I thank my lucky stars they did!

I’ll write more on a day I didn’t get another job rejection and am thus depressed (I’ll write more on the job hunt as well! Lucky!). I’ll instead direct you to something positive and the product of everyone’s hard work:

On one of our visits down to Oregon visiting Mack’s parents something inside me changed (or snapped) and suddenly I wanted chickens. This in itself was really odd since I’m scared of chickens. Or at least I was more so then I am now. Something about their beady eyes and sharp talons was a major turn off to me. Until I had farm fresh eggs. After that? Suddenly chickens weren’t all that bad in my book.

As we prepare to get some chickens for our backyard I decided it was high-time I do some research and learn more about these predators (joking) who will soon be making our lives a whole lot more chaotic.

1. More than 50 billion chickens are reared annually as a source of food, for both their meat and their eggs.
2. The vast majority of poultry are raised using intensive farming techniques. According to the Worldwatch Institute, 74 percent of the world’s poultry meat, and 68 percent of eggs are produced this way.
3. The broody hen will stop laying and instead will focus on the incubation of the eggs (a full clutch (all the eggs produced by birds or reptiles at a single time) is usually about 12 eggs).
4. Incubation for eggs is about 21 days (if the egg has been fertilized).
5. Chickens may live for five to eleven years, depending on the breed.
6. Meat chicken generally lives six weeks before slaughter.
7. Chickens can sense fear. This excites them.**
8. A chicken is 75% water.
9. A chicken once had its head cut off and survived for over eighteen months, headless.
10. There are more chickens on Earth than there are humans.
11. There are four cities in the United States that have the word “chicken” in their name: Chicken, Alaska; Chicken Bristle, Illinois; Chicken Bristle, Kentucky; and Chicken Town, Pennsylvania.
12. The chicken is the closest living relative of the tyrannosaurus-rex.
13. Hens will try to lay in nests that already contain eggs, and have been known to move eggs from neighboring nests into their own. Hens can also be extremely stubborn about always laying in the same location.
14. The fear of chickens is called ‘Alektorophobia’.
15. On average, a hen layouts 300 eggs per year.

* emphasis on “I didn’t know”.
** citation needed.

my sources: Amazing Chicken Facts, Wikipedia: Chicken, and 20 Little Known Facts about Chickens

It started as this…

And ended like this!

Supply List:

• 1 large storage tote container. (We used the Roughneck Storage Box found at Walmart).
• 1 bag of potting mix (note: needs peat moss in it. We used Organic Choice Potting Mix by Miracle-Gro)
• Seeds
• Sharpie (for marking outlines and such)
• 1 3-foot tall pipe.
• 4 5-inch tall 1″x1″ wood pieces.
• 1 colander
• 2 cups of fertilizer
• 4 screws
• Electric drill
• Box cutter
• Bungee Chords (note: not needed until later)

We used this guide specifically as our point of reference. Also this magical PDF will be useful later in the process.

Step One: Cutting the Top to Fit Inside the Tote

The top of the container will be what the dirt goes on top of. How this works is that underneath the tote’s top (which will be cut down to size) is a water reservoir so that the water feeds up into the soil. This insures that the soil and plants have a constant water supply and also means you can’t really overwater the plant!. Also, watering doesn’t erode the soil or flush nutrients, which would happen if you watered it from up top.

Further, it makes watering convenient since you only need to refill the water supply every 2-3 days instead of remembering to water the plants daily.

You want the cut lid to end up being sitting about 2/3 of the way down the tote container, on the 1×1 wood “legs”. I recommend checking your progress often so you don’t cut too much off!

Step Two: Cutting a Hole for the Colander

The colander will sit down in the water, and is full of soil and peat moss. Since it is in the water, it what will draw the water up into the soil and keep the plants thriving.

Mack marked an “X” at the center of the top of the tote as his starting point. After doing this he took a sharpie to draw the outline (minus an inch) of the colander so he had an idea as to where to cut.

We found this colander at Walmart for less than $2. When searching for yours I recommend finding ones with smaller holes, to help prevent soil from escaping. Another options is using any size of colander, but placing a wire or PVC mesh in— we didn’t do that, this time.

Step Three: Cutting out area for the pipe

Mack and I kind of messed up steps three and four. We HIGHLY recommended that you cut out the area that the pipe will go through before attaching the legs. Otherwise it’s kind of a pain to try and work around the legs.

Step Four: Attaching the Legs

I think the title alone is a good descriptor as to what you do during this step.

No, he’s not flipping me off. It’s one of those awesome timing instances

Ta-da!

Step Five: Drilling Holes in the Pipe

For easier water flow when you pour water down into the pipe!

Mack marked up where he wanted the holes to go. Unfortunately our drill bit was still in storage (and we were NOT going out again) so he ended up using a screw to drill the holes into the pipe.

I’d seriously recommend having the right drill bit for this process. I mean, it’s totally do-able with a screw if you’re like Mack and resourceful. If you’re like me? Make it as simple as possible for yourself.

Step Six: Scraping off the Excess

I don’t know how earth-shattering this step is and how much it’d help with the water flow but Mack wanted to do it. I think it’s because he had his knife in his pocket.

Mack loves knifes.

It’s actually kind of adorable in a mildly creepy sort of way.

Step Seven: Putting in Holes on the Tote for Drainage

Now, you should put all the pieces together and be amazed at your handy work.

Or in my case: my boyfriends handy work.

Next you’re going to need to put holes on the side so that you don’t over-water the soil. If you didn’t do so when I suggested it (just above), I recommended putting it together now so that you have an idea as to where the top of the tote (bottom of the soil) is in comparison to the bottom of the tote. You want to have about an inch below where the cut top, standing on its legs, is so you don’t over-water.

Mark the level of where the top sits, then mark the points for the drainage holes. Again we used screws for this process. Having the right drill bit would have helped. Improvising also works (as you can see). Mack marked and drilled three holes, as close to level as possible.

Step Eight: Adding the Dirt to the Colander

Look at the progress you’ve made! Now it’s time to get dirty and add the dirt to the colander!

Step one: open the bag! Okay, nothing special there, but it is a vital step. Anyway, add the soil to the colander and pack it in. You want it to be pretty firmly in there so it doesn’t all fall through.

Add some water as well as you’re filling it up so it’s nice and moist.

Step Nine: Fill ‘Er Up!

Now fill the rest of the container up with dirt.

Remember to stop and add water so the soil is, again, nice and moist. You’ll only need to water the soil three or four times.

Also, crush any big clumps of dirt as you go.

Look at this sexy earth box:

Step Ten: Add Water

Now to fill up the bottom of the container with water so it can get it’s irrigation going.

We found that it was kind of a pain to be so precise and patient to pour it straight into a pipe. What can I say? We’re really impatient with this sort of stuff. That said, Mack took an old 2-liter bottle we had in recycling and cut off the top so we had a funnel for pouring. A normal funnel works just fine. We didn’t have one handy.

Fill it up until is starts overflowing through those handy holes you drilled in the side.

Step Eleven: Adding Plant Food to the Soil

Now, I was told on flickr that we used WAAAAY too much of this stuff but the PDF we were looking at had specific recommendations for how much to use based on what kind of seeds we were planting.

It recommends 2-cups of plant food for each container. As to where the placement goes depends on what you are planting, look at the PDF linked above for placement instructions.

With this you make a stripe hill (we were planting leeks thus it went in the center of the container).

Hollow it out:

Fill with the plant food:

And cover with dirt:

Step Twelve: Poke!

Next step you poke holes into the dirt to put the seeds in.

Again depending on what kind of seeds will depend on placement and how many holes you will be poking. Again: check out this helpful PDF for instructions.

Step Thirteen: Add the Seeds

This is where I stepped in and pretended like I was useful.

It’s like I’m a hand model or something.

Drop the seeds into the holes that you had poked into the dirt:

And cover with soil.

Step Fourteen: Lightly Water Top

Since the top layer will probably still be dry, do a light watering over the seeds so it’s consistently moist throughout.

Mack drilled holes in the top of my water jugs for this. You can also use a watering bucket if you have one.

Final Product

Now it’s all together and beautiful!

It was hard work (for Mack) but well worth it! Now we have a garden we’ll be able to move when we move in the next few weeks and (hopefully) our own tasty vegetables to enjoy!

Hope this guide was helpful and you enjoy making your own earth boxes!

[tags]earth box, how to’s, gardening, garden, earthbox, do it yourself[/tags]

… and Mack just informed me it’s Pyrex Cookware.

My point remains.

They’re really smart so it makes them harder to tune out

The women in Mack’s family are really good at gardening and have a real passion for it. Their passion and skills are so impressive that they make a lazy sloth like me who seriously dislikes dirt go ‘Huh, you know, I really want to have a garden someday.’ Especially when Mack and his sister get in long discussions about organic foods and the art of growing your own “farm fresh” vegetables.

Cue a few weekends ago.

Mack and I are in the process of looking into renting a house which is a process and a half. Plus, it’s been a year since we’ve moved and those of you who know us know we make a yearly habit of moving. For those of you just “met me” can read category of “moving” or the months of June and July 2008 to know we are insane and obviously love the stress. I bring up this fact since, as many you gardeners would point out, a few weeks back (and even now) is like the prime time to get our planting on.

What are these twenty-somethings to do?

After doing some extensive research Mack found that the best solution for our problem would be the Earthbox. Now, we could have ordered this product which has raves reviews but you know what? We’re impatient and cheap so decided it would be fun to try out making our own version of the Earthbox. Of course there is plenty of websites out there devoted to making them and guess what? WhoahGirl just became another one.

You lucky people!

While I will go into more detail in a more extensive post here I’ll give you more background as to the preparation, the effort that went into it, and why I was on photography duty since for some reason Mack doesn’t trust me with a box cutter.

First off it required a trip to a store where we could find a lot of our supplies (the tote, soil, etc). Unfortunately the place we decided would be the best solution would be Walmart. Mack and I have very mixed feelings about Walmart since the last few times we went there while still living in Florida everything we bought came broken. Like, it would be understandable if one bookshelf unit had damage on it but three? And a broken lamp straight off the bat? Needless to say we tended to avoid Walmart like the plague unless I was in a mood to do some people watching and enjoy the people of walmart.

What can I say? We were feeling frisky and cheap that particular Saturday. And boy, did we have fun when we hit the gardening center.

After the joy and frustration of being at Walmart (where I ended up wandering to the “entertainment center” to calm down since DVDs always have that affect on me) we went over to Home Depot. This, of course, saved Mack the effort of teasing me of how I pronounce “Lowe’s” as “LOLS!”

Two art degrees. Remember that.

Now, when it comes to “Home Improvement” I think it’s pretty safe to say that the only thing safe for me to handle would be painting the walls. Maybe. One time Mack came back to Florida from a trip and found that I had tried to build one of the shelving units and done so wrong. Three times. I don’t like reading instructions which is probably why I’m still learning how to work my Nikon D90.

I’m stubborn. I think you already knew that though.

Back to Home Depot: we went into the lumber department since we needed to get some wood “legs” for this contraption of earthy goodness. Finally, after finding a long thing of wood (I’m so technical) we were able to find an associate to cut the wood. Unfortunately he misheard Mack and cut a few pieces to the wrong size which caused him to have to start over with the right measurements. By this point Mack and I were more amused that we saw the “security code” to start the machine which was far from a secure four-digit number. As the associate cut the pieces to the right side I decided to walk around (since I hate standing in one place for too long) the huge oasis of Home Improvement in search of piping for the boxes.

Once the wood pieces were cut Mack and I managed to track each other down and found an associate to cut the pipping. Now, this part is truly frightening to the girl who attempted to cut off her finger with a razor: the associate pulled out a saw and just started cutting the pieces right there in the middle of the aisle! I held back flinching, expecting a limb to fall off, while Mack and the associate just went to town on the pipe cutting the three pieces to exact size. After all this was done and paid for we headed home with our supplies and a feeling of excitement of starting a garden.

Next post: the actual building of the Earth box by Mack since, let’s be honest: I hung back and took pictures. I like my limbs where they are, thank you very much.

[tags]earthbox, building, home improvement, do it yourself, gardening, garden, walmart, home depot, crafts[/tags]

Isn’t that the mentality of a sheep? I don’t know. I don’t really want to examine that.

Now, not to toot my own horn but I also happen to have two degrees in web design meaning I have a fairly good idea about it. Of course, design is very subjective but I think in earning those two degrees and working the field I have a fairly good idea as to what works and what doesn’t. Or at least that is what the $400+ a month I am paying back in student loans tells me.

Since I am now taking my photography seriously I’ve been trying to figure out a watermark to place on my photos so that people won’t steal them and claim them as their own. Sure, it would my photos out there, but it accomplishes nothing for me if my name isn’t attached attached to said photos. And I want people knowing me by my uber skills.

In going through other people’s photography, I noticed that there are a LOT of ugly watermarks out there. Like, to the levels of “why did you ruin your photo with that watermark?” bad. Some of them are honest mistakes but make me stop when I’m looking at the photo and stare at the watermark and get angry about it… as though the watermark itself personally offended me.

I have issues, I know.

So after seeing the ump-teenth million ugly watermark I thought I’d do a guide as to what makes BAD watermarks and show some good ones based upon my subjective opinion.

Note: I’m not claiming to be the expert on this subject matter and welcome your comments and how you watermark YOUR images. This is all based upon my education/experience/design subjective opinion so take it with a grain of salt if you must.

First, let’s take one of my images.

Such a sexy tulip!

Now, a very common one I see is the excessive use of cursive fonts since frilly makes it “professional” looking.

There is so much curly stuff going on I don’t know where to look! Trust me, I personally like handwriting-esk fonts but using them as watermarks is simply distracting and doesn’t give it the “personal yet professional” edge you’re looking for.

Next is using my mortal enemy font, Curlz:

This font should be taken outside and shot. If it happens to survive the shooting may I suggest shooting it again? It looks like a kid wrote on your photography and I immediately lump you in to a category of “you don’t know what you’re doing”. I have very strong opinions on this font but who doesn’t. Don’t use this font, plain and simple.

Next would be the long name watermark:

Trust me I get the long name thing. I have four legal names! That doesn’t mean that I want ALL of them on my photography though! Try to stick to three words or less with your watermarks.

What about putting what kind of photography that you specialize in!

Let’s give the end-users some credit that they’d be able to figure out what you specialize in photography wise from the picture alone.

What about putting the URL of my blog/portfolio on the image? That’ll guarantee if the image is stolen they’ll know where to go!

I’ve thus far only seen a handful of this method successfully pulled off. Again, it’s distracting and unnecessary in my opinion. Just put your name on it or something and a simple google search would turn up all sorts of juicy results about you!

The HTML wannabe watermark:

Are you even trying?

BIG DISTRACTING watermark:

You’ve got my attention! It’s focused on the watermark and NOTHING ELSE.

Unnecessary objects:

I like icons but if they’re, again, complex my attention will be focused on trying to figure out what the heck is in the watermark and completely ignore the actual photo.

Watermarks that work

Now that I’ve thoroughly ripped on what doesn’t work here are some examples of what I feel does work. Again I know this is all subjective but stick with me.

Simple name and copyright with slight fade:

Marks my territory without being all up in your face. Now, I put this in the corner which is very easy for people to crop out. I’ve seen people successfully put these type over their images in an attempt to prevent thievery of the images and not distract people who are trying to enjoy the image. I hate to break it to people but if they’re bound and determined to steal your image and erase the watermark they will but hey, at least this way it’d present a challenge without being too distracting for honest people.

Sideways copyright:

Again, my territory is marked and you aren’t pulled immediately to that copyright information.

Finally: a simple and clean logo:

My information is there with a clean logo that doesn’t, again, distract. Just my initial and my nickname underneath. It’s magic! I also grabbed colors from the actual image to make it blend in more. Let’s hear it for the color selector!

And look, I can even put it over the main part of the image to give those thieves more of a challenge:

Alllllllllll right.

I hope these were helpful and make you ponder your watermarks. Consider: are they distracting and taking away from your photography? Remember that you want your photo to be the focal point. No matter how large and obnoxious your watermark is if there is a will, there is a way for thieves to make off with your work if they want to.

With that in mind: keep it simple and clean. And have fun!

[tags]photography, how-to’s, watermarks, guide, watermark guide, photography, suggestions, subjective design[/tags]

• All heroines are accomplished equestrians. I had a theory after reading many books that perhaps the reason why I did not have a boyfriend until later in life was: I don’t enjoy horseback riding. I like those smelly beasts, don’t get me wrong, and know how to ride them but they have never held any sort of interest to me. The heroine in romance novels, however, will always be an accomplished equestrian even if she has NEVER been on a horse before. Usually she will be able to race against the best of the best and ride better then most males. Then again, there could be a reason for it (video from Cruel Intentions 2, NSFW).
• The missionary position has not failed us since the beginning of time, why stop now? When the couple FINALLY tumble into the bed together letting their inner passions and desires be released 9 times out of 10 they do missionary position. Occasionally the female will end up on top but that is rare and once in a blue moon. With all the experience under the heroes belt why does he not know more sexual positions? It’s not like I’m suggesting they get toys involved (at first) but what is with the limited selection here? Don’t you think after a while our STD-free hero will get bored and try to spice it up? Or, since it’s mind-blowing sex already, why break what is already perfect? But, as my friend pointed out: even innocents virgins will give exceptional blow jobs. And, of course, the hero always thinks about the heroine’s pleasure first and foremost.
• There is no abortions, only near miscarriages. Children are ALWAYS wanted in the end. I think in all my romance novel reading I have perhaps encountered one abortion happening and it was written away as her not wanting it but thinking it was what the back-stabber boyfriend at the time wanted. Children, in romance novels, are always wanted. Especially if they are medieval romance novels in which the heroes need their heirs to carry on the family name/titles/fortune. Those males who can never see themselves as father figures will, in the end, cave and become excited and a doting loving father figure.
• The heroine always knows how to fight like a man if the occasion arises… even if she’s never had to fight for her life. The heroines will usually know some sort of art of war. Wether is be sword-play, archery, or any of those other war things my female mind does not care for, the heroine will know how to do it. In one novel I read recently the heroine went against and BEAT this legendary warrior with her skills with all of thee above. No matter how many years men have trained to become hardened warriors the heroine will no matter what still be able to best them.
• Even if the hero is the biggest anti-marriage person she will ever meet he will instantly want to marry the heroine and make her his “own”. See children point above.
• The hero is always well endowed. Never mind that the typical penis size is (non-erect) 3-4 inches long, the hero’s penis will be so long that the heroine will be impaled with it. Of course, with that, if she has had a past lover he will have been small in comparison and a fraction of the size of the hero’s penis. I don’t know what the romance women writers are trying to get it with the penis size. Is it wishful thinking? Wishing their man’s members were larger or gloating at real men with the fictional sizes. Women, get a dildo and stop writing about men with 12-inch dicks. It’s just as fulfilling.
• Orgasms are always obtained with a 5-second delay for error. The heroine will always, ALWAYS climax. Remember, the hero is about HER pleasure so the heroine will always get off. As they say: nice guys always finish last. Women in romance novels get off really, really quickly too. None of this hours of foreplay b.s.; all the hero has to do is look at her and orgasm is reached. Never mind stuff you know and read about on the female orgasm (link NSFW). Before the hero (if the heroine has had past lovers) she will not have experienced an orgasm before or not one as earth-shattering as with the hero. Ladies, this is the definition of good sex. Too bad you’ll only ever read about it.

Now, I’m not hard-core addicted to them and have a collection to rival a bookstore or anything. I have a select few I have bought over the years that I enjoy reading from time to time though. I am hardly an expert at the “art of romance” novels so my list will be full of generalizations and meant to be funny (so don’t get huffy romance readers/writers).

Based on the books I have read and my deeper understanding I have gained from them, here are things I (and my friend’s) have learned from romance novels (split into two parts since obviously I have learned a lot):

• The heroine must be damn near pure as snow before they’re bedded. In the past women were prized for their virginity and being “pure” upon their wedding day. Although the “moral standards” of the past have loosened (heh), typically you see the heroine has limited or no experience in the sack. If she has had lovers they were few and far between. They were meaningless relationships being not that good, or the man betrayed her in some sort of way (cheating usually), or died tragically, thus making her unsure she can ever love (put out) again.
• The hero tends to be sex god who have been around the block more then once with surprisingly no STDs. What I don’t get it with all the heroes sleeping around with hundreds of thousands of women why they didn’t catch something along the way? I mean, STDs have been around for awhile. The heros are always the picture of health and pure sex godliness. Why, with all their aimless sexual encounters, doesn’t the heroine have that burning sensation when she pees after coupling with the hero?
• It is ALWAYS the BEST sex they have ever had when they (finally!) have sex. Throw out all you have ever known about sex before this. When the couple finally has sex if you look up “satisfied” and “earth-shattering” in the dictionary, their pictures will most likely be located there. When I was a teenager I once asked my Mom why she never read romance novels and her reply was simply this: “Because the sex is always the BEST they EVER had.”
• The heroine always has lots of pride, spirit, and isn’t too womanly while still being able to be a woman. The heroine will never shrink away from a good fight and will always be proud in all that she does. She is willing to do stupid stuff in order to save her pride and typically does not like to apologize when she’s wrong. That, my dear reader, would “ruin her pride”. This goes with the hero as well, however, in romance novels the word pride tends to be one of the adjectives most commonly attached with the heroine. Without this pride the couple would not have nearly as many misunderstandings and the books would probably be about 200 pages shorter.
• She’s never a common beauty. More often-then-naught, she will be an “exotic” beauty. Whatever the common “rage” of the Season is for beauty the heroine will not be it. If blonde and blue-eyed is the “thing”, she will have deep maroon/brunette/red/black hair with hazel/green/brown/aquamarine eyes. Mix and match as you choose. Her features will be different thus making her stand-out and often will become the new “rage” simply because it is “different.” 
• If she is not a beauty and is “frumpy” or “common” the hero’s love will make her beautiful. See the Cinderella story concept that has been done over, and over, and over again.
• They were “awkward” looking when young. This is not always the case but sometimes in their youth many of the heroine’s suffered from the “ugly duckling” syndrome. They were either too thin/fat, their ears/eyes/nose/something is usually too large/small, their hair sticks out funny/is an awkward shade of something. Basically, they’re normal and like the rest of us until they grow up when they blossom and become that rare beauty that we will never be.
• The heroine will always not believe in social castes and treat everyone equally. It is a rare case indeed in romance novels where the heroine will act within her station of life. Instilled in their very core of being is the modern concept of “equality” which makes them defy societies norm and befriend the “lower classes.” In many cases they’re close with the servants, confiding their hearts inner woes and becoming wonderful friends. But, even with the friendship, I don’t see them stopping their “friend” from cleaning their piss-pot. Just saying. 
• Both the hero and heroine will have some sort of dysfunctional family growing up which create emotional scars that need to be overcome. Usually together. Inevitably either the hero or the heroine will have a messed up childhood of some sort. From one or both parents dying and/or neglect (or sometimes abuse) they tend to carry the emotional scars along with them well into adulthood which give them issues with commitment and trust. Usually when they have found each other a life-time of emotional scars is cured through the power of ~love~ and not therapy. 
• Genitalia is magically beautiful, and bodily fluids taste like fine wine. I think this point pretty much speaks for itself.

to be continued…