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NATO, Chicago and how the media lies

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Mon, 21 May 2012 15:34:00 +0000

The NATO meeting being held in Chicago started yesterday so last nights news was filled with updates on how the riots were progressing....something that everyone knew was going to happen. They also continued to remind us that some trains would not be running, there would be heightened security on those trains and that some employers told their employees NOT to come to work today.

In fact, that's ALL that's been ground into our heads for the past 2-3 weeks:

- Certain METRA Trains (the ones that run under McCormick Place) would not be running.

- ALL METRA Train riders would have to go through security and that they were only allowed to carry one bag with certain measurements, and certain items would be restricted.

- There are going to be A LOT of road closures, including parts of Lake Shore Drive through downtown which will make passage from the North to South sides very difficult.

- Employers KNEW that there would be disruption to Public Transportation and Road Closures so they made sure that their employees could work remotely on Monday.

Even further - my company "mandated" that anyone who has a laptop was required to take it home on Friday in case there were further disruptions that would really make it difficult for us to get to the office we could still conduct business working from home.

Here in Chicago EVERYONE has been getting ready for NATO, we know roads are closed, we know of the heightened security, we know that there are going to protesters.

But this morning on Good Morning America, Robin Roberts opened the broadcast with this statement: "NATO Protests in Chicago are forcing the city to shut down train lines and major highways and employers are telling their workers not to come to work downtown today." The problem with this - it's all a LIE.

I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but I actually agree with Sarah Palin on something: today I agree that the "Lame Stream" Media just wants to hype stories beyond what they really are to create a sensationalized version of what is not reality.

And of course, now that the media is reporting of protests and "massive closures" and protests I'm going to be getting a call from my Mom to make sure that I'm ok.....at which point I'm going to have to say to her "Mom, the media was lying" which is a conversation I never thought I'd have to have with my Mom.

Thanks Lame Stream Media!

He Pees Like A Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Thu, 17 May 2012 00:31:00 +0000

He pees like a girl, and I'm okay with that.

Deeohji is 11 months old (Yes, I know I'm one of those "parents" when I have to tell his age by months - you're lucky I'm not telling it to you by weeks or even days.....regardless) and he still hasn't figured out the way that boy dogs pee. You know with the hiked leg on the proverbial fire hydrant.

He still squats like a girl when he pees - and I'm okay with that. It is not my role to force a gender on my dog. If he wants to be a boy or a girl - that is totally up to him. For all I know, it may be a phase he's going through. Perhaps he has to "see" another dog pee in the hiked leg position to get it? I know he's starting to figure it out though.

The other day when we were on a walk he realized that he could smell pee on the corner of the building - without having to bend down to the ground - and he turned around, twisted his head like dogs do and said "how'd that pee get all the way up there" I told him to "figure it out" sorta the same thing I say when he wants to jump on the bed.....figure it out dude, if you want on the bed you know how to get there.

Then today when we were at the dog park he actually witnessed a dog lifting his leg to pee - and another lightbulb went off in his head, I think he may be making the connections. I know that Darryl will be super excited the first time Deeohji lifts his leg to pee - it'll be a right of passage for him - once he does that he'll no longer be a puppy, he'll become a Dog!

Of course that day for me will be a little sad because my Puppy will never be a puppy again, he'll be one of those big oafing grown up dogs who gets his way by forcing himself in line in front of you, and I'll have lost my cute little puppy that used to love to lick my face even when I didn't want him to.

So we're not going to force a gender on Deeohji, he can do as he pleases.....maybe he'll be a girl now, then become a boy for a while and perhaps swing back over to being a girl....whatever he wants to do it's fine by us because we'll still love our little puppy regardless of what gender he is....or isn't.

Hey wait, we got him fixed so is he even technically a boy anymore or is he a eunuch? Crap, i'm as confused as the dog is now!

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 12 May 2012 21:26:00 +0000

This doctors office waiting room sucks,the only magazines they have is ESPN & Mommy & Me. I'm in hell

Facebook and Instagram, sitting in a tree

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:04:00 +0000

K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes Facebook pushing a baby carriage.

Or at least that's how it would go if Facebook and Instagram were people, but they're not!

Wow, what a week it's been for Instagram, first they announce that Instagram will be available for Android phones - which got all the iPhoner's up in arms because how dare they let those dreaded Android people have access to their precious precious picture taking application.

Well let me tell you, Instagram doesn't care about you iPhoner's they only care about the money they make. And with Android now taking more than 50% of the phone platforms it only makes sense, so you iPhoner's stick that in your iPhone and smoke it. You never were special, you never were precious, you were only a stepping stone in Instagrams major plan to take over the picture taking world with a bunch of silly filters.

And with Instagram being downloaded more than 50 Million times (just so you can see it, that's: 50,000,000 times) it's bound to be ever larger than it was on iPhone, so phfttttt to you Apple fanboys.

Now, it's just been announced that Mark Zuckerburg paid $1B (just so you can see it, that's $1,000,000,000 (3 more zeros than a million) for Instagram so he could integrate it into Facebook. A BILLION FREAKIN' DOLLARS!!!!! That's just crazy....for an application on your phone that applies filters to your crappy pictures to make them look like crappy pictures that your parents took in the 70's, just so you can pretend to be a hipster.

I don't get the point of Instagram? What's the point of taking a nice, hi-res picture and degrading it to make it look like it's 40 years old? I thought the point of new technology was to make things brighter and better than they were in the olden days? Does a picture of a flower look nicer if you "think" that it's 40 years old and not juts taken seconds ago on your smartphone and uploaded to the Internet where you can share it with all your friends?

I won't be downloading Instagram, sorry, I like my photos the new-phangled way - bright and sharp.

I imagine that when Zuckerburg was in meetings with Instagram, he was channeling Dr. Evil from Austin Power's and put his pinky to his finger and said "I'll give you one BILLION dollars" and at the same time was thinking "Wow, I got such a deal"

My dog is Gladys Kravitz

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 01:49:00 +0000

As I sit here in the darkend dining room the dog is sitting on his ottoman looking out the window playing Gladys Kravitz. The cat is perched on the kitchen table trying to coerce food from the fridge to his bowl - it never works. And my husband is watching Dancing With The Stars.

Got back from the park with Deeohji and I realized just how much I enjoy having a dog. We were down there playing fetch with a ball. Me throwing it, I know, imagine that, and him chasing it and running to the other side of the park with it instead of coming back to me.

I know he thinks I throw the ball like a girl, but it doesn't discourage me. I keep throwing the ball, and that's all he really cares about.

I discovered that I enjoy screwing with my dogs head - not in a bad way. On our way back to the house, which is just a few blocks, he was straggling and taking his time smelling everything between the sidewalk and the street like he was a bloodhound on the tracks of a serial murderer. As we got closer to the corner he started taking even longer and resisting when I would pull the chain, he was NOT ready to go home yet. As we approached the corner I sped up walking a bit, I shortened the leash a bit and prepared him to "cross the street." He sped up a bit, tugged on the leash a bit and as we got to the corner.....we made a sharp right turn and proceeded down the street, suddenly we weren't going home. So he slowed down a bit and thought he had a few more minutes.....that was until I walked down to a clearing in the street and crossed there....BURN doggy....BURN! Poor boy was so dejected.

Well, I wish I had done that....we ended up going ALL the way around the block.....damn dog.

Are you ready for summer?

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 16:01:00 +0000

Here' s something to get you ready for the upcoming summer.....steaks sizzling on the grill! YUM!

HELLO SPRING!

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 12:55:00 +0000

Classic Post: My First Senior Discount

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 15:09:00 +0000

Classic Post, originally dated 4/17/08, never published

My parents are snowbirds and every year they have the chance to spend a few months in the warmth of sunny Central Florida. And if all goes well, I also get to spend some time in sunny Central Florida with them.

Earlier this year, I had the chance to go to Orlando for a tradeshow, so I combined some vacation time and spent extra time with my parents. My parents are still young and they are far from ever being retired, and where they spend their winters they're surrounded with people in the same situation.

I love hanging out with my parents, we have a great time laughing, drinking, playing games and just "hanging out." When my parents go to Florida they really go to relax because the other 9 months of the year they're working their asses off.

When I was visiting them earlier this year, it was my mothers goal to make me drink a gallon of Rum in the 6 days that I was there....so needless to say - we have a great time when we're together.

It's funny living the "semi-retired" life as my parents have such a routine. Monday night is Bingo (Which by the way is freaking hilarious in how regimented it is.) Tuesday is concert night at Silver Springs - where they go and set up their chairs early in the afternoon so they have a good view. Wednesday is Golden Corral Night - where you can eat as much as you want - and some people spend a LOT of time in there. Thursday is Card Night at the Hall - where you take your jar of nickels and pennies and hope to come home with more than you left with. Friday night is the night though it's discount night at the Chinese Buffet - where they have actual Crab Legs on the buffet and not those declious Krab Legs.

So Friday night we hit the Chinese Buffet - well before dinner time - because dinner time in Central Florida is rush hour for the rest of the world. Everyone loves this Chinese Buffet, not just for the aforementioned Crab Legs, but because they also give a substantial Senior Discount for those diners who qualify.

As is always, when i'm with my parents, they pay the bill - it won't be any other way, it's just like when I was a kid and we'd go out to dinner. It wasn't until we were finished with our dinner and on the way out that my mother proudly proclaimed to all Seniors in attendance that "Michael got his first Senior Discount tonight" and everyone started clapping. Unbeknownst to me, when my Dad was paying (which you do before the buffet) he said "Three for the buffet" and the lady taking the money assumed that he was paying for three seniors, not just two.

So I'm proud to say that not quite 40 years old, I've received my first official Senior Discount....now I'm just waiting for my AARP card to arrive.

Classic Post: Flippin' Channels

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 16:02:00 +0000

A CLASSIC POST: Originally saved on 5/15/08 - never published.

As you may recall, The Roommate and I got rid of Cable TV a few months back as we were sick of paying the outrageous price for flipping through 600 channels of nothing.

The first few weeks after the cutoff day were rough. We went cold turkey! No TV at all. I would come home from work, flip on the tv (for background noise) and instead of hearing the canned laughtrack from The Bernie Mac show there was nothing. And due to advances in technology there wasn't even the sound of snow....you know that noise I'm talking about? Just nothing.

We had NO broadcast TV in the house at all, fortunately we did have my collection of almost 500 DVD's. Eventually we didn't miss TV because we were doing other things. Like reading Vogue and clipping coupons from the Sunday Paper.

The Roommate broke down first and got an antenna for his room, he "claimed" that he was having problems waking up without the morning news. I fell off the wagon shortly after, because I missed going to sleep listening to the soothing sounds of David Letterman. An antenna now adorns my bedroom dresser pretending to be "art."

So now I find myself sitting here doing the same old thing....flipping channels. Only this time I have far fewere channels to choose from. From flipping through these 20 channels, I've learned a few things.

- Most of those people ARE NOT smarter than a fifth grader.
- There's 58 different "court" programs, from the People's Court to the Baseball Bat Court
- Sometimes I wished I knew what they were saying on the Chinese Channel because everyone laughs a lot.
- Sometimes it's ok to not understand what they're saying, especially on the Mexican Dramas.....aye papi! How do you say "Take off your shirt" in spanish?
- Sometimes when you don't want to watch tv you force yourself to watch the chinese channel so you get bored quickly and then go pick up that book that you put down because you were bored.
- I miss TiVO
- I don't miss the Cable Bill that came along with the TiVO
- If you don't understand it on one spanish channel, you're not going to understand it on the other.
- You know you're really not paying attention to the tv when you've been watching the original 1978 Superman for 30 minutes before you realize that it's in spanish.
- PBS is better than the Discovery Channel
- I don't really enjoy the church programs on Sunday morning, so now I just sleep in.
- Why do they always have British people trying to sell us stuff on infomercials? I think the english accent is meant to make us throw our good judgement out the window. Hey that's what happens everytime Andrea comes for a visit!
- White Trash is White Trash, whether it's in English, Korean or Spanish.
- I never quite understood that old lady in Babar, it was like a reverse cartoon where she was the only one of her "kind."

What I Love & Hate about America

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 13:57:00 +0000

I love that in America, when someone is "done" with their artificial Christmas Tree (yes I used the Christmas word - get over it) they will put it out in the alley, in one piece, put together, so that it will get picked up by someone who will recycle it - hopefully by using it!

I hate that in America, someone pays an exorbitant amount of money for a fresh tree and when they're done with it they dump it in the alley, not even by the trash containers, and leave the lights on it because their too lazy to take the 15 minutes to remove them because the price of new lights is so cheap.

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 18:01:00 +0000

Some guy at the barbershop is FORCING his teenaged son to join Facebook!

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 23:51:00 +0000

Got my first congratulations handshake from a stranger today. #gettingmarried

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 21:50:00 +0000

You'll never guess what these are.

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Thu, 26 May 2011 00:30:00 +0000

The virgin mary of the chain link fence

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Tue, 10 May 2011 02:00:00 +0000

Fwd:

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 21:47:00 +0000

I'm sure I'll meet A Queen while in the UK, but will I get to meet THE QUEEN?

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 18:53:00 +0000

Lovely, it smells like spring! Well, that or I stepped in something.

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 02:51:00 +0000

Those were some fabulous wings

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 01:15:00 +0000

Had my 1st @wendys fish sandwich of the season, yeah for Lent!

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 19:06:00 +0000

I can't tell if I feel more like Louise Jefferson or Bob Newhart today.

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 03:41:00 +0000

I think @charliesheen is just setting himself up to be the next Hugh Hefner #datelinenbc

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 14:39:00 +0000

Getting ready to go house hunting, don't worry I won't shoot!

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 15:03:00 +0000

Off to San Lorenzo, where apparently cell phones don't work....hooray!

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 01:55:00 +0000

Aye Papi, we made it

noreply@blogger.com (Michael Lehet) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 21:19:00 +0000

Good bye USA, hello Puerto Rico. Crap I mean good bye lower 48, here we come island life!