheaper by the way). Gimme a break. I even had a guy laugh in my face when trying to negotiate a price on a toy (Oh well. Just another guy I’ll never buy from if I ever see him again). It’s almost as if some of the sellers are there just to show you what cool stuff they have, having no real intention of selling anything (you know… like I do on this blog ).

In the end, it wasn’t too bad. There were plenty of nice folks with great deals – all there to share in the joy of toys. I’m happy I had the opportunity to be in York to do a little toy shopping, and I’m glad I have this opportunity to share it with you all.

Maybe I will go again next year. Who’s with me?

• Buy antique toys on eBay!

DC Comics Antique Cake Toppers

Justin Gammon — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:39:06 +0000

Alright, let’s see what we’ve got this time.

Oh yes – freaky, little chubby men dressed as some of DC Comics’ most iconic superheroes.

(Click to enlarge)

Superman

(Click to enlarge)

Batman…

(Click to enlarge)

Robin…

(Click to enlarge)

… and Captain Marvel (who some folks call “Shazam”).

No matter how horrible they may be, you have to admit, these characters are immediately recognizable. Is that because they have classic, well-designed costumes?

Nah.

The characters have just been around for so long, their colors and patterns are burned into our brains. You could put a chimpanzee in blue and red pajamas, and I’m sure everyone would say he’s Superchimp. (Even without the logo.)

Superchimp photo courtesy of BigStockPhoto.com.

Anyway, back to my point. These are some ugly-ass toys, but they’re great. It’s their superbly poor production values that make these things so unique and interesting.

I actually picked ‘em up at a toy show several months back. These lil’ guys have no markings at all, but the dealer I bought ‘em from says they’re cake-toppers from the 60s.

(Click to enlarge)

Cake toppers, huh?

I dunno. Seems like a possibility I guess. They do have holes on the bottom for you to conveniently cram a candle up their butts.

How would you feel if you saw these things on your birthday cake? I’d be excited

Superman
(Click to enlarge)

Batman
(Click to enlarge)

Robin
(Click to enlarge)

Captain Marvel
(Click to enlarge)

I have no clue who made these things or even if they’re even official merchandise released by DC Comics.

As I stated early, they are just bizarre, “not-quite-right” 2.25″ versions of some of our favorite superheroes. So what if they are just cheap (actually, they were a tad costly), little pieces of crap. They are fun.

I’m pretty sure any kind of licensed DC Comics cake topper (or any toy for that matter) produced today would be generic and more strictly follow a model sheet or standards guide. It would probably look something like this.

Superman Cake Topper photo courtesy of CelebrateExpress.com.

Where’s the fun in that? That guy actually looks kinda like Superman. Lame

On a side note – while researching these cake toppers, I came across some more mini statues that were very, very similar to what I’ve shown you (if not the original versions these pieces were based on).

These Capt. Marvel and Robin toys were actually listed as rubber pencil toppers on Gasoline Alley Antiques website and were made in Hong Kong in 1970. I actually found the Batman figurine in Reis O’Brien’s (of Geek Orthodox fame) About.com’s “Batman collection” article. His is supposedly made in China, and it has a completely different look as well.

My mini superhero cake toppers are hard plastic (maybe even very hard sugar?). They have no markings at all, and they’re painted a lot more haphazardly.

Any ideas?

• Buy DC mini figures on eBay!

Man Surrounded by Toys He Can’t Afford at Antique Toy Show

Justin Gammon — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:20:37 +0000

As you may or may not know, the Allentown Antique Toy Show was a couple weeks ago (November, 7 2009 to be exact). If you follow me on Twitter, you probably read all about my experiences there, but now it’s time for a quick recap of what actually went down that weekend.

Well, one thing I did differently this year, is I paid for the “early bird,” which allowed me access to the show a day early to shop with the toy dealers. It also allowed me to get in early the next morning for the public show. I’d like to say it was worth it, but I only bought three things.

These robots.

(Click to enlarge)

They’re called Ding-a-Lings, but let’s save the details for another blog entry

Okay. I didn’t buy much at the show, but another good benefit of going, was my discovery of various toys that I may be able to pick up cheaper on eBay or something. In fact, I’ve already picked up a Halloween skeleton push puppet I wanted for $3 which was going for $48 at the show. Ridiculous huh?

(Oh, and I also got to catch up with a Weirdo Toys reader and fellow toy enthusiast, Ben, so that was really cool.)

I took a bunch of photos of the show. Instead of posting them all here, I’ve actually uploaded them to my Flickr Account. You can check ‘em out in this slideshow.

As I did the last time I went to Allentown, I think I’ll just break it all down into “lessons learned.”

(Click to enlarge)

1. It is truly awe-inspiring to be surrounded by so much toy history.
I said it two years ago, and I’ll say it again – the toy show is awesome. There is just so much toy history everywhere. I wasn’t able to adequately take it all in. It’d be great to document every piece and hear its story… but that’s impossible. So, I’ve tried to do the quicky, day trip version. Ha! As you you’ll see in the slideshow, the toys ranged from old, handmade mammy dolls to more modern batman hairbrushes. The show was a weird mish-mash of stuff, but that’s what made it so interesting.

(Click to enlarge)

2. Antique toys cost way too much.
Of course it’s pricey. Who the hell goes to an antique show looking for cheap, garage-sale-priced toys (me)? That’s not my complaint. My complaint is the apparent markup of so much stuff. A quick Google or eBay search of the same items on location resulted in my finding the pieces for twice or 10 times less than the dealers were asking. That’s the main reason I didn’t buy much. I know a lot of it is antique, so it’s bound to be pricey, but I’m talking about pieces that I know the value of – stuff from 70s/80s that have a triple or quadruple mark up. Maybe it’s because I’m a young, poor whipper-snapper, they don’t wanna haggle with me. They know they can get “Grampa Joe” to pay the hefty prices ‘cuz he has the money.

(Click to enlarge)

3. Antique toys aren’t collected by anyone under 40.
I’m 32 (going on 33). I’m not super-young, but in this place, I felt like Baby New Year. I’m not even trying to be cruel. It was really great seeing such passion and interest in the toy hobby at an older age. I hope to be just as passionate about weirdo toys when I’m in my 70s. And hopefully I’ll have a bigger budget as well.

(Click to enlarge)

4. Toy vendors don’t like their toys photographed.
I took several photos at the show, and toy vendors were pissed. I first tried to be cordial, and ask permission from every vendor whose table I shot. There was so much apprehension and awkwardness. The majority of them truly were bothered and upset with the mere thought of my photographing their collections. Eventually, instead of dealing with the grief of those interactions, I decided to just snap a shot and keep on moving.

I didn’t use a flash. I’m not posting these photos on eBay to act like I’m selling them. Sheesh. Let a man invade your privacy for just a millisecond

(Click to enlarge)

Well, that’s about it. See ya around Allentown. Can’t say it was a nice visit, but the toy show was kinda cool. Not sure when I’ll see you again. Maybe in five years time or something.

• Buy antique toys on eBay!

Magic Monster by Heartland

Justin Gammon — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:48:18 +0000

Well, it’s hard to believe, but I actually have a bunch of new info about that mysterious windup, musical demon lumberjack I was so excited about (and desperate for) weeks ago.

I’m not sure if you recall, but in that video, we saw a freaky, distorting, rubber face placed on an animatronic, musical lumberjack-type of character (I’m calling him a lumberjack because he’s wielding an axe and he’s wearing boots and overalls).

The thing was so bizarre, I could’ve sworn it was “homemade.” I kind of recognized the look of the rubbery-face and figured it was a finger puppet placed on some weird holiday toy or something.

That lead to my search and discovery of this generic set of rubber-faced finger puppets.

(Click to enlarge)

Jackpot! Not only did I get some weird-looking little finger puppets, but it appears that the demon-looking character from the video is in the bunch.

Okay, now that I’ve acquired the rubber faces, all I needed is the strange lumberjack toy.

Well, thanks to the help of some of you readers and a little bit of detective work, I discovered that this toy is called “Magic Monster.” Once I’d acquired that information, it would only be a matter of time before the toy gods sent this Magic Monster my way.

(Click to enlarge)

Luckily for me, when the monster reared its ugly face, it came fully-functioning and complete with its original box. (Thanks toy gods!)

It’s not a lumberjack toy at all. It is, in fact, simply a nonsensical, axe-wielding monster that sways back-and-forth to the tune of “When the Saints Go Marching In.” Who’d have thunk it?

(Click to enlarge)

Not only that, but I also discovered the face on the original toy isn’t the one in the video, so I was correct in assuming the video was a “custom” job. I never expected this face to be on the toy.

Wow? That’s one ugly son of a bitch.

And just as I thought – the “head” of the toy actually has a few protruding pegs which stretch the removable, rubbery face stretch, bringing it to life.

(Click to enlarge)

Here’s a full figure view for ya. I kinda feel that they cheaped it with the head sculpt. I know there were probably some technical limitations, but the round helmet dome thing just isn’t cutting it.

(Click to enlarge)

And as you may have guessed, the animatronic head perfectly accommodates the “finger holes” of the various face puppets.

This is too perfect.

Do you know what this means? I can bring each face to life, giving the freaky axe maniac multiple personalities.

(Click to enlarge)

We’ve got the demon-looking guy.

(Click to enlarge)

The angry, mustached man, who actually looks like an axe murder (or angry lumberjack).

(Click to enlarge)

The crazy old man (or is that Michael Berryman)

(Click to enlarge)

And here we have the creepy child molester. (This guy’s probably scarier than the original monster.)

You think they look cool as stills? Wait ’til you see ‘em in action.

(Click to enlarge)

I’ve gotta warn ya though. The music in these videos will get on your nerves. “When the Saints Go Marching In” plays loudly from a speaker in his feet. Not only that, but you have the obnoxious internal mechanism of the toy continuously grinding while the song is playing . It’s basically every parents’ nightmare.

(Click to enlarge)

Also notice the axe has a light in it and glows red. Scaaary.

I noticed my monster toy’s axe is facing forward and not sideways as featured on the box and even in that other video. Hm.

So, which one is your favorite? I think I like the mustached guy best. He just looks right in those clothes… plus his mouth full of teeth really makes his head movements more pronounced and lifelike. Now all I need is some more cool rubbery finger puppets. Any thoughts on where to find them?

After seeing this toy and these puppets. it begs the question: Which came first? Were the faces/puppets made for automated toys like Magic Monster, or was the toy made to accommodate the finger puppets that were already being produced?

The finger puppets don’t have much as far as markings go. All I can see is “® 986012 Made in China.”

(Click to enlarge)

Here’s all the info taken from the Magic Monster box:

Magic Monster
Face with a thousand changes
An axe that lights up
Moves from side to side
Even plays music (the saints go marching in)
1/#21828C
©1985 Justen
“transformable face”

(Check out that front panel. They’ve totally masked out the big dome head behind the monster’s face. Bull. The toy looks so much better with just the floating face. And did you notice the “©1985 Justen?” Weird, huh?)

Actually, there is one other question this toy makes me ask: What the hell?

• Buy rare monster toys on eBay!

• Buy rubber finger puppets on eBay!

And the sleazy winner is…

Justin Gammon — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 16:17:52 +0000

Mick!!

You win an official Mr. Sleaze and FooFoo Dog (complete with torn-open packaging) along with the Apple Devil T-shirt! Congratulations!

(Oddly enough you were the first person to comment. I swear it was a random drawing.)

And to all of you who entered, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wish I had toys for all of you, but I’m just a lowly weirdo toy lover. I have no sponsors or anything like that.

As always, thanks for the continued support of the Weirdo Toys blogs. I love hearing from fellow toy lovers.

Here are some of the prominent thoughts from your comments:

You want more updates with the possibility of guest bloggers. - It’s a good idea for sure. I need to start my search for suckers
You like the idea of discussion boards (most of you anyway). – I’ll look into that. Last thing I wanna do is create a board and have no community using it.
You like the photos (and commentary) and would like to see them as downloadable desktop wallpapers. – That’s been a request for a long time. Now that I have a better camera, this may be a possibility.

That’s it for now. Have a great week (I think Mick will).

Second Annual Weirdo Toy Giveaway

Justin Gammon — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 06:00:46 +0000

Well, whadaya know? Another whole year of weirdo toy blogging has gone by.

There is something I’ve noticed that is drastically different this year; I’ve written a lot less – especially as of late. I’d like to apologize. I know how fun it can be to find a screwed-up weirdo toy waiting in your RSS blog reader every week. Trust me, It’s just as much fun for me to post one. I’ve just been super-busy, because I’ve been planning a wedding (it’s only a few weeks away). And on top of that, I recently lost my job (yep), so blogging and toy hunting haven’t been on the priority list

I don’t know what I expect you to do with that information. I usually try not to get too personal here on the blog. I just wanted you to know, there have been distractions lately, and I’m not neglecting you all or the blog intentionally.

You know what? What the hell. Maybe I’ll get even more personal.

Here’s a pic of me and my bride-to-be, Nadine. She’s no weirdo toy lover, but she is cool enough to let some toys sit atop the wedding cake.

Cute huh?

Alright, back to the giveaway.

Not much has changed on the blog at a glance. I’ve continued finding cool weirdos here and there, photographing them and writing about them as usual. One major evolution for Weirdo Toys this year has been its steps into the social media realm.

First is the Twitter account. I have to admit the Weirdo Toys twitter account has really grown on me. It’s been great fun and such a great opportunity to connect with fellow fans, bloggers, toy lovers, designers, musicans, etc. I’ve made some great connections and have made some good “virtual” friends all while writing in 140 characters or less. It’s also allowed me an opportunity to share other toy finds that never really make it to the blog, so if you’re not following Weirdo Toys on Twitter, you’re missing out. It’s not the end-all be-all that some make it out to be, but it is a fun little social circle if you’re not on there just spamming everyone.

Secondly, I also started a Facebook fan page for Weirdo Toys. Unfortunately, no one is really using it (including myself), so it’s just kind of a weirdo ghost town right now. I do send alerts to the fans when I update the blog, so that could be useful I guess.

Let’s see. Another thing I did a few times was the Weirdo Google Searches which people seemed to enjoy. It was kind of pathetic for me, because for a while there, I was posting those lists more than toys. I still find them pretty entertaining. I just pulled back on them for a bit, because there wasn’t enough toy activity to have me blogging every couple of weeks about weird keyword searches. I do have a visions for those searches though. Maybe some day I can put them on t-shirts or something.

Oh yeah, that reminds me. This year also marked the first item for sale on the blog – the Apple Devil T-shirt that everyone claimed to love until I produced them… then no one was to be found. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Maybe with the next shirt design, I’ll post some designs and let folks pre-order before I commit to producing them. I still love the shirt, and I’m really glad I had it made (Buy one now!)

And now, the part you’ve been waiting for – the giveaway.

As I did last year, I’m giving away the toy I posted yesterday, which is the Charles Bronson wannabe, Mr. Sleaze, and his dog, FooFoo. You get the toys, the package card and the separated bubble. Not only that, but I’m throwing in an Apple Devil T-shirt!

So, if you answer these 3 questions in the comments form, you’ll have a chance to be the proud owner of a new weirdo toy and t-shirt depicting one.

How’d you discover the Weirdo Toys blog?
What are your favorite (or least favorite) parts of the blog and why?
What would you like to see on the blog (like downloads, discussion boards, etc.)?

Next week, I’ll pull one of the commenter’s names at random and announce a winner. Be sure to include a valid e-mail address, because if I can’t get in touch with you, you’re S.O.L.

Thanks for your time, your readership and your continued support. (I don’t like reading my own blog entries, so I’m glad you’re here )

See you soon.

Mr. Sleaze with FooFoo Dog

Justin Gammon — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:22:35 +0000

Months ago, I discovered the awesome Charles Bronson lookalike figure.

(Click to enlarge)

Alright, maybe he’s not a Charles Bronson figure, but what’s not to love about this guy’s dated, 70s-style suit, big-ass tie, bling-rings and pompadour hair style.

I’m tellin’ ya. It totally reminds me of the guy.

Once I started playing with the figure, I immediately discovered he had a little trick up his sleeve… er… necktie.

You squeeze his legs, and he raises his arms in surrender. But watch out!

(Click to enlarge)

A hidden gun flips out from underneath his necktie.

(Click to enlarge)

Now that’s a pretty funny gag. The cops tell him to “freeze” so he does… all while gunning them down. Pretty comical.

(Actually, it’s pretty harsh. Gunning people down was always a Charles Bronson thing. Maybe this is a Bronson figure.)

Since I bought the figure loose, I didn’t know it at the time. This figure is Mr. Sleaze. He’s from the Police Academy toy series that was released in 1989 by Kenner.

As a youngster, I was a fan of the movies, but I recall seeing commercials and things for the show and remember thinking it looked really, really awful.

The live-action Rated-R movie was bad enough, but now they made a kid-friendly version (reminds me of the Toxic Crusaders toy from a while back)?

Police Academy went from this…

… to this.

Pretty goofy.

Well, just recently, I found Mr. Sleaze on card (for those who don’t know, that means he was still sealed in his package) and didn’t know it was possible, but the accessory he comes packaged with makes him an even better figure.

(Click to enlarge)

He comes with a poodle.!

A freakin’ poodle? Ha!

(Click to enlarge)

Yep. This evil, sleazy bad guy may have a soft spot for cute, lil’ fluffy poodles… or not.

(Click to enlarge)

You see, Mr. Sleaze isn’t the only one with something to hide. FooFoo Dog here is one ugly son of a bitch (literally).

(Click to enlarge)

FooFoo acts like a delicate, pretty dog, but when you least expect it, he rears his ugly head to bite you, eat your sandwich or pee on your leg.

This dog definitely looks disturbed. He kinda reminds me of a sad, old man.

(Click to enlarge)

Other than the googly-eyed, goofy face, I think my favorite part of FooFoo is his hairstyle. Look at that thing. He’s got the same pompadour haircut of his master.

That’s such a great detail. I’m thinking this haircut is funnier than anything in the cartoon ever was (Just an FYI – I’m judging the hell out of the cartoon without ever seeing it.).

Also, after buying the figure on card, I actually discovered Mr. Sleaze isn’t as sleazy as I’d hoped.

(Click to enlarge)

The gun under his necktie is actually just a “gasser gun,” so I’m sure it was used in the cartoon to knock out the good guys or make them laugh w/ laughing gas or some crap like that.

Wuss.

The cartoony drawings on the package are fun and goofy, but they seem a bit underdeveloped and sloppy (kinda like the whole cartoon series. ZING!)

(Click to enlarge)

The toys also seem a bit lame. These are all basically cutesified versions of the dysfunctional characters from the movies. They don’t seem too interesting in exaggerated cartoon form.

(Click to enlarge)

I never played “cops and robbers” as a kid, so maybe that’s why I never cared about this series (plus I was 12, so I’m sure that had something to do with it). Looking back at them all, I think the villains interest me the most, but that’s probably true with every toy series.

• Buy Police Academy Figures on eBay!