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The World Doesn’t End Beyond Your Peripheral Vision « Thought Catalog

2012-02-03T15:19:00.001+08:00

The World Doesn’t End Beyond Your Peripheral Vision

Feb. 2, 2012

By Emma Dries

Emma Dries hails from NYC, jaywalks in her spare time, and mourns the oxford comma.

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You have always found yourself fascinated by home videos of you as a child, the carefree curiosity you seemed to so easily carry as a chubby, dimpled toddler who did not think of Milestones or of Matter but simply of Moments upon Moments. You want to write and you want to create but you find yourself dejected, fearful that you will never be able to recapture the imagination you had as a five year old.

There is a psychological theory that says that time appears to move faster as we age because life is all about ratios. One year to a four year old may make up a quarter of her life, but a year to a middle-aged mother is but a 40th of the life she’s lived overall. Moments become more and more fleeting. You can’t stop time from lurching forward and you grow older and realize that your mind is just as foreign to you as anything else, but maybe that strangeness is something to embrace.

We talk about the wisdom of age and maybe no one wants to watch the lines etch into their own skin but sometimes we wish we could skip ahead and understand what it all meant without needing to deal with the frustrations of the clichéd ‘journey.’

With just shy of two decades under your belt, you somehow are already weary. You find yourself so easily frustrated by experience, by your naiveté, understanding that you will never truly understand until years later, and now you must simply hold tight and ride out the pleasure and pain because it is all about making important mistakes and it is also about Experience with a capital “E.”

The future is distorted by expectation, the past by the fallacies of our own memories, and the present simply by our simple struggle not to trip, to stay standing. Big events are never how we expect them to be. We tack an arbitrary significance to moments and milestones, not understanding at the time how they may or may not stay with us, shape us.

Like how your father dies and the mourning doesn’t feel so bad until months later, when you understand that the initial weeks were infused by a kind of anesthesia to cover the shock.

Or how when you lose the loft you grew up in, your childhood home you think you will think about it and miss it more than you do. You think the same thing about Berkeley when you leave, that changing schools may be the Right Thing, but that it will also be hard. It isn’t hard. You find yourself sliding in and out of places much more easily than those around you.

Or how you were always an anxious child but never expected it to build up and hit you as hard as it did that summer; how you never could fathom being someone entirely unable to pull yourself from bed in the morning, an existential depression pressing down on you from all sides. How you never believed that 5 mg daily of a serotonin reuptake inhibitor could pull you out of it, alive and stronger.

Or in the way your virginity seems inconvenient and identifying until you stand, without it, under the florescent lights of a dorm room bathroom in an over-sized t-shirt, feeling utterly unchanged.

Or how you have your heart broken for the first time and it is just as destabilizing and humiliating and cliché as you always expected it to be. But how you find yourself somewhat relieved though, if only slightly, to know you can feel and hurt in a way you didn’t know you could. That people don’t seem to be as ephemeral to you as places.

All these things happen to you the year you are eighteen and it isn’t until 2012 rolls in, until you still find yourself writing “11″ at the ends of your dates still, that the only steady thing you know is your own heartbeat. You lose your baby teeth, your father, your childhood home and your innocence; you gain inches. You gain humility and you gain perspective. The world does not end beyond your peripheral vision, the way it did so simply when you were a child. Life doesn’t march in time to a metronome, and maybe sometimes the milestones come at you all at once. Growing up is hardly a linear function.

via thoughtcatalog.com

Beautiful!

Re1:

2012-02-02T04:15:00.001+08:00

Gentlemen:
http://www.perukits.com/httpworkathome19385.php?akofriend=38

Wed, 1 Feb 2012 21:15:39

My 2011

2011-12-26T09:17:00.002+08:00

It's clearly bedtime but I couldn't sleep. It's almost the end of the year too and I can't help go over what happened and did not happen to me this year.

By rule of Bad news first (hoping, I can think of good news/thoughts later), Here we go:

1. I thought I would be able to forget that day with the a fucking globe tattoo It was a sad day in 2010 when I was at a receiving end of a trash talk. I gave myself time to mourn my trampled dignity, lick and heal my wounds. But time did not do anything to lessen my hatred. I only need to go glimpse back to that day when I spent 1.5 hrs on the phone getting called incompetent, useless subordinate to tell myself that no, forget and forgive are scores away from today.

2. Nothing great at work happened Used and abused. That's what I felt for most of the year. The work just kept on piling up. No recognition, everyday is just another day to check if it's another globe tattoo day. It is stressful. There is no joy in going to work. It is pathetic.

3. New assignment

I thought I'd learn new things, enjoy new experience, I was disappointed. It was just another avenue to be slaved. Plus, it came down to added responsibility and less pay.

4. I am slowly learning to deal with my father The day I left for Luzon was a sad and happy day. I wanted to hug tatay and say goodbye. But all I was able to do was to take his hand and bring it to my forehead for a goodbye. He had tears in his eyes.

5. My sister tricked me again

No matter how I tell myself she is just a sweet talker, I cannot help dip into my savings everytime she needs money. I already gave her family a good cut of my sep pay from NEH which her husband lost to gambling. Added a half-month's payout that feels like that too was recorded in water. It passed and never to be back the same route again. Or.. We don't know..

Love the celebration #LFC

2011-11-21T10:38:00.001+08:00

My name is Bob, I'm a twitter addict..

2011-11-09T15:31:00.001+08:00

#aaawwwquote #tw

2011-11-09T08:40:00.002+08:00

When life gives you lemons....#tw

2011-10-24T14:43:00.002+08:00

via 1.bp.blogspot.com

#AllBlacks #tw

2011-10-24T13:06:00.001+08:00

via images.smh.com.au

and the Utd - City jokes just keep coming. Good morning everyone! #tw

2011-10-24T08:28:00.001+08:00

via diigo.com

Nico - You are a young Kimi! #tw

2011-10-21T14:17:00.001+08:00

via motorsport-total.com

How to call using your Ipod Touch. Hilarious! #tw

2011-10-21T11:01:00.001+08:00

via s3.amazonaws.com

Happy Birthday, Kimi!! #tw

2011-10-17T15:48:00.002+08:00

via diigo.com

Happy Birthday, Kimi!!
I love you!

RIP Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T17:36:00.005+08:00

There is no reason not to follow your heart. Stay hungry. Stay foolish. - Steve Jobs

LBC - Hari ng Hassle

2011-09-30T08:49:00.000+08:00

LBC,

This is to file a complaint for your ineffective services and inefficient team.

I sent a small package yesterday, 29 Sept 2011 from LBC Tarlac to National Highway, Purok Ilang-Ilang, Brgy. Saravia, Koronadal City. I was informed by a certain Anthony Mandap that the delivery address is out of delivery zone.

I called LBC Koronadal today, 30 Sept 2011 and clarified if my address is out-of-delivery zone as I have noticed that LBC does deliver to our address. I was informed that there are only parts of Brgy. Saravia that they do not deliver to and they deliver to our address. I have requested if they can have the package delivered instead of the pick-up from branch transaction that LBC Tarlac indicated. I was informed that they cannot change the transaction type.

I called your service number 02-8585 999 and was able to talk to two of your "customer service" representatives. I have already explained the scenario but without any regard for the "voice of the customer" they kept on insisting that my address is out-of-delivery zone. I insisted once again that I have called LBC Koronadal myself and they deliver to my address but they just kept on insisting back that the address is out of delivery zone.

I am only but asking for the items I have sent to be DELIVERED instead of picked up from your branch which I believe I have the right to request because I paid the same premium charges for your DELIVERY services.

I do not know how often you update your delivery zoning system that your representatives view but AT LEAST give your customers the courtesy of verifying the information they are providing you.

Duplicate Excel file and view in multiple monitors

2011-09-24T11:53:00.000+08:00

I am a huge fan of extended desktop and I am bugged that I cannot use it when I have to present excel worksheets and have to make changes to the worksheet during the presentation.

It is quite difficult to change cells and information on the worksheet when your extended monitor is a full blown LCD screen. I have to cringe my neck when all along my main screen is right in front of me!

Viewing two excel files side by side using multiple monitors is quite easy.

- Open 2 instance of excel

- Drag the other excel to the extended monitor

- Open the files in different excel sheets

BUT, how do you view the same excel file in multiple windows? make changes on one file that is copied on your other file REAL TIME? (This is pretty awesome during discussions!) Well, this is what I did.

For Excel 2007:

- Open Excel

- Open your file

- Click VIEW > NEW WINDOW (this will duplicate the current file you are viewing)

- Restore Down your excel window

- Drag the window size and extend it up to your extended monitor

- Drag the "new window" to the extended monitor

VIOLA! You can now view the same excel file in 2 monitors and whatever changes you make to the whatever file will be copied to the other file.

Hope I was able to help!

Sta. Maria/Laoag, Sept 2011

2011-09-23T14:09:00.002+08:00

Click picture to go to gallery..

Laoag, Sept 2011

Kimi Raikkonen's team excluded from World Rally Championship standings - #WRC news

2011-09-10T15:19:00.001+08:00

Kimi Raikkonen's Ice 1 Racing team has been excluded from the classification of the World Rally Championship for not contesting this week's Rally Australia.

The former Formula 1 world champion elected not to travel to Coffs Harbour for the 10th round of the WRC and, once the event got underway last night, the stewards of the meeting made their decision - which will cost Raikkonen €16,200 (£14,000).

The officials' statement said: "Having considered the provisions of the 2011 FIA World Rally Championship Sporting Regulations and specifically article 7.3.8, the stewards decide to require the team Ice 1 Racing to pay the entry fee to the organisers of the 2011 Rally Australia, to pay the FIA a fine equal to the amount of the registration fee being €16,000 to exclude Ice1 Racing from the classification of the championship."

Raikkonen's Ice1 Racing team is classified as a WRC Team and, as such, is bound to compete in the rallies nominated at the start of the season. Raikkonen had to nominate seven events, two of which had to be outside of Europe. He competed in Jordan earlier this year, but failing to make the start in Australia contravened the regulations.

The Finn had already contested six WRC rounds this season and was holding eighth place with 34 points. Raikkonen will be permitted to enter any of the remaining three rallies he wants to, but Ice 1 will not be included in the end of season classification.

In Raikkonen's absence, the stewards' decision was accepted by team manager Benoit Nogier.

via autosport.com

Hongkong

2011-09-06T11:04:00.003+08:00

Click the photo to go to Hongkong gallery

Hongkong

Baler

2011-09-06T10:58:00.002+08:00

Click photo to go to Baler gallery

Baler, Aug 2011

Raikkonen tests 908 #tw

2011-08-26T15:19:00.001+08:00

2007 F1 World Champion Kimi Raikkonen on Wednesday paid the Peugeot racing team a visit and snagged a drive in their Peugeot 908.

This was the first time the Finn had driven the car - and the first time he had ventured out on the Aragon circuit in Spain.

Peugeot Sport team manager Pascal Dimitri said: "Kimi arrived yesterday evening in order to meet up with the team, prepare his seat and set up his driving position. He adapted very quickly to the car and gave us a valuable technical feedback. It is always interesting to get inputs from drivers such as Kimi."
Towards the end of the morning, the Finn took part into the session alongside Franck Montagny, Stéphane Sarrazin, Simon Pagenaud and Alexander Wurz. He covered a series of 35 laps on a circuit he's never driven on.
Raikkonen was typically low-key about the experience saying: "I enjoyed this test with Peugeot. The 908 is a really fun car to drive."

Peugeot Sport director Olivier Quesnel said: "Originally, this test session was planned for a long time in order to prepare the rest of the season on top of which we have allowed Kimi to discover the 908 ..."

via motoring.iafrica.com

A must-read for every Rafael Nadal Fan #tennis

2011-08-26T15:18:00.001+08:00

By Kamakshi Tandon
Special to ESPN.com
Archive

Just like many other sporting memoirs, Rafael Nadal's newly released autobiography contains a mix of the new and the familiar. Although not exactly exhaustive, the book offers his thoughts on some of his biggest matches, reinforces his focus on family and friends, and recounts some memorable anecdotes. Here are 20 things we learned:
What we knew: He has a younger sister, Maribel.
What we learned: The two are very close. Nadal calls or texts 10 times a day.

[+] Enlarge
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty ImagesRafael Nadal has just one game plan versus Roger Federer -- and it works like a charm.
What we knew: He likes chocolate cookies.
What we learned: He doesn't like cheese, tomatoes or ham. "Cheese? It's a bit peculiar," says his mother, Ana Maria.
What we knew: He'll always give you an autograph.
What we learned: Even if you don't say please. But it means you won't get a smile.
What we knew: He can strike fear into his opponents.
What we learned: He is afraid of thunderstorms, deep water and dogs, is nervous about riding a bike, and prefers to sleep with the light on. "A bit of a scaredy cat," according to his sister.
What we knew: After winning Wimbledon in 2008, he bought himself an Aston Martin.
What we learned: Nadal wanted to get the car after seeing it during the French Open, but his father, Sebastian, was against it. "You win Wimbledon, then you can buy it," he said. "He never thought he'd lose that bet," Nadal writes.
What we knew: Nadal's game plan against Roger Federer is to hit the ball to his backhand.
What we learned: Nadal's game plan against Federer is to hit every ball to his backhand. "That's the plan. It's not a complicated plan," he writes.
What we knew: There are exceptions to every rule, like 8-7 in the fifth set of the 2008 Wimbledon final, when Nadal served a winner to Federer's forehand to set up match point.
What we learned: It was inspiration. Writes Nadal: "Here I had the brilliant idea -- it was, in retrospect, quite brilliant -- of hitting my first serve wide to his forehand, when he had to be expecting that at a clutch moment like this I'd stick to the backhand route I'd followed practically the entire match."
What we knew: At the moment, Nadal doesn't seem to have a game plan against Novak Djokovic.
What we learned: He doesn't have one. "With Federer, the rule is always to keep patiently plugging away, knowing you'll force him sooner or later to mistakes. With Djokovic, there is no clear tactical plan. It is simply a question of playing at your very best, with maximum intensity and aggression," Nadal writes. "But there is one thing. If you make him receive the ball at shoulder height, you make him uncomfortable, you make him guess, put him off his stride."
What we knew: After defeating Djokovic in the U.S. Open final last year, Nadal implied his box had told him where to serve on match point, telling El Pais, "They told me to serve wide and that's where I served."
What we learned: Nadal repeats this suggestion, writing that he looked at his box for support and "served wide to the forehand as instructed," but doesn't elaborate.
What we knew: His prematch routines and jumping around come across as stalling and gamesmanship.
What we learned: Even his friends wonder what it is all about. "I don't think he would ever admit it, and I've never asked him about it, but I do believe he does deliberately intimidate rivals," says fellow Mallorcan and mentor Carlos Moya.
What we knew: Nadal surprised everyone by recovering from a five-hour marathon semifinal at the 2009 Australian Open to beat Federer in five sets in the final.
What we learned: He surprised himself, having been ready to lose 6-1, 6-2, 6-2. Despite feeling tired and dizzy while practicing on the day of the final, he gained energy from the adrenaline of the occasion and a pep talk from his coach before the match.
What we knew: His parents split up in early 2009. (They are now reportedly back together.)
What we learned: Nadal found out on the journey back after winning the Australian Open and lost all enthusiasm. On pulling out of Wimbledon that year, he writes, "My knees were the immediate reason, but I knew the root cause was my state of mind."
What we knew: His coach and uncle, Toni, stresses the importance of humility and always tells Nadal he can do better.
What we learned: Nadal believes his uncle's strictness "has its value, in that he pushes me always to improve and do better, it can also be bad because he creates insecurity."

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What we knew: Nadal is one of the strongest players mentally.
What we learned: He attributes a lot of this to Toni. "All that tension in every single coaching session, right from the start, has allowed me today to face up to the difficult moments in a match with more self-control than might otherwise have been the case. Toni did a lot to build that fighting character people say they see in me on court," Nadal writes.
What we knew: Nadal was very worried when he felt his left foot hurting during Wimbledon, thinking it was the return of the first serious injury he had as a pro.
What we learned: The problem is a congenital condition -- the tarsal scaphoid bone in his foot never hardened, becoming larger and susceptible to cracking under intense physical activity. It "turned out to be my own unique version of the Achilles' heel," Nadal writes. He received the diagnosis as a 19-year-old. Told that his career might be over, he sobbed. His father tried to comfort him, saying that a solution might be found and, if all else failed, Nadal could perhaps turn to professional golf.
What we knew: When he was young, his family turned down an offer to train at an elite Barcelona academy.
What we learned: They sent him to a sports boarding school an hour from home so he could finish his studies. He hated it.
What we knew: Nadal's father owns a glass-making business.
What we learned: Nadal's grandfather, a musician, helped produce the first performance of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in Mallorca at 19 years old.
What we knew: His girlfriend, Maria Francisca Perello, is a fellow Mallorcan and works full time, only occasionally showing up at tournaments.
What we learned: "He needs his space when he is competing, and just the idea of me hanging around waiting on his needs all day wears me out," she says. "If I followed him everywhere, I think there's a risk we might stop getting along."
What we knew: He likes watching soccer.
What we learned: If it's a match involving Real Madrid, he'll get up at 5 in the morning to do it, even if he has a match that day.
What we knew: He plays golf.
What we learned: Even more determinedly than tennis. "I am decidedly unfriendly during a golf game, from the first hole to the last," he says.

via espn.go.com

Photo: Rafa looks old in this Bacardi Limited campaign :( #tennis

2011-08-25T15:01:00.001+08:00

via huffingtonpost.com

Raikkonen tests Peugeot Le Mans car | Reuters #tw

2011-08-25T14:59:00.001+08:00

Kimi Raikkonen of Finland waits near his car before the NASCAR Nationwide Series Top Gear 300 race in Concord, North Carolina May 28, 2011.

Credit: Reuters/Chris Keane

LONDON | Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:58pm EDT

LONDON
(Reuters) - Former Formula One world champion Kimi Raikkonen moved a step closer to racing at Le Mans next year with a test Wednesday of Peugeot's 908 sportscar at Spain's Aragon circuit.
Peugeot said the Finn, F1 champion in 2007 with Ferrari and now racing a Citroen in the world rally championship, had completed 35 laps.
He was joined at the circuit by regular Le Mans drivers Franck Montagny, Stephane Sarrazin, Simon Pagenaud and Alexander Wurz.
"Kimi arrived yesterday evening in order to meet up with the team, prepare his seat and set up his driving position. He adapted very quickly to the car and gave us a valuable technical feedback," said team manager Pascal Dimitri.
"It is always interesting to get inputs from drivers such as Kimi."
Raikkonen, 31, has also tested and competed in the U.S. based NASCAR series this year as he evaluates his options for the future.
"I enjoyed this test with Peugeot. The 908 is a really fun car to drive," he said.

via reuters.com

Decode this

2011-08-24T12:57:00.001+08:00

My Name is..

2011-08-24T12:54:00.002+08:00