Aries (March 21-April 19) You are the type of person that would agonize over the color of the curtains even if your house was on fire. Try [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19) You will receive a lot of compliments on your current outfits. Too bad you’re only looking good because everyone bought you clothing for [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19) Your all-or-nothing attitude will get you in trouble when your stomach explodes at an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. You shouldn’t have had that extra shrimp-filled [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19) Your judgment will be clouded by a mysterious source. It’s the from a poison gas cloud in your basement. Tell your roommate to [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19) My crystal ball says that you drink far too much soda. I can’t read any more because of all the bubbles. Oh, wait, [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19) A very attractive person will hit on you this week, but beware, they have more miles on them than your dad’s old car. [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19). An old flame will try to woo you back into his/her life. In addition to having a new haircut and a new attitude, they [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19). Warming something frozen up in the microwave and then adding some garlic salt does not make you a chef. Taurus (April 20-May [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19). You should try to de-stress by taking a leisurely walk, meditating, or practicing some light yoga. If you don’t, your heart [...]

Aries (March 21-April 19). No, you can’t ease your financial woes by selling your half-eaten sandwich on E-bay. Taurus (April 20-May 20). You will watch [...]