Why Football Is Cool

Cowboys are the American Dream

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Tue, 29 May 2012 11:50:00 +0000

According to the statistical maestros at ESPN, the Dallas Cowboys are America's most popular pro football team - still. ESPN Sports Polls has found that 8.8 per cent of surveyed fans support the 'Boys, which makes them more popular than even media darlings like the Packers, Pats, Steelers, or Jets - and presumably their hottest fan, Kate Upton, too. While that last point seems implausible, there hasn't been a club in the NFL's history that has built on its All American aura quite like the Cowboys, and for such a sustained period. It's the sort of branding brilliance Pete Campbell depends on to close a deal, failing other measures that is.

Think Dallas Cowboys and a multitude of images come to mind: the iconic starred helmet, Tom Landry's hat, buxom cheerleaders, Staubach's spirals and sideburns, Emmitt's spins - on an off the field, the Ring of Honor, Parcells raging along the sideline, Tony Romo scrambling, Jerry's giant arena, and well, bags and bags full of profit. America's team continues living the dream folks.

Tebow and Sanchez spitballing

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Mon, 28 May 2012 12:01:00 +0000

In spite of the passive-aggressive offseason criticism, the pent up big city anxiety, and the Woody Allen-like pessimism, the Jets are likely to have a successful offense in 2012-13 for one simple reason: quarterbacks Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow are able to move on from mistakes faster than Don Draper.

At a recent training session, each QB revealed better navigation of the press pocket than anything they could do behind center.

Sanchez said of his approach to improving: “Don’t get caught up in who completed what ball, who didn’t — don’t even let your mind go there. It’s not worth the time. It’s a waste. Just focus on the next play, have a short memory and keep playing. Be the leader this team needs.”

Tebow said of his error prone workout: "It's definitely frustrating, but it's seven-on-seven and those plays are the first time I ran them. I'll learn from it. Honestly, it won't bother me again. When you make a bad play, put it behind you and move on."

At this rate both men could be benched for Fireman Ed and still find the silver lining.

"He's just such a fiery competitor, with tremendous spelling skills, and nobody utilizes the crowd's energy like Ed does," they might say in unison to a throng of reporters. "Don't underestimate the reach of that man's hose."

Lolo Jones tweets would ensue.

The 46, aged and grilled to perfection

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Tue, 22 May 2012 02:56:00 +0000

There's been some chatter about the old 46 defense lately - not to be confused with John Candy's Old 96er in The Great Outdoors - mainly because the Jets are looking to implement more of it in 2012, according to The Star-Ledger. While we all have visions of Mike Singletary and the Bears flustering and thumping block-padded eighties' offenses using the 46, it's hard to know what actually transpired when the formation unfolded. Part of that was due to the swirling movement in the middle, the other part probably due to beer.

Buddy Ryan's 46 is simply a version of the 4-3, stacking eight in the box but six on the line. Key to any play was clogging the middle with three boulders opposing the offensive line's middle. These men, if they were big enough - and in Chicago they were bigger than the Sears, the Chase and Hancock combined - would essentially steer the play the way they wanted. That meant running was futile. Then on the pass, Ryan sent everyone like a pack of wolves. The strong safety also came down in the box and played like a linebacker, on the balls of his feet, ready to pounce. It was fast, furious and more distracting to a signal-caller than Jordana Brewster.

Lawrence Taylor's yard sale

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Sun, 20 May 2012 03:51:00 +0000

With Lawrence Taylor's '91 Super Bowl ring up for auction this week, more than a few fans are wondering what in the world is going on. Just the Super Bowl ring LT? What kind of sale is that?

Well fear not shoppers! For a limited time only, we're offering the following Taylor family goodies in conjunction with LT's ring.

Get in there before Usi does!

Beach sunglasses:

These designer sunglasses not only reduce glare but on the average wearer will protect cheeks and ears too. LT loved the green frames with intricate orange star design, which certainly adds some summertime class. Bids start at $1.75.

Toothbrush:

This yellow toothbrush is still in good condition and suitable for both home or travel. Used by LT on west coast road trips! Bids start at $6.05.

Lawn chair:

This delightful lawn chair, favoured by LT when reading the playbook, is carved in a classic nineteenth century style with red oak. Ideal for all members of the family, especially those who can't squeeze into the sofa. Bids start at $12.

9 ways to be drafted in the NFL's first round

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Fri, 04 May 2012 11:18:00 +0000

Be named for good fortune (Luck), or like a millionaire, Thurston (Griffin III).
Parade your gorgeous wife to upstage any doubts (Ryan Tannehill).
Hug the commish to validate choice to Jets fans (Quinton Coples).
Ride a wave of popularity, or better yet, a Crimson Tide (Richardson, Barron, Kirkpatrick, Hightower).
Be the best back in the draft (Trent Richardson), but not to the greatest of all time, Jim Brown.
Stall buzz (Chandler Jones), but accelerate credibility as a Bill Belichick pick.
Own the draft day cap, even when it doesn't fit (Dre Kirkpatrick).
Offer speed, promise a rush (Bruce Irvin), outrun Seattle's Twelfth Man.
Be a 28-year old quarterback for a team needing the real McCoy.

Tannehill risky but right pick for Miami

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 07:15:00 +0000

The questions are falling like summer rain in Florida.

The Miami Dolphins are copping some heavy criticism for taking Ryan Tannehill at No.8 in the NFL draft this week. Some experts believe the Texas A&M wideout-cum-signal-caller is inexperienced, and somewhat inaccurate. The Palm Beach Post called the pick "a tremendous risk". No riskier than bright orange jerseys, really.

Most concede the young Texan has potential, especially because of his size (he's 6'4), fleet-footedness, and arm strength, which, if you watch his highlight reel or pro day tape, shows the player's ability to throw short, long, on the move, and both inside and outside the pocket. Already that's five throws more than Tim Tebow can make.

Tannehill's so-called rawness is the sticking point for many though. Most draft war rooms would have asterisked his inability to finish games at the college level, where on more than one occasion his inexperience saw him force passes, or simply make the wrong read. Scan a few news sites and you'll see the word "reach" repeated throughout Miami draft evaluations. SI.com's Tony Pauline, for one, believes there's real downside to the kid.

The questions are fair, but pessimistic. Look, there wasn't a consensus that Elle Macpherson would make it as a swimsuit model, but how'd that work out for you? Right now the Dolphins need to be excited about the future, after a mediocre free agency period, and, well, 16 years of patchy quarterback play. Tannehill looks and sounds like everything the Fins want from the position, and with new offensive co-ordinator Mike Sherman calling the shots, Tannehill's former college coach, the education continues. How many quarterbacks head into such a comfortable professional situation? How often does anybody doing anything head into such a welcoming scenario?

Furthermore, Tannehill, and his glamorous wife, will be fan favorites in a city that loves some glitz. If he can turn the packaging into an effective and entertaining product, the sky's the limit.

NFL schedulers need a flux capacitor

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 05:06:00 +0000

Nobody promotes its product ahead of time like the NFL.

The 2012 regular season NFL schedule was released this week, with the first kick-off featuring the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants on Thursday, September 5. The last time somebody advertised this far in advance, Hollywood ended up with actors much older than their characters - but because it was a movie about a time travelling DeLorean nobody cared.

It's surely an arduous decision locking in the season's initial game, finding the right balance of nationwide appeal, competitiveness, rivalry, and high-caliber cheerleaders. In the current instance, the Giants are the champs, and presumably the Cowboys are in the, er, best position to topple the champs? Sure, there's a rivalry here but who are we kidding? I'd rather see Calvin take on Hobbs on opening night.

If we run down the first weekend schedule, a couple of other games are decidedly more enticing. For a start, 49ers - Packers, a renewed rivalry with cheese melting potency, will be a cracker, with Aaron Rodgers battling the Niners stout defense, and Alex Smith vying for real credibility following a strong playoffs. Or how about Cam Newton slinging deep balls and wielding spin moves against Josh Freeman and the Bucs? That'll be more compelling than Tony Romo hitting the deck and shoving his shoulder pads back under his jersey every second play.

The Monday nighters feature sexier rivalries than long-legged label touters on the red carpet, despite the fact that both Carson Palmer and Phil Rivers have been about as effective lately as Bobby Valentine in the Red Sox clubhouse. Fried chicken and beer don't look so bad now, right?

Peyton Manning's Broncos play Big Ben's Steelers on the Sunday night, which might even give Megan's party for Don on Mad Men a run for its money, as the best ways to cap off a weekend. Congratulations to the league on that one.

Looking down the list, there are some other regional contests that will appeal to an excitable few, like the Jets and Bills, or the Rams and Detroit - the latter, especially, feels like a matinee must-see. You be the judge.

Sunday, Sept. 9

Colts at Bears, 1 p.m. ET
Jaguars at Vikings, 1 p.m. ET
Bills at Jets, 1 p.m. ET
Dolphins at Texans, 1 p.m. ET
Patriots at Titans, 1 p.m. ET
Rams at Lions, 1 p.m. ET
Redskins at Saints, 1 p.m. ET
Eagles at Browns, 1 p.m. ET
Falcons at Chiefs, 1 p.m. ET
49ers at Packers, 4:15 p.m. ET
Seahawks at Cardinals, 4:15 p.m. ET
Panthers at Buccaneers, 4:15 p.m. ET
Steelers at Broncos, 8:20 p.m. ET

Monday, Sept. 10

Bengals at Ravens, 7 p.m. ET
Chargers at Raiders, 10:15 p.m. ET

How the Jets should use Tebow

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 10:57:00 +0000

Grantland's Chris Brown recently argued that Tim Tebow's success as a Jet will require him to be a passing threat as much as a runner. Brown is adamant that there's minimal opportunity for Tebow as a Wildcat attacker, which at this early stage, seems the likely designation for New York's hottest recruit. He contends that in order for Tebow to find success in situational plays as the back-up quarterback, he needs some throwing options up his sleeve. In other words, he needs to be more than a Wildcat, or perhaps, a wildcard.

These are fair points, but I'm not sure I agree Tebow should be closer to a quarterback than a running back. Isn't it entirely possible that Tebow, a tank of a man at 6-foot-three and 236 pounds (the NFL's scariest runner is Adrian Peterson is 217 pounds), can be an effective football player without a positional label? Yes, last season he lined up as QB, and even threw some decent balls. But most of the time he succeeded as an old time halfback.

Part of the issue is that pro football's most prominent talking heads seem enamoured with the idea that football is overly complex. How often do we hear, after all, about the intricacies of play design, of elaborate assignments, and complexities of playbooks? The sentiment appears to be that if the majority can't comprehend it, then it's bordering on genius. It may well be true that the highest level of football calls for extreme focus, but at the end of the day, how ingenious is the art of deception or surprise on the sporting field? That's what it boils down to, and so to Brown's point, I can appreciate the need for Tebow to show a few things, but do some others. He can't simply run into the line after every snap, not unless he hopes to specialize in fourth and inches. But by the same token, maybe intermittent running plays is all the Jets require from Tebow.

Like the backs of a former era, Tebow is less conceptual in his approach to football: he sees a hole and he darts through it. He watches a defense lean one way, and heads the other. He's also less reliant on schemes and formations than is given credit for. For all the so-called gimmicks and gadgets that teams supposedly should employ for a player like Tebow, its the player himself who most often turns the sequence on its head and makes something happen. That's Tebow's forte - reacting! I'll concede that, sure, running backs or half backs, or "wild" backs need blocking and unbalanced formations, and the potential of several outlets or escape hatches, but they also dictate outcomes using their supreme speed, strength and vision. And in Tebow's case, an unparalleled will to succeed, too.

So, yes, the Jets will need to think through some options. They'll benefit from plays specific to Tebow's arsenal, and to pinpoint instances in which Tebow can bowl through, or around the defense, and possibly release the ball to a teammate, or even tuck it away and barge forward. But it'll be his thunderous running, and elusiveness, that'll make those plays work. And whether the defense suspects it or not, Tebow won't be denied yards. He'll additionally confuse defenses simply by being on the filed. Why? Because he's such a rare and confounding specimen - a player who can throw it if forced to, but also change direction like a running back. And not just a run-of-the-mill back NFL defenses are accustomed to preparing for, like those boasting power only, or just quickness, but rather one with an array of skills, the way old-style footballers like Jim Thorpe of the Canton Bulldogs did almost 100 years ago.

No agenda, except crossing that goal line.

Tebow's a gamer

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 03:01:00 +0000

Tim Tebow's move to the New York Jets has confounded most NFL experts and commentators. And yet, there's a strange genius at play in acquiring the country's biggest football personality to showcase his rare stylings on its grandest stage.

Here's a satirical piece I wrote earlier this year for The Good Men Project about the one, and only, Tebow.

Tebow's a gamer

There are two scenarios in which Tim Tebow would be the world's greatest quarterback: the first, on a frost-covered gridiron in Deluth Minnesota in 1923; the second, inside a football video game from the Eighties - coincidentally an era when aimlessly running in hostile environs was at a premium (see the movies Running Man, Blade Runner and Predator).

Too many people expect too much from Tebow. Of course this past season he couldn’t pitch a nine-yard out to save his life - he's a born runner, a replicant created better, for short term gain only. Why can’t we just accept the genius of his rare design?

When the video game gods considered the possibilities for a football prophet to eclipse black and white Xs and Os, they surely conjured a mold in Tebow's image. If you look closely, Tebow is in fact a Nintendo sprite, circa 1985. Left. Right. Forward. Back. The occasional awkward diagonal. Stick with these controls and Tebow will take you far. If he freezes mid-play, hit reset.

Unfortunately Tebow's in the wrong era, trapped in reality. He competes in this futuristic pigskin we know as the NFL, where his indecision and inaccuracy are brutally punished by battering rams with hardened plastic shells. It can never work, no matter what the epitomic quarterback John Elway says. Video game QBs of the mid-Eighties were different to actual QBs - more innocent, dancing and dashing around the pocket like a kid playing hopscotch in the backyard. Being pummeled in the back field was not in their repertoire, but reserved for those plodding NFLers taught to launch balls from deep in the pocket like a rusty- wheeled cannon. No, '85 sprites bounced, rolled and rambled, without a hint of deference for the defense, which looked hopelessly blinkered on every down, mind you.

In this vain, my favorite football video game as a kid was the underwhelming but charming 10-yard Fight. I was nine when it was released, which gifted me with a suitable lack of expectation and a necessary amount of patience to enjoy a game with the limited locomotion. But then again, 10-yard Fight moved video gamers beyond Atari’s pixilation and into, well, a sharper variation of little blurry squares.

The beauty of Fight – as anyone nostalgic about the original batch of Nintendo offerings will attest to – was simplicity. No fancy intro featuring Kid Rock or Creed. No mistimed broadcasting on a loop, more obvious than Ferris Bueller’s rigged doorbell. No overcompensation of mini-games because the main product's bogged down in complex playbooks. Instead, Fight resourced one offensive mode – Tim Tebow’s preferred attack – the read-option. Your quarterback simply received the ball upon the snap and could enact one of three choices: 1) run, 2) toss the ball horizontally to a running back, 3) throw the ball to your lone down field receiver. It was the sort of stark, unscheduled, draw-it-up-the-sand approach to football that made you fall in love with the sport in the first place.

Playing the game again also reveals the ungoverned zeal Tebow must experience as he zigs and zags and then darts into every line, and finally, charges away from every helpless secondary. Tebow, like the Fight signal-caller, hurriedly scans for space, reads the lean of defenders' bodies and chooses an angle, by foot or by air. It’s a basic premise with an understated beauty.

But 10-yard Fight, like Tebow, is polarizing because most gamers and even those with a penchant for anything retro, prefer the oft-heralded Tecmo Bowl. And to be fair, Tecmo seems a superb blend of dynamism and graphical prowess in hindsight. Indeed, Fight never matched its game play, but made up the difference with quirky, old-fashioned touches, chief of which was its sound effects. Its mirthful audio snippets can only be described as cuts from an abandoned Casio keyboard recording session, which provided both practical and emotional checkpoints for a game that hinged on such things - as opposed to completing entire seasons or starting as a rookie and ending up an MVP. Fight’s intermittent jingles signalled new downs, first
downs and touchdowns, but more importantly, success!

Football deconstructed into 10-yard struggles posed a feasible and enticing challenge in the Eighties, kind of like the “It girls” they casted during the era's teen movies: Cindy Mancini in Can’t Buy Me Love or Andy in the The Goonies were just the types of love interests nerds locked in their rooms with Nintendo could not attain, but hoped to. Yet, if you consider today’s it girl - Madden on the Xbox, if you will - they’re all uninhibited nymphs whose mere silhouettes are enough to unsettle the fit of your Dockers. It's a challenge of another kind.

Fight will never hold a candle to a scantily-clad Shannon Elizabeth but it has its own sex appeal. How about, for example, when the marching defense is coming for you, with that tappity-tap drumming sound in your ear? Then, at a speed equitable to the one typically seen on CBS replays, you retreat your quarterback toward your own end zone, spinning and ducking in a Tebow-esquepixilated Gatorade - and will conclude its flight in the opposite end zone, in the hands of your receiver. The bird-like whistle will sound repetitively as your man leaps for joy on the spot. You glance at the rapidly ticking clock and get ready to defend, where you’ll soon play the part of cumbersome obstacle, and your opponent will attempt to secure ground in highly-coveted 10-yard increments.

Football, the way it was intended.

Doubling down on quarterbacks

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 08:57:00 +0000

They say fortune favors the brave, and at The Quarterback Casino this week, there were five fearless bidders for Peyton Manning. But there were also four losers at the close, and no matter what you think was whispered behind heavy doors guarded by burly earpiece-toting goons, there was only ever going to be one awarded the spoils. So I think it’s a stretch for some pundits and fans to start tossing their complimentary cocktails at the GMs who sat down at the Peyton Hold ‘Em table and left short of a flush. Cards were dealt, faces turned to stone, and perhaps some Jennifer Tilly-style cleavage was even dropped. But once those cards tumbled, all bets were off. The public went into a frenzy and everyone with a Twitter account was ready to pounce with 140-character assassinations. Sure, it’s human nature to hope for a run of aces in such matters, but really, how often do you land a king?

The Manning free agency story has reaffirmed an ugly truth about modern water-cooler conversation, and that’s that every opinion, and every warped or misguided piece of gossip is shaping the collective perception about sports stories, even if all the information published is inaccurate. In particular, I take exception to the incessant slaughtering of the Miami Dolphins, as both a brand and an organization, first by a number of columnists, and broadly across social media, as if their current circumstance - being a mid-tier ball club - is the result of a flawed business strategy. This so-called hopelessness, not merely the ups and downs of off-season gambling, is said to have undermined the Fins ability to sign Matt Flynn, and perhaps Alex Smith, too. Seriously? Somebody sound the shark alarm: the Dolphins are in trouble!

Even if the Fish are starting to smell, even if what chronic tweeters like the Steelers' Ryan Clark says is remotely true, we have no real evidence to suggest that it was the basis of Manning’s choice to play in Denver. The fact that John Elway is the head honcho in Mile High would indicate that Manning was hooked on the Broncos from the start. None of the other four teams in play employ Elway either, so in that regard, they were each equally disadvantaged, and equally flawed in their chase. But because Miami so hastily pursued Flynn after Manning, and missed there as well, the stink of the initial miscue is more pungent, at least in the public arena, where apparently opinion now trumps fact. That little context is provided to the endless vitriol of rumor spewed across the web, and that only a tiny percentage of people – usually players, agents, and some reporters are actually informed about these dealings – makes it implausible that we consider it, or that so many columnists fuel the fire further. In some cases, it seems, the players don't even know the truth themselves, as we saw with Smith traveling to Miami in search of new options.

And now the online consensus is that Miami's signing of David Garrard was a desperate and floundering move from an organization is complete disarray, due mostly to the perceived ineptitude of GM Jeff Ireland. Heck, fans in Miami have taken to the streets over this. My question to those spinning this agenda, including the Tweeters, Commenters, and News Churners, is what is the club supposed to do at this juncture? If they do nothing, after missing on two quarterbacks, one of whom hasn't proven a thing outside of playing well in two NFL games, then certainly their inactivity would be ridiculed. By inking Garrard, who has played well in recent seasons, including 23 touchdowns for a 90.8 QB rating in 2010, they at least have an additional QB option. If the team signed him after 2008's AFC Wild Card Game it would be regarded as genius. Instead, now, it's a major risk because what you did five minutes ago isn't just fresh in the mind, it means the world. In this light, Matt Flynn is a superstar because he won a meaningless game late last season.

Hey here's something to tweet: Matt Moore won six games last year as the Dolphins starter, and was a play away from beating both the Cowboys and Giants too.

This article first appeared on Technorati as Broncos Strong Hand, While Dolphins Go Fish

Best safety-man ever

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 07:00:00 +0000

This Peanuts sketch, a draft by the great Charles Schultz, is one of my favorites. Of course it's not as iconic as Lucy's ongoing kick-holder gag, but there's something surprising and hilarious about Snoopy swooping in on Chuck like Ed Reed. And then the casual delivery of the punchline, "Best safety-man we've ever had," is so silly it's both heartwarming and brilliant.

Elway's Manning Audible

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:09:00 +0000

Things were looking so hopeful for Dolphins fans a week ago, with the prospect of Peyton Manning, already a part-time Miami resident, making sunny South Beach his full-time home as the local team's quarterback. How sweet life could have been in this scenario: endless sun, pina coladas, presumably better baseball on its way, and the world's greatest signal-caller kicking ass and taking names in the modern Orange Bowl - the Fergie Bowl.

Then a chilly air swept through, blustery and burly like the man blowing it. John Elway, the greatest signal-caller of an earlier era, rode up to the Free Agent Saloon as Denver's saviour, like he has so many times before, to talk the same shot-gun language as Peyton. He probably ordered a whiskey sour, threw a warm arm around the highly-coveted pilgrim, whispered a few sweet audibles, and Bam!, every other team in contention was staring at the rear-end of a one horse race. Yippee-ki-yay MF!

In many ways this isn't fair on Dolphins, Cardinals, or Titans fans, whose clubs have truly legitimate and logical reasons to offer Manning a roster spot. What, after all, is reasonable about Manning going to Denver? Because Elway is there? They had Orton and blew that. They have Tebow and are ruining that. Now, almost as if to alleviate the ramifications of those misjudgements, the Broncos seek Manning's services, and look more like landing him than any other NFL club.

What's best for the league, and for fans, is being lost here. Manning will take his sore neck to frosty Mile High and possibly jeopardize his production with challenging conditions and an inferior offense. Then, the other quarterback-lacking clubs will overpay sub-par QBs who'll notch pedestrian numbers and help their teams miss the playoffs. So instead of seeing one dynamite Manning-led outfit, with football's John Wayne at the helm for one last hurrah, we'll have four mediocre clubs with distraught fan bases, desperately and sadly hoping Brett Favre un-retires.

From Marino, to Moore to...Manning?

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 08:54:00 +0000

The Revenge of the Birds blog wrote a brief commentary this week on why Peyton Manning won't sign with the Jets, Redskins or Dolphins, citing unsuitable cities, dubious weather, new coaching regimes, uninspiring receiving corps, and not enough pork sandwich outlets as chief arguments. Okay, I made that last one up. But the other points are all valid.

Are these concerns realistic?

I certainly agree that Peyton in Jets green seems egregious: haven't we already been down that rocky road with Brett Favre? We know the Big Apple is a pressure cooker environment for quarterbacks - unless you share a name with Manhattan's theater district that is - and so it's a stretch to imagine Peyton facing that heat at this stage of his career, and in a town his brother already owns. Where's the upside? In hoping to meet Woody Allen, but spending more time with Woody Johnson?

Washington poses a more likely destination, especially with their superior coaching and bottomless pockets. But then again, would the ultimate on-field general be willing to relinquish some his command to the Shanahans? Doubtful. Furthermore, would the Hogs, a team perennially in limbo and without a bona fide leader, be keen on a veteran QB in a precarious state of health?

One time star, and Championship air guitarist, Donovan McNabb, threw his two cents in this week, indicating to ESPN that the Skins wouldn't again entertain a signal-caller at the tail end of his career. Donovan is apparently still part of Washington's inner circle.

"I don't see Peyton ending up in Washington," said McNabb. "Because what happens is now you're bringing in another veteran who will be 35, 36, who's been in one offense throughout his career - it's the same situation (as McNabb in 2010)."

That leaves the Dolphins, who in my mind, at least have the best receiving corps for a precision passer like Peyton. The group is headlined by the NFL's fiercest run-after-the-catch receiver Brandon Marshall, and also includes slot maestro, Davone Bess, the big mitts of Anthony Fasano, and the speedy down-field threat Brian Hartline, who according to the Phins Spotlight blog, has improved this past season with his 15.7 yards per catch.

As much as the Red Birds crave Manning too, I fear they're stuck with their low-key marquee man Kevin Kolb, whose nine touchdowns and eight turnovers in 2011 seem about on par with driving Aunt Edna to Phoenix. At least he's not Derek Anderson, right? Then again, Anderson could send it deep. (Sorry, momentary lapse into disillusionment).

Perhaps the final say goes to the South Florida faithful whose attempts to lure Manning have fallen just short of having Kim Kardashian parade around in an 18-shaped bikini. (Could that even work? The mind boggles). The Washington Post recently reported that Fins fans have erected a billboard at the intersection of I-95 and I-595 in Fort Lauderdale to advertise ManningtoMiami.com and their campaign. The website urges locals to vote for Manning to bring his talents, and neck brace, to South Beach, for what would surely be on par with Colts great Earl Morrall turning up in Miami and guiding the club to the NFL's first undefeated season in 1972. At the very least, Peyton could catch some rays and give LeBron James some pointers on how to be more measured in setting expectations.

Swimsuit models and QB ratings

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 10:34:00 +0000

Each year, the Madden game hits shelves with new tweaks, iterations, ideas, beeps and buzzes, and of course, a cover shot to supplant the last. Is there a cover outside of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue more hotly anticipated?

Once the new product adorns store fronts, congests blog forums and splashes across gaming magazines, we're regaled of graphical tales about EA labs where Madden's mad scientists whiteboarded new angles, conjured impossible moves, and acted out scenarios while hooked up to motion sensor devices. There are made-for-press-release subtleties like the addition of delicate shadows, artificial intelligence to replicate player tendencies, and generally more layers than a Chicago Bears punter in December. In the end, it's all about increasing the complexity and diversity of the experience so that what is essentially the same game, appears slightly different every summer. It's a well considered project, and with the exception of last year's delayed release, superbly executed.

But there is one aspect of the whole Madden saga that seems overlooked, and which I believe in this age of celebrity and news indulgence makes complete sense: the rate at which a player is distracted off-field. In other words, how much energy is he using, shall we say, between the sheets.

Now on the surface this seems a rather superficial concern, and perhaps not entirely appropriate for a video game enjoyed by kids. But this rating could easily be couched as "game day focus" or "mental preparedness" because such elements are very real considerations in any sporting endeavor. After all, pro football offers some stiff competition - pun intended.

So perhaps the fine people at EA could standardize this statistic for us Madden gamers in their next edition. They could call it the WAG (Wives And Girlfriends) Factor, and score the level of influence or distraction caused by partners of prominent players. Quarterbacks, as the highest profile stars, would be the most suitable category to trial this formula. For example, Tom Brady might score 75 points on the WAG Factor (as opposed to his "Awareness" score of 98 in Madden 12), because if popular media teaches us anything, it's that New England's favorite son hasn't performed to his optimum since dating Gisele Bundchen.

Or how about Tony Romo, who now as a married man might score 83, but surely would have been penalized in 2007 for dating pop music bombshell, Jessica Simpson - the ideal distraction. I'd suggest the former Romo - an 88 scorer overall in Madden 12 - might have tallied 54 in the WAG Factor. Then there's Jets signal-caller Mark Sanchez, who has the enviable task of dating swimsuit model, Kate Upton, but the unenviable delegation of explaining every lackluster performance to the New York media.

After The Sanchize's three-interception stunner against Miami last season, we could possibly deduce a significant level of "distraction". Sanchez may not even notch 50% on Madden's WAG Factor: I'd propose 47. And do we dare imagine the focus of an Upton-smitten Sanchez next season? It's challenging enough for those on the sideline to ignore the comeliness of Sports Illustrated's latest cover model, let alone someone commanding a pro football huddle.

Lin and Tebow churn the media machine

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 09:35:00 +0000

A recent poll on ESPN.com has revealed that 84% of fans (as of Tuesday evening) consider the rise of the New York Knicks Jeremy Lin to be greater than that of Tim Tebow.

So out of control is the media's focus on Lin - the namesake of the so-called Linsanity phenomenon - that Sportscenter anchors are even likening him to The Beatles. He surely has little in common with the Fab Four, but like Tebow, Lin is a talented athlete with the ability to inspire his teammates. He's also simply a guy looking for a long-term career in pro sports, who didn't ask for any of this extra attention or analysis. And yet, the hype continues: GQ worked out some Lin lessons for the GOP; Yahoo claimed Kobe bowed to Lin's star power; and, The Huffington Post reported Harvard's rekindled love of basketball.

Why do we feel so compelled to seek out and elevate the next star of the hour? Are we just at the internet's mercy, fueled by micro-reporting and debate, constantly craving the latest search buzzwords?

Tebow - the web phenomenon - busted search algorithms when he painted John 3:16 on his face in early January. The top search terms that week were "John 3:16", "Tebow", and "Tim Tebow" according to Business Insider. Remember how crazy that period of time was? Was it really less "insane" than what's happening with Lin?

The Peyton Problem

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:30:00 +0000

Come on now. This is becoming more excruciating than the Favre Fiasco. More intriguing than Maria Menounos' bikini bet. More persistent than the questionable sanity around the Lin phenomenon.

Where on earth is Peyton Manning playing next season?!

We all expect the Colts to sacrifice their franchise quarterback rather than pay him $28 million, which means there hasn't been this much speculation about a worn out 36-year old since Angelina Jolie's rakish appearance on the red carpet last week.

So what next?

Well...

The Stampede Blue blog has an interesting breakdown of Peyton's contract in Indy.

Revenge of the Birds take a look at the top contenders in the Manning sweepstakes, outlining the pros and cons of signing No.18. Interestingly, the reader poll below this post significantly favored the Arizona Cardinals.

The National Football Post's Andrew Brandt blogs for The Huffington Post this week, covering some of the trickier financial angles of the Colts dumping Peyton.

But if you're just over the whole thing and would rather some Manning-infused comedy relief, look no further than Dave's Art Locker friends. Dave works Peyton's infamous frown into all 32 NFL logos. Nice job Dave.

Titans of the throwing industry

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:02:00 +0000

Among the many strange criticisms of Eli Manning is that he looks like a 12-year old. Even David Letterman was taken aback by the Super Bowl champ's fresh faced appearance last week.

"It seems to me you've gotten younger since the last time I saw you," Letterman said.

"I have," Eli quipped.

That Eli appeared stiffly in a blue blazer and maroon tie, his hair parted to one side like a Lego man, should not be an indictment of his personality - and yet, for many people it continues to be. An inordinate number of media and fans just don't to like the younger Manning, or at least, see him as an easy target. He's not accurate enough: that comes up, doesn't it? And sure, he's about a 58 per cent career passer. (But then again, he's thrown for 27, 579 yards and 185 touchdowns). Other people like to call Eli lucky, as if to say, his industrious and determined nature have nothing to do with his success. Aren't lucky athletes, simply quick-thinking, inventive and opportunistic?

The bottom line is that Eli isn't really cool. He's nice. He's the guy you'd like your sister to bring home. He's the opposite of Tom Brady, whose sharp looks and contemplated hair, perfect passes and cool nature, and broad shoulders and leggy wife, are all so fantastical that most people can't stomach hearing about his success. As fans, we can certainly be pedantic can't we? We don't like the goofy, and we tear down the fashionable. What's the middle ground, Aaron Rodgers? Maybe. He's not perfect either, you know.

Part of the problem is that the quarterback-jock icon is embedded in our minds, mostly due to Seventies and Eighties coming-of-age movies. He’s the guy with the delicate mane of hair, the Cruise-esque smile that looks hinged by screws, and obviously, the busty blonde cheerleader girlfriend on his arm. Life is charmed for the high school QB: consider that nobody else can wear painfully tight stone-washed jeans and still claim the respect of his friends.

It’s not until a QB hits the pro ranks, however, that he's personality is truly tested, that he earns his strips. He’s no longer dating the head cheerleader but rather, a supermodel; he’s paid in millions of dollars instead of cafeteria hamburgers on-the-house; and most importantly, he competes in a world that offers immortal status to those who excel - the Hall of Fame. It's high pressure, relentless scrutiny and a position that requires constant off-field maintenance along with on-field results. Just imagine having to cope with that in your own career.

When thinking about the coolest quarterback cats ever, the men whom somehow dodged the critical rush and thrived in all facets of modern athletic superstardom, Jim McMahon springs to mind. McMahon, a wise-cracking, showboating prankster, who had a penchant for headbands and big sunglasses, was also a skilled signal-caller who didn't care about what you thought. Boasting a strong arm and an uncanny knack for reading the game, McMahon was of that rare breed who could impact a contest with larger than life presence. He took things into his own hands, seemingly in retaliation to the regimented and stern regime of Head Bear, Mike Ditka, and because he seemed unfazed by consequence. This deliberate bravado, and perhaps angst, helped him conquer the NFL, even when he appeared wildly out of control. At Super Bowl XX, for instance, when asked by reporters about a buttock injury, McMahon dropped his pants and mooned them. And on his own Letterman appearance in 1986, McMahon slouched and grinned behind oversized sunglasses like he was trying to impress the other kids in class. It was frigging awesome.

While McMahon was loose and aloof, Brett Favre was everyman tough - and that made him likable, or at least "relatable". Off the field, their were some misgivings, to be sure. But before all that, Favre defined "gunslinger" and in turn, built a persona based on heroics and hi-jinks. After all, he ripped a locker room towel whip with as much fervor as a 40-yard Hail Mary. That's the sort of teammate everybody wants. He performed the immaculate, and still always felt so mortal.

There are of course so many popular quarterbacks, from Unitas to Montana, Staubach to Elway, and perhaps the NFL's smoothest all-time operator, Joe Namath (GQ magazine included Namath in its 25 Coolest Athletes of All Time in 2011). But in this pantheon of football poster men, a guy whose name surprisingly logs less Google or YouTube searches than others, is Warren Moon. Some pundits say Moon went undrafted in the NFL because he was black. Others simply question his suitability as a quarterback. Without trivializing the situation, it was perhaps a blessing that Moon ended up in the Canadian Football League anyway, firstly to improve his game, and secondly, to stick it to the doubters. Resilience and defiance, too, have been known to motivate people in the bleachers.

During six seasons with the Edmonton Eskimos, Moon commandeered an unprecedented five consecutive Grey Cup championship runs and threw for 21,288 yards and 144 touchdown passes. After proving his wares, it was of little surprise that the NFL finally came calling. Moon moved to Houston and instantly restored pride to the pastel blue. Among his many achievements in the American game, he joined the Dans - Marino and Fouts - as the only quarterbacks to post back-to-back 4,000-yard seasons. And if you're still unconvinced that Moon deserves to be in this conversation, just remember that he is the only player ever to be inducted into both the CFL and NFL Halls of Fame. That's at least astounding, if not cool.

While so many football writers and commentators fawn over the feats of Rodgers and Brees, Moon cooly, calmly and without event, threw 70,613 yards in the CFL and NFL combined. He was one of the purest, most elegant passers ever, who spiraled the ball as if it was on a spindle. And he did it repeatedly. If that doesn't steal the head cheerleader's attention, I don't know what will.

Tim Tebow praying for the Eighties

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 06:37:00 +0000

In case you missed it, here's a satirical piece I wrote about Tim Tebow and 80s video gaming for The Good Men Project last month. If you enjoy personal sports narratives, be sure to check out some of the other stuff on Good Men.

Best Super Bowl ad - for football fans

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:51:00 +0000

The ads from this year's Super Bowl have charged a range of emotions and in some cases appear to have clouded all judgement. Of course, deciding which ad is best is like ranking the NFL's greatest ever teams: it's a completely arbitrary exercise with inherent biases. What makes a commercial good anyway? Its originality? Its artistry? Whether it makes you laugh or cry? Whether you recall the product thirty minutes later? Because it features dogs? Maybe its all of the above.

It's been reported that 111 million people watched the big game Sunday, so we can safely assume that at least a few of these people saw the ads. And apparently, as reported by Clickz, the dancing M&Ms effort was the most Tweeted. It was also rated as the most effective by other industry measures. But can we really ever know the effectiveness of an ad? While numbers reveal instant reaction, surely each commercial has a different impact on the subconscious down the road, long after the final whistle of Super Sunday.

For what it's worth, I think the NFL's Evolution ad was among the most memorable, uptempo, nostalgic, colorful, creative and certainly appealing for traditional football fans. This was a full blown scrimmage, after all, and deserved ads with equitable ingenuity; sexualized chocolate and high-IQ dogs won't stick in my mind, I'm afraid.

Roger and me...and you...and football

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:06:00 +0000

Did you receive an email from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell this week? I did. Maybe he just sent it to me? Maybe he wants to be more than just friends. He'll have to do more than a rather pedestrian and detached written correspondence though. I need dinner, chocolates, flowers - a little romancing Rog! It's almost Valentine's Day!

Anyway, a letter of this nature truly requires reading between the lines. So here's an interpretation of Roger Goodell's recent message to fans.

To NFL Fans:

Now that another remarkable NFL season has concluded, let me express my gratitude on behalf of all 32 NFL teams for your incredible support. [Keep in mind, you may lose your team in the near future because LA needs a club and I like the movies.] Record numbers of you watched at home, made your way to the stadium, and connected with the NFL in numerous other ways during the 2011 season. Your love of football is what makes the NFL special [But don't rule out another lockout where I'll make you agonizingly wait for the season to kick-off. You're important, but so is extra pocket change].

We are proud of the quality of the game today. From the individuals and team skills on display in every game to the record-breaking achievements of future Hall of Famers, the 2011 season was extraordinary on many levels. [I was invited on even more TV shows than last year. My thanks to our PR team]

It finished up with some of the most exciting playoff games of recent years leading to a tense, drama-filled Super Bowl between the Giants and Patriots that was the most-watched show in the history of television. What a tribute to our players, coaches, and fans! [...advertisers, media partners and Madonna.]

As good as it’s been, I believe the NFL’s best days are ahead. Our responsibility in leading the league is to protect and enhance the bond between our game and the passionate fans who sustain it. We know we have to earn your trust every day and prove we are worthy of your amazing support. [But I likely won't be protecting the bond between players' heads and their bodies, nor the tradition of 16 fixtures - bring on 18 games!]

Our commitment to improve everything we do is ongoing. We are not done yet. [I just can't leave a good thing alone. It's like coffee: why have it plain when you can add caramel syrup?] From the game on the field to the fan experience at home -- and everything in between -- there are ways we can do even better. We owe it to you, the fans, to believe in better and strive for more. [In other words, I will be making changes for changes sake because I need to leave a stamp on the league. It's about legacy folks.] Our game has always evolved and that will continue. I encourage you to visit our new web site – NFL.com/evolution – to explore how the game has improved over the past century. There are more good changes to come. [See my earlier comment about more games.]

Our mission is captured very simply in these four words:

Forever forward. Forever football. [I wonder if I can get a gig with Hallmark - that's gold!] Thank you once again for your passion and commitment to the game we all love.

Roger Goodell [I wanted to sign off as "Commish", but had second thoughts. Let's keep this platonic.]

Giant Super Bowl project: Beat Brady

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 22:58:00 +0000

The key to dethroning the Patriots – who are indeed royalty in the modern NFL era – is to unseat King Brady. The Golden Boy of American pro football is one of the few quarterbacks whose body of work apparently excludes him from being pulverized by opponents. If, instead, Patriot enemies were permitted to work within the regular parameters of the sport, then Brady's torso, and not his resume, would occupy tacklers’ thoughts.

Nonetheless, there are other roads aspiring champions can travel. So to assist the New York Giants, because they're the team requiring greater help in the upcoming Super Bowl I believe, here are three ways to unnerve Tom Brady (none of which, I'm proud to say, involve commenting on his hair before the ball is hiked).

1. Rush him: it’s a straightforward plan employed with monumental success since the days of Ghengis Kahn. If you pester people enough, at least Ghengis found, they’ll surrender entire land masses. Similarly, when Brady wins, it's because he's been awarded too much time. Nobody holds firm in the pocket like Brady, nor steps up as effectively when the rush comes. So blitzing him is certainly easier said than done. With a concentrated approach up the middle, however, that limits Brady’s ability to step forward and load, the Giants can disrupt the Patriots passing rhythm. But they also need to be wary of the short, escape-hatch pass Wes Welker. Charge! Fluster! Hit! This is the best form of defense against New England.

2. Limit the short passing game: Rob Gronkowsi seems larger than his six-feet-six, which adds a psychological layer nobody needs. His hands, to make matters worse, are in more places than Jamie Oliver. But stunting the short game is vital to New York's success because it's central to Brady's act: it's where he'll hope to eclipse Madonna's medley. If Brady hits Gronk quickly though, the Giants will need to pounce. You don't want the big lug in stride, chugging for home. The goal is to take away the middle and force Brady to push it outside and long. The Pats move the chains and churn the clock better than anyone in the NFL, so the G-Men will want Brady to beat them via extraordinary plays only. That, at least, they can live with.

3. Be ready for the no-huddle, and play action: The Pats have a mediocre running game, led by a man so inspiring that they refer to him as The Law Firm. So if you're the Giants, how much sense does it make to fear the run? About as much sense as Bill Belichick's hoody. Brady and Co. will speed-up the battle by forgoing huddles, so the Giants need to finish tackles and hit their marks with the aplomb of Broadway performers. Then, if New York's secondary can hold in the slot for a moment and allow Brady his fake hand-offs and fancy pirouettes, they'll be better able to track the Pats' diligent but slow receivers, who let's face it, would've been late for the midnight ride had Paul Revere called in sick.

This article first appeared on Technorati as Three ways to beat Brady and win a Super Bowl

Super Bowl Sunday's three biggest upsets

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 23:23:00 +0000

With the Super Bowl almost upon us, we thought it a good time to recall some of the classic games of the past - the ones that likely prompted more tears than a Vernon Davis winning touchdown.

By Kent McGroarty (guest blogger)

The Super Bowl has become a sort of holiday over the years, and is arguably more fun than February’s “official” breathers, Groundhog and Valentine’s Days. Yes, there’s also Mardi Gras, but people get just as hammered on Super Bowl Sunday as they do when piling on the beads. At any rate, Super Bowl usually comprises one team crushing the other, making the big day less exciting than it ought to be. Then there are times when the team everyone thought would get their cleats handed to them actually wound up winning the whole shebang. Such games are also among the best entertainment in the game’s history.

Super Bowl upsets make for some awesome football, so here are three of the biggest ever:

Super Bowl IV: Kansas City Chiefs 23 - Minnesota Vikings 7

Not only were the Kansas City Chiefs widely regarded as not having a snowball’s chance in hell in this one, they were also dealing with a gambling scandal around quarterback Len Dawson. Despite Minnesota being the overwhelming favorites, the Chiefs took a 16-point lead at halftime, and their defense repeatedly kept the Vikings from invading the Chiefs end zone. Amazingly, KC held the Vikings to one touchdown on 67 offensive yards, and scored the game-winner on a 46-yard run. Dawson threw for 142 total yards and was named MVP.

Super Bowl XXXVI: New England Patriots 20 - Saint Louis Rams 17

It could be said that Super Bowl XXXVI was during a time when nobody really feared the Patriots or Tom Brady. Though the Pats took a 17-3 start, league MVP Kurt Warner and the Rams scored two fourth-quarter touchdowns to tie it with a minute and a half on the clock. Many figured the game would go into overtime, yet Brady drove his team to the Ram’s 30-yard line to put Adam Vinatieri in perfect position to kick the game-winning field goal. The astonishing victory thrust Brady into the spotlight, and there he has remained as one of the game’s greatest quarterbacks.

Super Bowl XXXII: Denver Broncos 31 - Green Bay Packers 24

Though it may be hard for some to remember when Brett Favre was just a pretty-young-thing, it was assumed Favre and the Packers would crush the aging John Elway and his Broncos. Though the Packers had won the Big Dance the previous year, they couldn’t stop Terrell Davis from rushing for 157 yards and scoring three touchdowns, including the winner with a mere two minutes on the clock. Elway finally won his ring.

Kent McGroarty is a Philadelphia based blogger for Gold Star Games, a tailgate gear supplier.

Audibles: Brady talks, people balk

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:56:00 +0000

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, a man known for his perfect smile, wife, and hair, has unfortunately made an imperfect comment: he doesn't like hotels in Buffalo.

Gasp!

Clearly there are fans who don't like Brady. There are media who don't like him. But this is an opinion, and the last time I checked, having an opinion isn't a crime. Somebody in the Brady entourage obviously thinks it is, however, because Brady apologized for his comment soon after.

I thought the Cloud Pusher blog gave this non-issue some much needed perspective.

Audibles: Manning and his future

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 08:36:00 +0000

So I'm introducing a new segment this week called "Audibles", where I post some worthwhile commentary from other blogs.

First up, Yahoo's Shutdown Corner ran a good piece today summarizing the agitated relationship between Colts owner Jim Irsay and quarterback Peyton Manning, with Irsay choosing the path of most resistance. Simply, Irsay places the "horseshoe" ahead of the player.

Enough quips have been made about Irsay's fashion sense so I won't try and articulate how he clearly places the pinstripe ahead of common sense. However, I will say that this kind of statement, whether you deem it to be fair or not, is so typical of a person preoccupied with business, and less vested in football and the people who make the game what it is. Maybe Manning does retire, and as fans we'll all be worse for it. But at some point the players responsible for making your club relevant again - after years of sheer wretchedness - deserve a morsel of respect. And perhaps Mr.Irsay, in this instance, Manning - the person - should come before your proverbial horseshoe.

NFL chirpy about tweeting

noreply@blogger.com (JP) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 06:06:00 +0000

As the 24-hour news cycle churns through empty injury reports, mundane coaching signings and Tim Tebow's golfing schedule, one story stood out to me: the announcement that the NFL is allowing players to tweet during the Pro Bowl. Stop the press! Whoever thought such a commitment - one that has little to do with the clanging of helmets on the field - would stir so much web ink? Further still, who might have anything constructive to say after said clanging?

Some valid points have already been raised about the insincerity and oddity of players tweeting during a pro football game, especially on Mashable and Shutdown Corner, while some folks consider it just harmless fun. As potentially entertaining or intriguing or awkward as it may be for Tweeters and yes, the Twitterati, to chat with the sport's elite, I wonder whether this really adds anything to the event for genuine fans? I'm certainly more excited to see Cam Newton perform his duck and weave, then spin and hoist, than I am to get his view on the best sandwich at Honolulu's Cheeseburger in Paradise? (Side note to Cam: I like the Beach Burger, any thoughts?)

By adopting this strategy, a move that flies in the face of everything Commissioner Roger Goodell has ever enforced, it feels like the NFL is wanting show its pearly whites and spread a little cheer, more like the rather sociable NBA and Major League Baseball whose employees are much easier to personalize - largely because you can see their faces.

In this regard it's not a crazy idea, just a little forced, like a Rex Ryan grin at a post-game presser.