[See all Notional Significance posts]

My narrative has been marooned in Johnsonville for over eight months, a fate that, if not actually worse than death, is perilously close to it. In fact, it is exactly a year since I walked this section of road, and last week’s remembrance was the spur I needed to get the writing going again. So I resume, having left the hydrological pull of Wellington, following State Highway 1 downstream and deeper into New Zealand.

Middleton Road winds lazily down the valley, a nondescript suburban street, while the motorway hums away invisibly behind its arboreal screen. There’s the faintest sense of a buried stream, somewhere down in the filled-in gully, where the houses somehow contrive to look dark and damp even in the harsh summer sun. Nothing could be further from national significance.

But soon a steep, scrubby bank rises to my left, and this is where the Old Porirua Road once negotiated a perilous incline from what’s now Bassett Road down to where I’m now walking. It was so steep and difficult that it was known as “Russell’s Folly” for generations after it was bypassed, and Captain Russell’s reputation never quite recovered from his dubious engineering decisions. Some time after his regiment forced the road through this treacherous terrain, in the tense years of Ngāti Toa’s resistance campaigns, a gun wagon failed to take the grade and crashed down the bluff, where its cannons were lost in the swampy stream below. This was not just the main road in and out of Wellington. This was the frontier.

It was, and still is, a frontier of settlement. The housing comes in waves, lapping up and down the contours of the valley, reflecting the styles of the fifties through to the eighties. But past the dairy and the still-raw cut of Churton Drive, things take a turn towards the feral. Spiked fences, furtive driveways, dark looming stands of macrocarpa. A white t-shirt hangs in the brambles, motionless in the still morning air. A stream emerges from its subterranean confinement, trickling darkly between broadleaf scrub and wilding sycamores. The footpath narrows, compressed between white cliff-side railings and a tanalised fence at shin height, a clumsy goad to keep pedestrians in their place.

The quasi-rural ambience is interrupted by Wingfield Place, the sort of gauche subdivision entrance that seeks to flaunt its special status via gratuitous intersection landscaping, in this case a lachrymiform islet of shrubs and boulders that does little more than further discomfit pedestrians. But before this, a gravel track leads down into a strange clearing: incongruous slopes of manicured grass set around a lone and lonely kowhai. I hear the sound of water on either side, see the rusty grilles at the entrance to two culverts, and deduce that the confluence is underground, perhaps beneath the brute land-bridge of Wingfield Place: there’s something faintly unwholesome about the whole concept.

I wander towards the eastern rivulet, and see a network of diminutive paths beaten into the undergrowth, bearing all the signs of childish adventuring among the forgotten commons. Recalling distant childhood memories, it’s hard not to be intrigued, even if they’d lead to nothing more a pile of rusty soft drink cans, but peering into the murk I get a surprise: dark iron wheels and gears, nestled amid the ferns and moth-eaten kawakawa. Pushing through the undergrowth I come across the ragged stumps of fence posts, a pair of corroded rails bridging the shallow gully, and most surprisingly, a minimalist concrete bunker, its rough aggregate succumbing to a green fur of algae, moss and ferns. I imagine factories and laboratories, secret military installations crumbling in this forgotten valley, overlooked and overgrown.

The truth, when I research it later, is more down-to-earth but at least as fascinating, and caught up in a surprising web of historic, cultural and geographic connections. This is the site of the Drake Homestead, just one corner of Thomas and Ceres Drake’s farm that once stretched across the hills of Paparangi and Newlands, a continuity now severed by the motorway. His own name may not be remembered here, but his illustrious ancestor Sir Francis proved a somewhat tenuous inspiration for the naming of Grenada Village across the highway. The Caribbean exploits of the Virgin Queen’s favourite pirate inspired the developers to give those staid and windswept streets such incongruously tropical names as “Guadeloupe”,” Trinidad” and “Curacao”.

Thomas Drake is said to have been the first to import Romney sheep, and his macrocarpa that still stand creaking over the valley were the first planted in the Province, their cones then seeding the Botanic Gardens. He founded the first brewery in Wellington, and this 100 acre holding was formed from the first land subdivision in New Zealand. Sheep, macrocarpas, gardens, beer and subdivision: a succinct expression of the Pākehā mythos.

The Decramastic tide of the late Pakeha dream now swirls all around the vanished homestead. The only visible signs of Drake’s legacy are the utilitarian relics of agricultural enterprise, mouldering into the resurgent bush, and the exotic arboreal aspirations of the old Etonian who planted cypress from Monterey and rhododendrons from the Himalayas.

North of Wingfield Place, the Porirua Stream makes another bid for daylight, and I find my way to a rough stream-side track. The more civic-minded locals have cleared the banks and planted native riparian species, but for now the effect is of a dry and barren landscape of pine stumps and recalcitrant gorse. Soon the stream retreats back underground, and the track delivers me back to the familiar exurban drosscape of chainlink fences, shipping containers, parking lots and white concrete tanks.

A private access road curves right towards a low warehouse. Street maps show an expanse of grey void, neither city nor park nor country, that non-space that signifies “nothing to see here”. The aerials show an almost endearingly bucolic landscape of paddocks and meandering streams. I’m aware that the curve of the old Porirua Road is taking me further from the motorway, and I’d resolved to stick as close as I could to the Road of National Significance that now drones at the far edge of audibility. Perhaps a spot of cross-country gorse-bashing and even some judicious trespassing is called for here, to explore the unseen edge of the highway?

At first it seems easy, though I’m wary of the bristling CCTV cameras that guard the shuttered warehouse doors. I slip around the side, into a cool piney shade, and look for ways down the bank, but it’s precipitous and guarded with barbed wire. At the rear, another fence thoroughly bars my way, with yet more fences and a rough gully still between me and the motorway’s retaining wall. A row of containers gathers dust and pine needles, and these symbols of fast-paced globalised commerce seem almost disconsolate when immobilised in such an innocuous location: slow, stagnant doldrums in the wake of  international capitalism’s dizzying maelstrom. The precursors of globalisation have left subtle traces throughout this valley, but the globe-trotting Drakes’ adventures have now been systematised and anonymised, stacked and abandoned.

I head back towards Middleton Rd, pausing to peer through the pines to the rolling paddocks beyond. Horses trudge and graze listlessly along dung-strewn terraces, penned between motorway, warehouse, and a dense, fenced-off enclave of homes. These townhouses without a town have been christened “Monterey”, but if this is supposed to evoke the Monterey Cypress, the Cupresses macrocarpa so beloved of the Drake family, then their conspicuous absence within the complex is beyond irony. The road winds on, into the widening landscape, the opening skies.

photo Phil Reid/ FAIRFAX NZ

It’s Academy Award day in LA and we know the answer to the fashion question of the day “what are you wearing?” for two Wellingtonians, Jana Barrett and Jennifer Bloomfield. The answer  = Voon.

Jana’s husband, Weta Digital’s Daniel Barrett (who will be wearing a Merino wool tuxedo), was the Animation Supervisor and Jennifer’s husband R.Christopher White was a Visual Effects Supervisor for Rise of the Planet of the Apes. This is the first Academy Award nomination for them both.

Sophie Voon’s been the go to designer for wedding and party dresses in Wellington for a long time, but this is her first time designing dresses for the Oscars.  Stay tuned to the Wellingtonista for a wee shop visit to her new bridal shop

This solo show starts with a welcome and karakia. After a serious start it flips into a madcap story.  As the action progresses we hear a man telling us the story of his life -  what his parents were like, why he went to Vietnam, what happened there, and what happened when he came back to New Zealand. It takes in multiple timelines and two worldviews. The story is fractured and the man is broken.While we laugh at the stories a sense of dread builds.

John Broughton has written a challenging script. Te Kohe Tuhaka does an incredible job to take us with him on this journey. He and director Nathaniel Lees have worked carefully to allow the character to come alive in an environment that makes it safe for the audience to watch. The design elements in this show work together to enhance the emotional arc of the story. There are some arresting images created by designer Daniel Williams and lighting designer Lisa Maule.  Sound design by Maaka McGregor is subtle and threatening.

Tremendous.

• Michael James Manaia on at Downstage to 4 March as part of the New Zealand International Arts Festival 2012

The New Zealand International Arts Festival opens tonight with a live event in conjuction with the launch of First Contact. It’s FREE, family friendly, and starts at 8:30pm outside Te Papa. There are visuals by Linechecker and music and dance from the Whitireia Performing Arts School, The Nomad, Horomona Horo, Rhombus in Dub and Rayjah45.

First Contact is part of the Visual Arts programme. Artist Michel Tuffery has been inspired by works inside Te Papa. He will be projecting his work onto the outside of Te Papa. Nice. You can download the soundtrack. Other Visual Arts exhibitions starting today are the The 4 Plinths Sculpture Project (outside Te Papa), Black in Fashion (Museum of Wellington City & Sea), The Obstinate Object  (City Gallery), and four solo exhibitions that offer different takes on documentary photography (Adam Art Gallery).

Wander past Waitangi Park earlier in the evening (6pm) and you’ll see Arcane.  Two performers clambering around a runaway set of wheels? Crazy. In a good way. They’re listed as part of the Theatre programme. Also opening tonight are internationals The Wild Bride  and The Rehearsal, Playing the Dane.  (Kiwi shows opening tomorrow -
Michael James Manaia, and Peninsula.)

For the Dance programme, Grupo Corpo from Brazil have two shows Parabelo and Onqotô to share with us.  In Music, the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra combine with amazing opera talent to bring us Oedipus Rex and Symphony of Psalms. Sadly there’s only one performance of this.

Oh, and I almost forgot the Festival Club. It’s back in the tent in Odlin’s Plaza on the Wellington waterfront. See you there!

If you’re on the Twitters, you would have seen yet another digusting piece of bigotry and bullshit churned out by Rosemary McLeod about how transgender people shouldn’t be parents.

The @dompost rebuttal? “The column is her opinion.”. Yes, and they’re the ones who paid for her to have that opinion published.

Luckily, the Queer Avengers are actually thinking about the children, (like how Trans people in New Zealand have a suicide rate 25 times higher than that of non-trans people) and have organised a protest for tomorrow.

Protest against transphobia in the media, like Rosemary Mcleod’s recent article in the Domnion Post which launches a bigoted attack on trans parents. It’s time to celebrate good parents, whatever their background or identity, and say no to transphobia.

The protest runs today, Friday February 24 from 12:30pm until 13:30 at the Dominion Post, 40 Boulcott St. More information is about the event on Facebook.

Oh, and for more Rosemary-related lols, you must read this rebuttal from a Wellington sex worker to one of Rosemary’s older columns about exploited prostitutes with dirty feet.

Ha ha ha, of course we’re kidding. Let’s talk about pancakes instead.We wanna know where Wellington’s best pancakes are at.

Today for lunch I went to Cafe Panama (in fact, I am still there. Woo!), and this is what I ate:

I thought I was ordering standard pancakes with banana and bacon for $11.50, but she asked me at the counter if I wanted white chocolate & raspberry ones, so I was like, oh hells yes. And it cost me an extra $2 for not really a whole lot extra flavour. The bacon was really good and crispy though, and I loved that I was given a whole bottle of maple (flavoured) syrup, except it had a funny pourer on it that really limited my flow. Still though, it was a good Shrove Tuesday lunch, and the table was big enough for me to read the Dom Post at, which is always a bonus.

Other pancakes of note around Wellington? Well Cafe Kiallas in Newtown has great rhubarb compote and cinnamon marscapone that they serve with theirs, but the service has really gone down hill over the past couple of years. Where’s your favourite place to get your cake’o the pan on?

After having a great evening at Fork and Brewer last week for the Official Wellingtonista Unofficial Webstock Wednesday Warmup, where large numbers of local beer and large platters of delicious nibbles were placed before us like the Web Royalty we wish/pretend/believe ourselves to be, I was extremely excited to hear about the event they are holding this Thursday. That’s right! Three days from now!

Stephen Beaumont, hailing from the land of maple syrup, Neil Young, moose, ice hockey and the lesser known Justin Beiber, is a food/beer/travel writer who has written for more publications than I dare mention and has travelled the world to do so. In short, Stephen is living my dream life!

The Fork & Brewer are hosting Stephen on Thursday night for a seven course beer and food matched dinner. Having eaten from their menu on a couple of occasions, and fallen in love with the Tuatara Porter Marshmallow, the prospect of sitting down and tasting the delectable beers that New Zealand has to offer, alongside a sample of New Zealand’s best cuisine is one that appeals.

So fellow Wellington beer and food enthusiasts – I urge you to take this opportunity to consume seven courses of fine food and draughts, with a man who knows what fine food and draughts truly are.

You can thank the Fork & Brewer along with Tuatara and Moa Breweries for this event. While Moa Brewery leaves a ‘bitter’ taste in the mouth (their ad campaigns, and halfhearted apologies re: previously mentioned campaigns, resulted in my avoiding their brews despite them obviously doing something right) I am a big Tuatara Ardennes fan and a fan of anyone encouraging the sampling of better beers and food in harmony.

What: Seven courses of fine NZ cuisine matched with local beer

Where: Fork & Brewer, 14 Bond St

When: Thursday 23rd February, 7pm

Price: $100 per person

Bookings: Contact Colin (04) 472 0033

The New Zealand Fringe Festival presents emerging artists in a festival of weird and wonderful performances around Wellington. The shows are are reasonably priced (or free) and are held in venues all over the city. The programme is full of shows, conveniently divided in the programme into genres -  Comedy, Dance, Music, Theatre, or Visual Arts.

They say “Be curious. Be brave. Take a chance and support our Fringe participants with your presence.” We say “Yes let’s!”

What have you seen in the New Zealand Fringe Festival? What are you planning to get to? What do you recommend?

Air New Zealand have recently launched a campaign to persuade reluctant Australians to choose New Zealand as a holiday destination. It turns out there are actually some people who aren’t aroused by the thought of scenery, sheep and extreme sports.

As part of this campaign, there’s a Rhys Darby-narrated series of videos, each smashing a particular stereotype about our fair country. So, what location is used to prove to a cool Sydney dude that New Zealand can actually has hipness? Why, yes, it’s Wellington!

Hipster Patrick from Sydney is tricked into going to Wellington and given a tour of the fair city’s cool corners by fashion blogger Isaac Hindin Miller. But here’s the hilarious thing – pretty much all the places they visit are among our favourites, and most have been TAWA nominees at some point.

While some of us will genuinely be concerned that their favourite places are no longer cool now that Air New Zealand has outed them as hipster joints, I think it’s great that a) urban New Zealand is being promoted as a tourist destination and b) these cool corners of Wellington are getting some attention.

Wellington rockers Supermodel are teaming up with Christchurch wave-makers Sleeping Dogs and kicking off the year with a North Island tour. They’ll be back in Wellington later this week. Both bands are promoting their UK-produced albums which were released in 2011.

Smith's Dream?

The Wellington show is the eighth of eight shows, so they’ll be niiiice and road-honed by the time they get here.

Press kit time:

Supermodel have been receiving rave reviews of their current LP, To the Mountains, with some critics calling the record “a real mover and shaker of a release”; that its “colour and punch… sets Supermodel apart from other bands on the Wellington landscape”. The record went straight to top position on the iTunes rock charts at the time of its release. Supermodel are a brilliant live act; tight vocal harmonies meld perfectly with concise and catchy rock arrangements that have beautiful sing-along choruses.

Sleeping Dogs are also touring their current album and have received similar reviews. Their songs have been described as “unavoidable, deep and unapologetic”, while their sound and style is “extravagant, big, epic and over-the-top, with long, long instrumental parts”. They, like Supermodel, secured the services of highly sought-after UK producer Greg Haver, along with the in-house mixing talents of Clint Murphy, giving their album Myth Reducer its huge, classic rock sound. The video of their single, Myth Reducer has been receiving airplay and music television rotation.

That sound bloody unmissable, doesn’t it? The fun happens at Bar Bodega, this Friday 17th February. Cover $10, tickets (and links) at www.undertheradar.co.nz.

You can score yourself a double pass to the show by correctly identifying the band in the photo (above). Is it Sleeping Dogs, or Supermodel? First correct answer in comments wins!

Supermodel and Sleeping Dogs

• Bar Bodega, Friday 17th February