Inspired by bookjunkie’s post about life when she was a young child in Singapore, I wrote about my experiences as a young child in the Northeast of the US.  In learning that I am an only child, Bookjunkie asked me to write about what it was like to grow up without brothers or sisters, inspiring this post.

Baby me, 5 months old

My mom was 21 when she got pregnant with me.  My grandfather was an active duty soldier in the US Army, stationed in Hawaii at the time.  She was not married to my dad (also a soldier), and he would have preferred that she have an abortion.  When she decided to keep me, my father requested a transfer and he effectively disappeared.  I have never met him.  Shortly before she was due, my great-grandmother was badly burned in a house fire, and my grandfather moved the family to the nearest army base to her–Fort Devens (now closed) in Massachusetts.  My mom (the eldest of their three children) was about 7 months pregnant with me when they arrived in Massachusetts.  I was born in Concord, MA on October 24, 1978.

My mom lived with my grandparents, her sister (who was 20 when I was born) and my uncle (who was 16 when I was born).  We would live with them for most of my childhood (although my uncle would move out when I was quite young, and I don’t really remember him living with us).  Until I was in school, I didn’t realize that my family was different from that of most other people.  If anything, I loved it because there was always a family member to take care of me.

Me with my mom—maybe 7 years old?

As an only child, I got a lot of focused attention.

People were always happy to read to me, for one, and I developed a love of books early on.  My mom tells a story that when I was very young (about 2 years old) , my uncle would come home from high school and do his homework.  I had a serious case of hero worship, so I demanded that my mom give me “homework” too.  As there were no other kids requiring attention, she used this as a chance to start teaching me how to read.  The result is that I do not have any conscious memories of learning to read.  When I started kindergarten or first grade (whenever we started to have library; I was the only child in my class aloud to take out chapter books because I was the only one who could read them).
Another super early memory of mine is that my grandmother would let me cook with her.  I remember being the same age my daughter is now, and standing on a chair so I could reach the kitchen counter.  My grandmother let me stir various batters, and would let me taste.  I also learned how to wipe dishes after she another family member washed them while standing or kneeling on that chair.
When I was a little older, my grandfather would read articles from the newspaper with me and then ask me about them.  He’d make me take a position, and then defend it…my earliest debates.
My aunt and uncle treated me more like a little sister than anything else, and they were the people I’d go to first for fun.

8th birthday

The flip side of all this focused attention  is that I wasn’t terribly skilled at communicating with kids my own age, although I loved talking to adults.  My vocabulary was prodigious beyond my years, and I was sometimes called a show-off because of my vocabulary.  It’s hard to say how much of this can be blamed upon my status as an only child, and how much of it was that I was pretty nerdy early on.  My lack of social skills did not improve significantly over time…and I can still be somewhat misanthropic.

In the early years of school, I think I was far more affected by my lack of a dad than I was by my lack of a sibling.  But eventually, as my friends got brothers and sisters, and I read books like “The All-of-a-kind-Family” which features a large Jewish family of 7 or 8 sisters and “10 Kids, no pets” I began to long for a brother or a sister.  I thought having a younger sibling to boss around and blame stuff on sounded pretty awesome.  I also liked the idea of an older, wiser sister who could teach me about girl stuff (like boys, particularly as I got older) or a brother who would tease me but protect me.  My friends who have siblings assure me that my fantasies about what it would be like to have a brother or sister bore a closer relationship to fiction than reality.

Then came the horrible, awful day that my wish was (sort of) granted.  My uncle, his wife, and their one year old daughter moved into our home when I was nine years old.  Suddenly my grandmother was cooing over my cousin instead of me.  She was making special treats for HER and not me.  I had to SHARE, and I’d never had to share my toys at home before.  I began to worry that maybe my family would like my cousin better than me.  I even thought about running away–not for REAL, but just enough that I could hide and see for myself how upset they’d be if left.  My cousin, as a toddler, had no respect for my stuff, and I hated every second she spent touching my things (that my mom made me share).

After that experience, once they moved out, I was pretty happy to have my family all to myself.

Age 12-a rough age for me

I began babysitting not long after that photo was taken (and as a mom, I think I look terribly young to have babysat on my own, but it was absolutely the norm back then), and sometimes I would pretend that my sitting charges were actually my siblings.  At times this made me really want a younger brother or sister…and at other times, I was thrilled to escape to my quiet child-free home, and private bedroom.

As I made my way through high school, I began to worry about my mom.  She had never married, and had only dated rarely.  As a child I had hated her dating–I saw her dates as interlopers and potential rivals for her affection.  Selfishly, I wanted her to myself.  As a teen, I began to think about the day I would leave home, and I worried about what she would do without me to focus on.

At one point, she was dating someone, and I remember that they at least talked about having a child.  I think they may have even tried, but there was no success (my mom was in her late 30′s at that point).  This was probably a good thing, as they did not work out as a couple.  I was about 16, and old enough that I was starting to think about whether or not I would ever want to be a mom…and I liked the idea of a practice baby that I could play with and such, but for whom I’d bear no actual responsibility.

At 18 with my first car

Life as an only child had major benefits and drawbacks.

As an only child, there is a lot of pressure.  You are the ONLY child.  There’s no one else to share the stage.  If you don’t have kids, there are NO grandkids for your parents.  If you don’t go to college, no one went to college.  Some of this pressure comes from your family, who want what’s best for you (as they do any kid) but a lot of it is internal.  Most only kids I know (including both myself and my husband) are very driven individuals.

On the flip side, all that adult attention gave me a solid foundation in academics.  I was the first person in my family to go to college and get a degree.  It’s hard to say if my mom would’ve had enough time to kick my butt when I began to get lazy or thought about quitting if there had been other kids to worry about.  There certainly would’ve been fewer care packages of homemade cookies.  There definitely would not have been any loans taken out to help pay for it.

College graduation, 2001 (age 22)

I credit my strong imagination to life as an only child.  Had I actually had another kid in the house to play with, I would not have felt the need to create my own worlds (or perhaps I would have…it is truly hard to figure out which is the chicken and which the egg), and perhaps I wouldn’t be a writer today.

I also learned from a young age how to be independent and to do things on my own.  I’ve never understood why some people aren’t comfortable going to a movie alone, or eating alone.  I’ve been doing both for so long that it seems normal to me.  I have no trouble filling a day on my own (and with two young kids, that is perhaps my fantasy day–a day all to myself).  I am extremely comfortable with my own company…at times far moreso than I am with other people.

I get really upset when I hear people criticizing a family’s choice to only have one child.  I wasn’t deprived as an only child.  In my case, being an only child is the source of my success-I would not have been able to afford my college education if there had been other kids.  While it would have been cool to have siblings, I would not have turned out the same.  Being an only child is critical to my identity.

It is then awkward, then, for me to admit that Ravi and I have always wanted at least two children.  But I don’t see it as a critique of our parent’s choices, or a condemnation of only childhood.  Simply put, what is right for us is not what was right for our parents.

I’m glad I was an only child, because it shaped who I am today, and I like that person.

]]> http://www.whiteasmilk.com/2012/05/31/my-life-as-an-only-child/feed/ 0 http://www.whiteasmilk.com/2012/05/30/what-it-feels-like-to-not-be-a-mum/ http://www.whiteasmilk.com/2012/05/30/what-it-feels-like-to-not-be-a-mum/#comments Wed, 30 May 2012 01:00:29 +0000 Bookjunkie http://www.whiteasmilk.com/?p=1385 Been meaning to write about this for some time, but I’ve hesitated each time. I just don’t want to be a downer, but sometimes I’m compelled to talk about what’s on my mind. It’s hard to translate all my hopes and thoughts about this subject into a few paragraphs, but I’ll try.

You see, all my life, I imagined I would be a mum. I never really had any real career goals (apart from wanting to be a writer) or driving ambition to make a lot of money, but I always thought I would have at least four kids by the time I was thirty. I know, pretty crazy right?

I’ve had strong maternal instincts since I was a young girl. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that I’m an older sister. I loved when my sister was born and always tried to carry her, even though I was quite little myself. Loved combing her hair and choosing her dresses. There was no jealousy and I thought she was the cutest thing ever. And then I also happen to be the eldest amongst my cousins so I have always had this nurturing love for them. Still do, even though they may be adults. So growing up, I never felt lonely and very used to being surrounded by babies.

And because my parents were young (and I loved that), I always felt quite certain that I would be a young mum. I wanted to be a young mum so that my kids would have me around for as long as possible (just in terms of probability, although sadly, nothing in life is a certainty as I found out).

But now I’ve come to face that I will probably never be a mum. I’m not miserable, but there’s always that, what if, in my mind. Once you pass 35, hope diminishes, but there is still hope. But once you’re into your fourties, that hope wanes drastically.

Also I wouldn’t want to bring kids into the world for just my selfish needs. I want to be able to provide for them to my best ability, physically, emotionally and financially. Right now, I can’t, so I just have to come to terms with it and enjoy the benefits being child free offers even though it was not my choice. There are so many hobbies I can delve into and freedom I have in terms of time. But if it were not so expensive or taboo I would have frozen my oocytes a long time ago. It’s something to think about, and I’m sure in the future it will not be so rare an occurrence and give women more freedom and hope.

On the flip side, there are many couples who choose to be child free and I say good for them. No one should pressure them into having kids if it’s not their choice. I feel for them as I am sure they must get the most annoying pressure from relatives who assume that once they marry they will start producing like rabbits. I feel that having kids, how many, and at what age, is a personal choice and no one should interfere with that.

I do count my lucky stars when I see my friends with zero time to themselves and all the stress of being switched on in mum mode 24/7. As I suffer from chronic fatigue now I can’t even imagine how tiring their lives must be. Fulfilling for sure, but exhausting and sleep deprieved too. It really seems hard and makes me appreciate my own angel of a mum. I know for certain that I would never ever be a good of a mum as my own mum. I don’t think I could ever have unconditional love the way she has. She sacrifices so much for us. In my eyes, no one can match her. She’s my darling and I truly feel like a lucked out big time.

And I have the loveliest aunts. They are like little mums to me. I am able to confide in them and talk about whatever’s on my mind. They are really cool. So it’s not too shabby being an aunt myself. At least I still get to dote on my nieces big time and be there for them when they get older.

Yeah but I have to confess that there is always this yearning. I always can’t help but think that my children might be young adults now if I did have kids in my early twenties and always wonder what kind of relationship I would have with them and what kind of adults they would be. There are moments of emptiness and longing. I know that above all else I would want them to be kind and humble. To me that would be most satisfying. And that they be happy of course.

What are your hopes and dreams for your kids? And if you’re like me, did you have the same yearnings? I guess there is no coming to terms with, not having kids, if you always wanted them. Just like any kind of loss. You just learn how to live with what life dishes out and appreciate the other things you have.

All the rest of the design has been derived around the logo. Now, this is the period of development. If White as milk was a standard store, this would not be complicated but the subscription model requires specific development and what I have in mind in terms of flexibility given to clients to manage their subscription can sometimes be difficult to take place. Many questions are being raised and some choices will have to be made.

We are progressing in contacting suppliers and milk and most of them showed interest in being distributed on White As Milk. For the time being we contacted the most distributed brands in Singapore, such as Pampers, Huggies, Pampers, Drypers, Pet Pet, Mamy poko, Merries, Nepia for diapers and Friso, Nan, Enfagrow and all the derivatives (Enfa-lac, -pro, -kid, -scool), Isomil, Similac, Dumex, Holle (sorry there are so many brands for baby powder milk, the purpose of this post is not to list them all). Or maybe, I should because I would like to have your point of view about the diapers and milk that you use or used in the past. Thanks to all the contributors on white as milk: Bookjunkie, Crystal, Kless, Andy and Charles you are more and more to visit the blog. For the past two months, the blog has seen 4,400 visits and more than 12,000 pages have been viewed. It is not too bad for a blog which is not a store yet. Coming back to what I was saying about your use of diapers and milk, we would be interested to know if most of the brands I have listed are the ones that you use or if there are other brands that you would estimate that would be really great to be featured on White As Milk. In the mean time, you might also not been concerned by disposable diapers or baby milk as you might have chosen to take other paths such as breastfeeding or cloth diapers. We would be really interested in hearing your story as well.

Personally my wife and I thought to use cloth diapers as I have myself an hidden eco friendly side hidden in me. But for diapers, we finally chose the easiest way as we had our first baby where we were both working with no helper and no relatives to assist us. We thought that disposable diapers was a wise choice even if our eco-friendly awareness disapproved it. I am still admirative of the parents that have been braver than us… Are you one of them?

It’s heartwarming that my parents miss me so much, but the truth is, they just miss THE KIDS. I don’t really want to admit this, but my position as the ‘apple of the eye’ in my parents’ household has long been usurped by the two girls in my house. You should see how their eyes light up whenever they see their grand-daughters. Those eyes used to be reserved for me! Boohoooo!

But of course, I am not really that sad of course. I actually feel very happy that I am able to bring such joy to my parents.  And bringing them back to visit my parents as often as I can, is my way of being filial to them. I love to watch how much love goes on between my parents and my kids. And even though I know my parents are sometimes spoiling the kids, I let them do it, because I know how happy that makes them. =)

Their affection for each other is mutual. My kids absolutely adores their grandparents. During the week, they would ask about them, and ask me to bring them home to visit them. They love hanging out with their grandparents, and I half suspect it’s because they know they will indulge them. Kids nowadays are very smart.

Last weekend, we went for dinner at a new place. We love to explore new places to have family dinners together, just for the fun of it. So we went to try ‘SoulOut’, which is located at Pasir Ris Farmway.

We were there for a very early dinner, so the whole restaurant was empty except for us. It was nice to be able to dine in a very quiet and peaceful place, away from the bustle of the usual eateries during weekends. Unless you drive, this place is quite inaccessible.

We were there for a very early dinner, so the whole restaurant was empty except for us. It was nice to be able to dine in a very quiet and peaceful place, away from the bustle of the usual eateries during weekends. Unless you drive, this place is quite inaccessible.

Although this restaurant serves the usual ‘zi char’ Chinese food, the place looks more like a cafe or place to have beers and peanuts. With all the different football clubs’ flags hanging around, this should be a popular hangout place for soccer fans. I can imagine the fans cheering their favourite teams on during the football seasons here in this place.

For the kids, this place is fun because there’s a pond outside the restaurant, and the staff were very nice to give the kids some fish feed to feed the fishes. My kids absolutely love feeding fishes.

Dinner was served very quickly as we were the only customers there. The food turned out to be pretty good!

Sesame & Ginger Chicken

Stir-fried clams with chili

Hotplate Sambal Sotong

Onion Fried Eggs

Stir-fried Dou Miao with Mushrooms & Prawns

If you are looking for a place to have a quiet & nice dinner during the weekends, you can try Soulout! I like it that the place is quiet and peaceful, and I could have a good chat with my parents over dinner. The kids could also roam around the place and have fun watching & feeding the fishes. They are open till 5pm during the weekdays and till late during weekends. So dinner is only available during weekends. =)

We had a really fun time at Bali and the whole time we were there, we were just mesmerized by the beauty and serenity of the beaches. It almost felt like we were in paradise. The skies and seas were gloriously blue; the sand on the beach was pure white and there were lots of trees everywhere.

I remember even though it looked very sunny, the temperatures were at a cooling 28 degree celsius. It was very relaxing walking along the beach. The sand was so fine and pure that my girl couldn’t really scoop them up with her tiny hands. =)

We engaged a private driver and MPV and went on a one-day tour. We visited coffee plantation, batik factory, monkey forest and drove up a mountain to see the magnificent volcanoes. We had so much fun! =)

The vast green fields was so pleasing to the eyes

Free coffee sampling at Coffee Plantation

Very cold high up the mountains where we admired the beauty of the volcanoes and had our lunch. We were so cold, but so happy.

Saw this pretty hut selling really colorful batik. Everything was swaying with the strong wind, and I thought it was picture-perfect. So I snapped.

Then in the evening, we saw really beautiful sunsets while we had dinner on the beach. It was a most awesome end to our day.

You know what’s the most wonderful thing about overseas family vacations? It is about creating the most wonderful memories together, seeing the interesting things together and enjoying the moment together as a family. It is the very thing that bonds us together as one. On most days, we go through life doing the same things day in and day out. After a while, everything settles down into a boring routine. It is only when we takes ourselves out of the daily routine to go for a holiday and enjoy a few days together in each others’ company, that we refresh that love and appreciation for each other again. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside of me, knowing I can never take family bliss for granted. I am blessed because I have them.

Made me think about the fact that I am so grateful that my parents forced me to continue piano lessons even though I loathed the teacher’s methods. She used to scream like a banshee and slap our hands and such. Quite a tyrant, but it was because she was only twenty and hot tempered. She mellowed with age I am happy to report and even confessed that she was mean to me, impatient and could not control her temper then.

I am still so glad I know how to read notes. Reading musical notes is like being able to read a different language. I also learnt that being able to coordinate our left and right hand helps with brain function. Music theory is a lot like Math so it might help with that as well, although I must confess Math is not my favourite subject – far from it. I prefer words. Always have.

I also learnt that most children automatically acquire the grammar and sounds of any number of new languages if they are exposed to these languages before they turn three. So if you have a toddler it would be good to expose them to more than one language I believe. Unless you’re particularly talented adult language acquisition is really hard. I feel that way from personal experience. Even motivation is not enough, although immersion might work better.

What are your thoughts about all this? Would love to hear about your own and your child’s experiences.

photo by bookjunkie

photo by bookjunkie

I think all the people standing and gawking on the side were probably thinking the same thing.

photo by bookjunkie

Often, women who have preeclampsia do not feel sick.

Symptoms of preeclampsia can include:

• Swelling of the hands and face/eyes (edema)
• Sudden weight gain over 1-2 days, more than 2 pounds a week

Note: Some swelling of the feet and ankles is considered normal during pregnancy.

Symptoms of severe preeclampsia include:

• Headache that does not go away
• Belly pain on the right side, below the ribs. Pain may also be felt in the right shoulder, and can be confused with heartburn, gallbladder pain, a stomach virus, or the baby kicking
• Irritability
• Decreased urine output, not urinating very often
• Nausea and vomiting (worrisome sign)
• Vision changes, including temporary blindness, seeing flashing lights or spots, sensitivity to light, and blurry vision

source

The problems with the warning signs of pre-e, barring sudden swelling is that they’re all fairly vague and are symptomatic of a multitude of  regular complaints of pregnancy.  Symptoms alone do not result in a diagnosis.  /p>

To have a diagnosis of preeclampsia, the mother must present a blood pressure of 140/90 AND protein must be present in the urine.  If you’ve ever wondered why you have to get your blood pressure taken and pee on a test strip at your prenatal visits, it is to check for those concrete signs of pre-e…the high blood pressure and the protein in the urine.

Pre-eclampsia is problematic because while there are certain things that can increase your risk, there is no way to predict who will be diagnosed.  The only cure for preeclampsia is delivering the baby.

I have had preeclampsia twice.

Elanor, 2 days old

With Elanor’s pregnancy, I had no warning signs.  My biggest complaints were that I couldn’t keep anything down (a condition called hyperemsis gravida–translation; I threw up constantly throughout my pregnancy) and had to keep getting rehydrated via IV, and that the hyperemesis was making managing my insulin-dependent diabetes a sysphean task.  As a diabetic in the US, I was categorized as a “high risk” pregnancy, and that meant a lot of ante-natal testing.

I had some antenatal tests scheduled for my 30th birthday.  I felt fine, and was looking forward to seeing my baby on ultrasound, going home to get ready, and then going out to dinner with my husband and friends.  After 37 weeks and 4 days of perfect, even borderline low blood pressure, my blood pressure had shot up to above the pre-e threshhold of 140/90.  My tests were done, phone calls were made to my OB, and the next thing we knew, I was being shuttled to the labor and delivery floor.  Doctors came in and out of my room, blood tests were done, and eventually we sent out an email and texts cancelling my party (although we didn’t tell anyone why).

At one point, I was told by a doctor to “mentally saddle up” and that “you could be having this baby tonight.”  I was full term, so at the first sign of trouble, they were prepared to have me give birth.

Finally the last of the tests came back, and they showed that although my blood pressure was high, I was not yet developing preeclampsia.  I was let go around nine or ten at night.  My poor husband offered to take me anywhere.  I elected for us to go to an electronics store and pick out which camcorder we were going to buy and then we got ice cream with a dear friend who lived around the corner.

A week later I showed up at my appointment complaining of a serious headache, and again, had high blood pressure.  Cue another round of labor and delivery assessment.  It was determined that I was, in fact, starting to develop pre-e.  My doctor scheduled my induction for two days later, and on Monday November 3, 2008, Elanor Athena was born.

In that case, my pre-e was fairly mild, and it developed late enough that we never had to weigh the risks and benefits of trying to prolong the pregnancy.  At 39 weeks, she was a full term baby (and the health issues I’ve alluded to before had nothing to do with my having pre-e or the induction).  My condition was stable enough that we were able to do an induction and vaginal delivery, and all was well that ended well.

Rhiannon’s pregnancy was a different story altogether.

Me, approximately 5 hours before Rhiannon was born

I had high blood pressure throughout the pregnancy, and had to check regularly for protein once I passed the 20 week mark.  Having had pre-e once makes your odds of developing it again very high.  The working theory is that Singapore’s climate was to blame.  When I traveled home (and I did so several times during the pregnancy), my blood pressure would drop down to “normal”.  I also had hyperemesis, this time so severely that I actually stopped needing insulin as I wasn’t keeping down enough food for it to give me blood sugar spikes.  I logged innumerable hours laying on the cool tile of my bathroom floor, crying because I felt so sick.  I wasn’t officially on bed rest, but I often felt so weak and sick that I spent a lot of the pregnancy in bed, or at least at home with the air conditioning as high as possible.

I was 33 weeks and 2 days when we had Elanor’s third birthday party.  I had the party a month early because, as I kept joking, “I don’t want to go into labor in the middle of her party.” (Her birthday is Nov 3 and I was due the 15th.)  I didn’t go into labor during the party…but I did go into early labor two days later.  I had to be hospitalized for two days while they tried to stop the contractions.  I was given a steroid shot to try to help mature the baby’s lungs in case they couldn’t stop the labor and I had to deliver.  The medication used to successfully stop the labor sent my already high blood pressure even higher, and I went home on blood pressure medication.

At 33 weeks pregnant, having the baby was a possibility, but it meant risking a lot of potential problems associated with prematurity.  I began to see my OB every other day, and I had to take my blood pressure at home several times a day.  I was officially on bed rest, only getting up to use the bathroom (and shower), and to go to the doctor.  We knew I was going to have the baby ahead of schedule, but at that point, it was all about prolonging the pregnancy as long as possible.  A baby born at 33 or 34 weeks is at risk for low birth weight, breathing difficulty (as the lungs are not yet fully mature), feeding issues (the suck/swallow reflex isn’t mature) as well as other complications.  Every day we could prolong the pregnancy would have positive benefits for the baby, and I was not yet sick enough that I was at high risk to develop the more serious eclampsia or HELLP syndrome.

As I closed in on 35 weeks (our goal was 37-full term, or as close to it as possible), my condition began to deteriorate.  I felt worse every day, and my OB had me start coming in daily to assess both my and the baby’s condition.  At 35 weeks and 3 days, October 13th (one day after my husband’s 35th birthday) we decided that I should have the baby–that day.  My blood pressure was high enough that she did not feel safe allowing an induction, and instead we scheduled a C-section for later in the day.  About 7 hours later, Rhiannon was born.  Although tiny (2.48 kg or about 5.5 lbs), her only complication was jaundice (which is common in full term infants, and not necessarily a complication of her early arrival).

Holding Rhiannon, minutes after she was born.

In both cases, having the baby cured my preeclampsia, although it took a bit longer to resolve the second time around as it was a more severe case.

It is important to educate yourself about preeclampsia, and to be on the lookout for the symptoms.  Do not EVER feel like you’re bothering your doctor with complaints of headaches or if your baby doesn’t pass a kick count–they actually want and need to know.  It is far better to have an extra ultrasound (which poses zero risk to your baby-an ultrasound uses sound waves) than to miss an important sign that something could be wrong.  Your doctor is going to be able to best advise you when you present a complete picture of your health.

While it is extremely rare, there is also a postpartum form of preeclampsia that can occur during the first six weeks post-delivery.

The best way I can honor Preeclampsia Awareness Month is to share my story and to urge you, if you are pregnant or planning to become so, to educate yourself about this common complication of pregnancy.

Jacob Ballas is usually not crowded, and that’s what I like about the place. It’s probably because the garden is big, so there are lots of spaces for running around. Perfect for children, I say. Plus, fresh air anytime is good.

And as we walk in the garden, I’ll usually point out the different plants to my kids, if I know its something they know or can identify with. Thankfully, my girls are pretty inquisitive and interested to learn most of the time.(Unless when we get near to the playground!)

We found this mini hanging bridge and the girls had fun running to and fro it.

And there is also a mini waterfall within the park. =) The inside of the cave was probably the coolest spot in the whole park, LOL!

And of course, the central attraction of the park is this treehouse & slide!

I’m sure my girls don’t mind having such a treehouse in our backyard (When we have a backyard).

For some fresh air and plenty of spaces to walk and explore, the Jacob Ballas Children’s Garden is a great choice. =)

Coming to the Garden is a feast for the eyes. Everything is green and pretty.

We spotted forget-me-nots and we stopped to ‘touch and close’ them. Forget-me-nots always fascinate kids. I remember being fascinated myself as a kid!

And the part the kids were really looking forward to was the WATER PLAY! The weather was so scorching hot I wished I could jump in myself. The cold water will be very welcome! But for fear of ruining my public image, I curbed myself.

Now you can see why Jacob Ballas Children’s Garden is one of our favorites. It’s got everything nice and fun. =)

Saw some sweet baby and toddler dresses at Gap when I was at Vivo. Aren’t baby girls so much more fun to shop for? I know they will outgrow the clothing in no time, but sometimes, it’s so hard to resist and I rationalize that you could take lots of pictures and they will forever be in the child’s memory.

I wish my mum had kept at least one of my baby dresses but back then they were not as sentimental about clothing. In the old days we only got new dresses on our birthdays or special occasions. Something like 3 times a year and in my albums we are often wearing the same thing over and over till we outgrew them.

I just wanted to write this post as a reminder to mums to keep one or two of their favourite dresses. Another idea is to get a dress for a 12-year-old and place your baby in it and photograph them in the same outfit every year. I say 12 because it might be harder to get a teenager to cooperate. It’s a cool way to see them grow. Saw this idea on TV and I thought it was lovely. Probably on Oprah I think. An episode on rituals with your child.

This is a sweet little dress for your infant, but S$39 for such a small amount of fabric? I seriously wonder how much this costs in the US. I am sure there are genuine sales there where it will cost half or less?

photo by bookjunkie

photo by bookjunkie

photo by bookjunkie

photo by bookjunkie

But I would recommend my pen pal to tour our unique HEARTLANDS !

Hawker centres sustain our meals, Singaporeans built their homes in high rise HDB apartments. Urban Singapore got both old and new buildings co-existing. Even the different faiths can practice side by side, church, temples, mosques all within close proximity. Splendid !

A city of paradoxes and contrasts.
My friend, I thought you might be interested to know how real Singaporeans
Live, Eat, Play and Party in tiny Singapore.

Singapore is only 640sq and we are half the size of New York City.
Yet, 5 million people are packed into our city.

#01 Some people refuse to believe that Singapore still have gardens to cater to people’s well-being. From Changi International Airport to your hotel, you will see rows of green foliage along East Coast Parkway (ECP) greeting our visitors. Singapore used to be a “garden city”, but is now a “City in a Garden”. [nParks]

#02 Most Singaporeans live in Housing Development Board (HDB) apartment flats, typically highrise buildings from 10 to 50 storeys. You will see skyscrapers everywhere in Singapore, as land is so scarce. You might wonder how we utilise the sun to dry our clothes?
Look at photo of beanpoles below.[URA and HDB]

#03 Shopping is one of Singapore’s passion. No worries my friend,
I am not going to ask you to count the number of shopping centres.
Orchard road carries 2km of Singapore’s shopping belt. Since Singapore is always hot, that’s why the ladies are not complaining about shopping in aircon comfort.

#04 Eating is the other national hobby. Normal Singaporeans eat at hawker centres or food courts. Although you will not have waiters and butlers, you get quality food at economy price.
Try to blend in with the locals, and I promise you a new meaning to “alfresco“.
(eating and perspiring at the same time haha)

As Singapore is a multi-racial country, you can stretch your tastebud with India’s curry, China’s noodles, Tom Yam, Sashimi and Kim Chi. Lamp chop from New Zealand, salmon from Norway, prime sirloin from USA, and durians from Malaysia. The world is our supermarket.

If you still need burgers and sandwiches, you can always get fast food from MacDonald and Subway. Singaporean is a fortunate bunch. We are obsessed and blessed with food.
If you love to eat, you will be spoil for choices in Singapore.

#05 We travel around Singapore on our public transport system like MRT (trains), buses, and cabs. Although we have an efficient system, it is no secret that our youths aspire to own their own set of wheels, even when a 1.6l sedan will set you back by SGD 90,000 !

What other things can you attempt in Singapore, beside Eating, and Shopping?

a) Visit migrating birds from as far away as Siberia !
[Nature Society Singapore]

b) The no1 dare factor, would be attempting to swallow the durian, king of fruit.
Spiky outside, fleshy and pungent inside. Most westerners agree it is an acquired taste, and it taste better when they pinch their nose :p

Durian is not to be mistaken with our Esplanade Arts Theatre !

My friend, when you leave Singapore, I hope you will tell your country folks that Singapore is not only about “chewing gum, capital punishment, and lack of human rights”. We are actually a Fine city

Amaze your neighbours by peppering your speech with new lingos like “Durians, beanpoles, CTE/ECP/HDB (all the abbreviations), and throw in some Singlish “oooh, lah and wah” !

Singapore is only boring if you believe so.
Even our kids know where are the happening places !

*** How would you share Singapore with your oversea friends?

Your pen pal,
Andy Lee

photo Credit – most photos above are taken from “Wikipedia.org“