What the God

Why Aren't We Updating Anymore?

noreply@blogger.com (Jesse Medina) — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 15:07:00 +0000

Howdy friends,

As you may have noticed, we haven't updated with an article around here in quite some time. Too long, really. And, after this post, we're not going to be updating this blog anymore. It will fade into oblivion just like the thousands of other blogs that have started ambitiously and come to a whole lot of nothing. I wanted to explain why.

I didn't start this thing for the right reasons.

That's a hard thing for me to admit. But in hindsight, after asking myself why it was so hard to discipline myself to write, the answer I keep coming to is that I'm not actually passionate about this blog. I wanted to be passionate about it...but only because I saw the blog as a means to an end. And the end I had in mind was fame and influence in the world of Christian bloggers. I wanted to be the next Jon Acuff or Matthew Paul Turner. I speak only for myself on that matter, but as the initiator of this thing and the only "current" writer remaining, my coming to terms with that means there's no one left to keep the blog running for better reasons.

I'm not actually a very funny writer

I do think myself a funny person, but satire writing doesn't come easy for me. Whether you felt the humor in my blogs was forced or not, it was for me. And that meant that writing wasn't actually enjoyable. Throw on top of that my aforementioned motivation behind writing and it just became a duty.

Those things said, I'm sorry. My intent wasn't to drag anybody along and form a sort of online relationship only to have it come to nothing. I sincerely thank those who took an interest in what was written here and, perhaps, even came closer to God as a result.

Goodbye What the God. It was a nice little run.

Lessons Learned:

1. Be honest with yourself. You actually cannot fool yourself for very long.
2. Don't do anything because you want to be famous or influential. Do it for some other (better) reason.
3. When you fail, admit it.

Do Sermons Matter?

noreply@blogger.com (Jesse Medina) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:00:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

I don't know why, but it has become a trend to hate sermons. Actually I do know why. It is because we're too cool for sermons. We're too smart. We don't like the fact that just one guy gets to get up on stage every Sunday and share his thoughts.

What makes him special? The New Testament talks about the priesthood of all believers. Who does this guy think he is?

Part of the problem is blogs, message boards, and instant feedback in general. Why should Mr. Pastor Guy get up and give a monologue every week and expect the rest of us to listen. We're postmodern, darn it. We deserve a say, too. We have something to add! Communication these days is about dialogue (by the way, don't forget to comment!).

Everyone is an expert in God. At least, we act like it. I know I do (mostly because I am).

But I confess that we have the wrong view of what a sermon is supposed to be. Sure, some pastors treat it like a platform for them to get up and talk about their thoughts and share stories about how awesome they are (I once heard a pastor "confess" to the congregation all the ways he was awesome at showing God's love to others). But I don't think that's what it was supposed to be.

Sermons, by definition, are the proclamation of the Word of God. A preacher who does his job well discerns the meaning of the text through careful study and helps the congregation to understand its meaning and application to their own lives. In that sense, he is a servant to the congregation.

And the sermon isn't just about passing on information, but of the continual hearing of God speaking to his people. Like most rituals (quick comment here: that it is a ritual does not render it lifeless) it continually reminds us of our need for, and love of, God.

So maybe we don't like sermons because...

...we don't like being proclaimed to.
...we are full of ourselves.
...we think we are more mature than we actually are.
...we don't like being reminded of our sinfulness.
...we think we know it all already.
...we would rather be entertained than preached to.
...we're not the ones preaching.

What do you think? Do sermons matter or should churches find a different way to communicate? Don't worry, this article isn't a sermon, you can interact!

Drunk in the Spirit?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 28 May 2010 14:26:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

Check out this video of a couple of guys who claim to be "drunk" with God's glory. We thought this would be a fitting post considering our recent article titled, "Can You Get Drunk/High Off Jesus?"

What do you think? Is it real? Is this Biblical? Were the apostles in the early church stumbling around in a Spirit-drunken stupor? What would be the value of such a thing?

Can You Get Drunk/High Off Jesus?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 May 2010 03:23:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

We Christians are unique people. We have our language, our own clothing, our own books, our own rituals, and even our own celebrities. We’re quirky. Some might say a little weird. But within our ranks, there is one group that comes across to me as even more quirky than the rest: former drug user/alcoholic Christians.

You know who I’m talking about. These are the folks who lived life in the fast lane for a part of their lives. They experienced all the thrills of snorting that line or drinking their body weight in liquor…every night…they know how to have a good time. But, somewhere along the way, they happened to stumble drunk into a church one Wednesday evening during prayer meeting and found the Lord. (In high school, a drunken lady actually came to the church on a Sunday evening and kept blurting stuff out during the pastor’s sermon. Complete awkwardness…especially when he scolded her from the pulpit)

I’ve known a few of these people and had the opportunity to hear how they try to evangelize their old friends.

“Don’t get high/drunk off that stuff, brother, come with me to church and get high/drunk off Jesus. You’ll never be higher/drunker.”

This make sense. Call it speaking their language. Meeting them where they are at. Becoming all things to all men. Want high/drunk people to get saved? Appeal to those desires…and tell them about Jesus’ intoxicating powers. Share with them that story of when he turned hundreds of gallons of water into wine. Talk about his ascension.

That’ll get ‘em.

I’ve always imagined those situations looking a little different:

“Don’t get high/drunk off that stuff, brother, come with me to church and get high/drunk off Jesus. Actually, I’ve got some Jesus right here in my pocket. Let’s go out back and smoke him.”

Getting high off Jesus would be a lot easier if you could bring him to the party, whip him out half-way in, and light him up in the basement.

But there is a danger to this whole notion of getting high/drunk off God. To demonstrate why I feel it is dangerous, I present to you how ridiculous it would sound to use the same method of evangelism for other sinning types:

For pornstars: Come to church and have Jesus orgasms!
For strippers: Come to church and get naked before God!
For prostitutes: Come to church and let Jesus pay the price for you!
For murderers: Come to church and kill the Lord!
For greedy people: Come to church and let God bless you with stuff!
For thieves: Come to church and steal some Jesus!
For bestiality: Come to church and meet the Lamb of God!
For cannibals: Come to church and eat Jesus’ body!
For lusters: Come to church and gaze upon the Lord!

What do you think? Have you ever been high/drunk on God? Can you think of other examples of bad evangelism?

How Should We Understand the Trinity?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 24 May 2010 05:13:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

I’ve heard it said that back in the day when God first started revealing himself to people – you know, Noah, Abraham, Moses – that people thought it was non-sense that anyone would believe in one god. Supposedly, most folks practiced polytheism and had a god for everything (this is not the same as how many Christians think there’s a spirit/demon for everything).

The Jewish people were unique in that sense. And then Jesus came along and exploded everyone’s heads – and by “heads” I mean “conceptions of God.” He started walking around equating himself with God. Of course, to the Jews, this was highly offensive, they knew there was only one God…and Jesus wasn’t very god-like. I mean, he wasn’t semi-transparent. He didn’t have eagle wings. He didn’t sometimes act like the smoke monster. Oh, and he had a body, a human one.

Apparently the Jews think that automatically excludes someone from being God…haters.

And then there’s the Holy Spirit who at one point did have wings (albeit of a dove).

So you have the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit – and the early church says they compose one God. One in three, three in one. Mysterious. Beautiful. Incomprehensible.

But Christians don’t like that crap, so we began to think up how it could possibly be. The following are the results of the best amatuer scholarship on this topic.

An Egg

Think about it. You have a shell, a yolk, and some white stuff. Maybe God’s like that. Obviously, God is the shell because he’s white. The Holy Spirit could be the white stuff because he’s (she’s?) semi-transparent. Okay, the Holy Spirit is not semi-transparent, but just flow with me, here. And Jesus could be the yolk because…I don’t know…its yellow? Jesus could have been yellow, you don’t know.

Water

Liquid, gas, solid – boom – three in one, one in three. They are all water and, yet, they’re all different.

Body, soul, spirit – that’s what humans are. I’m not entirely sure how our soul is different from our spirit, but I know that a lot of Christians think so. Problem with this theory: it doesn’t really translate since these three supposed parts of a human can’t operate separate from each other.

Speaking

I got this one from an old college professor (old in that he is no longer my college professor, not that he was old). It goes like this: God is the man who speaks, the word he speaks is Jesus and the breath with which he speaks is the Holy Spirit. At the time this one definitely beat the others.

But I’ll be honest, I’m over all this trying to understand the trinity business. Why does it even matter? And if we believe God is actually God, we can affirm, without much difficulty, that we can’t really understand everything about Him. So maybe we should just confess that we really don’t understand, but that we believe it nonetheless.

No?

What do you think? Have you heard other ways of understanding the Trinity? Which do you think is the best? Should we even be concerned with this? Why or why not?

Could Jesus Have Sinned?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 May 2010 14:01:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

They say that Jesus was fully God and fully man…like some sort of superhero or something. And its not that he switched modes or anything like Bruce Wayne/Batman. It is not even that he was half God and half man like a spiritual Tumnus (but with a cooler beard). Nope, he was fully God and fully man.

They also say that God can’t sin. I like to picture it like Jim Carrey’s Liar, Liar – you know, where if God tried to sin his face would get all crazy and he’d beat the crap out of himself in heaven’s bathroom. It makes sense, I guess…if God could sin, he probably wouldn’t be God-like. He’d just be some dude who can get away with whatever he wanted. Kind of like Tiger Woods except less black and he wouldn’t get caught.

So it begs the question…could Jesus have sinned? I mean, aside from the fact that it would change some things for the crucifixion with him not being spotless anymore, if he had wanted to, could he have sinned? Or would he turn into a bearded Jim Carrey in a tunic and say things like,

“No, Peter, I do not think your butt looks good in that robe.”

“I know you want to believe he is in heaven, but he’s actually burning up right now in hell.”

“Eh…I’ve had better…wine.”

There are some who think that because Jesus was 100% God he couldn’t have sinned. After all, God can’t sin. Sin is disobeying God and he can’t disobey himself, right? Plus, if we believe that God is actually good, we have to believe that he couldn’t do any bad, under any circumstances.

Then again, if he couldn’t have sinned, how could he be tempted? If he couldn’t have sinned, couldn’t he just say to Satan when he was tempting Jesus in the desert, “Dude, it doesn’t even matter, I couldn’t turn that rock into bread even if I wanted!”

But if he could…does that make him not 100% God anymore? Or would that have nullified the point of the cross?

I propose that Jesus had to have been able to sin for three reasons:

He thought he could. That’s why he was tempted. I mean, you cannot be tempted by something you know you couldn’t have even if you wanted.
He wouldn’t be fully man – by that I don’t mean he’d be like Clay Aiken. As men, we sin – or at least we have the ability to. The ladies are probably very surprised by that revelation, but its true. Without the ability to sin (i.e. free will), he would have ceased to be human.
It would be cheating. Like unlimited lives in video games or a deck of cards up his sleeve. You can’t convince everyone that you’re a man only to pull one over on them by really not being very man-like at all. Nobody likes a cheater.

What do you think…could Jesus have sinned if he wanted to?

Superhero Jesus?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 14 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

We all have a picture of Jesus in our heads. I like to picture my Jesus (insert funny metaphor here):

as a mischievous badger.
as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey.
as a dirty old bum, and I was about to sock him in the face because, well he's a dirty old bum, but then I thought, there's something special about him...
in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party.
like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Maybe you prefer the “baby Jesus” to the “full-grown Jesus” sitting in his golden fleece diapers, lyin' there in His ghost manger, just lookin' at His Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors.

I like to picture my Jesus as a superhero, but the question that broods (it's a good comic book term) in my mind is, “which?”

Superman

I wanted to start with the obvious first. Why not make Jesus my own personal Superman? First because it would be too easy. Superman is the perfect superhero; he is honest, compassionate, patriotic, and pretty much all powerful. What can't Superman do? It would be so simple to make Jesus synonymous with Superman but I like to try and back my analogies and metaphors with some sort of Biblical backing or fact. The problem as I see it is that even though Jesus was honest, compassionate and all powerful... Jesus can't fly, He doesn't have heat vision, or super strength, but most importantly I know for a fact that Jesus ain't no alien that came to our planet because His was about to blow up. There is just not enough Biblical backing for me to make this correlation with any kind of reliability or validity.

The Incredible Hulk

At least there is some Biblical reference to Jesus getting so angry that He is ruled by His emotion more than His brain. Matthew 21:12-13, Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. "It is written," he said to them, " 'My house will be called a house of prayer,'but you are making it a 'den of robbers.' I really wish Matthew would have added, "and you don't want to see me when I'm angry," Mark would've. But I digress, Doves! Jesus totally kicked the asses of guys selling doves, that just goes to show you how angry He was. It's not like the people in the temple were selling child pornography or cocain, they were selling doves. I like this Jesus, it makes me feel better about myself knowing that Jesus lost his temper at least once. But I still have a problem with the fact that it wasn't a constant occurrence throughout His ministry, but I guess if Jesus turned into a horrible monster every time He got frustrated He probably wouldn't have gotten many followers.

Mystique or Jedi

The reason that I chose two different “superheros” is two fold: 1) I have a hard time picturing my Jesus as a sexy blue, gun toting, leather clad, red haired vixen. 2) Mystique is a villain and that's just hard for me to have Jesus be. What is my reasoning for comparing these two “superheroes” and how do they fit into being anything like Jesus? The reason behind this is because of Jesus' ability to shield Himself from the masses. Luke 24: 15-16 as they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him. Who else besides the aforementioned sexy blue, gun toting, leather clad, red haired vixen (let's add one more adjective about her) shape shifter could have disguised themselves well enough for even their closest colleagues from recognizing them? Far be it from me to put Jesus in a box but a sexy blue, gun toting, leather clad, red haired shape shifting vixen is tight box. Jedi on the other hand is a little bit easier for me to picture Jesus as. They uphold truth, justice and have awesome mind powers! I can totally see Jesus walking to Emmaus and happening by these two disciples talking about... Jesus of Nazareth... blah blah... Crucifixion... blah blah... Messiah... blah blah... *tear* *sniffle*... boo hoo... Jesus thinks, “I can't let them know who I am... Quick, Jedi mind trick time!”

Man 1: Who did you say you were?

Jesus: (waving hand slowly) I'm not the man you are looking for.

Man 1: This isn't the man we're looking for.

Jesus: I don't know what you are discussing.

Man 1: He doesn't know what we're discussing.

Jesus: OK, stop

Man 1: We need to stop.

Nightcrawler

The next superhero that popped (no pun intended, who am I kidding they're always intended) into my head was Nightcrawler. He didn't only pop into my head because he is like the best X-Men character ever but because of the verse that was mentioned in the previous passage. Luke 24 (specifically 31) “Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight.” If you can honestly tell me the first thing that popped into your head WASN'T Nightcrawler, let me know and I'll send you a cookie!

Wolverine

All I have to say is POWER TO HEAL!

Batman

Nothing says savior of all mankind quite like Vigilante Bad Ass! This is my pick overall. The comparisons are nothing but (pun intended) uncanny. The biggest parallel is that Jesus was fully human but also fully God (super-human), and Batman or Bruce Wayne isn't really a superhero, he is more of a super-human. Batman isn't a mutant, he isn't an alien, nothing radioactive bit him or blew up next to him to make him the way he is, it is totally Batman's choice to be the superhero that he is. Also let's not forget where both Jesus and Batman get their ability to be “super”, their Dads! Batman has an endless supply of the almighty dollar (buying himself infinite gadgets and vehicles) and Jesus has an endless supply of the Almighty Father (aiding Him in miracles of healing and conquering sin). Finally the most obvious similarity is that both were super-humans that fought against the corrupt government that was in place during their time, while constantly fighting the criminally insane (Jesus had the Pharisees while Batman had the Joker, Two-Face and Catwoman).

If you had to pick what superhero Jesus was most closely associated with, who would you pick?

Why is Jesus the Only Way?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 May 2010 16:15:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

I've been thinking lately. I know, surprising, but it happens. Usually after eating tacos. And I've come up with a joke. Ready? Here goes:

If Jesus came around today, he would be crucified. Ba-dum-cha! Funny right?

Exclusive claims are always that way: we do not like to be told that we are wrong and when we do get told that, we react…often violently.

Jesus did that. He pissed a lot of people off. Particularly religious people. It’s not that he was trying to make people mad just for the sake of making them mad, but when the truth stands in opposition to what we’re doing, it is sort of inevitable.

But my question is: why is Jesus the only way?

It kind of seems like God is just being a bully, you know? Like he actually could have made it so that he wasn’t the only way and just chose not to, just so that he could make people angry and then send them to hell for not going through him. It’s like one big cosmic dick move.

Couldn’t God have done it differently if he had wanted to? Wouldn’t it have been awesomer (it’s a word, trust me…don’t try to look it up, it’s too awesome to be in the dictionary) if God had made the only way something cool and/or fun? Like the following options:

Partying is the Only Way

That’s a religion that would be hard to ignore. Get a good buzz going, go streaking, and eat an alarm clock and surely you will be with me throughout all eternity. Not only would pretty much everyone get in on that, it would still piss off the religious people. Two birds, one stone.

Punching Someone Out is the Only Way

If someone starts a religion wherein you get to heaven by punching someone out and that it gets better the more people you punch out, I’m in. Not only would this create for a religion where evangelism is actually fun, it would guarantee that God doesn’t end up with weak followers. Why? Because punching someone in the face for the Lord takes guts…you’re likely to get punched back and that’s a good thing – you know, edification.

Growing a Beard is the Only Way

This one would have suited Jesus well. And even though it would have excluded all but a few rather terrifying women, it still would have been a great litmus test. Some perks to this one are: manly activities in heaven (i.e. wrestling bears, drinking beer, and being lazy), low estrogen levels (and thus less drama), and steak. Plus, wussy guys don’t get in though there should probably be a free pass for Native Americans since everyone knows they’re crazy awesome even though they can’t grow a beard.

But no, God had to go and make Jesus the only way to get heaven. Why? Is it because he is just a big jerk? Maybe. Is it because Jesus had a better beard than anyone else? Probably not. But perhaps it is something different entirely.

Maybe, just maybe, Jesus is the only way not because God is trying to be a jerk, but because it is just a matter of fact. It might be helpful if we think about this in different terms since religion is so touchy. But let’s say there are a bunch of us who believe that by heading north from Colorado we will eventually get to Phoenix and Jesus comes around and says, “Um, no, the only way to get to Phoenix is to go South.” Would we still think it harsh of God to say that? Would we think he’s being a jerk for not letting us get to Phoenix by going North?

Maybe it is not God being harsh and setting most of the world up for wrath that Jesus said he is the only way. Maybe that’s just the way it is. And if that’s the case, far from God being a jerk, it is an act of extreme love and mercy.

Still, though, the punching thing should be incorporated.

What do you think? Is it cruel of God to make Jesus the only way? What other ways would have been awesomer?

Why Did Jesus Get Baptized?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 05 May 2010 15:07:00 +0000

Written by KC Procter

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptized by him.

John would have prevented him, saying, "I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me?" But Jesus answered him, "Let it be so now, for thus it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness." Then he consented.

And when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:13-17, English Standard Version courtesy of God and the folks at BibleGateway.com)

So WHY did Jesus get baptized?

Traditionally baptism is reserved for sinners who've made a decision to acknowledge their sin, recognize Christ as their savior and desire to make a public profession of faith. Jesus wasn't a sinner, otherwise that whole crucified on the cross debacle was a waste of time. Even John the Baptist was caught off guard and told Jesus it should be the other way around (side note: I love John's mafia-esque moniker. What would your biblical gangster name be?).

"Oh, hey Jesus. What? You want me to baptize you? Whoa, wait a second. You're the Son of God, Savior of all mankind, dying for sins, the prophesied walking-on-water Messiah, right? I should be baptized by you! Actually that'd be really nice because I've been at this all day and if I've gotta dunk one more sweaty shepherd my shoulder will cramp up."

John ended up baptizing Jesus anyway, and mulling over the historic implications of this epic event only a few scenarios come to mind:

It was a hot day

We can just picture Jesus, sitting there in the shade of a sycamore tree on a lunch break with his earthly dad, Joseph. The sun is bright in the sky, it's blistering hot and the humidity is hellish. Since Jesus didn't have a pool in the backyard (He was only a carpenter after all), and air conditioning was a long way off, what's better than to go for a dip in the Jordan river? The cool, crisp water would've been most refreshing. Sheesh, even I could go for a swim right about now.

Jesus smelled bad and didn't want to bathe Himself

Being the Son of God sent to earth to suffer and die for all mankind's iniquities has very few perks. Add to the equation that showers and the practice of bathing regularly wouldn't be implemented for at least a millennium and I bet you $100 Christ's natural fragrance was closer in the vicinity to old spices than Old Spice. Royalty typically don't dress themselves or wipe their own hindquarters let alone bathe themselves. I see Jesus' insistence on John baptizing Him as a sort of, "Alright, I'm dying on the cross for all y'alls sins so I get this one thing alright!? Go easy on the Herbal Essence."

Christ seized a river wrestling opportunity

It's an established biblical fact that JC and JtB were cousins (I'm not sure whether they were first cousins once removed or what so we'll keep it simple). No stretch of the imagination is required to assume these two horsed around and caused a ruckus as kids. Boys will be boys after all. The verses above probably omitted the part where JC came tearing across the top of the water and body slammed JtB to the riverbed.

To kickoff His earthy ministry

I think this quote from the Pope says it best: "Jesus inaugurated his public ministry by stepping into the place of sinners with their guilt on his shoulders and carrying it down into the depths of the Jordan. His baptism by John marked his acceptance of death for the sins of humankind; his coming up out of the water depicted his resurrection" (thank you, Wikipedia). Christ began his ministry with an act of humility, demonstrating his role as the bearer of our sins by identifying himself with sinners through baptism.

I can't imagine what it would've been like to be a disciple of John, to hear his message of the coming Messiah and then one scorching day by the Jordan River - BAM! - there's Jesus...

"Hey cousin, I need to be dunked by you."

"No way JC, You should be the one dunking me."

"No, this is the way it's gotta be."

*DUNK*

[Dove descends]

[Jesus Thinks] That little bird better not crap on me I just got clean

GOD SPEAKS: "That's a my boy."

Don't know about you, but if I were standing there and God suddenly parted the heavens and spoke I'd probably have severely soiled my tunic.

Have you been baptized? Why or why not?

WWJD?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 03 May 2010 14:25:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

What would Jesus do is like the MacGyver of Christian questions. It can get you out of any situation with the same precise intuition as if MacGyver had a bar of soap, a piece of Swiss cheese, a 9-volt battery and a broken light bulb. All I have to say is problem solved, right? When in a jam all you have to do is reach into your (now single) bag of tricks and pull out a single phrase to solve all your problems, “What would Jesus do?”

The great thing about this phrase is that if you ever forget it it's everywhere! T-shirts, bracelets, hats, stickers, underwear; everybody you look at (in the Christian realm) probably owns or has owned something with the initials WWJD on it and I can probably think of a few people that would benefit from having WWJD across the crotch of their underwear! Nothing says, “Keep it in your pants,” like asking yourself, “What would Jesus do?” Wait, then did Jesus ever have to remind himself to keep it in His pants... er... uh... tunic?

As awkward and strange as the question is to ask, isn't that the crux of this question? What would Jesus do is any given situation? First maybe we should look at all the situations Jesus was in:

1. Backstabbing Friend

We have all been in that nasty situation where someone we thought was our friend turned around and stabbed us in the back. Telling someone a secret we didn't want them to know, or stealing someone we were “crushing on”. Possibly spreading rumors about you because they were jealous of your popularity or social standings, you know, to know you down a few pegs. Women do tend to have this happen (or at least they think this happens) more often than men. However Jesus had to deal with the biggest backstabbing dill-hole friends in history. His friend just didn't let out a secret crush He had or that He had a problem performing with women. No, Jesus had his friend turn Him over to the police who then mocked, beat and killed Him... Nice friend, huh?

2. Promiscuous women

What is it about a bad girl that men just can't get outta their heads? Is it a crime to want a girl that looks like an angel but is bad to the bone? Girls that you know aren't good for you are always the ones that entice us the most (sorry if this is a singular point of view, but I'm a guy) and make us do stupid, rash and inappropriate things. These were the girls that Jesus surrounded Himself with. The same type of women that men know aren't good for them, were the same women that Jesus welcomed with open arms. How's that for an image booster in the community?! Can anyone else here the elders (old people) talking about this?

“Did you hear about that Jesus boy?” “Yeah, I hear He is running around with a bunch of sailors, sluts and whores!” “Really?! What would His mother say, doesn't He even care about His family?” “People are talking... They say that He says that those sailors, sluts and whores ARE HIS FAMILY?!”

“Well if He comes around, I don't care if He's the Son of God, I'm still gonna tell Him to get off my lawn!”

3. People spreading rumors about Him

This one kinda gets a little tricky. Rumors are a lot like sarcastic jokes, they always has hurt because there is a small amount of truth to them. Why would we concern ourselves so much with rumors if they really were complete fabrications, nothing but BIG FAT LIES? The reason we do is because rumors are one of two things: 1) they are true or 2) they were true but have become misconstrued somewhere along the way (like that telephone game we all played as kids... the sentence starts out “monkeys eat green bananas,” and by the end of the game/line it has turned into “my car keys stink like mean goats in Montana.”) Jesus had to deal with a lot of rumors from a vast number of people and religious groups during His time. He had to deal with the full gamut of rumors about Him, they ranged anywhere from Messiah to Fraud. Not only did Jesus have to deal with the aforementioned rumors about his friends being sailors, sluts and whores, but Most all the rumors that were spread about Jesus were true. He did hang out with the “wrong crowd” (beggars, cheats, thieves, prostitutes, liars, lepers, etc.). He was the King of the Jews, technically He is the King of everyone. And to be perfectly honest, I think that the rumors that are true are the worst that you have to deal with. Why, because the rumors have be circulating without your knowledge and you have to answer questions that people have already answered in their heads. Refer to Bible verse for support: Matthew 16: 13-20

4. Estranged Father

Let's clear this up before we start this point, Jesus' father is God. Having God as a father has to be one of the most difficult situations there is to live with. Could you imagine having a father that is never around (physically) but sees/knows everything you do?! Talk about “Daddy Issues”! Just imagine having to explain that your dad was God on “Who is your daddy and what does he do” Day.

Try and picture this coming from His teacher:

Teacher: “Jesus, I got the note from your mom saying that your Dad won't be able to make it to class today, but could you tell us what your Dad does for a living?”

Jesus: “Ummm... ok... So, my Dad... ah yeah... my Dad. Well, my Father arts in Heaven... O.K. So basically my Dad created everything.”

Teacher: “Jesus I've had enough of your 'story-telling'! Go to the Rabbi's office!”

Personally, I have always had my dad in my life and looking at it from that perspective I know that I don't know how I could have survived without him. Sorry, you need to give me a second to get my panties untwisted; they get that way when I get all teary eyed talking about my dad. Honestly, I don't know how people live without their father in their lives, it seems like an impossible task to grow up without one. I know this is coming from only one side of the spectrum but know that Jesus went through this same dilemma.

5. Poor family

Have you ever been in the position where someone asks what your parents do for a living and you really wished that they did something more interesting or something that is looked at with a little more respect (monetarily speaking). Not only that but also being ashamed of where you live, the clothes you have to wear or what car your parents drive (you know that car... The 1989 Toyota Minivan with the “two-tone custom sun bleached” paint job and the rusted out bumper that looks more like mashed toast than anything close to metal. OH! And don't forget the busted out passenger window that was covered with a garbage bag and duct tape). That may not have been the exact car but you know that feeling in the pit of your stomach rollin' close to school wishing that your parents would just drop you off around the corner instead of out in front for everyone to see the POS that you have to be chauffeured around in.

Here's a thought for you, Do you think Jesus ever felt this way about his family and where He was socially/economically? Do you think Jesus resented the “life” He was born into, wishing He had a better donkey with chrome shoes or a higher profile job than a carpenter? As interesting a story as being born in a manger is, I can't imagine it would be a source of pride in your life (kinda like being born in the back of a car... that your family still uses) Doubt that you would ever tell your friend, “By the way, where you're sitting is the same seat where my mom gave birth to me!” Would it have been wrong for Him to have these thoughts/feelings, after all Jesus was fully man, or did He have these same feelings we deal with and just deal with them in a more divine fashion (surrendering them to God)?

So, what makes WWJD the proverbial Swiss Army Knife of Christianity? Why can Christians use this acronym no matter the situation they may find themselves in? The fact that we have to realize is that Jesus has been put in every situation known to man and beast once He was nailed to the cross.

Is there a situation that WWJD wouldn't work in? Is there something everyone should wear to remind them to ask WWJD? Can you think of a situation that could have been better resolved if you would have asked WWJD?

Um...Tongues?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:27:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

Half way through my freshman year of high school I moved from a podunk town in Utah to Oregon. At this time, I was not a Christian, though I believed I was simply because I believed in God. However, I began attending an Assemblies of God (A/G) church with my mother and was eventually saved…I think…after responding to a few altar calls.

At one point, my friend Nick from Utah came to visit me in Oregon. Nick grew up Catholic. So when he came to church with us at our charismatic, the-more-crazy-stuff-that-happens-the-more-the-Holy-Spirit-is-moving church, it was an interesting experience. Luckily for him, that day the Spirit was tired and there wasn’t much crazy.

But that would never stop some people from passionately and suddenly raising their hands whilst singing a particularly good chorus. And when they did, Nick did a sort of duck, like he thought someone was about to smack him, and then looked at me with his face half-twisted and mouthed something to the extent of, “What the f*%k?”

I just laughed. Really, though, I was secretly embarrassed. I loved lifting my hands in worship. But I didn’t want Nick to think less of me so I didn’t that day.

Nick went home a few days later, but I stayed at that church for several years. In fact, it was at that church that I learned all kinds of stuff, was mentored, sensed God’s call for me to be a pastor, and yes…was baptized in the Holy Spirit. How do I know? Well, for the A/G folks, when you’re baptized by the Holy Spirit, you speak in what is called “tongues.” Now for us, it was a very meaningful, deep experience. But for those outside of the charismatic circles, and I’m sure for Nick (if he were there), it would mean we had lost our freakin’ minds and were possessed with some kind of demon who had a speaking dysfunction.

From what I was taught, there are two types of tongues: the kind where you speak other languages without having learned that language (like Japanese or Spanish), and the kind where you have a sort of “prayer language” and communicate with God through un-understandable sounds. For the record, I’ve never personally known anyone who had the first type, but I’ve heard they are out there.

But for the A/G folks, they thought everyone should have the second type. And if you didn’t, you hadn’t been baptized in the Holy Spirit and thus had a sort of inferior spirituality. I’m not sure that anyone would actually be willing to say that to your face, and believe me, I tried to get some people to admit it at a later point when I started questioning some of this stuff, but I can’t help but feel that’s what it boils down to.

But, I don’t know that we can throw tongues out altogether.

What if it is true that through some sort of un-understandable moans and groans and otherwise nonsense, we are actually praying in a deeper way? Or even letting the Spirit pray through us?

Is it beyond the realm of possibility?

I don’t think so. Still, though, its weird. And I can’t help but feel that, if you’re not from that tradition, if that is foreign to you like it was to my friend Nick, that is going to really freak you out. I mean, be honest, doesn’t it seem like that’s what cults do? Speak in tongues, play Magic the Gathering, and drink kool-aid?

I’m not sure what I think. What do you think? How have you processed through tongues?

Oh, and for those of you who have no clue what I’m talking about…if you’ve never heard someone speak in tongues, just say the following a few times fast and people will think that the Holy Spirit has got a hold of you.

Bought a Mazda, shoulda bought a Honda.

Do Numbers Matter to God?

noreply@blogger.com (AJ Teaters) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 15:51:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

I recently read the following:

“MERRITT ISLAND, Fla. — As Shellie Ross waited in a hospital for word on her son, Bryson, she posted this note to the social networking site Twitter.com: ‘Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool.’ “(USA Today, 12/20/09)

By the end of the article, I had one big question on my mind,

Does God answer a prayer if more people are praying for the same thing?

Of course, there is a big brouhaha about this woman tweeting while her son is possibly dying in the ICU of a local hospital and, more controversially, how this same woman tweeted just one minute before the 911 call about finding her son at the bottom of the pool. People are screaming for justice and parental negligence because of the actions of this mother.

However, I want to look under the surface of the story and look at what I quoted in the start of this blog. The mom tweeted a prayer request, I don’t know how many followers she has (it doesn’t matter), but she asked a mass collective group of people to pray for the same thing as she was praying for.

And it makes me wonder why.

This scenario paints a vivid picture in my head of all the times my sister and I would bug/annoy my parents in hopes of getting what we wanted. My mom would say, “No,” so what was the obvious course of action? Ask Dad! Then, if both parents agreed in the denial then we busted out the big guns.

“Can we have it now… how ‘bout now… now… now… now… mmmmm… now?”

“I promise this will be the only time I ask, ever! I’ll never ask for this ever again in my entire life!”

“If my friend Blake gets to, why can’t I?”

Mass prayer requests sound like a child whining to a parent who won’t give them their way. Is it that we believe God will prioritize our prayers based on how many times we pray the same prayer or because of how many people pray for the same thing to happen?

Do we think God is a democracy?

Random Christian: “Dear God, please help me. Send your Holy Spirit down and heal me from this cancer that is overtaking my body. In Jesus’ name, heal me.”

God: “Um…yeah…about that cancer, there’s this family in Ohio that has their entire congregation praying for their newborn son to breathe on his own without a respirator… so… sorry, he gets the miracle this time. Hit me up next time, though, and see if you can get more people praying. My motto is, ‘the more the better.’”

Doesn’t this make God sound like a gumball machine? Pay enough money and you’ll get one miracle at a time (hopefully it’s the blue one, they’re the best). Is our faith so little to think that God can’t grant more than one miracle at time; wouldn’t that make him not all-powerful? Why do we think that God is more likely to answer prayer when more people are praying? Is it because our collective prayer voice is louder to God – does he sit up in heaven weighing prayer requests with a pray-o-meter and raise one hand when the prayers get loud enough? Is it because it’s more annoying to God, so He will answer our request quicker?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t pray for one another, but what if there is another point behind it?

It is a subtle difference, but perhaps our focus when praying for others is not just to get God to answer prayers, but to hold one another up before God. In other words, the point is not just to create a louder voice, but to join with one another in love and compassion.

Perhaps we need to go from praying:

“Dear God, please give Dave what he is praying for.”

To:

“Dear God, please give Dave the discernment and wisdom to get through this tough time in his life. Be with him and calm his thoughts and heart. Use me to help.”

God hears Dave. More importantly, God knows what Dave needs better than anyone else, including Dave. And it may just be that what Dave really needs isn’t to get whatever he is praying for. It may just be that Dave needs wisdom, or character, or something else. So instead of trying to democracize God, let’s change the way we pray.

How does God decide what prayers to answer? Does it have to do with numbers or need? Do numbers help?

Are Men Better Than Women?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 13:57:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

When I became a Christian my freshman year of high school, I became part of an Assemblies of God church. Amidst the other unique things about the A/G is that they see women as equal to men – they can and should do all the same stuff men do, notably, the 3 Ps: pastor, preach, and pee standing up.

Fast forward a few years and I am attending an A/G school called Vanguard University where I meet my friend Jon. Jon is Southern Baptist and, unlike us A/G folk, they believe that women cannot and shouldn’t do all the same stuff men do. For them, pastoring is a role reserved for men, only God calls men to preach, and any woman who attempts to pee whilst standing is guilty of great sin.

We had many a good talks about this and I’m not sure where I stand at this point. But there are some things to consider for those who are interested in diving into this subject themselves.

Women had a strong presence in the Bible

Granted, it is a somewhat balanced presence. For every Eve there is a Mary, for every Jezebel a Ruth. On the one hand we might say that this works neither for or against women, but consider how many of the men in the Bible screwed up…try all of them. Well, except Jesus, but that’s only because he found the right code before playing that allowed him 100% man and 100% God status. Some consider that cheating.

It was not good for man to be alone

Do I need to say more? Not really, but I will because by saying more we can be enlightened! Some scholars believe that the fact that Eve was created from Adam’s side is symbolic of their relationship and their roles. That is, man does not rule over Eve (as if she were made from one of his toes) and neither does she rule over him (as if she were made from a hair or something). Rather, they are equal, side-by-side. Further, the word used to describe Eve as Adam’s helper is the same used for the Holy Spirit later on.

Different not Better

An important possibility to consider is whether men and women, though equal in personhood, are not intended to serve the same purposes and roles. For example, women are able to have multiple orgasms – something men are not permitted. Sucks, right? Except that women also have to endure pregnancy and childbirth – a privilege that men are happy to concede. Likewise women, short of amazing talent and also a bit of weirdness, cannot pee standing up like we men can. Is it possible that the same is true for the Kingdom of God - that men should occupy roles that women are not permitted to and vice versa?

I mean, we all have different gifts, right? So the eye can’t say to the ear, “Hey, you weird looking, side-of-the-head-sitting freak, I don’t need you!” The preacher’s role isn’t better than the hospitality person – they are just different.

But I’m a man, so I definitely want to be better. And when it comes to board games, fixing stuff, and the speed with which I can get ready in the morning, I definitely win. But when it comes to making sure there is food in the house, back scratches, and making our house livable in terms of cleanliness, my wife destroys me.

I don’t know…what do you think? Is one better than the other? Are there roles that should only be occupied by one or the other, but they're still equal?

Is Christianity an Industry?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 16:02:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

So I recently got this picture of God in my head sitting up in heaven looking down on all creation over all time and squinting. Then reaching into His front shirt pocket and pulling out a pair of bi-focal glasses (the kind with the big black rims, kinda like Harry Caray) putting them on and scratching His white bearded chin while a low hum comes out from his unopened lips. I pictured God contemplating His creation, debating with Himself on the things that were good and the things that needed to be changed. The first thought that popped into my head was, "I wonder is God ever says HOLY COW! Or is it just COW because everything that comes from God is holy?" But then I thought, "I wonder how God feels about the multi-billion dollar industry that Christianity has become?" Yeah, my thoughts go from eccentric to significant in about 2.5 seconds. After thinking about this I went online and did some research and according to cathedralconsulting.com in 2006 the Christian retail industry was worth $4.63 billion and if you take into account the next 4 years to move us up to present day (assuming the profits stayed the same) Christian retail would be worth somewhere around $18.52 billion. The next closest industry is the "adult entertainment" industry worth a little more than the $15 billion.

As much as I would like to think that Christianity isn't closely related to porn or any other industry there are some similarities that need to be looked at. Remember, we're looking at industry!

1. Bank on addiction.

How can I possibly say that Christianity is an addiction?! I'm not, Christianity is a religion. However Christianity as a business wants nothing more than for you to be addicted to it. I can honestly say that I have far too many bibles sitting on my bookshelf right now. But don't all good Christians have at least 4 different translations (NKJV, NIV, NLT, The Message) and doesn't one of them have to be chronological while another has to have a concordance (or at least wide margins to take copious sermon notes)? But once you become a Christian you need to change your persona starting with your music collection. Grab some good Christian: Rock, Rap, Pop, and Punk too. Don't forget to grab a handful of worship CDs as well, maybe some inspirational bible verse posters and a good devotional book. Get some "Jesus Fish" stickers and subscribe to a good Christian magazine (may I suggest Relevant). Finally pick up some t-shirts that proclaim your faith. The price of this list is rapidly increasing as I speak. May I slightly digress for a moment, WHAT IS UP WITH THE PRICE OF BIBLES?! But that's a question for another post. An addiction to Christianity can be pricey.

Let’s flip the script and look at pornography. Buy a subscription, look at all the pretty girls take their clothes off just for you. Those pretty girls would love for you to chat with them online; they want you to watch them live life. They like to take showers, have pillow fights, kiss their friends, undress and have sex in front of a camera. If you don't have access to the Internet stop by a gas station and pick up a magazine that has those same pretty girls taking off their same pretty clothes in pictures, just for your eyes. If you see what you like stop by a "specialty" store and pick up the same clothes they wear, pick up the same lube they use, pick up the same toys they play with. Each one of these things has a price tag and they total up if you continue to buy into the addiction.

Is it bad to be addicted to a good thing? Should being a "Jesus Freak" be frowned upon? Isn't being addicted to God better than being addicted to pornography? Every single note worthy person in the bible was addicted to God: Abraham, Noah, Esther, David, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Ezekiel, Jesus, Paul, etc. They woke up every day thinking about God and fell asleep the same way; they could not function properly without Him. Isn't that the definition of addiction?

2. Peddle their wears

I can't tell you how many times I have been walking through the mall, down the street or out of a store and a shirt has caught my eye. I always say the same thing in my head, "Wow! That is a really cool shirt, I wonder what brand it is: Volcom, Element, Fox, Tap Out, Affliction... oh, Not Of This World." If we want our clothing to stand out and scream our faith then why do Christian Companies make it look like every other shirt by every other company? Not only that, but Christian retail websites look radically similar to non-Christian websites. Check this out: compare these two websites NOT OF THIS WORLD CLOTHING (http://www.c28.com/NOTW.asp?adid=notw_site) and TAP OUT (http://shop.tapout.com/).

Why do Christian companies feel the need to mirror the world that they are not of? If they truly wanted to set themselves apart and stand out as "different" wouldn't they want to be "different"? Put out some clothes that make Christians stand out (John Daly comes to mind). Maybe the point of Christian retail isn't to be "different". Maybe the point of Christian retail is to be "accessible" to the masses. My point of view on the issue of Christian industry is that God is using something perishable and worldly to lead to something eternal. The shirt, the hoodie or the bumper sticker is a foot in the door. They are conversation starters that could lead to softened hearts and acceptance. They are possessions we can’t take to the Kingdom they are proclaiming and promoting, but instead of the shirt we could be taking another soul.

Is there a problem with making Christianity an industry?

Did Adam and Eve Have Belly Buttons?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 14:51:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

At some point, someone had the courage and wherewithal to ask the most important question that anyone has ever asked:

“Did Adam and Eve Have Belly Buttons?”

Or were their ripped six-pack bellies just smooth?

Some people think they had to have been smooth. After all, it seems weird that they would have belly buttons having not been cooked in the womb. But imagine the shock when their kids come out with that weird yellow-y cord coming out of their belly and then, once that dries up and falls off, a little mound/crater of flesh. Would that have given Adam and Eve some sort of inferiority complex?

Button envy?

Could be. But I don’t think smooth is God’s style. Nope, I think God’s style is more creative than that. But I also don’t think it would be God’s style to trick Adam and Eve with belly buttons.

Which is why he gave them placeholders.

Now, there’s nothing Biblical to suggest that this is the case, but I really think there is an obvious placeholder that God would have used. I know only because there is an inherently Christian placeholder, one that says, “God is my homey” like no other placeholder.

A satin ribbon.

Satin ribbons are to the Christian world what teardrop tattoos are to the prison world. I’m not entirely sure what that means, I just know it means you are pretty hardcore. You know, like you have what it takes to carry out a spiritual shanking.

That’s why where we all have belly buttons, Adam and Eve simply had a ribbon. A red, satin, 8-9 inch ribbon that hung right from their bellies. Why, because Adam and Eve were OT...er... OG! Nothing says, "hardcore gangsta" like a 8-9 inch ribbon sticking out of your abs.

So what prompted the stoppage of the ribbon place holder? Did it really matter that Adam and Eve's children were born and not made? Wouldn't it have been just as simple for God to make a red satin ribbon replace our umbilical chords rather than a hole/mound?

Maybe it's too much to keep tucked in? Maybe God knew that men would get enough anatomy caught in their zippers? Maybe in a fallen world people would be born with different color satin ribbons and thus be subject to ridicule and prejudice? Whatever the reason we are set apart from Adam and Eve when it comes to the centers of our abs.

What do you think? Would God actually have given them belly buttons? Suppose we're right about the satin ribbon...which would you rather have and why?

Question courtesy of Toni Door-Buck

Why is Hell Eternal?

noreply@blogger.com (AJ Teaters) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 15:36:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

I have recently been reflecting on all the accomplishments in my life (just to note, I am only 25) but nevertheless I like to reflect. I came across and interesting fact while thinking about this, I have never been fired from a job. While thinking about this fact I recalled all the previous jobs I have had up to this point in my life (this is chronological): Chirstmas Tree Lot 'Gopher', Papa John's, Bennigan's Host, Hot Topic, Stock Boy, University Copy/Mail Boy, Starbucks, Delivery Boy (not the kind you think), Starbucks (again), Teacher's assistant, Warehouse Distribution, 1st grade teacher and finally 6th grade teacher.

That's more than a job a year from the time I turned 15! I would like to submit that 14 jobs in 10 years is a lot of work. Having worked at so many jobs I have come into contact with a fair amount of people, customers and co-workers alike. I have had every range of emotion known to man, depending on the circumstance I could have been frustrated, happy, depressed or hungry. Most of the jobs I have had have been remedial, and at times (most times) I thought that Hell couldn't be much worse.

Some of the the worst memories from working at these jobs are as follows:

Having customers call in to order a pizza and tell me that they live on Williams Field Rd. Well that's just crazy, no one actually lives on a road. So I went on to ask them which side of the road they live on (North or South). You would have thought this cleared things up... sadly, no. They insisted that they lived on Williams Field Rd. To say the least, the conversation ended with me asking them if they lived on Williams Field Rd did they have cars driving through their living room, and hanging up on them.

Making coffee type beverages for 8 straight hours and the entire time being short-handed and only being able to work as fast as the automatic espresso machine...which wasn't fast enough. Having 20 pairs of eyes watching your every move, making sure that their coffee is made their outrageously specific instructions. "A quad, half-caf, 2 pump vanilla, 3 pump sugar-free hazelnut, non-fat, with whip, 180 degree latte." No joke, I've had someone order that and watch me like over the bar to make sure it was made correctly. I couldn't help but want to scream at these people, "IT'S JUST COFFEE!" After Papa John's I didn't think I could have found anything worse than going home with every imaginable pizza topping crushed under my fingernails, but Starbucks beat them out. Nothing is worse than going home sticky from being covered in every imaginable syrup flavor, and smelling like hot rancid milk.

Nothing beats having a job where all you do is pick up boxes from a conveyor belt, put them on pallets and wrap them in plastic for 10-12 hours. All the while having half your co-workers talk about you behind your back in another language and seeing people who do less than you, on a daily basis, get promoted around you.

In each one of these jobs I felt like Peter Gibbons from Office Space. The only real motivation to do my job was because I didn't want to be hassled or get fired, other than that I just didn't care.

The one thought that got me through each and every one of those hellish jobs was the knowledge that I wasn't going to be stuck in this "place" for very long. I know "very long" is a relative and rather subjective statement, but in comparison to the rest of my life I didn't really spend a lot of time doing meaningless mind-numbing work.

Why did I just go into an in depth record of my work history, outlining specific instances that made it feel like Hell on Earth, because nothing of this world is eternal, nothing here lasts forever.Things may be inevitable (taxes, death, premature ejaculation) but nothing lasts forever.

So if the closest thing in my life to Hell was working at forsaken asinine jobs then that is the closest thing that I have to relate to Hell. The problem with Hell is that no one knows what it is like to be there. You can't just randomly walk up to someone and ask them, "So Jim, you've been to Hell right? What's it like?"

Over my short tenure of being a Christian I have heard a handful of explanations and interpretations of Hell. They range anywhere from lakes of fire, never ending torture and pain, to a black void of nothingness (no feeling, no emotion).

Does it really matter what Hell is like?

Would it make a difference if it were flames and sulfur or nothingness? The one common fact about Hell is that it is eternal; it is forever, and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever times infinity plus one. I think that's what we need to concern ourselves with when thinking about Hell; Hell is never ending. But why? Why is Hell eternal?

What we have to look at is our human nature.

Ever since Eve brought us down (yeah, I said it! It was Eve's fault) we have been ruled by sin.
Sin is the only way to separate ourselves from The Big Guy Upstairs.
Jesus came to take on the sins of the world. He gave His life in place of our sin.
We need to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior to not be damned to Hell.
We continue to sin but seek repentance from God when we royally screw up.
Those chose to reject faith/belief in God are not let into Heaven; thus are eternally placed in Hell

The way I see it is that if Hell wasn't eternal we (Christians, more importantly humans) would find a way to excuse our sin. If we knew that eventually Hell would end we would start to marginalize sin. We would downplay the consequences of being sinful.

The thought process if Hell WASN'T eternal:

1. Should I commit this sin?
2. Is it worth going to Hell for a period of time?
3. Sure... I could spend some time in Hell if I get to commit this sin.

The thought process knowing the Hell IS eternal:

1. Should I commit this sin?
2. Is it worth going to Hell forever?
3. NO!

Hell is eternal for a reason, because if Hell was just a jail sentence (hmmm... say 30-60 years, 20 years with good behavior) then we would be prone to weigh the consequences of being sinful. Sin is separation from God and Hell is the consequence of never repenting for your sinful life. Hell is eternal separation from God.

Do you think Hell won't be eternal? Is God unjust for making Hell eternal?

Why is the Bible So Boring?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 14:17:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

When I think of a perfect Saturday evening, I think of Italian food, a good movie, a backscratch and/or footrub and other things that have to do with myself and my wife which I’m not at liberty to discuss. I’ll give you hint, though: it starts with sex and ends with sex.

What I don’t think of is the Bible. In fact, not only do I not want to read the Bible as my entertainment for a Saturday night, I don’t want to read the Bible at all much of the time.

It would be safe to say that I would rather get a bikini wax than read the Bible on most days.

The reason is simple: the Bible is boring. There are exceptions, to be sure. Cracked.com compiled a list of the 9 Most Badass Bible Verses which highlights a few of the best while offering some hilarious commentary (Warning: the commentary is crude and refers to male genitals often).

But for the most part, the Bible isn’t very entertaining.

And yet, as Christians, we’re supposed to read it, right? After all, if the words therein are inspired by God we should probably spend some time reading what it has to say. But God didn’t exactly make it easy. I mean, its not like The Neverending Story where you enter into the story and get to ride a giant dog-thing through the sky and do epic things.

Instead, it has stories that are so disconnected from our own experience that we wonder how it is that God plans to speak to us through the Bible at all. I just can’t remember the last time I performed an animal sacrifice or was on the verge of stoning an adulteress. Not to mention the fact that it is freaking long…in order to make it the size of a normal book they print it on extremely thin paper and use negative 12 point font. It takes even the most dedicated readers a year to get through it…reading every day! This isn’t your average wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, through-it-in-a-weekend novel.

It's like the perfect storm for boredom. But why? Why did God make it this way?

Despite the fact that I obviously wished it were different, I think the Bible is so boring for a couple of reasons:

God doesn’t care about our entertainment.

Its not because he doesn’t like us or want us to have fun (there’s a blog post waiting to be written), it is because entertainment doesn’t really help us all that much. God loves us deeply and, as a result, wants us to grow and become the kind of people we were meant to be. But growth doesn’t happen through entertainment. Quite frankly it happens through pain. Not just physical pain, either. All kinds of pain: spiritual, emotional, etc. Obviously God doesn’t want us to be in perpetual pain (or does he?), but if everything is easy we have nothing to grow into. Discipline, while it may suck as we're going through it, is actually really good for us.

It wasn’t written for us.

Yep, that’s right…it wasn’t written for us. The Bible is not God’s love letter to us, or our life manual, the book that tells us how to get what we want or even the secret to world domination (speaking of which, you need to watch The Book of Eli if you haven't already). It was written for people in a different time and place, a people with different priorities and lifestyles, different struggles and governments. And because of that, it is often foreign to us. And anything foreign is boring. Which is why I don’t watch subtitled movies (I still haven’t seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon). But…that’s not to say that we shouldn’t still read it or that we can’t still benefit from it – we should and we can. It may not be written for us, but there is much for us to learn from it and God actually can and does still speak to people through it.

We are sinful.

Sucks to admit it, and we don’t like that it is that much of an influence, but it’s true. We find the Bible boring because there is something within us that resists the things of God and, unfortunately, that doesn’t just go away once we become Christians. Heck, some of the time, it gets a lot worse. Maybe the fact that we have a broken relationship with God means that we don't really want to spend time with him when we could be doing more exciting things.

What do you think? Are there other reasons why we find the Bible so boring? Or, perhaps you find the Bible entertaining? Why is that?

Why Are Women So Hard to Understand?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:39:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

Women should come with manuals. Not that any of us men would actually read it…we’re stubborn like that…always have to figure things out ourselves. It is how we demonstrate that we have penises and are proud of our penises.

Then again, we’ve been trying to figure women out since the beginning and, so far as I know, we haven’t been able to. So maybe we would be willing to read the manual. I suspect one reason women don’t come with manuals is because of the risk of paper cuts in or around their vaginas.

Yes, I just said that.

Perhaps another reason why there isn’t a manual for women is because nobody would know how to read it anyway. It would involve run-on sentences, unfamiliar languages (including sighs and body language), and multiple instructions at once. Plus, it would be bedazzled with jewels, beads, and shiny material and smell like fruit. And it would come in an ugg boot.

I can see why some guys go gay. Men are easier to understand. What do they want for dinner? Doesn’t matter so long as it has meat in it. What type of book should you buy them? One with lots of pictures. What do they want for Christmas? Sex and electronics.

Simple, see?

Women on the other hand. Food? Whatever you want. No, not that. No, not that, either. Something greasy but healthy that is cheap and yet romantic. Book? Something with a compelling plot, descriptions of chiseled chests, adventure, and love, but also one that is realistic. What do they want for Christmas? Well it depends on whether she is on her period, what her co-worker said to her the other day, and what her day was like on September 22^nd five years ago.

Do you think it was part of the Fall? Like, maybe, beforehand women were simpler, you know? I’ll bet this was part of the curse for men: “women will drive you crazy! Mwuahahah!”

Actually, in all seriousness, I think the Fall had a lot to do with it. Before Adam and Eve sinned, they were “naked and unashamed.” Sounds awesome, right? But this wasn’t just referring to them not having clothes on, it was referring to their relationship – they knew everything about each other (naked) and accepted each other completely (unashamed). And after they ate the forbidden fruit, something happened. Even before the curses that God put on them. They covered themselves. They hid from each other. And they hid from God.

And the rest is history.

But notice, here, that it wasn’t just Eve hiding. Adam hid, too. We men are partially responsible for this (no blaming the dog on this one, gentlemen). So part of why we think women are hard to understand is because there is something within us, caused by sin, that keeps us from understanding (and all the women say an emphatic “amen”).

So what do we do with that? I’ll give advice to both men and women:

Men: Face it…you have a part to play in not being able to understand women. Check yourself: are you doing your part to listen? Are you working to get to know your lady or are you just expecting her to allow you to be lazy? Pursue her. Take notes. Figure out what she likes (a trip to the mall, a bookstore, and a food court will help with this) and remember it. Set reminders for yourself to follow up with her about stuff she tells you. Forgive her for not looking like a supermodel. Or, if she does, take lots of pictures of her naked (that is, if you're married to her)…she isn’t going to look like that forever.

Women: Face it…you have a part to play in men not being able to understand you. We know you want to be pursued, but you have to help us! Don’t hide everything. Tell us what you want. Drop hints…subtle and obvious (depending on how dense your guy is). Try to be consistent – don’t try to play the cool girl who doesn’t like flowers one day and the next get upset that we never give you them. Forgive us for not having chiseled chests (well, not me, I have one…depending on your definition of “chiseled” and “chest”). And for the love of God, if you get angry at us, just tell us why. Don’t play that if-you-don’t-know-I’m-not-going-to-tell-you game. That’s stupid.

There, now we’re both a little easier to understand.

Are there other reasons you can think of that women are so hard to understand? What about men, what makes us hard to understand? If you're a guy, what advice would you give to women? If you're a girl, what advice would you give to men?

Why Does God Heal Some People?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:18:00 +0000

Written by KC Procter

There are a lot of sick people. I don't know the number off hand, but if you count how many died since you started reading this blog post it's about 13 already which equates to about 55 million a year. And that is just dying, not even catching a cold or being diagnosed with cancer.

Fortunately for some God intervenes miraculously and PRESTO! no more sickness. Now it could be argued that God accomplishes this through gifted doctors, modern medicine and simple "prompting" folks to live and eat healthier. But I digress.

The question isn't "how does God heal some people?", but rather "why does God heal some people?". Which of course begs another question, why doesn't God heal some people?

First, I'd like to explore why Jesus healed people - ya know, back in the day:

Good for the Ratings

Nothing boosts a leader's public image like a solid "rise and walk" routine. Jesus probably was eye-balling the crowd for a sickly soul while telling a parable for just this reason. "Bless those who curse you..." (oh! right there in the 50th row, 3 stones from the left - that little girl on crutches. Jackpot!)

Trying to Appease Unruly Mobs

It's a well known fact a number of the disciples worked as Christ's bodyguards. Don't believe me? Google it. I mean seriously, you think a couple of fisherman aren't gonna know how to throw down? Anyway, even a handful of brutish sailors can't fend off an audience of 5,000. I can see Jesus strategically assessing the situation and just sprinting through a tense crowd in a bee-line, hands out to his sides and touching as many people as possible, sick or not. The ones who weren't sick probably got an energy boost similar to 3 cases of Red Bull. Jesus gives you wings!

Leprosy is Nasty

You can't tell me that if you had the power to heal and someone w/ a decrepit skin/bone disorder crossed your path that you wouldn't heal them just so you didn't get grossed out.

Blind People Bumping into Him

Apparently the "bible times" were riddled w/ blind people everywhere. Jesus did a lot of walking around so it stands to reason that, on more than one occasion, a visually impaired citizen would quite literally run into Christ. Being the Son of God and all gracious and merciful, He was probably really cool with it the first 10 times. But that 11th time...

(Paraphrased from Matthew 8)

[Bump]

JC: "Ouch! Dang it!" (Jesus didn't swear because when He said "damn it" things died)

Blindy: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir. I didn't see you there."

[Spit]

JC: "See anything now?!"

[Prayer]

JC: "How about now?"

Blindy: "Holy Moses! This is incredible. I can SEE!"

JC: "Why does he get credit? Whatever, now get out of here and stop tripping people. And don't tell anyone I spit on you."Now, why does God heal some people and not others? Here are a couple of possibilities:

1. He doesn't have time. If God exists outside of time (referencing the whole "a day is as a thousand years and a thousand years are as a day" bit from The Book) then it could be argued He doesn't have any. Mull over that one with your noodle for a bit.

2. It's completely arbitrary. Since God is so smart He knew there'd be billions (or is it trillions now?) of sick people over the eons needing to be healed of this or that so He created a very complex random computer generated selection process. It's much more efficient and frees Him up to play golf with Gabriel and target practice for the End Times.

3. Without pain there is no gain. Think about it. If we were all running around with no cancer, STD's, mental illness, learning disabilities, etc because whenever they popped up God just blinked them away (like that chick on I Dream of Genie - whatshername) we'd hardly ever have a reason to rely on Him (besides the food, shelter and shiny toys). Experiencing pain builds character.

Mark Batterson in his book "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" talks about how when a bone is broken (major pain) and then heals over time (more pain) it is stronger than before (major gain). Maybe God is trying to teach us or those around us something through experiencing the pain of whatever illness plagues us (hopefully not THE plague though because that one was a doozie). After we've come through a painful situation we are better equipped to minister to others in similar circumstances.

4. We live in a broken world. Pain and sickness are part of the human condition until we get to Heaven. No beating around bush on that one (especially that burning one Moses saw).

I've been through a fair amount of pain and more than once God has saved my bacon. When people look at me with pain in their eyes and ask "Why can a God of love allow this to happen?" there really isn't a way for me to answer that without coming off preachy or an emotionally disconnected jerk.

Honest answer? I have no idea. But I know He loves you.

Is God still "good" if he doesn't heal some but chooses to heal others? What is God's criteria for healing someone? How do you deal with accepting God's choice not to heal you?

____________________________________________________________

K.C. (@ThatGuyKC on Twitter) is a native Seattle-ite working on an MBA while plodding through a job as a cubicle dweller and trying to figure out what to do with his life. He’s married to an awesome wife, has a rambunctious 8 year old son, and a feisty little redhead daughter of 2 ½.

What's Up With Babel?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:33:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

What's the deal with Babel? You know you're thinking it, I just have the balls to ask it. Yeah, that was a little over the top but it's true, what's the deal with Babel?

Babel... what came out of Babel? Language. Without Babel the world wouldn't have different languages which means that every other country of the world wouldn't be trying to learn English while America continues to be lazy and apathetic toward learning another country's language. Oops, did I just say American's were lazy and insensitive. And did I insinuate that if there was only one language on Earth it would be English?! Does that qualify me to be a bigot, or just insensitive?

The story of Babel is ONLY 9 BIBLE VERSES! God chose to explain how language was spread throughout the world in only 9 Bible verses? I want to assume that something got left out. I want to assume that there is more of a story there than what is being told. Why do I want to assume that there is more to the story of Babel than what is being told, because it reads like a Cliff Notes; all the facts no story.

They have an idea, they start to build, they were scattered. I have a theory that this wasn't as group thought as the Bible may have us think. Like I said the story isn't being told just the facts.

The story has to start with a single man (notice I said, "man" and not, "person") and this single man got all the other men riled up and excited about his new and awesome idea to build a tower to heaven. “LET'S BUILD A TOWER TO HEAVEN,” What?! Who says that? I'll claim it, a man! Only a man with bigger balls than brains would ever suggest something so ridiculous. This coming from the same gender that I can only imagined gave us milk by saying, “I am going to drink whatever is in that cow!” Luckily they found the utters first.

The Real Story:
Babel is having a town meeting about what is going to help bring more tourism to their city. They begin to throw out ideas about amusement parks, memorials and audience voting capital punishment game shows, until the dumbest of the men decided to shout out the most unintelligent idea ever, “TOWER TO HEAVEN!” Since in those days there were no women allowed at these meetings no one had the foresight... no that's too nice... let's try that again. Since in those days there were no women allowed at these meetings no one had the common sense to say (don't forget to make this sound shrill and condescending), “Really?! You are planning on building a tower to heaven, there is nothing better you can do with your time than BUILD A TOWER TO HEAVEN?”

Come on guys, any and all of you who are in a relationship (married, engaged or other) can hear your significant other saying that to you. It's really doesn't take a large stretch of the imagination to think a woman would try and talk men out of building something completely ridiculous and useless.

Now before I get a bunch of feminists jumping all over me (trust me sounds more fun that it is) the reason behind this idea is because men are stupid. Ask any woman what happens when men get bored and they will tell you one of two things, “They (men) are going to find a way to get into trouble,” or, “They (men) come up with crazy ideas that need to be brought into fruition.”

Notice the parallel:

“They” equals men because how could anyone besides men come up with this idea?

They said to each other, "Come, let's make bricks and bake them thoroughly." They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. 4 Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth." 5 But the LORD came down to see the city and the tower that the men were building. 6 The LORD said, "If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other." (Gen. 11:3-7)

“They” cannot include women because if women were present during the discussion of building a tower to heaven it would have never happened and we would all still be speaking the same language.

I would even venture to say that “They” is synonymous with “Men” in this passage because of Gen. 11:7 “'Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.'” If we (men) are truthful we can honestly say that we don't understand anything anyone tells us. Men have their own language (mostly grunts and scratching), while women can communicate with each other over long distances without even saying a word.

So I'll leave you with: who was the one God punished because of the Tower: men, women or both? What's the deal with Babel, one word; MEN.

Why did God choose to use this circumstance to explain language? Was Babel more important than it seems in the Bible? Who's idea do you think the tower really was?

Why is God So Pissed in the Old Testament?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 13:30:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

When reading the Bible, there seems to be a stark contrast between the God of the New Testament who is largely characterized by words like love, grace, forgiveness, goodness and the God of the Old Testament who is best described as pissed off.

Here are a couple of examples of God’s pissed off-ness in the Old Testament:

1. Remember that touching story when God told Noah to build a big boat and everyone thought that Noah was crazy? And remember how all the animals came two-by-two like they were in love, and then God flooded the earth and killed everyone except Noah and his family?!?!?!? That is in Genesis 6 and 7.

2. Deuteronomy 20 contains instructions from God to the Israelites when going to war. They are instructed to make foreign peoples an offer of peace…how nice of them, right? Except that “peace,” according to God, means forced labor. And if they don’t accept the offer of peace they should “put the sword to all men in [the city].” And as for the women, children and livestock…well these are “plunder” for the Israelites. That is, unless it is a city being given them as an inheritance by God. And if that is the case, well, I’ll let the text speak for itself, “do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them.” Gives me the warm fuzzies.

3. Sodom and Gomorrah. ‘Nuff said. (Genesis 19)

4. Joshua 11 tells the story of how awesome Joshua and his army were. He and his band of soldiers took on the armies of several nations and completely destroyed them. Kind of like 300 except with less nakedness (that we know of – it could be that there was much more nakedness…in which case they need to make a movie) and the fact that Joshua ended up winning unlike Leonidas and his wussy band of soldiers. And this was all because, “…it was the LORD himself who hardened their hearts to wage war against Israel, so that he might destroy them totally, exterminating them without mercy” (Joshua 11:20).

5. Here are some commandments taken from Exodus 21

When buying servants (not as bad as slaves), set them free after they have worked for you for six years. Because anything over that is just rude?
But the servant can stay if he wants…only after his master pierces his ear with an “awl” which sounds like it is something between a crossbow and a pick axe.
If you sell your daughter into servanthood – yes, if – then she can’t go free in the 7^th year like the aforementioned servants. It’s business, people.
If someone intentionally kills someone else, kill them. Yeah, yeah…old news.
If you attack your parents, you are to be killed.
If you kidnap someone and either sell them or get caught still possessing the person, you should be put to death. I guess that’s fair.
If you curse your parents you should be killed. As a child I think that’s crap, but I think I’ll change my mind once I have kids.
If a man beats his slave and the slave dies he should be punished. But as long as the slave can get up after a day or two, that’s all good.
Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise. Parents really need to start employing more Biblical practices here.
If you have an unruly bull and you neglect to keep it from goring people, you should be put to death…unless you pay a lot of money. This does not apply if the person gored is a slave. In that case, only the bull dies…everyone knows that.

6. Last but not least, the 9 Most Badass Bible verses – the best of which is the story in 2 Kings 2 where Elisha sicks bears on about 40 kids for calling him bald and they get mauled to death. Hilarious. (By the way, if you have an aversion to cussing, I'd suggest not clicking on that link)

So…do you agree that God is pretty pissed off in the Old Testament? These are just a few examples, but the Old Testament is chock full of them!

This of course presents a problem for us, particularly when we consider that according to Malachi 3:6, God does not change. What happened between the Old Testament when God had some sort of fascination will killing and/or exaggerated punishment and the New Testament when he’s all about the love and Jesus dances in meadows with a sheep on his back and his perfectly curled hair blowing in the wind?

In short…nothing.

There is a lot of violence in the Old Testament, but it is not without a great deal of love as well. In fact, it should be noted that God could have easily obliterated humans from the planet back when he flooded it in Noah’s time. He was under no obligation to be merciful to Noah and his family. I suppose that would be a question of whether it better to have died than never to have existed at all.

But, still, why was God so pissed in the Old Testament?

There are at least two possible reasons:

The first is that men (that is humans) were wicked, plain and simple. This may not seem like such a big deal to us, but it is to God. And we should note here that we are in no position to determine what is actually wicked and what is just considered wicked because of our position in history and the philosophy that informs us – this has changed since the beginning of time…what makes us think we are correct now when every generation before us thought the same and we call their actions wrong?

But God is not limited to either history or philosophy. Even more, he understands the full extent of our wickedness and the consequences thereof. Though it may seem odd to us, it may be that these violent acts are actually acts of mercy, preventing something that would have been worse.

And the second possible reason is that God had a plan. That plan was Jesus Christ. That plan was grace. But that plan would not have been accomplished without (1) the law and (2) a people from which Jesus could be born, complete with their history. Jesus only meant grace, forgiveness, and atonement because the Israelites went through all that they did. What was the atonement without the sacrificial laws? What was salvation through grace alone without salvation through works? What was a deliverer without something to be delivered from? Far from being cruel, this is God’s goodness coming out. Because of his choosing of the Israelites and the Old Testament violence, the whole world can now get in on redemption.

What does this mean?

It means that God is not done being pissed. Nothing changed. God still hates wickedness and unfortunately, we allow it to run rampant. But judgment day is still coming and God’s wrath will be unleashed on the unrepentant. This is not cruel, this is just. Wickedness should be punished, we all know that. What we don’t know, what we are ignorant of, is what is really wicked and what the appropriate punishment for wickedness should be. But God knows that.

But, he is also not done with love. And that is good news indeed.

What do you think? Are there other reasons God might seem different in the NT than in the OT? Do you struggle the with God of the OT?

What Social Network Would Jesus Use?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:06:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

With the recent wave of social networking sites and blogs popping up quicker than rednecks lining up for a Jeff Foxworthy comedy show, I thought it might be a good idea to think about how Jesus would perceive all this “innovation”. I think the important question to ask is WSNWJU, or What Social Network Would Jesus Use? Let’s look at the options: Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.

Facebook
Status Update:
· Jesus (The Christ) of Nazareth is totally stoked that He just walked on water

Comments:
· Peter: NO WAY?! I don’t believe it!
· Mark: That’s awesome, I bet you kicked that waters ass!
· Luke: Based on your size and weight and the laws of water displacement… That’s a miracle!
· John: Ye of little faith… Come on guys, He is the Son of God!!!

Status Update:
· Jesus (The Christ) of Nazareth is feeling betrayed

Comments:
· Peter: It wasn’t me!
· Andrew: Peter, it’s NEVER you.
· James: What’s up J? You sound concerned
· John: is this called foreshadowing or prophesying?
· Philip: You guys are always jumping to conclusions; maybe He just had a bad day.
· Bartholomew: I don’t think Jesus has bad days Philip… wait… do You, Jesus?
· Thomas: I doubt someone betrayed him. I want some proof!
· Matthew: Has anyone actually talked to Him about this, or are we all just gonna post comments and hopefully hear back?
· James the Less: Is now a bad time to ask for a better/cooler nickname than “the Less”?
· Thaddaeus: Yeah James the Less it is a bad time… But I’ll indulge you anyway. How about this one, James the Douche Bag?! Jesus is trying to tell us something.
· Simon: Has anyone seen Judas lately?

So maybe these wouldn’t be the exact conversation threads that would be happening if Jesus used Facebook, but we all know that He would have joined 2 groups (Jews and Gentiles), and been a fan of only one page (Abba is my Homeboy). I can't help get this picture in my head of the apostles playing Farkle to decide between Barsabbas or Matthias.

If Jesus were alive today and using Facebook He would have between 1.5- 2.1 billion friends! Eat your heart out Ashton. But are we so naïve to believe that Jesus would limit himself to only one social networking site?

Twitter
Tweets:
· TheTrueJC: What are the odds of someone already using “JesusChrist” as their twitter name?
· TheTrueJC: @SimonPeter Cast your nets, I will make you fishers of men.
· TheTrueJC: Getting ready to talk about the @prodigaljohn - er, Prodigal Son.
· TheTrueJC: I really hate it when people are selling idol nick-knacks in the temple. Someone should do something about it.
· TheTrueJC: I did something about it ;)
· TheTrueJC: What’s the deal with the sandals… I would kill for a pair of Nike high tops.
· TheTrueJC: Parable of the Prodigal Son http://tinyurl.com/yzsnwp5
· TheTrueJC: @12Apostles Break bread in remembrance of me. My body is given for you.
· TheTrueJC: @JudaofIscariot You better be buying something nice with those silver pieces!
· TheTrueJC: @SimonPeter 1…2…3…you just denied me 3 times… I hate to say I told you so, but I TOLD YOU SO!!!
· TheTrueJC: @PontiusPilate Barabbas … REALLY?!
· TheTrueJC: I always knew a cross would be heavy, but this is crazy ridiculous!
· TheTrueJC: @AlphaOmega It is finished.
· TheTrueJC: @Satan666 I’m back! #3dayslater
· TheTrueJC: Yeah, well I think @JesusNeedsNewPR needs new PR! ;)

All I have to say is that if Jesus was on Twitter I would follow Him. I can only make an educated guess at the only person He would follow, but I think it would probably be AlphaOmega(GOD).

MySpace
I’m gonna have to be completely honest with you guys/gals… I have a MySpace but I never use it. I haven’t been on it for probably over a year so anything that I try and recreate on this post is probably going to be completely fake and superficial and that’s not what I’m about.

The angle that I take Jesus using MySpace is for evangelism. Everyone knows that MySpace ain’t nothing but a big Booty Call website disguised at Social Networking. It’s where all the Judas’ and Jezebels hang out. It is a virtual “pool hall on the wrong side of the tracks”, but Jesus WOULD use it to further The Kingdom of God.
I just can’t help picturing Mary Magdalene messaging Jesus:

Hey cutie pie,

You don’t know me but I was hopping around from friend to friend and I came across your profile picture. Damn boy, you are sexy! I don’t think I should tell you this but facial hair really turns me on. There is just something different about you, you seem to be a man that has everything together and you’re so confident. We haven’t ever met but I can just tell what a powerful man you are. I would love to get to know you better, maybe on a deeper level? Hit me up some time.
<3 MM

Reply from Jesus to Mary Magdalene:

Beautiful child,

Funny thing is I do know you. You have been down a rough road and have made some bad decisions but I want to help you get your life straight. I think we should meet and I think I can get you to that deeper level. We should meet up in Galilee, I think there are a few things (7) that you need to get off your chest. Thanks for the compliments, you made me blush, but the important thing is getting your life back on track. Let’s draw a line in the sand.
Eternally,
JC

Would Jesus use Social Networking? What do you think? Would you update differently knowing that Jesus was using social networking?

Is It Okay for Christians to Cuss?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 13:30:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

The following list was compiled as the result of very in-depth scientific data gathering among today’s Christians. Consider it on a level just beneath the canon of the Bible.

Top 10 Most Offensive Things to Christians

10. The following books/movies: Harry Potter, DaVinci Code, The Golden Compass
9. A dislike for Joel Osteen
8. Cussing
7. Smoking and/or Drinking
6. Being a Democrat
5. Watching R-Rated Movies (scholars are divided on whether The Passion is included)
4. Preferring secular music over Christian “music”
3. The word “masturbation”
2. A dislike for Kirk Cameron
1. Saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”

Today, I want to focus on number 8 – cussing. Though dropping an f-bomb is not nearly as bad as saying “Happy Holidays” for most Christians, it is still severely frowned upon. In fact, in most Christian circles, using a word that can be defined as cussing is enough for your salvation to be called into question…even if the rest of your life is completely in line with Christ.

Part of what is interesting about this, though, is that there isn’t a consensus on which words are considered cussing. For some, words such as gosh, darn, freak, and shoot are just as bad as the words they replace. I know this firsthand as I was once berated for saying “freaking” at a youth group event. According to the volunteer/mother of one of the students, it was "just as bad as saying the real thing." In my not-so-wise response, I offered to say the real thing. She wasn’t happy.

There is another one that is particularly abrasive for Christians, though I think most people wouldn’t say it is an actual cuss word…just a word that they don’t like. I’ve used it several times in sermons and my wife always tells me how bad it is: pissed. I don’t know why, but it is like nails on a chalkboard for Christians.

But what does the Bible say about cussing? Let’s examine a few things:

Verses

There are a few verses that it seems everyone brings up in relation to this conversation:

James 3:9-10

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

Seems pretty clear, right? Not necessarily. James here could be talking about cussing, but he could also be talking about cursing someone – and these are two different things. The context seems to indicate this about the process of building someone up or tearing them down. Either that or gossip. Or wisdom. But it doesn’t seem to be talking about “bad words.”

Colossians 4:6

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

The shortcoming of this verse as reason to not cuss should be obvious: grace is not about specific words but the attitude/tone of conversation. My words can be completely void of cuss words and still not be infused with grace – and if you’ve ever been on the receiving side of someone who, without cussing, tears you down, you know how terrible it feels. On the flipside, I could cuss like a sailor and show more grace than many Christians do.

Matter of the Heart

But perhaps the more important question that we should be asking when someone says certain words is what it reveals about the heart. Though many of us adhere to the old adage of “garbage in, garbage out” Jesus didn’t. In fact, in one particular instance, he says that it is not what goes into a man’s mouth that make him unclean, but what comes out of it since that is a reflection of the heart.

Still seems to condemn cussing, right?

Not necessarily. When Jesus taught on this, he said nothing about bad words. Instead he listed some of the evil things that come from the heart: evil thoughts (no clarification there), murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander.

So here is a question worthy of considering: can a positive message be communicated even when so called “bad” words are used?

Cultural Construction

Would cuss words be considered cuss words if nobody told us they were bad? Or what if we grew up and cuss words were normative for our vocabulary – would they be sinful? We would definitely say this for some things: murder, adultery, etc., but we aren’t so quick to say the same when it comes to words. Perhaps the reason is because we don’t even have consensus on which words are bad among our different Western cultures.

But can we really say that sin is relative to one’s culture? That’s a slippery slope.

Think about it.

The Bible's Writers Sometimes Used Cuss Words

Say what?!?! God cusses? For shizzle my nizzles. For example, when Paul says that oft-quoted, feel-good thing about how he considers all things rubbish compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8), the word he uses for "rubbish" is a sort of street-language way of saying feces. It isn't quite the same as saying "crap" either, though. Paul is actually using a vulgar word here to make a point. Essentially, he is saying that he considers all things "shit" compared to knowing Christ.

That's hits us in a different way, a more real way, than saying rubbish or crap or dung or poop, doesn't it? The darkness of the term makes the light of Christ shine all the more.

Want more examples of God's filthy mouth? Check out this (much more serious, insightful, boring-but-still-great) article.

Bearing with the Weaker Brother

With all of that in mind, then, I have to conclude that cussing is not necessarily sinful. Dropping an f-bomb isn't in the same category as lust or idolatry or murder. It may be a sin, but it is only that to the extent it reflects something sinful in the heart.

That said, before you go off and drop the f-bomb in Sunday School there is something you should be aware of. Some may be weaker than you. Some may not understand that it is not a sin. The trouble is, you will not know who those people are right away. Since that is the case, be careful how you exercise your freedom.

What do you think? Can "cuss words" be used to build up or are they all bad? How might this affect the way you choose (or choose not) to use cuss words?

Why Doesn't God Talk Back?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 13:15:00 +0000

Written by AJ Teaters

The general hierarchy of conversations, from best to worst:

1. Best: Two people having a good back and forth (give and take) communication, feeling comfortable.
2. Good: Two people communicating with some breaks in the conversation because of lack of common interest.
3. Average: Two people talking about a single topic while each person just adds a few words to the conversation.
4. Poor: Two people talking about topics that only interest them staring each other down waiting for the next opportunity to take over the conversation (pirate talkers: looking for the first opportunity to overtake the conversation with their ideas or opinions).
5. What we do to God: One person talking about their problems, needs and opinions; basically word vomiting all over the helpless other person in the one-sided conversation. Not letting the other person give any insight, direction or verbal confirmation of what is being talked about. (one-sided conversation)

Have you ever been on the wrong side of a one-sided conversation? Is there ever a right side of a one-sided conversation? I can honestly say that I have been on the wrong side of many one-sided conversations, and not one of them have I walked away from happy.

The general structure of a one-sided conversation tends to make one person (the one doing the talking) look like a total egocentric jerk; neck vein bulging, drool seeping out of the side of their mouth and eyes popping out of their heads, while the other (the one trying to get a word in) looks like a sick puppy that is being put to sleep; mouth half open, eyes glazed over, leg twitching with anticipation to get out of there as soon as there is a break in the conversation. Why do we do this to each other? Sure, most of us love to hear ourselves talk and could care less if you (the listener) are actually listening. Most people aren’t really listening anyway, right? Most people are just waiting for their turn to talk.

Is that what we are doing to God? Do we not hear from Him because we are too busy listening to ourselves talk?

Is this why God makes it so difficult to understand Him when we ask Him questions? Are we just not asking the right questions? Maybe we aren’t asking them in the right way; should we say, “Pretty please with sugar on top,”? It might have something to do with how faithful we are, or how many sacrifices we have made for Him. Maybe God is just jerking us around, sitting up in Heaven listening but not responding, just watching us getting more and more frustrated with the fact that we never hear anything from Him. Poking His angels in the ribs and pointing at us laughing at our irritation. We all know how annoying it is to have a conversation with someone and have them not respond in the way we want or worse yet not respond at all.

Why do you have to make life so freakin’ difficult?! Just do me a favor and answer my questions and prayers… verbally! Maybe I’m asking the wrong person, Jesus I’ll give you a try. Jesus, talk to your Pops and tell Him that I need some answers, I need to make sure He is listening and the only way that I can be sure is if He talks back! Jesus don’t let me down now, okay? Jesus… did you hear me… GREAT, NOW YOU WON’T TALK TO ME EITHER?! What is up with this family?!

I think the problem is that God does speak to us (in a very straightforward way) and we just don’t listen. So, what are some ways that God could speak to us and have us listen?

· Giant Cosmic Billboard
· Commercials during our favorite prime time TV show (not during the Bachelor though, Jesse doesn’t want anything else on his mind when that show is on).
· Facebook Messages
· Twitter updates
· Emails
· Phone calls (but not at dinner time, then God just turns into a telemarketer)
· Sky writing
· Sponsoring a NASCAR driver
· Having other people speak into our lives (no, that would never catch on)
· Using situations to reveal the path we’re supposed to choose...psshh! Yeah right. That's funny, probably never happens! Ah...good times, good times.

I would love to see a giant cosmic billboard with an answer to my prayers, or to see that I have a message when I log onto facebook with an answer to my prayers. I think Sundays would be 10X cooler if you turned on the TV, flipped to the NASCAR race and saw that one of the cars had the answer to your prayers painted across the hood. Hearing the announcer say, “And the 7 car takes the lead... look at the paint job on that car! What does it say across the hood? ‘Yes Jay, I want you to move to Ecuador to start a church, Love God xoxo.’”

So, why not?

I think God can verbally answer everyone’s prayers but how would we build trust, obedience or faith? I think having God come down and meet me on earth (preferably in the form of Morgan Freeman, I could listen to his voice continuously and never get tired of it. I have to admit that the casting director from Bruce Almighty got it spot on when they cast Morgan Freeman as G-O-D) would be an awesome experience but how would I develop any discernment or discipline? Plus I’m pretty sure if God did show up as Morgan Freeman he would somehow convince me to use my Visa Card at the Olympics.

But being a Christian I have to understand that isn’t how God works. If God took the easy route and answered every prayer by personally speaking (verbally) to us we would have no faith in Him and no wisdom in life.

What do you think? Should God be in a verbal conversation with us? Is there a better way to answer prayers than “feeling” that God said something?

Why Are Some People Ugly?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 13:30:00 +0000

Written by Jesse Medina

I have a confession. It is not something I am particularly proud of, but it is true. Are you ready? Here it is:

I am scared that my kids (once I have them) will turn out to be ugly.

Being ugly can really screw a kid up. Even if they are smart, witty, and incredibly talented, ugliness can debilitate a kid like nothing else can. But a good-looking kid, on the other hand, seemingly has it all…whether they’ve got anything else going for them or not. That’s why a ditzy blonde with a pretty face and rockin’ body can become insanely rich and famous. Or why guys like us could start a site like this.

And the worst part is that we can’t really control our own ugliness. Our best hopes are exercise, makeup, and cosmetic surgery. But there are limits to each. Exercise only improves how we look below the neck and while that is better than nothing, having an ugly face isn’t desirable. Of course many women, along with Adam Lambert, turn to makeup to make their faces look better, but makeup has limits. Unfortunately, some women don’t know that and think that more makeup is automatically better – and cross the line back into ugliness. And then there is cosmetic surgery which is perhaps the most effective method for reversing ugliness, but not only does it require you to have a lot of money, there’s something wrong with not having wrinkles as an old person.

So most of us eventually just have to come to terms with a hard truth: we will always be ugly.

And then we come to a second conclusion: God is a big jerk for making us that way.

Why would he do that?

We’ve had our ugly scientists – they study ugly, not that they are ugly (except one who will remain nameless. I will give you his initials, though…AJ Teaters) – analyzing data and tracking trends to come up with possible reasons God would create ugly people:

1. He has a sick sense of humor.

The ugly scientists think this a viable option only because it seems God had a sick sense of humor in other places in the Bible. Like when Elisha sicked bears on some kids for calling him bald (II Kings 2:23-24) or when Samson used a donkey’s jawbone to Leonidas his way to killing a thousand men and then quipped about using an ass's jawbone to make asses out of them.

Sick…but hilarious. Maybe, they postulate, that’s how it is with ugliness. Sometimes God just needs a good laugh.

2. Without ugly, there is no beauty

This is the age-old “the shadow proves the sunshine” theory. In order for us to acknowledge something as being light, we must also be acquainted with darkness. So perhaps in order of us to know beauty, we must know ugly. In that sense, the ugly people of the world are doing humanity a favor by helping us to know beauty. After all, a world without beauty isn’t much of a world at all.

3. He didn’t

At first glance, this doesn’t even seem like a possibility. All some of us need to do is look in the mirror to know that God created ugly. But our scientists speculate that “ugly” is a social/human construction that God doesn’t acknowledge. It makes sense: many years ago those women who were considered beautiful we what we might call today “big-boned.” They had appetites and could swing an axe (I’m speculating on the axe part, but you get my point). These days, women aren’t considered beautiful unless they weigh under 110 lbs. have enormous breasts and, in many parts of the world, would be considered malnourished by the look of their physiques.

Beauty, it seems, is fickle. Not to mention fleeting. None of us, no matter how beautiful, look good for an extended period of time. We all get old and we all get wrinkles.

And that makes me wonder: what if what we look like doesn’t even matter? What if what matters is the kind of people we are? What if in the next life, it is those who were ugly in this life that are the ones who receive the highest honor and are perceived as the most beautiful? What if it is our scars, wrinkles, and deformities that are considered beautiful in the next life?

For many of us that sounds fantastic...whether we are beautiful right now or not.

So maybe we should live this life in light of that one and that includes how we look at ourselves, others, and even our kids.

Which theory do you think it is? Or do you think there is another reason why some are ugly?