I’ve been in full time ministry for fifteen years and I have zeroed in on one of my greatest enemies. This enemy comes when you least expect it and is so camouflaged it can go unchecked very easily, causing unnecessary damage to you and those around you. The most devastating truth about this enemy is that it causes one to lose ground in their walk with God yet while thinking you’re gaining ground. It’s very deceiving. The enemy I’m speaking of is a spirit of religion that is ultimately grounded in the pride of man.

I hate this enemy. I find myself battling its tendencies constantly. This enemy of mine seeks to completely take over my walk with Jesus, define my relationship with Jesus and then leave me with no godly fruit but rather condemnation, guilt and shame. A religious approach to God is based solely on what I do and accomplish as I compare myself to what others do and accomplish. Those in a ministry-type of occupation are usually the ones in the cross hairs of this spirit the most. Although every believer is within it’s scope.

When Jesus came in the flesh this is the spirit that lashed out at Him in hatred and death threats. Yet people inspired by this spirit were the ones that confessed to be the closest to God, thought they knew Him the best and embraced spiritual disciplines the most. Yet when God, the One they confessed to know, came and stood in front of them, literally, they hated Him and ultimately had Him killed. Yes, the ones who read the Bible, taught the Bible, fasted food and gave offerings were the ones out of offense and hatred sought to have Him killed.   

In full time ministry part of my “job” is to embrace and model a lifestyle of studying the Bible, embracing fasting, prayer and giving generously. The Master Himself modeled this lifestyle when He walked the earth and taught it as the basics of Christianity in His most repeated sermon of all titled the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). So how do I embrace these spiritual disciplines yet without ending up as the religious leaders of the past that missed the mark? How do I do fulfill my calling of full time ministry and still love God, not hate or be offended by Him? Can I sustain a genuine love for God while being in full time ministry?

I remember fifteen years ago when I first began my journey in ministry. I was a fairly new believer and very immature in my walk as a Christian. From week to week I was on a roller coaster of either being puffed up in pride or down on myself in shame as I related to God. If I had a good week of prayer, didn’t cheat on my fasting days and stayed up on my Bible reading I felt proud and couldn’t possibly understand why others wouldn’t or couldn’t do what I was doing. Yet on weeks where I failed miserably I felt shame and deemed myself unworthy to talk to anyone about Jesus or talk to Jesus myself. My relationship with God was mostly based on what I did or didn’t do that week.

Many go through this time of maturing, working out their relationship with God. I’ve had hundreds of conversations with people that completely relate to this struggle of pride and guilt as it relates to their pursuit of God. I believe there are really simple answers that will help us yet these simple answers take a courageous amount of persistence and humility to embrace and walk out.

I will use my own example within just one of the disciplines I mentioned above to show you what God showed me. What He taught me can be applied to all of the various spiritual disciplines as we pursue Him. He spoke to me about the discipline of reading the Bible and how to go about it to grow in love for Jesus compared to growing religious in my own accomplishments.

Every night I would go into my room and read my Bible. I was a new believer so I didn’t know much about it. I found out quickly that this wasn’t going to be easy. Of course I couldn’t imagine telling anyone that. I have to tell you that I’ve never had a good relationship with books. In school I was the student who studied for hours to barely get an average score on my report card. I’m of the type even now that struggles to remember what I just read an hour ago. I still to this day tell people that books and I don’t get along very well J.

So there I was, reading the Bible every night because I knew I was supposed to and yet while I’m reading I don’t feel like anything is happening in my relationship with God. If I were to evaluate those early months I would say that if anything my relationship with God was decreasing as I read, not increasing. I would read and get confused, then frustrated, then disappointed.

I would keep a pad of paper next to me and write down all my questions every time I read. I would then go to one of my mentors and ask all my questions, which were usually several pages worth. It was one of the highlights of my week. I would finally get answers to some, if not all, of my questions and then of course my relationship with God would grow, at least a little. And then back to the Bible I would go.

One day when I was meeting with my mentor he taught me a simple principle about reading my Bible that had great impact on me. He asked me if I had first asked Jesus these questions that I had written on my pad of paper. I was actually stunned that I had never thought of doing that before. I guess in my mind I had determined that that wouldn’t work, that my questions would go unanswered. I was still new in my faith and prayer was mostly a formula or words, not a conversation with a real Person.

My mentor went on to tell me that Jesus was the Author of the Book I was reading. And that He knew it well. Jesus knew the exact settings of each story, the smell in the air, what was going on in the minds and hearts of the people and more importantly what was going on in His mind and heart of each story. He encouraged me to turn my Bible reading into a conversation with the Author and to ask Him these questions. He assured me that in due time Jesus would speak and lead me in understanding.

He said instead of just reading the Bible for the simple task of doing what I was supposed to do as a good and dedicated Christian, read the Word to talk to a real Person that is really alive and seek to grow the relationship between the two of us (God and me). Essentially it was mixing two of the disciplines that we as believers are to do, prayer and Bible reading. This was life changing for me. It turned the discipline of the Bible into a relationship compared to a rugged ritual.

Now, all these years later, I still have to recommit myself to God’s Word continually. And just as important as committing to read His Word I commit to read it to meet with Him and grow our relationship compared to checking a box that my duties as a minister are accomplished for the day. I say continually because as I said earlier I sense those tendencies of a religious spirit creeping up on me all the time.

I go to the Word and many times say to myself before I start, “Wes, I’m here today to meet with Jesus not just to get through the devotion.” As I read I will search for Him, wait for Him and seek to clearly hear His voice. Many times when He speaks in His Word it’s a still, small voice. If we’re too focused on simply getting through the text to accomplish the task of doing our devotion we may miss Jesus altogether. We may finish the study but miss out on actually meeting with Him.

A religious approach to the Bible or any discipline will choke the enjoyment out of it. We were meant for a vibrant relationship with Christ not a list of duties to check off each day or week. The principle is simple, talk to Him, the real Jesus who is alive and well. We will walk with Him in relationship to the measure that we talk to Him in conversation.

So my answer is yes, yes indeed. I can sustain a real love for God while being in full time ministry.

Hope this helps you on your journey.

God bless,

Wes Martin

There are few things that I’ve enjoyed more in my life than getting out into the woods to bow hunt. I’ve had the itch since I was a young boy – a desire to voyage, to search and to hunt for things. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you the outdoors is part of who I am. My dad and my grandpa gave me directions of how to scratch some of the outdoor itch. They taught me how to hunt, fish, camp and hike through the woods. I remember as a teenager I could hardly get enough of any of those activities. My friends and I would plan campouts, hikes through the woods and hunt rabbits, squirrels, deer and turkeys any chance we could. Many times I would even get up before school and go bow hunting for deer.

Just prior to this particular morning I had experienced new birth into the Christian life and perhaps needless to say I was very immature in my walk with the Lord. I was still learning the basics about who God was and how He felt about me. The little understanding I did have about God was mostly inaccurate. If I was brutally honest I mostly thought about God as being distant, disinterested and disappointed in my life. As I look back on this season now it’s so clear to me the Lord was “taking me to school” concerning the knowledge of God. Praise God for His grace in giving me revelation of the truth.

As I sat in the deer stand that morning my heart should have been full. The sun began to peak above the horizon, the woods started to wake up and many familiar sounds began to fill the air. It was a beautiful morning. The weather was perfect and I knew the deer were going to be moving, which for a deer hunter is a great thing. The only problem was that on this particular morning I was really unable to enjoy any of it. And this problem was rooted in my lack of really knowing the heart of God.

Somehow I had a belief, that anything enjoyable in life (outside of Christian ministry) couldn’t possibly be blessed of God or be in His best interest for me. This was rooted in my idea that God was disinterested in anything about my life, unless of course it had something to do with preaching the gospel to the lost, giving to the poor or petitioning Him in prayer for some noble cause. I just knew God was not interested in bow hunting, and there was no way He could be interested in me while I was doing it. Or so I thought.

I was trying hard to enjoy this childhood hobby as best as I could, but felt a tremendous amount of guilt because I enjoyed it so much. I even went as far as keeping my outdoor passion a secret from others, not sharing the stories with my own wife or my friends. Crazy right? It is so easy to act out of cowardice when we fail to see who God really is and what His emotions towards us are really like. Praise God that on this morning my perceptions of God would change in a big way.

As I was sitting there, gazing through the trees for any movement at all, hoping to see a deer, I suddenly had a strong and invasive thought about God. It came as a phrase. It was out of nowhere and it shocked me. I wasn’t in my “prayer closet” or preparing for some kind of outreach so I was thrown off. What was God doing in my hunting time? Or maybe it wasn’t Him at all? Yet this thought came strong and lit up my mind. I couldn’t help but think about it. Tons of emotion would soon follow but only after I sat there quietly for a while and wrestled with this thought in my mind.

“I love it when you hunt” was the phrase. And the phrase was seemingly from God. I was paralyzed, and mostly in disbelief. I could not and would not believe this was my initial response as I mentally processed this “out of nowhere” thought that had suddenly interrupted my hunt. Yet I could feel my heart wanting to believe it. If this were true then I could enjoy what I loved to do. I could enjoy God as He enjoyed me. But there was no way this could be true.

After a few minutes of my mind racing with questions, answers and more thoughts another phrase struck into my mind. This time He said, “Wes, I love you when you hunt.” This time it was as if the phrase bypassed my mind and went straight to my heart. I wept. I wept loud. My hunt was ruined because my weeping was so loud and I’m sure the entire woods were thinking who is the guy up in that tree-stand crying. I was undone.

God set something straight with me that morning. He established the fact that He loves me, even when I’m bow hunting. I was set free that morning from a mindset that was wrong about God. I had previously thought that God was disinterested in my life unless I was doing something “spiritual” or something to further the gospel. I had believed that mostly, or even only, when I put my time towards those things would He would pay attention to me. I left the woods forever changed, believing that God enjoyed me, that He was interested in me and amazingly to my surprise, that He liked me, always.

One would think that with an experience like this that I would’ve pursued professional hunting. Which I wouldn’t actually be opposed to J. However this was not my primary response. The immediate fruit I saw in my life afterwards was grace to love and enjoy God more. I was freed from the shame and guilt that my lack of the knowledge of God was holding me under. I was set free! And the very reason we’re freed is to experience our relationship with God more.

“We love Him because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). God reveals Himself as One who greatly loves and enjoys when He commands that we greatly love and enjoy Him. This is the revelation I was in great need of, that He loved me and enjoyed me when it was just Wes Martin being Wes Martin and doing Wes Martin kind of stuff.

The scriptures teach that we who are born again, His children, are His delight, His enjoyment, His pleasure (Psalm 16:3, Proverbs 8:30, Job 33:26). We are to God His very own. We are those that He has purchased with the blood of His own Son. His love for us is proven, it’s confirmed with the extravagance of the cross. Yet many us have yet to truly encounter His love and enjoyment of us at the heart level.

Somehow we’ve put this love in a box, to only be enjoyed or experienced when “we” do the “right” things. This is the basis of relating to God on our terms compared to His terms. This strategy of “works” will never work. We relate to God based on His terms and we receive truth from Him based on His Word and His works. This sets Christianity apart from all other religions. Our God is a Father who desires a family. He loves and enjoys His children simply because they are His children, bought with the precious and costly blood of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ.

Be blessed,

Wes

Link HERE to the video interview.

Wes & Amanda Martin
By Suzanne O’Keeffe, 700 Club Interactive

CBN.com –WES AND AMANDA
Wes went to college outside St. Louis, MO. He and Amanda joined the “party scene”, melting into the typical college life but Wes took it a step further and became involved with drugs. In 1999 as he is quoted saying, “In the mercy of God, through a series of events I was delivered and Amanda, while visiting a friend in Florida, was converted at the Brownsville Revival.” Together they sought the Lord and while in Mexico City, Mexico where they had been ministering, they became engaged. Their wedding took place on June 23rd of 2001. Their walk with the Lord deepened as they determined to carry God’s “grace and gifting” given to them, while wanting to display the passion for Jesus. Prayer, fasting, and reading the Bible have been the cornerstone of their life in Christ. These are the things they desire to see implanted in the hearts and minds of the younger generation.

PREGNANCY
Wes and Amanda had been married 5 years and this was their 1st pregnancy. They found Amanda was carrying twins early on and it began as a healthy pregnancy. Close to 7 months into the pregnancy they found out that baby B, who would be named Charli, had a pocket of fluid on her brain. The doctor recommended a level two ultra sound that “zoomed in” more, and had a higher technology. Baby A, who became Ali, was not able to be seen on the ultra sound until a few weeks later. The ultra sound showed that ninety percent of the inside of her head was fluid, no brain formation. Doctors were unable to figure out why, or what happened; there were no answers but Wes and Amanda contended for healing. A few weeks later during the ultra sound, Ali had moved to where they could see her and they found same problem in Ali. Wes shared what an emotional roller coaster it was for them because “you think you have one who is healthy while contending for healing for the other and then in a moment’s time, that changed to both babies in same condition.” The doctors were not encouraging claiming the girls would be vegetative if they lived and would require full time, round the clock care. An abortion was recommended, and the Martin’s declined.

CAN’T SEE WHAT IS AHEAD
Wes expressed several times that they were and continue to be surrounded with a strong spiritual family. He was just 30 and Amanda was 28 when she became pregnant and it proved to be the first trial they had ever faced to that degree. After the diagnosis, Amanda, a nurse, and knowing the facts and reality, researched all the information available. One of the side effects could be moderate to severe facial defects, would there be? Wes explained that in womb there was no real clarity of the severity of their case.

So, they began to prepare for the worst but at the same time would not give up hope on God’s intervention of healing and restoration. As a couple and as individuals, they had to learn to do that, and keep faith. The prophetic community sent prayers, prophecies of healing, that the girls would be fine etc., and tried to wade through it all and find what was really God. Sharing their hearts is what really helped them the most, Wes described their help came from Godly friends that would allow them to talk about all their fears, talk them out with the Lord and with others. These friends assured them that God could handle their frustrations, their crying out, and their tears and continued to encourage the young couple to be real and honest with the Lord. Wes said it was a “huge factor” in getting them through. The transparency that was encouraged became a major key in keeping them from bitterness upon the deaths of the precious girls.

THE BIRTHS
Ali and Charli were born November 1st, 2006- and the Martin’s biggest fear of being in the completely unknown was around the corner. Not knowing the range of defects, could they eat or breathe, none of this was really known. The day they were born they found there were no defects physically at all; the girls were perfectly formed, adorable, and alive. Charli was alive for 5 days and Ali lived 11 days after Charli. After they died, the reports showed that on day six of conception, an error had occurred, for no reason that they could find. It was at the time of their brain growth. The brain stem formed fine, however, it just stopped.

EMOTIONAL CRISIS
During the period of time of finding out the girl’s diagnosis and their birth, was about 2.5 months and those days proved to be challenging. They prayed for the Lord break in and heal their daughters, contending for each weekly ultra sound, having their faith built up and then, come out with head down because their condition had not changed. Wes said that was first big trail that they had to endure week after week.

The second trial occurred when they were born and outside the womb. The doctors evaluated them, an MRI was done, and all confirmed another blow, nothing changed. Wes and Amanda spent the next 11 days in the hospital with Ali and Charli. Wes shared that his internal tension came from asking himself was he doing enough, was he praying enough, all those questions a parent would wrestle with. Again, his spiritual community of friends stepped in. They told Wes and Amanda that they would contend for the girl’s healing, they would carry the family, and “don’t worry if you are doing enough, just be with your girls.” So, they lived in the NICU, holding them, rocking them, singing over them, and speaking life over them. He said,”that was glorious.”

2007
2007 proved to be most difficult time, and they experienced their biggest crisis. Wes said that eighty percent of married couples don’t make it through death of infant, and they knew that. He shared Amanda had times of being depressed, of “going off the deep end”, and he felt he had to uphold his public image of being in the ministry and deal with the “fear of man.” It affects all members of the family, friends, people who don’t say the right things etc. add to the process. They were able to come through it, standing on the scripture in 1st Peter 4:19, “Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.”

Wes learned and has taught that we must be real and transparent with Godly friends-the ones who let you talk, not the ones with all the answers. They surrounded themselves with friends who let them say anything, let them be mad at each other and God about everything, without judgment. They were committing their souls to Him in honesty with each other and with the Lord, saying, “I don’t like this, it is not what I thought, we are angry, confused, what about prophecy, what is that about?”

He said don’t lose your commitment to the Word. He could not fast, pray etc. in 2007. They were tired and weak, but stayed with it, reading even just a scripture at a time, but it was out of a commitment to stay true to the Lord. Because of their determination to stay close to the Lord, they began to experience the supernatural ministry of the Word and His grace. Scripture and truth became alive in midst of marital problems, family issues, and things in the ministry. Holy Spirit would come and comfort and strengthen them even without answers to their whys.

It’s been seven years this November since the life of Ali and Charli. Amanda became pregnant again the spring of 2008, and their son Owen was born that November 28th. Wes said using the same staff and hospital proved to be a redemptive process for them, especially when it came time for the ultrasounds. They were so nervous the night before, but it came back all clear. He was perfect. A year and a half later, daughter Macy was born in April of 2009, and they just adopted a girl this last November 6th which was the day that Charli died. Her name is Mia, a precious African American girl from the United States. They are a close knit and loving family.

Wes and Amanda have kept their close friends where they keep accountable for their marriage, continually learning how to relate to each other, and keeping everything transparent. Their marriage relationship, communication with in-laws and others are stronger and healthier because they were forced to deal with everything just as occurred.

In an online article, Wes wrote, “Amanda said it best as we were holding Charli moments after she died, ‘I only got 5 days with you and I would do it all over again for 5 days.’ If we could do it all over again for only a few short days we would not hesitate. Charli and Ali were an absolute delight and our hearts were and still are filled with love towards them. That little time changed our lives forever. Our daughters taught us how to love better and honor life to a whole new level.”

Onething Regionals
“Onething Regionals are the International House of Prayer’s conferences for young adults, held in cities throughout the United States.
At this important time in history, God is raising up a movement of young adults and awakening their hearts to intimately encounter Him, that they might give themselves to love Jesus with all their hearts, proclaim His Word to their generation, and bring the kingdom to every sphere of society.
Through Onething Regionals we communicate these truths to many high school and college students. It is our dreams to see thousands upon thousands make the decision to embrace the glory of living a life of one thing, as expressed by King David in Psalm 27:4.
“One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple.” (Ps. 27:4, NKJV)”

Click HERE

Words of Life. 

Be blessed,

Wes

God bless,

Wes

View Message HERE

Here are few keys that may help you. These have proven to help me stay in the Word and encounter more of God in my day to day Christian walk. This, by the way, is His supreme desire for all of us. To encounter Him in our hearts and minds thus unlocking our love to be spent on Him.

The Bible is the primary way in which God has chosen to reveal Himself to us. Not the only way, but the primary way. Therefore we don’t have an option in whether or not we’re going to be students of His Word. We sign up because we long to know Him and know His heart for us. He will help us.

I approach the Bible as if it were God’s personal letter written to me. As if it showed up one day in my mailbox, a letter personalized for me from God. This is right for you too. The Word of God is God’s Word for you. It’s profoundly personal.

As I open the letter and begin reading I remind myself of His great desire, to reveal Himself to me. This is why I open the book, to discover God. There’s more to Bible Study than simply getting through the “devotion” for the day or reading the Book through in one year. There’s more than retaining a few cool stories to be recited later. There’s more. There’s the revelation of the Creator. We were made for encounter. We were made for God. As we read we are invited in to encountering the very Author Himself, the Creator Himself, Jesus.

So I remind myself constantly of the goal of my study. It’s not only to retain information or to complete my devotion, it’s to experience the Person who gave His life for me, He loves me more than I know. This is my main motive, this is main goal of Bible reading. I open the pages and go from verse to verse hungry for my heart to connect to truth and my mind to be exhilarated with God.

I have to resist my own religious tendencies of changing my goal and motive. It’s not to simply “check the box” that my Bible reading is completed for the day so I can feel good about myself. I don’t want to just “check the box.” I want more in my motive. I want more for my heart. I want Him.

Jesus told the pharisees in John 5:39-40 a very sobering thing as it relates to Bible study with the wrong motive. 39 You search the Scriptures for in them you think you have eternal life and these are they which testify of Me. 40 But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life. 

In essence Jesus was saying that Bible study without encountering the Author Himself or talking to the Author Himself is fruitless. It’s not about the motions of Bible-reading discipline. It’s about connecting with Jesus. This is what will bolster our heart and life in God. This is where eternal life is found.

1) Resist the religious approach to the Scriptures of simply going through the motions without reaching with your heart and mind to talk and connect with Jesus while we read.

2) Keep your goal to be “encounter” vs. “checking the box”

3) Read slow and when your heart moves or your mind is inspired pause and dialogue with Jesus. Resist the feeling of having to get through your devotion. Sometimes you may not complete the devotion material for the day. Who cares?! If it’s because your encountering the heart of Jesus it’s worth it! That’s the true goal.

4) Be motivated more about your heart being alive in God compared to memorizing all the right scriptures. I love information but I want more than information. I want my heart to be alive in God.

I’ll leave you with this verse. This is the fruit of true God-encountering Bible Study. Luke 24:32 “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked to us on the road and while He opened the scriptures to us!” 

Lord open the Bible to us that our hearts might burn within us.

Be blessed,

Don’t give up.

Wes

For more on this you can watch/listen a message I spoke and/or download more notes by clicking HERE.

So Amanda and I are back to the glorious waiting in the adoption process. We’re so grateful for the many people that responded immediately to our need and then insisted that we keep the funds for a future adoption when we notified them that this particular one had changed direction. Praise God for generous people that love kids.

We’re waiting and praying.

Wes, Amanda, Owen and Maci

We’ll need $30k total of which we have $10k ready to go that we’ve already set back for this. We weren’t expecting the double cost but here we go!

Pray and Give if you can. If we don’t get the babies we’ll be waiting again. Apparently this can happen at any moment, keeps it interesting for sure

Any questions let me know.

Thanks for reading, praying and standing with us.

God bless the Martin Family of KC!!!!

Wes