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<channel>
	<title>What If List</title>
	<link>http://www.whatiflist.com</link>
	<description>Random Ideas. By Michael Carruth</description>
	<pubDate>Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:32:19 +0000</pubDate>
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	<language>en</language>
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		<title>Surrendering a Domain Name</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=28</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=28#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:03:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Domaining]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Entrepreneurship]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=28</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Recently, I read a post on another blog talking about how this poor gent surrendered a domain name he had been using for three years to a corporation claiming to have dominion over a certain phrase&#8230;only to have the name snapped up by another party when it expired (not sure if HE let it expire, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Recently, I read a post on another blog talking about how this poor gent surrendered a domain name he had been using for three years to a corporation claiming to have dominion over a certain phrase&#8230;only to have the name snapped up by another party when it expired (not sure if HE let it expire, hoping the corporate types would swoop in and grab it&#8230;or if he turned it over to them, and THEY let it expire).</p>
<p>Nonetheless, I penned some &#8220;Rules of the Road&#8221; for surrendering domains to a corporation.  These guidelines assume you do not want to fight their claim, and want to &#8220;do the right thing&#8221; (careful, THEY don&#8217;t necessarily play that way, even if you do).  So, WHAT IF you find yourself in this position?</p>
<p>Seven rules to Surrendering a Domain Name to a Corporation:</p>
<p>1). If you have the resources, before engaging in any discussions about surrendering a name, have a chat with a qualified Intellectual Property attorney, who is specifically knowledgeable about the cybersquatting statute.  You may not actually be afoul of any law, and may, indeed, have every right to use the name.  Even if you do not want to spend the money, do some online research, as there is a good amount of info and caselaw out there surrounding this stuff.  Here are a couple links to get you started.</p>
<p><a href="http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/property00/domain/legislation.html" title="Harvard Law Discussion of Anticybersquatting Act" target="_blank">Harvard Law</a></p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anticybersquatting_Consumer_Protection_Act" title="Wikipedia Entry for Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act" target="_blank">Wikipedia Entry for Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1036630383097" title="Law.com entry on Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act" target="_blank">Law.com discusses limits on jurisdiction for Anticybersquatting Consumer Protection Act</a></p>
<p>Remember that corporations like to bully people to get them to play ball.  A firm claiming to represent 3M Corporation sent me a dozen or more C&amp;D letters over a period of three years for a name I had years ago (3MMC.NET).  My contention was that the simple fact that &#8220;3M&#8221; was PART of the name was not grounds for them claiming rights to that domain (it was a consulting company, and had nothing, whatsoever, to do with 3M products or industry space.  I was not acting in bad faith to ciphon off their traffic, or infringe on their name or trademarks.  My attorney told me to ignore them completely, but to save ALL correspondence from them).  The irony is that, when I closed that company, I offered the name to them and they declined it.  Bullies usually only want what they can&#8217;t have, afterall.</p>
<p>2). If you are going to surrender a name, make it clear that you want a  &#8220;We&#8217;ve moved&#8221; page put on the name for three-six months&#8230;and be firm in that.  This will give the search engines and frequent visitors a chance to know where you went. Such pages usually have a brief message, and a link to both your new domain, and the trademark holder&#8217;s site.</p>
<p>3). Don&#8217;t ever let a domain name EXPIRE as an act of surrendering it (chances are about 100% certain that the trademark holder will not be in first position to snap it up, then you&#8217;re both out the name).</p>
<p>4). Do not surrender a domain until and unless you have a physical Cease and Desist (C&amp;D), or surrender request letter from the trademark holder&#8217;s law firm.  This letter should be printed, on letterhead, preferably delivered by Certified Mail, and NEVER by email only.   Or, if you have direct contact with the trademark holder, and want to play ball, you can have THEM send you the letter requesting surrender of the name.  It does not have to be &#8220;all lawyered up,&#8221; but you do want/need a formal, written request before you surrender anything.</p>
<p>5). Be sure you have a contact person at the trademark holder company, preferably in the office of the General Counsel, no matter what.  You will want to call and confirm that everyone is who they say they are, and has proper authorization to act in this capacity.  I once read how a person who happened to WORK at a specific company (in a capacity totally unrelated to IP) got the idea they could use company letterhead and phone lines, looking perfectly &#8220;official,&#8221; to bully people out of their domains&#8230; at which point this scammer would SELL the names to his bosses, with the help of a buddy, for a tidy profit.</p>
<p>6). Once you do have a letter, and a contact at corporate,  you should request that they write you a letter (or email) confirming the name of the law firm authorized to handle this matter, if any.   I have heard of times where scammers will masquerade as a law firm, or &#8220;IP Recovery&#8221; firm only to get you to surrender your choicest domains to them&#8211;at which point, you&#8217;ll never see them again (and the process of protesting that kind of thing is so arduous and smoky, you&#8217;d probably let it slide unless it was a hyper-premium name).  Thus, if your contact in the General Counsel&#8217;s office of Corporation A says &#8220;The law firm of Howard, Fine and Howard&#8221; is representing us, then you know you can work with Howard, Fine and Howard in good faith in surrendering &#8220;corpa.com&#8221; to them.</p>
<p>7). If/when it comes down to actually &#8220;closing&#8221; the transaction, I recommend setting up a new account at your registrar, and pushing the name into that account (still under your control)&#8230;THEN you can change the official registrant to the corporation, confirm it with your contact at corporate, then Send them, by certified mail, the login and password of the account containing the domain.  This acts as the official &#8220;delivery&#8221; of the transaction, and provides a paper trail that you have delivered on your part.  This letter sould go to the attorney handling the matter (if any), with a cc to your contact at corporate.</p>
<p>The new registrant info should, except in rare cases, be in the name of the trademark holder (XYZ Corporation) at the address of the corporate HQ, and listing a contact name with an email address at the company.</p>
<p>Hope this helps you stay between the white lines on trademark law, but not get bullied or taken in the process of trying to do the &#8220;right&#8221; thing.</p>
<p>Best,</p>
<p>M</p>
<p>*Note: These are obviously my personal experiences and opinions, and not legal advice.   Seek proper counsel before making any business decisions.</p>
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		<title>The “Gas Station” In your Own Back Yard</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=27</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=27#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:32:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=27</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With all the talk of alternative-fuel vehicles, I wonder:
What if&#8230;
The alternative fuel movement got organized in such a way that those who had the room were granted a permit to have natural gas-fired stills in their yard to make their own ethanol.  Weekly deliveries of &#8220;stock&#8221; supplies would be done by a yet-to-be-started company, and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>With all the talk of alternative-fuel vehicles, I wonder:</p>
<p>What if&#8230;</p>
<p>The alternative fuel movement got organized in such a way that those who had the room were granted a permit to have natural gas-fired stills in their yard to make their own ethanol.  Weekly deliveries of &#8220;stock&#8221; supplies would be done by a yet-to-be-started company, and the consumer would cook up their own fuel for local consumption.  A tax would be paid on the &#8220;stock&#8221; based on the probable yield of fuel, so the state and feds would get their tribute.  But the overhead costs on refining, delivery and distribution (as currently exists in the traditional delivery infrastructure) would be largely eliminated.</p>
<p>Obviously, there would need to be controls and spot-inspections to ensure that such stills were not cranking out barrels of moonshine..but I, for one, think it would be pretty cool to roll my own right here on the back 40.</p>
<p>What say you?</p>
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		<title>Restricted Access Refrigerators</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=26</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=26#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 May 2008 00:42:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=26</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You have probably seen the so-called &#8220;smart&#8221; refrigerators that have a video screen on them (word is that eventually, RFID tags on our grocery items will allow users to know when they are running low on milk, or can make suggestions of recipes based on the contents).
After watching my son go to the fridge a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You have probably seen the so-called &#8220;smart&#8221; refrigerators that have a video screen on them (word is that eventually, RFID tags on our grocery items will allow users to know when they are running low on milk, or can make suggestions of recipes based on the contents).</p>
<p>After watching my son go to the fridge a few times today (for a popsicle, then a piece of pizza, then just to look around for what&#8217;s next&#8230;at which time, I had to say &#8220;shoo&#8221;), it got me to thinking&#8230;</p>
<p>What if&#8230;</p>
<p>There was a keypad on the fridge which parents could use to restrict access to one or both &#8220;doors&#8221; in the fridge?   Maybe athumb scan or some such to allow access at certain times, but not others, or to certain compartments but not others (so the &#8220;healthy&#8221; snacks like fruit or milk could be encouraged, but not ice cream and other between-meals no-nos).</p>
<p>I like the RFID idea, especially if it could be tied in to a PeaPod account, and the new carton of milk, or bottle of salad dressing could just appear at the front steps just in the nick of time), but this kind of control could also be a great step in the battle againt childhood obesity (and that of adults too, for that matter).</p>
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		<title>The Drivers License Photo of Your Choice</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=25</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=25#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 10:54:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Transportation]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Lifestyle]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Product/Service Ideas]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=25</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was watching TV tonight and saw the Capital One commercial touting their new &#8220;Card Lab&#8221; feature (where you can upload the artwork for your card to a special Web site and &#8220;presto!&#8221; you have you&#8217;re own card&#8230;smiling face and all).
Not too long ago, a friend of mine lost her wallet.  What was she [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was watching TV tonight and saw the Capital One commercial touting their new &#8220;Card Lab&#8221; feature (where you can upload the artwork for your card to a special Web site and &#8220;presto!&#8221; you have you&#8217;re own card&#8230;smiling face and all).</p>
<p>Not too long ago, a friend of mine lost her wallet.  What was she most bummed out about (aside from the hassle and a few irreplaceable photos)?  The fact that her license picture was REALLY good, and could not be guaranteed to be so on a re-take.</p>
<p>It got me to thinking, what if&#8230;</p>
<p>Your local DMV would allow you to bring a photo of your choice to the driver facility.  Like a passport photo, it woul dhave to conform to some exacting specs in order to be considered &#8220;valid,&#8221; but the technology is certainly there to do it.  When I went in for my renewal, I had not had a new license in eight years.  I was BUMMED that I had to give up that eight-year-and-50-lbs-ago image, but it would have made it easier if i could have brought a well-rehearsed photo with me and had them use it.</p>
<p>Is anyone aware of any jurisdiction where this is possible?</p>
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		<title>Energy Independence Post circa 2004</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=24</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=24#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:52:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=24</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Before I had this blog, I sent this email around to friends of mine in August 2004.  It also appeared in &#8220;The May Report&#8221; on 8/23/04 and, in shorter form, on the &#8220;Inc.&#8221; magazine forums that same day (when oil hit an all-time high of $47.40/bbl).
&#8217;tis the season again, so I am posting it [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Before I had this blog, I sent this email around to friends of mine in August 2004.  It also appeared in <a href="http://tinyurl.com/2p3yz6">&#8220;The May Report&#8221; on 8/23/04</a> and, in shorter form, on the <a href="http://blog.inc.com/archives/2004/08/18/what_would_you_do_if.html">&#8220;Inc.&#8221; magazine forums</a> that same day (when oil hit an all-time high of $47.40/bbl).</p>
<p>&#8217;tis the season again, so I am posting it here for your review and comment (it has been mildly edited to reflect the current condition and candidates).</p>
<p>What if&#8230;</p>
<p>Whomever is elected this November stepped to the dais on Jan 20 and presented a challenge to the American People which is no less than &#8220;We pledge to eliminate our dependence on foreign energy sources within a decade&#8230;&#8221;   After that, it will be his/her responsibility to unite the scientists, the crackpot entrepreneurs with &#8220;crazy&#8221; ideas, the financial community, regulators and the public-at-large to get behind the fight, keep the heat on (both figuratively and literally) and reach the goal.</p>
<p>Many readers may be initially inclined to say &#8220;There&#8217;s no way that is<br />
possible.&#8221; or &#8220;That would be isolationist and would do more harm than good.&#8221;<br />
Hopefully, as you read on, this inclination will change from &#8220;no way&#8221; to<br />
&#8220;only way.&#8221;</p>
<p>Certainly, such a proclamation would be an equal or greater challenge than<br />
the one put forth in the &#8220;We pledge to go to the moon&#8221; speech made by JFK, ultimately propelling us to the lunar surface by the end of the<br />
1960s.  When that pledge was made, the technology that would get us there<br />
was barely conceived and many said it could not be done.   &#8220;Not because<br />
they are easy, but because they are haaaad.&#8221;   Amen!</p>
<p>Obviously, there are rich and powerful forces raging against such an<br />
initiative (and if you doubt it, go see &#8220;Fahrenheit,&#8221; rent &#8220;Power&#8221; starring<br />
Richard Gere from the mid-1980s, or flip to any news program).  But the<br />
kind of initiative we&#8217;re talking about here would, hopefully, rise above the<br />
power of lobbyists and &#8220;old boy&#8221; networks&#8211;it would be a national movement<br />
which scores victories across so many constituencies (from<br />
environmentalists to greedy Wall Street types, from farmers to suburban<br />
commuters and everyone in between) that people of influence could not<br />
ignore it.</p>
<p>This would need to be on par with the mobilization effort during WW-II.<br />
Everyone is involved, everyone has skin in the game and nobody can be<br />
excused from class.</p>
<p>Imagine, if you will, a July day in 2017 (now 2021) when OPEC calls an emergency meeting to lower prices again in an effort to spur demand.  The 3.3 billion barrels per year that the U.S. imported are now available for purchase, but buyers are scarce (as The European Community and China have followed the United States&#8217; lead and are in the final stages of their own energy independence initiatives).</p>
<p>There&#8217;s oppression and strife in a desert kingdom.  Being the Land of the<br />
Free, we have an interest in putting it down. But it is not a national<br />
emergency of the highest order as it was in 1990 when the full Saudi<br />
production was in imminent danger of long-term disruption.  It does not<br />
cause the Dow to plummet and Americans to begin buying bicycles and candles.</p>
<p>Do our leaders not see that, at any moment, OPEC could just say &#8220;ENOUGH!&#8230;<br />
No soup for you&#8221; and turn off the spigot?  The need for a massive energy<br />
independence initiative should have been put front and center the day after<br />
the 1973 Arab Oil Embargo ended.  In that poker game, OPEC members caught on<br />
to the fact that the United States had a fatal &#8220;tell&#8221; that would allow them<br />
to win every hand, every time. We would be at their mercy from that point<br />
on.  Prices quadrupled in the ensuing months (from 2007-dollar, inflation adjusted $15/bbl in 1972 to $55/bbl in 1974 and, ultimately, $104 in March 2008), and there is no end in sight if we &#8220;stay the course.&#8221;</p>
<p>During the 1973 crisis when supply was abruptly halted, the NYSE lost $383<br />
Billion in value in six weeks (2003 dollars).  That number would be much,<br />
much higher today if such an embargo were declared.</p>
<p>Indeed, those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.  During this<br />
important political season, where is the cry for a massive energy<br />
independence initiative from either candidate?  I hear &#8220;focus on renewable<br />
energy sources&#8221; bandied about, but we have heard that for decades and are<br />
only centimeters closer to the goal, rather than enjoying the milk in<br />
victory lane.   This is a &#8220;DefCon 1&#8243; situation and we need a leader who will<br />
say so, then set the cause in motion.</p>
<p>Some who know me might say &#8220;Mike, you say all this, but you&#8217;re driving a<br />
gas-guzzling SUV!  What up with that?&#8221;  The quest for energy independence is<br />
not about elimination of personal freedom of choice.  In fact, it is my<br />
opinion that this is where all other initiatives fail: they call upon<br />
Americans to sacrifice rather than innovate.  Give up my SUV and drive a<br />
Prius instead?  No thanks (besides, a double jogging stroller, a wife and<br />
two kiddies in a Prius gets a bit tight with a man of my tonnage). Americans<br />
can innovate our way out of this problem, as we have throughout history.</p>
<p>But we need solid leadership to set the table for this innovation, in a way<br />
that is unprecedented in American industry.  As these new technologies take<br />
root, we may need to adjust our habits and even change some of our long-held<br />
preferences.  I&#8217;m ready.  Say the word  that we&#8217;re on our way to energy<br />
independence and I&#8217;ll convert my Ford Excursion to a so-called &#8220;grease car&#8221;<br />
(www.greasecar.com).  Innovation over sacrifice.  Ideas over fear or apathy.</p>
<p>This is intended to be a nonpartisan message, as it affects all of us.  I<br />
happen to be a Blue party kind of guy, because I think the country needs to be taken in a new direction on many issues apart from this.</p>
<p>(2004 Version)<br />
But President Bush could also be a very viable and convincing proponent of such a plan.  Afterall, he is a<br />
Texan, and there is a big oil community in his circle of friends.  In this<br />
plan, there would be oodles and oodles of revenue for the &#8220;right&#8221; people<br />
(the people without whom NO politician could get elected, so it applies<br />
equally to Sen. Kerry).<br />
(/2004 version).  Guess not.</p>
<p>This plan is not about NO oil, it is about no FOREIGN oil (which would make<br />
necessary a radical reduction in the use of oil, but not the elimination of<br />
it).</p>
<p>Americans, it&#8217;s on us now .</p>
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		<title>Proofread, even after spell check!</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=23</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=23#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Feb 2008 17:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=23</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Five or six years ago, I wrote an end-of-year email message to my staff of five.  It was New Year&#8217;s day, and I was just flooded with appreciation for the work they put in that year, and was raring to go for the new year.
The post said, among other things &#8220;&#8230;every one of you will [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Five or six years ago, I wrote an end-of-year email message to my staff of five.  It was New Year&#8217;s day, and I was just flooded with appreciation for the work they put in that year, and was raring to go for the new year.</p>
<p>The post said, among other things &#8220;&#8230;every one of you will now get three weeks paid vacation&#8230;&#8221;  well, that is how I WANTED it to come out.  How it actually was written, and subsequently sent was &#8220;..every one of you will noT get three weeks paid vacation&#8230;&#8221;</p>
<p>Well, that spawned a huge flap in the ranks the first week of January&#8230;because I was not made aware of it until five days after we had all returned to work.  It all got sorted out (though it did &#8220;out&#8221; some hidden feelings on the part of one of our sales reps, who made a big deal about the fact that s/he was not getting the full three weeks, and that resumes were already going out.  That rep was gone by Feb 1 (of &#8220;mutual&#8221; agreement).</p>
<p>So, this typo issue caused me to think, if it can happen to me, it can happen to people far more important.</p>
<p>What if&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.fiodan.com/wheres_bin_laden.pdf" title="Osama bin Laden in Bora Bora, not Tora Bora" target="_blank">Osama in Laden in Bora Bora, not Tora Bora</a></p>
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		<title>The Mystery Man</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=22</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=22#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Feb 2008 13:19:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Entrepreneurship]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=22</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Thursday, Feb 21 marked another hyper-successful TechCocktail event here in Chicago.  500 or so packed the upper level of John Barleycorn Wrigleyville to talk tech, see the newest our city&#8217;s startups have to offer, and knock back a few.
TC is a key social event, but business also does get done there.   And [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thursday, Feb 21 marked another hyper-successful <a href="http://www.techcocktail.com" title="TechCocktail" target="_blank">TechCocktail</a> event here in Chicago.  500 or so packed the upper level of John Barleycorn Wrigleyville to talk tech, see the newest our city&#8217;s startups have to offer, and knock back a few.</p>
<p>TC is a key social event, but business also does get done there.   And of the 500 in the room, you can bet there are always going to be a few &#8220;Mystery Men&#8221; in the mix (we&#8217;ll call him &#8220;the MM&#8221; for short, because, while they show up in various forms, they are all the same guy in the end).</p>
<p>Your encounter with the MM is completely random&#8230;you never seek him out.  But, nonetheless, you extend your hand and say &#8220;hi, I&#8217;m ________.&#8221;  They return the handshake, but say nothing more.  &#8220;What&#8217;s your name?&#8221; you ask.  &#8220;I don&#8217;t have a name.&#8221; they return.</p>
<p>This goes, as well, for the next logical question in such a setting:  &#8220;what do you do?&#8221;  To which they usually reply &#8220;everything and nothing&#8221; or &#8220;I work in a basement.&#8221;  Well, no, you don&#8217;t&#8230;but whatever. They&#8217;ll never speak on their field of endeavor, so end the conversation there and move on.</p>
<p>To watch one of these guys taking in a demo, you have to possess a particularly strong will.  Anything less, and you&#8217;d end up in a bar brawl.  They take great pleasure in shitting all over the idea, the interface design, the entrepreneur&#8217;s clothes, the business model, AJAX, the computer the demo is running on, PHP, Apple Inc., in general, Chicago as a startup city and pretty much anything said to or placed before them.</p>
<p>The MM is a huge waste of space, and a lead weight to any guest list.  He adds no conversational, intellectual or entrepreneurial value.  He sips his free beer, and pastes the same silly, cynical grin on his kisser, while saying to himself &#8220;What if&#8230;I was good enough to put it out there like these guys are?&#8221;</p>
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		<title>How “universal” are we talkin?</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=20</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=20#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 09 Feb 2008 23:39:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[pseudo-humor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=20</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[While watching the LA Democratic debate last week, and hearing for the 25th time how important it is to have &#8220;universal&#8221; healthcare, it got me to thinking&#8230;&#8221;Universal?&#8221; so, when we colonize Mars, I guess that seared-off foot is covered, right?  Now, before judgments are made, let me say I am in favor of health [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>While watching the LA Democratic debate last week, and hearing for the 25th time how important it is to have &#8220;universal&#8221; healthcare, it got me to thinking&#8230;&#8221;Universal?&#8221; so, when we colonize Mars, I guess that seared-off foot is covered, right?  Now, before judgments are made, let me say I am in favor of health coverage for all Americans&#8230;but do we have to hyperbolize it to such an extreme that someone like me writes an article like this.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.whatiflist.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/tolipoc.pdf" title="Tolipoc goes to Cedars">Tolipoc goes to Cedars</a></p>
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		<title>Our “Five Star Service” is not for you.</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=19</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=19#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Feb 2008 14:53:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Service-Related]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=19</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A couple weeks ago, I was forced to go in to the West Town US Bank Branch in Chicago.  I say &#8216;forced&#8217; because it was a situation where I had no other option but to go there, or find another branch.  I used to bank there in the late 1990s, after it bought [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A couple weeks ago, I was forced to go in to the West Town US Bank Branch in Chicago.  I say &#8216;forced&#8217; because it was a situation where I had no other option but to go there, or find another branch.  I used to bank there in the late 1990s, after it bought out the neighborhood bank that had been their for 90 years or some such.  One of the reasons I stopped banking there was owing to the terrible service and revolving door staff (remember how &#8220;sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name?&#8221;  Well, this ain&#8217;t it, because nobody was ever around long enough to see you three weeks running).</p>
<p>Still, these banks are not stupid&#8230;they hire high-priced marketing types to churn out slogans such as &#8220;We Go Beyond the Call&#8221; and &#8220;Five Star Service&#8221; to create an illusion that the monolithic, antiseptic, faceless bank you are really dealing with is more like your neighbor Bob, but in a bad suit. When it comes time to actually DELIVER on the promise of the slogan, however, the sinkhole of service opens wide.</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Yes, I&#8217;d like to take this check and make it in to two cashiers checks, please.&#8221;</p>
<p>Teller: &#8220;Do you have an account with us?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;No&#8230;I don&#8217;t&#8221;</p>
<p>Teller: &#8220;There will be a $5 charge because you are a non-customer, is that OK?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me:  &#8220;Yeah, I guess.&#8221;</p>
<p>(elevator music interlude while he goes to get it approved)</p>
<p>Teller: &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, sir, we&#8217;re not going to be able to cash this check for you.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Why not?&#8221;</p>
<p>Teller:  &#8220;We don&#8217;t have enough cash on hand.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;I don&#8217;t want cash, I want two cashier&#8217;s checks.&#8221;</p>
<p>Teller: &#8220;Oh. You want a Cashier&#8217;s Check?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Yes, as I said earlier&#8230;two cashier&#8217;s checks, one for (amount1) and one for (amount2).&#8221;</p>
<p>(elevator music interlude while he goes to get that approved)</p>
<p>Teller: There is going to be a $7 per check charge because you&#8217;re a non-customer</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;So that is $19 in fees?  But what if I wanted to cash the check&#8230;you said I could not do it&#8230;so you should be able to waive the fees on one of the checks at least, right?&#8221;</p>
<p>(elevator music interlude while he goes to get that approved)</p>
<p>Teller: &#8220;He is not going to approve that.  It is going to be $19.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;What about the &#8216;five-star service?&#8217; Can we get a little of that going here, and waive the fee?&#8221;</p>
<p>Teller: &#8220;That is only for our customers.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;(chuckle) Ah! I see.&#8221;</p>
<p>It was the kind of honesty I can only liken to when my four year old declares, in the middle of a crowded store, &#8220;I have to go poop!&#8221;   My little guy sometimes forgets the finer points of what you do and do not say aloud.  And, it seems, so does the teller at US Bank.</p>
<p>I ponied up the $19 in fees because I was late to a meeting and wanted to get this over with.  But it just got me to thinking:</p>
<p>What if&#8230;</p>
<p>When rolling out a new slogan such as &#8220;Five Star Service&#8221; US Bank were to have spent just a little more on a short employee training program that gave the tellers some expanded latitude to make judgment calls like this.  My feelings for US Bank in the long term could have been improved for $7, had they waived ONE of the fees.</p>
<p>Or they could have said &#8220;here is a voucher for $19.  If you open an account with us in the next 30 days, we will credit the fees to your first deposit.&#8221;  I probably would not have opened an account anyway, but the gesture alone would have said &#8220;we&#8217;re trying to make you a customer&#8230;to earn your business&#8221;  hence, &#8220;Five Star Service.&#8221;</p>
<p>The way it is, it&#8217;s just a poster and a little button on a teller&#8217;s polyester sport coat, and as such, a complete waste of marketing dollars.</p>
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		<title>They’re not selling what I’m buying</title>
		<link>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=17</link>
		<comments>http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=17#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:04:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Service-Related]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.whatiflist.com/?p=17</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s a news flash: email marketing works. If you put it out there some people will respond. But, it is not enough just to put an email campaign out there and go home. Once the customer is sufficiently ensorcelled by the eye candy and Popeilian offer copy, you have to DELIVER with SERVICE to GET [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here&#8217;s a news flash: email marketing works. If you put it out there some people will respond. But, it is not enough just to put an email campaign out there and go home. Once the customer is sufficiently ensorcelled by the eye candy and Popeilian offer copy, you have to DELIVER with SERVICE to GET THEIR MONEY. Without that, it&#8217;s all just needless check writing to your designer and coder.</p>
<p>Just today, an episode played out which I thought demanded a post.</p>
<p>Setting the stage: I have been tossing around the idea of buying a server to host my &#8220;classmaker&#8221; staging server, as well as domain names and a couple of light-traffic sites. I know bupkis about Linux and not much more about Windows (at least at the server level). Thus, my choice was a Mac (since I have worked with Mac OS server before, seemed logical enough). I did some research and decided on a Mac Pro for the hardware and, based on some of the stuff I read online, OSX Leopard server to run the show.  All told, I was counting on spending about $4000-$4500&#8230;but still had a few final questions before the green light was illuminated.</p>
<p>How does all this relate to email marketing? We&#8217;re rapidly approaching the point.</p>
<p>The Apple retail store is fine if you want to buy an iPod, a no-questions-asked Mac, or a fresh copy of OS X. But getting deep with a &#8220;genius&#8221; about the kinds of stuff I needed to speak on was something I had neither the time nor the patience to endure. Which is where email marketing comes into play.</p>
<p>Mac Specialist is a Mac-specific store located in Villa Park, IL (and, starting a few weeks ago, River North in Chicago). They have been around since way before the Apple retail wave hit, and offer sales, service and training. For obvious reasons, I have never had much need for their training, but we used to send our sick Macs over there on occasion. I have been on their mailing list for while now, and have watched intently as they polished their email campaign and launched a slick new brand.</p>
<p>On January 9, I received an email from them touting their new downtown location.  I gave it another look this morning when starting to get my ducks in a row for the server purchase.  I thought &#8220;I should just take a ride over there (&#8221;there&#8221; in this case, being the Villa Park location, since it is close to my house), ask my questions and, providing it does what I need it to do, pull the trigger.&#8221;  And so I would.</p>
<p>I had a major case of &#8220;gear fever,&#8221; and was oh-so-ready for a black-shirted sales meister with a good rap to up-sell me on more RAM, a beefier processor or maybe even a 30&#8243; display that has no business on a server, but is easily approved when one is afflicted.  &#8220;Maybe I should bring the bigger car?&#8221; I thought, as I toed the pedal Westward on Roosevelt Rd.</p>
<p>Walking into a computer store is always a dreadful experience.  The employees automatically assume they are smarter than you (afterall, they work there and you don&#8217;t, right), but just to prove it, they have to dis whatever you want to buy.  It must be in the bylaws of some secret society they are forced to join.  So, I was ready for a little static, but nothing like the following.</p>
<p>The Cast:  Two employees, one customer, one unknown (could have been a &#8220;regular&#8221; customer or a worker since he was moving between front and back of the house unimpeded), me.</p>
<p>Me:  &#8220;Hi, I wonder if you could answer some questions about Leopard Server.&#8221;</p>
<p>Employee1:  Leopard Server?  You need to see the guy over in service (pointing). (nice enough&#8230;no problem).</p>
<p>Mr. Unknown: (Older gent with a white beard and a &#8220;Marty McFly&#8221; orange down vest, to whom the question was not addressed, by the way).<br />
&#8220;Ha!  It doesn&#8217;t work with Xsan!&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;OK?&#8221; (walking over to employee 2)</p>
<p>Employee2: On the phone, has not noticed me.  Minute or two later: &#8220;You here to pick up?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Pick up?  Oh, no&#8230;the guy over there said you could help me out with some questions about Leopard Server.&#8221;</p>
<p>Employee2: &#8220;We don&#8217;t do that.  It&#8217;s not stable&#8221;</p>
<p>Mr. Unknown (emerging from back of the house):  &#8220;Yeah, I told him.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me:  &#8220;So, you can&#8217;t answer my questions?  I mean you guys are an Apple authorized reseller, right?&#8221;</p>
<p>Employee2: &#8220;Yeah, but our Director of Technology is not a fan of it&#8230;not until 10.5.1 at the earliest.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: (getting the sense it was more about them dissing Leopard than about answering my question, since they never asked me what it was).  &#8220;OK, well&#8230;thanks anyway.&#8221; (leaving)</p>
<p>Mr. Unknown:  (chuckling as he speaks) Yeah, you just have to stick to Tiger til then&#8230;heheh.</p>
<p>Stats:</p>
<p>Total email campaigns it took to get me there:  at least six<br />
Total time spent in store: less than 3 mins<br />
Total Dollars Spent: $0<br />
Total Dollars Not Spent:  $4000-$4500<br />
Total times I will visit in the future: 0</p>
<p>What if&#8230;</p>
<p>Employee2 were trained as a Mac Specialist &#8220;ambassador,&#8221; who could be tech, but also bring a &#8220;we&#8217;re here to help you though this&#8221; facet?  I think it would go something like this:</p>
<p>Employee2: (picking up from &#8220;We don&#8217;t do that.  It&#8217;s not stable&#8221;)<br />
&#8220;Sure, what can I help you with?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: (asking my 2 questions).</p>
<p>Employee2: &#8220;Well, Leopard server is not quite there from a stability point of view, so we&#8217;re not recommending it to our customers yet.  Once 10.5.1 is released, we&#8217;re going to re-evaluate it&#8230;Are you on our mailing list?  It&#8217;s a great source for this kind of info?</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Yes, I am already on the list&#8230;that&#8217;s what got me here&#8221;</p>
<p>Employee2:  Ah, OK.  You know, TIGER server IS stable (and can) / (but can&#8217;t) do what you need.  (can) If you&#8217;d like more info on Tiger, I can get employee1 (presumably the &#8220;sales&#8221; guy) to help you further.  (can&#8217;t) If you want to leave me your card, I can make sure employee1 or one of our other sales reps follow up with you on it when the time comes.</p>
<p>Yes, it takes more time and effort to be an ambassador and actually serve customers.   But, why go to all the trouble of having a store front, designing and sending an email campaign if you are not prepared to take it the last mile?</p>
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