what maisie knows

where to begin

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sun, 24 Mar 2013 02:52:00 +0000

So much has happened since I last wrote eight months ago. Work got insane for a while, with much turmoil involved. Somewhat relatedly, I think, I was first too short on time and then too uninspired to write except as needed for work. Most importantly, in the fall my mom started to get sick, and then on January 11 she was diagnosed with recurrent cancer, and on February 24, almost exactly a month ago, we unexpectedly lost her.

Sachi and I wrote about my mom's illness and her passing in a blog we started to keep friends and family informed. I won't repeat any of that here.

What I will put down are some of the thoughts floating around in my brain. I have always found writing to be one of the best ways to think about things. Even before my mom passed away, I was starting to feel it was time to start blogging again, and now, especially, I'm feeling like writing could help bring some clarity and resolution.

It is not my intention to write only about sad things because that would do no one any good. But I will acknowledge that I am still reeling from my mother's death. That she is gone still feels like a bad dream or some dreadful cosmic mistake. I keep thinking that this is not how her story, or my story, or our family's story, is supposed to go. I'm beginning to realize that perhaps one never fully gets over the loss of someone dearly loved, that perhaps the sadness just becomes less frequent and acute.

I realize that I am lucky because for 38 years (almost 39!), I got to have her in my life, and forever, I get to be her daughter. In the parent lottery, I lucked out. As I've mentioned before, for all of my conscious memory, I have known that I am loved.

The other day a light bulb went on in my head (one of those thoughts floating around in my brain): the timing and circumstances of my mother's death do not alter or redefine the rest of her life. Compared to our happy times, her accomplishments, and her love for us, the horrible, painful, traumatic end of her life was only a brief chapter. I think with time, the most recent tragedy will assume proper proportion in my memories, and all of the good stuff will rise to the top.

seen

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 22:53:00 +0000

at Starbucks today

Perhaps best not to order the pomegranate tea.

never too old

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Thu, 21 Jun 2012 01:11:00 +0000

to need your parents

The temperature reached 95 degrees in Boston today, but I'm doing fine.

Last week while they were visiting, my parents stocked the freezer with JP Licks ice cream, including a couple pints of my favorite, chocolate brownie batter. And my dad helped me install my two window air conditioners.

Now, instead of being hot and cranky, I'm cool and blissed out on chocolate.

Thanks, Mom and Dad.

consolations

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Tue, 29 May 2012 01:34:00 +0000

The season's first batch of pesto. A tall glass of iced tea.

I complain a lot about the heat and humidity, but summer has its upside, too.

reminders

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sat, 19 May 2012 03:29:00 +0000

I keep a massive electronic to-do list using this application. Mostly this works well, but sometimes it's a note jotted on my little dry erase board that provides the crucial reminder that gets something done.

I picked up this strategy from my friend, Mary, who manages to get done in one day what would take most people two. My board hangs by the front door, right under the key cabinet, so it's (hopefully) one of the last things I see on my way out.

I've had the board for years - it moved with me from California - and it doesn't seem to be available anymore. But this one, by the same company, looks functional and cute. What more could one want?

Functional and cute. Hmm. Sometimes that's about the height of what I aspire to, too.

hmmm

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sat, 05 May 2012 02:12:00 +0000

Tonight I realized my instagram collection consists almost entirely of photos of cats and food.

I know. Hardly a surprise.

a modeling gig with hazard pay?

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 05:53:00 +0000

a chick in peril

Happy Easter!

(photo by Sachi's friend)

life in the urban jungle

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 03:00:00 +0000

maisie's newest hide-out

I recently moved an armchair from the bedroom (Isabel-only territory) to the living room, and Maisie soon discovered the space underneath. Low and completely enclosed by the slipcover, it's a perfect hide-out for a diminutive kitty. Maisie likes to dash full-speed down our long hallway, then slide dramatically underneath, narrowly escaping imaginary predators close on her heels.

Sometimes she hides better than others.

boston flower & garden show

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:47:00 +0000

art for the non-gardener

Earlier this month, Eileen invited me to attend the Boston Flower & Garden Show with her. Eileen is a talented, self-taught gardener who transformed her front yard into an oasis so welcoming she's found strangers lounging on her lawn furniture. As we roamed the vast convention center, she gathered inspiration and ideas.

I, on the other hand, am terrible with plants. It's fortunate for Izzy and Maisie that I'm much better at caring for kitties than the green, non-mobile residents of our home. Throughout the evening, various plants at the show kept sparking memories of my failures over the years:

"Oh, I bought a gerbera daisy when I moved into my apartment! But it died in the heat."

"I tried growing herbs on my windowsill in California. But they dried up and died."

"I once tried growing cat grass from seeds for Maisie. I followed the directions carefully. But it looked pale and sickly and never grew very tall, and then it died."

"My neighbor gave me some catnip in a pot once for Isabel, but it died."

"I had this great idea to keep three little plants in pots on my coffee table, but I think that spot didn't get enough light. They died."

Happily, there were many other plants that didn't invoke ghosts of botanical victims past. I was content to take in the beauty without aspirations for doing any gardening myself, and I had fun snapping photos using Instagram. (As friends on Facebook and Twitter may have noticed, I've grown rather enamored with Instagram.)

The show's theme was outdoor landscapes. We saw elaborate imaginary gardens and decks, complete with waterworks and patio furniture. The displays had been constructed on the convention center's cement floor from wood, stones, and what must have been tons of dirt and then planted with profusions of flowers, shrubs, grasses, and trees.

Other areas featured compositions ranging from fanciful hats and shoes constructed of flowers and greenery to formal arrangements fit for a grand dinner table or hotel lobby. We enjoyed reading the judge's comments, which tended toward statements like, "Strong upward movement of purple blooms is pleasing, but placement of green fronds disrupts rhythm."

I liked reading the Latin names for the plants to see how well they fit. "Fothergilla major" seems perfect for the pom-pom producing shrub above. My cousin, Julie, aptly called it "positively Seussian" when she saw this photo.

Among the vendors at the show were growers of beautiful (and remarkably well-priced) potted plants and cut flowers. I bought two dozen roses from Wilson Farm, plus, given my inability to grow it myself, some wheat grass for Maisie. (Izzy is indifferent to greens.)

Afterward, we stopped for dinner at JP Seafood, a favorite and most delicious Japanese/Korean restaurant in our neighborhood.

I went home and arranged my roses. Two dozen fill up a vase most pleasingly.

And Maisie was delighted with her wheat grass. She says salad makes the interminable waits between meals more bearable.

2011 pet adoption updates album cover

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 04:35:00 +0000

the cross-stitch project, unveiled

Now that the Cross-Stitch Masterpiece had its Grand Showing (hee, hee) at last week's volunteer appreciation dinner, I am at liberty to share it in its Full Glory.

The dog design was one of a set of charming projects featured in a recent issue of Martha Stewart Living.

In a departure from the monochromatic minimalism of the pattern, I gave the doggy a blue eye.

And because he looked bored and lonely in his embroidery hoop, I made him a tri-colored ball.

Although I'd cross-stitched before, my past projects were pretty basic. I was pleased this time around to pick up some new skillz.

Like making three-quarters cross-stitches, explained here. Very handy for creating diagonal lines to approximate curves, as in the MSPCA's heart logo.

This was also the first time I designed my own cross-stitch pattern. Once I realized the wisdom of keeping it simple, I had a blast.

I "framed" each piece by glueing it within its hoop (as shown in step 17 of this cool tutorial) and then simply glued the hoops to the album cover. Now ideas are gently percolating for future cross-stitched covers . . . .

half-baked

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:32:00 +0000

work in progress

A peek at a work in progress. I'm crossing stitches/stitching crosses for the first time in years. It's been fun but not exactly leisurely cuz I need to finish by tomorrow and started kinda late. Cross stitch cramming.

sun worshipper

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:59:00 +0000

presidents' day

Maisie's recommendation for how to spend a sunny winter Monday holiday.

I wish you could feel the fur on her round, sun-warmed head. So soft and so cozy.

five

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 05:31:00 +0000

birthday boy

Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, Aidan the Boy!

(photo by Sachi)

martha meets sleestak?

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:32:00 +0000

flashbacks to childhood television

The March issue of MSL arrived this week. This is the cover.

I find this photo totally disorienting. What's going on with the the gargantuan plants and oversized pillars?* Martha looks lilliputian. I think the effect is especially jarring because MSL covers are usually artfully arranged, gracefully proportioned glimpses of a perfect world.

My first thought: Martha's been sucked into the Land of the Lost!

Does anyone else remember that show? It came out in the '70s - actually, the year I was born, so I must have seen reruns. We didn't watch much TV when I was little (it was forbidden on school nights), but I remember loving Land of the Lost despite the facts that the sets looked fake even to my young kid eyes and I couldn't make sense of the plots. (I wasn't the only one.)

Just the first sentence of the Wikipedia synopsis gives you an immediate sense of what it was like:

"Land of the Lost details the adventures of the Marshall family (father Rick, his son Will, and younger daughter Holly) who are trapped in an alternate universe inhabited by dinosaurs, a primate-type people called Pakuni, and aggressive humanoid/lizard creatures called Sleestak."

Yup, not just dinosaurs and primate-like people, but hostile humanoid-lizard creatures, too.

And giant vegetation.

And mysterious stone ruins.

Which is why I wouldn't be surprised if a Sleestak was lurking behind that ginormous plant.

(LOTL image sources: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4)

* An article inside explains that Martha was photographed visiting Lotusland, "one of the most idiosyncratic gardens in the country." I took a brief tour of the website; it looks like it could be straight out of Land of the Lost.

found

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 23:30:00 +0000

the kindness of strangers

Spotted this sign near work. I was impressed that its creator not only took in the lost kitty, snapped a picture, and made the sign (complete with the tear-off tabs), but even covered it in plastic. Which, as you can see from the raindrops in the photo, was a smart move.

well-stated in january

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 04:07:00 +0000

quotations featured this month on what maisie knows

“I want to appreciate the health, happiness, and home-life, and the people and pets, that I am so lucky to have. I want to be more generous and helpful, because I haven't felt like I've had much to offer anybody lately. I want to be a better friend and listen more when people are talking. I want my shoulders to relax because they're just riding so high it's giving me a sore neck. I want to be outside more. I want to cook more and eat healthier. I want to have patience. I want to trust my intuition again, and have more faith in myself. I want to not always feel so left behind. I want to be more free, and even brave. I want to give more love than I do. Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace. That is my wish for 2012.”
- Alicia Paulson, Posie Gets Cozy. From her moving and beautiful New Year's post.

"Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery."
- Bill Watterson

"I says to myself, I reckon a body that ups and tells the truth when he is in a tight place, is taking considerable many resks, though I ain't had no experience, and can't say for certain; but it looks so to me, anyway; and yet here's a case where I'm blest if it don't look to me like the truth is better, and actually safer, than a lie. I must lay it by in my mind, and think it over some time or other, it's so kind of strange and unregular. I never see nothing like it. Well, I says to myself at last, I'm a-going to chance it; I'll up and tell the truth this time, though it does seem most like setting down on a kag of powder and touching it off just to see where you'll go to."
- Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

(cartoon from Zoom-Comics)

a matched pair

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 03:34:00 +0000

my own phlebotomy experience

You may recall that I mentioned having come up as a potential match for someone who needs a bone marrow transplant. Last week, I had blood drawn for further testing to determine how close a match I might be (and to verify that I don't have any blood-borne infectious diseases).

I lucked out and ended up with a terrific phlebotomist. After pronouncing that my veins were tiny,* she declared that she likes a challenge and proceeded to hit the vein on the first try.

And when she was done, she dressed my arm using neon pink vet wrap, just like Izzy's!

Here, as proof: this very strange photo.**

Now I'll wait for up to two months to hear if I'm indeed the best match. I'm okay either way. If it turns out that I'm chosen as the donor, I'll be happy to help. If not, it's been interesting to learn more about this process. No matter what, I'll send a prayer out that all will go well for the patient.

*I'd rather have tiny thighs.
**I should have been able to realize this without having to actually try it, but taking an attractive photo of one's own arm is impossible.

recovery

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 02:47:00 +0000

a tale of two temporary invalids

We, meaning Isabel and I (Maisie has been happy, healthy, and hungry as ever, thank heavens), have been under the weather these past few days.

Right after I noted that Izzy's been doing great lately, her appetite dropped off and she had a few episodes of vomiting. The explanation, discovered incidentally on last week's routine labs, turned out to be another urinary tract infection.

As for me, after making it past mid-January without a single virus-induced sniffle, I was feeling grateful and just a little smug about the robustness of my immune system. And then . . .

Friday I noticed an increasingly scratchy throat . . .

and Saturday nasal congestion descended like a tidal wave . . .

and by Sunday, I was so achy and miserable and fatigued that any activity except lying in bed sounded like too much to undertake.

But now that Izzy's on an antibiotic and I've had rest, plenty of liquids, and time, we're both getting better each day. Izzy ate all but a few pieces of food in her bowl today. I'm pleased to be more energetic and able to smell and taste again, and I'm newly grateful for (but no longer smug) about that immune system.

just enough

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 01:10:00 +0000

perfect snow

"A light snow last night, / and now the earth falls open to a fresh page."

- Billy Collins, from "Ornithography"

Happy Friday!

We had a beautiful winter day today. Last night about two inches of snow fell, but the morning dawned crisp and sunny. The snow was powdery and crunchy under foot, and as my boss astutely observed, there was just enough to be pretty without interfering with the day.

Last winter, my snow boots sprang a leak (as I finally surmised after noticing the toes of my socks kept getting wet), so I ordered a new pair back in the fall. I've been convinced that my having a brand new pair of boots waiting to be used has been the reason for our peculiarly snow-less winter thus far. I just learned of another person with a new pair of boots, however, and a third who has brand new skis, so apparently the responsibility is shared.

I decided on Bean Boots this time. After wearing them all day today, including for the 3.4-mile round trip between home and work, I understand their fabled status. My feet have been happy: warm and dry, with nary a twinge of discomfort.

stymied

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 03:06:00 +0000

isabel meets vet wrap

Tonight Isabel the Princess Kitty went in to the veterinary hospital for some follow-up labs. She's been doing very well for the past couple months, thank goodness, but was sick in late October with a quite severe kidney infection.

We were lucky enough to get one of the best vet techs today. When Izzy had some oozing from the blood draw site, rather than subject her to several minutes of having her leg held (a prospect of which Izzy was definitely not in favor), the tech quickly applied a pressure dressing using a gauze pad and this marvelous stretchy, self-sticking stuff called vet wrap. She instructed me to leave it on for about 30 minutes.

Once we got home, Izzy, who's never had occasion to wear such a dressing before, was understandably perplexed about the thing on her leg. First she hopped around for a bit on three legs, shaking her bandaged leg vigorously.

When that didn't work, she next applied herself diligently to the characteristically feline solution of trying to lick the offending item off.

Lick, lick. Pink bandage, pink tongue.

Lick, lick, lick.

Pink bandage, pink tongue, pink tummy. (Izzy, who if human might be diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, overgrooms her abdomen.)

"Why so many pictures?"

"How 'bout doing something more useful? Like taking this thing off?"

"Fine. I'll just live like this forever."

"Whew! Finally."

In other interesting medically-related news, I received a call this evening from the Be the Match Marrow Registry. I've been part of the registry for about 15 years, since signing up during medical school, but for the first time, I came up as a possible match for someone. They asked me to fill out a health questionnaire, which I did tonight, and said I'd hear back in three to four weeks if I turn out to be the best match for the patient in question. We'll see what happens!

and there was light

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 02:03:00 +0000

welcome, pretty lamp

I'd had my eye on the Gemma lamp for ages now. Part of her allure for me, I've realized, is her name. What more perfect moniker than Gemma for an old-fashioned, wasp-waisted lady such as she? Those product naming people are wily indeed.

When Gemma went on sale last week "for a limited time," I couldn't help but snap her up. She was waiting for me in the front foyer when I got home today, and right away, even before poor Maisie got her dinner (sorry, Maisie!), I set her up in the kitchen corner for which I intended her.

Such a difference her gentle glow makes in that formerly dim and shadowy locale! I basked in her radiance during dinner.

Dinner, by the way, was leftover pad see ew from Zenna Noodle Bar in Brookline, to which I was introduced last night by my friend, Eileen. If you live around here and haven't been, I highly recommend! Delicious.

the solace of tea

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 23:22:00 +0000

wintry mornings

Recently I discovered Harney & Sons' SoHo tea. The distinctive lilac and black tin first caught my eye - the tea buying analogue of judging a book by its cover, I suppose - but it was upon reading "notes of chocolate and coconut" that I was sold.

Happily, the book lives up to its cover. The tea is delicate and light, suited to porcelain cups, quiet conversation, Chopin preludes. The promised flavors of chocolate and coconut are delectable and subtle. Breathing in the aroma upon opening the tin is an experience in itself.

Mornings these days: Emerge from bed after too many snoozes. Immediately don bathrobe and felted wool slippers. Make quick trip to the loo* (my, that seat gets cold!). Serve breakfast to hopeful, big-eyed Maisie. Boil water; start tea brewing. Give medications to gently grumbling Isabel, who is as enthusiastic about waking as I. Then crawl gratefully back into still-warm bed to sip tea, eat yogurt, solve a Jumble, with Izzy dozing in my lap.

*Use of this Briticism is justified as this post features tea.

restorative

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 02:44:00 +0000

brief reflections on ballet

Happy Friday! The idea for this piece started floating around in my head last fall. One night in late October, my ballet teacher announced that the school was seeking perspectives from adult students to feature in a blog post. That provided the push I needed to finally put my thoughts down on paper. (The web team wanted only excerpts, so just the last paragraph ended up being included on the ballet school's blog.)

Slipping my feet into canvas slippers acts like a quiet switch, shifting my mind into ballet mode. I perform a few simple stretches before class and feel calmer, more focused. I hear the lyrical opening bars of the piano, ease into the familiar motions of the first pliés, and the cares of the world fall away, at least for these 90 minutes.

I believe ballet works its magic in a variety of ways. One is surely the wonderful endorphin surge that accompanies any exercise. Others, however, seem pretty particular to ballet itself. Concentrating on the intricacies of a combination prevents you from dwelling on troubles outside the studio, whatever they might be. Jumping, turning, or trying a new step (while laughing at your own ineptitude) serves as an opportunity for whimsy and a chance to play, both rarities in adult life. And focusing on physical grace and lightness seems to cultivate those qualities internally, as well.

As much as I love ballet, I’m sometimes tempted after a long or frustrating day to stay home rather than venturing out to class, especially when it’s cold or rainy or snowy (or not uncommonly in Boston, all three). I’ve learned not to trust that feeling. No matter how tired my body or dispirited my mood, I can’t recall a single time that I didn’t leave class feeling better than when I came.

(photo by Lucía Sáenz, on Flickr)

bounce!

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:10:00 +0000

a much-loved hamster

Possibly the cutest pet adoption update we've received to date:

Hi Berry,

Here is a picture of Bounce and me. Bounce is now 10 months old. Bounce doesn't bite. She is a very good hamster. My mom calls her Hammy. Daddy calls her "the mouse" and won't hold her. He says, "He will bite me" - he doesn't even know Bounce is a girl!

Bounce likes to hide in the sofa cushions, and I like to find her. She looks so adorable when she sits on her hind legs and begs for a treat. Sometimes she just wants to play. I play with her everyday.

Berry, do you know if hamsters like other hamsters because I don't think so. I made a clay model of a hamster and Bounce tried to eat it!

Veronica

Berry is an MSPCA adoption center staff member and apparently the one who helped Veronica and her family to adopt Bounce.

Oh, the scorn for that poor dad! Withering.

(photo by family of Veronica and Bounce)

an evening in the life

noreply@blogger.com (mari nakamura) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 03:28:00 +0000

on hubris and plumbing

I'd gone for a run after work and had already fed Maisie, eaten dinner, and showered by 7 o'clock. I had a blog post already planned (not this one) and was congratulating myself on being on track to have a productive evening and early bedtime.* And then, unexpectedly (okay, I realize this never happens expectedly), the toilet backed up.**

Bad: I realized a toilet plunger is one of those things you never miss until you need one. And that no, neither my landlord nor former tenants happened to have left one in the basement.

Good: Google is awesome. I typed in "makeshift toilet plunger" and discovered that dishwashing detergent and hot water plus/minus some vigorous motion with a toilet brush can unclog a toilet in a plunger-less pinch. I'm not sure whether any one or all of those did the trick, but something did.

A toilet plunger has been added to the shopping list.

*Early bedtimes remain an elusive but sought-after goal.
**Dad, I swear that I didn't use too much toilet paper and don't know what went wrong.