Here is how to properly start and put out a toaster oven fire:

1. Put bread in toaster
2. Set it to toast
3. Go to remove finished toast from toaster
4. Knock piece of Toast through the rack on to the heating element.
5. Ignite toast on fire
6. First piece of toast should ignite second piece of toast on fire
7. Close door and hope it puts itself out
8. Realize it needs to be put out.
9. Unplug toaster from wall
10. Spray with fire extinguisher
11. Air out apartment
12. Enjoy huge mess
13. Take photos, spread story on internet
14. Put off cleaning up huge mess

I am guessing I should just throw out the toaster over, since it is now covered with fire powder.

When is the last time you lit something on fire?

Also just as a note… if you rent/own/stay at someones house with a kitchen, you should spend the 10-20$ on a fire extinguisher so you do not burn the fucking place down "When Good Bread Turns into BAD TOAST!"

I took a look out of my windows and it was crazy outside. The storm was heading straight south, I face north. I decided to take some photos and make a few movies.

I set up my nice camera to take long exposures of the sky… and with my other camera I filmed a movie.

The first clip I posted was of me filming once it started to rain. I zoomed in to see if I could get a better view of the rain coming down. To my surprise a giant bolt of lightning hit the roof about 50 feet from where I was filming. It was crazy loud and totally freaked me out. It happens at about the 14 second mark.

The second is a movie made from the time lapse photos and stitched them together.

This was not the craziest storm I have seen since I have lived here, but it was the closest lightning strike I have seen in a while. Last year my sister was over and we were making her wedding invitations when my biz partner called me and told me there was a tornado headed towards the city. We got out of the office and looked out side and it was just waves of rain. The roof next door had whitecaps on it. My entire wall was covered with water. The windows and doors were pulsating with the wind. I thought they were going to blow inward. We ended up going to the bunker like basement of the building that is attached and waited for it to pass over. There were others down there as well. When it was over we called our mom and told her we were alive. That may have been the worst storm I have seen.

It seems like I am no longer in control of my days. They just come and go and stack a large pile of whatever it is in front of me. Enough to keep me busy or annoyed and with my "eye no longer on the prize".

At this point I do not even know what the prize is. Is there even one? It seems like the harder you work, the more you get fucked over. At least as far as taxes are concerned.

Speaking of taxes, where is my refund? This is the first year I owned a home. If you can call it that. More like a money trap, but aren't they all? Buyer beware. Do not buy a condo. Why did no one warn me? Thanks a lot pal.

As far as the recession is concerned (can I call it a recessions?), what is really going on with that? I followed the markets and gave up. I made some quick money (like $200 – go me) and got out while it was still liquid. Unemployment is at an all time high, but it seems like spending may be only slightly lower. I wish I owned a credit card company.

Beyond this stuff it seems like it is finally starting to warm up. I guess that is a good thing. I will miss the weather as my excuse to be anti social. I guess I will need to resort to being fat, old, bald and lazy

Since we are talking about age, happy birthday to my grandma and gramps… 93 and 95.

Outside of that, I am going to Europe for a 2 weeks in May- June, anyone want to come with or meet up?

Thinking of extending things longer and doing some traveling. Figure I may as well go for longer since I will taking the time off, and probably taking on a pretty large new project/business in the next few months. So it may be some "well deserved" rest until the next stressful part of my life.

I also got an iPhone. Lol.

Loyal reader, what is up with you?

About 8 years ago I had an hourly job and I was contractor… I would work too fast and run out of things to do and have to go home early. My boss taught me to slow down so I would always have work to do and get a bigger paycheck

One day she was not at work, so I got her cushy aeron chair and decided to kill some time in my own creative way.

These were all made w/out photoshop using nothing more than a flatbed scanner looking down and moving my head as the moving part of the scanner went on by.

I used to get $15/hr as a graphic designer there, so I am guessing I made about $5 to make these. I had these filed away and I am glad I kept them. You can see the whole set at Flickr. Now I am sharing them with the world. What do you think of them? What do you do to kill time at the job you hate?

Being the genius I am, I am came up with a much better plan to use that money:

According to the census.gov population clock, the current population in the US is: 305,767,035

If you take 800 billion and divide it by the US population you get $2610 per person.

I say screw anyone who never paid in, so you cut out the people who have not paid taxes. According to wikipedia, there are 138 million taxpayers in the US.

So now you take 800 trillion and divide it by 138 million taxpayers: $5797 per tax payer!

Now you just do not give that money away!

You have a strict set of rules that people need to follow in order to get the full amount:

1. You must spend the money within 60 days – I think this is the most important. People will just save it if you let them. So do not let them.
2. You can pay down dept with money, including medical, educational, mortgages, credit cards, etc.  However you must have the debt for at least 120 days prior to the date when this announced and have proof of it, or maybe a low/crappy credit score/be in collections, etc etc.
3. If you do not have debt, pat yourself on the back, but get some "good dept" (lol). You can use this money towards a down payment to either first time home purchase, new car/boat/plane/motorcycle/jet ski (not used, and has to be in the dealers inventory)
4. You must spend the money within the USA. Sorry foreign countries, print your own money.

Now if you fail to meet that criteria, you can still get some "free stimulus" to help out other sectors. You would need rules on this too:

• Set the limit slightly less of the debt recovery section. Maybe $5000?
• 30-60 day expiration period on these "government gift cards".
• Maybe they are made by Visa or Amex, whoever wants to get on board.
• Make them in the following denominations; $250, $500, $1000, $2000, $5000. That would force people to think about what they want or need. Also you would allow it for anything in those sectors except for giftcards.
• Make it as good as cash, but only to places who accept VISA/Amex/MC. Since that stuff is trackable it screws any cash only businesses from the stimulus.

These are the sectors I am thinking you could get cards in:

1. Travel: you can get $5000 to blow on a trip anywhere in the US, airfare, hotels, meals, etc OR You can get $5000 to book a return trip anywhere in the world. You could also just get the $5000 travel card and eat out for every meal in your own city for that 30-60 day expiration period.
2. Retail:  Superstores like Amazon/Walmart/Target would fit in here, and you could use this for anything in the store. You could use it at any mall, any clothing store, etc, etc, etc. I would think hardware stores and such would fit in here as well.
3. Grocery: If groceries are your concern get a few grocery cards. Stock up and remember they expire in 60 days.
4. Service: auto repair, work on your home, massages, etc etc etc
5. Education: You could use it for existing school, or use it "as good as cash' towards any real college.
6. Dept: As mentioned above.

Obviously this plan needs some fine tuning but I think it is a pretty good start. I think it may be better if you issue it as a whole new currency… like a whole separate "credit card" system.

I kind of like the name "Bailout Bucks" better than "Government Gift Cards".

What are your thoughts, what would you change/add to this?

I think I would get $1000 in travel and visit some friends, $1000 in service and do some work around the house (better insulation, new drywall in some spots, ceiling fan, and paint), $2000 in retail for new appliances and $500 in travel for eating out like a maniac. I would also drink on it if that was allowed.

If you got this money would you pay down debt? or what would you blow it on? Foriegners, are you jealous of us Americans?

Dear Mr. Redenbacher,

Orville I know you are dead, but your family / ConAgra foods are tainting your good name and the quality company you once built.  First off a few years ago they made a really creepy computer generated version of yourself which I covered here: Orville Redenbacher – Back From The Dead. Now they are using your sweet face and name on a box that is FULL OF LIES.

I was shopping at the grocery store and went down the snack soft drink isle and though I would like some sweet sweet popcorn. So I browsed the different types, and saw one that sounded good. Orville Redenbacher's Kettle Korn – "Slightly sweet & slightly salty". It sounded perfect. A quick glance at the box, I see your pretty face on it, along with the words "Naturally Sugar Free".  Perfect, I throw it in my cart, head home, and pop, pop, POP it up a few days down the road.

At first all is good, but then I get a sickening sweet/wrong taste in my mouth after eating this. A similar aftertaste when you eat something with SweetNLow or one of those other chemical sweeteners. So I drink a glass of water, try and shake it and check out the box. Sure enough Orville, you rascally ol' devil, you slipped in the unnatural/disgusting/etc ARTIFICIAL sweetener Sucralose in it (street name of Splenda).

So on the front of your box it says, "Naturally Sugar Free", and on the back of the box it shows an artificial/potentially unsafe sweetener called Sucralose.

Being both old and dead, I am guessing you do not know what Sucralose is… let me give you some quotes and some links to follow up on.

A Sugar Association complaint to the Federal Trade Commission points out that "Splenda is not a natural product. It is not cultivated or grown and it does not occur in nature." – wikipedia

Sucralose is derived from sugar through a patented, multi-step process that selectively substitutes three chlorine atoms for three hydrogen-oxygen groups on the sugar molecule. The tightly bound chlorine atoms create a molecular structure that is exceptionally stable. – IFIC

SPLENDA® Sucralose is manufactured by a multi-step patented process which starts with cane sugar. The process selectively replaces three hydrogen-oxygen groups on the sugar molecule with three chlorine atoms. The result is a sweetener that is approximately 600 times sweeter than sugar. – Tate & Lyle (patent owners)

So last I checked, most things that are NATURAL, do not go through a multi step – patented process that replaces parts of the molecules with chlorine atoms.

Here are some pictures (click on them to see the full details) just so you do not think I am trying to pull an 'ol fasty on big Orv:

So there you have it Orville, I hope I have showed you that there is nothing natural about sucralose, and that your are full of it when you put "Naturally Sugar Free" on your Kettle Korn popcorn box. I am truly disappointed in you Mr. Redenbacher, and hope that you do what you can to see that this little slip up gets corrected. In the future please keep Sucralose out of your products, or do not try to pass them off as "Naturally Sugar Free".

Your long time fan,

George aka Werty aka "The Trose"

Well the other day Google released Picasa version 3 which has a pretty sweet feature, which allows you to dump a bunch of photos into a movie… I thought this was cool but played with it, and could not get it anywhere fast enough to where I wanted. Then Graywolf told me about the timelapse setting and I was "off to the races".

It took me a few attempts to get things right, and I still think a few parts are off… mainly the beginning and end… but it is a start.

I searched around the interweb and found pretty much free public use music at Mus Open. So I added that, adjusted the frames per second in Picassa, and exported it when it was a good length.

I have roughly 21,000 other digital photos spanning from 1998 to the present, and would like to do something with all of them… so if nothing else this is a start.

You can either watch it in the right hand column or directly on youtube by following this link, or on VIMEO (recommended) with this link.

Let me know what you think.

The Country Club Steakhouse at Wynn Review

The Country Club Steakhouse – Excellent service, great appetizer, salad was blah, good wine selection, steak was over cooked, the environment was a bit noisy, and the televisions were distracting. Without the TV’s this would have been much more enjoyable experience. Had the New York strip.

I really expected more out of this place. It was the first restaurant I went to on this trip and I spent a ton of money and got a mediocre meal. I have had better steaks at places half the price. I guess part of the “charm” of this place it is at the Wynn, which if you ask me is a pretty pretentious, excessive and overpriced Casino. Maybe I am cheap, thrifty or have a better head on my shoulders… but I would not recommend wasting the money here.

Envy Steak House Review

Envy Steakhouse @ Renaissance – very nice setting, good wine selection, good salad, excellent sides, excellent steak, seemed understaffed compared to the other steakhouses I went to. Steak was cooked perfectly. 16 oz bone in fillet, which was a new treat for me. Not sure if I have ever had a bone in filet before. It allowed the steak to retain more juice and flavor, plus it was more of a reasonable size than a porterhouse.
The fries here were insanely good. I think they were fries with truffle oil on them, something like that. They were perfectly cooked, seasoned perfectly as well, and a nice crispness to them.

When I mention that it seemed under staffed, we had one waitor for a table of 12 or so. He did do a fine job handling the whole thing, but some of the nice places I have been to seem to work in teams and more or less attack a table with attentiveness. They waiter did a great job, don’t get me wrong, but for 12 people I would think maybe 2 or 3 should tag team it.

I think like any steakhouse in Vegas the prices are a bit inflated. I was quite happy with this meal, and did not have to find my way through a casino to get here. I would defiantly recommend this restaurant or hotel to anyone who is going to Las Vegas for a conference at the convention center and has no interest in gambling.

Del Frisco's Las Vegas Review

Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steakhouse – amazing service, perfect cocktails from the bar, excellent wine list, nice atmosphere, excellent seafood (shrimp starter and crab cake), 8oz fillet. 18oz was the smallest lobster, which we all thought was ridiculous.

We had a table of maybe 9 or 10 guys head out to this place. The staff was super friendly and we had a team handle the table. They were a bit less “professional” than your normal upscale restaurant, but provided some good fun and entertainment with us. We got into some jokes and one of the guys pulled the “do you have any ketchup” routine for the excellent steaks that were served.

The cocktails at Del Frisco’s were PERFECT. The guy next to me ordered a Vodka Gimlet and they made it with fresh squeezed lime juice. It was the perfect strength. I wish I would have ordered that instead of my Makers and Ginger.

There was a huge group of hungry guys and we tried a variety of appetizers. We got a few shrimp starters which contained 3 types of shrimp. This was great. And then a few orders of crab cakes. These crab cakes were huge and had large chunks of crab in them. I would say the best crab cakes I have ever eaten.

When it came to the steak I went with fillet because I was not hungry enough to handle a porterhouse. The steak was delicious. One of the better steaks I have ever eaten.

As we were leaving we got to see the “James Bond Wine Rack” which is some crazy table that opens up into a wine cellar and then closes.

I would totally recommend Del Frisco’s to anyone needing to take a group out, or to anyone who loves a great meal and can afford this upscale restaurant.

Hugo's Cellar Review

Hugo’s Cellar – shitty casino, dark and dirty. Awesome wine selection, excellent salad cart, good bread, huge portions, great pieces of meat, lacks creamed spinach. Excellent service.

I did not know what to expect when I went to Hugos Cellar, but was not expecting much when I had to go to the old strip and through one of these dark and seedy casinos. Once you go down to the basement you are greeted by friendly staff.

The service here was great. The atmosphere was more “old school” and seedy, but still enjoyable. The prices were reasonable and the food was delicious.

The wine selection was great and there was an on staff sommelier. We had a “wine expert” at the table, and he and the sommelier discussed various things that were over my head. We ended up getting 2 or 3 excellent bottles of wine and champagne to start.

After you order the waiter comes around with this salad cart which is like a portable salad bar and makes a great salad for you right at the table. One of the people at the table was allergic to shellfish and he made sure, that nothing he touched ever touched a shrimp.

By this point of my trip I was “steaked out” and had to switch up. I switched to a prime rib. (c: The prime rib was terrific. It pretty much could have been cut with a fork, and was served with a delicious sauce and horseradish.

The highlight of this meal was when we got the bill. We all covered the organizer of this event, and had way more than enough wine. The bill was less than half of what I spent the other nights, and the food was terrific.

I would defiantly recommend Hugo’s Cellar to anyone who loves a great steak, and is will to venture out to the old strip. The bonus on this is that you can save a bunch of money, have a great meal and terrific wine, excellent service, all at a fraction of the price of one the places on the strip. You just need to be willing to compromise on the location and the atmosphere a bit.

CraftSteak Steak House @ MGM Grand Las Vegas Review

I did not go to Craft Steak on this last trip, but I did a few years ago, and was blown away by the meal. CraftSteak is a bit gimmicy in that they serve “Kobe Beef”. Due to regulations, it is not 100% real Kobe beef, but is still damn good.

I treated a friend to dinner here and we decided to get the taster menu which was amazing.

The quality of food was superb, and the variety and portions were great. I think between us we got 2 or 3 small appetizers, 3 steaks, numerous sides, and a variety of homemade ice creams for desert. There was even some in between course palette cleansers that were served.

The service here was awesome. Our waiter was this older guy who had a crazy accent. He sounded like a vampire, and was just brilliant. He saw that we were 2 younger dudes and freshed up his pitch with some funny slang words which made the meal that much better.

He said the mashed potatoes were “ridiculous” and he was not mistaken. It was like an equal mix of cream and potato and was INTENSE. They were great. The steaks were terrific. The meat is extremely tender and flavorful. The steaks seemed to have been oozing “goodness” out of them. Juice galore. We got three steak cuts, a New York Strip, a Fillet, and one other served with the tasting menu. My only regret was not getting the Steak Tartar as the suggested first course. The waiter switched to a Foie Gras since we were pussies when it came to eating raw meat.

CraftSteak IS expensive, but it is a memorable meal and will let you get in some “Kobe Beef” which will be one of the most flavorful tender cuts of meat you have ever eaten. I would go here again, and take some friends here to pop their “Kobe” cherry.

Where is your favorite steakhouse in Vegas? While you are there, you may also want to go shoot some machine guns!

I replaced my washer and dryer because those were hunks of crap, and it made this insanely loud squeaking noise. I called a repair guy, it cost me $75 to tell me it was a $900 repair on a $800 washer/dryer stack unit. Hmmmm. Anyhow so I opted for one that is pretty much the bees knees and my clothes have never been cleaner.

I was thinking I was going to need to replace my dishwasher in much the same fashion. It appeared to leave dishes, silverware, and etc just kind blah, and not really clean.

The other day my sister hooked me up with some METHOD "smarty dish" dishwasher detergent pellet things, and they fucking rule. Prior to this, I was "being green" and was using Seventh Generation Automatic Dishwashing Gel, and it was total crap. Like I mentioned before that stuff left a weird grossness on everything in the dishwasher. These METHOD things my my shit shine.

Here are some reviews of "green cleaning products" that I have used so far:

Method Smarty Dish Dishwasher Detergent: THE BEES KNEES. Makes your dishes and silverwear shine, may add life to an older dishwasher.

Seventh Generation Automatic Dishwashing Gel: The BEES Arsehole. This stuff sucks. Do not get it!

Method Tub and Tile Spray – Eucalyptus mint scent – This stuff seems to clean well, but it smells fricking awesome

Method All Surface Cleaning Spray – Cucumber – Again seems to clean well and smells awesome

So so far a big thumbs up to the Method cleaning products that are sold at Target… not sure if they are made by target… but I like them. Take my money target, make my house smell nice.

Have you used any of these products? What are your thoughts?

It is actually much older then that, as I was blogging, before there were blogs. I used to use this service that was somewhat like live journal, but even more low brow. For some reason I am thinking it was on an .ru server… they had 2 services, one was a journal/blog like system the other was a guestbook. I swore I made a backup of all of those from somewhere but I am not sure if I will ever find it.

I checked the whois, and that is showing 2000 as the registration date, but I am pretty sure I had the domain in 96 or 97. Oh the good ol days.

Anyhow after talking to rae about some new template/theme she is using on wordpress I figured it was time to give it an upgrade.

*God Science Willing*, this weekend I will have a brand spanking new look and feel to the site… with more features than ever.

PS – if you notice anything wacky on the site, please let me know so I can fix it!