Let the wrong conversation happen at these things, and what’s supposed to be a great time can plunge into a tension-filled disaster for everyone.

Expletives, crying children, slammed doors, people storming out and driving off . . .

It‘s just not fair to the cook.

Don’t let it happen on your watch.

Prepare yourself not to be understood.

(And be okay with that.)

Have you noticed that most arguments happen due to one or more persons feeling like the other person just doesn’t ‘get it?’

Which is okay, until someone decides they’re going to talk the other person into getting it.

Question: Who says they have to?

You know, with some people, you can explain your point of view and, even after disagreeing with you, they can miraculously come around — and actually figure out where you’re coming from.

We call these friends.

Remember this:

• Your relatives are not required to understand you.

If you know one, or even two people in this life that actually ‘get’ you — pat yourself on the back — you’re doing great. Don’t be greedy.

Be cool, always.

Sooner or later, this will happen to you: One of your family members says or does something so offensive to you — the whole room gets quiet, waiting for your reaction.

And the offender’s not even drunk, making their nonsense ten times harder to excuse!

No matter how annoying (or flat-out wrong!) your family member is obviously being, never let it impact you. Be cool, and let the ignorant stuff ride by you…

By the way, this is not done by announcing aloud, ‘I’m going to let your ignorant comment ride by me….’

Just think of a funny way to lightly brush it aside. If nothing funny comes to mind, change the subject as smoothly as you can. You’ll feel the relief from everybody in the room, and they’ll love you for it. It’s a powerful thing — try it.

Hint: It’s important that you not leave the room right away, or folks will think you’re angry. Which is a no-no.

• A truly powerful man has no angry button.

Disappointed, yes. Angry, no.

Focus on them.

Show me an annoying relative, and I’ll show you someone who’s been neglected in some way.

Maybe they didn’t get enough education… maybe not enough attention growing up… Vitamin B12? …who knows?

Heck, maybe its brain cells — they’re missing something, or they wouldn’t be so annoying (I’m serious).

So it’s going to be up to you, the well-adjusted one, to take the high-road (again, without announcing that that’s what you’re doing . . . cause, that would make you annoying).

Talk to them, anyway — be nice to them, anyway — stay relentlessly cool and unflappable.

Yep — that’s what bites about being one of the sane ones in the family. But look at the bright side — you’re not one of the crazy ones!

You’re not, right?

That’s a joke, of course — you’re extraordinary, or you wouldn’t be reading about this!

Share your favorite ways for dealing with impossible family members in the comments below. Speak your mind . . .

http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2011/10/what-i-learned-from-steve-jobs.html

Unlike many, he actually speaks from first hand experience, having known Steve, personally. My favorite takeaway from the article:

• Experts are clueless. Experts — journalists, analysts, consultants, bankers, and gurus can’t “do” so they “advise.” They can tell you what is wrong with your product, but they cannot make a great one. They can tell you how to sell something, but they cannot sell it themselves. They can tell you how to create great teams, but they only manage a secretary. For example, the experts told us that the two biggest shortcomings of Macintosh in the mid 1980s was the lack of a daisy-wheel printer driver and Lotus 1-2-3; another advice gem from the experts was to buy Compaq. Hear what experts say, but don’t always listen to them.

Great stuff.

Check the rest out here: http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2011/10/what-i-learned-from-steve-jobs.html

In case you’ve never been, here’s a peek inside the Mountain View and Zurich offices of the world’s most dominant search company. If you’re a business owner, you’re gonna want to see this.

~ ST

This is Part 4 of our series on Executive Presence. In Part 3 of this series, we discussed the need to stay current, as another critical element of Intellectual Impact (one of the two main components of Executive Presence).

If you haven’t already done so, it would be best to start with Part 1.

Picture Yourself…
So, picture yourself at a business meeting — after having implemented all we’ve discussed so far about Executive Presence:

• you have engaged the action items in 10 Things Every Man Should Do, Every Day, and are packing a powerful Physical Impact — brimming with energy, fresh off of a workout, impeccably dressed, impeccably groomed.

• you have some great literature under your belt, and the enhanced philosophical perspective that comes with it.

• you are current; ‘on the draw’ with interesting stories and the occasional pop culture reference to help keep your conversations gliding along.

With these essentials in order, you hold an incredible amount of firepower — in fact, a dangerous amount, if not modulated correctly. There is a slippery downslope of having your ‘stuff’ together: it’s very easy to slip into a smug sense of yourself — albeit unknowingly.

Get the next 3 elements of Intellectual Impact right, however, and you’ll have nothing to worry about. On the one hand, you will see your comfort level soar in social and business settings. You will find yourself at ease in situations that perhaps unnerved you in the past.

On the other hand, you will be balanced and controlled in your communication style in a way that will draw people to you. You will be admired for your knowledge; your confidence; your authority — rather than resented.

To get there, you’ll need to be…

Outwardly Focused
One of the key advantages to being outwardly focused is that it relaxes you in situations that make most people nervous.

When you’re outwardly focused, there is no room in your mind for wondering what people’s impressions are of you… how you’re coming off… if you’re ‘presidential’ enough… whether they like you. Your mind has no time for these inward concerns, because it is completely focused on outcomes.

To illustrate: let’s say you’re arriving at a conference as a newly appointed member of the board of directors for a large pharmaceutical firm.

Standing around in the cocktail reception area there are groups of CEO’s, scientists and PhD’s (in groups of 2′s and 3′s), market strategists, lawyers and staff chatting quietly — a little laughter here and there… they seem to all know each other, but this is the first time most of them will be meeting you.

Here’s what inwardly focused thinking sounds like:

• ‘OK — this is it. Whatever you do, don’t screw up!’

• ‘I’ve got to think positively. I’m Great and everyone will love me!’

• ‘Really nervous. I hope I don’t start sweating too much.’

• ‘Heh. Why should I be nervous… I make more money than all of these guys.’

Here’s the same man, this time focused outwardly:

• ‘Glad to finally be here — it’ll be great to put some faces with some names.’

• ‘Let’s see, which one is Jim Porter… I want to be sure and talk to him about…’

• ‘Marketing director really seems to know her stuff. She might be a great resource for…’

When you’re outwardly focused, you rarely allow any of your thoughts to be about you. You are focused on results (Latin: effectus, you’ll recall).

High-stakes social settings like the above illustration tend to exacerbate our insecurities (we all have them). But when your outward focus is strong enough, you render yourself unconscious of any superficial concerns. All your mind has room for — is the work.

2 Steps to an Outwardly Focused Mindset

1. Before you arrive at any business gathering, set 1 to 3 solid goals you want to achieve by the end of the meeting (chat with a specific politician? make a strategic introduction? rally your VP’s behind a new initiative? …). This ensures that you have outcomes to concentrate on, rather than yourself.
2. Tune your radar for opportunities to assist others with their outcomes at the meeting, as well. Make a conscious effort to provide value to everything and everyone you touch and, again, you will rarely catch yourself thinking about yourself.

Become a Titan of outward focus, and you will see your confidence (and by extension, your Executive Presence) rise to new heights.

Next, we talk about the next element of Intellectual Impact (which would seem to totally contradict outward focus!): be self-aware. Stay tuned.

If you have a dog, Sean Ellis’ story of literally living with wolves in the Rocky Mountains will blow you away. Check it out, here.

~ ST

No worries.

Take a look at Springwise and throw your ‘idea engine’ into high gear.

Even if you’re already running a business, Springwise is an important site to watch, if only to stay abreast of fresh opportunities and latest upstart trends in your industry. Check out Springwise, here.

~ ST

In Part 2 of this series, we covered the first element of Intellectual Impact: be well-read.

If you haven’t already done so, it would be best to start with Part 1.

Stay Current
Silence is often a good thing. Sometimes a well-placed ‘pregnant pause’ can serve to add a little drama, or even humor, to a lively conversation.

But, sometimes it can be pretty awkward — as in, the mysterious mid-conversation silence that most people try to fix by smiling and hoping someone else quickly thinks of something more to say.

What’s interesting about the awkward silence is that it can happen even with people with whom we may have been hitting it off, only seconds ago; your conversation is moving along at a nice, dynamic clip, you may even share a laugh — and out of nowhere — a missed beat. You may even sense that no one really wants the conversation to end, yet, there it goes, sputtering mercilessly to a halt, and sending all participants packing, reluctantly.

“The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country…”

Having a few current events ‘on the draw’ can do a lot to save a good conversation from an early demise. Granted, not all conversations are worth saving — but it’s best to be prepared to rescue the ones that are.

In addition, referencing news and events that people may have heard about not only gives you an aura of awareness, as a leader, but also promotes a feeling of familiarity and comfort with you, as an individual. The resulting camaraderie encourages people to feel at ease — and, in turn, makes them more ‘open’ to you, and easier to converse with.

Set Up Google Reader
Google Reader is currently one of the most powerful tools available for staying in touch with current events. The magic of it lies in how profoundly simple it can make your web reading experience.

Once you get the hang of it, Google Reader almost totally wipes out any need for you to click all over the web to read your favorite news and info sites. It brings all of your chosen sites together, in one format; easy to navigate. Take a good look at Google Reader, and digest almost all of your information sources in a fraction of the time. The price is pretty good, too (free).

Learn to Use RSS Feeds
It is said that ‘the Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country; the New York Times by the people who think they run the country; the Washington Post by the people who think they ought to run the country; the Boston Globe by the people who’s parents used to run the country (and did a far superior job of it, thank-you-veddy much)…’

Jokes aside, whichever paper you gravitate toward in your part of the world, leverage the power of the web by subscribing to the RSS feed of your newspaper’s website. Doing this will allow you to scan through all the interesting headlines in seconds, rather than minutes. As an example, you could find yourself going through the Journal, the Times, the Post and the Globe in less time it normally takes to read one paper.

Once you have a Google Reader account (mentioned above), subscribing to an RSS feed is as simple as clicking an RSS feed “Subscribe” button (like the large orange one that appears at the top-right of the page, here at WhataManKnows.com).

Some newspapers are (understandably) beginning to charge a fee for access to their articles online (WSJ, most notably; NYT is currently considering it). The technology is so convenient (and web news so ubiquitous) — the physical newspaper business is getting killed!

It’s simply easier and faster to stay current, online.

They Don’t Call it ‘Pop Culture’ For Nothing
Of course, there’s more to life than newspapers. Now that you’ve got a feed reader at your disposal, you can also more easily stay abreast of lighter fare (sports, entertainment, etc.) — also very useful in business social settings.

For United States dwellers, a few glances through ESPN, for example, as well as NPR’s Pop Culture segment, as well as a blog like Pop Culture Madness, and you’ll be up to speed on the general ‘goings-on’ in a matter of minutes — without having to sit through hours of bad television.

Finally, remember to keep it inoffensive; keep it relevant; and ‘change gears’ gently when introducing a topic. Work on smoothly folding current news and elements of pop culture into your banter, and you will find yourself having to end your conversations deliberately; like television, people won’t be able to get enough of you.

In Part 4, we talk about the next crucial element of Intellectual Impact: be outwardly-focused. Go to Part 4, here.

• no lights
• no electricity
• no drinking water
• no phones (cell towers are out of commission)
• stores are completely out of food
• ATM machines don’t work.

How do you survive? How does your family survive?

I don’t like to dwell on the worst, but I like to be prepared for it. It’s my responsibility to make sure the people I care about survive anything, if at all possible — and I’m sure you feel the same way.

We’ve seen devastation strike all over the world, from the poorest towns, to the richest cities. No one ever believes their neighborhood will be reached by a disaster — until it happens. This is why I’ve kept emergency food and water in my home for years now (you probably have, too).

But, a few years ago, Craig, my friend and neighbor, clued me in on the need for a go-bag; basically, a backpack with food, cooking stove, tools and cash. He’s got one prepared for himself, one for his wife, and two for his two daughters, should his family need to roll in a hurry.

It’s essential.

You may have plenty of non-perishable food at home but, during a disaster, what if it’s not safe to stay? We’ve all seen video footage of families who ignored evacuation warnings to stay near their supplies.

Don’t make the news. Keep yourself and your family prepared, mobile and strong. Get yourself at least one go bag. They’re not free, but they’re worth it:

Go Bag 1
Quakehold! 70280 Grab-n-Go Emergency Kit, 2-Person 3-Day Back Pack – $61.45

Go Bag 2
SKO Survival Kit Deluxe Emergency Disaster Preparedness 72 Hour Backpack Kit Earthquake, Hurricane, Fire, Flood, Tornado, Evacuation or Storm. Home, Work or Auto: 4 Person – $108.99

Go Bag 3
Deluxe 2-Person by SurvivalKitsOnline Perfect Survival Kit for Emergency Disaster Preparedness for Earthquake, Hurricane, Fire, Evacuations, Auto, Home and Family – $140.00

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you: this is one of those things where, if you wait until you need it — it’s too late. You can use our affiliate link below (we’d appreciate it), or go direct to the site… either way — as long as you get at least one of these under your roof, for yourself and those you care about. Get one now.

~ ST

I’m not too sure you’ll ever catch me in the sky with 853 people.

Still, it’s a marvel of technology and a glimpse into where commercial air travel may be heading.

The Airbus A380:

• it’s 50 percent wider than a 747.
• it has an entire level (upper deck) dedicated to business class.
• it has two full showers.
• it has two full bars.

The lounge is obviously beautiful, but the rest of it looks a bit claustrophobic to me. You be the judge — take a look at it here.

~ST

Intelligence is tricky.

Things that I felt absolutely sure of but a few years ago, I do not believe now. This thought makes me see more clearly how foolish it would be to expect all men to agree with me. — Jim Rohn

…more deceptively simple brilliance from one of the finest business philosophers of our time. The quote reminds me to relax, and not be so dogmatic about things I’m so “sure” about.

Scott Berkun (an actual smart person) once did a piece on just this subject, entitled, Why Smart People Defend Bad Ideas — and it’s awesome. When you have about 15 minutes, I recommend it (enthusiastically).

~ ST