The big day came when we were to be at football camp… when something derailed us and we ended up getting there late. This screwed up all my plans, I was going to get him there before practice and let him play on the field… get him suited up and get him really pumped about the pig skin. But no. We were late and all the kids were in the center of the field and we haven’t even had a chance to put on his gear. It wasn’t long before my son started watching all these kids doing push ups and jumping jacks that he started to cry. Did I mention it was a football camp where all the kids from all grades were there warming up? Well it was, and that didn’t help things at all, he was not thrilled to say the least.

When the kids lined up from youngest to oldest the 5 year-olds or the pee-wees were right in front of us as we watched. This didn’t help me because I looked at those scrawny kids and thought my son would kick butt in this league. He was at least 2 inches taller than all of them and they were fully suited. I had a classic case of “my kid is bigger than yours” even though mine could not stop crying.

We left shortly after that because of all the crying and I think I was more disappointed than the boy was and that made me feel bad. I thought he was going to know that I was really disappointed, but I was…. It was one of the worst days of parenthood so far. I guess there is always next year.

What you should do about taking your kid to pee wee football is… don’t take him till he can mow the lawn.

So… last month something happened and I was unable to make it to Whole Foods for this event. I almost missed it this month but a dear friend just happened to remind me. Yes, I know, what a great friend!

In light of the occassion, I arranged a whole slew of people to come out and hang at Whole Foods in honor of this event… well, not really, it was really for the gelato. Anyway, I arrived early with WTDA Terry and WTDA Nate…

To my great dismay the bakery did not bake the special cookies on Dime Cookie Day! They forgot! My first thought was Dime Cookie Day is a sham! A sham I tell you… they promise little golden rays of sunshine and when you get in the door they lick your cookie, throw it on the floor and stomp on it. Farewell golden rays of sunshine.

How could you forget to bake cookies for Dime Cookie Day? The bastards. I, however was not upset or outraged… I remained calm, cool, and rationale. I walked up to a cashier and graciously inquired about the event for which I had waited a whole month for. She graciously allowed me to get any of their regular cookies at the ten cent price. Now that is good service! Heeellooo. You won me back as a customer with your excellent customer service. Whole Foods will now stay in business.

As I mentioned Dime Cookie Day is at Whole Foods Market in Green Hills, TN on the first Tuesday of every month. Next month I expect to see you there, but now that I have said this they will probably discontinue this event.

Just out of curiousity, are you a dipper? You know… a dunker. Do you dunk your cookies in milk or eat them separately?

Today’s best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “i did stuff, but now i’m done doing stuff, so i’m gonna not do stuff…until i have more stuff to do.” - (that’s some good stuff right there.)
2.) “”is enjoying a day off in Athens, Greece and is looking forward to playing in Skopje City Stadium, Skopje, in the Republic of Macedonia on 7/10/09.” - (It must be nice to be Carlos Santana.)
3.) “smacking cookies and making them my b****. What? They are only a dime at wholio foods.”
4.) “the cukes are brewing in the brine… hey you, you are kinda cuke” - (From the pickle maker himself.)
5.) “The cult-like status of MJs death is unreal. If someone transported in from ancient Israel they would have swore he was a god like Pharaoh.” - (Well said.)
6.) “spitting some seeds before dinner.” - (One of the reasons why I never buy seedless watermelons.)
7.) “wishes he had an ‘84 Sheep Dog.” - (It’s a shaggin’ waggon.)
8.) “Wine is good and Billie Jean is not my lover…lol!!!” - (True and not my lover either.)
9.) “Why do you spend more money on records and concerts than you give to organizations that feed the poor?”
10.) “AT 5 MINUTES AND 6 SECONDS AFTER 4 A.M. ON THE 8TH OF JULY, THIS YEAR, THE TIME AND DATE WILL BE: 04:05:06 07-08-09 THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN UNTIL THE YEAR 3009″

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You will first want to find the mf that suits your musical preference, whether it be blues, country, jazz, singer song writer, new age or the only true festival (in my opinion) is a good old American rock and roll festival. No matter where you go, you will most likely be camping; this can be avoided if you don’t want the full experience. You will want to find a hotel close, and soon, because most festivals sell out hotels very soon. If you are ready for sleepless nights under the stars while you hear different renditions of “Kumbaya my Lord”, or at the rock festivals “the summer of ‘69”.

Although I do like a good mf, I would rather stay off the grounds, my sleep means too much to me. Not to mention it is easier to stay 14 hours when you have had a good night’s sleep. Another thing to consider is nutrition; you will want to eat as often as you would eat at home if not a little more. Doing this will ensure you don’t get sick or get weak as you will be on your feet all day. This may be difficult if you don’t have access to this food. Some festivals have stores inside them but beware they are not a price mart or a costco. Their prices will make you wish you weren’t hungry at all. So stock up before you go and make sure you have plenty of ice. Which leads me to my next subject.

Water is as important as toilet paper when it comes to mf’s. You will need to drink 8 ounces an hour or more depending on how much you perspire. Which means maybe you want to rethink dancing, or for those of us at the rock mf, moshing… knee slapping if you are at a blue grass festival, maybe shouting yee-haw if you are at a country festival. Anyway you slice it you need to be hydrated this will help you not get dehydrated and keep you cool also.

Now when at an mf don’t expect a shower and especially don’t expect a clean toilet. Those are two things that you will need to grin and bear. The port-o-johns are crappy, pun intended… but have no fear, you will be comforted by the cold shower to get those germs off of you. I like a cold shower it makes me feel alive, I don’t need to be boiled when I shower… even though sometimes I like a hot one, cold is more often what you will find at a mf.

When attending a music festival you will want to remember to bring some baby wipes for a quick wipe down in the port-o-john or at the campsite as the day goes on. I will say nothing feels quite as good as a cold wet wipe in a hot port-o-john. It’s like wiping with an ice cube, I do it sometimes at home just for fun.

Last thing is, remember to pace your self in this matrix of music. Keeping yourself in tip top shape for your favorite musical act will make it all worthwhile. On the other hand if you cannot take a sweaty toilet seat or eating out of a can or maybe walking in mud from the recycled shower water that they spray on the dirt to keep dust down… then you may want to reconsider your vacation destination. Otherwise have a great time and fellas remember to lay off the hot wings when you have to share a toilet with 30 thousand of your closest friends. Ladies remember no matter how hot it is if you are over 160 pounds please no belly shirt or spandex. It’s hot enough out there, don’t make us sweat any more than we need to wondering when something unsightly is going to fall out.

That being said, have a great summer and if you are in the pit with me beware I like to get my groove on, or something like that.

In my days here in Nashville I haven’t had a lot of time to ride but that has changed in the last month due to the incredibly slow economic situation. Riding is like running but with the option to coast, not to mention you can drink water while you ride which is really hard to do while running. The exercise that you get on a bike is second to none, it is great for the joints and really gets the old heart a-beatin.

There is one down fall to riding my bike, there is not a lot of places to ride. When I ride to the gym I have to take some pretty busy main roads. Nashville is pretty good about having bike lanes in the street, which I appreciate, thanks Nashville! No matter how you ride you end up riding for your life when you are up against some of these crazy drivers.

When I first started riding my bike around town I rode through stop lights, on the opposite side of the road, and pretty much did whatever I wanted. This nearly got me killed so I switched to following the rules of the road… you know, like cars do. Doing this has made things a little better, I still nearly die every time I take out my bike.

Just the other day I was riding down a neighborhood street about 5 minutes from home and a truck took up the entire street to back up. No problem right? Surely, he will look both ways for kids, dogs or full grown men on bikes… wrong! He didn’t even look once and I was going about 30 MPH as I moved to the other side of the road riding now into traffic trying to slow down. This is when he decided to give the truck a little more gas and nearly knocked me right into a pile of brush. I turned around and glared at him, he just stuck his head out of the truck and yelled “sorry”. Sorry… really? You nearly killed me, I would have died in a pile of brush!

So I thought I was in the clear and I make it down the road about 2 miles. I am obeying the rules of the road as I am riding through a green light watching for turn signals. There was no turn signals so I start riding hard to get up the hill before traffic gets there when all of a sudden I look down and see this car (with no turn signal on) turning into my leg. I look at the driver like “really?… you are going to hit me”, she honked her horn at me like I was a punk kid running across the street. If my life wasn’t on the line I would have stopped right there and we would have, I would have… well let’s just say we would have had some words.

What to do about riding your bike is this, watch out for the crazies out there, avoid main streets and always wear full football pads everywhere you go. Because let’s face it, a helmet is not going to do much!

Today’s best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “there’s something about an Arby’s “Roastburger” that terrifies me.” - (There nothing about an Arby’s Roastburger that gives me peace.)
2.) “”You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~ Winnie the Pooh” - (Pooh brings people together.)
3.) “The bassist from The Chariot just told me that he’s the mascot for the Kansas City Chiefs. So good! Go to YouTube and search KC Wolf. Haha” - (Or just click here.)
4.) “Alaska has 33,000 miles of coastline. THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND.” - (What a random yet informative post.)
5.) ” listening to “The Moon Is Down” and feeling good. :)” - (Yes, such a great album, reading this status made me feel good.)
6.) “So 2009 is 50% completed…hope the back half will be as good as the first half has been.” - (That’s what I usually say when eating an organic uncured beef hotdog.)
7.) “Still sick but that steroid pill really seems to beat the crap out of the bronchitis. Might almost feel better tomorrow.”
8.) “is celebrating 2 years of marriage today! I love you, Alex, and I have loved the last 731 days as your wife!” - (So either one year was a leap year or the first day wasn’t good.)
9.) “Just had a fire drill at work and they gave us POPSICLES!” - (If they were from Las Paletas I would wanna have a fire drill every day!)
10.) “nothing is on my mind” - (but what are you thinking?)

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My son loves getting the mail now because his grandma insists on spoiling him through snail mail, but it reminds me of my youth. Getting the mail has taken a new road in my mind, one filled with dirty business marketing and deutsch (yes deutsch) bag chain letters.

Just last week my wife got the mail and as I walked in the door she handed me something I have seen way too many times, a flyer for something free from a car lot. These flyers would come to us all the time as a kid and I can remember my dad always being taken by them. We would all load up into the ford escort and drive to the local car lot and once there you would see these fat middle aged men in ties everywhere asking you all kinds of questions. We would then go on a test drive and us kids would get all excited about getting a new car when my dad would say “thanks anyways” and walk out.

Little did I know this is when they actually gave away free stuff like: DVD players (VCRs back then), jewelry (crappy sparklies), and gift certificates to pizza hut. Ah, this was the reason we just spent $15 on gas and about 2.5 hours at the stupid car lot, for a free one topping pizza! My dad was a sucker for free stuff, at least I learned about snake-like car salesman, thanks dad.

So yeah, she got the mail and there was a car lot flyer in it and there were promises of free stuff, which instantly reminded me of the old days with dad and the free pizza. Here on this lot you could win a car, a dream vacation, and at the very least a gift card to walmart. And there it was… the only thing you need to say to a mother of two… walmart. I don’t know what happened but there was this shift in her eyes, like she just won the mommies lottery. Diapers would fall from the sky and the kiddie pool would be filled with organic applesauce, pure euphoria. That’s when she said it “you know you have to go down there for me” to which I replied “nope”, but there was something about the way she said “I will KILL you in your sleep!” that quickly changed my mind.

After putting it off most of the weekend my wife texted me after work yesterday to tell me that “you still have that flyer?” followed by ” You should go, if you want… it’s up to you”. I smell a trap! What that means to all you single fellahs out there that think that marriage is a naked trip through paradise… where your wife cooks for you anytime you want and you never have to leave the couch… that meant you better go or I am going to cry. So I went all the way down there and I must admit that I was starting to feel a little hopeful, thinking of buying a case of beer if we got a gift card and that would be nice since it was 95 degrees outside and my ac was not working.

I pull into the parking lot and before I shut off the car there was a little latino dude standing right behind my car, vultures! I felt like dead meat on the side of the road! He quickly introduced himself and asked me what I was looking to drive away in, I replied “a walmart gift card” he then took the flyer away from me and said “oh, this is just a marketing flyer that we use to get people to come to the store”. Before he could say “come inside” I had already started to walk back to the car. He was saying “sir, sir please wait” I turned and said “thanks and you can keep the flyer”. I haven’t been that mad since the Steelers won the super bowl, not cool man, not cool.

There are two lessons to learn here 1) throw away spam mail even if it is in your mail box 2) remember leverage is what brings a marriage together…. well, not really, but anyway. Soon as I got home I told her that I was mad and that I get to write about this, and she said “fine”. Stupid, shady car salesman!

My kids are crazy too, they are always screaming and crying at night like the house is going to burn down. I thought this would go away after a couple of years but to no avail. My 1 year old is still learning that we sleep at night and not play, he is young and gets a free pass. But the 5 year old
is going to end up sleeping outside with the fishes, seriously.

Getting me out of bed is a chore, but when you get a kick to the kidney from the wife, you get up real quick. it’s like being kicked by a mule with heels on. Once I go upstairs the boy freezes and lays back down before I can say anything. That is unless he is having a bad dream and then I have to shake him to wake him up and then he doesn’t know what happened. The whole things is driving me nuts, he only cries because he know his mom will come up stairs and hold him. I will not do that, you see night time is for sleeping… not yelling.

I am exploring my options for this problem, it is unique and it needs a different type of answer. I am thinking about putting a bed in the basement with a tennis ball on a chain to stick in the boys mouth. No? Was that wrong? Should I not have said that?

I have another idea! We can make him sleep in the closet, that way we can’t hear him scream, but I guess that does not solve the problem now does it?

What if I got him one of the barking dog collars that gives you a slight shock after you make a sound? That would work, don’t you think? Yes, I know it would be inhumane, but so is waking the whole house because you have to pee.

If you think of a way to take care of this problem then I am all ears, but you better hurry before I lose the rest of my hearing from these screaming kids. I could have sworn they were boys…

For twenty years Jeremy was a meteorologist with channel 5 news in Oklahoma City. He was a regular on the storm chasing team and documented several major tornadoes including two F5’s. He then worked for five years at NASA continuing to study weather and help to ensure safety in satellite and shuttle launches. Now, luckily for us, he has decided to settle down in Nashville, TN.

Now, you know us here at What To Do About like the weather. If you have ever read the WTDA Weekly then this is not news to you. The weather is always changing and is always good to talk about because it is always new. So what is the point of this article? Well, being that we like to know the forecast for the day, Jeremy has offered to provide us and our readers a daily forecast so that we can best know how to prepare for the day.

We will let you know the daily forecast as only we at WhatToDoAbout.com can. Most likely it will be via Twitter, so if you don’t follow WhatToDoAbout on twitter then you can do so here. The updates will also be posted on the website.

Now for a word from our main meteorologist:
“Hello What To Do About readers, it’s good to be with you. Between the guys at What To Do About and my wife constantly nagging, I figured I had better give the fans what they want and give me some peace and quiet.

As you already know, I have had quite the career but I have enjoyed it mainly because it keeps me out of the house. If it is not too much trouble, indulge this old man by reading my weather updates on What To Do About.com. Kind wishes, best regards to you… don’t let the door hit you on your college attending, ipod toting, twitter updating, emo pants wearing keister.” - Jeremy

“The weather is on tap and I am thirsty and it’s free!”

“The breeze was blowing, the sun was shining, and fair maidens were singing in the distance.”

“it’s raining cats and dogs right now. Well, not really… it’s raining water. Stupid cats and dogs.”

Today’s best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “Lotion stand guy at the mall tried to talk to me, said it wasn’t about lotion. I asked what is it about. He said “ummm, something else?”"
2.) “It is better to destroy than to create something meaningless” - (WhatToDoAbout.com brings meaning to nothing.)
3.) “can’t believe I am home before 11. Time for Yuengling and e-mails on the balcony.” - (I never see emails on my balcony, guess I just need to keep my eyes open.)
4.) “is getting things done; knocking tasks off the to do list right and left. mostly left.” - (I knock mine off in the middle sometimes.)
5.) “Whole Foods, you complete me!”
6.) “My power just went out and I can’t find my pants.” - (As long as your pants don’t go out and you can’t find your power.)
7.) “Double ugh with a side of ugh.” - (UghUgh, ugh)
8.) “Enjoyed a great morning walk with my husband.” - (I’ll give you 3 guesses who the husband is.)
9.) “one minute you’re chompin on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat.”
10.) “I run in the pack of awesome…” - (Yeah, you keep bumpin’ into me gosh darn it!)

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